evil benny


-Anon request

“Hey, Benny,” you greeted your friend as you found him waiting by your locker. opening said locker to grab your physics textbook, you gave a side glance and had to bite down hard on your lip to stop yourself from jumping him right then and there, because-

He was wearing a fucking leather jacket!

“Hey there, Y/N,” he drawled, leaning back against the neighbouring locker and from the corner of your eye, you could see him raking his eyes up and down your figure. Blushing, you remembered that you’d worn denim shorts and a tight tank top today- it was hot summer- and turned to face him, clutching your books to your chest.

“I’ve got Physics now, do you wanna meet at lunch?” you proposed.

With a wicked smirk on his face -that made you want to do all manner of dirty things with those lips- he replied, “Well, I was more thinking you could skip Physics and we’d go…some place else,” he said the last bit while taking a step closer to you and playing with the accessory dog tags around your neck.

“Umm,” you mumbled, flushing scarlet at his forwardness and chewed down on your lip while you thought, what the hell is he doing? What’s gotten into Benny?

“I think that’s a yes you’re looking for,” he murmured into your ear, warm breath making you shiver and your heart flutter. You felt his warm hand slide around your hip and pull you closer to you as he whispered, “Because I know you want me and if you skip class and come with me now, I will make sure that you’re screaming my name by the end of today.”

Aghast at this uncharacterism, especially from Benny- no matter how hot-, you shoved him away and spat, “You can fuck off if you think I’m that easy.”


You turned to see- Benny?- coming towards you (sans leather jacket, sigh) with an anger in his eyes you’d never seen before.

Squeezing your hand comfortingly as he brushed past you, he marched right up to the other Benny in the -thankfully- deserted corridor and landed him one right in the face. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hands as you saw leather jacket-less Benny kick other Benny hard in the stomach, then dive down to grab something from his pocket.

Straightening back up again, he had a photograph in his hand and clicked the fingers of his other hand to spark a small flame which he alighted the photo with. As the glossy paper burned, so did the Benny on the ground and you and the -good?- Benny were left alone.

“W-what?” you blurted out before Benny was in front of you and asking you concernedly if you were OK and if the other Benny hurt you. “Benny, I-I’m fine, just confused really. What the hell’s going on? Why were there two of you?”

“Umm, probably a conversation for another time,” he dismissed awkwardly, before shooting you that infamous goofy smile.

Sigh. You definitely preferred that cheesy, genuine smile to the wicked smirk of a dickbag in a leather jacket.

Legion Writers probably:

Give David a best friend

Not romantically tho

Let’s go with Aubrey Plaza

Yes she’s amazing

She’s rocking yes

Let the audience love her

They’ll love her because she’s so blunt

“Why are the hot ones so crazy”

Let’s “fake” kill her

“Don’t give a newbie a bazooka and act surprised when she blows shit up”

What is reality really?!

Let’s bring her back only in Davids mind

Let’s make a her villainy

Whoa what?!?

She’s not being cool

Lenny is Benny

Lenny is everything

Is it all a lie??

Aubrey Plaza is killing it

Lenny a parasite

Don’t do it Lenny

Wth is going on??!?!

Not cool Lenny not cool

Lenny please stop

But they’ll still love Lenny’s craziness

Lenny why

Lenny no

Aubrey YES

I’m so confused

I’m am living

But Lenny…

The Monster Arrives

Benny & Sunrise

This was requested by @jonnyarcher!

Word Count: 261

Warnings: fluff

(gif is not mine)

“Benny it’s so early,” you whined as Benny dragged you out of the house.  “What could possibly be this important?”  Benny had woken you up at five thirty in the morning.  He handed you your robe and rushed you out of the house and into the backyard.

When you got outside, there was breakfast on the picnic table in the backyard.  You felt guilty for being so cranky.  It was sweet of Benny to make you breakfast, but why so early?

“I thought ya might like a nice breakfast,” Benny smiled, brushing off your grumpy attitude.  “S’all for you [Y/N], made by yours truly.”  Benny sat you down at the picnic table and took his place beside you.

“Thank you Benny, this looks wonderful,” you hummed, pressing a kiss to his cheek.  “Is there a reason why you dragged me out of bed to eat breakfast in the backyard?”

“I didn’t want you to miss the sunrise,” Benny said with a warm tone to his voice.  “You hunters don’t take the time to slow down.  Ya gotta enjoy the beautiful things in life darlin’.  The world can be a beautiful place.  Ya just gotta take the time to look.”

As you finished your breakfast, you looked at the sky.  Benny was right, the sunrise was breathtaking.  The sky was a combination of colors and the moon was barely visible in the sky.  The world was quiet and seemingly innocent.  For the first time in a long time you saw the world as bright and beautiful instead of dark and miserable.

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Benny & Safe

This was requested by @jonnyarcher!

Word Count: 526

Warnings: none

(gif is not mine)

Benny tried to not make it a habit to follow you when you went on hunts alone.  He trusted you and your abilities.  He didn’t trust the other monsters out there.  Especially the ones who wanted to hurt him.  They knew who you were and he only wanted to protect you.  This was his way of protecting you without cutting you out of his life.

It was late at night and you were the only one at the gas station.  There was a clerk inside, but she was tweeting away on her phone and paying no attention to you.  It was quiet and peaceful.  You could hear the crickets in the field across from the gas station.

You were suddenly blinded by a pair of headlights.  The familiar noise of Benny’s truck engine made you smile.  What happened next didn’t make you smile.  He charged out of his truck and left his engine running.  He had a stake in his hand as he ran up to you.

Benny shoved you behind him and drove the stake through the vampire that was right behind you.  You didn’t even know that the vampire was there in the first place.  She looked like the clerk from inside.

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Gather ‘round, kiddies, it’s story time!  Because I think I’ve found my favorite gangster-related anecdote in The Last Testament of Lucky Luciano

Once upon a time, when Meyer Lanksy was trying to become a naturalized citizen in a quiet, respectful manner, his friends followed him to the Courthouse…

“We walked into this big room and there’s a whole bunch of people there. … Frank, Benny, Joe, Vito and me spotted Lansky standin’ in the back, tryin’ to look nonchalant and superior. … We sneaked up behind Meyer and Benny Siegel whispers in his ear, 'Hey, Lansky, I can fix ya up with that broad–the blonde one over there.  I hear her old man owns half of Delancey Street,’ and he points at this blonde girl standin’ over near the window with her father and mother.  She was about eighteen, but she weighed about three hundreed pounds which is about three times as much as Meyer weighed soakin’ wet.

"I’ve seen Lansky pretty mad in my lifetime, but even when he was knockin’ a guy off, he was never as sore as that minute.  With just one move, he kicked Bugsy right in the balls and then grabbed his mouth so he couldn’t yell and make too much noise.  A couple minutes later, Meyer walked out holdin’ his naturalization papers and Benny was holdin’ his balls.”

The men who will be running a country-wide organized crime syndicate in a few years, everybody.

Dear Boardwalk Empire–you can make all of Season Five about the tedium of Narcisse and Florida if you want.  Just fudge timelines and film.  That.  Scene.