everyday is a challenge

Lately, I had little time for drawing and sketching. But in order to integrate drawing and sketching more into my everyday life, I thought of a little Doodle Challenge: Doodle time with Karoline!

Let’s all doodle together! So here is my first Doodle Challenge for the month of April, inspired by the wonderful spring.

Use the hashtag #doodletimewithkaroline on Tumblr, Instagram or Twitter. Wherever you want to use it. :)

Understanding the species Gentleman


You hear it everywhere these days: the term “gent” or “gentleman” has become ubiquitous in men’s magazines, blogs, and conversations. Videos welcome “gentlemen” and everybody seems to use the word for a wide range of men.
Some say that anything other than the traditional definition of a gentleman is a disappointment. Other claim that a gentleman must have staff and would never cook for himself.
Well I couldn’t disagree more – the definition of a gentleman has changed and for the better. Since the definition of a gentleman is so fundamental to what Gentleman’s Essentials stands for, I thought it was time to explain the way we understand what a gentleman is. For this excursion, I’d like to take you back…

The Origin
Hundreds of years ago, a gentleman was a man of high social position and wealth. Even dictionaries today point to this definition, as well as several others:
1. A chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
2. A polite or formal way of referring to a man.
3. A man of noble birth attached to a royal household
4. A man of good social position, especially one of wealth and leisure
5. A courteous title for a male fellow member of the House of Commons or the House of Representatives

So what does it really mean? There is much more to being a gentleman than mere courtesy; traditional acts of chivalry can come off as condescending, and “honor” is a highly relative concept.
These days, the title “gentleman” is no longer relevant as an indication of one’s refinement and character, as it was once assumed to be for men of wealth and title who didn’t have to work for a living.
In our opinion, the term is far more egalitarian, and these days, to say you are a gentleman means you have to earn it. Wealth and power are no longer enough, and in fact, they simply aren’t a relevant part of the modern definition. 

Money and position can’t buy you class or respect.

The Definition of a Modern Gentleman
The term is far more complicated, and we think it’s important to shed some light on why and how we use it, and why the definition of the modern gentleman matters.
We firmly believe any man can be a gentleman if he wants to be, but it’s not a small undertaking. It’s a journey, something that a man continually strives to be, rather than a destination. A gentleman is/ has:

1 A Gentleman Has Good Manners: Here, we agree with the dictionary. A gentleman is courteous, polite, and respectful. He says please and thank you, waits his turn in line, and treats others as they wish to be treated. He is an equitable conversation partner.

2 A Gentleman Has High Standards. High standards push people to do the best they can, and gentlemen set them for themselves. A gentleman expects a high standard of quality, value, and functionality from the things he buys to the things he does. He expects as much of himself as he does of other people.

3 A Gentleman is Well Dressed: This one shouldn’t be a surprise. A well-dressed man is appropriately attired based on the season, the occasion, and his own style. Dressing well isn’t a matter of money for a gentleman, but rather of careful curation of clothing and accessories based on his means, the occasion, and his tastes. His dress demonstrates that he recognizes the power of clothes the impression they make, and the role they play in society. Clothes are used to convey a gentleman’s respect for his host, his office, or for the host of an event, but not to shock, evoke jealousy, or show off. Dressing well is a point of pride for a gentleman because it demonstrates his personality and taste.

4 A Gentleman is Imperfect. This may be the most important characteristic on the list. The term “gentleman” isn’t meant to be an unattainable ideal; it takes into account basic human nature, in which we all make mistakes, choices, and judgments every day. The difference lies in that a gentleman does not believe himself to be perfect, but instead takes ownership and responsibility for the things he can control: his actions, knowledge, and approach to the world.

5 A Gentleman is Open Minded: A gentleman does not believe that his opinions and knowledge are complete and unquestionable. He strives to learn, is open to new ideas, accepts constructive criticism, and welcomes failure as a path to growth and self-awareness. A gentleman does not argue purely for the pleasure of being right but focuses on is able to put himself in other people’s shoes for the purposes of understanding an alternate perspective from his own.
he person who cut you off on the highway may have received bad news; a friend may not respond to your call because they are behind at work – a gentleman tries not to jump to negative conclusions about other people.

6 A Gentleman is Interesting and Informed: These days it is easy to get lost in the cycle of sleep-work-netflix-repeat that deprives people of anything interesting to say. An interesting man can successfully carry a conversation about a number of subjects, is interested in the world around him and how it works, and actively seeks to grow his knowledge for his own character building and enjoyment. Hobbies and personal interests reveal his passions and his engagement with activities that are meaningful to him.

7 A Gentleman’s Actions Match His Words. Quite simply, a gentleman makes promises that he intends to keep.

8 A Gentleman Treats People with Respect: When we say people, we mean everyone – women, colleagues, superiors, waitstaff and customer service people. This reflects a gentleman’s belief that all people are created equal; he does not claim to have more or fewer rights than those around him. He is compassionate with those less fortunate than himself. He doesn’t believe that the world is a zero-sum game, nor does he believe that putting someone else down will lift him up.

9 A Gentleman Recognizes the Difference Between Arrogance and Confidence. If an arrogant man who believes himself to be of superior importance relies on his opinion of himself relative to others. A gentleman believes in himself and his abilities independently of other people. An arrogant man must always win to feel validated while a gentleman self-validates from within. 

10 A Gentleman Wields Power Purposefully. Though there are many potential sources for the statement “with great power comes great responsibility,” there is an inherent truth in it for a gentleman. If he is in a position of power, he combines all of the above traits to utilize that power purposefully and not selfishly. Not for revenge, not for his own personal gain, and not in a way that tramples the rights of others.

So why does this all matter? It matters because being a gentleman sets a high bar for men, us included, to actively work towards every day. Rather than being a destination, it’s an aspiration that comes from the lifetime pursuit of personal betterment, self-awareness, and motivation.
The highest achievement is to be recognized as a gentleman by those around you, since at it’s core it is an honor conferred only by other people. We use the term gentleman frequently, and we think it should mean something. It’s not just a way to address other men; it’s a statement about who we are and who we want to be.

The Challenges of Being a Gentleman in Everyday Life
While all of this sounds admirable, living up to those ideals day in and day out can become quite challenging at times. When a man is in a bad mood, stressed or tired, he may say or do things that are out of character. In those situations it is important to apologize to others and if it is sincere people will accept it. I know what I am talking about because I certainly have my fair share of ungentlemanly failures.

Tarot Questions to Read For

I love reading tarot, but I find “general” readings to be frustrating and a bit boring. Usually when I pull out my tarot cards, it is because I am excited to read. My querents usually have no idea what questions to ask, and have never even had a reading before. When I do general readings it comes out like, “well, this card says you have, err… money problems?” and it sounds like a terrible cold reading.

So here are some fun questions to read for instead of a general reading! I use them for one card spreads usually but you can expand it to be however you like. These are also fun party questions. Give one card to each person who wants to be read for instead of shuffling for each individual person.

