every time i think about it i want to burst into happy tears

ok you know that ‘make the princess laugh and you can have her hand in marriage’ thing?

imagine so many come in.

they try, so hard, to make her laugh.

she just sits there, morose, ignoring every man who tries to coax a smile.

one day she’s sitting on the balcony. she just looks so sad.

of course that little thief tries to make her smile.

a girl who goes through the (semi public) royal gardens every day to pick flowers, even though technically only the royal family is allowed to do that. 

she sees the princess while she’s picking them up to sell on the streets, and she’s just… so sad. this princess needs someone to cheer her up.

and she tries. she’ll do silly dances when she comes in, she’ll bring up frogs from ponds and act out comedies, she’ll make flower crowns and exaggerate just how hard it is.

the first few days, the princess doesn’t even look at her.

then she starts noticing. this girl, trying so hard to cheer her up. she probably hasn’t even heard of the hand in marriage thing, she doesn’t know she’s trying so hard for nothing.

but she does it anyway.

one day, the princess starts talking to her as she does these things. “You do know that it’s useless?”

“What?” the thief says. “No way! I’m going to get you to laugh!”

“The best jesters in the kingdom have tried, don’t bother,” the princess declared pessimistically, staring down at the girl.

Then the thief puffs out her chest, “Of course I am! I’ll find the best jokes, even better than the jesters have found! I’ll… fight a fire breathing dog for them!”

There’s no laugh, but the corner of the princess’s mouth twitches. it’s sad how she thinks she can make me laugh…

the girl keeps trying, for years, making more silly stories and trading flowers for jokes rather than food or money. the princess slowly realizes the girl is getting closer and closer, asking her for responses in knock knock jokes and encouraging her to speak when she wouldn’t respond immediately.

the princess eventually had the girl hanging from her balcony, holding on tight to the rail and feet wedged between the columns, grinning and telling yet another iteration of that already old chicken joke.

the princess has been smiling, slightly, but she mostly just looks unresponsive. the girl is happy, it’s better than looking so sad, like she had been years before.

the girl moves on to puns, pointing at the exotic lunch the princess was eating. “Why do the melons have to go to get married? They cantaloupe!”

“You only know that word because of me,” the princess snarks, but there’s a small smile there, a bit of happiness. This little flower girl, this thief has grown into an amazing friend, a wonderful person who genuinely just wants to help. she doesn’t know of the deal, only nobles and jesters could know, not the commonfolk.

“Well, it makes quite the pun,” the girl says, proud of her joke. a smile! what an accomplishment!

“Say…” she continued, “What would you call a princess who got swept up in conversation a thief?” she pulled a flower out of her pocket, waving it in front of the princess’s face. the princess’s eyes crossed to see the flower before they rolled at the obvious setup.

though, it was interesting that it obviously involved them.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, sighing in preparation for another horrible pun. “What?”

the girl grinned. “A pretty theft!” she exclaimed, ticking the flower against the princess’s nose.

the princess froze for a moment, stunned. she had been complimented a million times over, called graceful by etiquette instructors, been called beautiful by many a suitor, been called wonderful by her mother before… she stopped thinking about that. 

she had never been called pretty.

she burst into laughter at the commonplace compliment, as if she was some sort of milkmaid who had somehow grown up to be good looking! it was ridiculous, the notion, yet somehow it had her blushing all the same.

then she suddenly stopped, realizing what she’d done.

the flower thief was staring at her in amazement, a blush of her own speckling her cheeks. her flower tilted out from in front of the princess’s nose, as if it had it’s own amazement.

“Wow…” the girl breathed. she’d never heard something so beautiful in her life.

The princess was silent, knowing what she had just done. She had just laughed for the first time in years.

The girl may not have been aware of the arrangement, but she was quickly swept up in it. A maid had heard the laughter and burst in, to find the thief and the princess, caught up in each other’s eyes, reveling in what had just happened.

The wedding was beautiful, a flower filled affair, a wonderful nod to how it happened. The king was so happy to see his daughter with someone who made her smile for once, tearing up as they were wed.

The princess’s laugh was still incredibly rare. She still had a hard time smiling. But a well timed joke from the girl– no, her wife– and another flower that had a hidden meaning behind it, than maybe, maybe you would hear it.

After all, the princess had finally laughed with the one she loved.

Arranged Marriage

by reddit user Pippinacious

Where my family comes from, arranged marriages are still very much the norm. It’s really not what most people think when they hear “arranged marriage”; it’s more like going on a blind date set up by people (usually your parents) who know you, love you, and have your best interests at heart with a very clear endgame. My parents always said that my opinion would be the only one that mattered in the end and that I could say no to whoever they brought home, no questions asked. A love match also wasn’t entirely off the table, even if it wasn’t their ideal choice for me.

Keep reading

Is Nalu canon?

As crunchyroll finally released the last chapter I decided writing my opinion on it. I will make side comments but the main subject will be Nalu since many of you asked me if I think it is canon or not.


First of all we will be starting with the cover page, in which Mashima left some hidden clues.

where have we seen this before? That`s right. 

Natsu`s shirt, which is more manly is more in his style with one long sleeve and a shor one is matching to Lucy`s old outfit from x792. Mashima always made them matchy clothes, didnt matter it was a bracelet, the colors, or a whole outfit.

Moving on… we didn`t have much interaction between NaLu at Lucy`s party

Even so, Mashima brought us a little nostalgia on the good times when Lucy was always screaming at Natsu and he wasn’t bothered by it, morover acting like a child. They are supposed to be 28-29 here right? (excepting the time skip) They remained the same kids they were once.


I have to say that i am really proud of Lucy. She`s such a kind girl, she didn’t care if her novel made her rich or not, but she fullfilled one of her dreams. Isn’t that amazing? I am really proud of my baby ♥

Also I have to say I am happy Anna remained in her timeline. She already lost her parents and she finally has a relative.



There we have a little teasing from Gajeel and also from Mashima himself. 

Anna was the one who sent Natsu n this timeline, Anna made his scarf. He knew her since he was a little boy, he gave him the chill and he is admitting THIS is why he is always so relaxed being around Lucy. She has always been there for him, taking care of him and covering things for him. She was a good friend to him, his best friend and she grew in more.

Gajeel is teasing Natsu in here saying “ you liked her”

What could have Natsu say? “No? I disliked her?” No. Also Gajeel is shocked about his answer. He answered so relaxed and can you see that blushing Lucy? That`s right, she is blushing because Natsu somehow said he likes her. If he likes Anna, Lucy is alike to Anna, he likes Lucy too. so regarding the fact both Lucy and Anna have a similar smell, he is always so relaxed around Lucy, isn’t it the fact that your home has a certain smell, gives you a certain comfort? This is what Lucy is for him. His home. 

In this panel, Lucy is admitting herself she is jealous over Gajevy. Why is she jealous? Because Gajevy managed growing into a mature relationship, Gajeel became a man, while Natsu is still an immature little brat, but he is her brat. We will never see Natsu saying things like Gajeel “ The woman i fell for” “ I wished walking side by side with you” or something like this. No, Natsu has his own way to express his feelings. Let`s remember some of his lines “ I am going to save Lucy” “ Lay one finger on Lucy and I turn you to ashes”  “ Even if it’s just her head, Lucy is still Lucy “ “ From today on, you are mine” “Long time no see, Lucy” and so many others. There are different ways of saying “I love you” Its in your gestures and let’s remember how Natsu was affected by Future Lucy’s death and when they fought with August how he climbed over her to protect her. He is never going to let her die again.

Also Lucy is blushing so hard and is emarassed by the things Gajeel and Levy had done. She is not mature herself to do things a couple should be doing. She is still embarassed about this even if she is 19(or 28)


See? She had the same reaction as Wendy. A reaction a child would have when hearing things.


This doesnt have any link to Nalu but im posting it for gruvians and my gruvia heart


Finally you`ve got a hang of it Gray-sama. @giushia

Going back.

Mashima is giving a tease again. “ the pair im most” the pair. So there are pairings.


Even if they fought Zeref and he put them trough hell, look at her face. She knows that Zeref and Mavis had found their peace they are back being someone else. Her look is saying “ sadness but still happiness” Could this be the love she`s also dreaming of? Even if they had a tragic destiny, they found their way back to each other. 


she, herself is happy for everyone. Every single mage is happy including herself.

