everyone snickered

Context: We’re playing a halloween oneshot campaign for paranoia with premade characters. One of them has the secret goal to stab as many people as possible with a certain knife that would summon eldritch horrors by drawing a card. He has just done so.

DM: All right… let’s see here… *draws a card and starts snickering*

Everyone: What is it?

DM:They’re really scraping the bottom of the eldritch horror here… You just summoned A Literal Roomba.

*Laughter from table*

DM: The strange device turns on and begins to suck up the dirt floor, digging itself into a hole in the process. After a few minutes of this a light turns on and it says “Filter change needed.”

enoch o'connor taking a liking in you would include:

- you’d be really shy because it was your first day at the children’s home

- he’d be partly welcoming, partly his usual self

- at your first lunch/dinner, he’d say “you can sit by me. i don’t necessarily bite”

- you’d give him a shy smile and do as he suggested

- he’d be watching you from his room while you keep the children company in the garden

- if you ever needed help, he’d be the first to volunteer

- everyone would quietly snicker and laugh at him

- “look, enoch’s in love”

- “shut up, horace” 

- you wouldn’t understand what was happening that moment, but it didn’t matter a big deal to you

- he’d look at you with the look that said “she’s such a goddess” when you weren’t looking 

- you would, of course, be oblivious of the situation

- everyone else would be telling you enoch likes you

- you’d deny it, because why would such a gent like someone like you?

- of course you’d like him back

- actually, i think he would confess his feelings at the worst time possible

I’m a nice person I just hate everyone

8

J-Hope: *the emo guy who likes poems* i really like poems

Yoongi: ill listen…

J-Hope: *reads poem* *puts fake tears on his face to make it more dramatic and emo* *not enough emo x drama* *throws water from bottle at his face* *keeps reading*

Yoongi: *not enough drama x emo for yoongs* *takes bottle throws even more water at Hobis faceu*

Everyone else: *snickering + trying to keep their shiteu together*


😂😂😂😂😂😂

DM: Alright you guys get one roll for a weird thing

Me: I want a pitbull to follow me around *rolls an 11*

DM: No

Dude to my left: I want to ejaculate on command!

Everyone starts dying for about five minutes until the DM can reel us back in. He rolls a 7 and doesn’t get his ability.

*Later*

DM: The top hat sprouts legs and starts crawling around and snarling in the bathroom. He dodges the toilet paper thrown at him.

Dude to my left(ooc): See?! This the perfect time to start ejaculating on command! 

DM: *Sighs* okay… who thinks he should have the ability to.. ejaculate on command.

Everyone: *snickers and raises their hand*

Dude on my left(ooc): *rolls and gets a 12* Hell yeah!! 

He ended up getting to ejaculate on command, but I offered my drink to the guy controlling the demon hat and thats how we defeated it. 

The scene where Jyn says “May the Force be with us” right before going into battle

This moment’s amazing because everyone is gathered around expecting some dramatic, sweeping, emotional speech. But Jyn “As little social interaction as I can get away with” Erso simply says “May the Force be with us.” And everyone sort of snickers because when it comes down to it, that’s all the encouragement they need. They know how strong the Force is and that it will take care of them on such an important mission. 

Also, shout-out to Chirrut who literally almost fainted because he was so swept away in the moment. 

anonymous asked:

i feel like,, thomas is very scary bc y'know... tall af, prettier than u, wit as sharp as his eyeliner, but then everyone sees him fall on his face as he tries to impress ham. after that, everyone kinda snickers at his broken nose

He grabs everyone’s attention intentionally and then he fucks up.

(x)

Inquisitor Adaar doesn’t smile often. Usually, she looks stoic and strong–cut jawline and hard brow. It’s mysterious and brooding and all those other good words one could use to describe a girl Sera would whisper dirty things to in the middle of Val Royeaux.

It also makes the times she does break out into a grin, the corners of her eyes crinkling, all the more rewarding.

Sera turns it into a bit of a game; make the Lady Inquisitor crack a smile as often as she can, in the worst situations she can. At first, it’s difficult. Misses that turn into confused little nose wrinkles (nice but not nearly as rewarding) or embarrassing stumbles that leave Adaar confused but everyone else around them snickering under their breath.

But, just like with learning to shoot her bow, Sera keeps trying until she can hit the bulls-eye every time; until getting that heart-melting smile is just as simple as breathing. Inhale, aim, exhale, fire.

Some smiles don’t come easy, though. It makes them all the more worth it, in a way.

“You doin’ aright, Buckles?”

Adaar pauses, flexing her ‘glow hand’, and looks at Sera with this heart-jabbing little frown on her face. She shakes her head, eyes going back to her palm, and shrugs.