The Questions:

  • What is your secret greatest fear?
  • What is your soul’s purpose in life?
  • What is your greatest quality you don’t recognize yet?
  • What is your untapped talent?
  • What does your spirit want right now?
  • What are you taking too seriously in life?
  • What does your life need right now?
  • What should you be focusing on?
  • What is your relationship like with your spirit guides?
  • What would make you the happiest right now?
  • What do you need to let go?
  • What is ready to manifest in your life?
  • What is something you need to hear?
  • What is an important truth in your life?
  • What is the next step you need to achieve your current goal? (note: ask them to specify which goal ahead of time)
  • What can you do to improve as a person?
  • What do your spirit guides want to tell you right now?
  • What are you avoiding?
  • What are you ready to let go of?
  • What do you need to let go of?
  • What is the next big opportunity that will come to you?
  • What do you need in your everyday life?
  • What lesson are you learning right now?
  • What phase or cycle are you about to enter?
  • What needs to be dealt with in your life?
  • What journey are you on right now?
  • What was your most recent past life like?
  • What is a big challenge you will need to face soon?
  • What is advice you could use in your everyday life?
  • What is the biggest challenge you are currently facing?
  • What is your subconscious trying to tell you?
  • What is your higher self trying to tell you?

Bonus Spooky Halloween Questions

  • What kind of spirits are following you around right now?
  • How will you die?
  • What is your inner monster like?
  • What demons are you facing?
Drunken Mistakes

Summary: Dean gets mad at reader one night when he has had too much to drink

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 6,044 (this one ran away from me a little)

Warnings: mentions of cheating, physical fight, implication of smut? or soft smut (idk what to call it)

A/N: Okay so this is my entry for ‘Michelle’s 2K follower challange’. Congrats @luci-in-trenchcoats​ on 2k and I hope you like this. Quote I got “Your problem is that nobody hates you more than you do”. I hope you guys like this, first time writing in this ‘x reader’ style so feedback would be much loved

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Ok but consider time

We all know that Lance is homesick and we were shown just how far away they were from Earth at one point. But something that hasn’t been considered is that time is passing differently for them than it is on Earth. A good representation of how this is is in Interstellar, when the main character’s youngest sends him a video, something that she refused to before and only decided to do because it was her birthday. The birthday marking her the same age as her father. Another example of this is if you take a clock and you do one revolution around earth the time on the clock is different than the time on the clocks on Earth that would have previously been running at the same time. I don’t know the exact science so that might not be exact.

So like… I have an idea for an au where Lance’s family is devastated when they find out, and Lance’s 13 year old genderfluid sibling is like ‘I want to go to the Garrison’ and Lance’s parents and everyone else are like 'No, we just lost Lance, why would you want to do that’ and the sibling is like 'Lance’s dream was to make it to space and if he couldn’t get there in his life time then I’m going to do this for him’ so they take up engineering and physics to try to get into the Garrison. They try to get in at age 14 and don’t, but try again at 15 and do. They get an opportunity to be a pilot because someone quit. They have to deal with Iverson and he’s like 'You’re just like your brother, useless, a replacement because someone else isn’t here’ and they realise that this would have fuelled Lance’s anxiety and he never told any of them. They make it their personal mission to be problematic, but also the best in their class. Like, insulting Iverson everyday, becoming 50000000% more petty and salty, and even at one point challenging him to a rap battle. On a separate occasion they somehow manage to barge into a staff meeting to shout that at Iverson that he verbally abused and degraded their brother’s mental health and worsened his anxiety, before presenting a petition signed by the whole student body and some parents to get Iverson fired. Iverson is fired. After a few years the Kerberos mission is being rebooted. At age 19 they are chosen to pilot. They tell their family that they’re finally getting to see space. The team includes Mrs Holt, who had stepped up to engineering again, and another woman. They get to Kerberos, and a few weeks into their mission the Galra resistance group who rescued Matt arrive, to check that the area is still free of the Galran Empire. Mrs Holt is so happy, but also, her son looks the same way he did when she last saw him 8 years ago, though more buff, scarred and tired. The sibling convinces them to let them come with them, and when Matt explains that Mr Holt is still out there Mrs Holt is like 'There is no way that you’re leaving me behind, the communications officer is like 'The government adopted me when I was 12, and they passed me off to the Garrison immediately, two years before they were legally allowed to so I don’t have much back there, I’ll come’. The Galra resistance group meets with the Blade of Marmora to form an alliance. They then meet with Voltron. The meeting is first with Allura, then the paladins of Voltron are introduced, minus Shiro because he’s missing. There are the obvious reunions.

Matt: What the f-
Mrs Holt: Language, Matt.
Matt: Mum, I’m fighting in a war and I was a slave for a year, let me swear.
Pidge: Who are you, you’re not the short beanpole I know.
Matt: As I was saying, MUM, what the heck’s a Pidge.
Pidge: I’m a Pidge. And Mum, you look a lot older than I remember.
Matt: KaTIE THAT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO ANYONE.

Lance enters with a mug of coffee or something.

Hunk: Ah, I see you’re holding true to being the 20 minutes late with Starbucks meme.
Lance: Yes, but I woke up lat this morning and I have to uphold my beauty routine so I’m not sore-why is Pidge standing next to a hot Pidge what is happening am I okay.

Lance is barrelled over in a bear hug by his sibling.

Lance: *is confused*
Keith *is alarmed, the subject of his pining isn’t allowed to die*
Everyone else: *also alarmed*
Sibling: How dare you, not tell me or anyone else about Iverson being a dick to you! You were my role model! I came out as genderfluid to you before anyone else! Before I came out to Mama! You watched my debates and you went to everyone on of Freya’s hockey games, and you taught Maria how to use makeup when she was transitioning, and yet you couldn’t tell anyone of us, or even Mum or Mama about that!
Lance: Who-w-How do you know all that who are you?
Sibling: Well, you dense traffic light after that I thought it would have been obvious. I’m *name*
Lance: Um, no, *name* is 13.
Pidge: Lance…I can’t believe I forgot…We studied this…Time passes differently in space…
Lance: So you’re telling me that they’re, that you’re, my sibling? You’re, like, my age, if you aren’t older! How old even are you?
Sibling: I’m 19.
Lance: What the f-
Matt: Language.
Lance: ????
Matt: If I’m not allowed to swear you don’t get you.
Sibling: You know what this means, right? Unless you were some sort of crazy party animal at the Garrison I got to drink before you.
Hunk: 19 is still underage though.
Sibling: In America maybe. But we live in Australia. So. Whenever I went home I got to drink. Because I was also at the Garrison from a program/branch thing in Australia I was bound by Australian rules so I was legally considered an adult and allowed to pilot the second Kerberos mission.
Matt: But more importantly. You think I’m hot? *bats lashes at Lance*
Sibling: Right, how could we forget about that beautiful gem.
Lance: How could you do this? Betrayed by my favourite little-what is is sibling? Sister?
Sibling: Sibling.
Lance: How could I be betrayed by my favourite little sibling?
Sibling: Well first of all, I’m only your favourite until Freya or Maria is in the room and suddenly you’re not allowed to have favourites, and second, you may have been born before me but I’ve lived longer than you so I’m the older sibling now.
Lance: All around me are familiar faces, worn out places-
Allura: We are currently searching for our black paladin, Shiro, which is why we wanted meet with you, aside from solidifying an alliance.
Matt: Wait, you mean Shiro like Takashi Shirogane?
Keith: Yeah. He’s missing and we can’t form Voltron without him.
Matt: You must be Takashi’s emotionally constipated adopted child-I mean adoptive brother. But more importantly, he couldn’t even be here to meet me! My boyfriend’s such a *stares directly at Mrs Holt* goshdarned flake.
Pidge: *Snorts* And what a hecking shame that is! If you being here could have stopped him from going and cheesing disappearing then we wouldn’t be in this dang situation.
Holt siblings: *snorts devolving into cackles*

So that’s my au. There’s more. There’s so much more and I might draw some of it. I’m also considering a name/names for the sibling.

