ew spider

SlytherPuff friendships
  • Slytherins not killing spiders because ew they don’t want to touch it
  • Puffs calmly smacking the thing dead with their BARE HANDS on SIGHT
  • Puffs smirking and waving the dead spider on their hand in Slytherin’s face
  • “get that thING AWAY FROM ME”
  • “omg there’s nothing to be afraid-” the spider drops off their hand and into Slytherin’s lap
  • “i’m going to murder you”
  • “you love me too much to do that”
  • “wanna bet?”
  • Puffs complaining about Slytherin’s never letting them choose which show to binge watch
  • “but whyyyyyyy?”
  • “because i have better taste”
  • “yeah but i wanna watch this one”
  • Puffs being the best hosts and offering their fridge, their blankets, their first children to make Slytherin feel comfy
  • and Slytherin loves every second of it
  • “by the way your favorite ice cream is in the fridge”
  • “see this is why i made you my friend”
  • Slytherin IMMEDIATELY becoming overly protective of sad Puff
  • “i-i just want-”
  • “revenge? to see them murdered? because you say the word and i will make this happen”
  • “….a hug??????? i wanT A HUG???”
  • “oh.” 
  • Slytherins fucking love Puff hugs
  • because they’re better at hugging, those soft cuddling plush badgers
  • Puffs giving the best gifts Slytherins have never even heard of
  • Slytherins give the best gifts that Puffs mention THAT ONE TIME 18 MONTHS AGO
  • so many hilarious arguments
  • Puffs being understanding when Slytherins put their guards up
  • Slytherins seeing much more beyond a Puff’s kind exterior
  • a mutual understanding of being summed up into a much smaller version of who they are
  • which allows them to see each other more clearly than other houses might

Request Scenario: You are staying at the BTS dorm and a giant spider is in your room, so you run one of the member’s room and asks to stay the night. {The lovely anon said I could choose the member…sooo…. Jimin it is}

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 767 

A/N: This is a bit short…sorry :( I’m just dying of feels right now to write anything good. I’m sorry if it sucks.


Imagining the amount of girls that would kill to be in your place right now made you fall over laughing.

“Umm Y/N-noona you okay?” Jungkook asked, laying down onto the floor to see you eye to eye.

“Can you imagine what your girls would think and say if they found out I’m sitting in the living room of the BTS dorm? With BTS?” You swiped a single tear from your eyes from laughing so hard, the boys shook their heads, finding your reason of laughter amusing.

“Well you wouldn’t be alive…” Namjoon gestured into the air, while rubbing his tired eyes. It was getting late and although you loved catching up with the boys, you knew they needed as much sleep as possible.

“Come on. Go to bed. You guys are tired already.” You suggested, getting up and lightly kicking the surrounding boys to move into their bedrooms. Slowly registering what you said, they all shuffled toward their rooms.

“Hey, goodnight Y/N.” Your older cousin, Hoseok, kissed you on your forehead and patted you towards your own room. Perks of having an extremely talented big ray of sunshine as your cousin. But before you could reach your door, you collided head to chest into the closed-eye Jimin.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry.” He mumbled repeatedly, parting your fallen hair to see if you were hurt.

God, why does he have to do this?! Your mind screamed, frustrated at his tender touches.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” You snapped, sounding a lot more rude than you intended, making Jimin freeze in action as he quickly dropped his hands and jog towards his room.

“Good job y/n. You have just yelled the boy who you think is the cutest being alive.”

Yawning and stretching your sore limbs, you spun around and went changed into your pajamas. Grumbling at how awkward you are and how pathetically you handled the situation. Tugging at the hem of your tshirt down, you grabbed a hold of your glasses and placed it on. As your vision blurred back to clear, the view you saw was only of a giant, long-legged spider. You were stuck starring at it viciously run around the top of the drawers, unable to squeak a single sound, you rigidly backed out of the room and into the closest room to you. Standing there facing the hallway, the gruff voice snapped you out of your horrific trance.

“Y/N?” You’ve never had alarms go off in your mind, but that night it did when you heard the sweet, groggy voice of Jimin. Your lifted your legs and rotated, all of the curse words you’ve learned in your many years flooded very crevice of your brain.

“Spider. In. My. Room.” You stated each word stiffly, arms shaking. You don’t need mention that you hated spiders, before Jimin sat up on his bed smiling his eye-squinting smile. Your heart swell to new lengths, seeing him smile always made you smile no matter what. Even Hoseok made fun of you the first time he saw how his younger member made you feel.

“I’m not going to be a hero and killed that for you at night. I will tomorrow, but for the mean time, do you want to sleep in my bed? I will sleep on the floor instead.” Jimin suggested, shifting his legs off the bed, ready to get up.

“Oh no no. I mean, you could just…” This time, you were stuttering because you were too embarrassed to comprehend what you just said.

