everyone is their own pr girl

some gorillaz headcanons
  • 2d was a teenager during the 90s which means that he knows all the lyrics to all the quintessential 90s songs. when noodle was little they would blast backstreet boys and nsync throughout kong studios and dramatically sing along and jump on the couch pretending to put on concerts. it helped get noodle used to performing and also taught her how to pronounce words in english. even now as an adult noodle will start playing i want it that way on the home speaker system and 2d will show up in the doorway twenty seconds later dramatically screeching “TELL ME WHY AIN’T NOTHING BUT A HEAAAARTACHE.” they both go OFF and have accidentally broken multiple items because they were jamming out so hard.
  • murdoc is half mexican from his mom’s side. it’s part of the reason he went to mexico after phase 1 and why he can speak spanish. he learned rudimentary spanish from visiting his mom in the sanatorium as a little kid, but since he couldn’t visit her much and she died when he was about 11 or 12 he had to teach himself the rest of the language in his 20s.

more under the cut!

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Danny and Valerie Friendship

So, stay with me here, but, imagine… Danny and Valerie friendship shenanigans after the inevitable heart to heart they would have after Valerie found out about Danny’s secret.  Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Danny/Valerie, too much baggage, and words said, and general angst for me. 

BUT IMAGINE AFTER THE DIASTEROID:

-Danny and Valerie flying around making fun of pedestrians above the clouds while everyone else has no idea. To the everyone else, looking awe inspiring, as they are probably discussing some important ghost issue, but really, they’re discussing how awful Mr. Lancer looked in that cheerleading outfit that one time.

-Danny not knowing why Valerie is so off even after they had an understanding, so he asks Jazz to listen to her. At first Valerie is tight-lipped and stubborn, refusing to admit what’s wrong, but after a smile, reassurance, and story or two from the red head, she jopens up, starts a story, and suddenly she just can’t stop talking. Jazz listening to Valerie as she bursts out her frustrations, her life, her conflicts, her slight crush still on Danny, and just generally how guilty she is for hurting one of her only friends, and how the hell did he ever forgive her for trying to kill him and breaking up with him to kill him.  Jazz nodding and asking questions and reassuring her and basically becoming the emotional outlet she needs for all the crap she’s gone through.

-Once Valerie realizes that Cujo is just an adorable little puppy with his ferociousness only coming out  when he feels threatened/ someone he cares about being threatened (like some halfas she knows), she starts sending Cujo to randomly run after Danny in the middle of class. Like they’re in gym, and Valerie is leaning against the wall watching as Danny is proving that yes, his super reflexes do pass over into dodgeball, please stop making me show off my powers, the girl just loudly whistles and cackles when Cujo pulls Danny away from the game to only the little pup knows where. Everyone else is so confused, as Val laughs and Danny keeps yelling at the little mutt to put him down and gosh dang it Valerie! This is the third time this week- CUJO STOP! 

-Danny being the best wing man for Tucker, and just bragging about how much he knows about tech and her suits, and general ghost hunting equipment, and Valerie knows what he’s doing (because Danny is very obvious) but she can’t help but be intrigued anyway because, does he really know how to make that? Show me! And Danny just has this shit eating grin this entire time. 

 -Sam getting mad at Danny, and the halfa, not really knowing who to go to, asks Valerie, because, hey, she’s a girl. She can understand how girl’s minds work… right? And Valerie is mixed being laughing and face palming over the boy’s obviousness.

-Valerie having issues with not having female friends, so Danny with all his brilliant ideas, suggests she and Sam go out to do something together. Valerie at first, is like, are you crazy?! We’ll kill each other in five minutes. But she starts seeing this as an attempt to prove to the goth that yes, she is over Danny, but also that this is the perfect opportunity to embarrass him as much as possible behind his back. Somehow Val and Sam make it to the mall alive without killing each other, and in a twist of fate, the two end up bonding over smoothies, stories of their boys, and their mutual glee over Paulina’s credit card getting maxed out.

