everybody was drunk on this dumb show and it was great

Dinner Party

Summary: After Bucky returns home from a mission all you want to do is stay in bed (naked) all day with him. But you two have to go to a friend’s birthday to make things fun he proposes a little game.

Paring: Bucky x Reader.

Words: 2575

Warnings:  There is a lot in fuffly in this, but also SMUT and loats of teasing.

This is a one-shot

Thank you to @drinkfantasy, for being my beta you are the best.

Originally posted by sebstanslaugh

You look at yourself in the mirror, felling happy about your appearance. You are wearing one of your favorites dresses, it is navy blue with a modest cleavage in the front and another masive one in the back.

You look cute for your friend’s birthday, your make up it’s done in a very simple away, just some mascara and lip gloss. You turn around and see Bucky who is lying on your bed almost sleeping. You sit by his side and he hides his face on your lap. You start playing with his hair, making him moan at your gentle actions.

“Are you sure you want to come along? You can stay here and sleep a little. I won’t hold against you if you don’t come with me.” You know that he is tired, Bucky came back home around 4 a.m. from a two weeks mission and he only slept a few hours.

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Overwatch Heroes at the Family Barbecue

Genji: Just kind of chilling beneath a shady tree with Zenyatta. Ocassionally glances at Hanzo, who refuses to make eye contact with him. Is wearing swim-trunks. No one knows why.

McCree: Reeks of beer and smoke. Being overly-friendly and very loud. No one really minds. Keeps trying to give the younger heroes “life advice”. At least he hasn’t thrown up yet. No one knows how he managed to get so smashed off of, like, 4 beers. Truth is, he was drunk when he got there. Snuck D.va a sip of his beer when Mercy and 76 weren’t looking. She hated it. He laughed.

Pharah: Wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt, even though it’s, like, 90 degrees Fahrenheit(32 C). Doesn’t get why everyone else is complaining about the heat. Chatting with 76 and Mercy near the grill. Enjoying herself more than she’s letting on.

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Soulmates - (1/?)

Summary: You asked Jeff, a senior you barely knew, for a ride home while he was going on the beer run.

Warnings: Swearing. Angst. It’s kind of sad. Also it’s a little different from the show. It will have a continuation. Don’t give up on it just yet, it will be a nice story.


Jessica’s party was terrible. There was no other word for it. You went there with your best friend, who got drunk and left with some jock, completely forgetting she was your ride home. You were sitting alone on the swing outside, watching stupid teens making out, getting wasted and playing boring games. You couldn’t ask your parents to pick you up, since they were on a date night and you didn’t want to ruin it, so you just waited for someone to go home and give you a ride.

It took almost an hour, but suddenly you spotted a guy getting in his car.

“Hey!” you called. He didn’t seem to listen. You looked at his face, trying to remember his name. He was clearly a member of the baseball team, considering the blue cap on his head. Brown hair, blue eyes… you did remember him. He was a senior. But his name escaped you completely.

He was leaving and you were missing your chance to go home. It was something with a J. James? Jack? Jake?

“Jeff!” You called again, proud of yourself for finally remembering. He looked up to you. “Hi. Hmm… I know we don’t know each other, but I really need a ride home. Is that okay?”

He smiled, kindly.

“Of course, ma'am. Jump in my carriage”

“Thank you” you said, and sat on the passenger seat. He got comfortable on the driver seat and started the car.

“Where do you live?” he asked.

“307 Ave Harrison”

Jeff narrowed his eyes, trying to remember how to get there.

“It’s near Pizza Hut” you tried to help. Something seemed to click on his brain and he smiled again.

“Oh, I know where it is. Do you mind if I take the shortcut near the woods?”

You gasped. It sounded like something a psycho would say. Do you mind if I take you to a shortcut near the woods, where no one will hear your screams while I kill you?

“Well…” you started, a little worried. Jeff widened his eyes.

“I now realize I sounded like a murderer” he laughed uncomfortably. “I mean you no harm, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I’m not heading home, I’m on a beer run, and everyone at the party will be really pissed if I don’t get back quickly”

“Oh” you said, still a little unsure. “Okay, you can take the shortcut”

You told yourself he wouldn’t hurt you. Everybody adored him at school. Even you, who barely knew him, heard a few times about his kindness and gentleness. That’s not the description that bad guys (such as Bryce Walker) got. You tried to relax, but the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong just wouldn’t leave you.

“Are you a senior too?” He asked, trying to break the ice.

“Junior” you answered with a shy smile.

“I see. Do you know Clay and Hannah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I never really talked to them, but we take some classes together” you explained.

“Clay is my tutor” Jeff mentioned, and then seemed really embarrassed. “I-I mean, I’m failing on history and economics but that’s it. I’m not a role model when it comes to school but I’m not dumb, I swear”

You giggled, forgetting all about the bad feeling.

