everything you have ever wanted

mom: so how’s college going?
me:
me:
me: great

i. she is the first thing i see in the morning, and she is all tangled hair and dark eyes and stretching legs and white sheets and tired smiles. i look at her and see everything i have ever wanted and i think WHY DID YOU BREAK HER HEART?

ii. i dance with her at midnight in the middle of a stranger crowd. she is laughing and her voice is breaking as she chants the words to a song that will always remind me of her. i hear that voice and all i want is for it to whisper my name, and i think WHY DID YOU BREAK HER HEART?

iii. she cries to me on the phone at 3am, and i bite my nails and beg for a way to ease this pain she is feeling, a way to comfort her and love her the way she needs me to. every sob is ice through my chest and i think WHY DID YOU BREAK HER HEART?

iv. we are silent as we drink our coffee and read our books, inhaling the burning fire and this mornings perfume and nothing but passion and passion for each other. she’s wearing her glasses and she drags her eyes from her novel to look into mine, and i think WHY DID YOU BREAK HER HEART?

—  you left her in pieces, but i will fix her | j.r.
  • Mary: Oh, God. John, I think this is it
  • John: No, no, no, no. It's not. That's
  • Mary: You made me so happy. You gave me everything I could ever, ever have wanted.
  • John: Shhhh, Mary, Mary, shhh
  • Mary: Look after Rosie. Promise me.
  • John: I promise
  • Mary: No
  • John: Yes, I promise
  • Mary: Promise me!
  • John: I promise, I promise. Shhh
  • Mary: Hey, Sherlock. I so like you. Did I ever tell you
  • Sherlock: Yes, yes, you did
  • Mary: I'm sorry for… for shooting you that time. I'm really sorry.
  • Sherlock: It's all right
  • Mary: I think we're even now, OK?
  • Sherlock: Ok.
  • Mary: Oh, I think we're…
  • John: Mary, Mary…
  • Mary: even, definitely even
  • Mary: You were my whole world. Being Mary Watson… was the only life worth living.
  • John: Mary…
  • Mary: Thank you
Love would be...

Aries:  12-hour drives where you two would sing mainstream pop songs into the distant horizon

Taurus:  Revealing your ugliest sides around them because you know they’d stay with you regardless

Gemini:  The security you enjoy knowing that you’re not alone, and that you’re waiting for someone to come home 

Cancer:  Not defined by whether or not you share a bed with someone, but simply if someone still felt that close 

Leo:  Having the knowledge that you indeed didn’t get everything you ever wanted, but you have someone and that someone turned out to be more than enough

Virgo:  A comfort you’d feel knowing that if you were to call a phone, someone would pick up on the other end of that line 

Libra:  A sensation that feels like your slowly drifting across a sea of iridescent stars

Scorpio:  Falling asleep with them as you text each other to 4 in the morning

Sagittarius:  A mutual trust where if you were to fall backwards, you’d know the other would be there to cushion your fall

Capricorn:  Caring about that other person knowing full well that you have betrayed other priorities in order to do so 

Aquarius:  Finding someone who’s able to carry themselves in scintillating conversations as well as you do 

Pisces:  Blushing and involuntary smiling just at the thought of them smiling at you back

How can I make you understand
That you are everything
I have ever wanted

Learning to read was hard for Cass.  Interpreting the written word is far different from interpreting body language, and Cass’s brain is wired differently as a result of her abusive childhood.  But after Cass had to ask Steph to read a ransom note aloud in order to continue chasing down criminals (Batgirl vol. 2), she realized that knowing how to read would be useful.

[Batgirl #67]

Because of Cass’s learning disability, it takes her a long time to make significant progress.  Babs coaches her and explores different methods of learning, and eventually Cass is able to read full length novels (albeit slowly).  When Cass did learn how to read, she fell in love with books.  A well-written book is far less predictable than a person, and Cass loved how words seemed to make places and characters come alive in her head.  She would read anything from historical fiction to high fantasy, but quickly became able to tell when a story was poorly written.  The characters would seem less real, and the words wouldn’t flow as easily.  Cass began to spend a lot of free time in the library, and Babs would point out good books that she remembered from her time as a librarian.  Tim also had quite a repertoire of books from his childhood, since he needed something to entertain himself with when his parents were away.  He let Cass have free reign of his collection and gave her recommendations.  The rest of the batfamily also began to gift her books that they enjoyed when they learned about her new passion.

Cass never grew tired of how written words could somehow transform into people as though personalities were interwoven into pages.  She marveled at how she could spend hours completely immersed in a story, oblivious to the world around her (or as oblivious as she can get with her skills).  Books had opened up entire worlds for her.  She secretly hoped that someday she would be able to create worlds of her own.    

i think one of the most important things i’ve ever learned is this:

they could be the most perfect person in the world. they could be your soulmate and the match could be made in Heaven. the two of you together could be bliss and you could be the most compatible two souls to ever exist. they could have everything you could ever want in a partner, and more. you could see yourself with them for life. 

and yet still you may have to say goodbye. relationships will end, for better or for worse. you may search a million possibilities as to why you could not be together. but in the end, you’ll simply realize that no matter how good two people are together, you will not have forever if it was not meant to be. 

[2]

NO YUP. ACTUAL TEARS. 

OKAY. 

OKAY. 

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. LET ME WORD A THING.

Because this is Tomoyo. 

From a meta point of view, Tomoyo in CCS was always the most Feminine™ main character who often needed to be saved by Sakura. This was never a problem because Sakura herself was a strong (if not perfect) symbol of how girls can be strong and incredible and endlessly caring and save the day through their own potential every single time. Sakura is so important and I will never stop ranting about that, but Tomoyo was always undeniably the most feminine of the two - still incredible (I MEAN HI HAVE YOU MET ME) but of the three female mains, she was always a support character, very seldom able to defend herself, always the outsider filming the incredible events from behind a lens. I have no problem with all of that, because Tomoyo has her own strengths, which I will happily talk about until the end of time. 