Now, let`s start with the Nalu Pages 

there you go, Mashima putting another old scene. “ This is my room” But remember the first time Natsu was in her room? She kicked him out. 


While now she made this cute face, she didnt kick them out and isn’t bothered by it anymore. Yet she still has to say something about it. A girl has to keep her dignity.

The love is in the gestures you do. How I said up. Natsu carried her home, took care of her. Its a little gesture, but what could had happen if he wasn’t there to carry her home while she passed out?

He took her home, he took care of her. He watched over her.


Now, that`s Lucy` way of complaining she will never walk down the aisle, she will never be a bride.

Yet, Natsu finds a way, an open door


“ You can walk out” You can walk out with HIM and join him in his job, like she has always done. Look at her face.He just gave her hope. 

THIS IS NATSU`S WAY OF SAYING “ I wanted to  walk side by side with you”. “ You can walk and take a job with us

Furthermore, she is remembering all the memories the two of them had together. She bursts in tears. 

And hugs him

She hugs him. He is the person who gave her everything. Without Natsu, Lucy would have still been the Heartfilia Princess. she should have married someone she didnt like, she wouldnt have achieved one of her dreams and she wouldnt have been in Fairy Tail. 

She is greatful for having him, for giving her everything she wished for and even if she was rich, he gave her what her parents and their money couldnt afford. Friends and family. Fairy Tail was her family, they had always protected her, they had always been there for her.


Yet, Natsu doesn’t know what to do. He doesnt  want to see her crying even if they are tears of joy. He just want to see her happy.


In these panels, I dont know if i can agree with the others or not, that a panel is missing. Seems it is missing something but at the same time not. Did he kiss her? Why is she so shocked? Or..he didnt kiss her, yet she said “ wait” if hereally didnt kiss her, then her “wait” was “ wait, I am not ready”.


But what are the things you did, Natsu? I dont think in this panel, Lucy is talking about her memories, but something he did.now.  He answers “ what does it matter?” I saw lots of movies and series where the boy, after he kissed the girl and she said something similar to what Lucy said he answered “ why does it matter”. So he really might have kissed her and let`s remember Mashima doesnt know how to draw proper kisses. So a panel could be missing up there because Mashima didnt want to ruin that haha 


They will always be togehter. They are going to a 100 years quest which is a lifetime. Natsu and Lucy will be together forever. Always and forever


My conclusion is that, in a subtle way than Gajevy`s or Gruvia, Nalu is canon and we can finally celebrate.

An Aquarius was throwing and making a mess in his own room after he found out that she, his girlfriend, had finally moved on without him. I looked as he cuss and threw away some of the mementos of her, and finally stopped when he found an old photo of them together at a photobooth. He sat down and started to burst into tears. “If only.. If only I told her everything, and hadn’t kept it all in, maybe she would’ve stayed..” he said through the tears.

An Aries looked through his twitter and found a picture of his ex with someone else, he let out a soft chuckle. “Oh shit..” he laughed, and slowly he stood up and continued to laugh. “Look at this. Look at her.. Oh, she’s.. she’s fucking hilarious.” He slowly started to laugh so hard, and I watched as he began to shake and slowly made his way to the balconey and started to scream about her, just screamed her name and called her names and how he hated her but finally he broke down and cried.

A Cancer started shaking and tries to grab his phone out of our reach. “Please, let me just call her..” we shook all our heads and told him to just stay put. He begged that it’ll be just for tonight. We told him that he has had enough, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to call her so bad, but the truth is.. she’s about to have her wedding in a week, and he was going to tell her he still loves her after all these years.

A Capricorn and I were out in mid-town late at night, and he had too much to drink. He sways as he walks, and suddenly one of Bryson Tiller’s songs played through one of the bars nearby and he let go of me and sang through the whole verse. He finally stopped and looked at me and said, “This shit, that’s me. I wished God would saved her for me. That’s it, and fuck.. I’m not really at my best at the moment, but I loved her.”

A Gemini breath out smoke after inhaling his cigarette and he looked at the city lights from our view. “I miss her..” was all he said, taking another inhale from his cigarette. He looked at me and gave me a small smile and back at view.

A Leo drank with me, and place an arm around my shoulders and said, “I shouldn’t drink too much. These crazy thoughts are hunting me again, and I just want to crush the world. Ha, oh she’s in my head. My ex, you know? She’s in here again and.. fuck! I hate her. I miss her. You know we’re talking again, right but just as "friends”? I want more than that..“ He gave me a small playful slap on the cheek and walked to get another drink. It’s going to be a long night.

A Libra rushed to her house, knocking at her apartment door. But it was locked. Ran back downstairs and started calling her name out her window, trying to get her attention. She finally opened the window and told him to leave. I watched from the car, as he asked for her forgiveness. She shook her head and said it was too late for him.

A Pisces admitted to me how he still thinks about his ex, and how he still calls out her name and how his mind would play memories of her every single day. He can’t stand the nights because his mind would play her, her voice, her smile, the way she would call him everyday and she was his rock. As he sits here with me, tears roll down his cheek and he said, "Now here I am still holding on to her, just waiting for a sign that maybe she’d come back, and maybe we can try again.. but also maybe she’s with someone else, who.. who treats her well than I could’ve had and.. I want her to be happy, I do, but I wish.. right now.. she could be happy with me, and I am so selfish for it..”

A Sagittarius once said that he used to think too much about the relationship and how every time he was with her he would start to overthink every scenario of how she would leave him, and he would tell her and she would shook her head and promised him she would never leave… and now that she’s gone he still can’t stop thinking about her..

A Scorpio said to me, “I’m just not too sure if I could ever ask her to come back. I really messed up, you know? I could try, but would she ever give me another chance to prove to her my real worth? Can she really do that..?” I was a little loss for words. Knowing Scoprio and how he is, he seemed to be really serious about her. I just didn’t know what to say.

A Taurus and I passed by a coffee shop and he paused and peered through and saw his ex with someone else, and she’s laughing and holding this man’s hand. He gritted his teeth and his fist clenched. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him to let it go. It’s been years since they’ve together and been a two years after their break up. He slowly looked down in defeat and sighed. He walked off ahead of me..

A Virgo and I were driving out late one night around the city, and all the songs he played were just old, sad R&B music and I would watch him from time to time as he mumbled some of the lyrics to himself and would let out a small smirk when the singer goes and says, “I love you and miss you..” and he shook his head. We pulled up to a parking lot, and he got out and looked at me and said, “I do miss her, but do you think she misses me..?”

—  Regrets..
Zen X MC: Stay

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 3546

Author’s note: This one shot was inspired by @myetie and I was given permission to use the similar plot as her comic’s strip. This one shot is definitely different from how her comic will turn out..just saying. A really big thanks to myetie  for giving me permission.


The last thing you remembered was laughing, enjoying the breeze that blew against your hair, your arms tightly around Zen’s waist. The engine of the motorcycle making rumbling noises.

How did something so enjoyable turned into something so horrible? Bright lights shone into your eyes, the screeching of tires could be heard and all you could feel was pain when the impact hit.

You felt your body being thrown off the motorcycle, your head hitting the road, blurry images filled your vision until it became completely dark. A few minutes later, when the police had arrived because of the accident, Zen awoke from his unconscious state, it was the sound of the sirens and the blinking of the red and blue lights that brought him back into consciousness.

“Mc ?” He murmured, trying to sit up but the pain in his shoulder held him down as he clutched it in pain. His mind started to registered what had happen and his only concern was for you. “Mc ? MC!” He yelled when he sees a figure lying on the ground.

Zen sees your injured body lying unconscious on the ground, your hair lying on messily around you, but what made his heart clenched the most was seeing your legs twisted in such a horrific angle.

“No,no,no,no! MC?!” Blood was visible on your body and all he wanted was to turn back the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week had past while you still remained in the hospital. Jaehee,Jumin, Saeyoung, Yoosung, V, had all been visiting you, talking to, trying to comfort you, entertain you, whatever the reason they visited for, you always welcomed their presence.

Their visits comforted the fact that you were paralyzed and could no longer walk, or run, or used you legs in general.

“Could you imagine it? I mean, that hacker was so stupid to not put up a firewall to protect his location, so I easily traced him through his IP address and I found him!” Saeyoung burst out into laughter and you chuckled.

There was a knock on the door and both your attention was diverted to the hospital door.

“I brought food.” Jumin entered and you greeted with a smile.

