everything for the craig

7

//It finally got explained why Twaig has the same hat as Craig!

Twaig usually never wishes for anything so she doesn’t bother Craig and Tweek, but honestly they would give her the whole world if they could lmao

Soon it’s christmas and I hope that you share lovely time with your family and friends! And of course I wish that for the people who don’t celebrate christmas aswell!!

ishipcreekhoe  asked:

How old r u guys??

CRAIG: I mean, we put everything else on the internet.

TWEEK: THAT’S DIFFERENT!! THERE’S A SYSTEM- YOU CAN PUT EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET EXCEPT YOUR AGE AND LOCATION!!!

CRAIG: But they already know we live in South Park.

TWEEK: AND NOW THEY KNOW OUR AGE TOO, GOOD JOB CRAIG!

CRAIG: We’re doing fine in school, thanks for asking.

CLYDE: Hey Tweek!

TWEEK: Agh, what!

CLYDE: People are asking if you’re into acting or something.

CLYDE: I dunno why they’re asking, but do you wanna answer them?

TWEEK: Are we really still doing this?

CRAIG: Dude just roll with it, he’s gonna get whiny if you don’t.

TWEEK: Um…

TWEEK: Yes?

CLYDE: Wait, really?

CLYDE: Since when?

TWEEK: It’s… it’s only recently, I guess…

TWEEK: Craig convinced me to try acting a little more. A few weeks back. 

TWEEK: Well, I mean, I wanted to, but he helped me out.

CLYDE: [gasp] STORY TIME!

TWEEK:

TWEEK: Uh…

CRAIG: What’s wrong?

TWEEK: I don’t know what you’re expecting.

CRAIG: You said you wanted to try acting more, so here we are.

CRAIG: What were you expecting?

CRAIG: We skipped class so you could mess around on stage while nobody else was around. I’m just here to watch.

TWEEK: It was kind of hard to start at first because neither of us knew what to do.

CLYDE: How good are you at acting?

TWEEK: I’m getting better, I think.

CLYDE: Are you better than Craig? Craig’s amazing at acting.

TWEEK: …Uh huh.

CRAIG: Not even Tweek can match my acting excellence, Clyde.

CLYDE: Damn, you’re right. How could I be so foolish.

TWEEK: But… what do you want me to do?

TWEEK: I don’t have anything to go off of!

TWEEK: There’s nothing to read, no scenario, I don’t know what to do! That’s why I asked you to help!

CRAIG: You didn’t seem to have trouble last time.

TWEEK: Because you told me what I needed to do!

CRAIG: I thought you said it was because I believed in you.

TWEEK: I mean, yeah! But I knew what I was doing.

CRAIG: Do you want me to come up there and pretend to break up with you again or something?

TWEEK: No, that’s not what I’m saying!

TWEEK: Just give me a setting, or– or something!

CRAIG: I don’t know.

TWEEK: You’re not taking this seriously at all, Craig.

TWEEK: Neither Craig or I were having a good day, so for a bit I wasn’t really sure or confident that I could do it. But we uh… skipped class and went to the theater room to practice.

CLYDE: Ooh la la.

TWEEK: All I asked was for some help, you don’t have to be an asshole.

CRAIG: Dude I told you, I don’t know.

CRAIG: Space pirates? Is that what you want?

TWEEK: What does that even mean?

CRAIG: It’s a concept. Pretend to be a space pirate.

TWEEK: There’s nothing I can do with a concept, man!

CRAIG: I don’t know what else you want from me, then.

TWEEK: But after a few disagreements we just decided to practice acting together.

CLYDE: Aw, do you guys bicker like an old couple?

CRAIG & TWEEK: No.

CLYDE: You totally do, huh.

CRAIG: Look. I can’t do anything to help.

CRAIG: Your acting is fine, I don’t know why you want to practice, or why you need my help.

TWEEK: Because I want to get better!

CRAIG: But you’re already good, dude!

TWEEK: [sigh]

TWEEK: Can you just get up here and do it with me, at least?

TWEEK: If you can’t think of anything, it’ll at least be easier with another person.

CRAIG: Alright, whatever.

CRAIG: Hey uh, actually, can you help me up.

CRAIG: The stage is a lot higher than I thought.

CRAIG:

CRAIG: Tweek? Dude. Help me.

TWEEK: Craig.

TWEEK: Long live the king.

CRAIG: …Dude it’s not that high.

TWEEK: I know, it was a joke. I was trying to lighten the mood.

CRAIG: Just… pull me up.

