everything is so full of life

after years of being picked on by my mom, treated terribly, bullied by her words, and so much more i finally stood up for myself this last week. I finally let her know how much she’s done to hurt me in my life and that i wanted to live with my dad full time until i get an apartment to myself. Being the person i am, i was still going to let her use my ticket boosts account to buy her and her friend Rep tickets since the person I’m going with is buying my ticket, so i don’t need my account. Only to call her and find out that it kept going to voicemail. My brother told me she blocked me on everything. Just…why? Why do i feel like the adult in the family and she’s the one i have to keep track of and blow off all she does to me? It’s not fair.

HEART OF GOLD

*sun is how you think, moon is how you feel, venus is how you love*

Aries The Velocity. When you’re with her, her heart pumps adrenaline straight into your veins. She is the arms you fall into when the rush becomes too much. You never knew someone with such a hard head could have a heart this soft. She’ll light you on fire until you get used to the burn, until her jarring touch is as soft as feathers. And she will help you up every time, you take her hand and it’s like being in a freefall but it’s okay because you’re not alone. What she want’s deep down is someone who can run wild with her. You lose her the moment you try to control her. Don’t. Just enjoy the ride, for it’s one of a kind.

Taurus The Mystic. She is the vivacity of the living, the one who defies gravity. Her heart floating around her body makes you believe in magic. The kind everyone wants to experience. She pops her gum and tells you to put your money where your mouth is. So you rip your chest open, the blood of your beating heart splattering onto her lips. She cradles you in her arms, your worship inducing a heartfelt laughter that echoes through the vertigo of your final moment. “You did good.” she whispers, and at last you are at peace.

Gemini The Dandelion, her soaring heart tied to a string. She’ll rock you ultra slowly until you feel you could fade away into nothing, and live forever amongst the clouds. She demands you show her everything you have to give, before she even much as gives you a smile. The quest for her heart is for only the brave. She doesn’t mind what people say, the one who she calls hers has to be unyielding. So she won’t feel so liquid all the time.

Cancer The Lighthouse. Her satin heart is safely kept, for the one who will finally be worthy. But for now she will dance, she will dance with every angel until she finds the one with the shy smile and the softest curls. At night she tells the Moon all her secrets, and now she has a secret that makes her bones shiver and her lips tremble. She loves you, I promise. Just ask the Moon.

Leo Her heart is a cup overflowing with all things lovely, filling the hearts of others as easily as she fills her own. The Fountain of Youth. Hope, lust, tenderness. You can’t help but look at her in awe and think, “I am. Because of you.” The fear you try so hard to ignore is because she doesn’t need to prove her worthiness to anyone, you’re worried that someday she won’t need you. But if she loves you, you don’t need to be afraid. She will be with you when the world ends.

Virgo The Goddess. Her heart is a forest, full of life and mystery. She brings my soul to harmony in return for the respect she rightfully deserves. She cares for her world with everything she has, believing in the pure radiance of the noble hearted. Many might mistake her benevolence for weakness. However when she finds a bad seed, let’s just say nature can be a cruel master. After all she is the source of life and will not be exploited by the greedy. But to those who love with an open heart she gifts the vitality of spirit, and the liberation of the metaphysical mind.

Libra Her slow heartbeat echoes as it pulses against your palm, right through your bloodstream. She licks her lips and sways her hips to the rhythm. The Delilah. You cross your heart and close your eyes. “Open.” she whispers, and the cosmos had swallowed the pool table and barflies of the roadside dive. All you hear is her soft giggle and ocean waves crashing in slow motion. “Welcome to Eden.” You look around you, and you notice your blood isn’t vibrating anymore. You ask her how she found this place. She gently shakes her head with a smile on her lips and says, “Darling, you’re inside of me.”

Scorpio The Red Winged Angel, always under my skin. The beat of your heart vibrating through my system and I’m afraid that if you touch me I will shatter to a million pieces. Late at night I dream of finding someone as sensuelle as you. Sometimes I wonder how many hearts you own, even though I can’t quit you. I don’t know what I am addicted to more, your touch or the fact that you could disintegrate the earth from underneath me if you wanted to.

Sagittarius The Honeymoon. The fast moving gal who likes them slow. If you want her heart take her for a night drive. Show her the world through your eyes. Make her feel something she’s never felt before. Free yourself from the malevolent, open your chest and breathe her in. Give her the part of you that makes you human, and she will turn you into something ethereal.  

Capricorn The Empress. Class and a pure heart, and the international woman of mystery. And even though games don’t interest her, that don’t mean she doesn’t know how to play. No one does it like her. It’s almost painful how she works you, heightening all your senses with perfect impulse control. Engage at your own risk, because she will make you miss her more than anyone you’ve ever met. But if you want to love her, she’ll hold you down for life in hazy love daydream.

Aquarius I’ve seen her in my fantasies. The Extraterrestrial. She’ll waltz right into your love sphere like she owns the place, utterly unignorable. And then she’ll smile, like she has no fucking idea. And you wonder if she really doesn’t. She goes around granting all your wishes and you wonder, why she gives you the world but won’t let you feel her heart. And she will never tell you, because feelings are hard for robot girls. She is afraid she’s too cold inside. What she doesn’t realize is she loves enough for the entire universe, she is too busy electrifying other dimensions into existence. One day she’ll come back down to earth and see everyone around her on their knees.

Pisces She is the light that shines through the night. The Clair de Lune. You fall into her plush essence and she lets you, like a bug stuck in her amber heart. And you think how every moment of your life has brought you closer to this, to her. You finally understand the beauty of minimalism. Not every star needs to be possessed. Not every silence has to be filled. The most important things are the ones you can’t see with your eyes. Live for this. For the feeling.

it must have been a trip for Adam when he first met Gansey because this untouchable rich kid immediately unloads everything about his alternate life as a tomb raider trying to unearth the centuries-old mystery of Glendower and Adam is just, “sounds fake but i’m literally so starved of human interaction that i will now follow you to the ends of the earth in search of your super lost and super dead king”

It Takes A Long Time To Get Over Yourself


Oh, man. This letter has taken me an embarrassingly long time to write. Probably because I haven’t written anything but e-mails and Tweets for 12 years.

