everything-or-nothing

Why does one begin to write? Because she feels misunderstood, I guess. Because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. Because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost. Because it’s something to do to pass the time until she is old enough to experience the things she writes about.
—  Nicole Krauss, The History of Love
Not Fun Symptoms of BPD

- I can’t feel anything looks like it’s time to do something self destructive

- I feel physically ill because of my emotions

- Is it possible to feel every emotion at once because WOW

- no no no please don’t split please don’t

- everything going well in your life? Time to Fuck Things Up

- I feel nothing I feel everything I feel nothing I feel

Rec: Established Relationship Part 2

Here are some more for you guys! Suggestions welcome. 

Masterpost

+ - fic is mature/explicit

* - fic is incomplete


Multichapter:

*+ Scandalous Behaviors by BregoBeauty

*+ Alignment by Kylos_Princess

*+ Of The Same Feather by writing2savelives

*+ When You’ve Come Undone by iamladyloki

* What it could have been by ReyloRadar

*+ K-1 by RachelZimon

*+ In Short Order by pontmercy44

*+ Everything and Nothing at All by Anne_Rackham

*+ in my head by kyoloren


Series:

+ The Soul Meets Body Series by iliveinthemoon

+ The Every Dirty Trick in the Book series by Avdal

+ The Crossroads series by nymja

+ The Reylo shots series by Caffeine_addict


Oneshots:

+ In Threes by mmmmchinesefood

+ it’s enough to make you go crazy by kuresoto

In Other Words by royal_chandler

+ Skin to Skin by ReyloRobyn2011

+ Leave Order by nightsofreylo

+ your skin that I’m sinkin’ in by t0bemadeofglass

+ not my time to wonder why by t0bemadeofglass

+ Hands to Myself by Avdal

At peace by Shayster

Drift by KFawkes

+ Christmas kittens and Life Changing Questions by Plutoascending91

Snow by punkeraa

+ Home is Wherever You Are by iamladyloki

+ bodyache, or the audacity of happiness by davidfincher

+ Rose of Jericho by shieldmaidenofdarkness

+ The Streets are Aglow Come Midnight by Smol_Stressed_Bunny

+ All I Gave You Is Gold by WaterlilyRose

Ink by OccasionallyCreative

Side Effects of Democracy May Include by Selkit

+ Deep Velvet Night by Kit2000andAnna

+ The Laser Razor, the Force and Balance by Kit2000andAnna

Never The Same

Muses: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst


———————————


He said sorry, and I accepted it. He explained, and I listened.


But I noticed him being more touchy. We were never like we used to. He keeps on holding my hand, kissing me on my forehead or on my cheeks, hugging me and whispering ‘I love yous’. I mean, don’t get me wrong. He was all these things even before. But now, it feels different. I can’t feel the sincerity anymore. Like, he is only doing these things to make up for what he did.


I lost my Yoongi because of that mistake. And I know he’s sorry, but I still can’t bring my fucking self to forget it. To forget everything.



I can’t take it. I swallowed everything as if nothing happened. As if I didn’t know the things he said and did. I know that he feels that there’s still something wrong between us. He’s trying to fix it.


But something like this can’t be fixed. Even if he tries to fix this. Nothing’s going to change. It’s like a broken mirror. No matter how hard you try to fix it and put it back together, the cracks will still show. And you’ll just end up hurting more.


I lost myself because of that mistake as well.



I love him. But every time I look at him, I can hear him saying those words, choosing someone else. Saying that he almost had sex with someone. I know that Yoongi explained his side already, but that’s not enough really. But I can’t say that to him. I can’t tell him that up until now, it still hurts. It still hurts so bad. But I know it will take time.



“Love, what would you like to eat?” he asked me while playing with my fingers. We’re here at the living room of the dorm, watching. Well actually, I’m the only one watching. Yoongi on the other hand is watching…me.


“Ahh.. I’m not hungry.” I answered coldly. I’m already full. Full with pain and fed up with lies. I’m on the verge of exploding.


He nodded and stood up. He went to the table. I followed him with my eyes, he was making a sandwich…. Tuna sandwich. Since when did he start eating foods with mayonnaise? I thought to myself. He also went to the refrigerator and got himself some pickles, wait, he’s also eating that?


Then it hit me, a few days ago we had lunch with Jin, he ate vegetables. Maybe I was too pre-occupied with my thoughts, or I’m just trying to block everything about him. He used to hate eating vegetables. I always have a hard time making him eat those. I guess I didn’t see it at all, but he’s changing.