TWEEK: Fine.

TWEEK: We had a really fun time! Acting together, I mean.

CRAIG: Yeah it was great. Totally awesome.

CLYDE: What did you guys do?

TWEEK: We uh…

CRAIG: Pretended to be space pirates.

TWEEK: Right, space pirates.

CLYDE: Aw, dude! Can you show me?

CRAIG: No.

TWEEK: Alright, before we do anything, can you please drop this pissy attitude? I don’t know why you’re acting like this.

CRAIG: I’m not acting yet.

TWEEK: Ha ha. I’m serious!

CRAIG: Okay, in all honestly, I’m hesitant to do this because of what you did last time.

TWEEK: What happened last time isn’t going to happen this time. Why are you going on about this? All I want to do is practice. Class time is almost halfway over already!

TWEEK: Just help me or leave!

CRAIG: Okay, here!

CRAIG: Let’s both act like we aren’t pissed off right now. That’d be a start.

TWEEK: You started it!

CRAIG: Nuh uh.

TWEEK: Yes you did!

CRAIG: You’re not doing very good right now, I can still totally tell your pissed.

TWEEK:

TWEEK: Alright.

TWEEK: Fine.

TWEEK: But, um, it was after a little bit of… pretend acting, that Craig suggested that I try out for the next school play that came up.

CLYDE: Why do you keep saying stuff like that?

TWEEK: Like what?

CLYDE: “pretend acting.”

CLYDE: It makes me feel like you guys weren’t actually acting.

CLYDE: Were you guys kissing~~~? ;)

TWEEK: What! No!

CRAIG: You caught us, Clyde.

CRAIG: That’s exactly what we were doing.

TWEEK: No it wasn’t!!!

CLYDE: Hahaha, that’s gross.

TWEEK: That’s not what we were doing!

TWEEK: And why would that be gross!

CLYDE: Y’know. Like.

CLYDE: I dunno. If you guys are gay, does that mean you both have cooties?

CLYDE: Because if you do, what happens? If you both already have cooties and you kiss, do you just get more cooties? Or does it cancel out?

CRAIG: No, only girls have cooties.

CRAIG: You can’t catch cooties from another guy. That’s impossible.

CLYDE: Oh. I guess it’s not gross then.

TWEEK: What are you even talking about!

CLYDE: Never mind. Tell me more. I’m captivated by your storytelling skills. Even if it’s all super vague and stuff.

CLYDE:

CLYDE: If you were kissing Craig you don’t have to be ashamed to say so. I know he doesn’t have the most pleasant face, but to kiss Craig is an honor.

TWEEK: WE WEREN’T KISSING!

1 / 2 [part 2]

CRAIG: He’s just a really weird, touchy guy.
CRAIG: He’ll bump you and poke at you and, just about everything.
CRAIG: I was drunk as fuck, though.
CRAIG: Because of that and my stupid mouth? I’m pretty sure by now he knows I’m… not straight.
CRAIG: I don’t know about gay, anymore. I have to think about that.
CRAIG: Clyde fucked me up pretty bad. It’s been a rough year. Girls are cute.
CRAIG: Got a lot to work through.

archiveofourown.org
Halfway - Chapter 3 - Blame Canada (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - South Park [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Progress seems slowed to an agonizing halt, and Craig feels even more threatened by the concrete deadline on his research. As the clock runs out on him, Craig can’t help but feel as though everyone is saying their final goodbyes. He can’t decide if they are saying goodbye to him or his husband. He fears it’s both.

Chapter III is up! Give it a look, make my day. ✨❤️

10

“As soon as someone tells me: ‘You’re rather sexy,’ I wish I could disappear. If somebody says: 'You were voted the world’s sexiest man,’ I have no idea what that means. How do I respond? 'Thank you’ is the best you can do. George Clooney is the world’s sexiest man, anyway.“

youtube

This fanfic is killing me I need help

Worrier - Jim Craig

Originally posted by eichelj

You woke up in bed with everything feeling hot and the feeling of something wet on your forehead. You groaned softly, the feeling making your throat hurt as though it were being rubbed with sandpaper.

“Easy, baby. Easy.” you heard a soothing voice whisper. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

You slowly peeked your eyes open to see your boyfriend’s face. He looked concerned, holding a damp rag in his right hand. “Jimmy?”

“Hey.” he whispered. “Hey, try not to talk too much…You’re sick, baby. I woke up and you… You’re shivering, but you’re running hot. Probably over 100 for a fever. You sound miserable. Apparently that little sniffle you’ve had for the past couple days has been more than just a sniffle.”