“Calm down. I won’t judge you. I’m failing chemistry and physics” you confessed. “I’m more of an arts person”

“Really? I always took you as a math genius or something”

“Always? You just met me!” you laughed again.

“That’s not true, (Y/N). I’ve seen you around”

“You know my name!” you were surprised. “Well, anyway, I’m not a genius of any kind”

“What about the arts?”

“Oh, that’s even harder. You think you’re doing great and then you remember people like Picasso and Da Vinci, at your age, were doing a thousand times better than you. And that’s just plastics”

“You can’t think like that!”

“But it’s true!”

“What if Babe Ruth thought he could never be as good as the players that came before him and gave up on baseball?”

Jeff seemed really passionate about whoever was it he was talking about.

“Jeff? I don’t know who Baby Ruth is”

“Babe Ruth” he corrected with a giggle. “Jesus, lady, the man was a legend”

“I’ll google it as soon as I get home, I promise”

He glanced at you, smiling, with a charming look on his eyes. Then he looked at the road again and changed the subject.

“We’re near the shortcut entry. Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

“Yeah, go for it”

He turned left and you saw the woods ahead. The road skirted a cliff at the very edge, leaving the drivers dangerously close to the sharp rocks underneath. It looked like the scenery of a horror movie. That awful feeling from before crawled back into your chest. You looked at Jeff, who seemed like he didn’t have a worry on the world, and realized he didn’t had his seatbelt on.

“Jeff, your seatbelt” you reminded him.

“What?” he frowned.

“Your seatbelt, it’s not on” you started panicking. The feeling was getting worse. Something was about to happen, and it would be bad. Really bad. “Please, Jeff, put it on”

“Okay, okay” he removed one hand from the steering wheel and reached for the belt. That’s when it happened.

There was a hole on the asphalt. As soon as the car passed by it, one of the wheels got stuck. You immediately put your arm in front of Jeff’s torso so he wouldn’t be thrown out the window. The car keeled over and stopped upside down on the middle of the road. There were glass shards and drops of blood everywhere.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” He asked, and then looked at your arm. “Fuck. Your arm. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry”

“It’s fine, calm down. Are you hurt?” You removed your arm from the protective grip and took a look on the glass shrapnels puncturing your skin.

“I-I don’t think so. But we need to get out of here” he said, and tried to open his door. It was stuck. “Try yours”

Stuck too.

“Let’s get out through the broken window” you suggested. He nodded. You had barely moved an inch when you saw a strong light coming towards you.

“Wha-” Jeff started.

“Truck” you gasped.

“Get out!” He screamed at you, pointing at the broken window.

“No time! Fuck, fuck, fuck, seatbelt Jeff!” you yelled. He desperately reached for his seatbelt, but not in time.

The truck didn’t see the car on the dark and hit it, throwing the vehicle all the way down the cliff.

dating nct hansol!!!1!!!

