everything worth doing starts with fear

@spellfire01 wanted headcanons about Remadora after a full moon, what happens and what they do. I figured a post would be the easiest way to compile everything together.

  • Remus took a long time before he would let her anywhere near him after one of his moons. Not out of a fear of hurting her, because the moon is over–but a mixture of pride (I can handle this myself, it’s my burden) and a mixture of worry (If she sees and decides it’s too much, could she decide he isn’t worth it, could she start to fear him? So much could go wrong. It’s too much. It’s easier just to keep the distance.)
  • But eventually, she coaxes him into coming to her place afterwards instead of crashing at his own. She wants to prove both to herself and to hum that they can do this as a team, even if it isn’t the way the Marauders did it. And she works hard to have everything ready.
  • When he shows up a little after dawn, bleeding and raw, she realizes that she was not ready–that she never could have been, because she had seen him after a moon before but never so soon, never up close. Never like this. But she shoves her tears down into the pit of her stomach and exchanges them for an uncharacteristic grace and gentleness. She bites her panicked tongue and breathes, because she has to be strong. She lets him lead, asking him what she can do rather than offering. After all, he does know what to do. He keeps stopping halfway through things, though. She catches him focusing much too long on the strings of his pajama pants. His eyes are a bit glossy, his hands don’t stop shaking, and he looks so lost. She has to brush his arm lightly to bring him back into focus, though it makes everything in her ache because every scar is highlighted against his ghost-pale skin and where there isn’t angry red there is black, blue, purple. His eyes are so tired.
  • They get into a routine after a while, though, as their relationship and trust deepens.
  • She has little cotton balls and such to help him clean up, because whenever he can he likes to shower and clean up before he sleeps. He knows it will help him feel better faster. So together they sit at the table or he sits on the toilet lid and she dabs healing ointment on the bad spots. She might also find a sore spot under the skin and massage the knot back into compliance.
  • She has decaff tea that she bought at a Muggle store kept warm with a charm, and she makes sure he has that and some cold water on the bedside table so he can have what he needs. He can’t handle anything more complex for a good day or so, and he sticks with water, tea, or broths, maybe light solids if he’s doing well. Tonks doesn’t eat either, she’s too into her task and sick with worry. Neither of them have slept, but Remus doesn’t need to know what she goes through when he has enough on his plate, thankyouverymuch.
  • They share a bed now, and he falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow. Tonks stays awake to make sure he’s comfortable, getting close to him and observing how sleep takes the stress lines from his face and makes him appear younger. She can trace all his scars like this, but she chooses to sent her hand up and down his spine. She rubs his shoulders, his neck, runs her fingers through his hair–all as gently as possible, and all to listen to his breathing slow even further as he relaxes in his sleep. The sound is better than any music, and it makes her unbelievably content. She goes to sleep beside him, holding him, with her face in his neck. And the tea is still hot in the late afternoon when they both wake up and smile at the sight of the other.
“Oh you’re a hockey fan, then what’s icing?”

I’d like to preface this by saying that your ability to answer this question does not decide whether you’re a “good” hockey fan or no. But getting this question when you don’t know the answer can be disarming! So i’m here to help! not so you can prove your worth as a hockey fan but so when some fuckboy asks you this you can roll your eyes and go “what do you think i put on my cupcakes?” without fear making you stutter or whatever. 

Icing is something i always vaguely understood but didn’t fully get until i started playing NHL on my PlayStation. I always knew it was something like flinging the puck down the ice for too long but everything i googled was too convoluted. Once i got it though I wasn’t sure WHY all the explanations are so complicated because the actual act of icing is simple af. Seriously, i learned more from a graphic than any article on the subject.

 This is my fav graphic explaining icing:

So to explain this simply, person A is not committing an icing (most likely a dump in) but person B is committing an icing. The green circles represent the players, the black lines represent the puck. So basically, icing is when the puck crosses these TWO red lines on the rink, your centre ice line and the opposing teams goal line. that’s it. that’s icing. 

n the NHL there’s this thing called No-TOuch Icing where the defensive player must get to the puck first to get the icing call (this is usually what happens). However, if an offensive player gets to the puck first the icing is called off. in Simpler terms, if the Bruins shot the puck into the habs zone and the habs got to it first there would be icing but if a Bruins player did the icing would be waved off. most other leagues call icing regardless of who touches the puck.

Hybrid icing is another NHL thing that is put in place to protect players. You can probably imagine how dangerous it would be to race a guy full force into the end boards as there isn’t a lot of space between the goal line and the boards. So hybrid icing allows for a ref to call an icing if one player is very obviously closer to the puck than another by the time they reach the imaginary red line created by the two face off dots near the goal. 

a few more things:

  • Icing can only be committed towards the opposing teams goalie.
  • If you are on a penalty kill icing is allowed for your team only. Which is why you’ll see guys on the penalty kill just shoot the puck as hard as they can out of the zone and not get called for it. 
  • when an icing is called, a face-off occurs in front of the goalie of the offending team (in the defensive zone)
  • after an icing is called the team who iced the puck cannot change their lines and the opposing team almost always will change their lines. 

anonymous asked:

How will I find a job as a game developer? I am very worried about this, because I am probably going to start a university degree in game design and development soon. But once I have everything and I'm ready to go, what do I do? Where do I find it? I have a huge fear of "my dream job" not being possible or safe, is it true what they say that studying and wanting to be a game developer isn't safe?

Assuming you’ve built a decent resume and feel confident enough in your skills to secure employment in the industry, you need to start approaching companies to convince them you’re worth hiring. There are many ways to apply for positions in the gaming industry. I’ll list the more common ones, ranked by the likelihood of getting a callback from lowest to highest. Most of this is via personal experience (I’ve got a lot of experience looking for work in the industry) and not statistical, so your mileage may vary.

