everything about this game breaks my heart

Falsettos moments that always give me goosebumps/make me cry

-“Ask me if I need him… Get him out of my wayyyy”
-Everything after & including “It hurts not to love him. It hurts when love fades” in The Games I Play
-“I never, never, never, never, never, never wanted to love you!”
-“As we march… Along.”
-“But I still have my son on the weekends… Just on the weekends”
-“But I don’t have a lover anymore. Oh my god, when am I gonna get over this?”
-“Learning love is not a crime!”
-All of What More Can I Say, especially “It’s so swell, damn it. Even I’m surprised.”
-“Life is never what you planned. Life is moments you can’t understand.”
-“Everything will be alright”
-“I’m staying here in this spot. Whether you want me to or not.”
-“Kid… Be my son.”
-“Let’s be scared together. Let’s pretend that nothing is awful. There’s nothing to fear. There’s nothing to fear. Just stay right here. I love you.”
-“Who’d have thought that we four would end up as lovers?”
-“Do I love him? No.” “I am so dumb.”
-“Something bad is happening. Something very bad is happening. Something that kills, something infectious. Something that spreads from one man to another”
-“Tell me, why was I chosen? Why me, of all men?”
-“At least death means I’ll never be scared about dying, again.”
-“Death is not a friend, but I hope in the end, he takes me in his arms and let’s me hold hold his face. He takes me in his arms and whispers something funny. He lifts me in his arms and tells me to embrace his attack… Then the scene turns to black.”
-“The many stupid things I thought about with dread, now delight.”
-“It’s the last little mountain I’ll climb.”
-“Sometime… sometime… sometime… sometimmmmmmeeeeee”
-“I feel more helpless than I have in years.”
-“How did you turn out so great? Who do I thank for the man you turned into? Kid, do you know how proud I am? If I don’t show how proud I am. You hold my dreams, kid. I burst at the seams ‘cause of you.”
-“What would I do, if I had not met you? Who would I blame my life on? Once I was told that all men get what they deserve. Who the hell then threw this curve? There are no answers. But who would I be, if you had not been my friend?”
-“One, out of a thousand others. Only one my child would allow.”
-“Who would I be, if I had not loved you?”
-“Do you regret? I’d do it again. I’d like to believe that I’d do it again and again and again.”
-“How am I to face tomorrow after being screwed out of today?”
-“I’d beg or steal or borrow, if I could hold you for one hour more…”
-“Once I was told that good men get better with age. We’re just gonna skip that stage.”
-“We’re a teeny tiny band. Lovers come and lovers go. Lovers live and die, fortissimo. This is where we take a stand. Welcome to Falsettoland.”

FFXV Second Play Through Thoughts

So I am doing a second play through (Just finished Chapter 7) of FFXV (of course as a new game + because who doesn’t enjoy slaughtering beasts and demons at a level 80 when they are level 10?) and there are so many things I am noticing that I did not notice the first time:



- First play through I never truly appreciated how beautiful of a man Ignis really is in this game.


- I feel like Ignis had to be aware to some degree that the reason the wedding was being held in Altissia was because Regis felt something might go down.  I can’t fully believe that Ignis didn’t have some inkling on what was to come.


- It became very apparent to me how ok Lunafreya and Noct were about marrying each other.  I mean they weren’t ok with the circumstances, but the fact that it would be to each other they seemed totally fine with.


- Ignis’s back flips during battle are everything.


- I can’t not believe that the boys didn’t give Prompto shit for taking a ‘self defense’ training class with Cor prior to departing on the trip.


- Cor clearly cares about the well being of Prompto.


- I get Xenia Warrior Princess vibes from Monica.  I wish we got more screen time from her.


- If I was Gladio I would have been way more angry that Iris didn’t call me first before Noct.


- Ardyn is still the personification of stranger danger.


- The first time around I missed that Sania was at Hammerhead and Gladio was talking with her.  I could only imagine what they were talking about lol.


- I feel like Takka lived for some in depth conversations about recipes with Ignis.


- Prompto clearly had it bad for Cindy, I mean pick that man’s jaw up off the floor bad for her.  His feelings for Aranea and Iris were more casual “hey those girls are cute…” sort of thing.


- Noctis was a cocky little shit in Chapter 2.


- I still think the guys are idiots for taking Ardyn up on his ‘offers’.


- Did Carbuncle always photo bomb my photos or did that come from an update?  Because it’s god damn cute.


- Base Busting is still as funny as it was when I did my first play through and Prompto really needs to start a side business doing this.


- The little details are still amazing the second time around.


- Apparently Iris can ride Chocobos and I never knew and her Chocobo in my game was hot pink and it was everything.


- Iris should have just come along for the whole journey, she is queen.


- Talcott talking about his late grandfather still breaks my fucking heart.


- Replaying the game makes me think that the girl Gladio meets during the ten years of darkness is someone who works at the power plant in Lestallum.  I think the big guy has a thing for built women.


- I haven’t watched Kingsglaive but is Loqi and Caliglio in that movie?  They just seem so random in this game to me.


- I feel like Dustin is the ninja assassin in the crownsguard and you can’t convince me otherwise.


- I love Prompto, don’t get me wrong, but my god sometimes he can be such a whiny bitch. It makes me wonder how on earth Ignis put up with that on their journey.  Like I just envision Ignis yelling at him in the Regalia saying “he should have went when they were at the last rest stop and that he needs to hold it” since he will not pull over just so he can go pee and then Noct making some comment about going off the side and Ignis getting more mad lol.


- How many books did Gladio bring on this trip?  So far I have seen a total of 3 different books.


