evil-ex

1: Wasted

I should have never talked you out of suicide
It’s one of my biggest regrets in life,
Between loving you and staying
Up all those nights feeling your absence
In my heart and our home
And the suffering of being in love alone
While you lived inside someone else
Forgetting about me and your son
And all of those times you beat me
On the back that I bore you on
While carrying our child in my arms
And all of the ways you made me feel small
As if I were nothing at all
Besides what I gave and what I let you take
You’re right, it was all my mistake.
I’m sorry.

Watching Leverage (again) and I’m struck (again) by how much I love that they didn’t do the “evil ex-wife” thing with Maggie. And the writers definitely could have; the option was there. They could have had Maggie come in as a romantic rival for Sophie or just as someone who wants to see Nate and the team fail. But instead Maggie’s just a genuinely good person that cares about Nate and wants him to be happy/healthy (even if she doesn’t necessarily approve/agree with his illegal activities)

*hops on the bandwagon*

Okay, all. Here’s my two cents, for what it’s worth (…which I guess would be two cents, lol). Kara’s got a thousand-yard stare here, but Lena doesn’t seem particularly upset. I don’t this is “comforting” so much as it’s solidarity. My guess? Lena kills her evil ex, not Supergirl (although maybe she does it to protect Supergirl, especially if it’s finally unequivocally revealed that Lena knows Kara’s alter ego, although please, she’s known for months), and she’s worried this’ll ruin her relationship with Kara. She’s all, “you said you’d support me always” and of course Kara wouldn’t walk that back. She replies, “yeah, of course, we’ll figure this out *stares into the sun*”

It’s just. Kara’s face. That’s definitely a “how do I get rid of a dead body” face. obviously, Kara, you throw it into space, duh

Of course, this makes the promo tag “how far would you go for love” really, really read as “I’d kill my evil ex-boyfriend for the sake of my new girlfriend bezzie mate”, which I am 3000% okay with, lol

Okay but a genghis khan musical movie tho think of the possibilities:

