everyone go buy it now

Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

The way I feel about him is like a heartbeat—soft and persistent, underlying everything.

why is NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS.

Tamlin the Tool: A Theory

I could totally see Tamlin being the type of High Lord who randomly endorses products to make extra cash.

~At a Conference in the Spring Court~

Tamlin: So that will conclude our meeting for today.

Everyone: *starts to get out of their seats*

Tamlin: But-! As you walk out I hope you think of how much your feet ache as you do…

Everyone: *Looks supremely puzzled*

Tamlin: But not mine! Because I have the new Nike Trainers! *Puts a foot up wearing the shoe on the table*

Everyone: *stares in silence at Tamlin*

Tamlim: Go buy them. NOW.

Everyone: *scrambles out of the room*

Tamlin: *takes the extra cash he made out of his pocket and counts it for fun*

Lucien: *sighs heavily*

Mafia! Taeyong AU

•ofc he’s the leader because he’s Lee mother fucking Taeyong
•he got the position from his dad who was the old leader
•cue sad childhood story that I’m not gonna go in depth about
•so Mafia leader Taeyong is probably one of the best there is
•looks scary af but is a smol ball of fluff
•like someone protect this boy
•loves his family (which includes the boys v v v much)
•doesn’t like hurting strangers
•doesn’t leave the office very much because he has a lot of paperwork and calls to handle
•sometimes goes outs to make deals because no one can say no to him
•always takes someone with him on these deals because he’s secretly an insecure boy who needs lots of reassurance
•scared that he’ll mess up the deal or makes the group look bad
•so he has a poker face when making deals
•also gets straight to the point to gets what he wants
•what he wants is to get out of there quickly so his nerves start to calm down
•does so much work because he doesn’t want his boys to be stressed and have too much on their shoulders
•is highkey stressed himself most of the time
•boys have to drag him out of the office to do something
•out of the office he is known as either ‘eomma’ or ‘taebreeze’
•does most of the cleaning and makes sure there’s not a spec of dust so his boys don’t get sick or allergies
•sometimes cooks if he had the time to
•even though the boys basically have to feed him because he’s so fucking busy
•takes care of the little ones especially
•basically a sucker for them but is still strict
•now you on the other hand, are Jisung’s older sister
•being the amazing noona you are, you start to grow suspicious when your brother isn’t going to school that much and staying out later
•so one day, while you were walking down the street, you see Jisung and a very good looking man
•but Jisung is supposed to be in school tho
•looks like the man is scolding your bby bro and only you can do that
•immediately thinking that man is a threat
•here comes super noona to the rescue
•bursting into the scene and slapping Taeyong
•maybe slapping him is too much
•anyways, going off on him telling him not to take advantage on little kids and the importance of school
•Jisung is there looking like 'noona, pls, stap it’
•Taeyong quietly listening because as I said before he doesn’t like upsetting people that aren’t involved
•when he finally got tired he just interrupted you with his deep voice
•'um… excuse me but I was telling your brother the same thing here’
•Jisung basically running back to school because you and Taeyong were scaring him
•Run,child, rub!!!!
•cue the awkward silence between the both of you
•Taeyong breaking the silence because he thinks you’re cute
•'do you want some coffee?’
•and that was how your relationship with Lee Taeyong began
•becoming best friends v fast
•like you two just connect
•there’s no denying it
•ask Jisung, he’s the leader of your and Taeyong’s fanclub
•not knowing he’s in the Mafia because he refuses to tell you
•is actually scared that his secret will ruin your friendship
•not risking it
•now to the juicy part
•let’s pretend that you’re a medical student or something
•it’s been like a year and a half since you met Taeyong and you falling deeper and deeper in love every minute
•basically Taeyong got hurt really badly
•let’s say he was jumped by a rival Mafia group when he was going to buy ramen for everyone
•now guess who has a bullet in his shoulder?
•Taeyong being a stubborn little shit that refuses any medical help because he doesn’t want to burden anyone
•being the good brother that Jisung is, he calls you up
•'hey, noona, I know it’s 3am but I really need your help. The love of your life is dying but he’s being stubborn’
•you blushing when Jisung said that Taeyong was 'the love of your life’
•but still running with a medical kit to help because he really is the love of your life
•when you get there you’re just like 'rtf’
•but you don’t ask any questions because you need to save this boy right now
•when you do finish and he’s on a bed and your besides it, checking his vitals
•he’s still unconscious (or so you think) so you start ranting about how he could have died and you’ve never confess your love yet
•he hears and suddenly pulls you in the bed with him
•'I like, maybe even love, you too’
•tells you everything too because you threaten to break up your non existent relationship if he doesn’t
•Jisung cheering behind the doors