-Valerie becoming the older sister to Dani as Danny becomes the overprotective brother. In the middle of the fight, if Dani gets hurt, there will be hell to may from both of them if their little sister even gets so much as a scratch. The two making a terrifying duo as the poor, unsuspecting ghost gets the crap beaten out of him. Afterwards, Danny acts like the mom of the two and looks for any and all injuries while muttering about I knew this was a bad idea to bring her out here. All the while Val glares at the crowd and area around her threateningly like, come out, and judge us. I dare you. How about another ghost, I’ve been itching to see what how much damage ‘high’ does. And Dani’s there like, guys, I’m okay. It was just a scratch. Stop it, you’re making a scene. But the two are having none of it,  and the clone just sighs but smiles at finally having a big brother and sister that actually cares for her.  

-Valerie after a misunderstanding and hiccup or two with the Fentons, actually starts enjoying them and their craziness and how much they seem to love and care for everyone. Danny, not knowing if she’s just messing with him, or if she’s genuine, and if it’s genuine, he has to wonder in his taste in friends because how, despite how everyone knows how embarrassing his parents are, they are still somehow the cool ones. Tucker, Sam, and Valerie just shaking their heads at the halfa’s confusion because it’s hard to understand how welcoming the Fentons feel in comparison to their own houses until you feel it for yourself. Danny realizing he is entirely screwed because now he’s up against, his girl friend, ex-girl friend/new best female friend, and best friend he’s known since he was five, and how did he think putting them all in a room together was a good idea?

- Danny  not being good at PR. At all. He stutters too much and he gets tired of all the attention way too quickly. Sam doesn’t care about it, and if it were up to her, she would just flip off all the cameras. Tucker for all his “Too Fine”-ness, can not actually talk to the press if his life depended on it. Valerie, being an Ex-A-lister and all around good faker when it comes to attitudes, gives Team Phantom a crash course on what to, and not to do in front of the press, so yes, Danny you are not allowed to turn invisible in the middle of a conference or fall through the floor because their questions make you dead tired. Who’s the people expert around here, huh?

- Valerie becoming the missing piece that Team Phantom didn’t know they needed, all the while not messing with established boundaries/relationships, but creating new ones instead that last a life time. 

DANNY AND VALERIE FRIENDSHIP

On Writing: How to make Whitley happy

Several times now I’ve started to write an “On Writing” post covering this or that trope, only to realize I’ve got less of a how-to and more of a how-to-make-ME-happy.

So, fuck it.  Here’s some twists on common tropes that I would greatly enjoy.

Mean Girl

  • Magnet schools where the mean girl is the best at (insert area of interest here), not the ‘prettiest.’
  • Tech-school Mean Girls with an army of robots.

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Women of Ice and Fire [By Nerissa Naidoo]

One of the many reasons I love the A Song of Ice and Fire series is it doesn’t lack strong female characters. George RR Martin shuns the stereotypical ideas of women in the fantasy genre – a love interest of the burly hero, a fair face to break the trend of overbearing masculinity, or the super sexy girl with a sword that is more tedious to witness than season 4 of The Vampire Diaries. Instead, we have an array of leading ladies who are not only interesting and well-developed, but also quite believable. I’ve compiled a list of the most influential of the girls of Thrones and exactly why I adore them:

Cersei Lannister

I am a lioness. I will not cringe for them.”

Evil Queens litter the literary landscape, but Cersei holds the title of THE Evil Queen. She also holds the titles of “power hungry alcoholic”, “incestuous nutjob” and “conniving bitch”. There are few things more dangerous than a beautiful woman, and one of those things is a beautiful, intelligent woman. But what makes Cersei the most dangerous of them all is that she’s a beautiful and intelligent woman who is all too aware of how threatening she is. Of course, most times this wit is made bridesmaid to her arrogance and paranoia. She fires the man most qualified to command the Kingsguard, allows the common folk to starve, ignores the debts she has to pay to very dangerous men, and has no handle whatsoever on her diabolical son, Joffrey. Politically astute and unapologetically ruthless, Cersei isn’t bothered with the responsibilities that come with her position, but prefers to use her power solely to make her enemies suffer. Her only redeeming quality seems to be the love she bears for her children, which she uses as justification for all her heinous actions.  She has a keen eye for weakness, and has no qualms about using her body to get what she wants. Cersei is despised for qualities often revered in men - another reason she loathes the limitations society imposes on her simply because she has a vagina. She is a clear case of someone who only listens to what they want to hear, and proves that there is such a thing as too much power. What makes Cersei so compelling is that somehow all this makes sense in her head, and the series wouldn’t be the same without our favourite trainwreck.