“I dunno.”

Adamant was awful for everyone, yeah, but using the mark more and more seemed to be wearing on the Inquisitor. She moved slower, paused more, and seemed hesitant to use magic–something that normally came to her so naturally it didn’t even startle Sera like other mages did. It was like pulling at the Fade made the mark hurt more.

“Need anything, hmm?” Sera asks, moving to sit next to her. Adaar shrugs, eyes still on her palm.

“A new hand, maybe?”

Sera laughs and nudges her arm. “I’ll work on it.” she says, “Want it to shoot lighting for you? Instead of wasting your mage-y skills?”

“That would be double the lightning.” Adaar drawls, glancing sideways at Sera and–there it is!

The Inquisitor cracks a little smile, lips pulling up on one side, and Sera’s enchanted for a moment. It’s so subtle compared to her other expressions; no cut lines or sharp edges. It’s all soft and gentle, soft crinkles and freckles shifting as her lips move. She has to reach out and touch it, fingers dancing over Adaar’s cheek, and this only serves to widen the grin.

“Man, I’m good at this.” Sera muses and slides her fingers along Adaar’s jawline, beckoning her in closer.

Adaar obliges, right hand snaking around Sera’s waist, and raises a brow at her. “Good at what?” she asks as Sera tosses her legs over her lap and snuggles in closer.

“Mm, nothing.” Sera quips, stealing a kiss before further questions come.

The kiss is just as soft as the smile–gentle and delicate and nothing you’d expect from someone so tough and unyielding. Sera climbs into her lap, hands on her shoulders, and pushes her against the back of the couch to break it. Adaar stares up at her, only mildly confused, and smiles like she’s seen the most beautiful thing in the world. Sera can only take a moment of it before she reaches up and puts a hand over the other woman’s eyes.

“Stoppit.” she hisses, ducking in for another kiss with her hand still over Adaar’s eyes. “Gonna make me blush.”

“You? Blush? I can’t picture it.” Adaar drawls, lips brushing against Sera’s as they part.

Sera stifles a little laugh. “No, you can’t.” she says, “Cause I’m covering yer eyes.”

Adaar’s laugh is as soft and sweet and rewarding as her smile–if not more–and Sera uses her free hand to try and rub the redness from her cheeks. Maker take this woman, really, before she’s the death of her.

“You, uh, feelin’ better yet?” Sera asks, finally lowering her hand and settling down in Adaar’s lap. “Or do I still need to find you a new hand?”

The Inquisitor smiles wider–so rewarding–and shakes her head. “No, no,” she says, “this is good.”

Sera laughs and taps a finger against the other woman’s freckled nose. “We’ll see about the new hand business later, yeah? When you don’t need it anymore?” she offers, “Sound good?”

That soft, gentle expression doesn’t falter for a second. If anything, it gets ‘worse’ right before Sera’s eyes.

“Yeah,” she says, “sounds great.”