- I get the Ignis/Aranea shippers…I 100% get it now and I am on board.  I just want them to out sass each other and end up making out.


- I also am 100% in Gladnis hell on second play through.


- And I am still on the Noct/Iris train.  I am really loving Iris more playing the second time.


- I need more Cor in my life, thank the six he is in Gladio’s DLC.


- Cid reminds me of a guy that has seen some shit in his life time and will never let you forget that fact.


- I really need to know what the Reggie/Cid fallout was.


- Even on second play through I still needed to give Prompto Chocobos over Gladio needing to make sure his sister was ok in Lestallum.  He just needs to ride those Chocobos all day!


- I used to think I had a bad coffee addiction, until I was introduced to Mr. Ignis Scientia who quite literally gets cravings during battles and at inappropriate times.  Like, Iggy seriously get your shit together.


- This game had some very under used strong female characters and I am very upset they were not used to their fullest.


- Aranea needs a spin off game.


- When Aranea is talking with Prompto about MT’s being demons my heart just broke and I cried a thousand tears.  I am still unclear as to if he really knew he was an MT at that point (I mean I know he knows he was from Niffelheim) but the fact that he might have just made that conversation even harder to hear.


- Anyone else get the vibe that maybe Cindy either swings both ways or is into the ladies based on the fact that she coaxed Holly with a dinner?  Just something about the way Holly talked about it made me get that vibe.  Maybe it’s not so much that she is married to her job as it is that she plays for the other team.  Or maybe Holly is really into her?  I am ok with either.


- Dino is just a gigolo trying to make that dolla.


- Ardyn is still stranger danger 101.


- The Titan battle is hands down the best battle of the whole game.


- Also I don’t know how I missed the Fallgrove tomb being robbed and having no weapon in it the first play through I did.


- Gladio is way too casual about his scars when he rejoins the group.  I would have never let him just brush it off like that.  I mean the man’s chest looks like he just had open heart surgery.


- Also how could Noctis not know the hunter in the power plant was Gladio…it was painfully obvious even when you had the sound on mute.


- I definitely yelled at my TV screen “Fuck you Holly I am getting these demons even if I melt to death in this power plant” when she came over the radio telling me to abort the mission.


- I still overwhelmingly really love this game.


I will post again when I play through the rest of the game.  But I can not wait for the Gladio DLC at the end of the month.  Cor and him are looking so fine in that trailer.  Also anyone else getting the vibes that Cor is really immortal from that?  If he is I called it months ago lol.

Short thoughts on Netflix's 13 Reasons Why....

You know you’ve found an incredible, moving, powerful, honest, game changing, real… unique… show when you stay up until 6:30 in the morning watching the entire first season the day it’s released. Beware: Spoilers ahead. I’ve now watched it twice, and I just have to say… #JUSTICEFORJEFF I did not see that coming. Everything about tape 10 broke my heart. Also, no one is talking about Clay finding Jeff. He lost his friend and the girl he loved in the time span of two weeks. This poor kid can’t catch a break. Plus, the scene with Jeff’s parents crushed me. Fuck, why did such an awesome kid have to die…. not okay.

Originally posted by fraddit

Risks [Jeon Jungkook]

Originally posted by jungkook-gifs

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1155

On the count of three, Jeon Jungkook was going to tell you how he really felt about you

Everyone after lunch had a class, rummaging through their lockers to get to the designated classroom on time. Jungkook and I however, were in no rush, considering we were the only two with a free period. Weird how my best friend and I got that luck. Usually, we’d stay on school grounds, just walking around, not causing too much trouble. Sometimes I tease and tell him how much of a mess him and his close friend Taehyung would be if he was in my position. 

However, today, we walked in complete silence. Side by side like always, his hands in his pockets and mine on the handles of my backpack.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I love everything you're saying about Ann's sexuality within the narrative. The game really should have done better

I’m just a little salty. Like I love Ann I think she’s a likeable character and she’s the reason for some of my fav scenes in the game. But there’s just so much more that could have been done with her, and it honestly breaks my heart a little that they just kind of hung her out to dry a litttle

suchafugitive  asked:

Have you considered that maybe Spencer doesn't have a twin but some kind of personality disorder?? It would make sense cause she there's "crazy" in her family. There's no twin, it was her talking to Wren at the airport. Probably "good" Spencer isn't aware of "bad" Spencer's actions.

I haven’t considered that actually. I’ve only considered that for Ali, that maybe she’s AD and doesn’t know it. Or maybe she’s slowly beginning to realise it and that’s why she acts like she knows everything about the game. “It’s not broken”, “it’s deciding who’s turn it is” etc. Actually I’d be happy for a plot twist like that! I’ve always said that I never want Spencer to turn evil, that’ll break my heart. I want the reveal to be heartbreaking but Spencer being A is just like ripping my heart out and smashing it to a thousand pieces. I’m happy for the writers to rip my heart out and smash it to 2 pieces only. But, if she doesn’t actually know she’s doing it… I’m down for that!

ok so i have a special place in my heart for stories where it doesn’t end all happy like. 
All I can think about rn is Klance stories where they’re not end game. 
They get together but it doesn’t work and they break up, maybe they meet a few years later but they’re with other people, it’s over the potential has gone. 
They perhaps part ways after voltron without ever confessing, leaving everything unsaid, they never meet again. 


I wanted to draw a quick doodle that suddenly turned into a mini comic whoops. 

I’m loving all these headcanons for the 2015 game about Gerudo people raising Link! I think it’d be interesting Ganondorf was the leader of a band of thieves and warriors out in the wild- and they found Link as a child high up in a tree and were so impressed that they kept little Link. Link grows up and is taught everything by the women of the village, always wondering about Ganondorf’s approval. This kinda au would be really heart breaking though, haha ;-;
Even if its not what the game’ll turn out to be I’m definitely visiting this au again! I hope you guys like! 

