everybody knows that its a fact

social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him. 

random headcanon time

boi ive been thinkin about this shit for the past couple days 

So, like, what if the Red lion was a total fact nerd? Everybody knows that one person who always knows some weird factoid that makes you go “huh, cool,” right?

Red is that person.

Keith thought it was interesting and neat at first when a random fact popped into his head. At first.

brown eyes are blue underneath”

“Altea had ants that breathed fire”

“A bolt of lightning is six times hotter than the sun“ 

“Cat kidneys are so efficient they can rehydrate by drinking seawater” 

“theres a planet name Zve that has two-headed humanoid beings”

But its like, constant. And eventually keith starts getting annoyed “beCAUSE JFC RED IM TRYING TO PEE I DONT NEED TO KNOW LEMONS ARE MORE ACIDIC THAN VINEGAR”

And the others just kinda laugh when Keith storms down the halls towards his hangar to apprehend his nerd of a lion. Lance thinks it the the best thing since sliced bread.

So, everyone is fully aware of this, and teases Keith about it. Sometimes asking for a random fact to just grate on his nerves.

He drags them into his hell.

Whenever Red is particularly enthusiastic about delivering these wonderful bursts of info, the angry child will recite them aloud as he receives them to whoever is closest.  

Hey, Lance. Did you know you can start a fire with ice?”

“Pidge, shrimp can only swim backwards”

“Fish can drown” “Keith plz” “Fish can drown, Hunk”

It gets even worse when hes angry or happy. The others have tried apologizing to get him to stop. 

But its too late.

And they have no idea that sometimes he pulls things out of his ass when Red is silent for once.

pelicans can’t look up”

“theres a planet ten galaxies over named HellFire- no Lance I already asked Allura we cant go there”

Red is very proud.

Maybe I’ll Call You Mine (Yoongi)

In which Yoongi isn’t too upset that you’re ruining his badass reputation, as long as he can kiss you whenever he wants.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

There are three rules about Min Yoongi.

High school is a hell of survival and in its noisy corridors of papers flying, guys jeering and girls giggling, the silent whispers of the golden rules are exchanged like a worldwide fact. Everybody knows better than to mess with Min Yoongi if they wanted to live to see the next day.

Everyone that is, except you.

Rule 1 : Min Yoongi never smiles (like, ever).

Spending Friday afternoon at the school library hours after school has been out sorting through just about a thousand library books was not how you had thought your weekend would be starting off.

Yet here you were, stamp in one hand, gigantic pile of books stacked next to you haphazardly as you tried to log, categorize and number them all. You had thought volunteering at the library would mean hours of silent haven, flipping through books and doing basically nothing.

Not running back and forth trying to put books in all the right places and realizing you really were too short for the top shelf besides the fact that it had been hours since you had last seen a bed and probably looked very much like hell.

And it didn’t help that Min Yoongi was staring.

“You know,” you said at last, trying to carry a pile of books way too heavy for you all at once. “It’s rude to stare at people failing at life.”

Yoongi drops what he has been pretending to read for the past twenty minutes (Basketball Through The Ages : A History) and there is tug of the edge of his lips that begins to resemble something of a smile.

But that’s impossible. Min Yoongi never smiles.

“Watching you try to put things in the top shelf you’re a foot too short for seemed like better entertainment,” he says, tugging at his dark bangs that almost fell past his eyes. You blush a little, pouting.

“There was a time chivalry was alive and people would help if they saw someone lacking,” you mumble, standing on your toes to put the encyclopedias in to the upper sections.

“Maybe,” he says, but he gets up anyway, walking over to you and taking the hefty books from your grasp. He’s not too tall himself but even then, he’s able to place all of the books up without any trouble at all and you curse genetics for you being way too small for your own good.

“I guess chivalry isn’t so dead after all,” you say, placing books on the shelves you could actually reach.

“So what do I get for that?” Yoongi asks, hint of playfulness in his voice and you blink at him in surprise. You look around in desperation.

“Here,” you say at last, taking a gold star sticker from the drawer and reaching out to his cheek, lightly sticking it there and smoothing it out with your thumb.