“I like that idea.” Jimin grinned, snuggling back into his warm pile of blanket after lifting it up to welcome you into the heat.

Awkwardly sticking each part of your body in, you laid frozen and so close to edge of the mattress that if you were to move an inch, you would’ve fallen flat onto the hard floor.

“Oh come here.” Jimin gripped your waist and pulled to into him. You felt the air getting knocked out of your lungs as you felt his chest sinking in and out from his breathing on your shoulder. You could scream and die happy, rolling your eyes at your fangirl-like thoughts.

“Umm…”’ You were confused, although you were definitely not complaining.

“I heard you declare that I was the cutest being alive in the hallway.” He responded sleepily, smiling against your neck.

“Oh.” You could also die of embarrassment right about now too.

“Yeah. You are too though.” And if that he slept soundly, leaving you wide-eyed and heart beating out of your chest in the dark warm room, while you silently listened to the steady breathing of Park Jimin.


Hope you enjoyed it anon! Especially if you wanted a specific member, please tell me, I will write it! xx

//gif is not mine//


(1) In July 1966′s The Amazing Spider-Man #38, Steve Ditko & Stan Lee used Peter Parker to dismisively mock the nascent counter-culture and its radical political convictions. There’s been a tendency to lay the blame for this thoroughly reactionary tone at the door of plotter/artist and dedicated Objectivist Ditko. But it can hardly be said that Lee’s dialogue’s showed the slightest sympathy for the idea of student protest. It is, in truth, a thoroughly unpleasant sequence, so sweeping in its contemptuousness than it fails to score a single legitimate point against its target. (The points were, after all, surely there to be scored.) As the times changed, of course, Lee would adopt a far more liberal approach in his stories, while Ditko would continue his course out to the distant reaches of Randism. (2) Fast forward almost 46 years and we’re finally given the reason for Parker’s atypical ultra-conservatism in a single panel of January 2015′s Captain America & The Mighty Avengers #1, by Al Ewing, Luke Ross et al. What’s lovely about the frame is that it succeeds in making Peter Parker more rather than less endearing while changing not a word of the original story. Yes, Parker had, during a brief and youthful moment of ignorance and hubris, succumbed to the pernicious uber-selfishness of Atlas Shrugged. Yet like many a teenage aberration, he’s long since put it behind him. The fact that Parker has the decency to be so ashamed of himself only makes him all the more sympathetic.

Captain Britain and the Mighty Defenders #1 (of 2)

Al Ewing (w) • Alan Davis (a)

• Welcome to Battleworld - where, in what’s left of Mondo-City One, Boss Cage is the law!
• When the fascist futuropolis annexes neighboring Yinsen City, who’ll stand up for Ho Yinsen’s dream of universal peace?
• If you liked the Mighty Avengers – you’ll love the Mighty Defenders!

Cover by Alan Davis

Rereading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter Thirty-Three - The Death Eaters

- so we’re getting a description of voldemort rn and its super gross guys. HIS HANDS R LIKE PALE SPIDERS LIKE???? EW

“Hold out your arm,” said Voldemort lazily.
“Oh Master…thank you, Master…”
He extended the bleeding stump, but Voldemort laughed again.
“The other arm, Wormtail.”


“It is back,” he said softly, “they will all have noticed it…and now, we shall see…now we shall know…”
He pressed his long white forefinger to the brand on Wormtail’s arm.

somewhere in the UK, lucius malfoy is shitting his pants 

- why is voldemort telling harry his life story right now? like does he really think harry cares and ALSO like theres still the chance that harry could get away and use this information against him so??? voldemorts pretty dumb


Then one of the Death Eaters fell to his knees, crawled toward Voldemort, and kissed the hem of his black robes.
“Master…Master…” he murmured.
The Death Eaters behind him did the same.

um ew

- lol voldemort is giving this long ass speech and wormtail is like rolling around of the ground screaming and bleeding. you could say he’s a major downer at this party.

- ya okay and now a dudes getting crucio-d. this parties getting lamer by the second, i think we should bounce guys

“You ask for forgiveness? I do not forgive, I do not forget.”

me when i slock a bitch who says they don’t like harry potter (ive been rewatching orange is the new black and feeling a lil frisky ok?)

“Lucius, my slippery friend,”

this sounds 1. sexual and 2. like the best way to describe lucius 

- voldemorts talking about his faithful servant at hogwarts and im over here like HMMMM I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE (i thought it was snape the first time i read this BOY O BOY was i wrong)

- voldemort is really laying it all out for us guys. hes been going on for like 3 pages now THE GOSSIPS GETTING REAL JUICY 

- poor bertha jorkins tho

“I would need three powerful ingredients. Well, one of them was already at hand, was it not, Wormtail?”

HA guys get it. at HAND. damn. voldys got jokes yall

- ‘YASSSS BRUH LETS DUEL’ - voldemort 

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