Here I am, lying in my one-place-and-a-half bed, in the very place where you used to throw yourself to snuggle in, and I miss you.
The intensity that permeated your look when it touched me, the softness of your hair, the tenderness of your cuddles, the warmth of your skin against mine, the comfort of your presence, I miss everything.
It is so unfair. You are the person who has approached the most closely the frail little organ that is my heart, and here we are again strangers. It is even worse than being strangers, if we had simply returned back to this stage, there would remain hope, the electrifying excitement of having the opportunity to know each other, to discover each other, to marvel at each other of what we were, the visceral excitement of bonding to a new soul.
We’re not even strangers anymore. Even our eyes are fleeing each other as we both die of wanting to make them cross again.
I miss you.
You had to realize that we did not want the same thing for this utopia to end. It was too good to be true, you were too beautiful to be mine.
And here we are, both of us wishing deeply to reach the contraries of our mutual desires.
You, to love me with a flame of love that you do not have, in order to keep by your side the soul mate you found in me.
Me, to be able to forget that it is this flame of love that I have for you which gnaws me, in order to be able to meet again your almond eyes without feeling my world collapsing, in order to have the strength to keep you by my side, to have the strength to love you with that profound friendship you have for me.
I miss you.
We are but the sad spectators of a morbid scene, where we can only look helplessly at our plans to empty their blood by liters. The hope was extinguished in my hands when I tried to hold it to you and you did not know how to grasp it.
Love has given way to disarray, happiness has given way to loneliness, romance has given way to nostalgia, your kisses on my cheeks have given way to the erratic furrows of my tears, and you, you have given way to a gaping hole in the middle of my most secular hopes.
I miss you.
I wish I could hug you again, I would like to have the naivety to believe that you loved me, I would like to have the carelessness not to fear the nature of your feelings. I wish I could no longer be afraid to eternally continue to seek for you through all the people I meet. I wish I could not be terrified that I will never find someone else like you, someone who would have the same laugh, the same look, the same dimples in the corner of the mouth, the same hair, the same Way to kiss, the same way to get angry, the same tastes for music. I wish I could feel able to love something else than what you are.
I wish I could no longer feel a piece of me collapse every time I remember that you are now part of the past and that there is no possible future with you.
I wish that the thought of you leaves me a different taste than the bitter one of the salted pearls that flow on my cheeks.
Before getting married, like many other unmarried Muslims, I used to think marriage would be all rosy and make my life much better. In reality, it is you who decides to make your life better. To expect your spouse to magically make everything okay is an unfair expectation, they’re only human after all; like you they have flaws and weaknesses. Marriage is not a band-aid fix to your problems, marriage is helping each other by, standing by one another and fixing each other’s problems together.
May Allah (SWT) bless our marriages and grant us wonderful spouses, Ameen.
I’m guessing that these three are going to end up being the female power houses of the new gen. And its pretty cool that they represent the Hidden Leaf, the Hidden Cloud and the Hidden Sand respectively (Despite two of them being Leaf kunoichi).
Let me reminisce for a bit. I’ve been with these two for pretty much the whole way. I have a lot of memories and emotions about them.
Exactly one year ago, I drew my first ever Akechi and Joker fan art. I was really ecstatic when Soejima said in the magazine that Akechi and Joker was like light and shadow. They were the type I love. The rivals and complementary and special to one another, I thought I couldn’t wish for a better ship to settle for.
I used to have these pieces here but I deleted them because well…back then when you didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen and just saw the spoilers of the scene where Akechi does you know what to Joker–it’s shocking and overwhelming for someone who firmly believed they were supposed to be good rivals. I was disheartened for a while, but decided I should still play the game and see for myself.
After seeing the whole story, I felt really, really sad for Akechi. I would cry sometimes just thinking about how unfair everything was for him. Remember back then the game was just out, there was practically nothing else, no fanworks, no comic anthologies, no merchandise, nothing, the fans would just be clinging to each other in despair after playing the game. It was really harsh, but it was at that time I cemented my values and would support Akechi no matter what.
The rising of Akechi’s popularity also saw the rise in how vocal his haters were, especially after the first poll in November. For haters, Akechi was merely a villain and does not deserve his popularity, yet they were wrong when he was voted as one of the most popular. It was at this time I grew tired of seeing people hate on him–he’s not a bad character and neither was he evil, Akechi’s only sin, as a fictional character, was that he was more popular than people thought he’d be.