He’s quiet for a moment and you feel like you’ve been too forward too soon. You’re rooted to the spot, blushing so hard, it’s difficult to look anywhere except your feet.

“I’m sorry I -”

And then he’s laughing and it’s a beautiful sound; soft and high pitched and carefree, the kind that makes you feel something in your chest, warm and glorious all at once. Your cheeks tint pinker when he ruffles your hair.

“Do you give gold stars to everyone that helps you out?”

“Only the chivalrous semi-tall kind that help out a damsel in distress,” you smirk.

You both spend the rest of the afternoon sorting through about a hundred more books, Yoongi holding you up by your waist every time a book was too high to reach and you smacking his arm and telling him you could manage on your own as you got redder with every time he picked you up.

He laughs at your reddening cheeks and pinches them lightly and you wonder who the hell said Min Yoongi doesn’t smile.

It may be rare, but Min Yoongi smiles like tangible iridescent sunshine.

Rule 2 : Min Yoongi never shares food (like, ever).

The cafeteria is so packed, you can barely find place to give yourself walking leeway, forget about finding a seat when about ten people are sharing one table. You sigh, eyes scanning every corner of the room even though you’ve lost all hopes of finding anywhere to sit.

Until you see an entire empty table. With only Min Yoongi on it.

“Saving my life again,” you tell him as you slip into the seat next to him. He looks up from his fries and raises an eyebrow.

“Always at hand for the damsel in distress,” he says at last, downing fries with water.

“How the hell did you manage fries and I got eight year old meat?” You say, wrinkling your nose at what the cafeteria lady had plopped onto your tray five minutes ago.

“What can I say? I have a way with the ladies.” You choke, rolling your eyes.

“If only I had some fries right now,” you say, leaning over his shoulder with a dramatic sigh. Yoongi groans.

“Okay, look. If you can catch a fry with your mouth on the first try, you can have all of it.”

You perk up, grinning.

“You’re on.”

Yoongi picks up a fry, aiming carefully at your face. He throws it in slow motion and you catch it in your mouth just a second before it falls to the table, beaming like crazy. He raises his eyebrows again in surprise and pushes his fries to you and it is only then that you realize the whole cafeteria has gone silent. The staring towards the two of you is so blatant, even Yoongi seems to notice as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

“Um, Yoongi, I think we should -”

“Yeah,” he says, and you both walk out awkwardly amidst hushed whispering.

Rule 3 : Min Yoongi doesn’t fall in love (like, ever).

It’s the third week in a row Min Yoongi has stayed back after school to help you with library duty and you’re getting more than a little suspicious.

Lucky you don’t mind having him around too much to overlook this fact.

Of course in your dictionary, ‘not minding’ having Yoongi around meant blushing every time he was anywhere near you, stuttering whenever he gave you the rare compliment, and trying to control the butterflies you felt whenever he so much as looked in your general direction.

Not that you were going to tell him this.

“I’m going home,” you say, finishing up with the last of the sorting as Yoongi let you down from his shoulders at last. “Thanks for helping out again, Yoongi-ah.”

“About that,” he says, as you zip your bag and sling it over your shoulder. “I don’t think I can help you out with the library anymore.” You freeze, looking into his eyes with desperation, heart sinking.

“Why?”

He takes a second to phrase his reason. “There was a change of plan.” But you weren’t going to let go that easily.

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with this dorky girl who spends more time in the library than she does with actual people not to mention the fact that she ruins my reputation on a twenty four by seven basis which is getting pretty damn hard to ignore,” he says, smiling so wide, his gums show.

“I thought Min Yoongi doesn’t fall in love,” you say, blushing hard. He shakes his head slowly.

“Like I said, there may have been a slight change in plans,” he says, reaching down and finding your lips which he presses lightly against his own. You close your eyes, hands finding his shirt and tugging him closer. When you pull away, he’s flushed and grinning.

“This is what I meant by ruining my reputation.”

But Yoongi doesn’t mind too much because he gets about ten gold stars for that kiss that day.


YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE JUST CHILLING HAVING A NICE TIME AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU BEGIN TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU IN FACT ARE A PERSON WHO SEES THINGS FROM A FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW AS DOES EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD AND THEY SEE YOU FROM THE SAME POINT OF VIEW THAT YOU SEE THEM AND ONCE YOU DIE WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN YOU ARE THE ONLY YOU TO EXIST AND NOBODY’S GOING TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK AND FEEL BECAUSE ITS JUST YOU AND ALSO IS ANYONE ACTUALLY REAL??? I COULD BE A FIGMENT OF SOMEONE’S IMAGINATION. YOU COULD BE TOO. F UCK

[draws art for a dead fandom] mm :^)

Pokemon Bank Update Release Date
  • Me: Ok, today is the day when they're doing season 2 of the special battle in Sun and Moon and still no Pokémon Bank Update yet? So when you'll release it?
  • Nintendo: Its gonna happen in January 2017-
  • Me: I know that! In fact, everybody knows that. I mean what day? Like tomorrow, this Friday, next week, in the 30th? Be More specific, Nintendo!
  • Nintendo: .....
You know what

If the fact that im russian is a problem for you you can fucking unfollow me or whatever i don`t care  because i love my country anyway and i know its not perfect but you know everybody makes mistakes and i dont think that our Federal Channel leaked episode for purpose but we`ll never know for sure i guess  so stop bullying or blaming us about it 
AND IT`S NOT POLITICS IT`S NOT PUTIN OKAY? could you stop please?

I honestly can’t stop laughing at the fact that the United States as a country can collectively say we have a clown problem.

How many other countries can say that? This has to be an achievement or something.

I can just imagine a meeting between all the countries of the world taking about their issues like, “we have massive debt, unemployment, and famine. What about you, US?” 

“We have a clown problem.”

“A wha-” “A clown problem, David. We have a clown problem.”

hey so i don’t know if y’all know this (in fact that’s why i’m making this post) but @wolveria makes the best fucking clone wars amvs and when i say that i am not exaggerating in the goddamn slightest, i always end up so shocked and just sitting there staring at the screen like, holy shit?? that just happened????? she takes the ultimate advantage of the lyrics and instrumental effects PLUS just straight up being fuckin awesome, i need everyone to drool over them with me

#DexDay

Many thanks to @crwilley, @urbanhymnal and @bittybae for their help in fashioning Dex-centric headcanons to feed this fic!


Everybody knows that Nursey annoys Dex. Nursey annoying Dex is a fact of life, like the sun coming up or Bitty baking pies. Nursey’s privileged as hell, and he thinks he’s a special sweet poetry-reading snowflake, and no matter how close they’ve gotten there will always be something about Nursey that just rankles Dex to his core.

But Nursey’s not the only thing that annoys Dex. And Dex feels fucking lousy about it. Because Nursey deserves it. But Chowder. Damn it, Chowder annoys Dex too, despite the fact that he’s never done a thing to deserve it.

It’s not even Chowder himself, really. It’s the way people respond to him. He’s everybody’s favorite puppy dog in goalie form, and everyone treats him like that, lining up to feed him or scratch him behind the ears. Dex doesn’t get that kind of treatment. He doesn’t have the right temperament. And who needs to be babied and coddled and loved on like that, anyway? It’d be humiliating, he’s almost sure of it.

But damn it, sometimes he wishes someone would treat him like he’s special, too.

Keep reading

27. “I’m pregnant.”

When he wakes up the next morning, he’s fully at ease for a moment or two, wrapped up in the soft sheets that hold an unusual yet so comforting scent that he wants to do nothing more than to just stay there for the rest of his life.

Of course, reality eventually hits Levi when he realizes that this isn’t his bed.

The first thing that gives it away is the fact that his head is propped up on two pillows. Everybody knows that just one pillow is optimal, and in fact, Levi doesn’t even own any more than just one. The second thing, which ultimately causes him to crack his eyes open, is the faint sound of something that resembles vomiting carrying over from the bathroom.

The thought of someone throwing up in his bathroom is rather disconcerting, so of course he staggers up, only to discover that this isn’t his room, either. By extension, the bathroom where someone’s currently blowing chunks doesn’t belong to him either, which makes the whole situation a little better, he supposes.