“Hello, Jumin.” “Food and wine! Food and wine! Food and wine!” Saeyoung started chanting.

“The wine is mine.” Saeyoung’s face fell at Jumin’s comment.

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you this, but you don’t need to worry about Zen that much, He’s going to come around soon, let’s just give him a little time.” Saeyoung turned to you, sending you a reassuring wink.

“Oh,um..about that person…” You began, seeming a bit nervous.

“I,uh, never asked because I thought you were just talking about a friend or something….but you guys seemed to keep mentioning him a lot.” Your fingers clutched the blanket.

“Who is Zen?” That question made Saeyoung and Zen froze. Over the time you had been in the hospital, all of them had been constantly bringing up Zen, but who was Zen?

You couldn’t remembered and just assumed he was friend. Breaking the silence, Jumin’s phone rang and he excused himself from the room to take the call.

“Well, um, I think that is for you to find out later, just…” Saeyoung paused awkwardly. “Just try to remember.” He smiled but there was pity held in his eyes.

You didn’t push the matter, seeing how uncomfortable it made him. Meanwhile, Jumin answers his phone, the caller ID letting him know who was the one calling him.

“Zen?”

“Jumin, I need to ask a favor.” Out of all the time Jumin and known Zen,he had never heard Zen so broken.

“Where are you? The hospital said you refused further treatment and just left? I’ve been trying to contact you for the past week.” Jumin bombarded him with questions.

“Please, Jumin, hear me out.” Zen pleaded.

“Zen, MC needs you, are you really not going to visit her? What you’re doing is absurd.”

“She doesn’t need me! She doesn’t! I…I…I’m too dangerous, Jumin? I..I ruined her life, I don’t deserve her.” He was shouting at the beginning but at the end, it sounded like a chocked whisper, and Jumin knew that he was crying.

“Zen, calm down first, you’re too emotional, do not make such rash decisions.” Jumin ran his fingers through his hair in slight frustration.

“It’s because of me she got into this accident, it’s because of me she can no longer use her legs. It’s because of me! Please Jumin, please take care of her, I beg you.” And that was when Zen hung up, his arm sliding down and hung at the side of the chair he was sitting on, the phone sliding off his hand, landing with a thump onto the floor.

“Mc, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry!” Zen clutched his hair, his head tilted towards the floor and he broke down.

Tears wetting the floor as it fell from his eyes. His body shook, whimpers of pain, emotional pain escapes his lips, he’s trying his hardest to keep it together but every time he pulls a piece of himself up, another falls.

He tried, he tried so hard to get to you but he could because of his arm, his damn arm, he just wanted to hold you and protected you then but now there’s nothing to hold or protect.

“Why?” His voice shaking.

“WHY?!WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!” He stood up and punched a wall repeatedly,sliding down against it, his knuckles now bloody as he rested his forehead against his knees.

“Why?” He whispered, his heart crumbling inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What will happen when Zen finds out?” Saeyoung asked, leaning on the wall while Jumin sat on one of the hospital beds. Jumin sighed, closing his eyes.

“He already knows.” Shock became evident on Saeyoung’s face, absorbing the new information.

“How?”

*flashback*

“I’m sorry, this is all my fault.” Zen muttered, his heart breaking just by looking at the state you were in.

“Um, you must’ve mistaken me for someone else.” You were in a state between consciousness and unconsciousness. Everything felt like a dream to you.

“You’re so handsome, are you an angel? Have you come to take me?” Tears watered his eyes when he became aware that you had forgotten him.

“I’m your angel, but I’m not here to take you, I’m just here to say goodbye.” He forced a smile onto his face, his tears wetting his cheeks.

“Goodbye? Can’t you stay a little longer?” “I’m afraid not.” He closed his eyes, his lips kissing your forehead.

“Goodbye MC.”

*flashback end*

Your encounter with Zen at the hospital, you couldn’t remember. Two weeks after your stay in the hospital, you were finally released.

A few days had past, your life went on as usual, the difference being that you were now using a wheelchair, despite everything seeming to be normal, you couldn’t help but feel like you’re missing something.

There was an empty void in your heart, and what frustrated you greatly was how you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. From trying new things to going through old things, you still couldn’t figure out.

There were things you couldn’t do due to being bound to the wheelchair so you couldn’t help but think that it might be something related to you walking or using your legs but yet, a quiet voice inside told you that wasn’t it.

Of course, being handicapped forever wasn’t easy, you felt helpless, useless, almost everything you did was a challenge and you felt like a burden to those helping you.

It was a struggle, it was extremely frustrating that you couldn’t use your legs, adding the frustration of that emptiness in your heart, you were struggling a lot, night was a time spent crying because of that frustration.

The perfect cover was put on every time, no one could see past that cover, to someone, you looked happy, so positive as if nothing could bring you down, smiles constantly on your face but the truth was that you were struggling every day.

Pushing your wheelchair down the streets, you stopped at a shop to get a bottle of water. You were prepared to pay for the bottle when you stopped at the magazine stand, seeing a few copies with the same face. Ignoring the words on the magazine, you picked it up, looking at the man shown in the cover.

Just then, you were pulled from reality as images flashed into your mind.

~~~~~~~

“Look MC, I’m on the cover of this magazine? You have to admit that I am good looking in this picture.” His red eyes shining brightly as he spoke to you.

“In that picture? Hmm, Zen, babe, I think you look better now than in that picture.” Laughter escapes your lips, your hands intertwined with his.

“Really? Mmmm, jagiya, you know just what to say.” He gives you an Eskimo kiss before kissing you on your lips.

“Hey! Get out of here! I’m trying to run a business!” The shop owner chased the two of you out and you both ran out laughing.

~~~~~~~~~

“Miss? Are you going to buy that?” You were pulled back into reality when the shop owner tapped you on your shoulder.

“Oh, no, just this water.” You paid the money and left. You were more than confused, what happened back there, was it a memory? Was that the Zen your friends had been mentioning previously? Why did you referred to each other as lovers? Was that just a fantasy? The questions swirled in your mind, your heart strings were being tugged at that thought.

Lately, you had been seeing that man in your dreams, small images flashing through your mind, but this was the first time you had called him Zen.

Was he something that was part of your life previously? You pushed that idea away, you felt that you were just an ordinary girl, why would you be associated with a rising star?

‘Maybe I was a fan of him? That’s why I’m having these fantasy?’ You thought, it was a possibility.

Meanwhile Zen was at a bar, downing the bitter alcohol down his throat, another hand holding a cigarette between his two fingers. He had been in this bar for two days in a row, drinking and smoking, he no longer logged into the RFA Chatroom and was hard to reach, Jumin, not only worried about you, but him too, forced Seven to find the location of where Zen is.

Climbing out of his limo, saying a quick thanks to Driver Kim, Jumin closed the door, his hands tucked in his pockets while he walked into the bar. He took a quick glance of the bar and immediately spotted Zen sitting at the counter, emptying the bottle of beer.

He took quick strides towards Zen and sat at the stool beside him. Zen, noticing the presence beside him, turned to the his side and saw Jumin. “What do you want?” Zen huffed, gulping down the rest of the alcohol.

“We’re going to talk. Outside.” Jumin gave Zen a look that meant he was all serious and not in the mood to be argued with.

“What do you want?” His breath reeked of alcohol and by the way he was standing, he was quite drunk.

“I made a promise to MC.” Jumin began.

~Jumin’s Flashback~

You had just been given a shot to reduce the pain, it also caused you to be unaware of whatever you were saying or doing, almost like you were drunk, including the part where you couldn’t remember the things you did or said.

“Jumin?” His attention was immediately directed towards you the moment you spoke. He hummed in response to show that he was listening.

“Do you think I’m becoming a deadweight?…..I’m useless like this, all of you are better off without me. I…I can’t remember a lot of things. I don’t even remember who I was before the accident.” You took a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears that were trying their hardest to escape.

“Zen…..maybe I was just pulling him down, m..maybe that’s why he left me. I’m…” Jumin was surprised, did you actually remember Zen after all? Your fingers clutched the hospital blankets tightly, you couldn’t help it as tears streamed down your face, waves of pain rolling deep into your heart.

“No. Don’t ever say that. Never say that. You are so precious to all of us, you are more than we deserve. I’ll bring Zen back, if it will set things right.” Jumin pulled you into a hug. “I promise you, MC.”

