I wanted to make a statement, and I want that statement to be empowering towards women. And I want to inspire other women. For someone who’s had body image issues since they were a child, I went from hating every inch of my body to showing every inch of my body to the entire world and without touching up anything. I wouldn’t have done that six months ago, because I didn’t have the confidence that I do today. A lot of times I get frustrated because people will, without my consent, Photoshop my body and it doesn’t look like my own body. Like, no no no, my thighs are bigger than that, can you put them back to the way they were? I’ve literally done that before where I’m like, ‘No, put my legs back on me. Those aren’t my legs.“ x

You are a raging fire
that’s blazed through me,
destroying everything
that I kept within.

Memories of those before
you, lessons on the
folly of love, decades
of common sense, all
reduced to smoldering ash.

I stand dazed, bareley
drawing breath. I am the
still popping, crackling
shambles of a man, left
bewildered in your wake.

I am singed … in agony
My clothes, my skin, every
hair on my body, you are
a smokey ubiquity that will
permeate me to my last day.

See the reason I hate stuff like this and I’m harsh on it isn’t the first part. That part is fine.

It’s the part here at the bottom because it is COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

You are the size you are because you input more calories than you burn. Plain and simple, there is no other excuse. I do in fact know exactly why you are that size and it’s an issue of your self control and I can in fact judge you on it if I want.

“Body positivity” seems to go hand and hand with denial and bullshit excuses/removing the blame and that’s what I take issue with.

Akafuri sick fic~

Hey guys Nuin did a thing and wrote a fanfic for Akafuri and its amazing I hope you enjoy it~

*Buzz… Buzz*

The vibrations caused the teen to turn onto his side, sniffling as he did so.

“Five more minutes” The boy moaned hoarsely,  his eyes remaining firmly shut as light rays of the early morning sun bombarded them. Adjusting to the annoyance Seirin’s 1st year point guard began to breathe heavily once more as he drifted back into a peaceful slumber.


Kōki shifted once again. It had only been two minutes, who wanted his attention that badly. Furihata  tried to prop himself up using his elbows, he soon paused as his body tensed. Every muscle and joint in his body was aching, it wasn’t a foreign feeling but the team hadn’t been doing anything too intense training wise. Placing a hand to the back of his neck, Kōki  became aware of the radiating heat of his skin along with the dull pain in his throat and head. Groaning, Kōki flopped back down, pulling at the covers lazily in search for the cause of the vibrations. Finding the device he flipped it open allowing the bright screen to blind him.

Two New Messages took up the centre of the screen and was the only legible thing to half asleep hazel eyes.

Unlocking the phone and clicking into messages, Kōki’s heart skipped beats. One new message from Riko and one from Seijuro. Clicking into Riko’s message Furihata cried internally.

Hey Furihata,

Just a reminder we’re having a 1st year vs. 2nd year match today @ 2. Be there on time or I’ll triple your training as soon as we’re back from holidays.

Riko (^.^)

“Ughhh *hack* *cough*”  The boy curled in on himself a violent coughing fit wracked through his body. Lying back on the bed, Kōki allowed himself a moment to breathe normally before returning his focus to his phone. He couldn’t help but allow a smile to grace his unusually pale face.

Good morning, my Kōki.

Was it ridiculous that stuff as small as that made the brunette blush?

Morning Seijuro. I can’t wait to see you. Where will we meet?

Just as he finished the message Kōki hastily pulled himself out of bed. This was the one weekend he couldn’t afford to be ill. He promised to meet Seijuro for lunch at 12, followed by the match against the second years and then spending the rest of the long weekend at the Akashi townhouse.  In hindsight, the point guard should have cancelled everything but it had been a month since he last saw the Rakuzen captain and if he was “well” enough to meet Seijuro he was “well” enough to play a game of basketball.  

Giving in to his desire to see Seijuro, Furihata made his way to the bathroom, using various pieces of furniture to keep himself from falling as the room seemed to sway. By the time Kōki  made his way into the bathroom he felt physically ill. Propping himself up with the sink, he waited for everything to calm and dissipate.

As the nausea subsided Koki opened the shower door making the small step to reach in and turn the knob  allowing cold water to crash against his arm. Pulling the white t-shirt over his head, Furihata noticed the pain even affected his skin. Removing his blue and red checked boxers Koki stepped into the shower. As the water hit his upper back the boy sighed in relief.