Wine-Buzzed ACOMAF Feelings

So I’m sitting here after a few few glasses of wine and I just feel this extremely long post coming on about Rhys and Feyre.  Buckle up, people.  

To begin the rant: I knew the moment that Feyre decided that she needed sex from Tamlin right after she was brought back to life that something was going to go wrong. I don’t remember much about the first time I read ACOTAR but I do remember four specific things.  I remember not letting myself like Rhys (because this was my first book by Maas so I was not yet accustomed to the love interest changes), (that being said, I remember that I wasn’t even completely sold on Feylin anyway), I remember feeling sick to my stomach when all Feyre wanted to do with Tamlin after the whole terrible ordeal was to have sex when the reader could clearly tell that she was about to fall the fuck apart, and finally, and I CLEARLY remember the scene at the end when Rhys acts all weird and leaves Feyre standing on the balcony, confused.  In my heart I think I knew.  I think I knew that she was going to end up with him, but because we only got to see the side of Rhysand that terrified and pissed people off, I was not having it.

As I said, this was the first book of Maas’s that I had ever read.  It didn’t draw me in completely like Throne of Glass did later. Because of this I read ACOTAR once, felt okay about it and then didn’t really think about it again until ACOMAF came out.  Even then, I only picked it up because of my love for the Throne of Glass series. I had NO idea what I was about to get myself into.

I have just finished reading ACOMAF for the third time since it has come out and each time I am more and more blown away by Rhysand’s love for Feyre.  It takes my fucking breath away.  Every.  Single. Time.  A few days ago I actually went back and re-read all of the parts in ACOTAR where Rhys interacts with Feyre, just to catch a second glimpse at their initial meetings and see if I could tell what he was thinking.  Since I’m feeling pretty ambitious right now, I’ll go through Rhys telling Feyre what he went through and/or go through the actual scene from ACOTAR.


FIRST OF ALL. Can I just say how crafty Maas is?!? She practically told us. RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING—what was in store for our lovely Archeron sisters. Feyre painted THE NIGHT SKY for herself.  AND WE LATER FIND OUT SHE WAS BORN ON THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR. I can’t even.  She painted flowers for Elaine….we all know why that was.  And finally, flames for Nesta—can’t wait to see that theory 100% proven in book three.



A half smile played on his lips.  “What’s a mortal woman doing here on Fire Night?” His voice was a lover’s purr that sent shivers through me, caressing every muscle and bone and nerve.


Calanmai. “There you are.  I’ve been looking for you.”

His first words to me—not a lie at all, not a threat to keep those fairies away.

Thank you for finding her for me.

So I started walking away, thinking you’d be glad to be rid of me.  But then you called after me, like you couldn’t get rid of me just yet, whether you knew it or not.

Second. Calanmai.  You guys, we should have fucking known.  From the very moment she first laid eyes on him, she thought he was the most male alive. It just is so crazy for me to go back and read the scene with him playing with her, acting like he knew her.  When really he did.  He knew her from his dreams and she had no idea.  How crazy that must have been for him to see her for the first time and know that he couldn’t have more.  He couldn’t have pursued another conversation with her, lest someone see and report back to Amarantha.  I know when I first read that scene in ACOTAR I knew that Rhys was going to come back and play a significant part but I was more annoyed than anything that she was giving him attention when she already had one attractive male Fae…

Also….partly terrified that Feyre has to be anywhere near Tamlin during Calamani but let’s be real…she can easily handle him.

EDIT:  I actually read a thread from Maas’ FB where she said that Calanmai had actually passed while Rhys and Feyre were in the cabin soooo we do NOT have to worry about this.  REPEAT, we do not have to worry.

Visit at the Manor


Lucien interrupted, “What do you know about anything? You’re just Amarantha’a whore.”

“Her whore I might me, but not without my reasons.” I flinched as his voice whetted itself into an edge.  “At least I haven’t bided my time among the hedges and flowers while the world has gone to hell.”

This quote is something else because in the first book, it literally means NOTHING to us. We know nothing about Rhysand, other than the fact that Lucien and Tamlin hate his guts.  By default, I started to, too.  And even though this quote really has nothing to do with Feyre, I needed to include it because damn if I didn’t want to strangle Lucien after going back to this part after ACOMAF.  Those two idiots from Spring Court knew NOTHING of what this amazing guy was putting himself through in order to save his home. I hate knowing that so many don’t know what he sacrificed for almost fifty whole years.


”But I was so selfish—I was so stupidly selfish that I couldn’t walk away without knowing your name.  And you were looking at me like I was a monster, so I told myself it didn’t matter, anyway.  But you liked when I asked.  I knew you did.  I had your mind in my hands, and you had the defiance and foresight to lie to my face. So I walked away from you again. I vomited my guys up as soon as I left.”


Rhysand now faced the High Lord, and his perfect face was void of emotion before his brows rose.  A flicker of excitement—perhaps even disbelief—flashed across his features, but he whipped his head to Lucien.

Again, in ACOTAR, this entire scene just really cemented my dislike for Rhys.  All we see the first time around is how cruel he is.  How he makes Feyre cower before him and Tamlin beg for her life on his knees. What this really is—him, having to hide how crazy excited he is to see Feyre one last time while also probably feeling a dagger to the gut, knowing that she’s in love with fucking Tamlin of all people and also fearing how involved Feyre is in their lives, knowing that she could be dragged to Under the Mountain as well.  And the fact that we find out that this encounter rattles him so much that he pukes his guts up afterwards..just makes me so sad that I ever thought he was a horrible person.  DAMN YOU MAAS.