Change is constant in our world. That’s the only thing that won’t change. And in our relationship, yes we’re still together but it’s just not the same anymore.


———————————————

Yoongi kept on talking non-stop. But it seems like I can’t understand anything.


“Yah! Y/N.” he poked me on my side which brought me back to reality.


I looked at him.


“Are you even listening?” He asked me


“What was that again?”


“Ah, I said I was going out on the weekend.” he said


"Where are you going?”


“Uh, just going to get a few drinks with the boys. Is it okay?” he was asking for my permission. I usually don’t mind him going out and getting some drinks with the boys. But he didn’t invite me anymore. I know, it’s not good to be always around him. But he used to always ask me to come with them, saying that he won’t be able to enjoy that much because I won’t be there and he’ll just end up thinking about me.


Taehyung was standing behind the couch, facing me. He had a blank expression on his face but you can see the sadness in his eyes. Tae knows how hard it is for me to trust Yoongi again. And he keeps on talking to me about it.



I don’t want to allow him. I don’t know why. But I don’t want to. You can’t blame me. Even if we fight about this he can’t go, he will not go. I’m sorry boys, but I won’t allow Yoongi.




“Of course. You can go.” I said.

——————————————————-


Part 3/??


So how was it so far??? lol I hope you guys like it haha. I’m a sucker for angst and for overthinking 😂


but anyways!! hit me some feed backs love. tyyyy xx

Life is strange: Superpowers/abilities matching their characters

Max Caulfield: Reverse time (duh).

Chloe Price: Fly.

Rachel Amber: Is able to get into someones mind and convince them of things. They don’t know this; they think their thoughts are genuine.

Nathan Prescott: Telepathy.

Kate Marsh: Heals everything she touches.

Victoria Chase: Is straight-ass a witch.

Warren Graham: A mega-genius. Can access every single one of his neurons whenever he wants to recall information.

Mark Jefferson: Kills everything he touches.

David Madsen: Nothing else and nothing more than a ninja.

William Price: Can transfer emotions with his touch.

Joyce Price: Thinks of a food and it appears lmao.

Brooke Scott: Telekinesis.


Feel free to add or suggest one!

anonymous asked:

but who ends up being the alpha of alphas? im picturing ignis, who's certainly the most patient of the lot, taking his turn last, pampering noct so fully and so completely and wiping him clean of all the others messes, maybe even fucking him in the en-suites bath, and loving him so completely its his seed that takes.

On the one hand I suppose it’s cya, so it depends in the story outcome/the votes.

On the other hand! Everything is Ignoct and Ignoct is everything, and I’m shameless transparent trash when it comes to who I think should get the prince in end soooo…. ;)

I sort of imagine Ignis lingering the while time, directing traffic and making sure everything goes well for Noctis/nothing gets out of hand, how ever long it takes the other alphas to exhaust themselves between Noctis and Prompto. And Noctis is a little grumpy and put out because everyone seems to want him but Ignis won’t even step into his room.

Until he does, to clean Noctis up, fuck him nice and slow, and give him the good cuddling he undoubtedly deserves after all of that.

anonymous asked:

how do you find pdf book? i’ve tried everything. thank you so much in advance c:

here, also, if you really tried everything and found nothing, then your book doesn’t have a digital version

Mmmm, look at all that barely passable CGI fire.  CGI is hard, guys.  It really is.  

YuanQi got super cool, what the heck.  The 小猴子 became 孙悟空.   Meanwhile, PingJing, you never even used your spear.  LOLL.  There are flame patterns on his helmet D:  Minor Chiyan callback?   

Get outta here, Empress.  Good guy, Emperor ;__;  GOOD GUY, FEIZHAN.

TingSheng, no. Stahp.   STOP SAYING THAT.  Seriously, the closer TingSheng gets to dying, the more awesome his speeches get.

EDIT:  I thought this episode would be fine.  I am not fine.  ABORT.  ABORT.  CAN WE GO BACK TO LIKE EPISODE 8 OR SOMETHING.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

helloo... i am someone whos ulted jonghyun for a long long time and i think this hate is ridiculous... it seems jungkook is a person similar to jonghyun in this way; jonghyun would get hate for basically breathing... like youd think the drama would die down after that brief moment of unity after his death, but what else can we expect of kpop fans at this point... for his sake, i hope hes going to be okay. he rather did this out of consideration rather than spite.