If the last year has taught me anything, it’s this: it takes a long time to get over yourself.

Last March, after 7 years on the road, I decided to take a break. I was excited about this. I’d imagined myself watching tv all day, being a “chill person”, eating doughnuts because I didn’t have to wear latex catsuits anymore. The reality was not quite the joy ride I’d been expecting.

I’ve been an artist for over a decade but up until this year, I hadn’t realised how much my sense of self had been defined by my role as an artist. I’d never thought of “Marina and the Diamonds” as a persona or a construct, and I didn’t think the stage-me was very different to the sofa-me. MATD was an exciting vehicle that helped me express ideas and thoughts to people. But just as people construct online personas, artist construct visual ones, and over time, the lines between art and reality can drift apart. 

I can’t remember when I first became conscious of it but I started to feel like there were two parts of me, artist self and private self, and there was nothing in between to link the two anymore. I was one or the other, and neither part of my personality could be present in the same environment. Perhaps because I’d spent most of the past 8 years devoted to being an artist and this hadn’t presented many opportunities for other parts of my personality to grow. When one part of a personality dominates, other parts shrink and life can take on an unreal, two-dimensional quality. I felt confused as to why I no longer felt like I fit into the world I’d built. I don’t think my feelings are exceptional (particularly in entertainment) but I wonder if you are someone who has experienced this in a different context.

I’ve always been interested in identity. In my twenties, I felt frustrated by how regularly my identity seemed to shift and change until I began to consider the idea that a fixed self may not exist. I explored this in “Electra Heart” by deconstructing aspects of female identity in a portrayal of female archetypes. However, the past year has made me re-examine this idea. Not being able to equate my identity to a job, project or visible entity has created a lot of discomfort and uncertainty in me. Which has been a surprise, as I thought I felt secure in myself. How can I be so sure of who I am if I am so susceptible to change? A lot of what contributes to our idea of identity is down to pure chance - ethnicity, social class, upbringing, religion, job, relationships - who are we without those influences?

Everything in western culture feels so geared towards self-definition, but I wonder if having a looser idea of yourself could make life richer. The past year hasn’t been full of rainbows - I feel like my brain has been brutally rewired - but letting go of a perceived idea of myself has resulted in a new kind of personal freedom. My image is no longer a main source of identity, nor are previous signifiers like clothing (more on this in a future post), designer brands + other things I subconsciously used to define myself.

Lasting change rarely happens over night. This past year has been painful and slow. But I’m in a more genuine space than I was a year ago and I would never want to go back to that stunted way of being again. In fact, the only solace I had in this period was being able to read the books and blogs of other people experiencing significant life transitions, so I hope this might be of help to anyone who is going through a similar stage.

Truth is, I’m not planning ahead much right now. I am indeed going through my “what should I do with the rest of my life” phase that most people go through at 21. Which is… cool. But I’m grateful to have the opportunity to explore different interests, and starting marinabook is a part of that. I’m starting a Psychology course soon, which I am SO excited about, and I’m ready for a brand new chapter. I hope you’ll be a part of it.

Some people have been asking about new music and I’m always flattered to be asked. I know one year is like an aeon in digital time! The honest answer is I don’t know when that will be, but the connection I have with music has always flowered from an honest connection with myself, and I trust my instincts. Whenever I get back on stage again, I would love to feel like I am the sum of my parts, not the sum of a persona or an image. That’s the goal. A lot of reality with a little bit of fantasy. So, marinabook is a way for us to stay connected while I work that out.

I miss you all!

Ask a question or share thoughts here.

Love from,
Marina

Further Reading

Brilliant explanation of personas here. 5 minute read.

Podcast on how our views about the Self affect our views on death.  By “Philosophy Bites”.  15 minutes.

Illustration by Lan Truong

i really did everything i could to avoid doing this but

i’m a lesbian who was kicked out as a teenager and pretty much completely disowned – i’m 25 now and i’ve been poor as dirt (last year was the first year my income was above the poverty line) the last 7+ years. i worked two jobs, went to school and worked full time, and moved across the country twice with little to no help from my family. even now i make minimum wage with tips. i’m not well off – just as responsible as i can be.

now that i’m 25 i can finally go to school since i don’t have to report my “family” income. based on my own income, pell grants will cover almost all of my school expenses, and working part time + student loans should cover most of my living expenses.

however, i’m going to lose my health insurance in 2 months. i’m nearly out of dental already. i don’t know what i can do yet, because my financial aid for school has been put through the verification process for months and months and lots of paperwork and i don’t know what my period grant is exactly or what kind of student loans i’m applicable for. on top of that, i have to pay $1,130.00 to my University out of pocket because financial aid didn’t come through in time.

i’ve never worked less than full time – in the decade i’ve spent much of it working 2 jobs – but now i’m going less than part time and my job i’ve worked for years won’t even give me so much as health insurance. i’m very scared and i feel like i’m jumping off of a cliff.

i do have credit cards, but with no health insurance and only a part time job i need them for emergencies only. $1k+ is enough to stress my credit out horribly, and i have absolutely no fallback plan. i’m an adult survivor of an abusive homophobic family taking a huge risk by finally going to college like i’ve always wanted to.

i know this is the best thing for me, and i know that my life will improve so much with a degree – and eventually my JD – and i know that i have the potential to do this. i think i might be able to survive on my student loans. but right now… i have absolutely no information. right now im going in blind. and i know this is the best choice for me, but i don’t want to end up struggling or to have everything fall through because of my low income. i make minimum wage (+ tips) and even full time i don’t even know if i can afford books. my father doesn’t speak to me and my mom has nothing she can give me.

my paypal is wishbyspirit@yahoo.com and my squarecash is $wishbyspirit

i’m a lesbian survivor who has lived through hell and is finally trying to do what i know is best for me, but it’s terrifying. everything helps. this is the biggest risk i’ve ever taken in my life, and i’ve sworn to myself that i’ll never be homeless or struggling to eat again, because those struggles have been a reality for years of my life.

thank you all for everything in advance. i appreciate all of the help i can get.

