ew my god

  • Person A: *runs up to friend/Person C panting* YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!!
  • Person C: What?? What happened??
  • Person A: (Person B) just read Killing Stalking!
  • Person C: So??
  • Person B: *running after person A with kitchen knife* COOOME BAAACK~ I WANT TO TIE YOU UP IN MY BASEMENT~~
  • Person A: *unholy petrified screeching*

Matt: *Sigh*

Matt: Hey, Tord! I was just on my way out

Tord: It’ll actually be better if we didn’t go back into that room. Look, Matt, I just want you to know that we care about you no matter what.

Tord: And I know you’d probably be expecting Edd to tell you that it doesn’t matter about your sexuality we like you because of who you are as a person not who you want to sleep with. 

Tord: So even if you are gay it’s okay cause we’ll still love you! 

lamsforlams  asked:

Could you write a connor x evan where no one knows their dating and Zoe, Alana, Jared, Connor, and Evan are eating lunch and Zoe, Alana, and Jared notice a hickie on Evans neck and they freak out and him and connor ars super embarrassed



When Evan and Connor became a thing, they decided against telling anyone. They knew their friends would be overbearing if they did tell them. So they thought it was just better to keep the relationship between themselves.

The day had gone by normally. The two boys went to classes and ended up eating lunch with their friends. Zoe, Alana and Jared were all still in dark about the relationship between the two boys.

“So I was like Mr. Bellden, with all due respect I believe I deserved one hundred percent on this project-” Alana was in the midst of her story when Jared cut her off.

“Evan is that a hickey!” Jared gasped as he saw the small purple bruise poking out from Evan’s collar.

Evan blushed. “N-no it’s not!”

Zoe’s eyes widened as she saw part of the little bruise. “Oh my god Evan! Who the hell gave you a hickey!” Zoe was in utter shock. Evan had a boyfriend or girlfriend? Why didn’t he tell them?

“Evan, I didn’t expect this from you of all people!” Alana was shocked.

Connor had to hide his blush, holy fuck. Evan was right he should not have given him a hickey in that spot. “Wait a second! Connor are you blushing too! Are you the one who gave Evan that hickey!” Jared laughed.

“Oh my god ew, no.” Zoe gagged. The thought of her brother and Evan dating was weird to her.

“You guys! What the heck!” Alana covered her face.

Both Evan and Connor were super embarrassed. They’d done so well with hiding their relationship but a little hickey was enough to make the two teens all flustered and embarrassed. 

Jared, Alana and Zoe were all still freaking out and making fun of them

“I hate you so much.” Evan muttered as he covered his face.

“I hate myself too don’t fucking worry.” Connor grumbled back, the blush still evident on his pale cheeks.

Talking Body

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson



Imagine: You are in a extremely heated situation with Klaus and your younger daughter bursts in, so you have to explain to her what’s happening and the older one, who understands what you were doing, keeps making disgusted sounds. After it is all done, you go back to what you were doing.

Warnings: dirty, dirty smut. oral sex (female receiving). sex, ofc. a bit fluff. roughness. swearing. and i guess that’s it.

Word Count: 3105

Being Klaus Mikaelson’s partner was definitely not an easy task; aside the fact he was a very complicated and troubled man, the blond had many enemies who craved to see him defeated, which means you were always their first target when they wanted to draw his attention. A bunch of fools, if you were to be honest, for you were no damsel in distress. Matter fact, you had been taught to fight ever since you could remember. Born in a werewolf family, it was kind of obvious that your parents guaranteed to never leave their beloved child unprepared to the supernatural life.

“Mum!” Cami, your younger daughter, yelled, getting you out of your inner thoughts. You closed the book you were reading and offered her a happy smile. “Dad won’t let me have cookies!”

“That’s because you just had dinner!” A masculine voice replied, trying to sound angry. A soft laugh left your lips. “Agree with me on this, darling.”

“Your father is right, baby.” You stroke her red cheek, placing one blonde curl behind her ear. “Also, you need to go to bed. It’s late.”

“Urgh.” She whined, pouting, making both you and Klaus giggle. “This isn’t fair!”