• hansol’s pretty quiet
• you guys speak satoori w each other a lot and everyone in the group thinks it’s super funny and entertaining
• the quiet couple in front of everyone else
• but when you two are alone you guys laugh like, 25/8
• you’re the only person that knows where he’s the most ticklish
• he’s ticklish, literally everywhere except his stomach ok he’s, it’s great
• “if we ever have kids-”
• “hans-”
• “let’s name the first one after a character in dragon ball”
• you guys watch anime together all the time omg
• yuta sometimes joins
• you guys don’t mind, yuta’s like, you guys’ best friend. he’s the sassy best friend in every best trio friends movie
• wiggles
• dancing
• he’s so good at dancing
• he tried to teach you how to dance once
• he still uses the video he secretly took to blackmail you
• he watches it when he’s tired or upset. always makes him laugh.
• jk please give hansol all the love. he deserves it. poor boy, locked up down in the basement.
• hansol is super protective
• like an older brother who actually cares
• he asks you a lot of questions like “how are you today?” “did you have fun today?”
• once he asked if you ate and you said no and he was like “oh my-” and hung up
• he drove all the way to your house with yuta and taeyong and made them move a whole bunch of snacks and drinks and food and made the other two guys move them into your house and he gave you a small awkward hug and brushed through your hair with his fingers and was like “you need to be healthy okay? even if you’re busy, please eat”
• and boy were you guilty bc you literally forgot to eat bc you were watching the office for the 17th time and binge watching all the anime that you’ve ever watched, ever
• he sometimes calls you every 5 minutes if he feels uneasy about you going somewhere alone and when he can’t accompany you and keep you safe
• “where are u now”
• “…the same place i was 5 minutes ago hansol. at the bus stop.”
• your parents first thought he was rude and told you not to meet him
• but then they talked to him a bit and realized that he was really quiet and unresponsive bc he was nervous
• they love him now ok your siblings love him too bc he’s super cool and tall and god he’s just a tree
• he got you a super fluffy teddy bear once
• it’s holding a heart that says “i love you” and it’s one of those voice recording bears, he recorded himself saying “i love you”
• it’s your most treasured item ever
• hansol gets jealous pretty easily but he never voices it out to you, he just gets a little more affectionate.
• he puts you in between his legs or puts you up on his lap and plays with your hair and gets crazy close to your neck (god), rests his chin on your shoulder, kisses your temple
• he takes a lot of pictures of you it’s the sweetest, cutest thing.
• his phone wallpaper is a picture that he took of you playing with jaemin and jeno
• his lock screen is a picture of you and him together after one of his dance performances
• hansol doesn’t cry much but when you do, he’s often lost and kind of awkward, but he gives you a nice hug and gives you nice kisses on the top of your head
• hansol gives really nice, sweet kisses
• his hands rest on your hips and your arms wrap around his neck and sometimes your hands tangle in his hair
• sweaty, in his white button up dress shirts (BRINGING THAT BACK), dark black pants, after practice = seX. ok im sorry.
• but fr that exists and it’s great ok.
• hansol loves talking to you, he’s pretty like, boring on text bc it’s “awkward” and “strange” to him, he calls you a lot
• hansol tried to cook for you once
• he did pretty well the first time actually
• then he got too confident and then almost burned the house down the second time he tried cooking.
• the closest thing to cooking you guys do is microwaving chinese food and making jello
• hansol is super tall and his height comes in handy, very often.
• “got you covered.”
• his biggest turn on is when you’re in one of his shirts that are too long on you, with a pair of shorts or nothing underneath except for your underwear and when you get on your tippy toes trying to get something on the highest shelf and your thighs kind of shows and god he loves it so mu c h, never have you guys not at least made out when that happened
• hansol is very, dominant
• he loves dirty talk goD.
• his hand sneaks into your inner thigh, a lot, ok bye im dead
• reading manga, eating snacks, and watching anime on your laptop on hansol’s bed, totally not involved in any sex, is a thing and it’s one of the dorkiest things you guys do, but it’s also one of the most common thing in your relationship
• hansol has a really high alcohol tolerance
• you, however, do not and hansol also, takes videos of you drunk, and uses it for blackmail.
• hansol has got a lot of shit on you and that’s what makes your relationship 98% more interesting.
• you guys sometimes just sit down and watch weird shit he’s recorded of you and laugh
• “ur so dumb”
• “hansol shut up”
• yuta has a lot of shit on both of you
• yuta sends one weird thing he has on the two of you every two weeks in a group chat.
• you, don’t even know half the things yuta send and when or how or where he got these videos
• he literally sent a video of you kissing a cow’s tail on new years while yelling “HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY!” and pinched the cow for not wearing green and started crying because you were alone today and it was easter and bunnies made you cry bc they’re so fluffy and cute. it was a saturday. in june. you were with hansol and yuta and probably doyoung too. hansol tried to stop you from crying. yuta swears you weren’t drunk and that you were sane and you were just possessed.
• you were probably drunk.
• “wow u guys are really cute together”
• “johnny. im cute together with everybody.”
• “(y/n)”
• “hansol i love u”
• hansol’s lowkey not insecure at all
• he’s very confident about your feelings for him
• he knows you love him
• and it’s true you do love him
• hansol doesn’t say “i love you” a lot
• but he says it occasionally and it totally melts you
• hansol has a tumblr
• so does johnny
• they get together and scroll through their memes and send you the funny ones
• half of them are made by you
• but they don’t need to know that
• he carries you bridal style pretty often
• he’s so kept to himself bc he’s a strong “busan man”
• but we all know, you esp, that he’s a baby and a little 9 year old boy trapped in a large, 183 cm man’s body
• he calls you princess
• hansol, ok this is like really underrated and not canon, but hansol loves it when you read for him like, read his favorite books to him out loud or reads anything out loud, he loves your voice and he just, loves you reading things for him
• ok on a side note, hansol loves your singing, doesn’t matter if you can or can’t sing, to hansol, it’ll sound good, no matter what.
• hansol friggin loves your hair
• hansol friggin loves your smile
• hansol and your selfies are on point ok
• sexy selfies, hot selfies, cute selfies, couple selfies, YOU NAME IT, YOU GUYS ROCK IT.
• you guys keep the whole “WE’RE A COUPLE” thing lowkey
• ok but you guys have couple rings
• and couple bracelets
• you guys took a vacation to an amusement park and you guys bought one of those cute animal ear headbands and took a whole bunch of selfies
• it’s your phone wallpaper
• you guys have super intense staring contests
• pokemon battles
• you guys go out and buy and collect pokemon cards and have battles
• intense ok. intense.
• pokemon go
• pokemon go all the time
• “what? are you ok-”
• messy bun, trainers, talk tops and jackets for you, and messy bed hair, comfy adidas pants, a lightweight shirt for hansol.
• hansol isn’t THAT interested in fashion but he always manage to look good
• you guys go to the beach sometimes and goD it’s fun
• he sprays water on you and you two make sand castles and write each other’s names in the sand like “I LOVE HANSOL!” “I LOVE (Y/N)!”
• on halloween you two dressed as vampires
• you guys looked hoT.
• hansol is always there to comfort and talk to you when you feel bad or have a problem or feel insecure
• he’s not a good talker, really, but he’s such a great listener
• but sometimes he’d talk for hours about topics that he’s passionate about
• it’s really cute
• aegyo is funny with hansol
• he’s so good at aegyo, that it makes you just, CRINGE SO HARD SOMETIMES AND YOU GIVE HIM HUGS and HE LAUGHS
• hansol’s LAUGH.
• you learned so much satoori from hansol ok this is random bc i talked about satoori 49405005 bullets ago but fr you guys’ satoori is the best
• you get very defensive over hansol
• if anyone insults hansol-
• ok if anyone other than the nct members, jokingly-
• -insults hansol, you will burst like a volcano
• hansol loves you for it but sometimes you get a lil scary
• but he still loves you for it bc you’re the first person who was willing to protect him like that
• hansol isn’t very good with words on a daily basis, but still
• one time-
• one time you guys have just started actually dating and all the pressure of being a good girlfriend was honestly driving you crazy
• and hansol, didn’t know how to really, comfort you. but he wanted to.
• so, hansol, being as extra as he is, decided to write you a letter about all the reasons why he loves you and stuff like that, you know
• and he made yuta give you the letter LOL
• and when you read it you started crying and hansol sat next to you and patted your back gently and gave you a nice hug and kissed you
• yes that was your first kiss
• and yes it was amazing
• ok hansol is pretty extra. in a really lowkey way.
• hansol’s room is full of posters
• anime posters
• and manga
• ji hansol. one of nct members that’ll probably say “you had a crush on me? that’s embarassing.” in the future
• “hansol. we’re married”
• “…still!”
• hansol is fr a super tall, hot, nerd.
• and you love that so much ok no joke wow this is amazing how’d you land such a wonderful guy
• you love hansol
• hansol loves you
• pls get married and have beautiful children together.