Under the Mountain


And then I learned your name.  Hearing you say it…it was like an answer to a question I’d been asking for five hundred years.

“I decided, then and there, that I was going to fight.  And I would fight dirty, and kill and torture and manipulate, but I was going to fight.

SCREAMS.  He had to act like nothing was wrong.  Like he didn’t just learn the name of the girl that was probably his mate.  He had to look cold and disinterested, like he couldn’t care less that he was the cause of Clare Beddor’s torture and death—all in the name of throwing Aramantha off the scent of Feyre.  He was so good at fully immersing himself in the character that he needed to be in front of Lucien and Tamlin and EVERYONE for that matter, that we just have zero clue what he goes through in book one.  None at all.  And that makes my heart hurt so horribly for him.

Feyre’s Cell


“What do you want?” I demanded.

“A moment of peace and quiet,” he snapped, rubbing his temples.

I paused. “From what?”

He massaged his pale skin, making the corners of his eyes go up and down, out and in. He sighed.  “From this mess.”

“Because I’m tired and lonely, and you’re the only person I can talk to without putting myself at risk.”


”And that last night, when I found you two in the hall…I was jealous.  I was jealous of him, and pissed off that he’d used that one shot of being unnoticed not to get you out, but to be with you, and…Amarantha saw that jealousy.  She saw me kissing you to hide the evidence, but she saw why.  For the first time, she saw why.  So that night, after I left you, I had to…service her.  She kept me there longer than usual, trying to squeeze the answers out of me.  But I have her what she wanted to hear: that you were nothing, that you were human garbage, that I’d use and discard you.  Afterward…I wanted to see you.  One last time.  Alone. I thought about telling you everything—but who I’d become, who you thought I was…I didn’t dare shatter that deception.”

I honestly think that this scene hit me the hardest when I went back and read it in ACOTAR. In this instance Rhys is truly stripped bare for the first time.  It breaks my fucking heart that we had no fucking idea he felt that way about Feyre.. NONE. He was tired and stressed and just fucking done with playing games with Aramantha.  He didn’t want to spend time with Feyre just because there was peace and quiet in her cell. No.  He wanted to just see her.  To be reminded that there was something better out there.  Something other than the hell he had been living for the last fifty years.  And even if Feyre was to fail the next day, at least he could have spent one last moment with her—trying to let that small moment chase away the horribleness that he would have had to endure just minutes before.  It breaks my heart to think about.

Feyre’s Last Trial

And I knew as I picked up that knife to kill her…I knew right then what you were. I knew that you were my mate, and you were in love with another male, and had destroyed yourself to save him, and that…that I didn’t care.  If you were going to die, I was going to die with you.  I couldn’t stop thinking it over and over as you screamed, as I tried to kill her: you were my mate, my mate, my mate.


-“Feyre!” someone roared.  No, not someone—Rhysand.

Rhysand yelled my name again—yelled it as though he cared.

Then Rhysand was on his feet, my bloody knife in his hands.  He launched himself at Amarantha, swift as a shadow, the ash dagger aimed at her throat.

-I ached my back, my spine straining to the point of cracking, and Rhysand bellowed my name as I lost my grip.


”But your final trial came, and…When she started torturing you, something snapped in a way I couldn’t explain, only that seeing you bleeding and screaming undid me.  It broke me at last…

But then she snapped your neck.”

Tears rolled down his face.

“And I felt you die,” he whispered.

Tears were sliding down my own cheeks.

“And this beautiful, wonderful thing that had come into my life, this gift from the Cauldron…It was gone.”

This. This is some kind of horror that I will never be able to comprehend.  The first time that I read this, I think I thought that he had just started caring about her because of their bond and that they had reached some sort of peace.  But NO. He felt that way because he finally knew that she was his mate.  His equal. And he friggen found that out as she was being killed.  How messed up as that?!  I know at this point the first time around, not only was I like…starting to silently applaud Rhys for trying to help her, I also started noticing how Tamlin did…nothing. Feyre—a fucking human girl—left the newfound comfortable lifestyle that her sisters were again living, journeyed to Under the Fucking Mountain and went through three excruciating trials for that mother fucker and what did he do??!? He begged for her life.  RHYS WENT AFTER AMARANTHA WITH A KNIFE.  Over and over again until he couldn’t anymore. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.  

My Mate


He bowed at the waist, those wings vanishing entirely, and had begun to fade into the nearest shadow when he went rigid.  His eyes locked on mine, wide and wild, and his nostrils flared. Shock—pure shock flashed across his features at whatever he saw on my face, and he stumbled back a step. Actually stumbled.

“What is—” I began.
He disappeared—simply disappeared, not a shadow in sight—into the crisp air. 


”When I went to leave you…I think transforming you into Fae made the bond lock into place permanently.  I’d known it exsisted, but it hit me then—hit me so strong that I panicked.  I knew if I stayed a second longer, I’d damn the consequences and take you with me. And you’d hate me forever.  

I landed at the Night Court, right as Mor was waiting for me, and I was so frantic, so…unhinged, that I told her everything.  I hadn’t seen her in fifty years, and my first words to her were, ‘She’s my mate.’  And for three months…for three months I tried to convince myself that you were better off without me.  I tried to convince myself that everything I’d done had made you hate me.  But I felt you through the bond, through your open mental shields.  I felt your pain, and sadness, and loneliness.  I felt you struggling to escape the darkness aof Amarantha the same way I was.  I heard you were going to marry him, and I told myself you were happy.  I should let you be happy, even if it killed me.  Even if you were my mate, you’d earned that happiness.”

