everything is embarassing


Inspired by these three wonderful posts


playlist for september [listen]

i. marina - valleyz; ii. the weekend - sza; iii. i don’t know you - the marías  ; iv. true colors - the weeknd;  v. gold angel - minke; vi. fine - jill baylon; vii. marceling - willow; viii. woman - harry styles; ix. everything is embarassing - sky ferreira; x. idontwannabeyouanymore - billie eilish; xi.  belong to you - sabrina claudio; xii. hard feelings/loveless -  lorde.


This is so-

I’m reading The Cursed Child and i had to represent their first meeting.

With the new route being released I’d like to illustrate how my life revolves around Mystic Messenger.

6:00  - 8:00  Wake up time
10:00 - 3:30  Enjoying game before work and during breaks
4:00 - 11:00 Drawing while waiting for new chats in game (All day if I am off)
12:00 - 1:00  Try to sleep
3:00 -  3:30  Oh boy, 3:00am chats! Go back to sleep.
6:00 -  8:00  Zen wakes me up with chat about how he is jogging. Rinse and repeat for 11 days.

I’m an adult and make adult decisions.

its 4 am and im so tired

okay so since a couple of people asked me already, here is my tutorial on how i color manga caps! this way is pretty simple as im still learning and trying new things. it’s a bit time consuming and you’ll need a basic understanding of photoshop, but overall it’s not very difficult!

the first thing is find a manga scan you want to use. this is the one im using its shishio from hnr of course

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before we do anything make sure you’re on RGB mode (image>mode>RGB color) otherwise colors wont show up. 

duplicate the background layer and make sure only the background copy visible

okay now for some cleaning and rendering stuff! luckily this particular mangacap is already pretty well cleaned, but if not i usually adjust levels, or duplicate, filter>blur, and multiply a layer on top which should take away any pixelated icky things. also remember the stamp tool is your friend. sorry i wont really go into detail with all this ahh

theres a bunch of different ways to render, but what i personally think is the easiest for manga caps is using color range! just click on the rectangular marquee tool and then right click on the image and choose color range. now click on a white part of the cap and press ok.

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when it’s all selected, hit ctrl + x to delete the background. crop out everything else you don’t need and it should look something like this: 

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erase (or select and cut with lasso/pen tool) anything you don’t want. here i erased everything in the background and i usually erase the little grey shading spots around the neck, eyes, nose, and mouth as well as a personal preference.

tip: if you want to make sure you got everything, put a dark/black layer underneath! (new layer>edit>fill>black)

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HECK YEAH NOW ITS COLORING TIME !! pat yourself on the back you’ve done well im proud of you bby 

(here is a color palette i made especially for shishio a little while after i made this tutorial. you can grab skin tones and stuff from there idk)

first, you have to duplicate your background copy again. you should have two background copies now. layers are important !!! each thing you color will have a new layer between the two background copies 

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i usually start with the skin. i use a normal hard brush and erase any mistakes as i go. i just noticed i picked a horrible color but its okay because you can always fix colors later again, using a black layer behind is pretty convenient to see if you’ve missed anything or if you’re coloring outside of the lines

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you would normally repeat this step for hair, clothes, etc. (also another remind to make sure you make a new layer underneath the previous for each thing you color !!!!!) but since shishio’s hair is already colored in, you’ll find that photoshop won’t let you color over it. now you’re going to need to hold on to your anime plushies and body pillows, because things are going to get a bit complicated 

if you want to color the actual hair, make a layer above the background copies and set it to screen. however, im only coloring in the highlights so you would do the same thing except set it to multiply.

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the eyes will also be above the background copy. set it to multiply.

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once you have a base color for everything, it’s time to shade!

make a new layer above the layer you’re going to shade and create a clipping mask. this basically makes it so it will only show up on things you colored on this previous layer (try coloring a spot outside of the skin, you’ll see what im talking about)

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i cant really explain how to shade, since im not very good at it myself but after you figure out where the light source is, just try to picture where the shadows will be.