On second thought, maybe not, because now as he blinks away the last few traces of sleep, he realizes that this is Eren’s room. And by that logic, the person vomiting in the bathroom must be Eren.

Very slowly, last night’s events return to him. They’d downed a few drinks and played some video games, nothing too unusual, but at some point it all becomes a blur, no matter how much Levi tries to strain his memory.

What he does remember is bare tanned skin thrumming under his fingertips and lidded emerald eyes staring him down and drawing him in deeper, and holy hell, he’d fucked Eren last night, hadn’t he?

Yes. Yes, he had.

The details aren’t all that clear to him, but he distinctly recalls having Eren cling on to him, nails digging into his shoulders and his body responding to Levi’s every touch so beautifully, as if he was made for Levi to hold and play with. It’s a shame that he doesn’t remember that much since he’s spent a good few nights pining after Eren and imagining what he might look like when coming undone.

Fantasies aside, now that he’s actually done the unthinkable with his roommate, he’ll probably have to deal with the aftermath. His limbs feel so heavy as he stumbles up from the bed and retrieves his clothes from where they’re scattered around the floor, taking an excessively long time dressing himself. Each second that he spends fiddling with his zipper means more time before he’ll have to knock on that bathroom door and face the consequences.

Feeling nervous is fucking stupid, Levi tries to tell himself. They’d shared an apartment for, what, almost a year now? How much could one drunken hookup really change?

Okay, to be fair, it’s not really just last night that has him so antsy. It’s the fact that Eren’s been consistently occupying his thoughts for the last year or so and it’s gotten to the point where it’s kinda hard to function whenever he happens to be in the same room with Levi because his damn puppy dog eyes and blindingly bright smile make Levi trip over his words like a teenager.

Luckily there’s a sturdy bathroom door between them now or Levi’s sure he’d be unable to form any words. “Hey. Eren,” he calls out as he knocks on the door and receives a faint gurling noise in response.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Eren eventually mumbles. “I feel awful.”

“Yeah,” Levi agrees, though he’s not sure if it’s the same kind of awful they’re feeling. He has to clear his throat a few times before he gets out the next words, and even then they sound a bit feeble. “Are you coming out? We need to talk.”

Eren gives a dry laugh. “Coming out. Get it?” There’s a moment of silence during which Levi stares blankly at the wooden surface. “It’s a gay joke. Which I probably am right now. Gay, that is.”

“Okay, yeah,” Levi starts off. As someone who’s been through that initial panic years ago, he can’t exactly claim to relate to Eren. “Do you think you’ll be done throwing up soon?”

“I don’t know, I feel really queasy.” Maybe he’s just imagining it, but he thinks he hears Eren give a faint sniffle. “What if…” There’s a heavy pause and he can all but feel the hysteria emanating from the other side of the door. “I’m pregnant. Fuck, did we use a condom?”

Out of all the things he would’ve expected to hear, that is probably the dumbest one. “First of all, it doesn’t happen that quickly,” Levi sighs as he leains his forehead on to the door. His crush is an idiot. A lovable idiot at that, but still an idiot. “Second, I think we did. There’s about five used ones laying around on the floor. I counted.”

“Five?” Eren echoes, voice rising just a bit. “No wonder I can barely walk.”

“Third, and I can’t believe I’m the one who has to break this to you,” Levi goes on, ignoring the interruption, “it doesn’t work that way when you have two dicks. Our genitals are incompatible in that sense. You’re just hungover.”

“Well, they were compatiblating just fine last night, don’t you think?” Eren states in an almost mocking tone. Judging by the sounds, he’s moved to rinse off his mouth.

“That’s not even a word,” Levi points out, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly.

You’re not a word,” comes the genius rebuttal, and now Levi manages to even crack a smile. At least Eren’s still being his usual self.

They’re both quiet for a while, perhaps waiting for something. Eventually it’s Levi who breaks the silence.

“Do you hate me now?” he asks, not sure if he wants to know the answer.

