everything i am searching for

Originally posted by acciosugas

My soul is chaos, how can it be at all? There is everything in me: search and you will find out. I am a fossil dating from the beginning of the world: not all of its elements have completely crystallized, and initial chaos still shows through. I am absolute contradiction, climax of antinomies, the last limit of tension; in me anything is possible, for I am he who at the supreme moment, in front of absolute nothingness, will laugh.

- Emil Cioran

Anton Walbrook, on stage in the early 1930s. 

Once you get into a relationship, you might wish you had more friends. Once you make more friends, you might desire to have a better relationship. Once you make friends at work, you might wonder why you can’t make friends at church. Once you make friends in the city you’re in, you might long for those deeply rooted relationships from back home. The cycle goes on and on. We travel through life not always feeling the need for the same things, and nevertheless our hearts remain in need. No matter where we are, we end up still needing something. But so often times what we fail to realize is that in our time of need, God is doing in our lives whatever was meant to be. He is putting people on our paths exactly when we they need to be there. That feeling of longing that we have for something more is met with God’s grace that says, “you don’t have to keep searching…I am truly giving you everything you need.” God knows what your heart is longing for, so long for Him all the more, because it is in your longing for Him that you will learn of your belonging in the perfect plan of what He has in store.

Knowing this, remember that you are going to be okay. Whoever is meant to be in your life, He is going to put them there. And most of all, He is going to continue to write His love and His guidance all over your life, showing you that over and over, in Jesus’ name, He will give you everything you need, from now until Eternity.

Psalm 5 is a prayer of guidance. Let this be our prayer when we feel the need to be loved, heard, and cared for:

Give ear to my words, O Lord,
Consider my meditation.
Give heed to the voice of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You I will pray.
My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord;
In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.
Psalm 5:1-3

Keep looking up. He sees you, He hears you, and He knows your needs, and He hasn’t forgotten a single one of them.

Written by @morganhnichols for #TheDevoCo

Eclipse

No requests yet so I’m indulging myself with a Katsuki scenario since the eclipse was yesterday. Whoops this ended up being longer than I intended ^.^


“Hey Bakugou are you gonna go watch the eclipse next week?” With the way Mina was grinning he instantly knew this conversation was going to piss him off. “Fuck no. Like I would waste my time on something as shitty as that!” He grumbled, glaring down at his lunch.

Kirishima laughed and elbowed him, “c'mon man don’t be like that,” Bakugou growled elbowing him back twice as hard.

“Yeah, Bakugou, I heard (Y/N) is going,” Kaminari piped up, while Kirishima caught his breath. The blond boy ignored the conversation. At least he tried to, Mina caught his attention when she giggled slyly,

“Oh (Y/N) is super excited for it! They’ve been talking about it forever.”

damn. Bakugou internally cursed himself, of course you were excited; you loved that kind of shit. He’d been so caught up in trying to figure out why he cared about you so much, that he’d actually ended up ignoring everyone, including you.

“Ah I forgot to mention,” Kirishima, who had recovered from being elbowed, stared directly at Bakugou, “Izuku said he was gonna go with her and-”

Bakugou slammed his fist on the table and the whole group went silent. “where is this dumbass shit show anyways?” he growled, avoiding the celebratory grin he knew was plastered across Kirishima’s face. He wasn’t about to let dumbass fucking Deku spend the whole day with you, even if you were doing something stupid like watching the eclipse.

And that was how Bakugou found himself shifting his entire schedule to make sure he set enough time aside for the eclipse. After three days of doing extra homework (that he’d never admit he asked for ahead of time), Bakugou finally had to admit to himself that what he felt for you was a crush. a stupid crush, the kind that made his face turn a deep red and actually make him, Bakugou Katsuki, nervous around you. He fucking had butterflies in his stomach! God what was he a goddamn twelve year old?!

His thoughts, however, were interrupted by Kirishima shouting from the end of the hallway for him to wait up.

“Hey Bakugou guess what I got!!” he didn’t wait for the other boy to answer, “It’s a book about the eclipse and other astronomy stuff!”

“I’m not an idiot I don’t need some stupid book to tell me what fucking happens during an eclipse, shithead!” Bakugou huffed.

“Well it’s not just about the eclipse, there’s cool information about a lot of space stuff-”

“I just said I don’t give a fuck!”

“And,” Kirishima continued, completely ignoring his now seething friend, “It’s (Y/N)’s, they let me borrow it until the eclipse. Wanna see?” The red haired boy grinned as Bakugou immediately grabbed the book and started leafing through it.