teen wolf as types of moms

scott mccall

  • soccer mom af
  • helps his kids with their projects and assignments
  • somehow manages kids, spouse, and work all at once
  • shows up at every one of his kid’s recitals or games or whatever
  • always has a full container of brownies or cookies in the car
  • prepared for everything
  • organized af
  • claps a little too loudly at his kid’s dance recital
  • shows off his kids to his coworkers all the time
  • all the other moms are jealous of him

stiles stilinski

  • helicopter mom
  • he’d just be so worried about his kids after all he’s been through in his life
  • no sunscreen under spf 70
  • super nosy
  • thinks of worst-case scenarios first
  • “i told you so"
  • attends every teacher-parent interview
  • can turn a playful conversation into a lecture in under 2 seconds
  • his kids sometimes feel like he doesn’t give them enough space
  • but they know that he means well for them

malia hale

  • hot mess mom
  • forgets she has kids sometimes
  • forgets important events
  • “i thought your hockey game was next week?”
  • “mom, you said that last week.”
  • accidentally gave her children dog treats instead of crackers to school
  • always running late
  • coffee in her hand 24/7
  • ready-made dinners
  • forgets to make cupcakes for bakesales so she brings storebought ones and says that their her own

lydia martin

  • cool mom
  • hot mom
  • is v laidback
  • “kids will always be kids”
  • does hot yoga
  • she guides her kids, not control them
  • a tough discipliner
  • doesn’t approve of disrespect
  • all her kids’ friends want her as their mom
  • dresses her kids in only hermes, YSL, lacoste, burberry, prada, gucci, chanel, and/or armani
Aries: I envy you. I envy your courage, your stupidity and your childishness. Maybe you’re asking “Why?” Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were all children at heart, like you? Like seeing things so horrible yet still making corny jokes? Like telling your feelings, like running until your feet hurt? Like purity, like innocence mixed with knowledge? You have experienced the world, you have experienced life. And yet, you still stand here. Brave and tall. As if to say “I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid to live.”

Taurus: I will always associate you with flowers and colours. With lilies and roses and blood oranges. I will always associate you with fruit and red-green-yellow. We will speak in colours, talk in words others won’t understand. With red-pink sand and blue-green eyes. An encouraging nod, a hug with clasping hands. Words left unspoken simply ‘cause they were never meant to be said, they were meant to be. They were meant to be. Plucking petals like a grade schooler playing games about love. Holding a magnifying glass over your head, and I could not find a flaw. I just saw you. I saw you.

Gemini: While you drink in the melodies of everyone’s laughter the ghosts find a new home inside your body. A facade of performance, masking out your true emotions. While the hallways turn vacant and your ghosts shut the doors. The voices leave the room empty, the emptiness in your chest weighing like a brick worth thousands of diamonds. I cannot put a price on your heart, I don’t know its colours. I don’t know its voice. Or the three albums you have on repeat over the summer, or the songs you dance to at night. Simply because you are you, unique, mysterious and beautiful.

Cancer: You are a puzzle and I am not your missing peace, I don’t own it. But you do. You make up your own being. Maybe you left it in your back pocket, next to the shattered dreams or under the pillars you build when you were eight years old. The ones you made to put your broken home on, searching for stability in broken mirrors. I will linger in my map of you and I swear that even when I get back it leads back to you. It always leads back to you. To that little house with orange paint on the walls from ten years ago. With the nicotine sticking to a once white ceiling and some kind of animals running around. The dusty photographs will still stand on the desk. You will still sit on that one spot, with teary eyes and crossed legs. And you will still be beautiful.

Leo: I could never describe your beauty. Your beauty cannot be multiplied, it can only be remembered, treasured, envied, appreciated or regretted. And by remembered I mean that when you feel like you are just another extra in someone’s life that they will mention you to their parents during dinner. They will talk about your shining personality and sparkling eyes. By treasured I am talking about that “the one” experience which you deserve. A treasure filled with all things unique and irreplaceable. One that’s filled with happiness. By envied I am talking about the eyes you do not see, or do not wish to see. Or don’t notice. You stand out in a crowd, especially when you don’t think you are. By appreciated I am talking about the ones who see your true you, your tangled hair and cracked lips. The ones who still stay even through the bad times. By regretted I am talking about the people who did not see your beauty until you blossomed. I understand why you find cocoons beautiful now, and how you like caterpillars just as much as butterflies.

Virgo: Snow litters on untouched skin. Sun rains through the cracks of the darkness even where you hide. I could hear you talking every day. Forever. With delicate fingers and blushed cheeks. Your hair untamed and your fingers bruised to the bone. Delicately logical. The edges of the leafs of oak trees remind me of your way of thinking. The overhang reminds me of your mind. Which casts shadows over the villagers in the houses you build where colourless souls reside. You are so often in debate with your own head, at war with your own body. Never at peace, always restless. Always asking, “but why?” I don’t know. You like it, don’t you? Parading around in your own world? Sweet little soul in a world full of pain.

Libra: The bell of the church echoed through your head a little longer than it should’ve. It never was nice. We never played nice. We talked until our lips were dry and I stayed home when you were out cold. But memories don’t matter anymore do they darling? In this orchestra of harmonious noises where you are the leader of everything nothing can hurt you. I don’t know, I don’t know. And goddamnit I know you will try to push everything on yourself again. You always do. That’s just how you work. Why don’t you warm your hands on your own body for once? You don’t need another person to feel like you’re loved, you only need one. One whole, full, true person.

Scorpio: Everything seems darker these days. Charcoal coloured clouds are a daily thing. And your arms are always covered up along with your legs. Even in the summer the nights don’t seem as enchanting. Not when small bruises shaped like the bumps of your knuckles litter on your thighs. Self destructive lullabies, “I just need a friend, for once in my life.” A desire for someone to stay ripped from your lips. So I stayed by your side wondering, if you wanted me to stay or needed me to stay. Of course I could say you remind me of scarlet blood and bathroom tiles. But you also remind of the river I used to play in when I was nine. You also remind me of the necklace I got when my grandmother passed away. You remind me of memories, the good, the bad, the in-between. You remind me of life. Please keep on living.