I definitely agree. If anything I truly see this as pure hypocrisy, everyone vouching for mental health awareness and unity after what happened with Jonghyun and now they do this? It’s almost as if everything that happened meant nothing to them. They’re now doing to Jungkook what they once did to Jonghyun and I just hope people can come to their senses soon and knock this shit out.

2

I’m late to the party due to Vancon, but oh, lookie –

13x03 Dean is wearing the exact same outfit from 9x06 - solid blue and black shirt/layers. Black = grief, sadness, depression; Blue = (in relation to Dean) Cas.

The one significant difference: Dean’s jacket. It’s trenchcoat Cas-coded (Dean channeling Cas via clothes - a recurring pattern on the show i.e. his 12x18 suit, Cas-coded tie, collared plaid after sleeping with a Cas-replacement waitress for the very last time). 


Also 

  • Berens penned both 9x06 and 13x03.
  • Jody and Missouri are present in 13x03
  • possible psychic readings (Dean as querent - exposition of his feelings/bargaining-depression-acceptance stages via tarot cards)
  • A Dean and Jody scene was filmed at a Gas n Sip.

What am I trying to say here? 

They’re using the past narrative to reinforce the present (bring subtext to text) aka building blocks!

9x06 was Destiel-infused – Pine tree air fresheners, “Big O”, Sun logo = Cas, the romantic dating tropes, the Buffy and Tony Manero/Annette parallels, the fanfiction gap, Misha acting like a jilted lover = Dean overall pining and taking Cas on a date because he missed him post-Bunker kick out. 

Well, I hope the audience gets some sort of explicit visual/vocal acknowledgement from Dean or an EXPOSITION regarding Dean’s feelings (remember the number 3? “Big reveal” pattern) where a comparison between 9x06 and 13x03 is made. 

9x06: Cas wasn’t dead but human vs. 13x03: Cas is perma-dead. In both episodes, Cas’ absence (profoundly) affects Dean.

@thetwistedwillow and I suggested – what if the Gas n Sip cashier reminds Dean of Cas? Perhaps Dean actually buys something, then his grief induces overlapping 9x06 flashbacks of Cas behind the counter. What if we observe him sifting through his 9x06 memories? What if Dean and Jody have an expositional talk? 

Ah, the possibilities!

I’m not saying they WILL do these things, but considering the matching outfits, environment, and circumstances, there’s a chance we’ll see a 9x06 reference when 13x03 airs.

*flails*

@sactownbrowns3 @amwritingmeta @tinkdw @weathergirl83 @magnificent-winged-beast @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow

One day I’ll look up at the sky and realize even up there you make my days shine bright; but not today.

He suffered from depression but always made sure we found comfort and healing through his songs. He suffered from insomnia and anxiety but that never stopped him from stepping onstage to perform for us. He fought for LGBT rights. He was an advocate for mental health. He loved his family, his members, his dog, his fans, his job. Lest we forget such a wonderful soul.

You’ve been so brave. You’ve done the best you could. You’ve done so well. I’m so proud of you. Thank you for everything. I feel nothing but love and appreciation for your contribution towards trying to make this world a better place for other people. I’m sorry you had to go this way. My heart goes out to jjong’s family, the SHINee members and my fellow Shawols. Thank you to the medical staff who tried their best to bring back our precious boy, and thank you to the police who responded to Sodam’s distress call, no matter how late. 수고했어요.

Thank you for everything, Jonghyun. We will continue to love you and we will continue to love SHINee. Rest well, rest easy.


“SHINee didn’t lose a member, they gained an angel”.

10

supernatural character aesthetics // castiel

“I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I’m hunted. I rebelled and I did it, all of it, for you. And you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world. And I lost everything for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.”

Airport Battle CACW

I rewatched the airport battle scene and counted up total damages Team Cap did to the Leipzig Airport (in chronological order because I’m cool!! XD). And an additional note, THAT WAS ALL GERMAN PROPERTY! Team Cap came in and trashed an international airport probably resulting in billions of damage costs! Tony came to negotiate and this is what Team Cap did (TO A FUCKING AIRPORT). And I actually care about laws, unlike Steve.

