evisceral

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Carcass - Empathological Necroticism

From their 1988 album Symphonies of Sickness.

Finished with the fragments, a mass of stinking waste
Spread-eagled bloody mess, I hastily eviscerate

the best, most biting callout i’ve ever received was “it clearly shines through in nearly every aspect of your personality and general aura that you loved dave strider during your teenage years” like… dead on the nose. fucking eviscerated, right then and there. no one can top that. no one ever even needs to try because, beating that? impossible

In general there is like. a whole category of Voltron angst premises that utterly fails to make me feel anything because it often severely underestimates the strength of the characters that it proposes to be breaking.

Like… Listen. Lance pretty dang likely had internal injuries and had spent a pretty impressive amount of time unresponsive and he woke up like that and shot Sendak in the shoulder before nearly back out again. This tells us Lance woke up, probably in no small amount of pain, probably pretty loopy since he remembered absolutely none of it afterwards, and the absolute first thing that occurred to him to do is Sendak was right there and he had a clear shot so, fuck that guy. He got in that situation in the first place because he saw a bomb going off and his first priority was to protect Coran- who at the time he’d known for… days, maybe? 

Pidge, the fourteen-year-old, who was pretty much entirely alone on the castle during that same time, having just lost contact with Allura, losing Rover and then hearing Shiro get tortured by Sendak- still kept her head about her enough to try and bait Sendak off with a hologram and was a major part of that fight. I mean. literally, take this emotionally compromised kid and go “you’re officially alone on a spaceship with murderous adult soldiers. They have your friends. They’re hurting your friends. You are the only one in position to do anything. Have fun.” And she won

Keith had his shoulder hacked pretty impressively in the first room of the Trial of Marmora and was given multiple opportunities to bail with a pretty clear pattern that the next room would be worse and have more attackers and Shiro states it as a given that Keith will not give up. Kolivan unambiguously tells him going in this is a life-or-death scenario. This is also Keith who willingly soloed freaking Zarkon with Coran actively telling him that he had no chance of surviving that fight because Zarkon is not getting the Black Lion.

Allura destroyed the last thing she had of her father in order to protect her team and let herself be captured by Zarkon in order to protect Shiro. She caught her second wind and held out against Haggar as best as she possibly could even knowing those odds were not good.

Coran picked a fight with Zarkon’s entire fleet piloting a ship ten thousand years old, alone, and did pretty dang good

Hunk actively, voluntarily, and enthusiastically picked a fight with a planet-eating monster stated to be one of the most dangerous things in space and long before that, all of his misgivings about signing up to save the universe evaporated like morning dew in the Sahara as soon as he saw what Shay and her people were going through. 

A lot of “angst” content seems to really disrespect or even ignore that these people are fighters. Survivors. These aren’t people who flake under pressure. In Shiro’s case, he literally never would have made it if he was. We see that at his worst, during his missing year, when he was utterly baffled by the idea anyone would help him and was pretty unsubtly about to be knocked out and experimented on- he was full of fight. There wasn’t much he could do but he wasn’t going down easily and if nothing else, the fact that there were two good-sized soldiers in full armor in the room taking the role of sedating him would tell us that Shiro didn’t exactly obediently walk to that room in the first place.

I see a lot of stuff that acts like Lance could get captured and in the time it’d take the team to get to him he could be ‘turned to the dark side’ or broken as a person and it’s like… the empire had a solid year to work on Shiro when the latter had the assumption that no one who would want to help him would even have the technology to reach him or even know he was alive in the first place and the empire didn’t win. What honestly makes you think they could take a month and destroy any of the team?

The Things We Give Welsh Learners: y Babi Sinsir

So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.

A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.

This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well. 

Well.

I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.

Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.

This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.

What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.

Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.

But, so far so good.

Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.

… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.

Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?

This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.

Nope.

But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.

The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.

Uh oh.

“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”

Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.

“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.

“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.

The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.

“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.

“Come and help, Mr Goat.”  “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.

“Come and help, Mr Dog.”  “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?

“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.

BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.

Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.

THAT IS A FOX

THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE

WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S

This doesn’t bode well for the -

Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHAT THE

Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD

The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.

What the

Wha

It

I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want

I mean

It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?

No one cares!

Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.

The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.

… 

…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…

Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.

Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.

But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.