Ummmmmmm can we just talk about the fact that Rhys was down there for FIFTY YEARS and he’s worried about Feyre being there for three months?!  He is putting her mental health above his own.  Yes she had to kill two people and DIED defending Tamlin but he was mentally and sexually abused for fifty years with no one there to help heal him..He had the weight of trying to conceal and save his entire court and people that entire time.  She DOES deserve that happiness and safety but so does he.  A thousand fucking times over.  Like he sees his only family after fifty years but he is so torn up about finding out Feyre was his mate that that is literally all he can say to Mor when he first sees her.  How crazy is that?  He already loved Feyre that much.  I get butterflies every single moment that I think about it.  So here we are folks…even though a good portion of this was quotes…in a Word document this is six, almost seven pages.  This is what wine and a bit of passion will do to you.  And if you read ACOMAF, even after not liking ACOTAR, you’ll see what I mean!!

Why can’t I make you stay no matter how hard I try?
Why does my efforts for you always mean goodbye?
Am I not even worthy? Everything always fall apart;
I hear now the breaking and mourning of my heart

I know that you know that baby I love you so
But why do you always have to come and go?
You always make me feel I am in your mind game
But it’s my choice to say, I must take the blame

Don’t you think I am never hurt with your actions?
Hell, like you, I am a human being prone to emotions
Why do you always have to make me feel like this?
The truth about you and us is something I always miss

Despite everything, I am here begging for you to stay
Ironically, you fill me with happiness coated in grey
I need you more than ever, I need you to be here
But as I chase you, you keep on running further


There is legit only one word to describe Kisame…


He’s legit swag in everything he is, and everything he does. And poor babby’s backstory is sad. His question and search for true loyalty all throughout his existence in the series was so sad I spent most Kisame episodes either laughing because swag game too strong, or clutching my chest in a desperate attempt to hold my breaking heart from outside my thoracic cavity.

Also, I like the way he speaks. Everything he says (in the Japanese dub version) sounds perverted. It’s not what he says, it’s how he says it. He could be talking about some new form of sashimi and make it sound like it belongs in the shameshame territory.

Another reason why I love him, doesnt even need words, man.

…for reals.


OK, I’m done.

As for drawing this guy, I will admit, the blue skin thing was…new…but yolo, he’s a fishy babu. I WAS going to draw Hidan, but for some reason I had selective artist’s block or something bc he just wouldnt turn out legit. So meh, KISAME. And this was in the waiting room of a tyre replacement shop drinking watery hot chocolate, safe to say I am quite proud of myself.

But next, I’ll either draw Hidan or Zetsu (TT____TT)

Saving Itachi for the last bc sister want’s her bae to be perfect.

Euro 2016 Champions: Portugal!

I think by now you guys know that my fav teams have always been Spain and Germany. Spain naturally because I am a Real Madrid fan. So, when the final ended up being Portugal vs France, I was shocked because Germany was the best team in the tournament in my opinion but I was slightly bias towards Portugal because of Ronaldo and the fact that he plays for Real Madrid. So the win would still be in the family somehow even if my two fav teams were out. 

Then when the match finally started, he was injured 2-3 times and couldn’t play on. At first I thought oh it’s minor accident he’ll be okay but it just got worst to the point where he actually called himself off and cried too because it was the finals and he wasn’t going to play. I will never understand why some people make fun of him for crying. There is nothing wrong with a man crying about something he is so passionate about. It’s actually beautiful. I like a man who can cry and smile. It shows he has a heart and feelings. And in return, I started crying while watching him be carried off the field. It was so sad. He’s so passionate about football that all I thought was you have got to be kidding me!? Why is this happening now of all times? The entire mood in the stadium just went downhill from there. Even the commentators didn’t know how to express joy for the rest of the match. It was just a dull and bitter atmosphere. It was as if the winner had already been announced so there was no point in playing. I feel like losing Ronaldo to an injury right at the start of the game not only affected the Portugal players but the France players too. No great player should have to leave the field like that, beat them in the game, don’t injure them so terribly. 

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A quarter of love

You’ve used my blood for ink, love letters that weren’t for me. You’ve used my heart to comfort another, some nights I still hear their laughter– this is enjoyment for you, you thrive off of pain. This is your doing. You like to undo stitches and call it a smile, you like to confuse silence as another “hey I’m invited” conversation– when I say I love you, darling, I really did mean it. When you say I love you, darling, your feelings were never in it. An empty home with plenty of empty rooms, but you still decided that this, whatever this was– it wasn’t quite enough, so let’s burn a nice house that we haven’t even moved into yet. Let’s make rain cry, let’s make the clouds get it. Let’s spill these flaws, don’t worry– perfection? It’s something we’ve always tossed aside for a chance at anything but stability. You’re a nightmare. There’s nothing poetic about it. I’ve been trying to fill in the spaces, I’ve been trying to superglue my heart back together– I cannot fix everything if you’re constantly breaking it all simultaneously. I can’t love you anymore than your shadow does. Because behind closed doors, we all know the truth. Behind those curtains, we know. We know everything that has happened and will happen. You’re pushing. I’m pulling. You’re there and me? I’m just sick and tired of every excuse being pointed back towards me. The truth is… when you love someone… there’s a chance that it’s going to end up one sided and I don’t know about you… but that’s one fucked up game of heads or tails. Heads? You fuck me over. Tails? You fuck us over.

Scandal Review, The Lawn Chair, Episode 414

I’m sat here, hours after watching this episode, and I literally can’t stop crying. My eyes are puffy, there’s snot running down my nose, and I can taste the salt from the tears on my face. Oh, and to top it off, I have a headache the size of Mount Etna.