The soothing heat of the shower relieved a lot of the symptoms of the suspected flu, the aches, though still present were considerably reduced and the congestion in his nose was, for the most part gone. In light of this Kōki smiled, if he took some Tylenol perhaps he would make it through the weekend. Checking the time on his phone, Kōki found a new message from Seijuro.

I can’t wait to see you as well. How about at the park?

Furihata replied immediately.

Sure, sounds good. See you then

The teen picked up his pace putting on a fresh pair of boxers, a blue and white striped t-shirt and a pair of beige chinos.

Moving into the kitchen, Furihata shoved some bread into the toaster and set out pulling the kitchen apart to find some Tylenol or Advil, anything. Finding the little box hidden in a small white container amongst bandages and various other over the counter treatments. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, Kōki washed down the pills, gagging as he did so.  

Seijuro read over the texts several times. It was only a tiny detail but a detail he found very odd. Kōki was notorious for sending smilies and the fact that neither of the morning’s messages contained them was unusual. Closing the phone, the redhead decided to let it slide, perhaps his boyfriend was just in a hurry to get everything done before he left the house. He was sure there was a logical explanation.

Kōki smiled brightly as he caught sight of Seijuro.

“Hey Sei!” He called watching the Rakuzen captain smile back made his heart flutter and his palms sweat slightly, or was that the flu, could be the flu.

“Hello Kōki.” Heterochromatic eyes seemed to analyse everything about the brunette causing him to squirm under their gaze. He couldn’t possibly know, could he?

“You’re paler, Kōki”

“ Oh, really? I must be losing my summer glow.”  heart racing, Kōki  prayed internally that he’d get away with it.

Seijuro smiled lightly.

“I see” Rakuzen’s point guard wasn’t buying it for a second. He’d be keeping a close eye on the chihuahua.

Kōki heart was racing everyone was giving it their all for this match, not surprising. Usually he found it relatively hard to keep pace but today it was impossible. Sweat rolled out of him ten fold as he tried to match the speed of everyone else.

The final moments would ultimately be his undoing. The room began once more to sway, his stomach lurched and the room felt like ice. He could hear his team mates call for him but it was distant.  Black spots began to cloud his vision.

“Kōki!” That voice, what was he doing here? Furihata turned to see Seijuro running towards him when his body decided it had taken enough torture for one day as the darkness took over.

“Kōki?” The teen allowed his eyes to flutter but not open. His body ached as cold sweats ran through him.

“Ngh, what happened?”

“You collapsed, Kōki.” The words made him bolt upright, eyes wide.

“I’m so.” A wave of nausea caused him to stop and fall back into a lying position.

“Take it slow.” The voice soothed. Looking up the point guard almost went into cardiac arrest.

“Seijuro?”  He wouldn’t believe it if it wasn’t for the hand Akashi laid upon his forehead.

“You’re running a serious fever, Kōki. What on earth were you thinking playing in this state?”

“I-I” he couldn’t exactly explain his morning haze where he had come to the decision. He’d sound ridiculous.

“I didn’t want to spoil everyone’s plans.” He felt so stupid, causing everyone to worry all because he made a poor decision. He looked up expecting everyone to be mad but instead they all looked worried.

“Kōki, no one is going to be annoyed if you’re unwell. Please don’t ever feel you have to put our desires before your health.” The emperor’s eyes pierced straight through the brunette.

“I’m sorry, Sei…”The brunette was cut off by a tender kiss.

“Perhaps we should get you home.”

Day 169: Sick Day

Another Secret Santa gift! Scout’s not feeling well. What’s a guy gotta do to get some sympathy.

Scout felt another shiver run down his spine as he pulled the covers even tighter around him. Every bit of his body ached, and whatever that green goop was that Medic had given him wasn’t doing jack all to help. On the bright side, he’d quit throwing up. Even if it was only because there wasn’t anything left in his stomach.

Whatever it was that had been running through the BLU team since they’d arrived at Coldfront was vicious and hit out of nowhere. They hadn’t been installed two days before Engineer was down, followed shortly after by Pyro. And Scout didn’t even want to think about what it was like to be barfing when you wore a full face mask all day.

He’d found it funny at first; those big bad mercenaries who couldn’t handle a little cold.

Then it hit him like a freight train.