Lily Evans Do You Love Me?!
  • First year
  • James: *stands up on the table* LILY EVENS!
  • *Everyone looks to see what he's yelling about.
  • Lily: Oh god.
  • James: I HEREBY DECLARE THAT BY OUR SEVENTH YEAR I WILL MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.
  • Lily: *covering face* Stop you're embarrassing me.
  • James: OTHERWISE I WILL DIE OF SHAME RIGHT HERE IN THE GREAT HALL!
  • Lily: I already did that.
  • Mcgonagall: JAMES POTTER GET OFF THE TABLE!
  • Second year
  • James: LILY EVANS! *climbs onto the table during lunch*
  • Lily: Potter don't you dare!
  • James: IT HAS BEEN A FULL YEAR AND I AM ASKING YOU NOW. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME YET?
  • *everyone looks at Lily snickering*
  • Lily: NO YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!
  • James: I REPEAT YOU WILL LOVE ME BY OUR SEVENTH YEAR!
  • Lily: Let's go to the library Severus.
  • Severus: Um, okay.
  • James: YOU'LL SEE. WATCH SEVERUS I WILL STEAL HER FROM YOU!
  • McGonagall: Potter, please would you descend from the table.
  • Third year
  • James: *kicks a glass into Remus' lap* PEOPLE OF HOGWARTS. I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY-
  • Lily: Oh lord not again.
  • James: TO ASK ONCE MORE-
  • Lily: Remus do something please
  • Remus: *whispers tugging on James robes* James please-
  • James: QUIET REMUS. TO ASK ONCE MORE IF YOU, LILY EVANS, LOVE ME YET?
  • Remus: Please Prongs-
  • Lily: *standing up from the table* No Potter! I don't! I despise you! You're a bully and an idiot! *she storms out with Severus following closely behind smiling broadly*
  • Sirius: ...Haha Prongs.
  • James: Shut up, Padfoot.
  • McGonagall: Detention Mr.Potter.
  • Year four
  • James: *approaches Lily, bows deeply then proceeds to get onto the table and stand in her potatoes*
  • Lily: *glares at him* Must you really?
  • James: ATTENTION TEACHERS AND STUDENTS OF HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY.
  • Mcgonagall: I'm gonna go ahead and write you a week of detention.
  • James: I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY TO ASK YOU ALL TO WITNESS THE MAGNIFICENT TRANSFORMATION IN ME AND LILY EVANS RELATIONSHIP.
  • Lily: There isn't one.
  • James: LILY EVANS ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME YET?
  • Sirius: *chanting rhythmically* Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes.
  • Lily: No. I am not.
  • Severus: Come on Lily, we can go study potions. *they leave*
  • James: She will love me, Wormtail don't look at me like that.
  • Peter: Okay what ever you say.
  • Remus: Get off the table, Prongs.
  • Year Five
  • Remus: I know what you're thinking.
  • James: Yep.
  • Remus: Must you really?
  • James: Yep.
  • First year: *to Peter excitedly* What is it what is he going to do?
  • Peter: You'll see.
  • Sirius: Prongs you know we only dared you to do it our first year.
  • James: Yep.
  • Peter: And you don't have to do it again.
  • James: Yep.
  • Remus: *sighs* get it over with.
  • James: *leaps onto table kicking food everywhere* LILYEVANSDOYOULOVEME?!?!?!
  • LILY: *doesn't look up from her writing* Nope
  • James: *climbs down* I have two years.
  • Lily: Here's your detention slip.
  • Sixth year
  • James: Today's the day I can feel it.
  • Sirius: Is it already?
  • Remus: ...
  • James: *disappears under cloak* I'll wait for her to enter the room. *knocks over a goblet as he stands on the table*
  • Lily: Hello, Remus. Wheres Potter.
  • Remus: He says he feels something. *Sirius and Peter giggle*
  • Lily: Oh, so he's sick.
  • Remus: You could say that. *Sirius and Peter giggle louder*
  • Lily: Well then. *She sits opposite of Remus and reaches for some food but hits something she can't see*
  • James: LILY EVANS.
  • REMUS: *to himself* Perfect timing.
  • James: *throws cloak off* I MUST KNOW HOW DEEPLY AND TRULY YOU LOVE ME! DON'T BE AFRAID TO ANNOUNCE IT! WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE ME!
  • Lily: Your fly is down.
  • James: ...
  • Remus: ...
  • Peter: ...
  • Sirius: ...
  • Lily: *stands up and leaves with a piece of toast*
  • James: WAIT IS THAT A DENIAL OR CONFESSION! EVANS WAIT! YOU SMELL NICE! DOES THAT CHANGE ANYTHING?
  • McGonagall: Potter...
  • James: I know, detention.
  • Seventh year
  • Remus: Oh Prongs come on.
  • Sirius: Seems a little ridiculous.
  • James: It's necessary.
  • Peter: Here she comes.
  • Lily: Morning you guys.
  • James: *Clears throat and steps up onto the table*
  • Lily: Oh lord *turns and starts to leave*
  • James: LILY EVANS! OUR FIRST YEAR I DECLARED I WOULD MAKE YOU LOVE ME BY THIS YEAR! IT'S NOW OR NEVER LILY! YOU EITHER ANNOUNCE TO EVERYONE THAT YOU LOVE ME OR I WILL RUN AWAY WITH SIRIUS!
  • Sirius: I'm down.
  • Lily: *Looks at James furiously* I- *she looks at the table and climbs up facing him* I'M ALREADY YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU ARROGANT TOERAG! DON'T WORRY PROFESSOR WE WILL BOTH REPORT TO DETENTION LATER.
  • James: *climbs down* Padfoot, you own me 10 galleons.
Audrey Jensen- Attention

Request: Can I have an Audrey x reader imagine where the reader comes out I front of the school to distract attention away from Audrey’s vid. Reader didn’t want to come out yet but she wanted to help Audrey who she always had a crush on, you can decide how it ends :)

Author: Isa

Y/N’s POV

Poor Audrey. She was outed in front of the whole school. Everyone saw the video. Believe me, everyone saw it. I couldn’t even imagine how she felt. If that was me… oh god. Poor Audrey…

-

Audrey walks around outside where the rest of our peers are. She is holding her camera, as usual. Everyone is snickering and whispering things while staring at her. I run up behind her. We weren’t exactly friends… I mean we were friendly but, not exactly friends. I really liked her. I’ve been crushing on her for a couple months now. And when I saw the video… I had to admit… I felt heartbroken. There was the girl I liked making out with some… some whore. Part of me wanted to be the blonde making out with Audrey. The other part was scared of the school knowing that I wasn’t straight.

