Okay I just need to say this. I watched the ep this morning. Loved it. Loved the pacing, the balance, everything about it. I avoided Tumblr all weekend b/c I didn’t want the negativity to effect my enjoyment of it and I’m glad I did b/c some of what I’m seeing this morning has my scratching my head.

Why is it, that anytime Emma goes through something that effects Killian, she doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with him? Real relationships are MESSY. They aren’t perfect and free from lies and angst, trust me. They tell you long term relationships and marriages are WORK for a reason. That is what Killian and Emma are getting to work through before our very eyes. Do you know how lucky that makes us as a fandom? To have the creators say, “Don’t worry, we aren’t breaking them up, we just want to see them go through the motions that real couples go through”. That’s all any ship could ever DREAM of; to not have to worry that this means doom for our couple and to get to enjoy watching them grow together and helping each other become the best versions of themselves.

It’s funny that when Killian lied to Emma and her parents about his hand and how he blackmailed Rumple, everyone was “Awwww that rascal, Killian you dummy” – no one was shouting how he doesn’t deserve Emma if he can’t tell her the truth. He also didn’t want to tell her the stuff w/Ursula either, he lied to her face…and he eventually came clean when she called him out on it. That was no more than 3-6 mos ago in the show’s time. These are character flaws. They’re insecurities. They’re learning to trust in each other. I mean, Charming and Snow were still working through those same types of issues back in S3 when he lied to her about the dreamshade. 

Emma just found out she and Killian, after the Underworld and everything, still may not get their happy ending – So instead of telling him and having what could be their potential last moments be fraught with worry and with trying to fight back, she initially chooses to go at it alone and if it’s her last moments with the man she loves, they’re going to be bliss – not full of pain and sadness. It’s not right but it’s understandable. It won’t last forever. This will, in the end, show as a huge growth moment for her b/c I’m sure she’ll learn that everyone’s happy endings are not her responsibility and that she needs to lean on the people who love her and let them help her, instead of her trying to constantly help everyone else. That’s how they learn to trust each other, that’s how Emma will break the pattern of savior doom– and she will beat this like she beats everything else, with Killian by her side.

Okay but Harry getting his hair cut after years of growing it out and when he turns around to let Louis have a look Louis’ eyes crinkle and his face goes all soft the way it always does when Harry is around and he just loves it,, loves this beautiful boy sitting in front of him so much and later when Harrys shoot is all done and they’re getting ready to leave Louis starts gently teasing Harry “have you seen Harry he’s about this tall, has hair down to his shoulders hmm I can’t seem to find him” and Harry takes Louis’ hand and intertwines their fingers and says “heyyyyyy I’m right here” and Louis smiles again and everything about this moment is so perfect and I’m a pile of mush

it would be cool if blizzard could just acknowledge that yes, illidan has done bad things in his life but that he can still be redeemed despite his poor choices in the past. instead theyre pretending he was perfect and justified all along in everything he’s ever done and that if you criticize him at all youre Wrong and Bad

and to top it all off theyre shoving him down our throats in possibly the least subtle way imaginable via Naarumus Prime who apparently only exists to tell us about their raging cosmic boner for Manpain McMuscles

anonymous asked:

This was absolutely perfectly planned and executed, like this has been in the works since the time of his haircut and the entire process has been kept quiet, and that's just so harry, to do something this major and drop it on everyone like this (just like his casting in Dunkirk, we should never ever underestimate him 😂) and this is only the start, we're going to have so many more photoshoots and interviews and events and songs and movies and videos to freak out over, but what a perfect start👏

I was just thinking about this, like we knew he had a plan, but I don’t think any of us anticipated how #meticulously thought out every aspect of this has been. It’s incredible to me that he’s kept us so in the dark about everything until the moment he’s ready. This is the way I think Harry’s always wanted to do things, and I’m so happy he’s able to be his own boss now and go about this in entirely his own way.

Me in the past 24 hours

Before the episode: Omg, I can’t wait for the season finale, it’ll be awesome!

During the episode: What the hell is happening? What is this? Why are they changing everything??

After the episode: *angry and disappointed af* Don’t speak to me. I could kill someone at the moment. Everything was so fucking bad.

Three hours after the episode: Maybe I overreacted a little. I understand a little better why they did what they did. But I’m still salty. They could have handled it better. 

This morning: Okay I’m not saying this episode was perfect, but I don’t want to spend my time complaining about it, so I’ll just try and pretend it didn’t happen.  