~Flashback End~

“You promised her that?” Zen says in disbelief.

“She remembers you, deep down she does. Right now, she may not remember you, but she still does, somewhere in her heart. You know what is the right thing to do, so do it.”

“The right thing to do? It doesn’t matter if she remembers me.” Zen’s anger was rising as he spoke, he grabbed Jumin’s suit, he was no longer leaning against the brick wall.

“I RUINED HER LIFE, SHE IS DISABLED BECAUSE OF ME. BECAUSE OF ME! THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO IS TO STAY AWAY FROM HER. I AM A DANGER IN HER LIFE!” Jumin clenched his fist and delivered a punch to his face.

“PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! You think that leaving her is the best option?! That you no longer would be a danger to her?! That you would no longer hurt her?! She thinks you left because she did something wrong, she thinks she’s a deadweight and she is suffering emotionally! Stop running away from your problems and start facing them! She needs you!” Zen remained on the floor, not saying anything as he listened to Jumin scold him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shaky breaths escapes your lips as you looked through your phone. You had been so focused on recovering that you had not have the chance to go through everything in your phone.

Pictures of you and Zen kissing, hugging, doing things that couples would do were in the favorites of your photo album.

By now, you had connected the pieces and figured that he is your boyfriend, or was. Scrolling through the texts between you and him, your lips trembled, tears wetting your cheeks.

“Did I do something wrong? Why didn’t he visit me?” You spoke to yourself while memories attacked your mind, memories of you and him. While the memories were returning to you, your head was hurting a lot.

You knew that only half your memories had returned due to the missing pieces when you tried to piece them together.


From: Zen To: MC Remember to take care of yourself, and eat a balanced meal okay? I’ll be at your house around 7 to pick you up. I love you and I can’t wait to see you!

That was the last text he had sent, all of his texts were filled with so much love, but where did all that love go? What happened to it?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night had arrived by the time you had half your memories returned and gone through your phone.

Out of all the memories, the one that stood out the most was when Zen first asked you to be his girlfriend under a cherry tree, he had a picnic laid out, lights hanging from the tree, it was romantic.

Thinking that going there might help you to remember more of the memories which you had lost, you made your way there.

You almost reached the tree when you felt your heart stopped, his back facing towards you was Zen, you immediately recognized him from his hair. He was touching the tree saying something that you couldn’t quite hear, you made you way closer to him but not too close.

“Zen.” He froze, slowly turning around to face you.

It was obvious that both of you had been crying.

“MC.” There was a moment of silence between the two of you before you spoke again.

“Why didn’t you visit me?” You remembered every detail of the accident, and you needed to know the truth, if you were the reason or if something else was the reason.

“You need to stay away from me MC, I can’t cause you harm again. I’m a danger to you.” He starts to back away but his facial expression showed that all he wanted to do is stay, but fear kept him from moving forward but backwards instead. Fear that he might harm you again.

“You don’t get to decide that for me. You don’t get to decide if you might cause me harm again, it was an accident, one caused by a drunk driver. You do realized that it isn’t your fault right?” You say as gently as possible, trying to keep your voice steady.

“It is my fault that you got into this accident. I knew that you didn’t like to ride on the motorcycle and I still made you ride it! It’s my fault that you no longer can walk! IT’S MY FAULT THAT YOUR LIFE IS RUINED! It’s best if you stay away MC.” He yells, his tears starts falling down and he turns around and starts to walk away.

“I NEED YOU!” You were desperate for him to stay, which explained why you yelled.

“Please don’t leave me! Hyun!” He stopped walking but he didn’t turn to face you.

“Who said my life is ruined? It’s only ruined without you in it. Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry! Is it because I’m handicapped? I promise to be better, I won’t be a burden to you! Just please, stay!” Were you not getting the point? Zen clenched his fists, he didn’t want you to think that it was your fault because it wasn’t.

His lips trembled as he heard the words escapes your lips.

“I’m sorry! Please don’t leave me again.” Your voice grew weaker as you no longer could hold back your tears as they came flooding down.

“I need you! Ever since I couldn’t walk, all I’ve been feeling is pain, frustration, emptiness. I…I’ve been searching for what was missing from my life the past few weeks and I know it’s you. P…please don’t leave me when I just found you.”

“You’re better off without me,MC.” He starts to walk again and you immediately try to stand up and go after him but your legs fails you and you hit the ground, a cry of pain leaving your lips. Zen turns around and his eyes widens when he sees you on the ground and runs towards you to help you up.

“I’M NOT! I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU! These past few weeks without you has been torture for me. Do you know what it’s like to constantly feel like you’re a burden to everyone around you? Do you know the frustrations of not being able to walk and constantly needing help? I needed someone to be there for me, someone to comfort me and encourage me. I NEEDED YOU HYUN! AND I STILL DO! I still need you!” He tries to help you back into your wheelchair but you clutched onto him, remaining on the ground, hugging him tightly.

Zen didn’t know what to do at that moment, he felt so conflicted.

“I’m dying emotionally, I can’t do this without you. Please don’t leave me.” You were shaking, though still not letting go of him. Zen looks at you and he feels another wave of tears coming but he does nothing to stop it.

He lets out a cry of pain as he broke down, letting every emotional pain that he had felt, out. He was sobbing hard, he had missed you so much, and being away from you was as good as death for him.

The two of you remained there in each other’s arms, letting every emotional pain out.

He pulled you closer to him, hugging you back, his chin resting on your head. Zen started to calm down, and he used his hands to wipe away his tears. “I’m sorry MC, I..I didn’t know. I thought it was better if you weren’t around me. I’m sorry.” He presses a kiss to your head.

“It’s..it’s not your fault, you know that right? P…Please tell me you do, because I…I don’t blame you, and I will never blame you.” Zen nods his head, his eyes squeezed shut,holding you tighter.

“I promise that I’ll never leave you again. I’ll be here if you ever need me.” He pulls away and one hand cups your face, his thumb wipes away your tears. He leans in closer until his lips touches yours, and at that very moment, every memory of him and you returns to you, but this time, there is no pain, only healing.

Sure, you were handicapped, you could not walk, but maybe now, it would not be as hard as it was back then, since Zen would be there with you each step of the way.

“Thank you.” You said to Zen and he begin pushing the wheelchair with you in it.

“Let’s go home MC.”

2

Secrets Out {Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4} {Part 5}

When you made your way to their dorm later that day with the hat that you had taken, you were nervous to say the least. You wanted to ignore that gut feeling you had yesterday. ‘I’m just being paranoid’ you said to yourself quietly ‘they’re my best friends they wouldn’t just do anything to jeopardize that’ you kept reassuring yourself.

When you got to their dorm. you placed the hat on the countertop closest to you and right away you heard whispers, you couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying but from the words you did hear, you knew it sounded somewhat serious? When you closed the front door to get their attention it immediately went quiet. You fought yourself so hard to not overthink it, you crossed it out of your mind. Gone and forgotten.

You walked in to where they were all sitting, and sat in between Jungkook and Jin, you didn’t know how to explain it but it felt different, the whole atmosphere changed, Jungkook felt uncomfortable around you and Namjoon seemed to have sat straighter when you sat down and you saw it. Remember that pit in your stomach from yesterday? Well it was back and deeper than ever, you wanted to bring it up but you couldn’t seem to find the words and there was an awkward silence before Taehyung stood up making everyone jump a bit. “hey y/n! Let’s go play video games!” “tae-” you couldn’t finish your sentence before Taehyung pulled you up and dragged you to the living room where all the video games were. Taehyung got your mind off everything happening around you, but those slight moments where you would look around to see Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi standing in the back whispering amongst themselves made you sink back into the depressing state where you question everything. Taehyung quickly picked up on your pauses and brought you back to the games. You felt him trying so hard to make you happy and get your mind off it, he knew about what was going on and he was trying to distract you?