After the English release. I was actually quite happy I can finally speak my mind about certain things that I cannot, or don’t want to talk about with my Japanese friends. (For example, how stupid haters are and how I really didn’t think P5 had the best writing). But then English fandom has its own slew of problems and rather “interesting” people. I don’t think I need to go into details here.
All in all, I’ve never regretted for a second everything I’ve done for Akechi and Shuake. There were some grief and frustrations, but it’s been one of the best times I’ve ever had.
“He needs his mouth taping up to stop all that bleating about his ‘missus’. I think I speak for the majority when I say that we are extremely cringed out by Liam’s gushing compliments over his (old) bird! I din’t see her doing the same. She’s just sitting back on her throne whilst the court jester is out making a clown of himself.”
“Haha someone will be getting no dessert for a while after that comment! Didn’t he say recently that she gives him grief for talking too much about her in interviews? I think he thought she was joking, but at this point he is making them both look like idiots.”
“He’s too intellectually challenged to realise the creepiness of this statement … bless him.”
“The only kind of man C****l can keep! Lovestruck and dumb.”
“He watched her as a kid. Now she has two kids.”
“I think C****l needs to put a set of reins on him and put him in the pram with Bear. He’s too young to be on social media he’s still only a baby bless him”
“This is exactly why it works for C****l - the kid idolises her and wouldn’t dare question her! That’s where the others failed - they had their own personalities and weren’t blinded by love. He’ll soon learn as they grow older.”
“He doesn’t speak about her as a person or the mother of his child, he speaks about her as C****l C**e the popstar trophy”
“God this puts it into perspective on how creepy she is, I mean
realistically C****l’s got to have some form of pedo tendencies to have
met a 14 year old kid when she was in her 20s and flirted with him then,
then years later having a Baby with him it’s bizarre. Imagine saying
you met your future babies father, when he was 14 and you were 25 it’s
(i’m actually not a fan of mecha - i’m primarily interested in voltron for the characters, so i’ve paid very little attention on the lion front since it’s just not my thing. this is a question @ourdustytrails could answer in much better technical detail than i can!)
NurseyDex Week Day 2 - Bedsharing and Room Sharing
If you were to tell Will last year - or hell, even a month ago - that sharing a bed with Derek Nurse would become a regular occurrence… he probably would have laughed. Or cringed. Or flushed bright red while shaking his head, adamant that he was being fucked with.
Because people like Derek Nurse don’t share their beds with people like Will.
They just don’t.
Because people like Derek Nurse are unfairly attractive and ridiculously literate and so far out of Will’s league that they’re barely in the same solar system.
The thing is - as Will learned quickly on their first official night as roommates - people like Derek Nurse are a lot of things… but mostly they’re impossible to refuse. Especially when they’re curled up, all warm and soft-looking in the bottom bunk, smelling faintly of weed and holding out their arms for snuggles.
Crawling into Derek’s arms, Will knew - even then - that nothing would be the same after. Because snuggling with his teammates wasn’t something that Will had ever considered, let alone wanted… and because Will knew that he wouldn’t forget the heat of Derek’s body or the strength of his arms anytime soon, all that muscle and smooth skin and god.
It was just. More than Will was prepared to handle. Or consider. Or fight.
And maybe he had just assumed that it would be a one-time deal, but then Derek kept opening his arms to Will. Not every night, but often enough that it became something that Will could look forward to. Something that he could hope for.
Which… brings them here. Nearly two months later, curled up against the frame of Derek’s body, Derek’s hand rested on Will’s hip and Derek’s breath fanning warm against the back of Will’s neck, and-
And honestly, Will should have known that it was too good to be true.
That he had spooned himself straight into a trap.
“You know-” Derek starts, fingers flexing for a moment before going lax - not hard enough to bruise, but firm enough to bring Will’s attention to the point of contact. “It’s chill if this isn’t, like, your thing. I’d get it if you didn’t want to play body pillow for me anymore.”
It takes a moment for Will to formulate some kind of answer, and he’s man enough to admit that it’s mostly because of the tickling sensation of Derek’s lips against his neck, and the way that he can feel the words as they’re formed. He can’t focus on the tingle though, not when he’s been struck by the realization that maybe he had been right from the start.
