evil manifestos

  • me: *opens a copy of the communist manifesto*
  • the introduction: everything in this book is wrong. marx was evil and stole my mint-condition obelisk the tormentor in 6th grade. marxism is bad and you shouldn't even bother reading this. here are some FACTS about why marx was wrong, proving that ive never read anything the man ever wrote, except MAYBE this manifesto that he hurriedly and unsuccessfully attempted to finish in his 20s before he even had a chance to really develop his ideas yet. all of his predictions were wrong. he had nothing useful to say ever, and this is proven by the fact that bourgeois theorists disagree with his findings, and no it totally has nothing to do with class interests or anything like that. anyway, heres the [EVIL] communist manifesto
8

This is the manifesto of Mother Monster… On G.O.A.T, a Goverment Owned Alien Territory in space. A birth of magnificent and magical proportions took place, but the birth was not finite. It was infinite. As the whombs numbered and the mitosis of the future began, It was perceived that this infamous moment in life is not temporal. It is eternal. And thus began the beginning of the new race, a race within the race of humanity, a race which bears no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom. But on that same day as the eternal mother hovered in the multiverse, another more terrifying birth took place. The birth of evil and as she herself split into two rotating in agony between two ultimate forces. The pendulum of choice began its dance, It seems easy, you imagine, To gravitate instantly and unwaveringly towards good. But she wondered “How can I protect something so perfect without evil?”