And on super spicy loco hot taco night. Man, those things were bad coming back up. The BONK! was even worse.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i understand if you suffer from gender dysphoria but calling the feminine body "disgusting" is disgusting

sorry for the misintepretation. i just find it disgusting for myself. didnt mean to call every feminine body disgusting

anonymous asked:

So do you really believe in that astrological sign stuff? Like I just don't understand, how does tha day you were born effect you at all, especially when it comes to being compatible with others, just seems like crazy bullshit.

bc it relates to what stars & planets where in what positions at the time you were born. we are floating in space (not actually cuz we’re in a solar system & galaxy & supercluster of galaxies, etc. but you know what I mean) and every atom in your body was formed by stars fusing hydrogen, helium, carbon, oxygen… & by those stars exploding in a supernova & dispersing those elements and also creating more complex atoms in supernovae. as someone who has studied a lot of astronomy, it makes sense that astrology & the stars and planets around us impact us. think about the moon & how it creates the tides on earth and also makes people crazy when there’s a full moon. of course it impacts our lives!
also, we have more than one sign. the sign you’re told you have is your sun sign. i thought astrology was a lot of bullshit because im a leo & leos are supposed to be leaders. i have a lot of traits of a leo but im shy & not a leader. but then i learned about my other signs, my rising sign in particular..which is cancer..& it makes more sense why im the way i am. i also think a lot of people exhibit the traits of their sign..& no one really fits all the qualities of their sun sign because they have a rising sign, moon sign, mercury sign, etc & those all play a role in who you are. i believe this shit because all of my signs describe me perfectly but i can understand why a lot of people don’t :)

High School Idol {JK} (Chapter 6)

Every part of my body was itching to hit him.

He was cocky, cute, and freaking bipolar.

I used to live in America, I’ve met tons of assholes before, but NEVER have I ever met anyone so annoying before.

I got out of my seat, collecting the stuff off my desk.

Sighing, I exited my classroom.

“Choco!” My name was called from the crowded hallway.

I turned to my left to see Tia walking towards me. “So how’d it go? Did it get better? Did you guys actually talk?” she went straight into questioning me.

Be warned I was annoyed at the moment.

“Does it matter?!” I snapped, “Whether we talked or not at the end of the day Jeon Jungkook is nothing but an asshole!” I yelled.

Everyone in the hallway paused as they looked at me.

“What did you say about Jungkook?”

I gulped.

Tell me everyone didn’t hear that.

Someone from within the crowd approached me.

It was none other then Minah.

“I said what did you say about Jungkook?” she said stepping close to me.

I bit my bottom lip before throwing a ‘I’m screwed’ glance to Tia, she shrugged giving me the same look back.

“I dare you say it again.” She glared down at me. My eye twitched as the thought of her over powering me processed.

I didn’t like to be over powered. No I liked to be in control.

I swallowed my pride, building up a bit of courage.

“I said, Jeon Jungkook is nothing but an asshole.” I told her as I straightened my back so that I didn’t look dominated, or scared.

Everyone was surprised by this manner.

“Oh you are so dead.” Minah stated but before anything could happen, my wrist was grab. It all happened really quickly too.

Someone from the crowd grabbed my wrist, I reacted by grabbing Tia’s hand, and thus the both of us were dragged quickly through the crowd and down a hall.

When we finally got far enough from the scene the person dragging us, literally, stopped.

The person stood, back turned, in front of both Tia and I. It was a guy, he was crouched over on his knees breathing in air.

The back of his head looked familiar, but I could tell he wasn’t a student from this school, he didn’t have on the mandatory uniform.

As the guy stood up, he turned around to us.

I put a hand over my mouth star struck.

“Are you girls Okay?” He asked.

“Y-y-you’re-” Tia could barley finish her sentence.

“Hi, I’m Jimin, Park Jimin. From BTS… I’m guessing you know me.” He smiled as he scratched the back of his head.

“Y-yeah w-we do.” I stuttered.

Jimin was my 2nd BTS bias, seeing as he wasn’t glaring at me, like Jungkook had, I felt the need to want to faint.

“That’s good.” He chuckled.

“B-but what are you doing here… And whyd you… Grab us?” I asked still in shock.

Jimin smirked. “Well it’s a long story.” He stated.

Tia and I both nodded for him to continue.

“Okay well. I’m actually here looking for Jungkook. Not just me, but the other boys are too-”

“Wait, wait, wait BTS is at our school?!” Tia cut him off as she looked at him shocked.

Jimin and I both gave her a really look, but she quieted down and then Jimin continued.

“As I was saying. The boys and I came for Jungkook, however, I’m the only one who volunteered to go inside the school, because I wanted to see what his high school life is like, and the students here.