Or, alternatively the time passing differently in space could just be for langst.

A log a day keeps anxiety away 😂 am I right? Started the 100 days of bullet journal challenge, but I won’t post something everyday, more like twice a week :3
For those who asked if I had a studygram: yas I do now, cause one of you convinced me somehow 😂 my names allcutified_desi 🤗
Happy journaling everyone ❤

10 Day Self Sim Cas Challenge

  1. Everyday wear
  2. Formal wear
  3. Athletic wear
  4. You at another age (so if you are young adult make yourself younger or older)
  5. An outfit you would never wear in real life
  6. Dream job 
  7. Date night outfit
  8. Dress up/costume
  9. Another time period
  10. Dressed in your favourite colours 

Enjoy and maybe tag me in your posts or tag it as #selfsimcaschallenge 

Use whatever game you prefer :)

FACT: Without Hermione, Draco would have been evil.

Just hear me out. I think that without Hermione’s existence, Draco wouldn’t have the internal struggle between right and wrong. Here’s why.

Imagine growing up the way Draco did. You’re told that people who aren’t like you are stupid, less powerful, and beneath you.

In a way, it reminds me of religion. Not saying that all or even most religion is bigoted, but the strength in belief within some families is similar.

Even from the young age of 11, Draco displayed traits one would obtain from living a very sheltered life. Meeting Harry in the robe shop, it became very apparent. He introduced himself by his last name, because that’s what he was taught was important. He asked Harry his blood status immediately, because it played a huge part in the beliefs that be was raised with.

He was taught that he’s the best of the best.

Only when goes to school, this muggleborn is thrown in his face. And she’s smart. So smart, that no matter how hard he tries, his grades are never good enough to top hers. Not only that, but she’s powerful. Obviously so, even.

He even comes to notice that she isn’t nearly as dirty as he was lead to believe. In fact, she comes down the stairs at the Yule ball and she’s so stunningly gorgeous that not one insult can come to his mind.


So we’re his parents right? They wouldn’t lie to him, would they?

Only they have, and the living proof is staring him directly in the face.

And so he gets angry. He calls her names, and puts her down. Because he’s not stupid– it’s so blatantly obvious that the people he admired the most in the world were wrong in so many instances, and he’s bitter. His world is broken, and so he wants everyone else to be too.

Knowing this, he returns home each summer just to hear his father complain about how a “mudblood trumped him in grades” and how “the half-blood beat him in quiddich” because his family believes it’s not possible.

Yet little do they know how hard he worked and how much he studied and practiced, he still always came up second.

So he was bitter, and angry– yes. Not condoning his actions, but explaining them.

Even though he tried to convince himself that it was a fluke, that Hermione was just a freak of nature– he knew better.

And although he called her the names he did over his own bitterness and angst, he didn’t really think she should die. But then, come sixth year, everything turns real, and serious– really fast. He’s stuck in a corner with no choice.

I fully believe that Hermione challenged him. She was in his face, everyday, proving him wrong. She was a walking contradiction, and I fully believe that had he not been exposed to her, he wouldn’t have even tried to second guess his family’s values and beliefs.

anonymous asked:

i'm so sick of these people thinking no corset/stays = feminism! or whatever bizarre misinformed notion... like... sorry its a necessary article to complete a historic outfit. and on being able to ride horses in the costumes, these costume designers really did so little research on historic clothing that they didn't know women wore corsets to horse ride for centuries *eyerolls* and yeah the iconic yellow dress really looks like a modern prom gown and an ugly one at that :/

Yeah, agreed. And especially corsets pre-1800. They were not designed to narrow the waist per se. They were designed to push the breasts upwards and flair out over the hips. Which is effect made the waist narrower, but this was not a goal in itself. If anything, they could restrict the arms more than the waist.

A main idea was that the corset supported the torso, not necessarily re-shaping it. If exaggerated - for grand occations - they could be a challenge. But for everyday wear they were just a part of the attire, giving a welcome support to a torso which may have carried several children and which may be exposed to hard physical work.

There is negative things to be said about the corset, but much of this stems from the early 20th century, where the corsets frankly were at its worst. They pushed the bust out in front and the butt out in the back, while keeping the stomach straight. It gave the torso a most challenging S shape. Here’s 18th century stays and paniers VS early 20th century stays:

It was also in the late 19th and early 20th century tight-lacing became a fetish, where the laced-in waist was to be as narrow as possible. But this short-lived corset phenomenon shouldn’t be translated into corsets 1600-1800 whose shape was conical and function fundamentally different.

And that’s also why the talk of corset or non-corset in “Beauty and the Beast” rubs me the wrong way. They sauce every corset myth ever together in a strange soup, and the conclusion is of course that they don’t like this strange soup, so they’re not gonna deal with it. Sigh.

anonymous asked:

26 Sterek

26. “According to US Weekly, we’re married.” Also on ao3!

“According to US Weekly, we’re married.”

Stiles punctuated his statement by slapping down a copy of the offending tabloid magazine on Derek’s coffee table, none too gently. The table wobbled a bit from the amount of force he used, a steaming cup of coffee nearly spilling all over the table.

Beaming up at him from the glossy front page of the magazine was a blown up picture of him and Derek on the set between shoots. It was slightly blurred around the edges thanks to being zoomed in on so very much, proving just how much of an invasion of privacy it was.

He couldn’t know for sure who had taken the photo, the article not disclosing the photographer, but Stiles had a sneaking suspicion of who it was nonetheless. He would have bet anything it was that creepy little snake Matt Daehler, the disgusting paparazzo who had made a name for himself by stalking celebrities and their families.

For the past few weeks, he had caught glimpses of someone slinking around behind the scenes, the hairs on the back of his neck rising whenever he did. Just a few days ago his suspicions that it was Daehler had been confirmed when he witnessed him lurking around one of the sets.

And now a picture of him and Derek was being circulated nationwide, various tabloids and newspapers hosting articles speculating about it. The picture was even being discussed on talk and morning shows that apparently had nothing else to talk to.

He folded his arms over his chest and raised an unamused, expectant brow at Derek who merely blinked up at him. When Derek failed to say anything, Stiles gestured emphatically down at the magazine.

In the picture, Derek was wearing one of his outfits for the movie: a dark navy blue waxed cotton jacket over a black sweater, dark jeans, black boots, black sunglasses…and a wedding ring. It was crucial to the role he was playing, the movie focusing on a single father raising his daughter while struggling with depression and PTSD.

It was sure to be a classic, full of emotional scenes highlighting the everyday challenges of life with mental illness, centering on the main character, Tyler, learning how to juggle his own issues along with his daughter’s. Rather than glorify or romanticize both Tyler’s mental illnesses and his self-care, the film explored the nitty gritty truth of depression and PTSD and suicidal thoughts.

However, while Derek’s wedding ring was necessary for the movie, the matching ring on Stiles’ hand was not.

Keep reading

sharkie-heart  asked:

Hi there! I'm not sure if you've answered something similar to this, but I'm wanting to write an autistic character. She's very severe, and has trouble communicating (slurred speech), her personality is also very spacey and oblivious. Any tips, or things to learn about writing an autistic character when I myself am not autistic? Thank you! Take your time!