Eren gives a sigh, and it sounds like he’s standing right by the door as well, maybe even leaning against it in a similar position. “I could never hate you,” he replies with just a touch of uncertainty in his voice. “I just… have no idea what to do.”

“How about you come out first?” Levi suggests, surprising even himself with how calm he sounds. “We’ll work it out. Together. If you want to, that is.”

“I do want,” Eren replies earnestly. “God, do I ever.”

“Come out then. It’s fine.” His hand curls over the doorhandle, holding on for support. “It’s just me.”

The sound of the lock snapping open from the inside echoes through the messy room, and while it’s only the beginning, Levi thinks that they’ll be alright.

((send me a thing and ill write the ereris man))

was a girl
i was the only kid in the world i thought i knew
what it meant to you
but im wrong
im wrong im wrong
im not okay
in fact im sick today im on the floor
its such a bore its
nothing new
to you
ill be downstairs let me do my hair
and put my make up on it feels so wrong
you say
“rock on”
im not the same

everybody loves you yeah
everybody wants you
your smile your teeth your hair
they dont know you’re not there

too fast too slow too late
you are never gonna make it

4

Hey Guys!

I had the chance to pop out to and catch up with a great friend of mine over the weekend, and took the chance to grab some photos of his fantastic Aquaponics system.

It is in fact two separate systems to allow for great opportunities for growth comparison and control.

This is a great system, so neat and tidy, clean, well thought out and presented and brilliant water quality!

The photos don’t do this system justice, its huge!

Well everybody, I know its been a little quiet at the moment, thanks very much for sticking with us, and a warm welcome to all our new followers! Its amazing!

I will have more for you again over the next few day! Stay tuned!!!

Regards to you all,

I saw the spoilers and now I’m crying and smiling at the same time
I don’t know what hurts the most:
-Ayato facing the killer of his mother in a battle he absolutely can’t win
-Kaneki and Hinami’s reunion
-Kaneki’s smile that says “I’ve been through hell and I don’t know if I’m back yet”
-Hinami’s honest to God surprise because I bet she already thought everybody had forgotten about her
-Hide’s expression in V14
-The fact that KANEKI REMEMBERED HIM

Mass Effect: The Illusive Man [INTJ]

UNOFFICIAL TYPING by orikon32 

Introverted Intuition (Ni): The Illusive Man strongly believes in his vision of humanity being a superior race in the galaxy and always works towards fulfilling that vision. He has many different projects in motion,all factoring (in one way or another) into helping humanity take “its rightful place in the galaxy”.
He is also a careful planner;always a step ahead of everybody else,and nobody knows his true intentions when dealing with him. He often sees symbolism in things and believes Cerberus to be a protector of humanity,despite the fact that everyone else sees it as merely a terrorist group. (“I’d expect you to say that. You never truly believed in us. Cerberus isn’t just an organization or the people behind it. Cerberus is an idea. That idea is not so easily destroyed.” - TIM)

Extroverted Thinking (Te): The Illusive Man believes that the end always justifies the means (“Judge us not by our methods, but by what we seek to accomplish.”). He is very organized,thorough,and calculated,and he has no issues with using whatever resources or methods he has at his disposal to accomplish his goals,no matter what price they may have. He also puts a lot of emphasis on being in control,especially when it comes to Reaper technology. 
(“If we can control it,why shouldn’t be ours?”). He will easily get angered if his plans fall apart (i.e. Shepard destroying the Collector Base instead of saving it) or if people disobey him due to their personal beliefs.

Introverted Feeling (Fi):

The Illusive Man never shows his emotions,as he puts them aside to get the job done. But despite his methods,he cares for humanity (so he devotes most of his life to securing its preservation and dominance). Loyalty is also important to him,so he will give important or sensitive tasks only to people he knows he can fully trust and who won’t betray him.

Extroverted Sensing (Se): Before founding Cerberus,the Illusive Man was a mercenary,and briefly fought the Turians in The First Contact War. And even though he doesn’t usually travel beyond his HQ at the Cronos Station,he does show slight interest in sensory experiences (i.e. being tempted to go with Shepard beyond the Omega 4 Relay).