i hate this
i hate what we are now
i hate that we lost what we once were
i hate that everything is so different now
i hate that it feels like nothing will ever be the same again
i hate that you were once my everything
and now it feels like i’m nothing to you
i hate that i have to beg you for a conversation
not even a conversation
i hate hat i have to beg you just to text me back
a one word reply is all i need
because at least you’ll be talking to me
i hate that i’m begging you for the bare minimum
the same way i hate that i had to beg you not to leave me
i hate that you left anyway
i hate that you won’t text back anyway
i hate that i keep trying
i hate that i can’t stop myself from trying
from deluding myself into believing that everything will be okay
that i’ll be okay
i hate that i can’t move on the way you did
i hate that i can’t mask my emotions the way you do
i hate that i can’t get over it the way you did
i hate that everything reminds me of you
i hate that you exist everywhere
in my morning cup of coffee
in my sock drawer
in my home
in my phone
in my laptop
in my memories, both literal and digital
wherever i turn there you are, and i hate that
i hate that i can’t sleep because i dream about you
i hate that you only love me in my dreams
i hate that you keep pushing me away
even though you said you still wanted to be friends
i hate that what you want and what you need eclipses my own wants and needs
and i hate that i’m just letting you treat me this way
i hate that i’m letting you make me feel so horrible
i hate that i can’t stop missing you
i hate that i can’t stop thinking about you
i hate that i can’t stop staring at my phone, just hoping you’ll talk to me
i hate that i keep wasting my 11:11 wishes on you
i hate that i can’t stop
i hate myself for still loving you
i think the only thing i don’t hate is you (cc, 2017)
Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.
Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.
A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.
Miles To Go- AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’
Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU
Of Love and Loathing- a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut
“I have been sleeping with someone,” Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, “whom I absolutely loathe.” •Emma/Regina•
Meet me Halfway- one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU
Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn’t normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?
Love Undefined- in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.
It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.
Teacher’s Pet- KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ.
Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.
Lost in Translation- i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.
AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.
Send Up a Signal- emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)
Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas.
Reset- SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you.
Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.
Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)
AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she’s a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.
The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!
Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase’s base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)
the trouble with emma- very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)
Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina’s.
Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.
the wicked stepmother- the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.
When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter… but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.
in control - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.
the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma’s history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.
Emma has been desperate to know what it’s like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn’t seem to be enough.
tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff’s heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.
come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina’s plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.
black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting’ rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma’s attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn’t intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..
dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor’s mind?
damn you, miss swan- Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone’s back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don’t be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn’t canon then.
mirror tricks- The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.
my enemy’s enemy- After her mother’s death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch’s belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma…if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)
to remember her happy ending - “She doesn’t even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!” She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn’t her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.
for endings are where we begin - Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.
the loudest silence -New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU
broken - 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father’s expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM
bring her home - Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina’s door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.
if the blazer fits - Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.
a fine line- Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.
a pale imitation- Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can’t take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn’t stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)
one fine mess- Regina’s gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. “You’re pregnant?” she whispered grimly. Emma’s only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy
coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.
all the single ladies - With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.
step into my office, baby - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they’re in an office.
teaching miss mills - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE
troubled teachers- COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38
not a virgin anymore- When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she’s very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills’s bed.
is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.
butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only… she doesn’t expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen
a sophisticated seduction - Emma’s a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)
some other faves
down east decisions- Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She’s hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.
that drunken night- Emma’s wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn’t as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)
chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny’s magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.
so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma’s fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that’s rapidly threatening to become text.
And at last I see the light, And it’s like the fog has lifted. And at last I see the light, And it’s like the sky is new. And it’s warm and real and bright, And the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different, Now that I see you.
Aries: Ariel - Kiss the Girl ~ “Yes you want her- look at her, you know you do, and it’s possible she wants you too. There’s one way to ask her, it don’t take a word, not a single word… Go on and kiss the girl.”
Taurus: Cinderella - So This is Love? ~ “So this is love? So this is what makes life divine- I’m all aglow, and now I know the key to all heaven is mine.”
Gemini: Pocahontas - Just Around the River Bend ~ “Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming for a handsome sturdy husband who builds handsome sturdy walls, and never dreams that something might be coming?”
Cancer: Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast ~ “Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends unexpectedly. Just a little change, small to say the least- both a little scared, neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast.”
Leo: Princess and the Frog - Never Knew I Needed ~ “My accidental happily ever after, the way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter. I must admit you were not a part of my book, but now if you open it up and take a look you’re the beginning and the end of every chapter… You’re the best thing I never knew I needed.”