“Yeah, I thought you might. You’re welcome, by the way.” Snapping his attention away from a page detailing the various galaxies discovered in the last 15 years, Bakugou glared at the other boy. “Shut the fuck up you didn’t fucking do anything. I’m just reading it so I have something to talk about, dumbass,” but Kirishima was already walking to his next class, grinning happily.


Finally the day arrived, and Bakugou was surprised at how excited he was. It must have shown too, because his mom told him to have fun on his ‘date’, even though he just informed her he was hanging out with some friends. The first thing he noticed when he got to the park was that Kirishima had lied; the whole class was there, although everyone was spread out in their own little groups. He made a mental note to beat his friend’s ass later. However that thought vanished completely when he noticed was you. His heart thumped in his chest, all he wanted was to be near you, to hear your voice. Fortunately he didn’t need to wait long, as you waved when you saw him.

“Hey Bakugou!” you smiled as he walked over, and he hated to admit that you could probably get him to do just about anything with that smile. “Kirishima said you would be here! I didn’t realize you liked eclipses.”

“I don’t,” he grumbled, sitting down in the grass beside you, “shitty hair showed me your book and it didn’t look too fucking boring,” he ducked his head and said the last part to the grass, not wanting you to see his face heating up.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you compliment something I like!” your grinned, putting on the eclipse glasses to look at the semi blocked out sun. “Look! the not-too-fucking-boring sun is almost completely covered!” you shifted the glasses so you could see if Bakugou was looking.

What the hell?! Your tranquil mood was quickly replaced at what you saw. He was looking, alright, he was staring directly at the partially covered sun without glasses. You immediately shouted at him, trying to explain how bad that was for his eyes, while simultaneously trying to shove your glasses into his hands.

“(Y/N) what the fuck?! Shut the hell up I’m fine I don’t need your shitty glasses!” he yelled back, causing a few other students to look at the pair of you in concern.

“Bakugou I don’t give a shit if your ego is telling you that you don’t need eclipse glasses! You’re an idiot if you think I’m just gonna sit here and let you go blind!” you had now given up struggling to get him to take the glasses with his hands, opting to just force them on his face. In all honesty he was distracted trying not to blush at how much he loved how strong you were. After all, not many people were able to struggle against him for this long.

“FUCK JUST LET ME EXPLAIN YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!” he finally caught both of your wrists, blushing softly with his breathing slightly labored. His crimson eyes held yours for a few seconds, searching for confirmation that you wouldn’t resume attacking him when he let your wrists go.

“Fine tell me,” you were blushing a bit too, feeling his rough hands let go of your wrists, immediately missing the warmth. You relented grudgingly, bracing yourself for his scientifically inaccurate argument.  

“I can look at the sun just fucking fine. It doesn’t blind me or shit like that. Same thing with my quirk, I can look at the explosions I make, do you really fucking think I would use Stun Grenade so goddamn much if it fucking blinded me?” He glared at you, as if stating the obvious.

“Bakugou that doesn’t make any sense, how could your explosions be as bright as the sun? We would all be blind, plus then how could you see anything else? I mean with the eclipse glasses we can only see the sun so…” at this point you were muttering to yourself, lost in thought of the logistics of Bakugou’s claim.

“(Y/N) you dumbass put the stupid glasses on and watch, I’ll fucking prove it,” He sighed, curiosity won you over as you did as you were told. immediately, you were enveloped in complete darkness, nodding after a moment to signal you were ready. You heard Bakugou creating small explosions a few feet in front of you, but you turned your head in confusion, not knowing where exactly to look.

“Bakugou what am I looking at? Everything is black,” you frantically searched your field of vision for the source of the sounds, until you tensed suddenly, feeling a warm, rough hand grab your face by your jaw, angling your gaze downward. Without realizing you inhaled sharply at the sight of bright yellow and red flashes contrasting vividly against the inky blackness. Bakugou was thankful you couldn’t see him blushing furiously, fighting the urge to pull you closer.

“See?” he asked softly, your heart sped up at the gentle tone.

“Bakugou that’s amazing!” he quickly let go of you as you took off the glasses to look at him, “Seriously that makes perfect sense, but it’s unbelievable! I can’t believe I never thought of that!” He flushed under your wide eyed gaze, reveling in the praise, before smirking at you.

“So you think about me a lot, huh?” and it was your turn to blush, stuttering in attempt to respond.