And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.

anonymous asked:

Hi cunt women are lesser animals,with usually smaller brains, less neurons, and less synapses. That's why women rely more on instinct and emotion, rather than logic or reason. That also explains women's relative lack of intellectual accomplishments or invention over the past 3,000 years (and more). Your gender's main contributions have been singing, giving birth, cooking and cleaning, Nearly everything women have accomplished is with help from men or from a group of men. Women deserve no rights

Hi dickhead I’m feeling petty this morning so I’m gonna eviscerate this swill part by part. It seems like the concept of basic science confuses you. I’ll start by citing this article for you and provide some choice quotes. It used a heavily peer-reviewed study and the methodology was completely sound (i read the whole goddamn original work and several of its external citations).

“On average, for example, men tend to have a larger amygdala, a region associated with emotion. Such differences are small and highly influenced by the environment, yet they have still been used to paint a binary picture of the human brain,“

“Depending on whether the researchers looked at gray matter, white matter, or the diffusion tensor imaging data, between 23% and 53% of brains contained a mix of regions that fell on the male-end and female-end of the spectrum. Very few of the brains—between 0% and 8%—contained all male or all female structures.” 

A list of early inventions by women (it includes elevated rail-lines, Kevlar, and the submarine telescope! the lack of patents taken out by women early on is actually because men made it illegal for a woman to hold a patent in her name until the early 1900s. those darn men, always inhibiting progress)

 A detailed list of several well-known contemporary female scholars

Here’s Wikipedia’s list of Muslim women who made significant intellectual achievements

A list of 30 Black women who made history

A detailed history of Asian women’s contributions

Notable Native American women from the past 350 years

Here’s TWO articles on the contributions of trans women in contemporary culture (the first one also includes nonbinary people, just a heads up. It seemed more relevant than many of the others tho)

You know what fuck you here’s 50 more women who did important shit

Wikipedia’s history of lesbian literature (which lists a lot of books and authors)

Tbh I do agree with you on the singing being a main contribution, just because women have nicer voices (in my opinion) and are much more likely to use their songwriting expertise to push activist and progressive agendas.

Maybe don’t come into my inbox with this shit when you don’t know what you’re talking about? Put away the 18th century medical book and take a chill pill.

la-belle-et-la-bete  asked:

are you still doing fic outlines, if so: All But The Kitchen Sink, Viktuuri

Oh my god. Yuri on Ice: HGTV AU.

- “I’m a figure skater,” Victor says.

“I’m… also a figure skater?” Yuuri says.

“And our budget is 2 million!”

- (”Wait,” Yuuri says. “Really?”

Victor rubs Yuuri’s arm. “Our last ice show did very well.”)

- Neither of them are helpful.

-The least bit helpful.

- “Anywhere I can be with Yuuri is home,” Victor keeps sighing.

“Okay but how many bathrooms,” the hosts keep replying.

- Victor honestly believes that, but also he’ll casually drop statements like “we’re really in the market for eight bedrooms minimum” or “if you can’t fit a California king inside it is it really a walk-in closet.”

- (He’s trolling, mostly, but he does want to make sure they have enough bedrooms for their eventual hockey team of children.)

- For the first several houses, Yuuri’s response to everything is to wring his hands and say “It looks nice.” Finally, after all-out begging from the producers, Yuuri gives actual opinions and it turns out they are BLISTERINGLY SAVAGE.

- The camera crew stalks him from that moment on, zooming in on his beautiful thoughtful face, waiting for him to quietly eviscerate another McMansion.

- They are the first couple in the history of the show who do not want a double vanity. “Why?” ask the hosts. There’s a smash-cut to these clingy octopus monsters brushing their teeth while wrapped around each other.

- Victor pretends to be torn about their eventual house. He knows how reality TV works. He pretends the lack of apron sink in the kitchen is going to be a dealbreaker.

- And then their faces upon entering the master suite and seeing the hot tub become an extremely popular reaction gif.

- “I need it,” Yuuri hisses. Victor cries a little.

you know, I genuinely think the majority of games journalists and the type of people that write about games didn’t even start playing games until around 2005-2007

and it seems a hell of a lot of games journos or people that think like them are inordinately embarrassed by 90s games

Tomb Raider, Duke 3d, Doom, Deus Ex, Sonic, Mortal Kombat.

Rather than seeing them as landmarks of gaming history, they see them as embarrassments, diseases that gaming must recover from. Tumors to be removed from gaming’s consciousness.

Even the people that played games around this time and are into “gaming culture” seem to absolutely despise these games and games that came before.