  • Dancing henchmen, now with actual personalities
  • Hero having a introduction song thats basically a polished up version of what his life is like: it’s very james bond like and all that stuff
  • Villain having a very typically villainous introduction song and hero interrupting him. 
  • It basically being a running gag that agent always interrupts villains songs
  • Angry duets 
  • Fighting but it basically being dancing
  • Villain debating how to kill hero w/ his henchmen and them being like “Listen dude. It’s blatantly obvious you have a crush on him now go and get ready cause he’ll be there in a minute” and dressing him up in some very nice suit, cologne, maybe polish up his nose lmao, all in a dance number while villain’s protesting
  • Hero shows up and tries very hard not to notice how good villain looks suddenly (not that he doesn’t look good normally)
  • (Ex-)wife and villain having a big dance number where wife says villain has grown soft, villain trying to prove he’s absolutely not gone soft because of some stupid secret agent and is still very menacing (lmao)
  • The henchmen having their whole own song without villain, hero or anyone else. Like in the cafetaria, talking about whatever, then hero storming into the cafetaria with villain following him, fighting each other while the henchmen watch, singing about their thoughts on the whole ‘our boss is in love with his arch nemesis’ thing
  • THE LAB COATS HAVING AN ACTUAL PART IN ALL THIS I WANT SCIENTISTS AND HENCHMEN INTERACTING
  • Cute dancing and singing children!!!! I love them. 
  • Hero seems to almost exclusively take on missions where villain plays some sort of part, according to his boss. They eventually believe him when he says he just hates the dude very much and wants to take him down but he just never seems to succeed, he doesn’t understand how he seems to escape every time either.
  • The agency actually capturing villain in some way, agent helping him escape by providing just the tools he needs
  • Having to pretend he’s upset over villain escaping like ‘Why don’t we have any competent agents around here? Who put the key on a hook right next to the cell door?? Hmm??’ fucking nerd
  • Henchmen with actual personalities I wanna know what the guy who goes ooh in the background is really like
  • The martini glass making an appearance
  • Hero making shitty nose puns and villain getting back at him by making fun of the martini glass
  • Flirting without even noticing it themselves with henchmen rolling their eyes in the background
  • You know that labcoated guy in the background who sits at the computer and also goed ‘ooh’? He needs a part lmao
  • 60s music!!! lots and lots of different 60s music
  • Villain and agent physically fighting over something (a remote, a key, etc.) and them almost kissing
  • Villain deciding this needs to end now because he’ll lose everything he has if it doesn’t
  • Him and a team of scientists constructing the laser, the scientists very carefully asking him whether this is a good idea. Someone says that he could always just shoot him if he wanted hero dead, to which he answers that hero deserves something special. 
  • Hero being heartbroken when he’s placed on the table, discovering that he really can’t get out of it this time, scared for his life.
  • A duet with villain desperately trying to ignore hero trying to interrupt him while he’s singing about him wanting hero to get it on with nobody else but him, and when he’s about to push the button, the buzzer powers down the machine
  • So not only ANGRY duets, also sad duets
  • Wife asking whether he’s killed the agent yet when the children have gone to bed, and giving him an ultimatum when she hears he hasn’t
  • Villain having a reprise of his introduction song: his song was about how evil he was and how he was gonna take over the world yada yada, the reprise is about him hating how he suddenly has goodness in him, and how he hopes he’ll be able to do it the next day so everything can go back to normal. Hero’s part is about how he hoped villain had some goodness in him but apparently he doesn’t, because he’s going to kill him, but he still hopes he won’t.
  • Next day villain’s semi-convinced himself that he’ll be able to do it. He wants to tell hero how he feels but that he knows a relationship between them wouldn’t work out, and he DOES tell him. Hero’s going to die anyway, right?
  • The same events happening as in the video, but with a bigger dance number because come on it’s a musical, the henchmen are gonna do something more than just bopping along in the background
  • Hero reassuring villain that it can work out, and they’ll figure it out together.
  • Wife having observed everything that happened and shooting hero after dramatically appearing from behind a pillar, then escaping
  • Hero lying in villains arms, singing a kind of bittersweet goodbye song and villain being like ‘Shut the fuck up I’m not going to let you die’
  • Hero survives, of course, and is moved to a bed in the hospital wing to rest (not before kissing villain passionately, of course)
  • Wife coming to visit him in the hospital wing to finish the job, him singing about what his life was really like and how he glamorized it to feel better about himself and the image he should uphold as an agent, and how he loves villain and wants him to be happy, doing this to distract wife (but all of it being tru lmao) .Wife singing about how she never had the chance to pursue world domination because villain would amass their empire and she had to take care of the kids, also singing about her tragic backstory and that she worked so much harder for villains love than hero and he doesn’t deserve it.
  • Him using the oppurtunity to push a silent alarm button that summons henchmen to the hospital wing. Wife proceeding to fight off the henchmen and escaping through the window
  • A very Serious Conversation about how thinks will work out, about what wife said to hero, etc. 
  • Villain and hero dreaming about their future together, which turns into a nice dance ending number, complete with a scorned ex-wife as a nice cliffhanger at the end.
  • Which means happy duets
  • ALL THE DUETS
  • Henchmen and scientists with bigger parts holy shit give it to me

agoddamnrayeofsunshine  asked:

Family AU, the kids meet Shiro's (evil) ex and defend their daddy Keith. (I just really want to see these precious babies turning into attack dogs when someone insults their parents you've done a lot where the kids get made fun of for their daddies and I just really want to see them stand up for their family)

I just couldn’t resist this one tbh. I JUST HAVE TO. The babies standing up for their Daddy Keith is the reason why I am alive. OTL

Previously: Shiro and his ex-girlfriend meet.

[The Voltron Family] This was right after that meeting with Shiro’s ex. The kids were in Toys R Us because their daddies were at the appliance corner paying for stuff. They were allowed to get one toy that day and so Lance, Pidge and Hunk were on a hunt.

Lance: Hunk, you think Daddy Shiro will allow me to get this? I like the blue lion. *shows him a blue lion toy*
Hunk: *takes it* It is nice. Well, they did say one toy, right? You sure about this already?
Lance: *pouts* *stares at the toy* I dunno. Maybe I’ll look more.
Pidge: I already got mine. *shows UNO cards* I’m going to defeat Daddy Shiro and Daddy Keith with this one.
Lance: *giggles* I heard about that game. You’re so evil, Pidge.