Now: *sad and hurt and still disappointed. Also afraid of queerbaiting, but still hopeful* I need hugs, and someone to talk with, and chocolate. I’m going to rewatch some SorMik scenes to cheer up a little.

The Blue Stick Part 9

Pairing: Steve x reader  

Warning: Swearing. Pregnancy.

(Remember to always have protected sex people!!)    

A/N: (Y/N) your name

(Y/H/C) your hair color  

(Y/F/F) your favorite flowers


**Russian Terms:

Nemnogo lyubvi (Little Love)

Rebenok (The baby)

 devushka (Girl)

@skeletoresinthebasement       @allyp1023      @castellandiangelo   @meatballevan    @castielohcastiel        @thejameebond      @writingruna

Steve was leaning in the door way arms crossed and a smile playing on his face, as you laughed with Nat and Wanda over the horrific wedding dresses you found in the magazines. He was still as breathe taking as he was the first time you seen him as he walked across the roof towards you mission ready. You could stare at him for days, everything about him amazed you the way he believed, the way he talked to you or the twins, God even the way he moved, he was just perfect. He smiled at you as you grin back, before he starts towards the bed you have taken over with the other two.
“Lunch is here, think you can make it to the kitchen?” He brushes a stand of hair out of your face.
“Mmm, yes. Help me up?” As Wanda and Nat sit up and crawl off the bed. Grabbing Steve’s outstretched hand, he helps you to your feet still leaning against the edge of the bed, you feel a sharpness in your large bump. Placing your hand on it you could feel it tighten. Steve’s eyes drop to your hand his eyebrows furrowing.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure. It’s tight and there is this sharp pain.” Nat and Wanda exchange a look and Steve looks at you wide eyed. “What?”
“That sounds like a contraction.” Wanda said softly.
“What no? It’s only 32 weeks. We still have time.” Looking from person to person.
“I’ll find Banner.” Nat disappears.
“Can I eat till we know what’s going on?” Looking up at Steve he smirks and lets out a small laugh.
“Yes let go to the kitchen.”

“Was it just one?” Banner is reading the monitor papers.
“Well…” Looking down at your take out knowing they were all going to stare at you.
“There’s been more?!” Steve’s voice is higher than normal, he’s shocked and more than likely giving you that disappointed look that breaks your heart.
“Umm.” You crinkle your forehead and crunch up your mouth.
“Today or for a few days?” Banner sounds slightly annoyed.
“Since last night.” You shrink into the chair a little more knowing Steve was going to be upset and Nat was known yelling at you.
“What?!” Steve and Nat loudly question at you.
“They woke me up.” You sheepishly peek up at Steve who looks annoyed and hurt.
“You didn’t wake me?” He leans on the counter irritation running through him.
“I didn’t think they were anything!” You defend yourself.
“How far apart?” Banner crosses his arms over his chest.
“Last night? 30 mins or so, I only felt a few.”
“Oh…. Umm. I’m not sure.” Looking at Steve who is still leaned against the counter looking grumpy out of the corner of your eye.
“Okay you need to start timing them, anything closer than 15 minutes and we need to start prepping for those two’s arrival.” Banner looks from you to Steve. Nodding your silent agreement knowing you were in trouble.