You got Leigh Alexander blaming Deus Ex for screwing up her relationship with her dad. You got moviebob calling Deus Ex games “robot shooting games”.
we’ve got nobodies going on bizarre twitter rants about how Doom ruined gaming because it wasn’t a “sophisticated” rpg or Myst

and you got people saying with a straight face

“Sonic was never good”

I’m not even a Sonic fan, and I know that’s bullshit.

Thus this ties back into my theory about when they started playing video games….

Sonic 06 came out right around this time.

So Sonic as a franchise is getting hit by a doubly whammy of like, their first encounter with it being a particularly bad entry in the series, and of him being pretty much the final serious holdout of “Mascot…..WITH AN ATTITUDE” from the 90s.

Duke gets hit pretty bad cause OH HE’S MISOGYNISTIC and by his last proper game not being very good and severely outdated.

Lara Croft got hit by, despite a majority of her games being clever affairs about her agility, climbing and NOT FALLING ON THE GROUND, a bad early case of Fanbase Being Horny For Her, so these sorts REALLY don’t like her. So they like the boring drab dressed reboot Uncharted clone where she keeps falling off cliffs and crying, because they’re under the impression nobody is Horny for her (haha, how little they know)

with Mortal Kombat, you just gotta look at how positively they reacted to it having an actual story mode and more “realistically” proportioned women (though Netherealm honestly still isn’t GREAT at modelling and designing women yet)

Doom has people thinking it’s just a pulpy gore shoot affair, not knowing that you actually need a strategic approach and sharp reflexes to succeed and it has brilliant level designs that influence people TO THIS DAY

and with Deus Ex, you see people trying to eviscerate them for taking a non racial apartheid as a theme, screaming at them for having “Augmented Lives Matter” in a protester’s banner in concept art, even though Deus Ex ALWAYS talked about social issues, political philosophies, and conspiracy theories. and even though Adam Jensen Deus Ex games are probably some of the best representations of an understated dystopia, with augmented humans being discriminated against and legislated into oblivion, and dystopic nightmares about people never truly owning the body parts they need to live, Adam Jensen being only valued because he has a specific mutation in his DNA by his own company and the Illuminati, and with blue collar laborers being further dehumanized by getting augments because the company usually owns their body parts, they become dependent on anti rejection drugs, and often have them going into serious debt to keep a job that doesn’t pay enough to keep their debts. If that isn’t a “Late Capitalism” concept, what the hell IS? robot shooter my ass.

everything starts to make a lot more sense when you realize a lot of these people are neophytes to this art form that have no respect or sense of history to what came before, or bitter old assholes that should know better, but are perpetually enraged gaming hasn’t turned out how THEY wanted and that THEY have no control nor influence

Consider: Jared Kleinman with access to a kazoo
  • It starts out at a younger cousin’s bar mitzvah
  • There’s a kazoo in his party favor when he leaves
  • Jared has snuck quite a few sips of relatives’ alcohol at this point. He’s tipsy and he has a kazoo
  • You can bet there are gonna be a dozen You On Kazoo reenactments during the car ride home
  • He plays it tunelessly for hours until his mom confiscates it, but he takes it back the next morning before school
  • People can hear a horribly off-key rendition of “Eye Of The Tiger” playing outside of every classroom as he struts down the hall between classes
  • He switches to the theme song for Elmo’s World during lunch
  • Five different students have complained at this point, but teachers are too amused by this almost-adult playing a kid’s song on a golden kazoo to confiscate the thing
  • He heads to Evan’s house after school to play Mario Kart with him and screams the song for every single course (he’s got them all memorized)
  • Twenty minutes in, Connor shows up
  • The X-Files theme immediately begins to sound from Jared’s corner of the room
  • Connor isn’t in the mood for this shit but he’s 100% amused by it
  • “What the hell, Kleinman”
  • Jared takes the kazoo out of his mouth for one of the first times all day to whisper “Evan look it’s a cryptid”
  • Connor sits next to Evan and puts an arm around him
  • Cue “Careless Whisper” being aggressively played from directly behind them
  • “Jared, I will eviscerate you”
  • *kazoo intensifies*
  • This goes on for a solid three days before Connor and Evan finally band together and steal it in the middle of second period
  • Jared comes to school the next day with five more he bought at the party store
4

Here’s Mirow, a freshwater leviathan. Infinitely patient and clever, she’s always willing to listen to interesting problems and could, potentially, offer her assistance. It’s just difficult to tell whether Mirow intends to help, or if she’s more interested in getting you to move a little, too, close, to her River.
But a 50/50 between being eviscerated or blessed with ancient gator magic is better than nothing, right?

Thanks to everyone who helped me decide on her colors on twitter a while back!