You sniffled and nodded slightly. Even your nose was stuffed up and you felt terrible. Everything felt too hot and too cold, your head hurt as did your throat, and you felt weak.

Your boyfriend ran the cloth over your forehead again and pursed his lips. “I’m going to go get you some water and crackers and the thermometer. I gotta take your temperature to make sure you don’t need the hospital. I don’t want to be sorry.”

You nodded and stayed in bed while Jimmy hurried off to get the items from around the house. You’re pretty sure you’d never seen him so worried. You wondered why.

Jimmy was back in only a couple minutes with the crackers, a glass of water, and the thermometer. He helped you sit up a little bit, allowing you to drink some water before placing the little stick under your tongue. A few minutes later, he took it out and sighed.

“101-ish.” he said, still sounding worried. “You sure that you don’t need a hospital?”

You nodded your head. “I don’t need it.” 

He sighed and helped you drink again. “I’m still keeping an eye on you. I’ll be here for whatever you need.”

You nodded and sniffled, lying back in bed. He pulled the blankets over you and asked if it was okay. You nodded and he quietly left the room, brows still furrowed.

You curled up in the sheets and blankets continuing to wonder what about you being simply sick had him so agitated before slowly drifting off into deep sleep again.

You woke up on and off again over the course of the day, Jimmy coming in at intervals to check on you and tend to you when you woke up. Everything from re-filling your water to getting you more crackers and taking your temperature to giving you medicine and wiping at your head with the cloth again. A home remedy he’d learned from family that he said his mom did to him whenever he had a fever. Later on, he brought you a bowl of soup with some more water and crackers as dinner.

You smiled softly and sat up as he placed the tray in your lap. “Thank you.”

Your boyfriend shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed near you. “You don’t have to thank me, babe. This is my job as your boyfriend. Got that? I’m supposed to take care of you. And I’m staying in the guest room until you’re better because I don’t want you to have to take care of me immediately after you’re over this. Okay?”

You shrugged and sipped some of the broth from your spoon before eating the rest up as Jimmy told you the things he’d heard on the news. More news from the government on current politics in and out of the country, baseball, and other such topics that were average for late spring in the height of this hopefully Cold War.

You finished the soup a bit later and Jimmy took the bowl. “There. That good?”

You nodded and gave him another smile. “Yes. Thank you.”

He smiled. “Not a problem, baby.” He turned and went for the door before you spoke up, voice raspy and semi-pained.

“Jimmy?”

He looked at you, brows furrowed again, eyes full of worry like how they were earlier. “(Y/N)? Baby? What is it? Something wrong?”

“I just… You seem so….”

He made a full 180 and went back to your bedside so you wouldn’t stress your voice so much. “Seem so what?”

“Worried.” you croaked. “You’re worried. Jimmy, is something wrong?”

He shook his head. “No. Nothing’s wrong.”

You didn’t believe him. “Jimmy… Tell me. I can tell you’re lying.”

He bit his lip and hesitated for a few seconds before giving a sigh. “Yes. Okay, I’m… I’m really worried about you. I’m really afraid when people get sick.”

“Why?”

He looked down at his hands for a bit, not saying a word.

“Jimmy?”

“Because… that it how it started…”

“What?”

“With my mom.”

You felt your heart grow heavy. That’s right. She got really sick when he was younger, a few years back. That’s how she passed away. “Oh…”

“She just… It started out small and got worse and worse. She had to go to the hospital and then we… she… She… I just get really scared whenever someone I love and care about gets sick. And you’re the most important person in my life, (Y/N). You’re my girl. I just… I don’t want to lose anyone again. Not like that. So… I worry.”

“You won’t” you whispered. “It’s okay. I think it’s just strep. I’m fine. It’ll just be a few days or maybe even a week. I’m fine.”

He looked at you, your eyes locking with his. “I just get so scared.”

“I get it.” you croaked. “It’s fine. You don’t have to explain any further. I know it can be scary since what you went through.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’ll be okay.” you assured. “Promise.”

He smiled and kissed your forehead carefully. “Okay. I’m going to go wash up. You stay here and sleep. Okay?”

You nodded. “’Kay… I love you.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). Rest up. I’ll be back in a bit.” He got up from the bed with your tray and went back to the door to head down the hall and to the kitchen and clean up. You took a drink of water, smiled, and relaxed into bed again, blanket half covering you so you don’t overheat and head on your pillow, closing your eyes in hopes of sleeping this off.