“W-well, um, I uh-,” fortunately your train wreck of an excuse was cut off by cheers and shouts from other students, reminding you that the moon should be blocking the sun completely by now. Glasses on your face, you looked up at the eclipse in excitement. While you watched the incredible ring of light surrounding the stygian silhouette of the moon, you couldn’t see the only person in the entire park not entranced by the eclipse. Bakugou’s eyes held the same wonder as yours, but his gaze stayed fixed on you, not the sun. Without thinking the ashen haired boy grabbed your hand, and the dam holding his emotions back collapsed as you blushed and squeezed his hand in your own, your gaze still glued to the eclipse.

“Hey dumbass, we should do this more often,” he grumbled, extremely grateful that you were still mesmerized by the sun.

Masquerade

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the story. Please do not copy or credit this as your own. Photos above are not mine.

Pairing: Arno Dorian x fem!reader

Word count: 760

Warning: none

Tagging: @writingsofawaywardnerd @bunnyyumyum @rooks-and-blighters @kebeo @fortunefavoredthebrave @thatonepieceofpaper @thepandadrawer @imakemyownblog @frostychess @romancingthecreed @freedomaboveallelse @an-order-of-fryes @scarlet-marionette @amarabliss @thehalodiaries

A/N: Inspired by a previous convo on Discord, I decided to add this onto my already heaping pile of requests for some reason. I hope you all enjoy.


Glitter, stiff fabric and extravagant clothing swirled through the eye slits in your mask as you navigate your way through the massive crowd of guests with only minimal candlelight and dim chandeliers to guide you through the night before the moon showed its face.

Versailles always looked better at night.’ You think to yourself as a tap on your shoulder stops you from trying to move past various bodies in coarse fabric and uncomfortable shoes. You turn around to see a man with dark hair, tan skin and dark eyes while dressed in a black French masquerade outfit complete with a gleaming white mask that covered half of his face.

Bonsoir, mademoiselle.” He greets with a charming smile and a suave French accent as you perform a mock curtsey.

Bonsoir, monsieur.” You reply sweetly  as you smooth the light blue sleeve of your gown.

“Care to join me for a dance in the courtyard?” The man asks and you nod before you extend your arm. He links his arm through yours and leads you outside of the palace into the newly renovated marble courtyard. A small string quartet with a guest French horn begins to play the Blue Danube as dancers start to file in front of the stage with their respective partners. Your partner leads you into an moderate tempo as you spin around other couples in their own lavish outfits and blinding jewelry.

“What brings you to Versailles, ma chérie?” Your partner asks as you glide towards the musicians.

“A certain peace that Paris can’t provide. Or America in general.” You answer while he spins you around before placing his hand on your waist again.

It’s just part of the dance, Y/N. No need to get all jumpy.’ You remind yourself.

“I see. Peace is something that not many can find, much less within a city.” He remarks.

“No, it’s not.” You swallow as your partner dips you before bringing you back up again. “What brings you here to the Château de Versailles then?”

“I came here once with my father. Everything about the palace spoke to me in a strange way and I promised myself that I would come back someday.” Your partner explains and you nod understandingly. The musicians stop playing and you separate yourself from your partner before bowing.

“I’m Y/N.” You manage to say without a stutter or a misstep before you leave the courtyard and escape from the slowly gathering crowd of new dancers. Somehow, you manage to find yourself standing in the garden, right in front of a fountain decorated in stone with an angel looking down on you like a silent guardian.

You hear the faint echo of footsteps behind you and you slowly turn around to see your dance partner standing there with a small smile gracing the unmasked part of his face.

“Who are you?” You ask so quietly, it could have been a whisper.

He steps ever so close towards you, so close that you think that he could possibly smell the whiff of lavender perfume you sprayed on before you left your hotel room earlier.

“Arno Dorian, amour.” He tells you, his eye partially lidded as you reach up slowly to remove the white mask, only to see the exact features you saw on Arno’s unmasked face.

“Why mask yourself if you have nothing to hide, Arno?” You inquire.

“You only see what you can on the outside, Y/N. But you can never see what is truly inside something, not until you unmask everything.” Arno explains. “I’ve been searching for who I am on the inside for a long time, hence the half-mask. I only know what I see when I present myself in public, and yet I never know who I truly am deep down.”

“Perhaps you’ll find it one day. And when you do, come back here at this spot in the palace, when the ball comes around again. I’ll be here.” You tell him firmly and he smiles before reaching for your mask and gently removing it from your face.

A soft breeze brushes your face and Arno delicately kisses you on the lips before placing his mask back on.

“Thank you, Y/N. I hope to see you here again someday.” Arno nods as he turns around and leaves.

