ew ew ew


1. What was the last song he sang to? 

2. What color are his socks? 

3. What is his least favorite color? 

4. What animal does he relate his personality to? 

5. What does he have for breakfast? 

6. What shampoo does he use? 

7. What was the last thing he ate? 

8. How does he feel about the immigration crisis in Europe? 

9. Does he want a dog? If so, what kind? What would he call it? 

10. What’s his least favorite food?

11. If he could go back and relive any moment which moment would it be? 

12. What what his last dream about? 

13. What color is his toothbrush? 

14. Does he sleep on his tummy, his back or his side? 

15. What was the last tab he closed on his computer? 

16. Does he say Gif with a hard G or with a J. 

17. Stripes or polka dots? 

18. Is he a morning person or a night person? 

19. What is one of his habits? 

20. What are some goals of his he has yet to achieve? 

21. Does he have to sleep in complete darkness or does he like a bit of light? 

22. Which piece of advice does he live by? 

23. What’s his favorite car? 

24. What’s his advice for keeping up with friendships whilst he travels so much?

25. What was the last thing he did that got his mum mad?  

And lastly… Does he know he’s an angel of a person? Because he should.  


Keep in mind that he sent this to a profile that has the age set to eighteen… Where do we even begin? I am going to do an impression of this guy and sum up his profile. Tell me how I did:

“I want to connect with females who want to be appreciated for all their attributes, but I’m only ever going to talk about the sex ones in this profile. I’m also going to talk about the friend zone because apparently I am a 60 year old manbaby. I am going to imply that I am sad about being treated as a creep, despite the fact that literally none of the words on my profile are non-creepy. I am not compatible with females (yes, females - I will never refer to women as women, because I’m a disrespectful asshole) who aren’t 100% controlled by the moisture between their legs (by the way, I am absolutely disgusting, in case you hadn’t picked up on that) and think the friend zone is bad. Females disagreeing with me is bad. I want a woman who shows a lot of skin, probably not because I admire her confidence, but because I assume she will be an easy lay. Also, let me slip in at the end here that I am married. But no big deal - my wife knows she’s a total bitch, so come at me, wet females!
I’m going to add something about wanting philosophical discussion just to try to outweigh the fact that my entire profile is the grossest one you’ve probably seen in a hot minute, but luckily, I’m transparent as fuck. Hit me up, females 1/3rd my age! My wrinkled old dick is waiting for you!”

I know it’s petty, but I just had to include that final picture of his face because YOWZA. Some men age like fine wine. This dude aged like fucking milk.

(Also if this didn’t format correctly, feel free to ping me - I basically never use the submission feature on tumblr so I don’t know what I’m doing, hurr)

J: I’m just ew over his use of “females” and the age difference! Ew!!!!

What a shitty and insulting turn of events.  Not only does Modest want the fandom to believe that Zayn is the jerkiest guy ever to exist for “cheating” on Perrie yet again, but they also want people to think that Zayn deliberately found an “edgier, tattooed version of Perrie” all the way in fucking Asia to really embarrass the real and innocent Perrie.  WTF!  This chick (actress!) looks just Perrie from the back: same build, same hair, same height, same fashion-look! What a mess!  When I saw the pictures I thought that they finally brought in Perrie to prove that Zerrie is still up-and-running.  But then I saw all of her tatts and I was like “oh my god! this is so calculating!”  I have never been so disgusted about a situation.  EW!