Thanks for your question, love!  I apologize for the wait, but I’m happy to finally get to answer this :)

So first, I’ve got a a note on what you’ve described about your character.  For one thing, it’s preferred among most autistic people that there be no “sliding scale” of severity – because there are so many different symptoms and combinations of symptoms, and “severity” seems to only relate to symptoms that bother allistic people most.  Here’s a masterpost on how to handle this topic.

So now that this is out of the way, here are my official tips for writing autistic characters!

How to Write Autistic Characters

So it took me some time to prepare for this question, primarily because I saw so little information out there for writing about autism!  And that’s understandable, since it’s such a complex topic – after all, no two autistic people have exactly the same symptoms and coping mechanisms.  Plus, since autism is basically a top-to-bottom different living experience, it’s difficult for allistics to identify with.

But I’m going to discuss this in a few different parts: symptoms, coping mechanisms, positive qualities, and stereotypes to avoid.  I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible without sparing any information :)

Symptoms of Autism

There are many different symptoms of autism, although the mental/emotional aspects of the disorder is most often overlooked by the general public.  It’s important to recognize that every autistic person’s experience and symptoms are different.  Some people have few social problems but they can’t handle the sensory experience of a restaurant; some have few physical problems, but they struggle with OCD and can’t maintain a conversation.  The only difference between symptoms is that some are talked about and some are not, which makes them seem “uncommon.”

Physical Symptoms

  • Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) – SPD is defined as the struggle to process different sensory input – visual, auditory, tactile, taste, olfactory, proprioception, vestibular and interoception.  SPD causes hyper- or hyposentitivities to certain sensory stimuli (e.g. certain clothing textures, food textures, scents, and lighting – especially fluorescent lighting.  Ugh.)
  • Dyspraxia – A result of SPD, dyspraxia makes it difficult to control one’s physical movement.  It creates problems with planning and executing actions, as well as speaking or judging spacial proximity.
  • Sleep Disorder – Many autistic people struggle with sleeping for various reasons – hypersensitivity seems to be the greatest cause.  Offensive sheet fabric, noises, or lighting can cause sleep problems, as well as racing thoughts or anxiety.
  • Lack of Energy (or Spoons) – Often caused by sleep problems or SPD, a lack of energy intensifies normal symptoms.  Understand that when an autistic person engages in a stressful or energy-consuming experience (prolonged socialization, insomnia, bad sensory environments, anxiety, etc.)
  • Nonverbal Communication – This type of communication is used by nearly one-third of autistic people, either because they aren’t able to use language in a meaningful way, because it requires an excessive amount of mental/social energy, or because they suffer from a learning disability.  Some people go temporarily nonverbal in times of stress to conserve energy.  Most nonverbal autistic people learn other means of communication, like writing, sign language, or scripting/echolalia.

Mental Symptoms

  • Executive Dysfunction – This dysfunction makes it difficult for some autistic people to start, finish, and quit tasks; to make decisions and switch activities; and/or create, organize, and follow through with plans.  This should not be confused with procrastination, as it is not a decision – it’s a result of low energy.
  • Alexithymia – Alexithymia can cause autistic people to struggle to identify their own emotions, or separate physical feelings from emotional feelings.  It’s closely tied with lowered interoception, which is defined as the struggle (or inability) to define and assess physical sensations like hunger, thirst, tension, etc.
  • Meltdowns – Meltdowns are an emotional response to overstimulation and stress, causing some autistic people to “lose control” of visceral emotional responses (e.g. shaking, kicking, crying, shouting, etc.).  There is another type of meltdown called a shutdown, which causes an opposite reaction: dissociation and lack of external response.  It’s a flight reaction rather than a fight reaction.
  • Increased Likelihood for Other Mental Disorders – Since the world isn’t exactly built for autistic people, there are plenty of everyday challenges and stressors (as well as difficulty maintaining supportive relationships) that can cause other comorbid disorders, such as OCD, anxiety, and depression.
  • Learning Disability and Late Childhood Development – While autism itself is not classified as a learning disability, it’s often comorbid with different types of learning disabilities.  Autism can also cause late development of speech and motor skills, among other things.

Social Symptoms

  • Hyperempathy or Low Empathy – On two ends of the spectrum, autistic people often struggle with the “right balance” of empathy – being either unable to identify, express, and empathize with emotions, or unable to shut off or control their own emotions as well as to separate themselves from other people’s emotions.
  • Impulsive Behavior – Because of a (sometimes) weak understanding of social rules and/or imbalanced empathy, an autistic person may struggle to stop and think before they say or do something impulsively.  This can cause interpersonal issues, as impulsive speech may offend or hurt others, while impulsive actions may feel too “out-of-control” or “hard to manage” for loved ones.
  • Difficulty Interpreting or Expressing Social Cues – Autistic people often struggle to understand facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, sarcasm, flirting, or figures of speech – and because of this, they can often come off as “oblivious” or “simple” (although this is inaccurate and contributes to a lot of misrepresentation).  It can also be difficult to express social cues, which is why some autistic people can appear to be awkward, clingy, aloof, or uninterested in friendship/romance.
  • Social Anxiety – Social situations can be especially stressful for autistic people, due to the amount of thinking it requires – to interpret cues, to “pass” as allistic, to express themselves clearly, to curb impulses, to handle sensory challenges – and this leads to social anxiety.
  • Social Isolation – As a result of social anxiety, some autistic people experience isolation, as they may feel more comfortable in their own environment, alone.  This is an unfortunate result of ableist culture, and may be worsened by executive dysfunction which can make it difficult to reach out to others.
  • Struggle with Change – Whether in routine, environment, appearance, or the natural changes of life (such as graduation, moving, marriage, death in the family, new job, etc.), change can cause great stress for some autistic people.  This is why many autistic people enjoy comfort objects, old music, childhood memories/interests, or specific, consistent colors, styles, or textures for their belongings.

Coping Mechanisms for Autistic People

There are many methods of coping with the negative aspects of autism, but there are a few that are most popular:

  • Behavioral & Occupational Therapy – Therapy (often combined with medication) is a continuous process of reducing symptoms, coping with stressors, and learning how to function in an allistic world.  (The most common method of behavioral therapy, ABA, has reports of being abusive, so be mindful of this if you’re researching/writing about therapy!)
  • Stimming – “Stimming” or self-stimulating is a physical coping mechanism for sensory overload and similar stress.  Stimming can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the action involved (some unhealthy stims include skin-peeling or hitting one’s head), and it can be conscious or subconscious.  It’s often seen as “weird” or “bad” by allistics (especially parents), so some autistic people train themselves out of the habit from a young age.
  • Special Interests – Special interests are half a coping mechanism and half a natural part of autistic people’s lifestyles.  It’s defined as a devoted interest to one or two subjects or activities – special interests can reduce stress, help focus, and provide motivation against executive dysfunction. 

Positive Qualities of Autism

Now that we’ve gotten all the bad stuff out of the way, I’m gonna list a few common positive qualities of autistic people.  Remember that these do not apply to all autistic people, but may be a natural consequence of autistic traits:

  • Determination
  • Dedication
  • Divergence (from trends and social expectations)
  • Passion
  • Honesty
  • Uncritical nature
  • Attention to detail
  • Good memory
  • Logical reasoning
  • Active imagination
  • Integrity
  • Understanding of what it’s like to be judged or left out
  • Skilled with children

Autistic people, of course, have many other great qualities, and may struggle with many of the above.  Creating a character with all these qualities will yield you a stereotype, so be mindful!