Jimin came into the room being his giddy self but you felt it was forced. Was he forcing himself to be happy around you? why would he do that? Jungkook ignored you at almost all cost, something was eating at him and you were determined to find out what it was. What have they all been hiding? Usually you wouldn’t be afraid to speak up, ask them, but now it seemed as you were the source of the problem. You excused yourself to the bathroom to pick yourself up. when you came out, you must have been really quiet because none of the boys seemed to have heard you. Before you turned into the living room you heard voices you stayed behind the wall determined to find out what they were talking about, how you could fix it. “hyung I really can’t take this anymore every time I look at y/n I feel like crying” you recognized it as Jungkooks voice. “Jungkook you can’t say anything, she’ll be so hurt if we told her” a voice you heard as Namjoons said. “what we did was cruel and I’m also hurt we did that but why now Jungkook? Why suddenly after all this time you feel like you need to tell her now?” “Jin hyung please see where I’m coming from, I like y/n more than just a friend, but I can’t ask her out knowing what we did” Jungkook said he sounded as if he was so close to crying. “guys shut up y/n…” jimin said quietly. You’ve been spotted. You just stood there almost frozen. What have they done that was so bad? You’re going through all these years you’ve been friends with them in your mind. Wondering what has been happening behind your back.

They knew about your problems with trust and ‘friends’ in the past, they knew how you overthink everything, they knew about your anxiety, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. “y/n…I’m-” Jungkook mumbled. “I don’t know what you did or what it has to do with me but you better tell me… now!” you were angry. That pit in your stomach seemed to have dropped to your feet. Your mind racing with thoughts. “y/n I think you should sit down” Jin said softly following a mumbling in agreement from Jiimin, and Hoseok. You didn’t know what they did but you felt like crying again, you felt like your world was falling apart. Your surroundings turning dark. you sat down in front of them analyzing each of their faces.

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Namjoon looking like at any second they would burst out in tears more than you were, Jin and

Yoongi just look worried like they were thinking about what you were going to do and not having a conclusion. Hoseok is clearly upset with himself he looks like he’s mentally punching himself, he has that triangle mouth that appears when something is really upsetting him. What was going on? Why are they acting like this? What did I do? What happened? Can I fix this? Shit. You were breathing fast while not breathing at all. The silence was painful you were losing your patience. “well someone speak!” you said loudly making them all jump. You looked around once more and all of them seem to be either in tears or near tears. Jin took a deep breath, he grabbed your hand as if to make sure you won’t walk away. “y/n, we….”


A/N: ok so idk how much i like this and i feel like i rushed it and its getting to the problem too fast? idk but there is a lot i want to write that works with this so we’ll see a lot of you have been asking for a pt. 2 and i was so happy a lot of you liked it since it was my first time writing a series type thing, but I’m happy and thankful. i forgot to put the title of the story on the first part but i think ill be calling this series ‘Secrets Out’ what do y'all think? ok i hope you liked this part~ pt. 3? (ps i feel like the angst was weak with this one so I’m sorry)

Guys, I have so much to tell you about Will Roland

I may die penniless, unwed, and forgotten, but I will still die happy because I spent four hours of one long-ago summer in a song interpretation master class taught by Will Roland. 

I don’t even know where to BEGIN. To quote Rachel Bay Jones, Will…*bursts into laughter* oh my God, there’s so much Will.

Ramblings about Will Roland under the cut. This is my day with Will Roland.

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@taylor-tut tHIS IS SO LATE I’M SO SORRY MY FAB FRIENDO! But! It has finally arrived!! I’m sorry if it’s a bit crappy, I like haven’t slept in three days haha

anyhoo, onto the story:


Lance woke up with a sneeze.

He blinked his eyes open, immediately groaning at the light that pierced through his eyeballs and into his temples. He brought an arm up to shield his face, shivering slightly. Taking a deep breath, Lance conducted a mental survey of his condition, assessing his apparently numerous ailments that seem to have manifested overnight.

Congested sinuses that dissolved into a throbbing headache that pulsed outward with each movement? Check. 

Raw, sandpaper throat, and lungs that rattled with every inhale? Check.

The strange sensation of being completely, bone-numbingly cold despite the warmth and clamminess of his limbs? Checkerooni.

Conclusion: Today is gonna suck.

If Lance were to be perfectly honest with himself, he would concede that he had been feeling off these last couple days. Nevertheless, the team needed his 100% right now, and any wooziness he may have felt had to be put on the backburner. With several months having passed without any sign of Shiro, tensions within the castle were palpable.  Keith and Pidge seemed inches away from snapping at any given moment, Allura’s training schedule seemed to have been kicked up the several notches from “very harsh” to “dear god I can taste my own pulse”, and even Hunk and Coran seemed somewhat subdued. It was the least Lance could do to try and keep up, and make sure the other’s stayed optimistic. He was the joker, the sharpshooter - it was his role, no matter how taxing it could be on his own body.

Lance steeled himself, counting down from five, before swinging out of his bed, pausing to lean against the wall as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Once the tilt-a-whirl he usually called a bedroom settled to a soft swaying, Lance began to make his way down to the dining hall.

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Second Chances

Where you’re his ex-girlfriend and you see his new girlfriend wearing your t-shirt

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Masterlist linked in bio


Harry watches the wall clock as he waits patiently on his couch, counting the minutes until Y/n finally wakes up.

He’s barely slept all night, feeling a mix of anxiousness and misery as he thought of all the outcomes that could happen today. He also found himself looking at Y/n all night, watching her in her calmest state of mind and feeling a sense of tranquility as he sees her in her most beautiful form.

He could never get tired of it—admiring her in her sleep. But as the morning passed and the late afternoon started approaching, Harry didn’t know what the hell was going on.

She was still asleep, crashed on top of him as snores raided her mouth and the only movement being the slight rise and fall of her chest against his. He started to worry, solely for the fact that she slept at a completely reasonable time last night and was known to be an early riser. And since he barely got a blink of sleep, he knows she didn’t wake up for a second during the night.

Keep reading

married part 3- h.s imagine

part 1 

part 2


Niall opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it. You rolled your eyes as you stared at him from across the kitchen counter. Niall furrowed his eyebrows as he placed his hand on his chin. He shook his head and leaned against the counter. “Alright. Tell me again exactly what she said.”

You let out a sigh as you leaned your hands against the counter. “She basically told me to fuck off, Niall.” Niall shook his head and sat down on one of the bar stools. “I just can’t believe Kimberly would say something like that to you.” You sighed as you sat on the seat next to his. You leaned your head against your arm. “I can’t believe it either.”

“So did you tell Harry?” Niall asked. You shook your head, “No. And I’m not planning on telling him either. I can’t tell him that he married-”

“The wicked bitch of London?” Niall interrupted, lips quirking up in a smile. You let out a chuckle as you gently punched him in the arm. “I’m serious, Niall. It’ll break his heart knowing Kimberly’s capable of saying something like that to someone. Promise me you won’t tell him?” Niall shrugged his shoulders as he got up to grab something from the fridge. “I guess, Y/N. But he’ll find out eventually. What’s he gonna think when his best friend suddenly stops talking to him?”

You groaned as you placed your head on the counter. “It’s not like I was going to do anything to hurt the marriage. I respect Harry too much to ever jeopardize it. But now I feel like I did overstep my boundaries, that’s why Kimberly wants me out of the picture.”

Niall turned around from looking in the fridge, a bottle of water in his hands. “You did nothing wrong, Y/N. You’re Harry’s best friend. Just because he’s married, that’s never going to change. Kimberly’s just insecure that her marriage is in the runs.”

You rubbed your face with your hands, clearly exhausted of the situation. “Out of all the people I could’ve fell in love with, why Harry?” You let out a laugh at how ironic your life was. “I just had to be the stereotypical girl who falls in love with her best friend.”

Niall smiled, sitting back down next to you as he placed his arm around you. “Harry’s just a great guy. Every girl is bound to fall in love with him. At least you have the privilege of being his best friend?” Niall tried assuring you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. You leaned your head against Niall’s shoulder and puffed out your cheeks, “I hate my life.”


With yet another promise from Niall that things were going to work out in the end for you, Niall left your apartment. You were sitting on your bed, scrolling through your Facebook feed. You sighed as you saw another post from Harry’s honeymoon. You leaned your head against the bed frame as you clicked on Harry’s name. You started looking through his most recent pictures. A lot of the photos were either from his honeymoon or his wedding. You tried not to wince as you would stumble upon pictures of him and Kimberly kissing. You were basically looking at Harry’s timeline in his photos. There were pictures from when he proposed to Kimberly, pictures of them at a Coldplay concert, pictures of them eating crazy looking food, pictures of them on the bed snuggling. Just pictures of them.

You laughed as you landed on the next picture, your hand covering your mouth.