While I was looking for Jungkook, I heard someone, who I found out was you, shout his name. So I assumed maybe whoever it was would either be with him, or know where he was.

When I was approaching the area I noticed a big crowd form around, and I couldn’t push my way through to see what’s up. But I kinda jumped up and down, and was able to see bits, and parts of the action.

I also heard people whisper about how you were his sitting partner. After hearing that I just decided if I could grab you quickly, maybe then you could tell me where Jungkook was or if you seen him. Plus I’d also wanted to meet his classmates, and his seating partner.”

Jimin smiled at me, and I could feel my cheeks blush hard, if that was even possible for me.

“Oh…Umm….Hi then… I’m Ch-Choco, Jungkooks partner.” I smiled while bowing a bit to him.

Tia who had been standing beside me elbowed me.

“Oh and this is my friend Tia.” Tia elbowed me again, “I mean best friend.” I stated with a forced smile.

Jimin laughed. “Nice to meet you both, Choco and Tia.”

I could feel my organs fangirl.

Jimin chuckled again at the sights of our faces. His cheeks were plump, and he had a black beanie on only a few of his black hair sticking out on his forehead, but God was his eye smile gold.

I felt like pinching his cheeks, I really had to hold both of my hands together to restrain myself.

“So Choco, you’re Jungkooks partner right.” He asked me.

At the mention of Jungkooks name my eye twitched. “Yes, you’re correct.” I said

“Well have you seen him?” He asked me.

I glared at nothing but air. “No I haven’t seen him since the bell.” I almost said it bitterly, but I kept myself from sounding like someone who wanted to kill him.

“You hate Jungkook don’t you?” He asked, and I took a sharp breath.

How’d he know? Does this mean he’ll hate me too? Oh no no no no no.

“It’s okay. I’m not gonna hate you, but I will tell you this, he can be a prick, asshole, rude, mean, and sometimes annoying, but… Hang in there, he’s not as bad as you think.” Jimin smiled at me.

I nodded a bit confused on how well he was able to read me.

“Well I have to go and try to find Kookie, see you around Choco… And Tia.” He smiled and waved at us both before walking away.

When he was about as far as he could possibly be Tia finally spoke up.

“Did we just meet Jimin from Bangtan…?” she said confused.

“Yup…” I said just as mind blown as she was.

After about a minute or so she turned to me.

“What was with all that shouting?” she asked me, I sighed.

Time to tell her another long story.

Tia stared at me blankly.

I had told her every detail I could remember. Which was pretty much everything.

“Wow…” She finally said, and I nodded.

“I can see why you’re mad.” She added, and I nodded again.

“I don’t get him, one second he hates me, and then next second he’s being friendly, then he’s right back to being an asshole.” I sighed.

“Maybe, and just maybe… He likes you.” She told me.

There was a long silent pause as both Tia, and I played the idea in our heads.

We both looked at each other, and then began laughing.

“Nawh!” her and I said at the same time while laughing to ourselves.

“But on a much serious note, getting away from the topic of Jungkook,” Tia said sobbering up.

“You and Sojo, eh, eh…” She smirked.

I glared at her.

“What’s up with you and shipping me with someone? Aigo, why don’t I start your ship hmm? Taecia?” I said referring to her all-star crush on BTS’s Taehyung.

Her eyes glared at me “What are you going on about?” she asked me.

“Well since I know Jungkook… Who is in Bangtan, and you like Taehyung, who is also in Bangtan, I was just thinking-” Tia cut me off.

“How about you stop thinking, I can already see where you’re going with this and no.” She stated firmly.

I smirked “Okay.” I said simply pretending to drop it.

I turned around to begin walking. “What do you mean Okay?” Tia asked confusedly as she began following me.

“Okay as in Okay. If you say no, then Okay.”

“No. One like you does not just say OKAY… What are you up to?” she questioned me.

I flipped my hair. “Well I did… So hush and be happy.”

I smirked again, my mind was full of 'cupid’ like plans.

Tia sighed dropping the subject. “Anyway… Are we still going to go to your house?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

At that I groaned. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. I groaned louder realizing we only had 25 minutes left of our break.

“We don’t have tiiiiiime!” I complained.

Tia sighed, “Damn and I was really hungry and your unnie makes some good ass food.”

I groaned again thinking about the delicious kimchi she probably made.

“I hate Jungkoooooooooook!” I whined in the empty halls.