Stereotypes of Autistic People

Finally, there are a few popular stereotypes of autistic characters, which should be avoided at all costs:

  • Autistic People are Psychic – We get this courtesy of shows like Touch, where the (usually nonverbal) autistic child suddenly starts speaking because they see ghosts or are somehow connected to “another world”.  Autistic people joke about themselves being “aliens”… but allistic people really shouldn’t.
  • Autistic People Need Caretakers – While some autistic people do struggle to manage their lives alone, it’s a pretty harmful stereotype in media considering the lack of positive representation autistic people get.  Plenty of autistic people (whether you consider them high- or low-functioning) lead successful lives on their own, and they deserve representation.
  • Autistic People are Burdens – The most stereotypical portrayal of autistic people is that they are the weight pulling on their parents’ ankles – that they destroy parents’ sex lives and make teachers crazy and their friends need a “night off” from their autistic friends.
  • Autistic People are Childlike – While many autistic people enjoy activities geared toward children, and while meltdowns can resemble an allistic child’s temper tantrum, autistic people are not childish or unintelligent.  Autistic adults are adults, no matter their struggles.
  • Autistic People Look Different – Autistic people don’t all look a certain way from birth – this is a myth that has been debunked time and time again, the same way that the Vaccines Cause Autism myth has been debunked, time and time again.  Don’t perpetuate these myths in your writing.
  • Autistic People are Like Robots – Autistic people may not express their feelings well, but they have feelings.  Being nonverbal, being dissociative, being aloof or awkward – none of these things make an autistic person unfeeling or non-human.  Be mindful to show the emotional side of your autistic character, even if they struggle to express it to others.

Final Note: You may notice that none of these links are affiliated with Autism Speaks, which is for a purpose.  Autism Speaks has a long history of promoting eugenics, abusing autistic children and adolescents, silencing the voice of actual autistics, and promoting a “find a cure” narrative that’s harmful to the minds of both autistic people and potential parents of autistic children.  When doing research, I’d advise you to refrain from using their resources.


Anyway, this was hugely long but I wanted to really go into it, since I didn’t see many other extensive guides on writing about autism.  Note that while I, myself, am autistic, this is only the perspective of one autistic person.  Either way, I hope this helps you with your character!  If you have any further questions, my inbox is open and waiting :)

Good luck!


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

#transformationtuesday here on the left is me suffering form multiple disorders from restricting myself, over exercising, binging, purging, depression, to mental health that had just gone to shit. All I wanted was to be skinny and no matter how skinny I was It still wasn’t enough. I was wrapped up with this idea that I was worthless, ugly, and a disappointment if I couldn’t live up to society’s expectations. I constantly compared myself to others just wishing I could look and be like them. I would physically harm myself because I hated myself so much that I felt like I needed to be punished. On the right is me now! I eat what I want when I want it. I practice self love everyday and finally feel good and confident in my own skin. I go to the gym and lift heavy weights because that’s what I’m passionate about, but if I’m tried or just don’t feel up to going I simply don’t go and I don’t get stressed out about it like I use to. I try my very best not to compare myself to others, but with social media it can be very challenging at times. I battle my demons everyday and recovery is mentally exhausting and so not easy, but it’s worth it to me because it makes me stronger. My past, my scars, my bruises, and my imperfections make me who I am today and these things are what make me feel beautiful🐣

As for this holy month is in two days, I wish you a blessed Ramadan. 🌻
May this Ramadan change you for the better.
May this holy month of Quran be your rest in your restless lives. ❤️
May this month purify your soul.
May this Ramadan recharge you and give you energy to continue your life.
May this month of Mercy make you merciful, kind and beautiful inside out.
It’s never too late for new beginnings.✨
Challenge yourself to do something good everyday, something remarkable for yourself and by yourself. 💪🏼
I wish you all a very blessed Ramadan 🙌🏼
كل عام و أنتم بخير، و رمضان كريم 🌙

Summary: Sansa is kind of YouTube famous and decides to vlog her family holiday for her viewers but her first video has unexpected results. 


The thing is Sansa didn’t mean to get into YouTube. She had aspirations of being a theatre actress, doing Shakespeare on the West End or something equally as prestigious, but one drunken night at uni, Sansa decides the world is in dire need of a video on how to do your makeup drunk. It’s not her proudest moment and she even uploaded it without any editing whatsoever, but somehow, by the time she woke up the next morning, she already had over 100,000 views. It’s utterly bizarre and – well, it’s kind of cool. Jeyne thinks it’s good exposure because it’s not like she can’t just quit YouTube if she wants, so she uploads a couple more videos. One of her doing the everyday beauty routine challenge and another drunk one where Jeyne and her drink wine and talk about fuckboys. By the end of the month, she’s kind of YouTube famous and life ceased to make sense anymore.

Her family at least thinks it’s hilarious. Robb constantly asks to appear in her videos and her views skyrocket each time because according to her fans, her brother is ‘so hot holy shit let him impregnate me’, which is really, really disgusting. Occasionally Bran will join her if he’s visiting her at uni and they’ll just drink and review movies or shows together. The only two people who adamantly refuse to have anything to do with her channel are Arya and Rickon. Rickon’s still in that awkward teenage phase where hanging out with his older sister is uncool and Arya just scoffs at YouTube in general. But when the trend of vlogging starts taking off, Sansa decides to give it a try. She’s going on holiday with her family and a few of their friends, so it’s the perfect opportunity to test it out.

– although not everyone thinks so.

“Get that fucking camera out of my face, Sansa,” Arya spits out as they stand in the queue waiting to check in their luggage. Sansa sticks out her tongue and her sister rolls her eyes in exasperation. They’ve always had an antagonistic relationship, as sisters do, but it’s gotten worse with YouTube. Sansa doesn’t really know why but she doesn’t want to dwell on it either. Arya can be a cow so it’s probably just that.

Sansa turns the camera to Robb, who’s wearing a greying hoodie, sunglasses perched on his nose and an empty Starbucks cup in one hand. “Hungover, Robb?”

He looks up blearily, notices the camera and flashes a weak smile. “Like you wouldn’t believe.” Looking directly at the camera, he adds, “listen, kids, if your best friend breaks up with his girlfriend and you think it’s a good idea to go cheer him up with a bottle of whiskey eight hours before flying, don’t.”

Arya, Bran and Rickon snicker, but Sansa is a little frozen with this new piece of knowledge. “Wait…” But she doesn’t get a chance to ask because Jeyne comes bounding forward with her hot pink suitcase rolling behind her.

“Morning, Starklings!” she greets brightly – to much groaning from her siblings. She plants a kiss on Sansa’s cheek and squishes Robb’s face between her hands. “Hi, sunshine. Saw your Instagram story last night. Looks like you and Jon had a great time.”

“Story? What story?” Robb questions, rubbing his cheeks, before his eyes widen. “Noooo, I didn’t. Did I? Shit.”

“You did, you so very did,” Jeyne chirps, as she turns to the camera with a wave. “Our resident heartthrob here took our resident grump to a strip club.”