Nat was sitting at the island tapping her fingers staring into space. Annoyance played out on her face her forehead creasing as Buck, and Steve come in.
“What?” Buck knew that look usually followed with someone getting hit. Her lips pursed and she continued to tap her fingers.
“She’s hiding something.” Her eyes, lowering glaring suddenly.
“Who?” Steve and Buck look at each other, Steve crossing his arms over his chest as the elevator dings Tony and Banner emerge in conversation.
“Stark!” Nat jumps out of her seat at the island crossing towards Tony quickly, as she gets close to him he starts backing up till he reaches the wall Nat close to his face.
“Romanoff missing two warm hands?” His hands up slightly in defense.
Buck rolled his eyes.
“You, you’re known for being sneaky and hiding things.” She was glaring at him as she kept him backed to the wall.
Sam and Clint come out of the living room taking in the scene happening in the scene going on.
“You really shouldn’t point fingers when talking about being sneaky and hiding things. Wasn’t that your job before?”
“Don’t turn this around Stark you are helping her hide something. I know it.”
Steve steps towards Nat hands up. 
“Nat you’re not making any sense what are you talking about?”
“Yes it would be nice if I knew who I am supposedly hiding things for.” Tony’s tone was light and playful taking nothing serious.
“(Y/N)! Don’t play games Stark.” She points a finger at Tony.
“Wait what?” Steve takes another step towards Tony and Nat.
“She’s hiding something, keeping things from us, sneaking around the house like she thinks she’s quick enough to get around without being seen.” She steps back from Tony looking from Bucky, Steve and Tony. “Secret meetings and not answering questions. Giving in on a big wedding when we all know she isn’t a wedding person. The things she said to Buck. I know my best friend. She’s hiding something.” Nat sighed as if keeping that information in was a weight on her.
“Why do you think she is hiding something Nat?” Clint spoke first as everyone took in what Nat had spilled.
“I don’t know why she would.” Looking at Clint “But I know she is.”
“So walk us through it, if it makes sense I’ll hold Stark while you make him talk.” Clint smirked eyeing Tony who’s starting to look uncomfortable.
“Fine let’s start with what she said to Buck. She made him promise he would tell Steve, but I didn’t.” Buck doesn’t look at Steve who turned to look at him with his eyebrow raised. “Talking about promising to keep Steve going if anything happens to her. To push him to fall in love again if she goes.” Her eyes gave away that she felt bad for letting Steve hear this. “I wouldn’t think it was anything if she would answer a straight question about having the twins and being a mom. She doesn’t ignore but she doesn’t answer hasn’t since she blacked out in the elevator.”
There was a wave of exchanged facial expressions as it dawned on the team Nat was right about that.
“When she came home, she isn’t supposed to be walking around and weirdly enough she was making a break for the elevator looking around paranoid like she might be caught. I know she went to Tony’s lab I watched the elevator!” She waved her hand around turning to glare at Tony again who was leaned against the wall Nat had backed him into.
“What did she come to see you about Stark?” Sam has his arms crossed and he’s watching Tony with intent.
Steve’s body went tense his arms crossed over his chest, his face blank only a hint of anger in his eyes.
“Now who says she came to see me, or that she found me?” He wasn’t making eye contact.
Everyone stared at him. “You can’t prove she came to see me.” He shrugs.
“Alright I’ll hold him who wants to make him talk?”
“I’ll take a turn.”
Clint and Sam move towards Tony, who puts his hands up.
“Why don’t you just make her tell you? She can’t lie for crap that’s why she avoids it all.” Nat looks at Steve who shrugs.
“I’m not sure she’s lying about anything yet. Avoiding questions sure, but I don’t see her lying yet.”
“Don’t tell me I’m hiding things from you people,”
“Guys.” Sam clears his throat while looking down the hall.
“When we are all keeping the Steve and Kate thing from her.”
“Guys.” Sam looks around.
“If anyone is hiding things it’s us keeping it from her. She doesn’t even know her boyfriend and unborn kids had a stalker agent trying to replace her.” Tony’s voice has raised in his haste to defend him.
“GUYS.” Sam says loudly. Everyone looks at him and what he is looking at. Standing in the hallway opening is (Y/N) staring at them shock on her face.
“Kate and,” She pauses “Steve?” Her eyes wide, holding tightly to the monitor, her voice low, shock settled in.

“(Y/N) it’s not what you think.” Steve moves towards her; she quickly steps back glaring at him.
“No? That’s why you,” She looked around at the team. “You all kept it from me?”
“I said we should have told you.” Clint points out. (Y/N) went from glaring at Steve to giving Clint a dirty look.
“What happened?” No longer willing to look at Steve she focused on Sam. Who looked at Steve in hopes he didn’t have to break the news to her.
“Let’s go sit down and I’ll tell you everything.” Steve put out a hand. She didn’t look away from Sam only putting her hand up to keep Steve from moving towards her again.
“Don’t open your mouth right now. Between you, Nat and Buck I am not listening to any of you. Move towards me again and I will hormonally beat you with this monitor Rogers.” Never breaking her eyes away from Sam. Steve stepped back from her knowing not to test her mood swings.
“So I have to tell you?” Sam looks around again in hopes someone else will. Everyone looks in different directions.
“Are you stupid enough to lie to a hormonal very pregnant women?” Raising an eyebrow at him.
“Okay so when you and I talked on the couch after you got home after the whole thing at Steve’s birthday party. You said you thought he was into Kate.” Sam was talking quickly to get his part over and not upset the women standing in front of him, threatening to beat someone with the monitor she drags with her everywhere. “So I told Barnes about it. I’m assuming like everything else he told Nat, I told Steve but he denied it. That’s when my part ended and Clint got involved.” Sam looked at Clint.
Clint looked uncomfortable instantly.
“I just, I heard ah, Kate make a comment in the elevator about being their step mom. I told Nat she’s the one that went to see Kate!” Clint points to Nat who rolls her eyes. “And she took Buck with her.” (Y/N) looks at Nat from the corner of her eye.
“Did you hit her?”
“She has cracked ribs.” Shrugging she smirked.
“The second these two are out of me every one of you better run.” Glaring at each one of her team mates ending on Steve who tried to force a smile.