You smiled at Harry as he placed a small cake in front of you. He sat down in front of you, a smile so wide, you were afraid his dimples would somehow burst. “This is my first time trying out this cake recipe, love, so bare with me if it’s not good.” Harry said as he began lighting candles on the cake.

You shook your head, a smile still on your face. “It looks absolutely amazing, H.” Harry looked over at you and smiled. He looked at the clock on the wall and noticed the time. “And now, it’s officially your birthday.”

Since you and Harry were twelve, he’s always made sure to be the first to tell you Happy Birthday. As your best friend, it was his sole purpose to do so. Every year, Harry would make you a cake, from scratch, and would sing you happy birthday. You guys would eat cake in your pajamas while watching Sixteen Candles and eat even more cake for breakfast in the morning. It was a perfect tradition you’d hope would never end.

Your eyes glanced over to the caption. On this day, my beautiful best friend came into this world. I will always remain thankful for this day. I will always love you.

You bit your bottom lip, rereading the caption what felt like a million times. You couldn’t help but wonder how your birthday will be this year. It was only in a couple of weeks. Would Harry still come over? Should he even come over? With everything Kimberly said, is it right for him to come over? You grabbed one of the pillows placed on your bed and screamed into it. With your head still in the pillow, your laptop began to ring. You looked over to see your mom was trying to FaceTime you. “Just what I needed” you mumbled. You plastered on the most phony smile to exist. “Hey mom.”

Your mom smiled, “Oh, honey! How lovely it is to see you!” You shook your head, letting out a giggle. “I saw you at the wedding, mom.” Your mom shook her head, a look of concern appearing on her face. “How are you doing, sweetie?” Besides Niall, your mom was the only one that knew of your feelings for Harry. How could she not? She was your mother. Your mom would always tell her friends that she knew you and Harry would be married someday. She loved your friendship and she loved how Harry respected you. It’s what every parent dreams for their child. When she got the invitation to his wedding, she was absolutely shattered for her daughter. She immediately called you only to be met with you sobbing on the other side of the line.

You shrugged your shoulders, pushing your hair behind your ears. “I’m fine.” Your mom shook her head. “You’re not. And it’s okay if you aren’t.”

You sighed as you stared at the computer screen. “It’s over, mom. He’s married. I can’t do anything but be supportive for him.” Your mom pursed her lips, nodding her head. “Well, Y/N. The reason why I called was because I want you to go out-”

You groaned, interrupting her. “Mom. Please. The last thing I want to do is go on a date.” Your mom let out a sigh.

“Y/N. Harry’s married.” You shook your head slowly as your eyes shifted away from the screen. Your mother continued, “And from looking at how happy he was at the wedding and listening to his vows…Y/N, he’s going to be married for a long time.” You sniffed, trying not to tear up in front of your mom.

Your mom looked down at her hand, looking at her wedding ring. “Every mother wants that for her child. They want to see them in love. They want to see their wedding. I want that for you, Y/N. As your mother, I can’t stand back and watch you hurting.”

You looked back at the computer screen, a tear falling down. “Let yourself be happy.” Your mom whispered on the other side. Your head shot down in defeat. She was right. A moment of silence passed before you whispered, “Alright.”


Lucas was…nice. He did everything you were supposed to do on a first date. He asked about your family, he asked about your job, he asked about your hobbies. He pulled out your chair for you at dinner, he held open the door for you, he paid for dinner. Lucas was a proper gentleman. You couldn’t help but think you needed someone like Lucas. As harsh as it sounds, Lucas was your distraction from Harry.

“Well this is me.” You said as you nodded towards your apartment building. Lucas nodded as he followed your gaze. “Is it alright if I walk you towards your door?”

You smiled, nodding your head. As you and Lucas were walking towards your door, you let out a laugh as Lucas was telling you about accidentally walking into his brother “handling” his business in his room.

Your laughter halted as you saw Harry standing in front of your door. He was staring between you and Lucas with his arms crossed. “Harry? What are you doing here?” Harry stared at Luke before he turned to look at you. “Can I talk to you?”

Lucas cleared his throat, catching on the tension. “I should probably get going, Y/N. I had a really great time.” You turned to look at Lucas and gave him a small smile, nodding. “I did, too.” You leaned over and gave him a hug. As Lucas returned the hug, you couldn’t help but feel Harry throwing daggers at you. Lucas cleared his throat once more as he nodded towards Harry and walked back towards the elevators.

As soon as you opened your apartment door, Harry was quick to ask, “Who was that?” You ignored his question, taking your heels off. “What did you need to talk about, Harry?”

Harry cleared his throat, crossing his arms once again. “Were you on a date?” You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Yes. Ok, yes, Harry. I was on a date.”

Harry let out a scoff. “That explains why you wouldn’t answer my texts.” You rolled your eyes as you began pouring yourself a glass of wine. “Well I’m sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you.”

Harry closed his mouth, a slight pang of hurt on his face. He shook his head. “I just wanted to tell you that me and Kimberly got into our first fight today. I really needed you, Y/N.” You stared into the wine glass, your mind zoning off as Harry went on about the fight.

“I just need you to tell me what to do.” Harry said. You quickly came back to your senses. “I’m sorry, H. I got none of that.” Harry let out a sigh. He was already frustrated enough with Kimberly and being ignored by you wasn’t making it any better. “Damn it, Y/N. Stop thinking about that guy and pay attention to me.”

This time it was your turn to let out a scowl. “I’m sorry Harry that I wasn’t listening to you go on about your wife. Why would I want to hear your problems in your marriage when I’m having problems myself?”

Harry threw his arms out, “You’re supposed to be my best friend! You’re supposed to be listening to my problems and help!”

“My life doesn’t revolve around you, Harry!”

Harry looked away from you, shaking his head. He realized he was being needy but you’ve never had a problem with it before. You were always happy to help him whenever you could. He couldn’t help but think it was because you had a potential guy in your future. He doesn’t know who that guy was, how many dates you guys have been on, or how much you liked him. What he did know was you didn’t look right with that guy.

Harry placed his hand on the door knob before he looked at you. “You’re right. I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“Wait, H-” You closed your eyes as the door shut. You wrapped your arms around yourself, hating that you were so harsh to Harry. You were about to run after him but you couldn’t help but thinking about what Kimberly said. You knew you shouldn’t let her words get into her head. Why is she just now having a problem with your friendship with Harry when they’ve been together for two years now? You let out a sigh as you sat on your kitchen barstool. You couldn’t help but think about what it would be like from Kimberly’s shoes. You would be insecure as well if your husband had a best friend that has feelings for him. But you weren’t the type of person to jeopardize a marriage, why couldn’t she see that? You leaned your head against your hand. You didn’t know what to do anymore.

When Harry stepped into the elevator, his eyes were staring at your door, expecting you to run after him. When your door made no movement of opening, Harry looked down at the floor as the elevator doors closed.


thank you guys so much for all the feedback married is getting so far! i love that you guys are liking it! i love hearing from you guys! let me know what you guys thought/ want to see what happens next! 

you can find all my writing here 

you can read part 4 here

Destiel + established relationship + blind!dean

For @prayforjensen. Happy birthday, Lee! I love you!!

Dean’s vision begins fading somewhere around the sixth date. He tells Cas that he should get out now but Cas doesn’t budge. 

He started losing his heart somewhere around the third.

Dean gets glasses. He hates them at first, always laughs and says he looks like a nerd. Cas adores them, loves to take them from Dean to clean the lenses before settling them back on his nose. He likes the way they go crooked on Dean’s face when he falls asleep on the couch, loves the sound they make when Dean sets them on the bedside table right before he turns out the light and kisses Cas goodnight.

The prescriptions steadily get stronger, buying them a little more time. In that time, they whisper their first “I love you”s, Cas moves in, and they travel. Cas takes Dean anywhere and everywhere, from the Atlantic Coast to the Pacific. They stop at the Grand Canyon, drive down to Mexico for a day. 

When it seems that Dean’s vision will last the fall, they decide to go to Texas for Austin City Limits. They take a few days before Thanksgiving to drive up the east coast and visit some orchards, see a few lighthouses. They spend a night in Martha’s Vineyard and Dean complains about feeling like some uppity Hartford housewife but he holds Cas close that night as they sit on the beach and watch the stars. 

It’s when they’re in Kansas for the holidays that Dean wakes up, puts on his glasses, and sees so difference. He shakes Cas away, starting to panic.