Sagittarius: The reason that I didn’t cry when you left was because crying means letting go, or so you said. And I don’t want to let you go. I want you to be a part of me, forever. But I can’t do that, you would rot in the hell hole that is my mind. I can’t put you through more cruelty. I hate how I am the reason you cry on bad nights, do you still wonder if I miss you? I do. I do. I do. Regret was stronger than appreciation. But you’re so fucking strong. Your eyes still shine even when you’re sad. You think no one likes you yet you know that’s not true. You’re the reason I am alive. You let me experience pain, beauty, emotion. You let me live. You’re so much more than enough, sometimes I can’t even handle who you are. You are dazzling. But you could never control your heart, it always wandered over the streets of other people’s bodies.

Capricorn: When the sun sets over mountains and the houses made of glass shatter I will still see your name in the sky in neon lights. The little bugs in our home always wanted to be friends with you. They always sat on the tip of your nose with gentle smiles. I never envied you, I wish I treasured you. You are so simplistic and nice. Nice. Too underrated for your own good, no? Aren’t we all. Your hands will still be remembered by those you touched. You always leave some kind of mark that they don’t want to wash off. You have that affect on people. You make them drown their thoughts and hold their breath when you walk into a room. You are an old soul, but you know that. Why? You just do. Because you’re you. And nothing can change that or the late nights, the slowness or the fastness in your walk doesn’t matter for the right people. They will walk for you until they have blathers on their toes. If they don’t you know what to do.

Aquarius: Swirls of icy wind are always your accomplice. You’re cold, and beautiful; like snow. The wires always stick to your senses, they get stuck in between your backbone. They twist around your spine and plug into the back of your brain. You let other people control you like you’re a mindless puppet. I think the wires got the best of you. Whenever you speak your mind it says something beautiful and unique. You are original, not ordinary. I am sorry they teach you that being unique is bad and that you have to fit into this ‘ordinary’ world as an ‘ordinary’ person. Nothing is ordinary about you, not even your name. Your name says who you are as a person, if someone asks me to define you I will simply say your name, the definition of your personality is your name. Because your name is unique and so is your personality. Don’t let other people control you.

Pisces: The imaginary butterflies with the raven black wings told me about you. They tell me that your head is in a universe they have never seen, with all things beautiful and all things bad. They see you crying with your knees tugged up sometimes, hands in your hair as you hide beneath sheets of darkness. You write poetry with the blood in the sink and make galaxies with the stars you find inside other people their eyes. A gentle smile always embraces your lips, “So happy, yet so sad” they say. A mask is something you believe is beautiful, but I believe you are beautiful. The real you. Not the you who cautiously walks over this realm of sadness. Your moonlit hair is so silky, your sunlit eyes are so sad. Chin up little soldier.

—  Letters to the zodiac signs
The truth about zodiac signs 😤

Aries: THEY ARE NOT ANGRY! Wtf, when they are arguing they are so chill and they know their words so well! Fuck u underestimating people! Aries are so chill and dreamy and in their own universe! They have such a big heart but too scared to show it! They LOVE gossip but they want silence.

Taurus: ~I can’t say that they are not hungry~ BUT THEY HAVE SUCH BIG HEARTS! They love others and they sacrifice for others! They are crybabies and they want a big family of friends! Too innocent ! RUN IF THEY ARE ANGRY! One look and u could be dead 😨

Gemini: WE’re not two faced! WE’re not full of gossip and shit! We are loyal, we love and live with our hearts and sometimes with our brains! We love art and we love family, we want peace and quiet and WE WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD! We might get easily bored but that doesn’t mean we are BAD !

Cancer: IF THEY ARE THE CRYBABIES THAN I’M SANTA! They are SO MANLY ( even girls ), they are loyal and they will fight for the loved ones! So strong and full of courage! They have a heart and they love but because they love THEY ARE THE STRONGEST!

Leo: WTF BITCH?! If they are so proud and full of themselves WHY THEY HAVE SUCH A BIG HEART AND WHY THEY ARE WISE?? I’ve learned All my life lessons from LEOS ! WE NEED TO RESPECT THESE FIGHTERS AND INTELLIGENT PEOPLE!

Virgo: THEY ARE WORKAHOLIC AND THEY LOVE TO CLEAN UP EVERYTHING? YES! BUT FUCK IT! They are responsible ,intelligence ,beautiful, and they want stability and support! WE NEED TO LOVE THEM !

Libra: FAMILIST? YES! WANTS PEACE? YES! But they can beat your ass if u say something to their loved ones! They are fighters, they are THE ANGRY ONE! If someone disobeys THEY WILL PUT SOME RESPECT IN THAT PERSON!

Scorpio: If they are mysterious and sexy and so mature….fuck it I’M TINKERBELL NOW! They are childish and so soft and they put their hearts on a plate when they make a friend! They are NOT MYSTERIOUS AND SEXY THEY ARE SCARED TO BE HURT AND THEY WANT PEACE! They are good people!

Sagittarius: LOYAL AS FUCK! A CONSERVATOR! THEY are so cool and funny and GOOD ! Omg, I respect these people! I don’t know what to say! They are responsible, they are kind, they are beautiful persons! They are FLAWLESS!

Capricorn: ( ̄∀ ̄) if they LOVE TO work….no (unless they can make money out of their work)! They LOVE TO PARTY, to have a great time with their friends, to learn funny facts about our planet, THEY WANT TO FALL IN LOVE! They are so romantic and open minded! They want to take care of that someone special! I RESPECT THEM A LOT !

Aquarius: Let me tell u something, these creatures are not as humanitarian as people say…they are cold and MYSTERIOUS, they won’t open up….but truly, THEY ARE HURT, THEY SUFFER AND THEY WANT LOVE! THEY NEED TO BE LOVED ! ~I think I will make a blog “LET’s LOVE AQUARIUS”~ they NEED LOVE!

Pisces: Innocent…? FUCK U! No, they are not! They know so many kinky things and they are into dark things, THEY ARE NOT PINK , THEY ARE BLACK! They are loyal and good “mothers” but they are so cold to others, they cry ONLY IF THEY ARE ANGRY! They will beat u up with their look 👀 if u annoy them!