“Audrey,” I say catching up with her. “What, Y/N?” Audrey asks obviously annoyed. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t cool. And hey, I’m okay with gay people. My aunt is a lesbian so, I grew up being pro-gay.” I say trying to signal that she could talk to me. “That’s great, Y/N. Now, you can just leave me alone.” Audrey says. She sounds annoyed at my kind gesture. “Aud, you know that we can always talk. I know we aren’t exactly the best of fri-” I’m stopped by her soft yelling. “Y/N, I don’t need your fucking pity. I know that you and your friends were the reason that the video was uploaded.” Audrey walks away leaving me there alone with everyone’s movement surrounding.

“I’m Bi.” I say, “I’m fucking Bi.” The second time I say it louder so everyone, including Audrey, could hear. She turns around. She got the audio on the recording. Everyone’s eyes turn over to me. Everyone stops moving. “Y/N, what the fuck are you doing?” Audrey says quietly while moving closer to me. “I’m not straight. Pay attention to me…” I say and a loud burst of chatter erupts from the crowd.

Audrey pulls my hand towards the bathroom. She moves through the crowd. She’s pushing everyone out of her way. She holds the door open for me and signals for me to enter. Luckily, the bathroom was empty. “What the fuck were you thinking?” Audrey says kind of pissed off and angry at me. “I wanted to take all the attention away from your video. Audrey, I like you…” I say scared of her reaction.

“You’re an idiot. But, you’re a cute idiot. Come here.” Audrey says grabbing my waist. She crashes her lips on mine. Finally.

chestervelt  asked:

Can you tell us more about the movie? I haven't seen it personally, but GIFs from it are all over my dash

basically! everything i have to say about this movie (The Handmaiden) has been said before. 

1) i dont think the sex scenes were well shot. when i was in the theater, everyone was either snickering or making lewd comments. maybe thats why it got under my skin.

2) i havent seen blue is the warmest colour bc i dont Have Time for sad gay filmés. i have heard the same complaint “male-gazey” about its sex scenes. just bc tumblr liked it in 2014 doesnt mean that… the same complaint cant be made

3) in literally everything else but the sex scenes, the film was Really Well Done. i do not hate the movie itself, it was pretty good except for my beef w/ one particular aspect 

4)im glad they ended up together the characters were beautifully acted besides the weird (imo!) pornographic quality of their sex scenes

5) its weird and bad  to dismiss concerns that people (mostly lesbians but also other women who like women) have about this movie. and to hide it under a “ohhh but you liked this movie about white women!!!!” 

6) it can still be a Good Movie that has Problems. i am glad there is good gay rep. i am glad that both of the actresses were comfortable shooting the sex scenes. we can have a nuanced discussion about this! i recommend seeing the movie 2 everyone who isnt a man.

my beef w/ the handmaiden is laid out for all 2 see. comment if you like

I think way to much about Teen!Stein having a massive crush on Marie (of which she is MASSIVELY oblivious) and flat out not understanding it and trying to explain it medically

-Heart is going thump really hard around her? Check into cardiac related illnesses
-Can’t talk properly around her? Something must be wrong with vocal chords
-Gets all warm when she’s with him? Coming down with a fever
-Has the urge to spend excess amounts of time with her? Clearly, her wavelength must be addictive.
-Is very happy when with her? Her wavelength must help increase serotonin production
-Feels that nervous, butterfly in the stomach feeling? Food poisoning
-Blushes? It was just heat flash

Literally, he thinks up some bullshit reason for just about everything and everyone else is snickering behind their hands because Franken Stein and Marie Mjolnir are mutually pining mofos and neither Marie nor Stein even know that Stein’s pining

Shadowhunters

I can’t wait for the show to come out, but just imagine the ship wars. People shipping Simon and Clary and laughing at the Clace shippers when Valentine tells them they’re siblings. Sizzy shippers silently waiting for their time to arise. And everyone, I mean everyone, shipping MALEC because who wouldn’t ship Malec. Then when Sebastian and Clary kiss, people momentarily shipping them, only to find out in the next episode that they’re siblings. Ahhhh, and the people who read the books snickering at everyone else’s stupidity. Oh, and let’s not forget people trying to decide Jace’s last name.