“Everything is still blurry, C-Cas. Why-why- it shouldn’t” His breathing becomes ragged and there are tears streaking down his face and Cas cups his chin, heart breaking in his chest as he tries to calm Dean down. 

“It’s okay, baby. It’s going to be okay. Just breathe.”

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[TRANS] NYLON Magzine April Issue with NCT 127 — Ment

TAEIL
“When I was a high school student, I somewhat wanted to become a zookeeper. Since I really like animals, I wanted to take care of the animals in my neighbourhood. But after a bit of research, I gave up. The competition rate is high. Somehow, I became an idol where the competition is even more intense, haha. There are two happiest moments in my life, when I passed the SM Audition and when it was confirmed that I will debut with NCT. When I passed the audition, I was so happy I screamed, and when it was confirmed that I will debut, I bursted into tears. Especially when they confirmed my debut, really… I cried and cried until my eyes were puffy. Do you understand this feeling? It’s like there is a clear, bright flamelight somewhere over there, I know there is a bright world, but I feel like I’m just as in the dark as before. I have lived as a trainee for about three years and a half, every day I had this feeling, the moment it was announced that I am going to debut, it was like crawling out of a lonely tunnel. A world filled with bright and golden light, as if El Dorado unfolded in my life. That was a year ago, but even to this day, I still feel good and bewildered. Sometimes when I go on holidays, it really amazes me how on the streets and in shops I go to, there are people who recognise me. I am still inexperienced and I will work hard. Until I am like ‘Super Junior’s Kyuhyun Hyung… I envy his calm personality as well as his sweet voice and abilities. I also want to have his sense of security (stability). It would be a sense of security to be able to have both experience and skill. “

JOHNNY
“I am Johnny from Chicago. Compared to New York, Chicago is quieter and more relaxed. It’s a city where nothing is too hasty but not overly relaxed, this is why I like Chicago. The fact that I come from Chicago is very important, doesn’t the environment shape a person? I want to be someone who will never forgot where they come from, and I try to keep my wish. I’ve been living in Korea for four to five years now. It feels like I have matured a bit after living in Korea for a while. During this time, I have learned to not only think about myself and to respect the grown-ups. It also made me reflect on the importance of ‘myself’. Idols live in the eyes of others and are obligated to live up to their standards. Under such environments, to avoid losing focus, I have to remember who I am. I constantly think about the questions ‘who am I?’ and ‘what kind of person am I?’. I, Johnny, like DJing and playing the piano. I also wish to become a warm (kind) person, and someone who gives other people strength. My ultimate goal is to become a person who, even though is standing still, can still show their great personality. I am still very much flawed, but please believe that I will become that person. “

TAEYONG
“It’s NCT’s leader, Taeyong. NCT127 gave me a lot. I got a job called (being an) idol, I came into the company and met a lot of nice adults, most of all, I made a lot of friends. To me, the members are my best friends. Although I am the leader, rather than me leading the members, there are more times when they helped me. When I was young, I could paint and play the piano, I had a good reputation for expressing myself, and I often received praises, but it wasn’t easy for me to get close to people quickly. Do you like films by Studio Ghibli? I really like them, but the main characters in these films, why are they slightly different from others, they live alone and are lonely, but if you get to know, they are all good people. I’m talking about characters like Howl in ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’. I think I’m that kind of character, after we became NCT I have eight friends. I am grateful. Still, the times that I spend alone are also very important to me. Therefore, no matter how busy I am, when schedules finish I go to the training room alone and dance or practice singing and tidy my thoughts. I think that having time alone has the power of helping me grow and endure the pressure of busy schedules and life as an entertainer. It is my goal to continue to express the days I have lived, the days a youth lived, through rap and music, and after gaining a lot of experience and knowledge, I have a dream of becoming an adult. I want to be a real grown-up who can help and guide the way for the juniors.”

YUTA
“I have this phrase I always say whenever I introduce myself “I’m manly mountain man Yuta”. I really like mountains. In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘mountain’ and 'top’ is the same. That’s why I’m manly mountain man Yuta. Ah, I really like mountains. Before debut, whenever there was time to spare, I used to go to Bukhansan, Namsan-dong and every mountain in Seoul City alone, whether big or small. Whenever I’m at the mountains, my mind feels like it has been cleaned and I feel at ease. I thought of becoming a singer because of TVXQ sunbaenim. I wanted to become a soccer player when I was young. But after watching TVXQ, everything changed. They were really cool and they felt like gods to me… But after debuting, it’s harder than I thought it would be. Above all,  there’s no free time, I don’t have time to go to my favorite mountains anymore… One day when I was in a lot of stress I asked our EXO sunbaenim “Until when will this be hard?” they answered it will take three years to give up everything and I firstly will need work to my fullest. That advice gave me strength, I thought 'Ah, our Hyungs also went through a lot of hardship’  and this made my heart feel more at ease.
But whenever I’m tired, I’d like to watch sports documentaries. Soccer players in the A-League have to repeat the same strategy for years to improve their own skill. When I look at it, I think of their 'professional spirit’ and I want to become a person like that too. After all, everything is a fight against yourself. Whenever I don’t feel like practicing or just want to laze around. I think it’s important to keep pushing myself. Like this, I want to keep moving forward one step at a time. It’s just like climbing a mountain.”

DOYOUNG
I have an episode (story) that shows well what kind of person I am. When I was in elementary school I wanted to eat an ice cream so I went and bought it but
a car had rolled over my legs. But, I never let go of my ice cream for even one moment. Even when going to the hospital and arriving in the emergency room, I still held on to my ice cream tightly. In the end, I couldn’t eat my ice cream because it all melted. But this shows that when there’s a thing I really like, I tend to only think about that thing. Right now, I’m struck by our team’s music. The music I can do alone and the music and voices I can do when the 9 of us are together are definitely different. Nowadays, I think a lot about what kind of music our team would fit best. I don’t want to do just common things. Music is a 'proof of existence’ to me. Since I was young, I really liked singing but my parents never really told me 'good job’. To prove my ability, I started to participate in singing competitions. And when I was in high school, I went to the singing contest hosted by the province and got the first prize. That’s when my family started to acknowledge my singing ability. Since then, music has always seemed to give me a feeling of “this is it.” I don’t really have a role model, but I want to be a vocalist who can be recognized after singing just a single line. Like Adam Levine or Lyn sunbaenim. By the way, do you know Lyn’s song 'Love U. . Love U’? You should have a listen. It’s a song accompanied by a piano with delicate vocals

JAEHYUN
“ When I was young, at home I would frivolously laugh well and would have a talkative personality but strangely at school words wouldn’t come out. I’m also shy and somehow felt like I should stay quiet too… That’s why I spent a lot of time alone and my 4th grade elementary school teacher recommended extracurricular activities. I then realized the joy of standing in front of people for the first time doing variety of activities. I think the joy I felt at that time made me do it today. In fact, it’s still nice and fun to be standing in front others and not being burdened. However, it’s hard when I’m not as strong as I expect. Even if you practice but your skills don’t change, do something else. If you can’t dance, sing, when singing falls into a slump, you can watch a movie… Then a moment to be okay will come. I realized as I went many time through that process that I was interested in dancing, singing, movies and so on. That’s what I’m all about. Eventually, it’s obvious but it’s true that you have to be a good person to be a great artist. Being known is nice and receiving love is nice too but I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn’t deceive, someone who is confident of himself. And after a decade, he continues to endlessly finding out what he likes diligently, I want to be someone who continues to enjoy. A person who doesn’t lose his enthusiasm for what he does, that’s the kind of person I find cool. “ \

WINWIN
“ I’m Winwin from China. I have a deep fear of strangers. I’m also more of the shy type. However, if we’re close then I’m a completely different person. I play around a lot… NCT members all tease me for being a “heodang” (T/N: someone who looks perfect but acts stupid) Ah, furthermore! I am a smart person. When me or any of my friends have problems, I can solve them all! Don’t believe me? It’s for real. When my friends encounter problems they always find me first. Because of school, starting from middle school I had to leave my family in Wenzhou to go to Beijing alone. Compared to other people my age, I think I’ve developed a better ability to control and cope with situations. Therefore I was able to adjust to life in Korea without difficulty. I’ve been in Korea for a year and a half and met a lot of cool people. EXO’s Lay hyung is one of them. Dancing and singing, he is good at them both but besides that Lay hyung has a charisma that’s unexplainable in words. I want to also have my own kind of charm someday. My story, what else? Someday I want to act. I’m confident I can cooly play a the lead character in a film about everyday life. Also, I like R&B… my favorite song? I’ll let you know next time. If I tell you too much about me, the charm will be gone! “