This is my personal opinion! Please don’t hate me :)

The Astrology Behind Visual King: Kim Taehyung

Sun in the 1st House

  • 🌟 a born superstar 🌟
  • these people walk with their heads held high  
    an imposing, regal presence. you know you’re dealing with royalty™
  • the sun is your true identity so people with it in the 1st house are very confident and self-assured!
  • charisma is in their second nature 
  • either friendly or quite intimidating, depending on rising sign
  • but usually very warm and inviting, others feels reinvigorated in their presence 

Originally posted by bwisou

  • the sun represent the father and male figures so people with this placement often have very masculine features 
  • and strongly resemble their father 

(his family is so precious i cri!!)

  • bones structure for daysss 📐📏
  • faces are symmetrical af how tf do you guys do that 
  • feline features 🐯🦁
  • above average height  
  • powerful eyebrows (have mercy)
  • and most importantly:
  • ☀️ sun kissed skin ☀️

Jupiter in the 1st House

  • jupiter rules youth, luck, and everything fun and playful 🌈
  • the biggest goofballs ever!!
  • a humorous demeanor
  • experts at making other laugh with their larger than life attitudes 
  • always have a mischievous glint in their eyes 
  • their overall movement is grande and carefree. very animated
  • speech and mannerisms 

Originally posted by btsftw

Originally posted by bwisou

  • jupiter also brings excess so you could they have a little extra junk in the trunk if u know what i mean ;)
  • a thicc bih 🍑💦💦
  • big huGE smiles that light up their entire face 💕💞💘
  • full, round faces 
  • tend to gain weight easily/weight often fluctuates
  • chubby cheeks! 🍞
  • large eyes, foreheads, and other big features 
  • exotic, ethereal looks, as if they come from a far away place 🍃
2

SECRET SESSIONS LONDON - MY STORY💕

13/10/17 (aka THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE)

okay so where do I begin…WOW.
okay so… on Monday October 3rd at 10:25pm, I was sitting on my phone in my room listening to holy ground and I was on twitter and BOOM. “TAYLOR NATION SENT YOU A DIRECT MESSAGE” I STARTED SHAKING AND CRYING WHEN I READ THE CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE I WAS SO CONFUSED BECAUSE THEY DONT EVEN FOLLOW ME (yes I’m still trying to work out technology ok) AND I FLIPPED OUT AND I RAN INTO MY MOMS ROOM SOBBING AND I TRIPPED OVER THE HOOVER BUT ITS OKAY. MY MOM WAS SAYING ALL SORTS OF THINGS LIKE SOMEONE MAY HAVE HACKED INTO TAYLOR NATIONS ACCOUNT (?????? idk). Anyway I died and my mind was a mess and I couldn’t control myself at all, I had knew what it usually meant when people got these messages and I explained everything to my mom ( she is genuinely worst-case-scenario-Christine ) and she started crying with happiness for me. THAT DAY WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED.

The next day October 4th at 5:27pm, I was (trying) to study when BOOM. I RECEIVED THE CALL. Ali phoned and told me about a special secret event on Friday the 13th of October and I was shaking so so much and could barely even talk but she was honestly the nicest ever (I noticed she said “wonderful” about a million times and I’m now so in love with that word). Side note: My mom still wasn’t really convinced this wasn’t a set up to get me kid napped but SHE FINALLY CALMED DOWN A LITTLE AND MEANWHILE I WAS SHAKING, CRYING AND BASICALLY DEAD.

Okay so then it was the waiting game…the days DRAGGED in as I found out a whole 10 DAYS before the event and I saw Taylor lurk people on tumblr/Instagram AND she liked the post about me and my best friend Eve. PEOPLE WERE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN ON THE 13TH AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE LIKE HELP ME WHATS GON HAPPEN.

Fast forward to Friday…so because I live in Glasgow I had to fly to London… I COULDNT SLEEP AT ALL AND I ONLY GOT 4 HOURS SLEEP LOL BECAUSE I GOT UP AT 4AM. We went to the airport and I was genuinely so nervous and excited about what could possibly be happening. We then got a bus and then a tube and wandered about Covent Garden and EVERYTHING kept reminding me of Taylor. We then got a tube and another bus ( NUMBER 13 ) to our hotel. I got really stressed out because I opened up my case and there was makeup spilt on my dress BUT MY MOM CAME TO THE RESCUE AND FIXED IT FOR ME. I curled my hair and fixed myself up then I went to out to the secret meeting point and recognized so many people from tumblr/twitter etc and it was SO surreal. ALSO A FEW PEOPLE CAME UP TO ME AND WERE LIKE OMG ABBIE I KNOW YOU AND THAT MADE ME FEEL SO SO SPECIAL SO I LOVE YOU FOR THAT IF THAT WAS YOU. We checked in and got really cool wristbands saying United Kingdom (IN THE REPUTATION FONT) I WAS ALREADY DEAD.

We went to drop off our bags and me and I met 2 beautiful, amazing girls called Emma ( @taylorsmusic ) and Flora ( @spoookyswift ) and we were FREAKING OUT TOGETHER. We just couldn’t comprehend that we could potentially meet our idol. We talked about everything and I genuinely think I have 2 new best friends for life. I LOVE YOU GUYS. We were on the last bus to leave so we waited foreverrrr and my nerves were building up so much and I was FULL ON ALL OVER SHOOK.

Everyone on the bus was SO EXCITED and we were all dying together. It was such a combination of nerves and excitement like I can’t even describe it. So we FINALLY arrived at our secret destination and were escorted to the entrance to be searched etc (there was a big box of socks for some reason and it made us laugh so just thought I’d add that in and also a few half finished smart water bottles👀).