“What!” shouts all four Stark siblings, Sansa included.

Arya punches Robb in the shoulder. “Why would you do that to Jon? Does he look like that would cheer him up? He’s not you or Theon.”

Her brother rubs his shoulder, glaring at Arya. “Drinking games weren’t working! And he didn’t want to talk about it so…” He shrugs sheepishly. “We were out of options.”

“That’s so like you, Robb,” Sansa says on a sigh. “Maybe you should’ve just left him alone.”

She doesn’t usually voice her opinions on any matter involving Jon – mostly because she doesn’t think she has a leg to stand on. They’re not friends, not in the way he is with Robb or Arya or even Bran and Rickon. Actually, she seems to be the only person he doesn’t get along with. But she knows him. He’s Jon. He’s the guy who sat with her on her fifteenth birthday when she walked in on Joffrey making out with Margaery. He’s the guy that drove her home when she got drunk for the first time at seventeen and was too terrified to call Robb or her parents. He’s her grumpy knight in shining armour and she’s been in love with him for six years, so she knows him, probably better than Robb does, but of course no one knows that.

“Speak of the devil!” Arya exclaims as she walks quickly towards Jon, throwing her arms around his waist in a tight hug. He chuckles and wraps his arms around her. Sansa watches them whispering to one another, Arya rolling her eyes and then Jon ruffling her hair with fondness. It twists something inside of her that makes her shut the camera off and look away.

“Are you okay?” Jeyne says under her breath so only Sansa can hear.

She nods mutely, not wanting to say anything to betray how painful it’s always been to see Jon interact with her siblings, how effortless their friendships are and the stark contrast it is to how he is with her. She doesn’t need him to love her back, not in the way she loves him, but she can’t even have his friendship and that stings.

“Morning,” Jon greets as he reaches them with Arya tucked under his arm. “So I guess you’ve all heard.” They nod and there’s a round of commiserations. “Okay, good. Now that that’s done with, let’s not bring it up again.” His voice is teasing but there’s a sharpness to it that means Jon’s serious, so they all laugh and carry on, changing the topic to whether their flight will be delayed.

Theon’s the last to arrive, and thankfully by that point, the queue’s moved up enough that they only have to wait a further five minutes to check in. Her parents arrive back from their morning stroll around the airport just in time and soon they’re all heading to board the plane. There’s a scuffle as they near the gate as everyone’s looking at their tickets to see who they’re sitting with.

“Oh c’mon! Someone else sit next to him!”

“Awe, Jeyne, I’m not that bad.”

“Piss off, Theon. I will stab you!”

“Jeyne, honey, it’s only a couple hours.”

“Yes, Mrs Stark.”

Sansa muffles her laugh behind her bag as she searches for her passport which she shoved down to the bottom as they went through security. Once she has it in her grasps, she pulls out the ticket and reads out, “26C.”

“Oh,” says a voice from behind her and Sansa quickly turns around. Jon’s looking at his ticket then back up at her, a faint smile on his lips. “26B. I guess we’re sitting together.”

“I guess so,” is all she can manage, as her whole body stiffens at the prospect of spending nearly three hours on a plane beside Jon. A single Jon. It’s just all too much for Sansa to deal with this early in the morning. His hair is as unruly as ever, curling just over his forehead, and he’s wearing a thin black jumper that strain against his broad shoulders and a pair of dark-washed jeans. Too much. It’s too much.

Sansa grabs for Jeyne and tugs her forward, turning away from Jon. “I’ll sit with Theon.”

Her best friend’s face widens with joy and then suddenly pinches together as she frowns at Sansa. “Why would you –” She glances behind them where Jon is still standing, now rolling his eyes at whatever Robb is saying. “Oh no, absolutely not. You are not running away from him again.”

“Again?” Sansa cries out indignantly, catching the curious gaze of her father. “What are you talking about?” she hisses a little quieter.

“Um, remember when Robb and Jon came out with us that night in freshers?” Jeyne raises a brow and Sansa deflates because she does remember. “He was practically ready to propose to you.”

“He was drunk.”

“He couldn’t stop staring at you or smiling at you,” Jeyne says. “And then he asks you to go outside with him and you panic and run away.”

“I went to the bathroom!” Sansa whispers harshly, but she did panic. She had been so sure she would never be more than Robb’s little sister to Jon that when he had taken her hand and asked if she wanted to get some fresh air, she panicked.

“And what happened next, Sans?” Jeyne asks, voice a little gentler now.

Her heart breaks all over again as she leans her forehead against her friend’s shoulder, a resigned sigh escaping her lips. “He met Ygritte.”

“That’s right, he did, and guess what? They broke up and you’re not bloody running again,” Jeyne says as she pushes Sansa back upright. “You’re going to sit there and be charming and he’s going to fall in love with you all over again.”

“You’re delusional,” Sansa murmurs instead.

“No, I’m brilliant. Now, c’mon.”

The first hour actually passes by in near to complete silence. Sansa doesn’t know if she’s disappointed or relieved; she’s existing in the realm between both emotions and it’s making it really hard for her to sit still or sleep. Jon seems to be sleeping just fine, his face relaxed as he leans as far back as the chair will go. But as the second hour approaches, the man beside Jon, a terrifyingly large and bulky man with multiple tattoos winding up his arms and peeking from his cargo shorts, slumps his head onto Jon’s shoulder with a thump. He startles awake, wide-eyed and confused, and Sansa can’t help laughing at his expression and the situation he’s now in.

He groans quietly. “Of course this would happen to me.”

“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen, Jon,” she says, nudging his shoulder with hers. “If only I was as lucky to have a handsome man resting on me.”

Jon quirks an eyebrow at her. “Then let’s trade seats.”

“But how could you wake him!” she whispers back, smiling brightly at him and forgetting for a moment that she’s still madly, desperately, stupidly in love with this man.

“You’re enjoying this too much,” he says but his lips twitch and it’s adorable how hard he’s trying not to smile.

“I’m enjoying it just the right amount,” Sansa says before she’s reaching down for her bag and grabbing her camera, turning it on and recording. “Now I’m enjoying it too much.”

Jon eyes the camera and then glares at it. “Sansa,” he says warningly. “If this goes on the internet, I’m going to –”

“What?” she questions with an innocent smile. Sansa turns the camera onto herself. “He wouldn’t dare threaten this face, would he?” She gives a little pout, and in the background, she sees Jon cracking a fond smile as he reaches forward to tug at her loose plait.

“I’ll get you back for this.”

She focuses the camera back on him again. “Hmmm, no, I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no, Jon, you big puppy dog. I can outplay you,” she says still sweetly innocent. She’s enjoying this weird banter they have going on far more than she should because Jon just broke up with his girlfriend and this is only going to end up with her getting her heart broken in the end. Only she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care so much she might as well repress whatever self-preserving brain cells she has left.

“Outplay me? I didn’t realise this was a game,” Jon says, amused.

“Life’s a game, Jon Snow,” she quips back, to which he actually laughs so loud the man leaning on him jumps awake. He stares at Jon and then at Sansa’s camera and yawns before leaning against the window and falling asleep once again.

Both Jon and Sansa stifle their laughter but it’s no use so Sansa does something wildly inappropriate and presses her face into Jon’s shoulder, muffling her giggles into his jumper. He doesn’t seem to mind or maybe he’s too busy trying not to laugh himself.