Man, that was a lot. That was a lot.

It was a truly wonderful, well done episode of TV, and honestly it deserves all the awards. The great thing about having a black showrunner, is that stories like these can be told from our perspective. I wish Shonda would use her powers for good more often, but The Lawn Chair was beautiful, heartbreaking story-telling. 

I give the writers a lot of crap on this show, and rightly so, because episodes like the one tonight, is proof that these people have the ability to create amazing tv that literally touches our souls. Zahir and Shondaland brought their A game tonight. 


Anyway, without further ado, let’s get into this episode.

What I Hated

1.  Jake.

Always Jake. Once again, he was pointless in this episode. I assume that he’s part of OPA now, but that feels like such a cheap way to go with him as a character. The writers obviously can’t be bothered even writing decent dialogue for him these days, let alone give him a decent story line. Not that I care, mind you, because I just want him gone for good. When Olivia pretend-yawned at him to get him off the phone, I got my life. And did you all notice the subtle eye-roll from Olivia? I did, and I lived. 

Another episode that excelled when his total contribution to the show was less than three minutes of screen time.

2.  Fitz opting to choose an un-electable candidate for the VP’s job so that Mellie can run virtually unchallenged was annoying as hell, but I’ll get to that later.

What I Loved

1.0  Courtney B. Vance and Kerry Washington did their thing. 

Man, they had great chemistry.  My heart broke and kept breaking for a father who’d just learned that his son had been murdered by a cop. I can’t even imagine the pain.

2.  Olivia: “I can get the attorney general here

Unfortunately, David wasn’t ready to listen to her because he was about to go into a meeting with Fitz and Cyrus. And besides, it was way too early in the game to bring the big guns out.

3.  David: “We could impeach him

But of course nobody can impeach Andrew, because then everything would have to come out about how Fitz went to war for his ex mistress, so that wasn’t going to wash.

4.  Fitz: “I am tired of my Vice Presidents trying to overthrow me

Well Fitz, you need to choose better candidates.

5.  Fitz: “Mellie’s next, I promised her. She doesn’t need the competition

I think that we were all Cyrus when Fitz said this. He looked as incredulous as I felt. The idea that Mellie wants to be president without working for it, shouldn’t surprise me. Mellie Grant hasn’t worked a day in her life, so why should she start now? She’s literally the epitome of an entitled white woman, who doesn’t realize how privileged she is.

6.  Cyrus: “Do you know what an uphill battle it’s going to be for Mellie to go from being First Lady, to being president" 

Tell him Cyrus!

I’ve been giving Scandal a hard time for not treating Mellie’s ambitions for the presidency with the disdain that it deserves, but actually I think that they have more to say about her ambitions and how qualified she is to even consider being the party’s presidential nominee, than I originally suspected..  I’m assuming they’re making her look lazy and stupid on purpose, because if she’s supposed to come across as presidential, the writers and Bellamy are failing big time.

7.  Police Chief: ”Neighborhood activist, he’s given us trouble before

Ugh. Freaking judgey cops.

8.  ”Mr Parker’s my neighbor, he drove me home from the hospital when I was three days old

Man, I liked Marcus Walker straight away.  I could totally see him at OPA. He’d be a great replacement for Harrison. Shonda, can you make this happen? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

9.  Olivia - ”I’m not the enemy
     Marcus- ”Are you sure?

Marcus basically calling out Olivia for not being black enough. More on that later.

Was I the only person who was reminded of Jesse Williams. Knowing Shonda, Marcus was probably inspired by him.

10.  ”You’re about getting a white Republican president elected. Twice.

Way too judgey Marcus. But I still like you.

11.  Marcus:  ”No thanks Olivia, your black card isn’t getting validated today

For all those people who probably forgot that Olivia Pope is actually black.

The scenes between Marcus and Olivia were just so interesting to me. And his attitude is actually one that I’ve experienced from within the black community. I’ve been told that I wasn’t black enough because I talked "like a white person”. Seriously, when I was growing up, some black folks had a problem with the way I spoke. The fact that I loved reading was even a problem.

My parents weren’t rich or anything, but we were comfortable in comparison to a lot of my friends, and somehow living in a nice neighborhood, being well educated, and not speaking in Ebonics made me less black. When I was younger it used to bother me that I wasn’t as “black” as my friends, but I’m older now, and I’ve realized that the ones who felt that I wasn’t black enough for whatever reason, were the ones with the problem, not me. I can’t tell you what a relief it was to finally cast those insecurities where they belonged.

12.  Olivia: “The fact that they stand in groups and say things that you do not like does not make them a mob, it makes them Americans

I was so proud.

13.  Olivia “Stand up, fight back, no more black men under attack

I was chanting and punching the air along with them.

14.  Susan Ross: “I’ve been thinking a lot about vaccination protocols!

This was the perfect time for Mellie to step up, and look the part, but nope, she dons a fake smile, and tries to get rid of Susan without hearing her out.  This is the woman who wants to be president, and she doesn’t even have any interest in making time to hear a newly elected senator out, or at least pretend to. Convincingly. Mellie’s case for being president grows ever weaker.

Mellie Stans may think that her looking in disgust at Susan and pretty much dismissing her was funny, but it highlighted all the ways that Mellie has no chance of being president. She never sees the big picture until it’s too late.

15.  "I never let Brandon leave the house without him saying where he was going. I never fell asleep until I heard his key turn in the lock. No being around girls. We fought about that one. A lot.