#8. Unsolicited application with no opening listed via company website

You go to the company website you want to work for, don’t see any listings for something that might fit, but click the ‘Send us your resume anyway” link. I’ve think I’ve gotten a single response this way in all my situations looking for work. It’s better than nothing, but not much. This is the least likely way to get a response. Most of the time, it’s the equivalent of tossing your resume into the trash.

#7. Application to a posting on company website

This is usually where a lot of newbies try it first. Not really knowing where to go, they’ll write up a cover letter and send it with their resume to the company’s website for a specific job posting. Sometimes it works. Most times it doesn’t. Studio websites can often go for long periods of time without updating the job openings. I remember seeing the same openings listed at a studio website for weeks after they had massive layoffs. You might get lucky, but most of the time your response rate will be little higher than #8.

#6. Oh, I know a guy who works for…

A random friend might know somebody (who knows somebody) who works at a game studio, but not necessarily someone related to your field. This usually also ends up being a dead end since a friend of a friend might not have any insight or particular loyalty to a candidate who knows somebody who knows her. Unless that artist knows you and can vet you, this is only a slight step above “apply at the website” because that person really doesn’t have much reason to care. Without a reason to pull for you, your resume will most likely get put onto the pile with all the others.

#5. Application via specialized job aggregator sites (e.g. Gamasutra, Creativeheads, LinkedIn, Monster, etc.)

Applying via job aggregator sites is usually a step above applying via the company’s website. The benefit of going to a job aggregator is that you can see the posted update date, as well as see multiple postings from multiple potential employers in the field. It also means that the job opening is (most likely) live, because a recruiter from the hiring company actively posted those openings up to be filled. The older the posting, the less likely you’ll get a response.

#4. Recruiters at Job Fairs/Industry Events

The game industry will host events every so often like E3, GDC, Gamescom, etc. At some of these events like GDC, there will often be a recruiting section where studios with job openings will be accepting resumes and handling interviews behind closed doors for special candidates. Larger publishers or studios will also often host job fairs at local universities for things like internships for students. These present a great opportunity to interact directly with a human being who’s there to speak to candidates. You won’t always get a callback - it still depends on what openings they are hiring for and your experience level - but you’ll be able to shake hands with someone and ask questions of a real live person. You can also get some near-instant responses - if they want to talk to you, you’ll usually get an invite to come back to talk with a hiring manager, or possibly even an invitation to a party. Even if you don’t get these, it’s a good way to get your resume directly into the hands of hiring managers, especially those you may not have heard of or considered before.

#3. Industry Headhunters

There’s a number of staffing talent agencies out there who seek to match hiring managers with candidates. These headhunters get paid based on whether the opening gets filled, so they may push you towards jobs you may not necessarily want in hopes of getting you a job and get paid. That said, they have direct connections to hiring managers and their paycheck hinges on getting you a paying job, so they are a good way to find a job at a studio that needs someone with your skillset. It might not be a studio you were thinking of, or the job you imagined, but headhunters are a great way to get opportunities that you wouldn’t have thought of on your own.

#2. Studio Recruiters

Sometimes the recruiters will reach out to you. This usually doesn’t happen to people looking for entry level jobs, but even a single shipped game or some amount of relevant experience will get you the occasional recruiter looking to fill an opening. If they contact you, it will generally be because you posted your information somewhere liked LinkedIn and they think you might be a decent fit as a candidate for an opening they have. 

#1. A friend on the inside

Similar to #8 above, but when you actually know somebody who works at the studio (optimally in a development capacity) and can vouch for you. This is probably the best way to make sure that your resume gets seen by the right person, and often it’s a win-win situation since your friend will likely get some sort of monetary bonus if you get hired. That said, this isn’t available for everybody. It’s just the way you have the highest chance of getting a response.

Overall, it’s really about finding the companies that are hiring, and matching up your expertise with the right opening. As with any beginning endeavor, try to avoid being super picky right out of the gate. You might have your heart set on working for Blizzard, Bioware, Ubisoft, Rockstar, Bethesda, or some other famous AAA studio, but there are a lot of other people who want to work for them too. Concentrate on finding a job and building your experience and skillset instead of holding out for your dream job right out of the gate. And remember - even if you get a callback about a possible job, you still need to actually pass the tests and interview process to get the offer. This is just the initial approach to the entire process of the job hunt.

Lost // worth-ahunderedsoldiers

Levi paced around his dormroom, staring at nothing. All he could feel was his feet hitting the floor. Everything felt so trapped around him and it made him feel like screaming. The tight grip of fear around his neck and the dizzying feeling he got every time he thought about having to do something. He let out a shaking breath as he stopped pacing. He stared at the wall before giving a little whine. It felt like he was going to throw up, his hands were shaking and the fear of falling behind was starting to get to him.

He moved and grabbed his jacket, phone, and slid on his shoes. Levi was out of his dorm room within seconds. He made his way down the messy hall, glaring at people as they passed. Every single one of them was staring at him. He snarled and quickly went down the hall.

His feet led him and he ended up in front of her dorm room. Taking in a deep breath he knocked on the door.

“Please be here…” he muttered, trying to calm his shaking.


maybe i’m not worth it. maybe i don’t deserve to be loved and i don’t deserve anyone. i thought that no one would love me the way i wanted to be loved.  you never felt anything for me. i feel so unwanted and every time i am trying to engage myself to anyone my fear is staring to envelope me. and when you leave, i start believing believing that once they are gone, so is everything they felt. i am so afraid, i think i will never be good enough. i’m starting to doubt everyone around me, thinking they will do the same thing. i feel like i am a precious glass and with just one wrong move, i am going to break into tiny pieces and once it happened i will never be whole again.
—  this is what you made me feel after you walked away.