For a few seconds, Sansa just allows herself the comfort his warmth provides her before extricating herself once she realises her camera’s still recording. She turns it to face her and makes a face. “We’re going to hell.”

Jon nods in the background. “First class tickets.”

“At least I have you as company,” she says, smiling back at him, and he returns her smile.

When she passes out later at the hotel trying to edit the footage, the last thing Sansa expects is for it to be uploaded by the time she wakes up and for her to receive way more notifications than should be normal.

Aromanticbabex: Okay but am I the only one who would still climb hungover Robb like a tree?

1534 likes

Sansa blanches. How is that the most liked comment? Ew!

Lyla Patel: Sansa, you’re so pretty! I’m so glad you’re vlogging! Your videos always makes my days better!

1045 likes

A smile so wide blossoms on her face and she quickly replies, ‘Thank you, Lyla. I appreciate you and all my fans so much! Xxx’

But then the comments sort of devolve from there and she really has no how idea how to handle any of it.

Al Nottellingu: WHO IS THIS JON AND WHY HASN’T HE BEEN IN HER VIDEOS BEFORE?!!!!!!!

893 likes

           Lili Cho: I CAN FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION FROM HERE!!!

            Roseand Tenforever: I ship it! I ship it so hard!!

            Tom Hart: I AM COINING JONSA AND NONE OF YOU CAN TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT!

Siobhan Hughes: Ummmmmm why the fuck would anyone break up with a man who looks like THAT! Sansa, get in there, girl!

679 likes

Sansa slams her laptop shut and throws a pillow at Jeyne’s head. Her friend groans and rolls away from her. She throws a second pillow at her.

“WHAT!”

“Did you edit my video and upload it for me?” Sansa demands angrily. She slides out of bed to go and sit on top of Jeyne’s prone figure.

The girl huffs and tries to kick her legs out to dislodge Sansa. “I thought I was being a good friend! You looked really tired!”

“But now the entire internet thinks me and Jon have something going on!”

Jeyne opens one eye to narrow it at Sansa. “Well, don’t you? You two were awfully cosy on that plane.”

Jeyne,” she groans, pinching her friend on the hip. “He just broke up with his girlfriend! What if Ygritte sees it?”

“Then her bloody loss!” Jeyne suddenly thrashes wildly and Sansa ends up falling backwards onto the floor. A bruise is definitely going to form on her ass now. “Stop worrying about some girl you don’t even know and go after what you want, Sans.” She leans over the side of the bed to look down at her. “Look, I know Joffrey and Harry really screwed you over in the whole relationship department. And then after Ramsay, you’re kind of hesitant but we’ve known Jon since forever. He’s good and decent.”

Sansa rolls her eyes, even though her whole body’s recoiled at the mention of Ramsay but she’s trying desperately not to dwell on those months in her life. “I know that. Of course I know that. I’m the one in love with him, aren’t I?”

It’s hard to concentrate on having a good holiday when her mind is whirling with what Jeyne’s said. She doesn’t know why she doesn’t just go for Jon aside from the courtesy of giving him a wide berth while he heals from his breakup, but that’s not even what’s making her hesitant. It’s much more convoluted than that. It’s being cheated on in both of her previous relationships. It’s being stalked by a classmate for three months until he’s finally arrested for something completely unrelated – since reporting a stalker who hasn’t done anything means nothing to the police. It’s all of those things that make Sansa start to wonder maybe she shouldn’t be with anyone ever because everything she touches gets tainted one way or another and the last thing she’d want is to taint someone as pure as Jon. He’s the last good man on this planet that’s not related to her. And that’s just the thing, isn’t it? He’s really, really good. He’s honourable and honest and so loyal. He’d never cheat on his girlfriend. When he loves someone, she’s his whole world. Sansa saw the way he used to look at Ygritte, and although it had killed her to see him look at someone that way that wasn’t her, she was happy he’d found someone who made him that happy.

God, she hates love. She hates everything about it.

“Alright, sourpus, what’s got your knickers in a twist?” Arya asks, slumping down into the beach chair beside her. She’s in a simple black bikini with a ball cap turned the wrong way around on her head. She has a bottle of some obscure Spanish beer in one hand.

Sansa shields her eyes from the sun to look at her sister. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re glaring at the ocean like it personally offended you,” Arya points out with a long drag from her beer. “Honestly, you’re in bloody Spain. What have you got to be so angry about?”

“I’m not angry, I’m just… thinking,” she says lamely as she watches Jeyne tackle Theon into the ocean while Robb looks on with an amused and somewhat impressed expression.

Uhuh, well you should think less,” Arya says. “Because you’re on holiday. Thinking is for losers. C’mon, Sans, have some fun.”

Sansa sighs. “What do you care if I’m miserable or not?”

Her sister snorts and rolls her eyes. “I care. Hey, I do. Just because I think you’re a spoiled princess most of the time doesn’t mean I don’t care if you’re happy or not. You’re just annoying.”

“I don’t know if I should be comforted or insulted,” Sansa chuckles as she swipes the beer from Arya’s hand to take a sip. As soon as the liquid hits the back of her throat, she makes a face. “I forgot I hated beer.”

Her sister snatches the bottle back. “Good. More for me.” They fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both of them too busy watching their family and friends get into an all out war with each other. “Is this about Jon?”

Sansa’s head snaps to Arya so quickly she probably has whiplash now. “What?”

“He has no idea you fancy him, you know?” she says nonchalantly as if Sansa’s whole world hasn’t just been turned upside down. “Jon’s a bit of an idiot like that. Actually, both of you are idiots like that.”

What?

“I mean god, he fancied you for so long it was honestly super gross,” she continues. “When he started dating Ygritte, we were all like ‘what the fuck’ but also kind of glad he was moving on.”

“What do you mean ‘we’ and what are you talking about!” Sansa is about to hit her sister out of sheer frustration.

Arya finally turns to look at Sansa and she’s wearing a long-suffering expression. “We as in the whole bloody family. Okay maybe except for Rickon. But everyone else kind of guessed it.” Her sister shrugs. “We didn’t think you were interested.”

“But I –”

“You’ve always been the type of person to keep your cards close to your chest,” Arya rattles on, cutting her off. “It was hard for any of us to tell.”

“So what changed?”

“Ygritte.” Her sister sighs and takes another pull from her beer. “When he started bringing her around, it was like – I don’t know. You just looked so broken.”

Sansa bites down hard on her lower lip but the memories come flooding back anyways.

The first time she saw Ygritte and Jon together was at her childhood home during Easter holidays. He’d brought her back with him from uni and it was just so obvious how smitten he was with her. Seeing him like that, so in love with someone else, had ripped out every wall she’d ever built around herself. It was like her mind had just given up trying to protect itself, like it didn’t care anymore what the rest of her did; it just wanted to succumb to its own self-pity and heartache. For days, Sansa had lived on autopilot. She smiled and made small talk but nothing could penetrate through the haze she was living in. Eventually, Jeyne had to come kidnap her and drive them back to uni early before Sansa completely fell apart.

The months that followed were the most agonising of her life. It feels melodramatic now to think it but Sansa couldn’t describe it in any other way. She knew even then how stupid it was to feel such a loss so acutely when Jon had never been hers to lose in the first place, but the petulant, childish part of her mind still screamed out that he was hers. He was her grump in shining armour and no one else’s. It was pathetic and she felt pathetic for thinking it.