ok THIS IS HANSOLLLLLLLLLLL. hansol has been giving me mad feels these days i just can’t w hansol. JI HANSOL IS WONDERFUL. please give him more love.

anonymous asked:

Hey Suz, i have a more unusual request: could you do a headcanon for Jim and Pike, because i really loved their father / son dynamic. Thanks :)

I can’t ship them romantically, but here, have some father/son bonding moments:

Jim’s fingers run over his sore nose. It’s no longer bleeding, but he can still feel it. He grunts when there’s a hand on his shoulder, and Pike sits down next to him. “Why is that every time we see each other, you’re beat up one way or another?” Pike asks, and Jim huffs. "I was just trying to get a point across,“ he says. “With your fist?” Pike asks, ordering another beer for both of them. He turns to look at Jim, and he’s no doctor, but he’s fairly sure those bruises would leave him soon enough. “So, your test scores are higher than expected.” “Expected?” Jim asks, turning to look at Pike, “you expected me to fail?” “What? No. But your dad was never as great at showing up to social gatherings and studying for tests at the same time. Tell me, do you even get your eight hours of sleep a night?” Jim huffs at that question, taking a swig from his beer, and he raises his shoulders in a shrug. “A night? No. A week? Probably.” “Jesus, kid. Go home and sleep,” Pike says, “and make sure you get that nose checked out.”

The last thing Jim expects is to find Pike on a Saturday afternoon. It’s weird seeing these people on his days off, even if it’s Pike. And Pike sits crouched in front of a motor bike. It’s on a small parking lot in the city center, but he uses the space like he’s at home. “What are you doing?” Jim asks, and Pike looks up. He’s seen him out of uniform a couple times, but seeing him in baggy jeans and a dirty white t-shirt is still an odd sight. “I’m fixing my bike so I can take her for a spin,” Pike says, and Jim steps closer. “D’you need any help?” he asks. Pike looks at Jim with a small smile, then he tosses him a wrench. 