It may sound so simple to you, but I just kept saying to myself, “get him to eighteen”. Get him a diploma, don’t let him end up dead, locked up. There was a thrift store down on Browning Road. I used to buy Brandon old portable radios, TVs calculators, cheap crap. Because he loved taking stuff apart. Seeing how it worked, he always had a mind for that kind of thing. He was gonna do the apprentice thing after graduation, become an electrical contractor. 

Even though he wasn’t going to, college, I put a University of Maryland sticker on my car anyway so if he ever got pulled over, the cops wouldn’t think that he was just a thug.

I could literally feel an ache in my heart for Clarence. OK, I’m crying again.

16.  Chief Connors: "Who’s side are you on here?
       Olivia “Not yours”

Olivia joining the protesters despite fear of being tear-gassed.

This moment was so powerful for me as an Olivia Pope fan. You could see that she was frightened to death, she knew that in that crowd, there was a chance that she would no longer be Olivia Pope, and she’d be just another black face. Part of the unruly mob.

17.  Mellie: “You told me that you were going to pick someone boring and unelectable. I prostituted myself so that you would get your mistress back, and now, you’re going to take someone young and charismatic, and female and Latina, and make her the Vice President of the United States, how dare you! What happened to my turn!?

Mellie lies so much she can’t keep any of it straight. Last week she was sleeping with Andrew to save Liz and her daughter. Or did I dream that part? I’m still staggered that she literally wants to walk into the White House as president without having to work hard for it. I can’t.

18.  Olivia “you talk about fairness and justice as if it’s available to everybody, but it’s not! That man standing over his son’s body thinks he knows that he’s going to end up in one of two places, a jail cell or a drawer in the morgue, and to hell if I can’t look him in the eye and tell him that he’s wrong. I can’t fix this David. I have nothing left, no more tricks in my bag, it’s too much. It’s too…much.

My poor broken, exhausted Olivia.

19.  Liv: “I thought I was going to die. For about a week straight, I thought I was a goner. I lived in complete and total fear. Imagine feeling like that every single day of your life.


20.  Fitz “Let’s pick a VP that won’t get in your way”
Mellie “I have one
Fitz “Competent?”
Mellie “Yes, and completely un-electable.

21.  We know that this is going to come back to bite Mellie in the ass. Susan Ross was completely un-electable as a senator, until Olivia made her electable. She cares, and she has a heart, and she’s genuine, and she’s smart. And most of all, she’s accomplished more by herself as a single mom, than Mellie has as the wife of the president.

22.  Jake coming into OPA and making random noises at Huck and Quinn:

Fuck me, he’s pointless.

23.  Olivia: ”Talk faster or say less

I’m gonna use this in my real life from now on.

24.  Jeff Newton: ”God what the hell is it with you people?
Olivia: ”Us people?
Jeff Newton: ”Yeah, you people! I didn’t misspeak. You people have no idea what loyalty is, what respect is. You’re here because you were supposed to help us, instead you spent every second of it trying to tear us down, tear me down, push your own damned agenda!

The truth is those people in Rosemead have no respect for anything or anyone. No, they’re like you, they just take whatever they want and they have no problems turning their backs on the people who gave it to them. People like me, who strap on their boots everyday, kiss their wife and kids goodbye and trek 40 miles into a city where everyone including little babies are taught to look at us like the enemy. They are taught to question me, to disobey me. And still, I risk my life for these people, every day for seven years, I’ve allowed myself to be disrespected and hated by these people, all to protect them from themselves. I mean all I hear about on the news are dirty cops, cops who shoot innocent black kids, it’s crap! There were eighty four murders in this city last year. Were all of those cops shooting innocent black boys? Hell, no! Those were blacks turning guns on each other, and yet somehow I’m the animal!

Brandon Parker is dead because he didn’t have respect. Because those people out there who are chanting and crying over his body, they didn’t teach him the right values. They didn’t teach him respect. He didn’t respect me. He didn’t respect my badge. Questioning my authority was not his right! His blood is not on my hands!“

Man, I was so mad. Kudos to the actor for eliciting so much rage in me, because if I’d been Olivia, I would have straight up choked him out. And the unbearably sad reality is that many cops feel this way about black people. About black children. They don’t recognize black humanity. There are many Jeff Newtons out there, wearing badges, and promising to protect and serve as long as the people they’re trying to protect and serve aren’t black.

25.  Susan Ross in the Oval Office gave me a few deserved lighter moments. I really, really like her.

Mellie: The president is asking you to be his new Vice President”
Susan: “Why?”
Fitz: “Why?”
Susan: “I’m a terrible choice, I just got elected.”
Fitz: “That’s why I’m asking you. This town has a way of taking people and turning them into politicians, I don’t want a politician”
Susan “But if I was the Vice President and something happened to you…”
Fitz: “Then you would be president”
Susan “But I don’t want to be president, I mean no offense, but your job is the worst job in the entire universe.”
CindersinRags “Halle-freaking-lujah!”

Somebody in the White House who doesn’t actually want Fitz’s job. Yessss! This is so going to backfire on Mellie. Susan is literally everything that she’s not. She’s worked hard, has raised an adorable little girl by herself and has an actual platform and she’s not just a talking head. This is gonna be good.

26.  Susan: “That poor man who’s son was shot dead in the streets, my God! If anything like that ever happened to Casey, my daughter, she’s ten. If anything like that ever happened to her, but of course she’s white and the daughter of a senator so the police are actually going to think twice before shooting her, but that poor man, he raised that boy all by himself, can you even imagine what he’s going through right now? I can’t, I would die, I would literally die on the spot. I would have to kill myself.

The look on her face when she realized that she was talking to two people who’d just lost their son. I really like Susan. I love her and her verbal  diarrhoea.