Whilst the girl escaped, running out of the room, you stood up from the cushioned armchair you were sitting on and went straight to your husband's​ arms, enjoying, afterwards, the warm hug he gave you. It was adorable how he never stopped doing these little things like hugging, kissing, holding your hand, grabbing your ass whenever you were not paying attention… All of it; Klaus simply could never stop reassuring his love for you. As for yourself, well, the feelings were wildly mutual.

“I’ll tuck her in.” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. “Wait for me in our room wearing that. I’ve been wanting to tear that dress out of you all day long.”

Keep reading

Caught in the Act - Isaac Lahey

Characters: Isaac Lahey, Stiles Stilinski, Reader.


Originally posted by dylpicklesprays

Characters: Isaac Lahey, Stiles Stilinski, Reader.


You giggled, Isaac picking you up as he carried you inside your house. He turned around, pinning you against the door as you kissed.

“Wait.” You whisper, pulling away. “Stiles?” You yell, hearing no response from your brother.

You shrug and Isaac smirks, kissing you hard. You grasp the back of his neck, dropping your purse on the floor as you wrap your legs tighter around his waist. His hand starts to trail from your waist down before you stop him.

“Wait, babe. My dad could come home anytime. I didn’t see Stiles’ Jeep so he could come home soon too.”

Isaac nods and carries you to your room, kicking the door shut behind him. He sits you on your bed and he takes his leather jacket off. You let out a big breath, trying to cool down from your interaction with your boyfriend. You sit up cross-legged after taking your shoes off and Isaac sits across from you.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that right.” He grins and you blush.

“Shut up, Lahey.” You tease and he raises an eyebrow.

“Make me, Stilinski.

“Maybe I will.” You smirk, leaning forward. You squeeze your arms together so your cleavage becomes more prominent.

“Damn..” Isaac whispers biting his lip. You smile and sit back.

“We’re supposed to be studying. That’s what my daddy thinks anyway.” You say lowly, looking up at Isaac through your lashes.

You hear a quiet growl from Isaac. “Daddy? I can show you daddy.” He says, snaking his hands around your waist and pulling you onto his lap.

You squeal, laughing as he smiles at you. You cup his cheeks, kissing him. Your lips connect perfectly, his chiseled jaw resting in your hands as you lean into him. He bites your lip, tugging on it as you let out a low moan.

He slips his tongue into your mouth, both of you battling for dominance as you slide your hands to his broad shoulders. He lays you back, your shirt riding up as he hovers over you.

He pulls away and bites his lip. “I’m so in love you with you.” He mutters as he slides a hand across your hipbone. He slips your shirt over your head and you pull him back down, kissing him again. You reach down and unbuckle his belt before unbuttoning his pants, you tug on them, signaling for him to take them off.

He chuckles and you roll your eyes. “Eager much?”

You nudge his shoulder. “Shut up and kiss me.” He pulls his belt off, kissing up your stomach to your lips, groaning into your mouth as you slip your hand under his shirt, running your fingers down his toned abdomen.

“Y/N, dad said to order dinner befo-” Stiles opens the door, walking into your room. You and Isaac immediately detach yourselves from each other and you desperately reach for your shirt. “Oh for God’s sake!” He squints, covering his eyes. “Ew!” He shakes his head. “What the hell! Ew! Oh my God!” He yells, running down the hallway.

You hurry up putting your shirt on and you run after him. “Stiles!” You shout, stomping down the stairs to get to his Jeep before he can leave. “Stiles!” You grab his arms and he looks at you with disgust.

He shakes his hands off, as if he had something on them. “Gross.” He crinkles his nose. Isaac comes running out behind you, timidly approaching Stiles. “Ew.” Stiles mumbles.

“Can you speak in sentences?” You roll your eyes.

“I mean, I knew you two were dating but..” He shudders. “God! Gross! I have that imagine stuck in my head forever. I will always see my sister about to have sex with Isaac Lahey everytime I close my eyes.”

“Stiles, don’t be so dramatic.” You cross your arms and look at him.

“Dramatic?” He yells, flailing his arms. “I walked in on Lahey honking your boob! How am I the dramatic one?”

“I think honking would qualify as me squeezing her boob and literally saying ‘honk.’ Technically I just squeezed it.” Isaac interjects and you and Stiles turn to look at him, the same look on both of your faces.

“You honked my sister’s boob.” Stiles says blankly.

“Nobody’s boob was honked okay?! Jesus, you two!” You sigh, burying your head in your hands.