“Umm..” Walking into the living room with your forehead creased and concern etched into your face. Everyone turns to look at you.
“You shouldn’t be on your feet (Y/N).” Buck gets to his feet coming towards you.
“Why do you have that look on your face?” Nat watching you intently.
“They’re about 15 minutes apart.” You look at Buck as he comes up to your side.
Clint’s off the couch and pulling his phone as he and Buck help you into a chair.
“Banner, 15 minutes apart.”
“Steve’s in the gym.” Squinting one eye in pain and gripping Bucks hand who flinches as you dig your nails into his normal hand.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y. let Rogers know he’s needed up here now.” Tony walks out of the room quickly. Looking at Nat as the pain calms and your able to think straight again.
“I have to pee Nat help me there?” Holding your hand out to her she grabs and helps you up. Waiting for you to steady on your feet as another contraction rolls in. Squeezing Nat’s hand and Buck holds you up.
“That’s a lot closer than 15 minutes.” Clint looks at Tony. The elevator dings as Banner, Steve and Sam come running into the living room.
“Update?” Banner asks moving towards the monitor checking the history.
“They’re a lot closer than 15 minutes now.” Tony’s eyebrows are raised.
“Why are you standing?” Banner stops and looks at you.
“I have to pee.” You take a step forward still gripping Nat’s hand. Tony, Steve, Buck and Sam are standing in front of you as you feel a sudden rush of warm liquid run down your legs. All four men look down, make a face and step back.
Tony: “Did she just?”
Sam: “Oh!”
Buck: “Ummm.”
Steve: “Whoa!”
Clint shakes his head grabbing your arm as you and Nat exchange a look shaking your head.
“Her water broke.” He looks down as they start to move you forward slowly.
“Umm.” You stop. Something felt wrong. It wasn’t the contractions, something in you felt wrong. The feeling when you blacked out in the elevator.
“What?” Steve, Nat, Banner, and Buck at one time.
“Somethings wrong…” Looking from Steve to Banner.
“Hey Banner, she’s bleeding.” Sam points to your legs everyone looks down there were two lines of red running down your right leg.
“Tony ambulance.” Tony pulls his phone as they continue to get you to the elevator.
“What’s wrong?” Steve is following panic on his face.
“With twins it actually is normal. It’s if she blacks out we have a bigger issue.” Banner pushes for the button. Contraction coming in hard, squeezing Nat’s hand and Clint telling you to breathe through it in your ear.
“Clint I’m going to break your shooting hand, tell me to breathe again.” Your teeth clenched. Steve and Clint trade places.
“Ambulance is meeting us down stairs. Hospital is going on lock down now.” Tony jumps in the elevator with everyone else.
“Bags.” You breath heavily.
“Someone will come back for them.”
“I’ll send someone to get them.” Tony says looking down at his phone. Typing out another command to which ever poor agent got picked.
“So that feeling.” You looked up at Steve.
“What feeling?” Nat looks at Banner.
“Same feeling.” You sigh.
“She’s going to black out. Catch her.” As your limbs go weak, and the world blurs into black around you.

Her body goes limp and Steve quickly wraps his arm around her, supporting her unconscious body to his as the elevator doors open. It was like Déjà vu all over again for him as they loaded her up, he was pushed into the ambulance with her. Everything and everyone was moving so fast he wasn’t sure what was happening anymore.