Last night I had the best luck to come across a beautiful, gentle, smart, kind man named Santiago who looks a spitting image of Javier Bardem (Australian, but half Spanish and half Samoan). Santiago is in town only for the next three weeks until he goes to Canada to start as a producer for a hit TV show about zombies. We hit it off immediately, and ended up back at my place. When we got to bed, he undressed me and ravaged me - eating me out for hours, kissing and licking and sucking every part of my body and making me climax several
times. Each time I was sure I couldn’t take any more but for hours we explored each other’s bodies and fucked passionately and came again, and again, and again. He would suck the taste of me from his fingers after being inside me and tell me how good I taste and what an amazing, sexy, beautiful woman I am and why hadn’t we crossed paths before? We slept only briefly, interspersing with more delicious exploration, unable to keep the distraction at bay for more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. This morning he had asked me once more if I wouldn’t mind if he buried his head once more in my pussy, if I don’t mind of course. I happily obliged and after blissful head, he lay down and sat me on his hard cock, moving my weight up and down powerfully until I could feel once more that familiar ascension to orgasm. I felt a warm liquid seeping out around my thighs and on to his stomach, and we looked down to see I had squirted (for the first time) everywhere. He doted on my artwork and my book collection and art prints and probed me for my life story. Together we expressed amazement at the night that was had, and promised to see each other again soon and enjoy the small time we have before he departs. It is a shame, as I think he could have really been something special. The life I live… Haha.

Feeling good about my body and have been eating right. Just had a bunch of pasta since that’s left in the apartment. I try on these jeans since I put together my outfit the day before I go somewhere. Helps me not stress about what to wear on that day which it helps me. Though the jeans are VERY tight and I’m worried I’m gaining weight. I can’t exercise anymore cause literally every exercise hurts my body and even walking hurts. No excuses I’m in love with fitness & sports I just don’t want my body to hurt and want to get better. I don’t want to loose extreme weight nor want to become overweight ,(can’t afford new clothes & I personally don’t want to). I want to be at a healthy weight where I fit into my jeans ,(which are a reasonable size it’s not like I’m trying to fit into teen clothes) and be healthy. Though is it bad to want to loose weight when you’ve nearly recovered from bulimia? You don’t want to be super skinny just want to fit in my jeans so I don’t have to buy new ones and not suffer mega dysphoria from having bigger hips/thighs? My worth isn’t based on the scale, if I fit into jeans, how I look or that stuff I know. I just have been eating my emotions & eating out of boredom not being able to workout gaining weight which really isn’t floating with my boat. Idk how much you’re suppose to eat when pretty much bedridden and can’t workout. Can anyone please please give me advice I need help. #transman #gayman #transgender #gay #lgbt #transguy #gayguy #fitness #health #weight #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #dysphoria #mentalhealth #weightgain #emotionaleating #boredeating #help

February 5, 2016

It’s my last night of my first year of adulthood. I’m sitting in a bubble bath listening to Ray LaMontagne talking to my amazing boyfriend. There’s a candle lit next to me and every muscle in my body is relaxed. Last night I asked someone on a date for the first time and they said yes. More importantly than all of this though? I feel good. I haven’t cut in what feels like a year. My nightmares are becoming fewer and further between. I’m going into my second semester of college and I recently turned in my nursing application for PLU which I feel somewhat confident about. I’m eating relatively regularly, I’ve taken my health into my own hands and simultaneously allowed people close enough to help me. My relationship with my mom, while not perfect, is a lot closer than it’s ever been. I’ve learned to cut toxic people out of my life even if I want them here. I’ve done personal work and found myself in my gender identity and romantic/sexual preferences. I feel more confident in my body than I have ever felt and even though I’m not where I want to be I know I’m getting there. I have an amazing group of friends that support me and love me for me not for some version of me that I made up to fit in. I’m closer than ever to my perfect match and we’ve never been happier. Life isn’t perfect, but I’m working on it. And you know what? I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of the feminine me, the masculine me, and the me everywhere in between. I’m proud of myself on the days I can’t eat at all and the ones that I don’t stop. I’m proud of myself for the days that cutting seems like the only way and for not breaking. I’m proud of myself because I’ve done a lot of work on myself this year. I’ve done a lot of picking myself up and dusting myself off, of getting back on the horse and of working my ass off to get what I need done. So here’s to another year, and many more to come. And thanks to everyone who’s a part of my life.