You touch your lips lightly and watch Arno’s retreating figure slip away into the darkness of the ever-growing night before you place your mask comfortably on your face and head back towards the main party while the moon begins to glow brightly.

Can we transcend our religion for a more vast spirituality?

There comes a time when we have to transcend our religion-barriers. Religion is good, but we have to go far beyond religion. Religion will tell us about God; sometimes it will create fear in us when we do something wrong. The religious approach to God is mostly through fear. But the spiritual approach to God is always through love. It is not out of fear that we approach God but out of love. We want to establish our inseparable oneness with God. I don’t want to say that religion does not have love for God, because it has. But fear of God very often looms large in people who practice religion. People who practice Yoga do not have that kind of fear. They have only love of God. Oneness with God is what they want.

Religion feels that there is someone called God who is high above, in the sky or in Heaven or somewhere else, and that all Peace, Light and Bliss are with Him. But Yoga will say that where I am is Light, Peace and Bliss; where I move around is Truth. Truth and I are inseparable. Religion does not claim that oneness. Religion will say Truth is somewhere else; we can have a free access to it eventually. It says Truth is somewhere, Light is somewhere, and only if we pray and meditate will we one day see the face of Truth and Light. But Yoga will say, “No. Where I am, the very thing I am looking for is also there. I am the very thing that I am now looking for, searching for, striving for. Everything is already inside me, only I have forgotten it, I cannot recognise it or I have misplaced it.” Yoga tells us to look for our inner wealth, to discover and bring to the fore what we eternally have. Spirituality is Yoga in a vast and broad sense.

Sri Chinmoy, Flame-Waves, part 6

Ok but why is there a kpop gif for literally everything. Like why am I searching “sitting down in chair” and the only gif that comes up us a kpop singer. He wasn’t even sitting. What do y'all even tag your gifs as. Why do you do this. Why is half of everything I search a kpop gif

With You

With you I am not my old self
I am the person, the human now, who I saw in my day dreams after the worst of nights
Need not hide from you, eyes that seek the truth I don’t try to escape your glance
There is hurt and there is pain, but in progress to not destroy the skin they inhabit

With you I am safe
Not only your phsysical height that stands over me in protection, but how you talk to me
Oh how you call me your everything and I know you would never hurt me
I have no cares for I have no fear, I have everything I could of searched for; You

With you I am happy
No, I’m great, actually, no words could descibe this euphoric lifestyle
A feeling that makes me smile everytime I see your face that I couldn’t fight away and dont want to
I am in awe as I watch your lips move and hands cross over my own clothes, for I am happy now

With you I am in love
I could not tell you at first for I did not know this was what it was
When times before I thought I felt that word, only to see now you were the vision I had not yet seen
No kisses could be enough to damper this longing I get whatever short time I am away from you

With you I am me
I am the boy Ive been trying to transform into, the one I struggle to work with
You love whoever I can muster to show you that day and freedom dosent mean justice
For you are helping me to explore me and what it means to love myself as I do you

X - Part Nine

A/N: I am sorry this took me as long as it did to put out there. I have been swimming in oneshots as fast as they are requested or as fast as ideas decide to make themselves present in my mind. I hope this does not disappoint, I truly love this story.

Mind telling me what you think of this addition? 

Thank you.

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten


As we turned the corner into their walled off kitchen, Baekhyun swiftly placed his hands on my hips and pushed me against a counter so that we were facing each other.

“You look beautiful tonight, Pink.”
“I had to make a good first impression,” I defended.
“Are you sure you weren’t just trying to tease me? Your dress seems a bit short.”

Keep reading

10/17/17

I’ve been job searching at home these days. I have been home for over a month now and I feel antsy. Since coming back home, I have gone to San Francisco several times, visited some beaches in California, traveled to New York and I’ve met some old friends. But I usually choose to stay at home even though my parents encourage me to go out and have fun. I knew I was a workaholic when I was living in Korea but it has been really difficult to not think about work since coming back home. I know I wrote a post several weeks ago and I talked about how I wanted to work on enjoying the present and not worrying so much about the future. But that is certainly easier said than done. I also have so many thoughts about my life, values, relationships and family running through my head these days. Overthinking will be the death of me. The other day, my parents were encouraging me to travel the world and to just stop thinking about work for several months. They told me that now is the perfect time to do everything I wanted to do. Yet, I spend my time worrying about finding a job before the end of the year. I know I am not the only person that worries about their future but I think I take it to the extreme. My parents feel concerned because they can see that I am not fully enjoying my time at home. I keep telling them that I am okay but I also admitted that I do have a problem with feeling lazy and unproductive when I am not working. Unfortunately, job searching hasn’t been going too well. It has been quite difficult because I am looking for specific jobs and this limits the number of opportunities for me. But I am taking it day by day ~