Libra: Sleeping Beauty - Once upon a Dream ~ “I know you- the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam, yet I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem. But if I know you I know what you’ll do- you’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.”
Virgo: The Lion King - Can You Feel the Love Tonight? ~ “Can you feel the love tonight; the peace the evening brings? The world, for once, in perfect harmony with all its living things.“
Scorpio: Pocahontas - If I Never Knew You ~ “If I never knew you, if I never felt this love, I would have no inkling of how precious life can be. And if I never knew you, I would never have a clue, how at last I’d find in you the missing part of me.”
Sagittarius: Aladdin - A Whole New World ~ “I can show you the world; shining, shimmering splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?“
Capricorn: Tangled - I See the Light ~ “And at last I see the light, and it’s like the sky is new. And it’s warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted; all at once everything is different now that I see you.”
Aquarius: Hercules - I Won’t Say ~ “Get off my case I won’t say it, (Girl don’t be proud it’s okay you’re in love), At least out loud I won’t say I’m in love.”
Pisces: Toy Story - When She Loved Me ~ “Through the summer and the fall, we had each other that was all- just she and I together like it was meant to be. And when she was lonely I was there to comfort her, and I knew that she loved me.”
Not a diet. Diet implies temporary, and what we need to do is form a set of new, sustainable habits for the rest of our life.
A lot of you probably have a daydream of taking a black, billowy trash bag and planning a SWAT-style assault on your fridge and cupboards and then setting fire to the dumpster you hurl it into. Naturally, you’ll dash over to the grocery store and purchase a ton of strange-looking foods you don’t regularly eat, or never eat! Then you’ll slap on a pair of shiny new shoes and go run a 5K. This works for–some people. Honestly, few people.
The reality for many people; however, is they get off their foray after a few weeks. Why is that?
Think about it. How long did it take you to really get into the groove of your current habits? Months? Years? If you’re trying to simultaneously kiss soda and chip’s ass good-bye, change every bite of food you eat, and start a fitness routine. Guess what? Stress, stress, stress! Your stomach was used to those portion sizes (whether too large or too small) and some of your favorite snacks, your brain is literally addicted to it. A lot of people will reach nuclear meltdown levels trying to transition to a healthy lifestyle this way.
Just like it took you time to form your current habits, it’s going to take some time to form your new habits. I truly do empathize with the feelings of wanting everything to be different right now, but realistically we can only handle a certain amount of stressors and change at one time.
Start With Nutrition Habits: While I really would recommend finding a few cheeky ways to get more active, you’ve probably heard some variant of “can’t outrun your fork,” or “it’s 80% nutrition.” Well, it really is true. Being more active is absolutely crucial to improving overall health in the “endgame,” but we’re still playing the “tutorial” and the dietary aspects of our lifestyle change are the bulk of the impact. It goes beyond that, though. I’ve written more about it here, but being a beginner can be genuinely hard at times! It takes a lot of time and effort to get oneself to a point where they can physically and mentally handle what entails “regular, moderate exercise.” One part of making that transition easier will be better nutrition and hydration.
Start With an Easy Target: I always tell people if they drink a lot of soda, juice, or sweetened tea/coffee to start here. Sugar provides us pretty much no nutrition and removing the pulp from fruit makes juice not that great for us, either. Drinking more water is not negotiable and replacing these beverages with water will do a surprising amount of good for how you feel–all by itself. I recognize how hard this one can be to kick, but sweetened beverages really do load many people’s lifestyles with a lot of bad juju.
If you don’t have a beverage problem, maybe you do have a condiment/dressing problem and can reduce the quantities and find alternatives. Maybe you party-hardy a little too much and need to cut down on alcohol. While I said “easy target,” no one said it would be that easy, but you probably have an idea where most of these so called “empty” nutrients are coming from.
Transition Bad Habits a Few at a Time: The opening of this probably already made it clear, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. You probably have an idea of what some of your most problematic habits are, so choose one; maybe two, and see how you adjust over a week or two before considering the next step.
Small Swaps: Start switching out various items in your pantries, fridges, and lunchboxes with simple alternatives. Change white breads, rices, and pastas to brown. Take the bag of chips from your lunch and turn it into a few servings of seasonal fruit and vegetables. Pick out a leaner cut of meat and use a little less dairy, if you eat them. Little changes can have massive results.