Should I make a second part? Like one that’s like, 'dating Mafia!Taeyong’? Meh we’ll see

Second part: http://sebooty-lyfe.tumblr.com/post/149352096049/dating-mafiataeyong
1!!!!!!

Jul 25, 2007

HEY!
 
 I just got the call that my album is the NUMBER ONE country album this  week!!!!! It’s been since October, and this is the first week it’s ever gone  number one!! I’m SO excited. You guys are AMAZING. I’m so excited about this,  thank you so much for continuing to support me. THANK YOU FOR THE NUMBER ONE!  Now go tell everyone you know to buy it so we can stay there. haha. But  seriously, thank you so much. You know I love you SO much. This is a dream  come true.
 
 lovelovelove
 -T-
 
 PS: We’re shooting the video for “Our Song” in the next few weeks. Can’t WAIT  for you to see it!

I often talk about myself as someone who’s extra and over-dramatic and I am but compared to some people I am incredibly level-headed, pragmatic and chill

anonymous asked:

do you have any online shopping site recommendations?

idk what kind of online shopping you’re doing anon but I’m gonna assume it’s clothes

first: THE DON’TS

  • Don’t buy anything from storenvy. The popular Asian fashion stores like Moooh! and UZIP are taobao resellers, and you can buy all their items on AliExpress for 2/3rds the price. All you have to do is reverse image search the picture, type in “site:aliexpress.com” into google as needed, and you’re golden
  • Forever 21 has a good return policy, but their clothing is made for giraffes and tends to have… unwanted surprises (hi-low, tricolor, distressed, the list goes on…) 
  • Modcloth is a conglomerate of ugly vintage clothing from a vast variety of labels, ranging from cheap to semi-designer stuff– not that you’d know it, because it’s all chalked up at forty dongers moreover Modcloth, ever the pinnacle of honest business practices, often refuses to list the designer for the item of clothing so you can’t compare prices! This is why you should try to find the clothing item using descriptors on Google, first– you can’t reverse-Google image search in this case, because they use their own models

ok now the actual recommendations

  • Here’s advice on ordering from AliExpress, which can be pretty cheaply-made and shady but you can still get great pieces. Many people swear by Taobao, but I can’t read Chinese and you need a Taobao agent to ship outside of Asia, which is stressful. AliExpress delivers right to ur door (ok, the nearest post office)
  • Yesstyle is gud and ships international 👍🌍
  • Ebay and Amazon are great for tracking down a cute item you found on, say, Polyvore or ASOS that’s no longer being sold by the manufacturer. I got my Dear Creatures coat for $100 with tax/shipping off Amazon, two years after its initial release (it originally was going for maybe $250)
  • Now, I’ve seen SheIn (previously SheInside) get a lot of flak for being-cheaply-made-in-China, but in doing research for this ask, I actually found that SheIn can have crazy good sales, so that a sweater going for $80 on its original website can be going for $18 on sale. However– I also saw a lot of AliExpress resells. I’ve bought a couple of slippery patterned polyester blouses from SheIn that were gorgeous (and imo that’s their strong point) but people I know have bought dresses and gotten shitty results
  • I’m 5′1″ but I have thighs, so literally all my jeans are from the petites section of TopShop. I literally buy from nowhere else. They cling to my every erotic curve. I never buy from the physical stores anymore, only online, because EVERY SINGLE TIME I try and buy at the actual store the stupid sales clerk goes “oh honey, you can’t possibly be a 28W28L! you’re so tiny!” and forces me to squeeze my flabby gut into pants made for a middle-schooler in a badly-lit changing room while The Weeknd muzak whinges thru the overhead speakers listen I’m not bitter or anything I just like to have room for my stomach I own TEN PAIRS OF YOUR PANTS sorry I got sidetracked
  • @pinstripebowties swears by Missha (American site, Canadian) for makeup and skincare, and we should all trust her more than my clearskin privileged ass. Shipping is a flat rate of $10.50 on the Canadian website, but the American one is MAD CHEAP considering the quality. My Missha order is coming in 2 weeks presumably so I’ll follow up on this