- Wanda dropped at least 15 civilians’ cars onto solid asphalt from about 7 stories high and those cars crashed through the steel bar/gate barriers

- Sam destroyed a help desk inside the terminal

- Steve and Scott helped each other enlarge that “water truck” and it smashed against the concrete and exploded

- Wanda used her magic to throw 2 trucks and something else (it looked like a concrete block or a ramp thing) at Peter

- Wanda used her magic to throw T’Challa into a jetway (severely denting it)

- Steve dropped an entire jetway onto Peter and used his shied to break a support pole

- Scott kicked a bus at T’Challa and Vision (the bus smashed into another truck and a car, also destroying them)

- Scott tore of the wing of an airplane

- Scott kicked two carts full of wooden boxes (probably cargo)

- Scott stepped on a truck

- Scott slapped Rhodey onto a jetway (denting it)

- Scott picked up the entire jetway and swung it at Rhodey, crushing it in the process

- Scott stepped on another truck

- Scott threw Peter onto a pile of wooden boxes (more cargo?)

- Steve and Bucky stole the jet thing and escaped (THAT IS AIRPORT PROPERTY)

- Scott smashed his arm onto the partly destroyed airplane

There’s way more, but that was all I got for now.


Now lets calculate this shit out.

15 cars Wanda dropped- The average cost of a car in 2016 is about $33,560. Now $33,560 times 15 is $503,400 (note that Wanda might have dropped more than 15 cars.

Airport help desk that Sam smashed (including merchandise in the desk)-I dunno how much a help desk is worth but I’ll add $1100 more onto the total costs (I’m being generous, do you have any idea how much window repairs cost)

2 trucks that Wanda thew at Peter-  average cost of a truck in 2016? About $39,000 or so. $39,000 times 2 is $78,000.

Truck Scott and Steve enlarged and exploded- Add $39,000 to damage costs.

Jetway that Wanda threw T’Challa in- This is the same jetway that Scott destroys later so it won’t be counted here.

Jetway Steve dropped on Peter plus the support pole he snapped- One jetway costs about $300,000. Support pole damage add $1000.

Bus that Scott kicked at T’Challa and Vision (the bus smashed into another truck and a car, also destroying them)- Buses costs about from $300,000 to $600,000 each so we’ll just add $500,000. Plus another $33,560 and $39,000 for the car and truck.

Airplane Scott pretty much irreplaceably damaged- One standard commercial  airplane costs between $51,000,000 to $87,000,000. Lets add $70,000,000 to the total damage costs. 

Wooden boxes of cargo- Who knows whats in there? Could be expensive stuff or vegetables. I’m gonna add another $2000 for cargo and box damage. (again, being generous. There were at least 20 wooden boxes)

Truck Scott steps on- add $39,000.

Jetway Scott swung at Rhodey- add $300,000

Another truck Scott steps on- add $39,000.

More cargo- less boxes were destroyed this time though, so we’ll add $1000 more 

Jet that Steve and Bucky stole- technically it wasn’t destroyed so we won’t add any damage costs, but for your information, that’s a felony. 

Scott add more damage to already destroyed plane- It’s destroyed already.

LETS ADD IT UP

$503,400 + $1100 + $78,000 + $39,000 + $300,000 + $1000 +$500,000 + $33,560 + $39,000 + $70,000,000 + $2000 + $39,000 + $1000

EQUALS
$71,537,060 give or take several million bucks (because I was generous) 

Now let’s think a little more. Team Cap has literally no way of paying for all this damage. They are fugitives and if the pool up all their bank savings can maybe cover a third of the costs. 

Now guess who would feel responsible and pay off the the damage even though HE CAME TO NEGOTIATE AND NOT FIGHT?

That’s right, Tony Stark. 

He doesn’t even have to, but Tony would shoulder all the costs for his SHITTY TEAMMATES THAT DON’T GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT HIM. 

(note: I may have gotten some of the costs wrong but you get the point)

(another note: This is just the Leipzig airport. I’m not gonna even think of the damage costs in Bucharest when Steve purposely collapsed a tunnel, hijacked a car, and endangered dozens of civilians. Or in Berlin when Steve had attacked and severely injured several of members of the German police and military and illegally trespassed in German territory. Or in Johannesburg when Wanda purposely used her magic to manipulated Bruce and set the Hulk onto heavily populated city streets. Or the disaster in Lagos. Or Wanda’s involvement in the creation of Ultron that lead the the tragedy in Sokovia.) 

Peace out Tumblrers!