Suddenly a lady decided to join them.

Rea: Are you by any chance Shiro’s kids?
Pidge: *eyes the newcomer* ……..Yes. 
Lance: *gapes* Oh hello, pretty lady. *pushes up his hair*
Hunk: *grabs Pidge and Lance’s hands* Daddy Keith said not to talk to strangers. I’m sorry, lady miss, but my siblings and I have to go.
Rea: *scoffs* Typical of Keith to say that. Always unsociable. He never changed since then. 
Hunk: *stops* *turns back* What did you just say?
Rea: *smirks* I’m your Dad’s ex-girlfriend.
Pidge: Daddy Keith’s? *raises an eyebrow*
Lance: *tilts head* That’s weird. He said Daddy Shiro is his first. 
Rea: Oh my god. *disgusted face* NOT KEITH, NO. Not in a million years. 
Pidge: What do you mean? *frowns*
Rea: I’d never go for that guy! He’s so boring. *rolls eyes* I’m Shiro’s ex-girlfriend.
Hunk: *clenches fist* What did you just say about Daddy Keith?
Rea: He’s still exactly as I remember him back in college. Always sticking his nose in a book. I honestly don’t get what Shiro saw in him.
Lance: *stomps and points* Hey, lady! Listen here. I don’t know who you are but don’t you dare talk about Daddy Keith that way.
Rea: How adorable. Daddy Keith. He lets you call him that? He should’ve been Mommy, don’t you think so? More fitting for him. *chuckles*
Pidge: *crosses arms* You’re just jealous cause you didn’t end up with Daddy Shiro. He chose Daddy Keith over you. *sticks tongue out*
Rea: Oh, please. I can tell you’re not even their biological kids cause they can’t produce one. He could have one with me but no he just—
Hunk: *steps up* What is wrong with you? *looks up* So what if we’re adopted kids? So what if Daddy Keith loves reading books? So what if they can’t produce babies because they’re both boys? So what? 
Rea: *blinks* *taken aback*
Lance: *holds Hunk’s hand* Hunk…
Hunk: At the end of the day, Daddy Shiro married Daddy Keith and not you. I don’t know what you and Daddy Shiro had back then but I’m glad he didn’t choose you to be our mommy because Daddy Keith is the best and I love him. Lance and Pidge loves him. Most of all, Daddy Shiro loves him a lot and they’re happy. We’re happy. So don’t talk about my Daddy that way because you don’t know him.
Lance and Pidge: *squeezes Hunk’s hands* 
Lance: I take it back, you’re an ugly lady.
Pidge: I don’t really like you. *glares* And obviously Daddy Shiro didn’t too.
Lance: That’s right!
Pidge: Go suck an egg!
Lance: *shock* *looks at Pidge* *covers mouth with one hand* *scandalized*
Pidge: *drags Lance and Hunk away* We’re leaving.
Hunk: I’m sorry I kinda blew off there. *frowns*
Pidge: That’s okay, Hunk. No one talks crap about our Daddy. *hugs*
Lance: *nods* YOU RIGHT, PIDGE. *joins the hug*
Hunk: *teary eyes* I just hate it when people judge Daddy Keith.
Pidge: *frowns* Me, too. And he’s so nice.
Keith: *arrives* *sees Hunk* Baby, why are you crying? *bends down*
Hunk: *turns to hug Keith tight* *sniffs* I love you.
Keith: *touched* *caresses Hunk’s back* I love you too.
Lance and Pidge: *hugs Keith too* Me too!!! 
Shiro: *arrives with the purchased stuff* Oh, what’s happening? *smiles* Why wasn’t I informed of this group hug?
Lance: It’s the I-Love-Daddy-Keith Group Hug.
Shiro: *chuckles* Then I should definitely be in it. *joins*
Hunk: *whispers to Shiro* I’m happy you chose Daddy Keith.
Shiro: *looks at Hunk* *surprised* *slowly smiles* Me too, sweetheart. Me, too. *kisses Hunk’s cheek*