Margaery Tyrell
“So the girl is as clever as she is pretty.”
If Westeros were high school, Margaery would be that girl hell-bent on making her way up the social ladder with nothing to lose. She knows exactly what she wants and not even a gay husband, two dead husbands, a switching of loyalties, her dearest brother’s life and allegations of sleeping with the guards will stop her. While she shares Cersei’s intense desire for power, she has the love of the locals on her side (partly because she’s nice but mostly because her parents bring them food). Her ambition coupled with her unassuming nature makes her a force to be reckoned with and she can hold her own against the lionhearted Queen herself. Margaery navigates the streets of King’s Landing, a city where everyone grasps a knife behind their back, like a PR genius and for that alone, she must be given our respect.  

   Sansa Stark
My skin has gone from porcelain, to ivory, to steel.” Sansa is the quintessential high-born girl: beautiful, well-groomed and polite. She’s a hopeless romantic, who is constantly dreaming of valiant knights that rescue damsels in distress. It’s no crime, she is a teenager after all, but she lives in a world where those knights are far too busy brothel-hopping to care about damsels who instigate their own trouble. But while Cersei is hated for being as cutthroat as her male counterparts, Sansa is hated for being feminine and gentle in a place that invariably isn’t. WE JUST CAN’T WIN. She started out bratty and a bit of a sell-out but she’s had to grow up and develop her own set of smarts since becoming a hostage of the Lannisters. She declared her father a traitor in order to save his life. She put up with abuse from Joffrey’s guards to save hers. She takes the short end of the stick with a smile, behind a façade of duty, because she knows that the day she cracks is the day she dies. She may not take up a sword as so many others do, but there is great strength and courage in her kindness (and the occasional snide remarks she makes about being pro-Robb). Eat your lemoncakes with pride, little dove.  

   Arya Stark

“Ser Gregor, Dunsen, Raff the Sweetling, Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, Queen Cersei. Valar Morghulis.”
 Antithesis to her older sister, Arya is a gutsy tomboy who aspires to be a knight, and excels at archery and swordfighting where Sansa does at embroidery and singing. She’s goes through a rather shitty time – even by Stark standards – but she is more than willing to get her hands dirty if it means surviving long enough to avenge her loved ones. Arya is always adapting and learning as she travels across continents and seas to places she’s never been with people she’s never met. Her resilience is emphasised by her intelligence, resourcefulness and an inexhaustible well of courage - attributed to her personal motto that fear cuts deeper than swords.  
Catelyn Stark
   “Let him go, or I will cut your wife’s throat.” After watching the series, I bore no great love for Lady Stark. But after reading the books, I got to sympathise with perhaps the only sensible person in Robb Stark’s life. If only the Kid in the North had listened to his mummy, he wouldn’t be sleeping with the fishes with his direwolf’s head sewn onto his body. Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself. Look, Cat’s had it bad. Her second youngest son is crippled, her husband and daughters are carted off to the other end of the country, and she finds out that the people who crippled her second youngest son are the same ones carting her husband and daughters off to the other end of the country. She races after them, leaving her teenage son in charge of one of the largest castles and most untameable lands in the kingdom. Then a whole lot of shit happens involving the beheading of her husband, the kidnapping of one daughter, the escape of another, a lunatic of a sister, a childhood friend who is STILL hung up over her, a war, the breaking of vows, two biological sons supposedly dying at the hands of her foster son, her eldest becoming King and then being betrayed and killed right in front of her. Blow after blow, she remains rational and unflinching in her goal of rescuing what little family she has left. It is cruelly so, that at the very moment she feels a glimmer of hope on the horizon, is when she is crushed most severely. But strike Catelyn Stark, you strike a bloody hard rock and the North remembers.
 