    (M… MAKEUP REVIEW?!?!)
  • Eyeko has FREE SHIPPING TO CANADA RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT A DRILL EVERYONE GO BUY THAT ONE PROFESSIONAL EYEBROW GEL CARA DELEVVIVIGIGNENGNE USES

Gather ‘round, y'all, it’s story time.

Okay so my kitchen sink doesn’t have a garbage disposal and I don’t like to throw away food in the trash or else it’ll stink, so I just flush it down the toilet. Tonight I was washing dishes and there was a container of chicken my husband didn’t finish and then left in his car- yuck- so I took it to the bathroom and dumped it, and flushed, but it didn’t occur to me until the water was rising dangerously that I should have cut the chicken into smaller, more easily flushable pieces instead of just tossing in a fist-sized chunk. But the water was rising and, woe is me, I don’t own a plunger. EVERYONE GO BUY A PLUNGER RIGHT NOW because if you don’t have one you’ll have to do what I did, which is shove my hand into the toilet bowl to grab the chicken. Only I couldn’t grab the chicken. It was already lodged in the pipe and I couldn’t get ahold of it enough to pull it out, so my only option was to push it further in and hopefully force it far enough through so it would flush. So there I was with my arm submerged in my toilet bowl, shoving a hunk of old chicken down and up and over, and honestly the only good part of this experience is that I miraculously didn’t get my hand stuck. Eventually the chicken passed, I washed my arm for five minutes, I’m going to buy a plunger tomorrow, and next time I will cut up the food I flush.

Social Media (Yoongi)

And now it is time for my highkey spirit animal, the first half of the Daegu line, an actual sweetheart with the cutest smile like his eyes do the things and he’s got the gummy smile and it’s just so fucking cute, Min Yoongi aka Suga aka Agust D