“Where’s McCoy?” Pike asks when he finds Jim by himself, “seems like you two are attached at the hip sometimes.” “You keeping an eye on me?” Jim counter-asks, and Pike smiles. Jim’s been sitting outside campus. In the park, books on his lap, and he’s trying to study. Emphasis on trying, because while he’s trying to read, he’s mostly just looking at people passing by. “McCoy’s in Georgia with his kid,” Jim says, shrugging, “and anyway, I’m trying to get close to this girl. Long, black hair. Studies Xenolinguistics?” “Oh, that’s great,” Pike says, sitting next to him, “what’s her name?” “I was wondering if you knew,” Jim replies, and Pike laughs. “Okay. No, I’m not giving out student names so you can hook up with them,” he says, “what are you doing?” “I’m studying for Tactical Analysis,” Jim replies, “is this course really necessary? I’d rather take the kobayashi maru test.” “Yeah, you do seem to like failing,” Pike says, “why don’t you read me some of your findings, and I’ll give you feedback?”

“When you called and said it was an emergency, this isn’t what I expected,” Pike admits, seeing Jim lean against a tree near a college dorm. He’s unstable on his feet, the buttons of his shirt are messily buttoned, and his hair sticks out in every possible direction. “It is an emergency,” Jim slurs out, visibly drunk, and Pike rolls his eyes. “Had a good night, then?” “No,” Jim replies, “I failed the test.” “Everyone fails that test, Jim,” Pike says, “that’s kind of the point-” “No, I’m gonna beat it,” Jim promises him and Pike laughs. He grabs Jim’s arm and slings it over his own shoulder, steadying him so he can walk this mess of a boy home. “Kid, you’re gonna be the death of me. To your dorm, then?” he asks, but Jim shakes his head. “Can’t. Roommate kicked me out for the night. Bones is out on a field trip to some hospital… drop me off at the library, I’ve slept there before.” “Me, too, when I was a student,” Pike admits, pulling Jim towards the sidewalk, “but I’ll take you to my flat. You can crash on my couch.”

After graduation, Pike buys them all the beers they can drink, and they sit together in a quiet bar away from campus. Jim listens to Pike talk. About his experiences as a captain. About being friends with Jim’s father in the Academy, And, listening to his stories - about getting in trouble with George when they tried to steal a shuttlecraft for the weekend (”seriously, Jim, don’t get any ideas. I see that twinkle in your eyes”), to introducing George to Winona, to passing that Kobayashi Maru test without winning it, and sacrificing everything for the safety of his crew. His family. 

Jim listens to Pike scold him for the events on Nibiru. He knows Pike is right, but his own ego and his current annoyance towards Spock is stopping him from seeing that. “You lied, Jim, on an official report,” Pike says, and Jim lets out an annoyed sigh. “What was I supposed to do, let Spock die?” “You shouldn’t have sent your First Officer there in the first place!” Pike says, “you broke a dozen Starfleet regulations and nearly got everybody on your ship killed. Come on, son, I expected better from you.” “Don’t ‘son’ me,” Jim says, “you’re not my father.” “Then stop acting like a child,” Pike says, “and start behaving like the goddamn captain you are. I saw a greatness in you when no one else did. I don’t regret that decision one bit, but don’t you start disappointing me now, Jim. Go back to the Academy, get yourself together, and be the Captain I know you can be.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim says quietly, and he finds himself looking down at his feet. “You said I was going to be the death of you, but I never thought you’d take it so literally.” Pike’s grave is off campus; on a clean patch of bright green grass, and surrounded by the graves of other fallen Starfleet officers. There’s fresh flowers on his grave, and a letter in a child’s handwriting. Must be family, but Jim doesn’t remember Pike ever having any kids. The fact that his grave is visited makes him happy, though. “I thought getting Khan would make this somehow easier but it’s not… not really. Anyway, I uh, bought you a beer for your birthday, but I’ll drink it myself. I can already hear you yelling at me for wasting good beer if I didn’t drink it, so. ” He hesitates, because how dumb is this? He’s literally talking to a grave. But then, it does feel nice, and Pike was always a good listener. Even if he’s not talking back, now. So Jim talks about their five year mission into space coming up, and how he feels weird about missing out on birthday drinks with Pike, but Bones has been doing a great job taking over where Pike left off. “Anyway, so… thank you,” Jim ends a little awkwardly, “I never knew what it was like to have a dad, but now I know, and I wish you’d been there a little longer.” Turning around, he walks away. And exiting the cemetery, Bones slides an arm around Jim’s waist and keeps him close. Spock, too, rests a hand on Jim’s shoulder, and the three of them head towards the Enterprise. Jim understood before what Pike meant when he talked about sacrificing himself for family, but he never quite felt it the way he does now, and it’s astonishing how Pike keeps teaching him things, even when he’s no longer there.