I think I keep falling in love with people to distract myself from the fact that I cannot fall in love with myself. I have loved other human beings more than myself, I have loved their flesh and bones more than my own. Not because my love for them was immense, but because the love I had for myself was lacking. I had so much of love and I gave it all away without leaving any for myself, and I know that was wrong. I am trying to love this shell that I am in, along with everything inside of it. I have been searching for the love of my life for so long, I never realized that they were right inside of me. They have been all along.
—  m.o.w, on loving myself
Beginners Guide to witchcraft

I cannot stress enough how important it is to give beginners information about witchcraft! That’s why I have made this handy dandy guide to witchcraft for beginners. Links will also be in text so whenever you think links are there, click on it!

Step 1:
Realize what witchcraft is and isn’t. It is not evil, satanic, or demonic. Witches do not sacrifice to the devil, take children, or kill animals. We do not crash your kid’s birthday party and go “HEY PEOPLE, YOU HAVE A CURSE ON YOU NOW!” Witchcraft is not Harry Potter-esqe either. You will not have sparks flowing from your wand-if you have one anyway-and you cannot stun people instantly. Magick will show it’s self in small, less obvious ways. For example if you need money and cast a spell, a new job offer will probably find it’s way into your life. And on that note, magick will not work if you don’t work.  You can cast all the money spells you want but if you don’t actively look for a job, you’ll be in the same place. Magick,(with a k to be different from stage tricks) is an edge you have to better control and help your life.Witchcraft is also not Wicca or Pagan, two religions. Witchcraft is a craft and Pagan/Wicca are religions.

Step 2:

Figure out what you want witchcraft to do for you, why, and what kind of witch you want to be. There are tons of witch types and you don’t have to be one, it’s just a path that can help you on your journey. Write down why you want to be a witch, what you want from witchcraft, and paths you are interested in. This can help narrow down your research as well.

Step 3:

R.R.E or Read, Research, and Experiment. What does that mean? It means pick up some witchcraft books and read them. If you find anything you think is interesting or have something in mind about witchcraft, research it. Now that you have done the two Rs, try something out. Make sure it’s small so you don’t harm yourself. Also if you get the right information correctly, you won’t have to relearn everything like I am. Get off tumblr and actively search for information.

Step 4:

Testing time. Now that you have figured out what witchcraft is, what you want from it, have done the proper research and small experiments, you can test yourself. No, I don’t mean a paper and pen test, but a small spell, some divination, or anything you like. Make sure you are okay to do this, take the necessary precautions, and if something feels wrong STOP! Have fun with the testing and just keep improving.

Here are links, reminders, etc to help you on your way:

Reminders:

You don’t have to be pagan or wiccan to be a witch.

You can be a witch despite your race, age, sexuality, etc

Under 18? If your parents don’t like you practicing, talk to them or stop.

Fire is dangerous and always be careful when using it.

Never do anything you are not ready for.

Get valid information or you will realize everything is wrong and have to relearn (like me)

Never let anyone tell you what to do with your practice, it’s your craft

You don’t need everything shown in spells and aesthetics.

Rosemary can sub  any herb

Clear quartz crystal is amazing and can be used for anything. It can be found pretty much anywhere and can be cheap too!

Sigils are great for broke, new, and secret witches

Links:

For beginner witches:
(x)

(x) (reblog)

Sigil Masterpost

Links for energy work/visualization:
(x)

Links are being updated soon!

anonymous asked:

🍸+ how would you have felt if James had taken another lover?

send 🍸+ a question and my muse will answer while drunk. (accepting)

❝If we were not together at all, you mean, or if he found someone else when we were apart?
If nothing had happened between us in London, I would still be in love with him, of course, but as long as we remained friends, I would not mind as much. What were the chances of us happening anyway? Just the fact that we did makes me so happy and feel so privileged, even though it lasted for such a little time.
Which also means that if he had found someone else during this decade…I would have understood. It would make sense, wouldn’t it? He thought I was dead, he met so many people. And yet, I believe it would have grieved me to find out he had moved on, as selfish as this might sound. Everything remained the same in the plantation, for everyone. Every day was the same, nothing ever changed. Neither did my feelings for him. It is already hard to understand that the rest of the world did not stop when all these men were imprisoned, it would be awfully lonely to find that the only person I have left, the only person I love like that, loves someone else. Although, that is the way of life, and if he is happy…I would accept it eventually.❞