“Sir?” Everyone looks up. The team had taken over the waiting room again.
Steve looks up at the nurse in pink scrubs, smiling at him.
“She’s stable and we’re prepping her to perform a C-section, would you like to come with an cut the cords?” Steve’s mouth was hanging open slightly frozen again. Clint stands and pats Steve on the shoulder.
“Let’s go, I’ll stand in the back and let you know everything their doing isn’t going to hurt them.” Steve nods not saying anything still, standing Clint and Steve follow the nurse in pink scrubs down the hall.
Putting on trauma gowns and caps on Steve’s panicked looked hasn’t changed.
“They’re going to cut her abdomen open, her uterus open, and pull out the twins. It won’t be pretty, it’s not going to be something you forget, but it’s also going to scare you.” Clint looked at Steve trying to prep him for what they were going to walk into.
“This is the fastest and safest way to get them out and get her awake.” Steve was nodding, not sure if he was taking in the information or if he was just nodding so nobody stopped to ask if he was okay.
“Are you alright? Do you need a minute?” Steve nodded. “Your life is going to change I understand.”
“Do you think she’s hiding something like Nat said?” He finally looked at Clint.
“No. If anything it was something to protect those babies that are getting ready to be born. I don’t think she’s hiding anything, just protecting her family.” Steve nodded again as Clint pats him on the shoulder. “Alright, ready to become a dad?” Steve finally smiled as they headed into the delivery room.


“We have a healthy baby girl and her healthy brother.” Clint laughs leaning against the door way of the waiting room. Everyone starts talking.
“Who was born first?” Buck asks grinning.
“He was.” Clint grinned back.
“Bet she still beats the crap out of him.” Nat winks.
“If he’s anything like Steve, you’ll win that one.” Buck laughs.
“When can we meet them?” Tony asks.
“How is (Y/N)?” Sam asks.
“She is in her room; Steve is waiting for her to wake up. They are in the nursery, Steve hasn’t held either of them, so we can only press our faces against the windows and wait.” Everyone laughs and breaks into conversations as they all head to the nursery with Clint.

“Alright, now you have to wake up, I need you to, we have two tiny people who need names and I can’t name them without you.” Steve smiled. “Don’t let me name them, please. Our son will end up with a good name, but our daughter she’ll end up with a weird old lady name as Nat put it. So you have to pick her name, tell me that our sons name is a good choice.” His thumb rubbing the top of her hand.
“I’ll name her Ruth or Tammy. Don’t let me make our daughter hate me the rest of my life.” He couldn’t help but give a small chuckle.
“No.” Her mouth barely moving.
“What?!” His eyes shot up to her face grinning at her.
“You’re not naming her Ruth. I’ll fight you on that.” Her voice groggy, she looked tired still.
“I’m sure you’d win that one.” A soft laughed escaped his lips as he leaned down to kiss her.
“I picked their names, I was going to ask you before, but they decided to arrive early.” She grinned at him.
“Then let’s name them.” Standing up Steve pushed the Call Nurse button on the table.

Everyone is in the nursery with Steve, the twins and yourself.
Nat is leaning on the rocking chair Steve is in holding his daughter making baby cooing faces, Buck is standing on the other side grinning. You weren’t sure Steve had blinked yet not since the nurse in pink scrubs handed her to him, he was staring and talking to her while she coo’s back holding his large thumb with her tiny, tiny hand. She was more you than him, but she had his blonde hair and blue eyes. She had your mouth, and nose and Steve was mesmerized by her.
In your arms was the tiny son of yours who had more of Steve than you in him, his eyes, mouth, the small amount of blonde hair on his head, he was a small Steve. Wanda was on one side of you while Sam was taking up the other. Tony made himself comfy right in the middle looking from one to the other.
“So do they have names or did you still not pick them out?” Buck asked not looking away from his niece.
Steve raised an eyebrow and finally looked away from the tiny girl in his large arms looking at you he smiled.
“Sarah Natalia Rogers.” You smile at Steve who coo’s at the pink bundle in his arms. Grinning Nat kisses Steve’s temple. Looking down at the tiny blue bundle in your arms whose wide eyed and cooing at Wanda.
“James Samuel – Joseph Rogers.” Steve finally says. You both look around at Nat, Buck and Sam who are grinning, Sam leans down to kiss the top of your head.  “Here.” You place your hand under James’ head passing him to Sam, whose eyes are wide and filled with excitement as he pulls the blue bundle to his chest nestling him into the crook of his arm.
Steve passes Sarah to Buck who looks nervous as she coo’s at him. Steve stands letting Buck take his seat, coming over to you he leans down and kisses you.
“Told you she was going to be Uncle Bucky’s devushka.” Buck laughed as she yawned and gripped his thumb. Nat gave him a small slap to the back of the head everyone let out a laugh.