Okay so then we went through to TAYLORS HOUSE. It was beautiful and there was so much food laid out and I had a REPUTATION COOKIE and CUSTOMIZED REPUTATION M&MS and CHICKEN TENDERS. Taylors playlist of the songs she loves was playing in the background and we were LOVING LIFE. (Side note: my mom loved the olives you put out taylor so thanks for that) So basically me, Emma and Flora were chilling together (we were not chill at all tho) and everything was fine THEN Flora goes “oh my god, that’s Scott” AND IM LIKE WTF AND WE ALL LOOK OVER AND DIE LIKE WHAT WAS HAPPENING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES THE KING OF GUITAR PICS WAS HERE. We went and spoke to more amazing people and life was good…THEN TREE COMES THROUGH AND IM LIKE WHATATSTSS THATS A LEGEND THEN NOT LONG AFTER THAT WE SEE ANDREA AND WE ALL DIED. I CRIED WHEN I SEEN ANDREA IDK WHY IT JUST GOT TOO MUCH AND SHES MY QUEEN. IT GENUINELY FELT LIKE A DREAM LIKE SURELY THIS WAS NOT REAL.

Finally, after a while, we went through to THE LIVING ROOM. YES. A CHAIR. A SPEAKER. WE ALL KNEW WHAT THIS WAS. ME, EMMA AND FLORA HAD A LITTLE SUPPORT NETWORK GOING ON BECAUSE WE WERE ALL HOLDING HANDS BECAUSE WE WERE NOT PREPARED AT ALL. I cried - yeah she wasn’t even here yet and I cried. So anyway THEN I’m like I can’t even do this and my heart is beating abnormally fast. And that’s when she appeared…

I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES. MY ANGEL. MY EVERYTHING. GENUINELY LIKE A METER AWAY. NO WAY. Okay so then I SOBBED even more and I was uncontrollable (I finally did calm down but omg it was so hard I couldn’t stop crying) - thank you Emma and Flora for helping me LOL. Side note: her hair was so curly and pretty and she wore this camo dress thing and SNAKE BOOOOOOTS and a snake ring and yeah I was like GO GURLLL. IN THAT MOMENT I DIED IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

On to the album, obviously you guys understand I can’t say much at all BUT REPUTATION IS MY FAVOURITE ALBUM BY FARRRRR. Like it’s genuinely so different but so genius - it’s incredible. She’s so talented and you can tell she’s worked so super hard for it and I can tell she’s happier than ever through the way she talks and she just seems so content with life and it makes me so proud and happy of how far she’s came. It’s so emotionally complex and THE LYRICS (she’s a genius okay). But there was one song that made me full on SOB and everyone in that room felt something…ANYWAY Taylor herself, during the whole of the session, she was so funny and she’s just so genuine…it was unreal. UNREAL. Some highlights that stand out to me include when during one of the songs she looked right at me for about 20 seconds or so and we just danced and smiled at each other. IVE NEVER FELT SO LOVED IN MY LIFE. To say I’m proud of her for this album is an understatement.

okay so then….IT WAS MEET AND GREET TIME. We were all sitting reading the magazines and talking to each other and it was adorable and even though I was a nervous wreck, everyone was so nice and amazing towards me. When it was time for the picture I was at the waiting point I can’t tell you how I felt. It was indescribable. I seen the 2 girls before me hug Taylor goodbye and it was my turn. I ran up to her and hugged her so hard and she looked at me and went “ITS ABBIE ISNT IT?” AND I WAS NODDING AND I WAS LIKE YEAH ITS ME and she was like “NO WAY I CHOSE YOU LIKE A YEAH AGO LIKE SOOOO LONG AGO” and I was like NO WAY and then I was like “THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE HELPED ME THROUGH, YOU’VE HONESTLY GOT ME THROUGH SO MUCH” and she was listening so intently and she smiled at me and hugged me and we held hands for a few seconds which was BEAUTIFUL and she was like “you are SO beautiful like SO beautiful and you are SO funny like you’re posts are hilarious” and I started shaking and I told her she was like a big sister to me and then we got a really cute huggy picture and then we got one with my mom which was cute and THEN (THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST MOMENT) the camera guy said to my mom “do you want a pic alone with her” and my mom was like “oh it’s okay I’m just her mom” and TAYLOR WAS LIKE" OH WELL THANKS" IT WAS SO FUNNY. THEN I told her I loved her and she was like I LOVE YOU BUDDY and I gave her one final hug before I left which was MAGICAL (I swear we hugged about 27468273 times).

As soon as I left the room, I BURST INTO TEARS I COULDN’T BELIEVE I HAD JUST MET MY IDOL AFTER LIKE 6 YEARS OF LOVING HER AND FANGIRLING OVER HER. My mom went to talk to mama swift and she said to her “thank you so much for making a beautiful, amazing role model for my daughter” and mama swift was like AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH THEN MY MOM GAVE HER A HUG AND THEN I GAVE HER A HUGE HUG AND MAMA SWIFT WAS LIKE THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING HER AND DOING THE CRAZY THINGS SHE MAKES YOU DO AND I CRIED MORE.

WE THEN WENT TO GET OUR MERCH AND GET ON THE BUS AND I WAS GENUINELY STARSTRUCK AND ME AND EMMA JUST KEPT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND BEING LIKE DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?!?!?!

Taylor,
Thank you so so so much for inviting me to your London Secret Session - it was an HONOR to be there. I can’t believe I was given such a beautiful, amazing opportunity and I meant everything I said to you in there and it truly came from the heart. I love you so much and I can’t wait to hopefully see you on tour. You mean the world to me and I can’t wait to hear reputation again and DIE ANOTHER MILLION DEATHS.
I love you so much girl.