“I hated her so much,” Sansa admits after a long silence. “I know that’s awful. I didn’t even know her but I just did. She was everything I wasn’t. Strong, smart, witty – it was like this realisation that I could try all my life to be like Ygritte but no one would ever look at me the way Jon looked at her.” She looks at her feet buried in the sand and says quietly, “because none of them would ever be him.”

Arya reaches out to grip Sansa’s hand. “You don’t just fancy him, do you?” She shakes her head. “You love him?” She nods. “Awe shit, Sans, then tell him.”

“I can’t. It’s not – he just broke up with Ygritte. I’d be an asshole to dump all this on him now.”

“You’re an asshole for not telling him in the first place,” Arya says but she’s smiling softly at her. “I’m no Jon interpreter but there’s a good fucking chance he loved you too.”

That night Sansa can’t bear to be around her family as they mill around the hotel bar chatting and drinking. She has too much to think about so at the first opportunity – which is just when Robb and Theon decide to do a duet at the karaoke machine – she slips out onto the beach with the goal of just walking aimlessly for as long as she needs to clear her mind. As always, Sansa has her camera and she begins to record the ocean as it laps up onto the sand. It’s close to a full moon and the silver light reflects off of the murky surface of the water. It’s beautiful and romantic, and so of course, she feels lonely for the first time in a long time. Sansa’s normally okay being single. After the debacle with Harry and the incident with Ramsay, the thought of any man being near her made her queasy, but now all she wants is for someone to wrap her up in their arms and just hold her. It’s a silly thought, probably born out of all those Disney movies she used to watch as a kid, but it’s there anyways, niggling at the back of her mind as she walks down the beach.

The air is humid and makes her hair stick to the back of her neck but there’s a cool breeze coming from the ocean that eases the humidity. She’s nearing the edge of the hotel’s property when she hears someone call out her name. Sansa turns and squints against the darkness.

“You shouldn’t be walking out here alone,” he says, jogging up to her. “It’s not safe.”

“Jon,” she breathes out, her whole body instantly relaxing at the sight of him. “I was just… clearing my head.”

He nods, grey eyes watching her carefully, before his cheeks flush. “Your viewers seem to like me.”

“You watched it?” Sansa asks, a little incredulous. She turns the camera off and puts it back into her bag.

“I always watch your videos, Sans.” He sounds so casual but the pink flush spreading across his cheeks makes her think this is anything other than casual. It’s unfairly adorable.

“I didn’t… know that,” she says slowly, unsure of what else to say now. “I can take it down if you don’t want anyone to see. Jeyne edited it so I didn’t really get a final say before she uploaded the video.”

Jon shakes his head. “It’s okay. It was funny.”

“Yeah,” Sansa says with a cheeky smile. “You and that man looked really good together on camera.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his dark hair. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Never,” she agrees, smiling even brighter.

“Figures,” he mumbles, chuckling softly. “You know… we looked good together too.”

“What?” Sansa’s heart all but stops. She’s not really sure what to say or what he’s implying.

Jon takes a couple steps closer to her till they’re only a foot apart. “I wish I knew,” he murmurs softly. “Maybe I wouldn’t have wasted everyone’s time pretending I still didn’t care.”

“Jon, what are you talking about?”

“Do you want to know why Ygritte and I broke up?” he asks instead, which really annoys her, and if she isn’t already so close to coming completely undone she would kick him for being so cryptic.

“It started a couple months ago,” Jon continues when she doesn’t answer. He’s looking at her warily and it’s making her heart beat faster and faster. “Or maybe earlier, I don’t know. But when I found out what was happening to you with that Ramsay guy, I was just – it was all I could think about. Robb and I would spend hours researching what legal action you could take. We’d take turns driving past your flat and making sure you were safe. I was so worried out of my mind that I guess I just neglected Ygritte. And when she tried to bring it up, I snapped at her. I was furious that she couldn’t understand how important this was, how it was you.”

Sansa doesn’t really know anymore if she’s breathing. She wonders if she might’ve just wandered into the ocean and died because this is too surreal. This is Jon telling her she means as much to him as he means to her.

“Once Ramsay was arrested, I promised her I’d get better but it was like – for over a year, I was so sure I was in love with Ygritte. She was great in every way, but…” Jon pauses to glance towards the ocean. “The thought that someone could hurt you and take you away from me suddenly made me realise that I never did move on. And I think after awhile Ygritte figured that out too.”

He looks back at her then and takes her hand in his. “I don’t deserve you but I just need to know if there’s even a chance you feel the same way or if I completely misread the signs in that video and made a total prick of myself. If I did, I promise I’ll never bring this up again and we can go back to –”

Sansa cuts him off by pressing her lips against his. He freezes at first but then his hands go immediately around her and she’s wrapping her own arms around his neck, carding her fingers through his hair. It’s everything she ever wanted and so much more because it’s not just a kiss, it’s a confirmation that Jon really is hers and has always been hers and will forever be hers.

“God, I love you so much,” she admits quietly when they pull apart. “But you really are an idiot.”

“I know,” he chuckles. “And I’m sorry it took me this long to get here.”

“You’re here now,” she tells him, dropping a chaste kiss to his lips just because she can.

“I am… and for the record, I fucking love you too.”

++++

Aromanticbabex: I can’t decide if I want to climb Robb or Jon like a tree. Maybe both together? Anyone else?

2019 likes

           Alison Lowe: I would let them do ungodly things to me

           Superwholock: You guys are gross (but if I had to choose, I’d choose Robb!)

           R0cket Racoon: Uhhhh, are you serious? It’s Jon all the way!

           Sansa Stark: Can you guys please stop trying to climb my brother and my boyfriend? (Also, Jon all the way indeed ;)) xxx

Wonder Starks: I think I peed myself laughing watching Robb try to give Jon ‘The Talk’!!!

1938 likes

           Wonder Starks: Also, how cute is Jon surprising Sansa with a holiday! I wish someone would fucking whisk me away from these exams! Where’s my grump in shining armour!

           Dasha Santos: Seriously, where’s my fucking grump!!!1!@£@!$£!!!

Tom Hart: JONSA IS REAL!!!!!! MY OTP ARE ON HOLIDAY TOGETHER!! I BETTER BE INVITED TO YOUR FUTURE WEDDING, SANSA! I TOTALLY COINED YOUR SHIP NAME!!

1903 likes

           Dani Johnson: I’m not crying you’re crying!!! T_T

           2Slow Veryfurious: This is the best Christmas present ever!!

           Arya Stark: You guys need to get a fucking grip.

           Jeyne Poole: Don’t be rude, Arya. This has been in the making for like seven years!! Do you know how tired I was of hearing her pine away for him?

           Robb Stark: Ugh, do YOU GUYS know how tiring it was for ME to watch my best friend stare longingly at my baby sister? That’s way worse!

           Arya Stark: That’s because you think Sansa and I are like 12

           Robb Stark: But you are…

           Robb Stark: Arya?

           Jeyne Poole: I think she left, idiot.

           Robb Stark: Oi, don’t call me an idiot or I won’t take you out on that date!

           Jeyne Poole: I NEVER EVEN SAID YES!!

           Robb Stark: The lady doth protest too much ;)

           Robb Stark: Jeyne?

           Robb Stark: Oh goddamnit.

           Tom Hart: OH MY GOD! REYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!