You had been back to The Tower for a few days now, everyone was laying around the living room passing the twins and loving on them. Steve was laying on the couch arms behind his head, with James on his chest curled into a ball, feet sticking out from under him, his arms flat across Steve’s chest, James’ mouth hanging open. Buck was on the other couch the exact same way with Sarah on his chest only she was sprawled out arms up, legs kicked out, her small mouth pushed into a very small O.
Looking at Nat who was next to Buck and Sarah shaking your head, Buck and Steve were so warm the twins didn’t need blankets when they slept on their chests which was often if they had their way.
“Your mind is somewhere.” Steve didn’t even look at you, his large hand across James’ back keeping him in place as if he was going somewhere. Smiling at them,
“Just thinking.” Brushing your hair out of your face.
“About?” Nat looked at you, eyebrow raised. You place a hand on Steve’s arm still behind his head, giving it a squeeze, he tilts his head back looking at you upside down, smiling at you he gives you a wink and goes back to looking at the TV.
“So we’ve agreed we are not naming God parents.” You spoke softly everyone looks at you. “This team, you all. You’re their God parents.”  Sarah lets out a coo in her sleep and Buck grins down at her. “If anything was to come for them, there isn’t a thing that could get through all of you. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do to keep them safe, if the last 9 months has shown us anything.”
“So does this mean she isn’t mad about the Kate thing now?” Sam says quietly to Clint. Steve lets out a chuckle as you glare at Sam. “Maybe not.” As he catches your glare.
“Sam come here.” You smile sweetly at him.
“Oh no I’m not that stupid you’ll hit me.” He laughs as he settles father into his chair crossing his arms over his chest.
“No I just want both my arms and hands to hold your kids next so I know better.” All of you laugh, Steve and Buck go still as the twins stir from the sudden motion. Grinning at the two of them, you couldn’t help but wonder something. Tony was laying on the large rug next to Wanda.
“Yes?” He looks over at you.
“How long would it take to put a wedding together?” You smile as your fingers play with your engagement ring.
Steve looks back at you again his eyes wide and a smile on his lips.
“Yeah, they were already born out of wed lock, and I know how old fashion you are.” Grinning at him.
“I’ll put F.R.I.D.A.Y. on it tomorrow morning.” Tony grins at you.
“I love you, you difficult women.” Steve grinned at you, leaning down you place a kiss on his lips as Sarah lets out a squeak, everyone let out a laugh as James’ returned a similar sound from his ball on Steve’s chest.


Hello, I know I said I’d try and update here more often but we packed up yet again and moved recently, I’ll leave that story for another time though. Everything’s perfect on our side, Wolf’s been an absolute little gem and I suppose we love Dean more than ever!

 I just wanted to pop in and share one or two of these updates before our little lady makes an appearance, just so I have something to reflect on. So, here goes my first attempt -

How far along - 33 weeks + 1 day.

Baby fruit size - Pineapple

Total weight gain - 12kg

Sleep - I haven’t had a decent nights sleep since I was about 19 weeks. Wolf has started sleeping in our bed since started his transition in a big boy bed and with Dean working such ridiculous hours at work, he’s in and out all night.

Maternity clothes - I still manage to squeeze into some of my clothes, but majority of my outfits are from the maternity section now!

Food cravings and aversions - All I ever crave lately is pickles but I‘ve established a strong dislike for fish, which breaks my heart!

Symptoms - I think I’m carrying her in my lower back, because lately I get the worst back pains. I also get a lot of on/off pains in my lower abdomen but I think that’s just where things are shifting and growing.

Stretchmarks - I found my first one about two weeks ago, I was devastated but I know she’s going to be worth it!

Doctor’s appointment - We went last Friday for a check-up, where they told me I had developed gestational diabetes. I have an ultrasound next Wednesday to make sure baby isn’t growing too big.

Next appointment - Next Wednesday, if an ultrasound counts, lol.

Movement - YES, a lot! Although she’s very quickly running out of room in there she has a little party whenever I eat pickles, or if Dean sits and talks to her.

Belly Button - In.

Gender - Little girl

Due Date - November 13, 2016

Best moment of this week - Dean proposed, last Thursday! (Still counts as this week LMAO)

What I’m looking forward to - Finally getting a start at putting her nursery together.

anonymous asked:

ELLESSEY Where you want to be absolutely broke me. You wrote daisuga in the context of infidelity/depression beautifully. Personally that subject is hard to read for me. Even a while after I read fics with infidelity I tend to dwell on just the thought of an otp getting there. I was wondering how the process of writing daisuga in such a fractured state was to you? <3

Hi! Thank you so much! And thank you for asking this! It was definitely the most painful thing I’ve written, plot wise, so while it came easily and I wrote it more quickly than most of my other fics, it was emotionally harder.