BUT THEN WE HAVE THIS. 

WE HAVE TOMOYO WITH A GUN. And this is important because, like I mentioned in the previous post, Tomoyo has ALREADY been established in this world as powerful and incredible in so so many ways. Through her own talents she’s arguably the most important person in this entire country. She has an elite squad of bodyguards with her at all times. 

But she doesn’t need them. 

We have Tomoyo with a gun ready and trained to use it if she needs to, but best of all she ran from the protection of her bodyguards at the first sign of danger

To Protect Sakura herself. 

Not as a flimsy last line of defense, but as a force to be reckoned with in her own right. 

And this is the complete and well deserved inversion of Cardcaptor Sakura. Because now we have TOMOYO, powerful important Piffle President Tomoyo, throwing herself in harms way WITH A GUN to protect Sakura at all costs. It’s perfect and it’s beautiful and brings it all full circle. There are no downsides to Tomoyo’s femininity anymore. She isn’t excluded from the fight because she isn’t as athletic as Sakura or Meiling. She isn’t willing to stay behind her security team as is sensible for her station. She is feminine and powerful and she will absolutely shoot Kyle Rondary in the face if he stands in front of her right now. 

WOULD YOU LIKE MORE I HAVE MORE. 

Throughout all of Tsubasa we have been trained (with good reason and endless examples) to expect the male characters to react first. Whenever anything bad happens, Syaoran will defend Sakura, or Kurogane will defend Sakura. Possibly Fai too. I don’t remember any examples of that, but that in itself reinforces just how much we have been told we should believe in Syaoran and Kurogane’s abilities. Now please note that Syaoran and Kurogane (and Fai) are ALL IN THIS ROOM. They are all right here. Syaoran is right next to Sakura, defending her from the blast. But who is the first person to grab a weapon and stand in front of Sakura?

TOMOYO. Tomoyo beat them all to it. 

Even more specifically, with Kurogane, who’s life purpose is to defend Tomoyo, you’d expect him to be the one to get here first - if not to protect Tomoyo herself (because its not his Tomoyo, but also she’s already being guarded) then Sakura for sure. But still no. Piffle President Tomoyo beat Princess Guardian Kurogane hands down.

For a lot of reasons, the first part of Tsubasa had a significant lack of female characters who were active and battle worthy and able to defend themselves. I’m not going to go into the reasons why here, because hell this post long enough already, but it was undeniably a Thing. It got better over time, slowly and gradually if always slightly hesitantly, but now that we have TOMOYO WITH A GUN I think I can finally sit back, content that there is a world where TOMOYO, the most feminine of them all, is the one to finally be a shining example of the power of women. 

And I could not be happier.   

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

unusual asks

send me a number!

1. if you were to hire someone to make a soundtrack for your life, or a personal theme that played in the background, who would you pick?

2. describe yourself using fictional characters?

3. which fictional character best represents you?

4. what colour would you imagine yourself as? any reason?

5. if you had to pick a song that described what you were thinking and/or feeling at the moment, what would it be?

6. do you ever think of a place that doesn’t exist? what does it look like?

7. what would your ideal landscape look like?

8. if you could change your birthday to any day, what would you change it to?

9. you have ten words to say everything you’ve ever wanted to say, and the the entire world is listening- what would they be?

10. if you could only go to one person for the rest of your life to help you with your problems, who would it be?

11. what do you think are the purest, most intangibly beautiful moments/memories/things in life?

12. if your life was a song, which song would it be?

13. if someone had to narrate your life, who would do it?

14. what is the one thing you are happy to be? the one thing you’ll never change about yourself?

15. if you could only get a single tattoo in your entire life, what would it be and why?

16. when do you know things will be okay? who and what makes you know that everything will be just fine?

17. what do your favourite things make you feel?

18. what are your passions? what makes you so passionate about them?

19. what are you curious about? why? what lights that spark of curiosity in you?

We crashed together because we were two independent objects, lost and wandering aimlessly as we were thrown through space, and gravity decided that we were destined to become one.
We melded and melted, pushed and pulled the smallest of our pieces to fit one another when we were never supposed to fit like puzzle pieces. I was whole before you, and I am whole now.
We were flung apart when her lips pressed to yours. Like when the moon was formed from an asteroid she came hurdling into our love and pushed me away from, like I was nothing. I am nothing.
We were once together like glue, our worlds beautifully revolving around each other but I was shoved to the edge of your gravitational pull, close enough to watch you evolve into your peak, far enough away to never feel the life you once gave me.
—  I am the moon, and you are everything I have ever wanted.

You want to know a secret?

I have never, ever been drunk on alcohol. I’ve always wondered how people could feel so elated and light and lose control by just consuming some liquid, because it’s never happened to me.

You want to know a secret?

Every time I told you not to drink so much and not to call me when you’re drunk, I know you thought I’m a “good” girl who steers clear of alcohol, but no. I’ve tried everything: wine, beer, whiskey, vodka, champagne, rum…everything. But not once have I ever felt even slightly tipsy.

You want to know a secret?

I’ve never seen anyone hold their drink better than my father, so I guess it’s in my genes. But sometimes it frustrates me so much that I can’t get drunk, that I can’t forget about all the problems even momentarily. It drives me mad to the point that I come to think that nobody really gets drunk, everyone is just pretending. Oh, I know it’s ridiculous.

You want to know a secret?

I’ve only ever been drunk on you.

— 

@scribbled-in-notebooks

You have your whiskey, I have you.