everyone's a robot

Jack Zimmermann on drunk history.

So, we’re talking years down the line. Stanley cup champion Jack Zimmermann has come out, married Bitty. They are both degrees of celebrity and Jack entertains people with random historical rants on twitter. Like, there’ll be nothing for two months then a mass of tweets about some battle you’ve never heard of then nothing again for weeks or whatever.

And the drunk history people approach his agent who turns it down because Jack and alcohol but Jack finds out. And he’s like, I see where you’re coming from but I’m in a good place and within limits I’m willing to do this. So the drunk history people have to agree to not push him to drink more, Bitty and Shitty are both going to be there but he’s basically up for this.

And everyone but everyone is expecting uptight hockey robot Jack Zimmermann being, like, 110% intense about hockey history or something.

Instead they get Jack Zimmermann speaking about historical gay romance, lying in his husband’s lap and keeping interupting his own stories to tell Bitty just how much he loves him. Bitty is delighted. Shitty cries at the beauty of it. The world loves it. When he sobers up again Jack is kind of shy about it in a pleased way. Like, if you mention it to him he blushes and smiles and talks about hockey at you.

It’s adorable.

It’s all me! / (more)

7

yooo rn these are pretty much it? they might change when i get to know some characters better or see other headcanons I like so much I integrate them into my art but YEAH

basically, nobody is straight