It’s a sharp reminder that people like Derek Nurse just don’t share their beds - and their warmth - and their affection - with people like Will. It makes him go stiff, muscles braced for impact - physical or otherwise.
“I- wait, what? I thought that you- that you liked this.”
Derek’s hand dips forward, drifting from where it had perched high on Will’s hip to curl around him properly. It has the negative effect of bringing them even closer, bodies spooned tight - close enough for Will to feel every rise of Derek’s chest and every restless twitch of Derek’s knee.
“Of course I like this. I just know that it’s my thing.” Carefully, Derek’s fingers curl into Will’s shirt, holding him tight and close and it’s confusing. It’s so fucking confusing. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”
“When have I ever done something just because you wanted me to, Nurse?”
Derek laughs at that - a strained little thing that ruffles the hairs at the nape of Will’s neck - and everything about him is unfair.
“I can think of a few times. I don’t know if you even notice it, but you’re always going out of your way to do little things to make me happy. You make me happy. But, like. I’m always the one that starts this. I’m always the one that asks, and, like. That’s chill… but it kind of feels - sometimes, at least - like it’s just me. Like I’m taking advantage. And I don’t want that for you. Or me. It just-”
He doesn’t finish the thought, and it hangs heavy between them in the quiet of the room. And Will… well, he should probably take a moment to think about their friendship and the possible repercussions and the fact that Derek Nurse is barely in his solar system, let alone sharing his gravity. But the thing is, this thing between them has never been about common sense or about making Derek happy. Because the thing is, Will is a selfish creature at heart.
This thing between them has always been about Will - what he wants and what he’s allowed himself to need.
And maybe it’s about time for Derek to know just how selfish Will can be.
He can feel the disappointment radiating from Derek when he pulls away, but it’s necessary. It’s so necessary. Because it’s only after Derek has let Will go that Will can turn around. And it’s only once he’s turned around that Will can open his arms - raise them as much as the space between them allows - and wait for Derek to take the hint.
They’ll have to talk about this later, but that’s a headache for another day.
Right now, Will’s content to hold his arms open for Derek - a silent plea for contact - for snuggles - for something more than he thinks friendship alone allows. It’s a plea that Derek answers immediately, arms wrapping around Will’s chest, face coming to rest in the join of Will’s shoulder and neck, and it’s perfect.
Sanada Nobuyuki/MC Fic Rated Teen for suggestive themes, mild food play and general yandere-ness. A oneshot of a character study of the latent yandere that is Sanada Nobuyuki.
I love Nobuyuki’s first ES. The drinking bit was problematic, to say the least but for me, it was mitigated because the way his MC is written. I love her, she impresses me and therefore, you can say that this little fic here is mostly focusing on her and the dynamics between her and the manipulative lord she ended up marrying. I’m mixing up some elements from Shigezane/Nobuyuki’s ES. This will be dialogue heavy. Oh, and Nobuyuki is an unrepentant manipulative bastard here, hahaha.
“I remember… it was just like this… that night,” she mumbled, pressing her face to his chest. “But I remember nothing else.”
Of course, she would not.
Their kiss then had started tentatively, with him taking advantage of catching a drop of amazake spilling out the corner of her mouth. Their kiss then was sweet with alcohol instead of fresh fruit.
Their kiss then had ended chastely with her falling asleep.
But he had made it appear like so much more. He had made it into a leverage to blackmail her into becoming his bride. He had claimed to have planted his seed in her. Then he had claimed her hand and her mother’s blessing.
“I took advantage of you.” I truly did.
“We’re drunk…” she mumbled into his chest.
“Yes, we were.” No, you were. I made you.
“Maybe, I took advantage of you…”
He chuckled. Because she had not.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” she looked at him, her eyes began to glaze with tears. “That’s what they’ve been saying.”
His smile vanished. “Who told you that?”
She buried her face on his chest, refusing to say.
He enveloped her in his arms, and gently rocked her, soothing her.
“You shouldn’t listen to the servant’s idle chatter.” He would find these gossip-mongers and have them flogged and exiled.
“But.. But, Milord. Don’t you see? I could very well have done that. I could not remember a thing!” she sobbed. “A-and of course they would think of me so…I am a commoner weaseling my way to your bed and here I am named as your would-be wife like it was nothing! You don’t even know if I have your child inside of me.”
No. He did know. She could not have had his child inside her belly. Because he had never planted his seed in her.