ew idk what this is but i tried

scarlthesnarl  asked:

“Make that bird stop chirping, I’m trying to sleep.” Natan.

Like all her fellow homo sapiens, Natalie quite likes getting her full eight hours of recommended sleep (on weekdays, anyway, weekends are solely reserved for waking up at 3 PM and watching cat videos until night arrives again) and waking up fully rested so she can tackle her demon-filled day with a smile on her face.

(It pisses them off and Natalie lives for being low-key petty.)

Today, on March fifth, in the year of her roommate’s brother/cousin (add to her to-do list: figure out how Satan is related to Jesus on the family tree) 2017, however, Natalie does not wake up fully rested and smiling, oh no, she wakes up with death written out in the depths of her bottle-green eyes.  Whose death, one may ask? For once, it’s not Satan.  No, this time it’s the infernal little chirping shits perched outside her window.  At five in the mcfucking morning, if she’s reading her alarm clock right.

“Make that bird stop chirping, I’m trying to sleep,” she mumbles, and buries her head deeper into her fluffy, hypoallergenic pillows.  Beside her, Satan shifts and yanks her blanket closer to him.  “You go make ‘em shut up, kid, I’m not your servant.”

“It’s Sunday, Luce.  If those birds don’t shut up in the next five minutes, we’ll be at Church in five hours for Mass.” Natalie smiles victoriously when the Devil practically leaps over her prone body to get to the window.  Human - 75, Devil - 125.  She’ll catch up soon.

She hears a bird squawk and says, “If you kill any of those birds, we’ll be going for evening Mass as well.”

Satan mutters out curses and grumbles about annoying little girls with too much power in their hands, but appears to comply as she hears the flapping of wings and then sweet, blissful silence.   

“Thank you, Lucifer,” Natalie coos as he flops next to her.  He tries to steal her blanket again but she merely rolls closer to his body warmth and sighs deeply.  

Human - 76, Devil - 125.

black ram, white ewe

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 2,035

warnings: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A/N: this is my first imagine for this blog! hope you enjoy :^) (the title is a racial motif from othello and idk why i did this)

summary: Bucky and you are at one of many of Tony’s infamous parties at a huge club opening, he sees you as a little lamb—innocent and young. Bucky sees an overly drunk-off-his-ass guy trying to hit on you, seeing that you look so helpless, he tries to defend you but you beat him to the punch – quite literally.

Originally posted by stuckybarnesrogers

Your name: submit What is this?

You sat at the bar, quietly, letting your thoughts brew as you swirl the liquor in your glass endlessly. The thoughts that rest in your head are nothing but nonsense, trying to help yourself get through the night – and hoping that Tony is keeping himself out of trouble. You being his new assistant (the old one decided that his one too many requests for a specific amount of cheesy fries was just too stressful for her), keeping Tony out of the papers was your main goal, although you weren’t the top prioritized person to be watching over him, it was an important factor to your job.

Bucky sat across the over sized room, sitting on an extremely overpriced leather couch; watching you intently. His eyebrows were so tensed that they were pushing against each other, focusing obviously way too hard on the soft and delicate object in his vision. He stared at the soft colors painted on your clothes, your dark hair gently placed on your back – almost perfectly. He couldn’t help his eyes wander over your gentle features; your dark hair and eyes contrasting almost exemplary with your pale skin and pastel clothing. He always saw you like this; the perfect contrast of light and dark, the complete balance of black and white. Bucky only ever admired you from afar, afraid of scaring you off for obvious reasons (to him at least). Luckily, you always followed Tony around – you being his assistant, and he always had the pleasure of watching your movements; the tender steps you took but also seemed to have a harsh impact, the wind-swept sound of your voice but the abrasive tone of it when you had to scold Tony. He admired you, he adored you—he loved you.

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ABOUT ME

1: Name: Nina

2: Age: 17

3: 3 Fears darkness, feeling alone, insects

4: 3 things I love: Lukas, my new room, mom&dad

5: 4 turns on: hehe

6: 4 turns off: ew

7: My best friend: vivian

8: Sexual orientation: hetero

9: My best first date: idk

10: How tall am I: 165 cm

11: What do I miss: Lukas

12: What time were I born: 4 pm

13: Favourite color: pink

14: Do I have a crush: yes

15: Favourite quote: if you can dream it, you can do it

16: Favourite place: my bed

17: Favourite food: pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm: a lot

19: What am I listening to right now: someone like you - the summer set

20: First thing I notice in new person: the eyes

21: Shoe size: 39

22: Eye color: brown

23: Hair color: red

24: Favourite style of clothing: girly

25: Ever done a prank call?: ofc

27: Meaning behind my URL: hahahaha idk

28: Favourite movie: the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favourite song: trading yesterday - shattered

30: Favourite band: the fray

31: How I feel right now: good

32: Someone I love: Lukas

33: My current relationship status: in a relationship

34: My relationship with my parents: good

35: Favourite holiday: summer ofc

36: Tattoos and piercing i have: just 6 piercings in my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing i want: maybe a little tattoo hehe