Billboard Cover: A Candid Conversation With Demi Lovato & Nick Jonas on Surviving Disney, Their Huge New Tour and Pop Stardom on Their Own Terms

Though it’s only a little after 9 a.m., Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas are already bickering. They’re seated on the terrace at the ritzy Wynn ­brunchery Tableau on a hot Las Vegas summer ­morning, and Lovato has asked Jonas to tack fries onto his meal so she can “have one and not feel bad about myself.” When the server arrives, Jonas requests an off-menu egg white omelet – then casually adds, “You know what? These fries look so good, I might just get them.” But Lovato has already changed her mind. “No, no. He’s not going to get the fries. I’m watching what he eats. You’re ­welcome, honey.” She rests a patronizing hand on his shoulder. Jonas shakes his head. “You threw me right under the bus.”

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Drowning Slowly Ch. 5/?

Find the first four chapters on AO3 

This was possibly the most awkward experience Bellamy Blake had ever had.

Well, it was a close second to that one time in high school when he had gotten drunk at that one party… But ignoring that small incident, this was definitely a chart topper.

He and Clarke sat stiffly on opposite ends of the plush couch in the living room and stared vacantly at the television screen. It was playing reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, but he was pretty sure that Clarke wasn’t paying the slightest of attention to it. He knew this because he wasn’t either. At all.

The air between them had been thick and awkward ever since Clarke had come downstairs from her shower. How could it not have been? They’d never gotten along before… so how the hell was Bellamy supposed to start a conversation? By saying “It’s really sunny out today”?  That was the most cliché conversation starter in existence.

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Taken For Your Word

Part 6! I freakin’ love this chapter. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7

Read on ao3

Amethyst groaned.  It was too bright. She rolled over and yelped because she was falling, and a second later she was laying face-down on the floor next to the couch.  She really needed to get Pearl to buy a futon.  Or like, a pull-out couch. She lifted her head and tugged her hair away from her face with both hands.  It must be the afternoon by now because it was really bright in here, geez.  Amethyst got up to close the blinds and went to the kitchen to find Pearl on the phone.

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anonymous asked:

Tell me a story. :)


A bunch of months ago I was working out all the time and I had quit drinking to try and lose weight and a bunch of bad shit happened and I stopped hanging out with all of my friends. I wanted to disappear; become someone else, have someone else’s life. I couldn’t stand my own.

After my third straight weekend of not leaving my apartment or speaking to another human being, I decided I had to do something drastic. So I booked a cruise. By myself.

Little known fact, for those folks who live in Los Angeles: For around 200 bucks, you can get a weekend cruise from Long Beach down to Mexico for the weekend that leaves Friday night and returns early Monday morning. Early enough, as it so happens, that you can make a 10am meeting at your job with no one being the wiser (although the second time I did it I got to work 45 minutes late and told everybody I forgot to set my alarm. Whooooops).

I told no one about this. 

First off, it was completely insane.

Secondly, secrets are power. Having a secret that no one else knows is a cheap and easy way to give yourself confidence - not too different from emotional Red Bull - and a shot of confidence is exactly what I needed right then. A couple of shots, as it turns out: I actually ended up going on two cruises by myself. The second one was a mistake. But I’ll get to that in a second.

Driving down to Long Beach on Friday night, I got a feeling I’ve never known before - but it’s a feeling that will be familiar to anyone reading this who’s ever gone on a trip by themselves: It’s a mix of equal parts freedom, self confidence, and the exhilarating feeling that you are carrying around a secret fire within you. You can do whatever you want. You can act however you want. You can be whomever you want. It was this last thing I was most interested in.

The first cruise was whatever. I spent a lot of time in the hot tub talking to moms and their kids, I spent a lot of time reading. There are shops on the boat. The cheapest cruise tickets give you a room without a window - my windowless room rocking back and forth made me feel seasick, so I spent a lot of time up on the deck or walking around. Talking to no one.

I did most of my talking at dinner: For dinners, they put you at a table with other people. There was a couple from Arizona who were very nice (the husband had worked in the control room of a local TV station, so we bonded about that). Otherwise, I kept pretty much to myself. There was a nightclub (VERY loose definition) on board, but nobody went in it. We got down to Ensenada, and I walked around for a bit, then we got back on the boat, sailed back, docked at Long Beach, and I drove into work. Made the meeting. Nobody knew. It was glorious.

I took the same cruise again two weeks later, but this time was different: I decided I was going to lie to everyone I met. I was going to pretend to be somebody else. Insane? Yes. Horribly fun and exciting? Also yes.

But here’s where my plan backfired: On this cruise, I met a girl.

Since I’ve gotten in shape, occasionally girls will talk to me. I still have no idea what I’m doing and am incredibly awkward, but they try anyway. Here’s how it happened: I’m in the hot tub, waiting for the moms and their kids to show up… when 6 college girls get in instead. They are all from USC, and they are all very nice. One of them in particular is hilarious, and we hit it off.  Because I am stupid and flustered about this whole situation, I immediately spill the beans and tell them all my plan to lie to everyone on board. The girl tells me flat out that my plan is “stupid and clearly the plan of a murderer”, and that she loves it. I tell her my fake name (Scott), and she tells me her fake name (Norah, although later when we all get drunk in the nightclub her friends forget and call her Mickey). She says we should do a whole “Lost in Translation” thing, never tell each other our real names, and hang out for the whole cruise. I agree.