27.  Fitz: “Mr Parker, I’m so sorry for your loss

I love that Olivia took him to meet the president. Two fathers who’d both lost a son.

28.  "Call me Clarence. My son’s name was…. Brandon

The realization of where he was, and that his son was dead.  Oh God. I cried so hard at this point. His boy, his precious child, dead. Brandon was just a baby. His baby.

Fitz consoling him was just…so touching. And heartbreaking.

And I’m crying again.

Random Thoughts

I love the fact that white certain people  are offended and swearing blind they’ll never watch Scandal again. That says more about them, than it does about this episode in my opinion. I think a lot of those people had probably forgotten that not only is the showrunner black, so is the lead actress, and the events at Ferguson couldn’t help but affect them personally. Hell, I think most of them had forgotten that Olivia Pope is black, and whilst some might see that as a good thing whilst wearing their Utopian All Lives Matter spectacles, as a black person, that’s the opposite of what most of us want. The reality is, we just don’t want our color to be the thing that people judge us on before they even get to know us. We don’t want our color to be the reason that a 12 year old boy is shot, while a guy who murdered 12 people in a movie theater gets to stay alive.

This episode of Scandal will be the one that fans will remember for a long time. I can’t say that I’ve ever felt so much emotion watching a TV drama. When a show can make you feel so much within an hour, it really deserves to be recognized. It truly was a brilliant episode, and my hats go off to the writers, the actors and everybody involved in this episode. Well done.

How amazing was the music tonight? When I Am Released started playing, I started sobbing and I couldn’t stop. Especially when they zipped Brandon into a body bag.

Olivia is going through it. All episode, you could see that just putting one foot in front of the other was hard for her. There was an air of sadness that clung to her throughout the show and honestly it broke my heart.  And her hands shaking made me cry. Powerful indestructible Olivia Pope. That facade was always that, a facade, but now, she’s barely holding herself together.  My baby girl needs therapy. And soon.


I’ve already said it, but I predict that Susan Ross will wind up being an amazing VP, and she’s gonna have Fitz’s back, unlike his other power hungry  VPs. Mellie literally just made life so much harder for herself, and she doesn’t know it. How delicious…

Olivia is obviously going to have to break down. She’s so tightly wound that it won’t take much to make her snap. I’m praying for some sort of release for her. She needs to grieve for herself, and she desperately needs to forgive herself.

No Jamie and Claire Gifs this week, but a drink or two was certainly needed to get through The Lawn Chair, so here’s Snow…

What your favorite Blurryface song says about you
  • Heavydirtysoul: I play the rock band game drums while crying in my free time
  • Stressed Out: Angst (TM)
  • Ride: I like nature and mixed emotions
  • Fairly Local: the >:] emoji personified
  • Tear in my Heart: SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA BLEED TO KNO-*breaks something*
  • Lane Boy: I'm so edgy...fuck the government
  • The Judge: I like this band more than I should
  • Doubt: I'm 13
  • Polarize: I'm gay
  • We Don’t Believe What’s On TV: I'm just here to have a good time
  • Message Man: everything I wear is black and I'm also gay
  • Hometown: my life is awful....I cry so often....my pillow....is wet....
  • Not Today: strangely optimistic
  • Goner: this song makes me happy. why tho... it's so pretty save me
Fandoms in a nutshell

Just so you’ll never actually have to watch/read anything.

  • Supernatural: Everybody dies, and more people die.
  • Doctor Who: Everybody dies, and then everybody cries.
  • Sherlock: Everybody lies, dies, denies, and cries.
  • Merlin: Everybody gets pissed off, and does a bunch of wacky shit to make it better.
  • My Little Pony: Everybody does magic and things magically get better.
  • Divergent: Everybody dies, cries, and break the readers’ hearts.
  • Harry Potter: Everybody turns to one random wizard to save the day.
  • Star Trek: Everybody yells at Scottie and Spock.
  • Percy Jackson: Everybody gets confused because the prophecy was about some random kid and not the main character who they thought it was about.
  • Adventure Time: Everybody makes weird noises and odd faces, then suddenly everything is fixed.
  • Game of Thrones: Everybody has sex, and then they all die.
  • Marvel: Loki, you little shit.

feistyvagabond  asked:

Question: who do you like best Enchanted Forest Snow or Storybrooke Snow??

That depends.  

Nothing beats Storybrooke Snow when she’s self aware with Regina.  Give me all the Snow from 3.18 and 4.08/4.09.  The woman who knows she’s not pure and adores her grumpy difficult best friend.  They sass each other and they enjoy it.  And yes Regina lands most of the blows but when Snow chooses to fire back you get such great moments like “I’m not sure that’s physically possible” and “If the mayor has only one villain to worry about, and it’s herself…”  And Regina isn’t insulted she’s proud.

But there is something I deeply love about bandit snow pre-cricket game.  Because she is so sad and so desperate for the woman she loves to still be buried under the mad woman trying to kill her.  That Snow knows that Regina’s rage comes from pain.  I love that despite everything she hasn’t given up on her.  And it’s one of the things about the Cricket Game that breaks my heart… because it’s when Snow finally does give up on her.  And it’s so crushing.

I mean look at this picture and tell me that’s not a woman who has just had her heart broken.

The Reign of Terror and the Misguided Light

Going into episode 18, I was absolutely terrified. I was dreading it all day, and while I had already seen the livestream, I had to wait until later at night to watch it with subs.

Now that I’m here thought I honestly feel a lot of mixed emotions. I’ve been reading so many of what other people are saying about how either they don’t recognize So anymore or that they have lost faith in him. Then I’m here like—uh, not really??

Here’s how I see it.

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