Learn Moderation: Remember that whole sustainable part at the very beginning? Our lifestyles do need to reflect our real lives. Well, my real life has a love of chocolates, pastries, and candies. So, it’s not realistic for me to say “no chocolate, pastries, or candies.” Food molarity can be a pretty toxic outlook on eating and life in general. Instead of labeling foods as “bad,” just learn and respect the limits. There are times where you have to say, “enough, is enough,” but living in a constant state of “no” is not realistic or mentally healthy for most people. It’s OK to love indulgent food. Think about how long your life is going to be. So, now think about how dinky an occasional treat will be in retrospect.
Depending on Your Struggles, Consider Therapy: As we know, many aspects of unhealthy eating habits are actually unhealthy mental habits. Depending on the severity and exact nature of those problems, never be embarrassed to seek professional help. I struggled with stress eating and even binge eating for most of my adolescence, and finally getting help for my anxiety disorder played a pretty crucial role in improving both my physical and mental health. If it’s not a possibility at this time, consider journaling.
Walk Before Your Run: Literally and figuratively. I’m going to recommend this previous post I recently wrote again, but when you’ve gotten a few habits cracked and feel like you’re ready to start amping up your activity, start with low impact and low equipment exercises. If it has been years, or if you’ve never exercised, it takes some easing into it. I recommend walking to all beginners because we already know how to do it, have what we need to do it, and probably won’t hurt ourselves.
So, there you have it. Tackle small challenges and get your body acclimated to them before you consider some of the overarching and holistic goals you have for your lifestyle. That said, we’re all different. If you still want to try and do that 180-flip, I can’t stop you and some people are successful that way. No two people or personality types have the exact same problems or strategy for overcoming them. However, if you’ve gotten frustrated and thrown in the towel a time or two, consider the scope of change and how to realistically implement it over a period of time. We didn’t form our old habits overnight.
“All at once, everything is different, now that I see you…”
A little gift for you all since I can’t believe how amazing you all are?? ♡ ♡ The amount of love I’ve been receiving in the past few days was so overwhelming, really! ♡ Hope you can bear with me and this AU for a little longer! (●´□`)♡
Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam, (briefly), Jayden, Rae, Dani, & Bailey (OFCs briefly mentioned)
Warnings: pre-smut, language, fluff
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: So, this story is rooted in my own personal experience at 25. Obviously the guy wasn’t Dean fucking Winchester, but oh if he had been. *whew* Thank you Mimi and Erin for helping me see the issues and get them resolved. I know that a lot of you have been EAGERLY anticipating this fic. I REALLY hope it doesn’t disappoint you. It got lengthy and a little out of control and WILL have one more part. - I know it’s an HOUR LATE. SORRY!
Summary: You were a good girl. You went off to a private Christian college because you knew there was a bad girl waiting to be set free. You wanted a career, so you made a choice. You went away. You didn’t smoke. Didn’t drink until you were 21. No bars until you were 23. Didn’t have sex until you were in love, or at least you thought you were in love. You’ve always liked who you are, but there was a pretty distinct shift when you were 25. Five friends. One guy. One piano. One drink. One bar. Everything changed. You’re different now, and you’re certain you’ll never forget that leather jacket or those green eyes. Jan. 24th, 2012. The day Dean Winchester rolled through town.
Walking down the hall after hearing your tape was hard. Hannah was your best friend and though she didn’t say anything bad about you, it was still hard knowing you were a reason why she did what she did. Nothing felt the same, the nothing looked the same. Everything was different now.
“Y/N!” You heard. You stopped in your tracks at the sound of Justin’s voice.
You were Justin’s ex after Hannah and before Jessica. The break up was hard on you because you thought he actually cared. You were wrong. Though now he knew since Hannah took it amongst herself to make sure he knew. Yes you were grateful but you were mortified at the fact of everyone knowing.
“What do you want, Justin?” You sighed. “Can we talk?” He asked. “No, we can’t. Jessica is waiting for you.” You snapped. “Please, Y/N. I just want to talk.” He begged. You looked at him for a moment before giving in.
“Fine. Whatever.” You said. You followed him warily into the empty gym.
“Did you listen to your tape?” He asked. “Yep. Even in death Hannah is still looking out for me.” You chuckled. “Was what she said true? Were you in love with me?” He asked, getting right to the point. “After everything that’s happened you still think she’s liar?” You scoffed.
“No, it’s just-can you please answer the question?” He asked. “Yes, Justin. I did love you. I thought you were different but you’re just like every other guy.” You snapped. “Y/N have you ever thought of listening to my side of the story?” Justin asked, his voice getting louder.
You ran your fingers through your hair, looking down at your feet. ‘Don’t let him see you cry.’ You thought to yourself. “Your side of the story doesn’t even matter anymore. You broke my heart and didn’t even bother to help me pick up the pieces. You left me alone. I mean did you even care?” You yelled.