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im sorry i dont have a tablet but i tried my best with my mouse to show you how/where i shaded

 i used a soft brush (0% hardness) with 55% opacity to shade around the forehead, neck, nose, ears, jaw, and clothes

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resize to 500px and add backgrounds, textures, adjustments and stuff or throw a psd or two on there to make things nice as such:

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extras: (don’t ask me why i do this, it just looks cool okay) flatten all the layers excluding the psd and make two copies —

filter>blur the first copy and set to multiply
set the second copy to screen

change the opacity according to what you think looks best 

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this was my final product: 

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i hope this helped at least a little! im sorry im not very good at explaining, ive never done a tutorial before, but if you have any questions or need some clarification please ask. good luck!~



  • hyper each time he hears his favorite idol group’s songs 
  • would dance alone in a corner while murmuring the lyrics 
  • because he can get a little shy when other people are staring at him 
  • always laughs real loud when people mention his idol 
  • has the biggest smile whenever he sees his favorite celebrity on tv 
  • never misses a show his idol starred in 
  • has every cd and photobook in his bedroom and probably a poster with it inside his closet 


  • probably very into girl groups, especially those with sexy concepts
  • jamms out to the songs everyday while at home 
  • probably only comments about how nice the song is when he is with other people 
  • inside he would be crying over how pretty his favorite member looks 
  • and how amazing her voice is 
  • can always be seen whispering the lyrics to the songs quietly when doing chores or shopping or anything else 
  • doesn’t buy all the albums
  • but collects photo cards of his favorite idol which he steals takes from other people 


  • the extremely low-key fanboy
  • you won’t even know he is one if he wouldn’t pop up his head everytime someone mentioned the name of his favorite celebrity 
  • spends hours on the fancafe and forums 
  • but always go on incognito mode in case someone checks his history 
  • keeps a poster of his idol under his bed and probably stares at it before going to sleep 
  • nothing weird, just thinking about how can that person be real and so perfect 
  • spends days daydreaming about scenarios that will never happen including his idol 


  • such a troll 
  • probably enjoys making savage comments even about his favorite idol and seeing the other fans going crazy over it
  • has a folder full of memes of his idol and always uses them in usual conversations
  • usually tells people he only likes the song, prefers to keep the fact he is a fanboy for himself 
  • most likely to go home, turn up the music to the max and start dancing and singing like crazy 
  • probably sends DMs to his idol with pictures of himself asking if he is handsome 


  • the famous fanboy who always covers the ballads of his favorite idol group 
  • posts them on the official fancafe and usually gets hundreds of views and comments 
  • girls swoon when they hear him play guitar as well 
  • when alone he usually yells out the lyrics at the top of his lungs and jumps on his bed 
  • dances akwardly on everything, but gets embarassed if anyone sees him 
  • has a recording of his idol singing as his ringtone


  • doesn’t try to make it obvious, but he just does
  • dances whenever a song of his favorite idol comes on and mimicks all the moves 
  • lip sync game is too strong 
  • knows every word and every tempo of every song
  • but laughs it off and says his little sister just likes the songs a lot
  • plot twist: he doesn’t have a sister, but is too embarassed to admit
  • he likes childish and cute girl group songs full of aegyo
  • big fan of daydreaming and having conversations with his idol in his mind
  • and sometimes sleep since he sleeptalks


  • a shy shy shy fanboy 
  • usually too awkward to sing or dance, so he just sits there and watches the tv in awe 
  • mouth wide open while he doesn’t blink for the whole mount of time his idol is appearing on tv 
  • denies he buys albums, but has a stack under his bed and is currently out of hiding places
  • because everywhere is full of other albums of other groups he likes
  • usually records himself when singing his favorite songs, but is too shy to post them 


  • dances to his favorite group’s songs everytime everywhere
  • famous among the other fans because he always posts dance covers 
  • he was even noticed one day by his idol who liked one of his videos
  • he screen-captured it and almost cried because of happiness 
  • his walls are full of posters 
  • he dreams and daydreams that he will one day be as famous as his favorite group 
  • probably takes photos doing the same gestures his idol does


  • can be seen sitting in between two middle school girls in the crowd of a music show
  • waving his glowing stick without any expression on
  • yells during the fanchant, but turns quiet afterwards 
  • always looks lost during fansigns and half of the people wonder how he got there 
  • secretly keeps a photo of his favorite idol in his wallet 
  • also has a picture of his favorite group as his phone background and profile picture on social networks


  • an expert in the field of fangirl fanboy-ing
  • knows every dance to every song and always jumps out of his seat when he hears the first beats of it 
  • shows off like no one else can 
  • also well-known among the other fans for his cover dances he posts every other week 
  • probably has a photobook for each member with details and facts plus baby pictures 
  • carries them with him all the time because they are his treasure  
  • owns every album and always goes to fansigns 
  • would slap you if you spell his favorite idol’s name wrong 


  • the silent fanboy who only smiles when he sees his favorite idol on tv 
  • literally hates everyone besides his favorite group 
  • can’t afford merch so he makes his own which he later throws in the trash because it looks bad 
  • has a secret folder on his computer full of videos, pictures, recordings, gifs of his favorite idol 
  • glares at anyone who trash talks his favorite celebrity 
  • would probably sell someone’s kidney to go to a concert