When people use the reason that Sansa was mean to Arya growing up and that shows how un-Stark-like she is and for all the stupidity she did as a child makes her Satan…I’m a younger sibling who grew up as a tomboy and my sister was older, more feminine in the conventional sense and also more bossy. We fought a lot and she was stronger than me so in physical fights I’d always lose. She and her friends never let me hang out with them because I was younger. And as all elder siblings with lesser age difference do, she even tried to make me believe I was adopted. My sister was also known as the wild child despite everything I’ve said before, who my mother was constantly worried about while she thought I was pretty set because of my grades and my manners in front of adults.
I thought she was the worst when I was younger. But she was also very protective of me when my own friends tried to bully me and bullied them when they did so as hypocritical as it was. And as we grew older, that one and a half year age difference got smaller and smaller and we grew to understand each other better despite our differences. In fact, she started acting much more like a mother figure to me as we got older because she’s more approachable than my mom. People who think sisterhood isn’t important if it was previously strained - especially in childhood or that it makes Sansa or the elder sibling a terrible person, either never had elder and younger sibling (with a very little age difference) relationships growing up that took a different turn or never reflected on the turn this relationship took. The lesser the age difference, the more the competitiveness and the more annoying they are while you’re younger but if both people are decent as they grow older, they come to understand each other in ways they didn’t before.
I have been both Arya and Sansa in my relationship with my sister as has she. I ratted out facts about my sister to an elderly person (sometimes my own family) who I didn’t know would take it out on her in a terrible way. I was too young to understand the consequences, as was my sister. This relationship should be read through a developmental approach and reflecting back on how such relationships work. If one of your siblings didn’t bully you when you were younger, that’s honestly rare and generally happens when there’s a huge age gap. So is it fair if you’re judging Sansa by a cultural anomaly because the rest of the Stark siblings got along fine?
That’s exactly what D&D exploited because they knew there’s fandom discourse TM on this and they don’t understand it either.