  • This is going to build off of youtuber!Yoongi (here) there is also the youtuber proposal post which is right here
  • For everyone that hasn’t read the original post, he has a music channel
  • He posts covers and original songs and very rarely does a Q&A or some sort of talking video where he isn’t just rapping or playing an instrument
  • He occasionally (like literally only a couple times a year) does streams where he just plays the piano and takes song requests and chats with the viewers
  • But those are the moments they treasure bc they get to know the man behind the lyrics, they get hints on what inspired said lyrics, they get stories of his relationship with you, of his life, of his goals
  • Plus super rarely they may actually get a glimpse of you, he tries to keep you as private as he can bc he just seems like a private person in general with stuff like relationships when it comes to such a huge crowd of people
  • V v rarely will he actually show your face, it’s almost always your back and his hand over your face or anything like that to keep things private and it’s not bc he’s ashamed of the relationship or anything of that sort, he’s actually really really proud of the relationship and you but he just doesn’t want the entirety of the internet knowing every lil detail of your relationship
  • But he does post a few pictures of you two here and there on his Instagram
  • His insta is mainly selfies, sneak peeks at lyrics/sons and pictures of the kitty but there are a few pictures with you
  • He gets creative about it most of the time, like it’ll be a picture of his new shoes but then your shoe will also be in frame or it’ll be a picture of your shadows
  • There are only a handful of pictures with your actual face in them and one of them is the day you two first got the kitty and it’s adorable for so many reasons, I mean there’s a bby kitten that can fit in Yoongi’s hand but also how happy you two look is pre ci ous
  • Like despite not being able to physically see you two together super often, everyone just knows how in love he is bc they can see the soft lil look in his eyes when he has a lyric that reminds him of you and they can see the photo frame with a picture of you and kitty cuddling and they hear all of the songs he writes for you and it’s just v v clear
  • So to be able to have confirmation of that in photo form is like !!!
  • There’s also this other picture of right after you two got engaged and it doesn’t have either of your faces in it technically bc it’s a picture of your hand in his but he does have his mouth in frame bc he’s kissing your hand, right next to the new ring
  • It’s got the simple caption of “guess I have to go buy a suit now”
  • Everyone just about loses their shit when they see it bc wow their smol bub is getting married but also he’s being cuTE
  • He goes on Twitter pretty often
  • He jokes around on there a lot and uploads lil snippets of music he’s working on and he just enjoys being able to see everyone’s reactions and actually talk to them one on one
  • “Min Yoongi how dare you release a song rn I’m in class”
  • “Idk man seemed like a good time to me”
  • He’d have such a sarcastic relationship with his viewers like he calls them his lil shits and they’re forever bickering about shit and it’s just so light hearted and fun and cute
  • He probably doesn’t even have a snapchat but he makes frequent appearances on yours
  • “And here we have a wild Min Yoongi in his natural habitat, not at movie night even though I told him like ten minutes ago, it was all set up”
  • “And here we have a wild Min Yoongi trying to take a nap”
  • “It’s 7 pm you can’t take a nap rn”
  • “Join me and watch how easily I do the impossible and take a nap rn”
  • Movie night just turns into cuddle night and lowkey nap night
I. FREAKING. BROKE.

I just finished playing Deemo v2.0, the updated version just out today…..

I CRIED SO HARD LIKE WHAT KIND KIND OF ENDING IS THAT RAYARK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HEART

OKAY I’M NOT GONNA SPOIL BUT EVERYONE PLEASE PLAY THIS GAME IT IS SO WORTH IT. THE MUSIC AND ART IS AWESOME NO COMPLAINTS AND THE GAMEPLAY IS SMOOTH AND JUST AMAZING PLEASE PLAY DEEMO

GET READY FOR MY DEEMO SPAM I DONT CARE THAT I’M USUALLY AN ANIME OTOME GAME TSUKIUTA TRANSLATION WHATEVER BLOG I AM GOING TO SPAM ABOUT THIS GAME AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

Okay you know what i’m gonna spoil stuff so sorry to those mobile users as I’m gonna use a read more…

Keep reading

2

My manager called and was like, ’“You got a nomination.” And I was like, “You’re making fun of me.” I didn’t know why he would call to prank me at this hour. I was like, “I won’t believe it until I see it in writing.” And then Taylor [Schilling] called me and told me congratulations, and for some reason I believed her. Then I called everyone back and said, “Now I’m buying it.” She wasn’t going to toy with me at that level. - Natasha Lyonne on hearing the news of her Emmy Nomination for her role as Nicky Nichols in Orange is the New Black.

Books were a safe place, a world apart from my own. My favorites were ‘The Selection’ series by a genius named Kiera Cass. They were available at fine retailers wherever books were sold, and everyone should go buy them now. I was Team Aspen.
—  Kiera Cass, The Siren (probably)
2

Apparently Wu Yi Fan’s songs have been available on iTunes for a while

If you havent purchased the songs alr, go buy them to support Wu Yi Fan

There Is A Place https://itunes.apple.com/my/album/there-is-a-place/id947329203?i=947329212

Time Boils The Rain https://itunes.apple.com/my/album/time-boils-the-rain/id947331027?i=947331050