I was just thinking about Daichi and Suga and how good they are together (specifically, how I wrote them in The Stars in Summer, where everything is just so fresh and intense and happy…but this is not a tragic sequel to that!), and thinking about how things never stay perfect and magical. I couldn’t help wondering what it would look like if they lost that somehow, what could lead to them losing it, and what they would do about it.

The image I kept getting in my head was the two of them in bed, but not really with each other, with Daichi wondering why Suga was so far away…so that’s where I started. I put them in such a terrible place because I wanted them to be able to help each other out of it, and I went with infidelity (in addition to depression) because the worst thing I could think of was one of them cheating on the other. It’s just so awful and hurtful, and makes trust take such a huge hit, so while it’s a really awful place to imagine them in, it was where I needed them to be, to be able to see them choose to keep loving each other after. 

I have a lot of faith in the love and respect these two have for each other, so I couldn’t see something like this happening if there wasn’t more going on, and depression felt like a very natural struggle for Suga to have. I see him as very sensitive and thoughtful, and as someone who would also be really weighed down by things, and would try very hard to keep powering through even as he lost his grip on everything.

I felt terrible putting them in this position, but really, it could so easily happen. To them or to anyone else. Relationships fall apart for so many reasons, but I really wanted to write the kind of quiet, slow process of it coming back together after it crashes down.

The first part of that was difficult. I pretty much imagine that I am the character, and I am in whatever scenario I’m writing, and then let myself mentally and emotionally experience it and react to it, the way I feel the character would, so that it all feels very real when I write it out. So this…was a little brutal. The hurt and confusion Daichi was dealing with, and all of the widespread emotions, and lack of emotions, that go along with the place Suga was in…I was definitely a little emotionally overwhelmed while writing this, which is why I honestly just can’t write stuff like this too often.

But, I also got to write the parts that came after. I got to experience the quiet peace Suga could feel from having Daichi there, supporting him no matter what, and I got to feel Daichi’s steady love and his hope for Suga, and his forgiveness. Suga’s joy at feeling again, Daichi’s joy at being loved, and the warmth and elation of both of them finding their place in each other again.

I’m really, really big on loving, supportive relationships, and I love the idea that even though a “perfect” relationship can prove to be imperfect, and the people in it can mess up and hurt each other, because that’s what people do, they can find their way back to a good place. (Not magically, because life doesn’t work that way. Daichi was really hurt and angry at first no matter how much he loved Suga, and Suga couldn’t just snap his fingers and get better. If he could get better on his own, of course he would have. He didn’t want to feel that way. I’m rambling so much now, but I think this is so important…it was really important to me that Suga was made to feel safe in asking for and accepting help. Daichi couldn’t just fix everything for Suga, but he could support him in the steps he needed to take to be in a position to heal).

So…….dear, sweet anon who has been given the longest answer possible, that’s what the process was like :). Painful, but ultimately really a good experience. It was extremely therapeutic to write the conclusion, and it makes me happy to think of this pairing, that I love so much, being able to work their way through this and come out stronger in the end. Thank you for reading (and please accept some hugs across cyberspace, because I’m sorry it was hard to read), and for giving me the chance to love on DaiSuga a little bit <3  

anonymous asked:

I dont know how to phrase this really but...how are you so passionate about your life? Like everything that youve shared us in the little details about your life, whether its your friends or family, and then school and journalism, and then the fictional mediums like tv and comic books. I mean youre life consists of you caring so much about things and being hardworking and when I think about you its like "god shes so alive" and youre such a cool person in my eyes. And its like how do you do it

How did you get to this point in your life? Because like im aware your life isnt perfect, I mean sometimes you have a ton of stuff on your plate, but even then you triumph, you succeed. No matter what happens you just keep going with a victorious smile on your face. At least these are all the vibes I get from you. Like you seem excited about everything and thats awesome. I get scared because I always feel drained and like I dont care about things anymore. Like I got the life sucked out of me.

So I dunno…point is dude, youre super awesome. And I hope a lot of good things come your way soon.

Wow. I really wish I hadn’t gotten this message on a Sunday after I spent 24 hours in bed being not productive hehe but I think I know what you mean. I’m surprised you see me like that, because what you think of as passion I think of as 110% anxiety over all the things I’m trying to get right. 