So we do. It’s great.

Here’s what I learn about Norah, of which all or none may be true:

  • She’s a senior (she was drinking, so I believe this one)
  • She’s studying Kinesiology
  • She’s from Ohio
  • She’s never been to Canada
  • She has a scar running down her leg from when she was a kid and she tried to prove to her older brother that she could fly and jumped out of a tree.
  • She has a dog named Potato Chips
  • She’s beautiful and I’m in love with her
  • She thinks my name is Scott
  • This whole dumb plan is fucking stupid and I hate myself

The rest of the cruise we all spend very, very drunk. I hang out in their suite, which is great and not at all seasickness-inducing like my own personal windowless cave of misery. Norah keeps doing this bit where she stands on my stomach for some reason I can’t remember. I pass out on their floor (but so does this other girl Kasey or Kaley or something, so I don’t feel so bad). I can’t eat the pretzels in their room because I’m trying to not eat carbs. We all go back to the hot tub, but there are other people in it and it’s too cold to get in the pool so we go inside and play cards. Norah is great and funny and charming and she keeps saying that her haircut is too short and I keep complimenting her on her great wig and she keeps pulling my hair and then someone says we should all go play shuffleboard up on the top deck so we do but on the way up we lose some people and then it’s me and Norah on a team versus the girl who passed out on the floor with me and this other girl who is as dumb as a bag of shit and Norah is TERRIBLE at shuffleboard I mean like really bad so we lose but it’s hilarious because after every point she keeps screaming “NOOOOO” towards the heavens like it’s the end of the world and the other two girls go to bed and the deck is deserted but still so brightly lit up and Norah and I fight the wind and work our way to the front of the boat where there’s a bench. And we sit.

Cruise ships travel in twos - in case one sinks, the other can come to their rescue - and when you’re out there in the endless black ocean on the deserted top deck of this big bright ship, you can’t help but watch the other boat, your traveling companion, out there ahead of you in the dark. Sparkling and silent and gorgeous, cutting through the black. Like a diamond in ink.

Secrets are power. Having a secret that no one else knows is a cheap and easy way to give yourself confidence - but that confidence lasts only as long as the secret does. True confidence comes from comfort; from having a companion out there ahead of you in the dark, ready to help if you sink - and that can’t happen when you’re pretending to be something you’re not. I knew right then that this would be my last cruise. This had been a mistake.

The wind is ferocious up there on the top deck and it’s suddenly very cold. Norah tells me to put my arm around her, so I do. Looking out into the night at the other ship, she tells me her real name is Mickey. It’s short for Michaela. I tell her that Scott is actually my middle name. She doesn’t ask for my first. She says that’s good enough.

This is the part of the story where I tell you that I leaned in to kiss her, or that I whispered in her ear, or that I invited her back to my room. But I didn’t. I should have, I should have. But here’s a hard truth: even when you’re pretending to be somebody else in the middle of the night on top of a cruise ship somewhere out in the endless dark of the ocean deep drunk with a complete stranger who tells you to put your arm around her, you are still yourself. And I am a coward.

Michaela and I sat there for a while, not talking. It was nice. It was terrible. The wind, the only one bearing witness to my gutless display of doing absolutely nothing, did its best to chap my lips and chill me to the bone. Eventually Mickey said “let’s go to bed”. But she meant hers and mine. Not ours.

The next morning we got back to Long Beach. I went to her room, but they had already disembarked. I waited around for 45 minutes like an asshole on the dock in the hopes of running into her, but didn’t. Instead, I walked to my car, was late to work, and told everyone I slept through my alarm. I never saw her again and she never knew my real name - but she’s out there somewhere, a girl who has never been to Canada, has a dog named Potato Chips, and once fell out of a tree while trying to show her brother she could fly.