Abbie x @taylorswift

you are the only goddamn thing that gives me peace, the only thing that keeps me still when all I wanna do is fall and shatter, sometimes I feel as if the universe’s crushing weight is too much to handle, that no matter where I look, where I go, that weight will forever stay with me, but you make me feel different, you know that feeling you get when you listen to your favorite song? you fill me up with that feeling, that feeling of sunlight or some poetic shit, sometimes I think about how horrible life is and how ugly the world is then I look at you and I see the way the sunlight hits your eyes and I hear the sound of your laugh and I can’t help but let all my thoughts fade into nothingness, you are beautiful and terrifying and you are so full of everything and everyone and I don’t know how to explain it, you talk about things with so much passion and you dance to songs so freely as if your soul is the one in control of your body, you smile at strangers and their heart melts and I could see it in their eyes, you spit the truth like poison and you stand in bravery while others cower in fear, you leave pieces of yourself wherever you go, in everyone you meet, you stumble upon people, talk about the world and movies and songs and you captive them and you hold them hostage with your eyes and brain and heart, you posses them and they feel you in everything they do, you are beyond my understanding, beyond anyone’s understanding, you make me wish I could have all the time in the world just so I would spend more of it loving the moments I get to share with you, you are deeply under my skin, deeply rooted somewhere in my heart or soul whatever those are, you are the only thing that makes me fall in love with life a little more each day, you are my home.
—  atelophobiaxx // Nada Toghoj
OKAY KIDS LEMME SIT YOU TF DOWN AND TELL YOU ABOUT DAMIEN FRICKIN BLOODMARCH

(SPOILERS!!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED HIS ROUTE AND DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED DO NOT READ)

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL 

DAT HAIR, DAT MAKEUP, DAT SWEET OUTFIT 

MY ACNE IS CURED, MY GRADES HAVE GONE UP, LIFE IS A DAMN DREAM AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GOTH PRINCE

HE’S V. PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING, LIKE ONE OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THINGS IN THE WORLD IS WHEN SOMEONE IS PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT THEY LOVE AND HIS HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND WONDER LET ME TELL YOU

This dude renovated his whole house by himself. 

HIS HOUSE IS SO BEAUTIFUL I  ACTUALLY HAD THE AUDACITY TO FEEL SLIGHTLY JEALOUS OF THIS FALLEN ANGEL

I WANTED TO STEAL HIS HOUSE FROM HIM

DID I MENTION THAT HE HAS NARUTO FANFIC IN HIS VICTORIAN LIBRARY? 

NARUTO X SASUKE SMUT NO LESS

TRULY A MAN OF TASTE

And this dude has A+++++++ parenting AND gardening skills. 

He is an expert on everything Victorian, including the language of flowers and arranging bouquets and writing beautiful letters. 

INSTEAD OF SENDING YOU A MESSAGE ON DADBOOK LIKE SOME PEASANT, HE WRITES YOU GORGEOUS HEARTFELT LETTERS IN FINE CALLIGRAPHY SEALED WITH HIS OWN SIGIL

HE OFFERS TO GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED BOUQUET WITH YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER ON YOUR FIRST HANGOUT

GIVES YOU HIS HANDKERCHIEF LIKE SOME VAMPIRIC KNIGHT OF OLD

THIS DUDE IS EXTRA AF WITH EVERYTHING HE DOES AND I AM 10000% FOR IT, YES THAT’S SOME GOOOOOOOOOOOOD SHIT, SIGN ME UP

But he also has a sweet and joking side. Despite his Gothic persona, he is actually really scared by horror movies. He takes you out for a date in a graveyard and somehow makes it comforting, enchanting even. He’s always making jokes about things the Victorians COULD have done. 

Damien manages to handle his rebellious teen JUST FINE without making his son feel like he’s being patronized or controlled. He is diplomatic, calm, and loving. He’s a cool dad. 

AND WHEN YOU FINALLY GO ON YOUR THIRD DATE, OH YES YOU ARE IN FOR A SURPRISE. 

DAMIEN BLOODMARCH, MR. BEAUTIFUL PRINCE OF DARKNESS, IS ACTUALLY AN IT GUY WHO VOLUNTEERS AT AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN HIS OFF TIME. 

AND. HE. LOVES. DOGS. 

BLESSED IMAGE, REBLOG FOR GOOD FORTUNE

IF YOU WEREN’T SOLD ON HIM ALREADY, OOOOOOOOOO BABY, OOOOOOOOOO YES THIS IS THE KICKER RIGHT HERE

GOD WHAT AN ADORABLE DORK

IT TURNS OUT HE WAS ACTUALLY SCARED THAT YOU WOULDN’T LIKE THE FACT THAT HE’S NOT JUST A GOTH 24/7. THAT HE’S ACTUALLY A THREE DIMENSIONAL PERSON

AND THE REASON WHY HE DOESN’T FEAR DEATH IS BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT IT GIVES LIFE MEANING, THAT YOU SHOULDN’T LET GRIEF CONTROL YOU FOREVER

HERE IS A WONDERFUL, GORGEOUS PARENT WITH UNIQUE INTERESTS AND HE IS JUST FULL OF SO MANY SWEET THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AAGHHGHGHGH

Damien has lost people dear to him. Yet he keeps moving. He keeps finding ways to make his life interesting and beautiful. He is good with animals and kids, everyone really (except the cashier at Hot Topic). He has not let life make him bitter. I love that about his character. I think his connection with the Player Dad is really special because people judge him so quickly and the Player Dad helps show him that he’s more than just an archetype and he can be his own person. The pressure to be only a small part of himself 100% of the time was making it hard for him to enjoy his hobbies, or to feel free. And I relate to that, I really do. We all have something people expect us to be. 

And don’t even get me started on the GRADUATION PARTY

DAMIEN’S SON THANKS YOU FOR MAKING HIS DAD HAPPY

AND DAMIEN SHOWS UP IN HIS IT GUY CLOTHES 

HE HAS FINALLY ACCEPTED HIMSELF AND GAINED CONFIDENCE AND IT FEELS AMAZING

And then there is this

I have nothing to say. 

I think I almost cried when i SAW THIS GIFT FROM THE GODS

MMMMMMMMMM YESSSSSSSSSS THIS IS THE PUREST CINNAMON ROLL, 70% SUGAR, 20% GOTH, 10% BAD JOKES

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN CLEANSED AFTER PLAYING HIS ROUTE 

AND THIS IS MY INADEQUATE ESTIMATION OF DAMIEN MOTHERTRUCKING BLOODMARCH, MAY HE REIGN AS THE BEAUTIFUL DORK KING OF DARKNESS FOREVER

Letters To The Zodiac Signs

Aries: I envy you. I envy your courage, your stupidity and your childishness. Maybe you’re asking “Why?” Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were all children at heart, like you? Like seeing things so horrible yet still making corny jokes? Like telling your feelings, like running until your feet hurt? Like purity, like innocence mixed with knowledge? You have experienced the world, you have experienced life. And yet, you still stand here. Brave and tall. As if to say “I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid to live.”