“Did I care? Of course I cared, Y/N. I still care. For christ sake, I love you.” He replied. The whole room went silent. You looked up at him, tears still welling in your eyes.
“W-what?” You stuttered. “I love you, Y/N. Always have and probably always will.” Justin said. “But what about Jessica?” You asked him. “I broke up with her this morning. Being with her didn’t feel right. Not even close to how it felt being with you.” He answered.
Before you say anything, you go back to what Hannah said in your tape.
“Y/N Y/L/N, I love you and you are my best friend which is why I’m doing this for you. Justin Foley was a narcissistic ass to everyone at Liberty High. Until he met you. You love him. He fills the void your parents left when they dropped you off at a foster home. You’re in love with him. And no matter how much it pains me to see you love a dick like him, you need him. So go get him.”
You look back to Justin and before your brain could even respond to the rest of your body, your lips were already on his. Instantly, Justin kissed back.
“I need you, Y/N” He said when the two of you pulled apart. “I need you too.”
you like knb? I just went through your knb tag and you seem to have drawn/even cosplayed for it ! wow! what are your ships? will you be drawing for the movie that came out ?
MAN, like is a very mild word for how big my KnB phase was, and it’s definitely one of those fandoms I always go back to, and MAN was the movie a slap to the face of nostalgia and wonderful memories ;A;. I didn’t produce much content for it back in the day, I didn’t have much time to draw in general back then, but I wanted to try again now that my art’s changed a bit and:
Something like that <3
Yep! I cosplayed a TON of characters from it. Originally I wanted to cosplay Kuroko or a member of GoM, but instead I ended up wanting to match my friends so I cosplayed Takao, Himuro, Momoi, Kagami, and Nijimura >.>;;;; I ended up much fonder of these characters as a result tho LOL
and MAN, SHIPS. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHA
If you thought my Yuuri poly shipping was bad…look at it this way, I mainly ship Yuuri with 4-5 husbands, and why not throw in the rest occasionally, the more the merrier right? This is around the number I tend to ship many of my fandom protags with (which is still a lot oops).
But KUROKO. Kuroko to me is the ultimate harem queen. To me, he has, minimum, EIGHT husbands. GoM + Kagami + Takao + Himuro. But I also ship him with a ton of other charas on the side like Kasamatsu, Nijimura, Hanamiya, Haizaki, Mayuzumi, Imayoshi, Miyaji…man the list is endless. I LEGITMATELY SHIP KUROKO WITH EVERYONE. (and Nash! my mother screams in the background…)
I started out with a strong bias for AoKuro that still remains on occasion, but reading a massive amount of pixiv fics started leaning me heavily towards Takao. So yeah, if I had to pick one, TakaKuro is my fav now. I also really like HiGuro (Himuro x Kuroko). But really, and most sincerely, THE MORE THE MERRIER.
KnB is also awesome bc it has so many wonderful Kuroko-centric combinations. I’m more partial to shipping certain characters when they’re in a set, and man the pixiv names for these are so great :’D. Fav combos include Light Sandwich (Aomine x Kuroko x Kagami), Aibou-gumi/partner squad (Takao, Himuro, Kasamatsu, occasionally Mayuzumi -> Kuroko), Rival sandwich (Takao x Kuroko x Kise), Demon King Sandwich (Akashi x Kuroko x Himuro), Hawk ‘n Dragon Sandwich (Takao x Kuroko x Himuro), Black-Hearted Sandwich (Hanamiya x Kuroko x Imayoshi), Captain Sandwich (Nijimura x Kuroko x Akashi), Highlighter Sandwich (Akashi x Kuroko x Midorima), Returnee Sandwich (Kagami x Kuroko x Himuro), of course all their respective schools, the combinations are endless…*dreamy sigh*
*COUGHS* ANYWAY. YEAH. KNB IS POLY SHIPPING HEAVEN.
(other than Kuroko-centric? I didn’t ship him with Seirin (other than Kagami) too much, tho I certainly don’t mind it, and I very lowkey shipped Kiyoshi + Riko + Hyuuga + Izuki as a poly 4some)
Will I be drawing for the new movie? Well it certainly brought all my feels tumbling back ^ ^; But at the same time I can’t really draw for more than one fandom at a time without getting distracted, and in general there is SO MUCH CONTENT I LOVE in KnB that going on Pixiv often satisfies me, unlike the frustration/craving for something that doesn’t exist I get with YOI ^ ^;; But at the same time, now that my art skills have improved a ton, I sorta want to draw one illustration that has all my fav Kuroko husbands just all crammed in…sighhhhh we’ll see ^ ^;;