 
Brienne of TarthThe wench is as strong as Gregor Clegane, though not so pretty.”
Brienne is described as a towering, muscular woman who is aesthetically disadvantaged. She is gravely underestimated with a sword because she’s a woman, and mocked when she dons a dress because she lacks the social graces of other high born ladies. More comfortable in chainmail than chiffon, Brienne expects very little from a world that has only ever rejected her. But she is fiercely loyal to the few who win her trust, and isn’t above being a blushing maiden when around the man she loves. Fighting with honour and determined to defend the weak, it is ironic that Brienne is met with disdain from most of the men she encounters, because she remains the only true example of an ideal knight in the series.  

 Daenerys TargaryenI will take what is mine with fire and blood.”
From submissive sister to Queen of Mereen, Dany is the poster child for empowerment. An exiled princess, she’s spent most of her life in hiding, and under the iron fist of a delusional brother manic in his quest to sit on a chair halfway across the world. He sells her into a marriage to the head of a clan of horse-mounted warriors, but rather than merely passed from one master to the next, she finds herself embracing married life and the privileges of power that come with being a Khaleesi. Dany detaches herself from the impotency inherited from her brother and establishes her position as a ruler for the people. She has very little regard for oppressors, having been related to one, and sets aside her similar goal of sitting on that chair halfway across the world in favour of abolishing the main trade in what is aptly named “Slaver’s Bay”. Dany’s flaws are a result of age rather than gender, as she is terribly naïve towards the running of a city, battle strategy and the politics that govern both. She often makes rash decisions that prove to be symptoms rather than cures, and rarely follows the advice of the experienced members of her Queen’s Council. I mean, Dany, you can’t do shit that makes people starve and then use an excuse like “I’m just a young girl”. They are hungry. They will eat you. She does, however, makes sacrifices for her “children” in order to rectify her mistakes, including marrying this creepy rich dude to keep the peace. But while her stubborn sense of entitlement is insufferable at times, her choice to pursue the most sought after throne that once was her (insane) father’s, without acknowledging the Westerosi tradition of male heirs, is pretty kickass. Oh, and she has dragons.  

  MelisandreWe choose light or we choose darkness.”
A mane of copper hair and blood red eyes, Melisandre is seen by many as both a mystery and a monster. But she is essentially a sorceress who takes great pain in making her craft seem effortless, all by the bidding of the Red God/Lord of Light, R’hllor, who she worships fervently. She is steadfast in her faith, publicly dismissing any other gods and men, and confident in her abilities to interpret R’hllor’s wishes. Her loyalties lie with one Stannis Baratheon, who she believes, according to visions she has, is some sort of resurrected hero. She becomes his advisor, and helps his crusade for the throne by vanquishing enemies, including his brother, proud rainbow warrior, Renly, using a shadow assassin that she gave birth to. However, Melisandre does seem to have her priorities in order, as Stannis is the only one who arrives with aid at the now vulnerable Wall that protects the entire realm. She also imparts valuable wisdom to many of the characters, but they are too overwhelmed by the sketchiness of this whole “homophobic R’hllor sent Jesus Stannis” thing, to listen. Do you blame them, though? The night is dark and full of terrors, and three sentences ago I said she gave birth to a shadow assassin.  

 
GRRM does justice to his female characters not by going out of his way to further their cause, but rather by simply writing them for what they are: people. They are cruel and loving, fearful and indomitable, arrogant and unsure, frank and ambiguous, insightful and ignorant, enterprising and passive, temperamental and laid-back, troublesome and agreeable. They are unlike each other, but similar in that none of them encompass what society deems a “proper” woman should be. They share a treasured trait in fiction which exposes this mummer’s farce – they are real women, and they live in a world where all men must die.  

You’re welcome, ladies.