Taurus: I will always associate you with flowers and colours. With lilies and roses and blood oranges. I will always associate you with fruit and red-green-yellow. We will speak in colours, talk in words others won’t understand. With red-grey sand and blue-green eyes. An encouraging nod, a hug with clasping hands. Words left unspoken simply ‘cause they were never meant to be said, they were meant to be. They were meant to be. Plucking petals like a grade schooler playing games about love. Holding a magnifying glass over your head, and I could not find a flaw. I just saw you. I saw you.

Keep reading

43 Reasons to Love Misha Collins

1. He is kind 
2. He is selfless
3. He is flawed
4. He is sarcastic
5. He’s seen the worst that the world and humanity can give and became the opposite
6. He loves freely and openly
7. He is passionate
8. He is messy
9. He is genuine
10. “Be kind to yourself so you can be happy enough to be kind to the world”
11. He is bright
12. He is intelligent
13. He is witty
14. He is sharp
15. When he realized how much of an impact he had, he founded a non profit charity that promotes small random acts of kindness and created a scavenger hunt that fosters creativity to raise funds for that charity
16. He is an incredible actor
17. He is the father every child needs
18. He is an attentive husband
19. He is a loving friend
20. “I want to live in a world where the word ‘normal’ is an insult”
21. He is real about life sometimes being complicated and confusing
22. He fights hatred with kindness
23. He is present
24. He doesn’t take himself too seriously
25. He wakes up early to hand out coffee at ComicCon, stays up late to serve dinner, because he gives love in spades
26. He values family
27. He supports everyone at once without ever knowing it
28. He recognizes and owns his mistakes and learns from them
29. He believes that people can grow
30. “Do what you love and the 'good’ will follow”
31. He believes in the power of one person
32. He is proof of that power
33. He helps people living in the dark see the light
34. He allows people to love themselves, quirks and all
35. He understands things on a deeper level than most; he seems to immediately comprehend the meaning behind words and empathize with the experience even if he lacks a personal frame of reference
36. He stands up for those who can’t stand up for themselves
37. He fights on behalf of all
38. He sees beyond himself
39. He is vocal about injustice
40. “I am passionate about tea, running, the idea that we are bound only by the limits of our imaginations, and maple syrup”
41. The way his smile lights up a room
42. The way his laugh is contagious  
43. The way he is unapologetically himself and in doing so, helps others do the same

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISHA. WE LOVE YOU.

i absolutely hate doing this so i’ll keep it brief - i’m a full time student and work long hours as a hairstylist and i recently lost my health insurance. i’m making an appeal to medicaid so that will work out long term, hopefully, but right now between my car payment and the $70 cosmetology license renewal and everything else i could really use some help. my medications are $150 out of pocket just for the ones i need most, and i have credit card payments due at the beginning of next month. i’m in a tight spot and a little extra help would make a huge difference. if anyone can help i’d be really grateful, anything helps

wishbyspirit@yahoo.com is my paypal and my cash.me is $wishbyspirit

thank you in advance

The Secrets Trilogy: Secrets Tested

Description: Boundaries are discovered between work and play.

Genre: Smut (18+)

Word Count: 11.7k

Warnings: Heavy dom/sub themes, rough spanking (like woah), light breathplay, masturbation, degrading names, exhibitionism

Index: Our Little Secret, Secrets Tested, Secrets Revealed <– coming soon.

A/N: Here it is~ Part two of the Secrets Trilogy. A trilogy that wasn’t supposed to exist but here we are. :I As per the warnings - DO NOT READ if you are offended or triggered by rough sex. Everything in this is 100% consensual so if anyone sends an ask filled with accusations and name calling, your ass will be blocked immediately. 

Pleasant reading~ 

Keep reading

Fasting tips/ tricks/ info Credits to: @fastgirldreamin

fasting tips/tricks/info

Note: I’m always open for Ana/Mia/Fastingg buddies. KIK me at thinnestana if you need one!
Reblog this for other people!


Alright, we all fast. Some do it for 12 hours, some for 72 hours.


What happens when I fast?
First 3-6 hours:

-your body is using up all the sugar and carbs (glucose) in your body. You feel normal. It’s all good.
6-36 hours

-your body is now using fat cells (and will continue to do so after this point as well) but it’s not what your brain wants, so you might be craving foods like pasta and bread and very sweet things because your brain literally thrives on carbs and such

After 36 hours:

-your body is now using PROTEIN to get its energy, you might be experiencing muscle cramps because your body is breaking down muscles and fat to get the energy it needs.

Tips:

-drink water!! Not only does it keep you healthy but your body is losing a ton of water because carbohydrates cling to water, so when they’re being used, so is the water.

-drink 0 cal vitamin water. You need vitamins especially if you’re doing a particularly long fast. It keeps your brain healthy along with everything else.

-if you feel like you’re going to pass out, but do not want to eat, you may have low blood sugar. A spoon full of honey should help (or a small bottle of juice)

-after 36 hours of 0 cal fasting, if you still don’t want to break the fast, try doing a liquid one (so things like fruit juice, watered down tomato soup, almond milk etc)

-IF YOU ARE DRIVING DURING A FAST, DONT! Your reaction time, and overall reflexes/thought processes are hindered MAJORLY after about 15 hours.

-gum. sugar free gum is a life saver when cravings pop up (normally about 17 hours in for me)

-coffee/caffeine pills/diet pills are all great 0 cal appetite suppressants !

-0 cal sweeteners like Splenda can make water or green tea taste great.

After Fasting:

Your stomach should have shrank if you fasted more than 15 hours, so when breaking a fast:

-try something high carb, low cal, such as plain oatmeal (100) and half a banana with cinnamon (60)

-eat it slowly so that you have time to register that you’re full, a too full stomach after a fast hurts!

-then wait at least 3 hours before your next meal, which should include some protein

-make sure you don’t binge!!