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: i dont remember

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I don’t have one

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? yeah

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? yes

42: When did I last hold hands? sunday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? yes

45: Where am I right now? in my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: my friends, my boyfriend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? different

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yess

49: Am I excited for anything? yes

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? yes

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? often.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? sunday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i’d kill myself

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? maybe

55: What is something I disliked about today? boooring

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? justin bieber

57: What do I think about most? lukas

58: What’s my strangest talent? i don’t have a talent :’(

59: Do I have any strange phobias? elbows

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind

61: What was the last lie I told? everything’s okay

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? phone

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? nop

64: Do I believe in magic? a little bit

65: Do I believe in luck? yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? cloudy

67: What was the last book I’ve read? looking for alaska

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes omg

69: Do I have any nicknames? nini

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? broken my arm 

71: Do I spend money or save it? spend

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? noo

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? yes

74: Favourite animal? cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? idk ahaha evil? 

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? justin bieber - believe

78: How can you win my heart? be funny, let me trust you, be there for me, love me as much as you can

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? we will always love you

80: What is my favorite word? yay

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: idk there are too many

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? take care of each other

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? i know when someone is lying 

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? do you ever wanted to kill yourself?

86: What is my current desktop picture? ice creams 

87: Had sex? yes

88: Bought condoms? yes

89: Gotten pregnant? no

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? yes

92: Kissed a girl? yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

94: Had job? no

95: Left the house without my wallet? yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no

97: Had sex in public?no

98: Played on a sports team? yes

99: Smoked weed? yes

100: Did drugs? /

101: Smoked cigarettes? yes

102: Drank alcohol? yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? kinda

106: Been to a wedding? yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yes

109: Been outside my home country? yes

110: Gotten my heart broken? yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? nop

112: Broken a bone? yes

113: Cut myself? too often

114: Been to prom? no

115: Been in airplane? yes

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? justin bieber,..

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? no

119: Learned another language? yes

120: Wore make up? yes

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? yes

122: Had oral sex? yes

123: Dyed my hair? yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? no

125: Rode in an ambulance? yes

126: Had a surgery? yes

127: Met someone famous? no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yes

129: Peed outside? yes

130: Been fishing? no

131: Helped with charity? yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? yes

133: Broken a mirror? yes

134: What do I want for birthday? you

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2 and idk

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting? noooo ew

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? barbies 

139: Favourite Tv Show? gossip girl

140: Where do I want to live when older? usa

141: Play any musical instrument? yes

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? razors

143: Favourite pizza toping? cheeeeeseeee

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes

145: Am I afraid of heights? yes

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yes

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes

148: What I’m really bad at: cleaning 

149: What my greatest achievments are: idk i’m a looser 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: idk

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: end school, buy lots of food

152: What do I like about myself: eyes

153: My closest Tumblr friend: liem, lior, naomi

154: Something I fantasise about: you naked 

  • guys: "woah SOMEONE'S PMSing lmao" "Look all I'm saying is that women shouldn't have power because their hormones will make them make horrible decisions" "what do you mean you can't have sex right now??"
  • girls: *tries to explain how periods actually work"
  • guys: "woah woah I didn't want to know that" "gross" "ew keep that stuff to yourself"

anonymous asked:

Idk if this has been asked before but how about all introverts in one room with only a tiny window and heavily-locked door trying to escape?

WOW!!! MY FIRST NORMAL ANON!! 

(All eight of the introverted types were going about their ordinary lives when suddenly they found themselves in a large neon yellow room, with a tiny window and heavily-locked door as the only means of exiting.)

ISTJ: (tries to get everyone to the center of the room to make a plan)

ISTP: (immediately tries the locks and breaking the window)

ISFP: where am I?! Ew, what a horrible color to paint a room! My eyes hurt already.

INFP: let’s introduce ourselves!!

INFJ: this reminds me of a book I read. Maybe … we’re all actually characters in a book. Or a horrible MBTI fic.

ISFJ: (introduces self to INFP, they start talking)

INTP: (attempts to pick the lock with some random stuff they have in their pockets)

INTJ: (tries to recall how to pick a lock, so they can tell INTP what to do)

(In the end, INTP did succeed in picking the lock, with some help from INTJ and ISTP. They open the door and it turns out they’re in a maze of these stupid neon-colored rooms. They escape and it turns out it was a terrible prank done by the extroverts. Time to plot revenge.)

(Sorry if this was terrible. This is the first time I’ve ever gotten a request.)

ok but the first time michael ever admits he likes you he’s terrified, because you two have always had such a playful relationship and tease each other nonstop, and it was really an accident and he wasn’t thinking, he hadn’t meant to just absent mindedly mutter “why do i even have a crush on a dweeb like you?” and now he can’t stop blushing and stuttering as he tries to back track, saying things like “ew what the fuck? no i do n-noT have a crush on you that’s so ridiculous!” but his rosy red cheeks give away everything