Here’s the thing you’re right about though: I care. I care a lot about a lot of things. I am unable of casually liking something. When something or someone matters to me I will invest a lot of time and brain power on it. 

Still, you’re right, stress and exhaustion can slow me down, make me doubt, but I am not one to give in to self-pity. Instead, here’s what I tell myself:

a. You wanted this. My classes, my college, the school news paper, the social interactions. I chose them. The work may get exhausting and demanding, but I have to remind myself this are things I want in my life, that I enjoy, that I think will be important for my future. I don’t get to complain when I made my choice and I won’t give up because there is a reason I wanted them in the first place. 

b. You have survived everything so far, you will survive this. Look, this is true for everyone and the most obvious truth but I keep repeating this to myself. I have gotten this far. I have survived and succeeded on everything else. I will survive this too. Even if it feels overwhelming and drowning, I can pull through. I have proved I can, now I just have to do this. 

c. You’ve got this. I say this one out loud. Picture me panicking by a random situation. Feel like I’m dying. Wanna give up on life. Stop, say this out loud: “Okay, Sofía. You’ve got this. You can do it.” Hearing myself say it helps. Sometimes I even picture a more put together version of myself, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me and aggressively supporting myself. Gotta be my own cheerleader. 

d. What do I need to get through today? Pick a reason. A new comic is coming out today. A new episode of my favorite series. I’m meeting a friend. I’m watching a movie. I’m having something delicious for dinner. I’m having a beer when I get home. Whatever the reason, pick one a day to get you through. I plan my whole week with little incentives that keep me going. If you don’t have one, make one up for that particular day. You’d be surprised how much a nice finish line helps. 

e. What would my favorite character do? I pick my faves especially for this. I love journalism so whenever I have to work on a tough piece I think “Lois Lane would not back down on this”. Gotta push through an exhausting day, I think “America Chavez would keep going”. And so on. Not only does it inspire me, but it also kinda makes me feel like I’m part of a story. 

f. I’m the main character of this story. This is just a plot twist. Characters go through ups and downs, they face conflict, they struggle… but in the end they always succeed. You too will get through. What would life be without drama? Think, if you were a character, how many people would be rooting for you. This is your story, and you can take control of the narrative. Put some cool soundtrack music and tell yourself “this is my success montage, this is the point of the story where everything changes”. 

magnusizzy  asked:

alec, cc, dom ♥

alec- what’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through

I lost someone very close to me when I was a kid.

cc- what are your opinions on the show + the actors

I think the show is not perfect. There’s obviously a lot of stuff that could be improved but I don’t even care about it because I love the way they fixed everything I didn’t like in the books and just made it better. I love that they treated my fav characters with the respect they deserve and gave them proper storylines.

As for the actors, they’re all my precious dorky children and I’m gonna adopt them. Also, if you don’t think Isaiah has the best smile in the whole world, I don’t know what to tell you.

dom- what type of accent do you have

I have a French accent but I lived in London for a while and I caught some expressions from there so I say “innit” and some cockney words and all in all, it’s just really ridiculous hahaha. 


When we worked here together, we fought, scratched, and clawed to make people’s lives a tiny bit better. That’s what public service is all about: small, incremental change every day. Teddy Roosevelt once said ‘Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is a chance to work hard at work worth doing.’ And I would add that what makes work worth doing is getting to do it with people that you love. I started my career more than thirty years ago in the Parks and Recreation department right here in Pawnee, Indiana. I had a lot of different jobs, including two terms as your governor. And soon, a new, unknown challenge awaits me which to me, even now, is thrilling because I love the work. Not to say that public service isn’t sexy because it definitely is, but that’s not why we do it. We do it because we get the chance to work hard at work worth doing, alongside a team of people who we love. So I thank those people who walked with me and I thank you for this honor. Now, go find your team and get to work

I promise you this, when you find your person you’ll know. Because you find them in every little thing you do and you picture doing everything with that one person. Every song becomes about them, every movie or tv show ends up being relatable to them. You start to feel more than just butterflies in your stomach but you get a feeling in your heart that makes everything feel as if it’ll all be okay. They’re voice is your new favorite sound and they’re eyes are your new favorite color. You can’t get enough of them in a day and you can’t picture anyone else by your side. Whether it’s miles or minutes apart you just know deep down that they are your person. And if you ever find that person, you’d be damned if you ever let them go.
—  Some personal shit