Or not.

ask meme - 1989 lyrics
  • “Everybody here wanted more”
  • “Like any great love, it keeps you guessing”
  • “But you know you wouldn’t change anything”
  • “I could show you incredible things”
  • “You look like my next mistake”
  • “Love’s a game, wanna play?”
  • “I can read you like a magazine”
  • “I’m dying to see how this one ends”
  • “I can make the bad guys good for a weekend”
  • “‘Cause you know I love the players”
  • “And you love the game”
  • “‘Cause we’re young and we’re reckless
  • “Got a long list of ex-lovers”
  • “They’ll tell you I’m insane”
  • “You’re the king, baby, I’m your queen”
  • “I can make all the tables turn”
  • “I get drunk on jealousy”
  • “But you’ll come back each time you leave”
  • “‘Cause darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream”
  • “Boys only want love if it’s torture”
  • “Don’t say I didn’t warn you”
  • “I should tell you to leave ‘cause I know exactly where this leads”
  • “You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye”
  • “When we go crashing down we come back every time”
  • “We never go out of style”
  • “I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt”
  • “Are we out of the woods yet?”
  • Is it clear yet?”
  • “We were built to fall apart”
  • “Like we stood a chance”
  • “When you started crying, baby I did too”
  • “But when the sun came up, I was looking at you”
  • “People like you always want back the love they gave away”
  • “People like me want to believe you when you say you’ve changed”
  • “All you had to do was stay”
  • “Why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?”
  • “I’ve been picking up the pieces of the mess you made”
  • “People like you always want back the love they pushed aside”
  • “People like me are gone forever when you say goodbye”
  • “Let me remind you, this is what you wanted”
  • “You were all I wanted”
  • “I stay out too late”
  • “Got nothing in my brain”
  • “That’s what people say”
  • “My ex-man brought his new girlfriend”
  • “You’re thinking that I hate you now”
  • “I wish you would come back”
  • “I wish you knew that I’ll never forget you as long as I live”
  • “Wish you were right here, right now”
  • “I wish we could go back”
  • “I miss you too much to be mad anymore”
  • “You always knew how to push my buttons”
  • “You give me everything and nothing”
  • “I wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for”
  • “Did you have to do this?”
  • “I was thinking that you could be trusted”
  • “Did you have to hit me where I’m weak?”
  • “Did you think we’d be fine?”
  • “Don’t think it’s in the past”
  • “All these things will catch up to you”
  • “Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes”
  • “You say sorry just for show”
  • “Now we got problems”
  • “Let’s get out of this town”
  • “Heaven can’t help me now”
  • “Nothing lasts forever”
  • “I can see the end as it begins”
  • “Say you’ll remember me”
  • “Say you’ll see me again”
  • “No one has to know what we do”
  • “You were too afraid to tell her what you want”
  • “And that’s how it works”
  • “That’s how you get the girl”
  • “I want you for worse or for better”
  • “I would wait forever and ever”
  • “Broke you heart, I’ll put it back together”
  • “And you left her all alone”
  • “Remind me of how it used to be”
  • “Say you want me”
  • “I want you forever and ever”
  • “And you were just gone”
  • “I never dreamed of this”
  • “This love is good”
  • “This love is bad”
  • “But you’re still gone”
  • “You showed up just in time”
  • "I watched you leave”
  • “You come back to what you need”
  • “I can hear them whisper as we pass by”
  • Love’s a fragile little flame”
  • “They are the hunters, we are the foxes”
  • “I know places we won’t be found”
  • “Let them say what they want”
  • “Loose lips sink ships all the damn time”
  • “Just grab my hand and don’t ever drop it”
  • “I lost the war”
  • “I think I am finally clean”
  • “There was nothing left to do”
  • “I punched a hole in the roof”
  • “I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing”
  • “Nothing’s as it seems”
  • “I’m spinning out of control”
  • “Didn’t they tell us not to rush into things?”
  • “Haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds?”
  • “Should’ve slept with one eye open”
  • “We found wonderland”
  • “Life was never worse but never better”
  • “I had to go back home”
  • “We both went mad”
  • “I reached for you but you were gone”
  • “Time moved too fast”
  • “You are in love”
  • “He keeps his word”
  • “You’re my best friend”
  • “He is in love”
  • “He keeps a picture of you in his office”
  • “We’re so tired of everything”
  • “Trust me, mine is better”
  • “We’re so young but we’re on the road to ruin”
  • “We play dumb but we know exactly what we’re doing”
  • “Life is just a classroom”
  • “I could build a castle out of all the brick they threw at me”
  • “Everyday is like a battle”
  • “We’re the new romantics”
  • “Come along with me”
  • “The best people in life are free”
  • “I’m about to play my Ace”
  • “We need love”
  • All we want is danger”
  • “The rumors are terrible and cruel”
  • “Please take my hand”
  • “Please take me dancing”
  • “Please leave me stranded”
  • “It’s so romantic”

just got home and i am soaked and exhausted. after about 5-6h of sleep last night i left home at around 10am and just got back at 1am. there were no taxis at the train station so i had to walk home 20 mins in pouring rain. cooool

anyway, big weekend was loads of fun but i can barely see to type (just remembered i’m still wearing my contact lenses, def best purchase of the last week, it was so great being able TO SEE) so i’m just gonna make a list of the things i kinda remember. i’ve not watched any live footage or interviews yet so my memory is a bit hazy soz

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