MARK
I have a lot of laughter. I laugh about things that don’t make sense and when I was young, I was a kid with a lot of high spirits. Nonetheless, isn’t it more pleasant to be positive rather than depressed? I started <High School Rapper> with a cheerful mind. I did not come with the thought of wanting to compete and win the first place. The thought of wanting to learn was bigger. But when I went out, it was more stimulating than I thought. It’s also a place where I can see the talents of kids of my age around the country, and there are a lot of great friends. Above all, I have already debuted and come from a huge company. I have a lot of people who can help me and guide me. However, these kids who came out there in the competition are alone and they practice alone, I really respect that courage and will. At first, when it started, it was good to have fun, but I have to work hard too, as far as I can. I rap a lot for the team (NCT) but now it seems a bit funny to separate myself from being a rapper or a singer. From now on, without being bound to one restricted area, I want to be an artist who makes good songs and expresses them. Like Michael Jackson’s 'Man in the Mirror’, I want to create a song that is bright and is hopeful for people. The kind of music that can have a good influence on the world. That is my dream.

HAECHAN
“I’m NCT 127’s youngest Haechan. I’m in charge of being the 'cutie boy’, haha, these are not my words but the hyungs. The Hyungs really adore me a lot. Instead of giving you a common introduction, I will tell you the songs of my life. The first one is 'Hello’ by Huh Gak sunbaenim. Since I was young, I liked this song a lot. My parents both play music so naturally, I thought I would also definitely play music too. And one day, my mom came and said: “there’s an audition, let’s give it a go”. I went with a light heart and thought of having fun but unexpectantly, I passed the audition in one try. The song I sang at that time was 'Hello’ from Huh Gak sunbaenim. That’s how I got through the auditions and started my trainee life. I didn’t really know at the time but I seemed to hit puberty when I was fifteen. My mood swings were pretty severe. Whenever I cried, I would go to a dark room and listen to 'She’s Out of My Life’ or `You Are Not Alone’. It was Michael Jackson who seemed to have protected me during my puberty. Also, more important than any other song of my life is NCT’s debut song 'Fire Truck’. I was dazed and confused when I recorded the song, but listening to it now I realize it’s a great song. I think 'Fire Truck’ will be my song of life until I die. When I look back, I think about all the other debuted teams when we debuted and watched the sunbaenims who had already debuted. The teams, who made their debut together with us, were also very good and talented. I thought that 'I cannot hold too much hope, if we don’t work hard enough we will be buried (underneath the other teams)’ and worked even harder after our debut. I’m practicing these days to improve singing and dancing. Although I still lack a lot, I will do well. I’ll have more confidence in myself.”

Translation: Teddy, Selin, Rini, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: NYLON April Issue

Please take out with full credit

Taehyung

BOYFRIEND BANGTAN | TAEHYUNG VERSION

WORD COUNT: 1,417

FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by cyyphr

masterlist | ask

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This is written for @gallusrostromegalus who is sick and apparently really enjoys chickens, so. Fair warning that you are going to read about my family and chickens. I don’t normally write stories on tumblr, so here’s hoping you enjoy the narrative despite the shoddy storytelling.

To begin, I should start with my mother the Undercover Hippie. I spent a good portion of my childhood thinking my mother was normal because she didn’t dress in tie-dye, but as an adult, I’ve realised there are several things that marked my mother as one of those Boulder Hippies. The types that aren’t really Hippie in the seventies sense, but more in the ‘making questionable health and lifestyle choices because it is the newest Organic Idea going around.’ Notable occasions on this list are the time that she filled the brownies with wheat germ and made them crunchy, the time she brought my east-coast-city-child cousins on a camping trip, and the time she got chickens.

Chickens, in and of themselves, are reasonable things to own. Usually. However, my mother wanted them for eggs and began by taking the childhood fort (which most of us had grown out of) and turning it into a chicken coop. By chicken coop, I mean she stuck some boxes in it and put a fence around it, and patched up the hole in the side from A’s Enthusiastic Ninja Punch, and the hole in the other side from C’s Peephole Experiment, and the last hole from my own childhood Cannonball, and both windows, and then got chickens.

My mother is the sort of learner who just starts a project and then learns as she goes. While she knew they needed food and basic heating, she was otherwise a bit naiive.

For example, it turns out L, my sister, is terrified of chickens. My mother apparently didn’t know this (Mom, I don’t like the idea of chickens) until the chickens (Mom, really, do you think we have to have chickens, because they have beaks, and I got pecked once) actually got to the house (OH MY GOD GET IT AWAY. GET. IT. AWAY. GET IT AWAY GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!).

Additionally, Mom forgot that chickens can fly short distances and the fort has a loft and thus made the interesting mistake of not wiring off the top areas of the roof.  On Day One she had to knock on the neighbour’s door and ask if she could retrieve her chickens from their yard.

Eventually, after many phone calls, Mom got a handle on chicken care - by which I mean she passed the project onto my chicken-enthusiastic younger brother, who adored them. Not only did Mom have chickens, she had Happy Chickens who were more than pleased to make Many Eggs, and the family chowed down happily.

W, my chicken-enthusiastic younger brother, explained chickens to me this way:

Chickens have a hierarchy, so you have to have a rooster. They’ll start pecking each other and it’s a mess, but roosters kinda keep them calm, though roosters can get aggressive if the hierarchy gets disturbed, so you have to keep the roosters calm. This isn’t really hard, except that if you have to have a rooster, you’ve got a chance of eggs getting fertilised, and we want to eat them, so you have to go out and get the eggs every day, unless you want more chickens, and there’s a limit of how many chickens you can have inside city limits.

All of which seems perfectly reasonable, and was perfectly reasonable, until Mom decided to go on a fortnight’s holiday with my younger brothers, including W.

This left L in charge of the chickens.

Now, my mother is not a reasonable person, so if you’re just now wondering why Mom left the chicken-terrified child in charge of the chickens, it’s because mom is either an idiot or an arse. I’ve still not decided to this day which one she is, so we’ll leave it at that. But regardless of Mom’s motivations, my younger sister is now in charge of the chickens. She can’t get within a few yards before wanting to burst into tears, but also has a Big Heart and doesn’t want the chickens to die.

The chickens need to be fed and watered.

According to W, several things had happened when he got home and took charge of ‘his’ chickens again.

  1. On day one, L had attempted to feed the chickens, and upon entering the coop had been met by the Rooster, who, not recognising her, had immediately gone into Protective Mode. L had fled the coop, dropping the food but leaving the door open. This led to L calling the neighbours in a panic asking for a Group Hunt for the Chickens because she was too terrified to round them up out of the yard. A friendly neighbour put the end of the hose into the water trough so L could just turn it on instead of going in.
  2. L had fed the chickens every day by taking a bucket about the right size full of feed and tossing it into the coop. Not just the feed - the whole bucket. W had to pick up 12 different containers because after L ran out of buckets she just started using old yoghurt containers and whatever else she could find. The chickens apparently didn’t mind being bombed with buckets full of food, just ran out of the way and then attacked the containers until they got their due.
  3. L didn’t fetch the eggs, not even once, which meant that now W was a full eight chicks over the city limit, and had to give six more to some friends in the foothills who weren’t in city limits and could have as many chicks as they wanted. He ended up keeping the eight chicks and bargaining with the neighbours that they could have free eggs, provided that if the city Chicken Inspectors came by, the neighbours would tell the Chicken Inspectors that W was just caring for their chickens while they built a new coop or something.

By the time W, L, A, and my mother left to live in Swaziland (another story altogether), my brother had ten chickens over the limit, all extremely pleased and contented with life, until L went Anywhere Near The Coop, at which point they would all start shrieking like the dickens and running out of the way of any impending Food Bombs, except for the Rooster, who would puff up and start attacking the fence in preparation.

Anyway, the point of this story is Don’t Leave L In Charge Of The Chickens, with side morals of Don’t Buy Pets You’re Not Prepared For and Don’t Fuck With Roosters, and also I hope you feel better.

The Next Time You Say ‘Forever’

(sterek week day 5, song/lyric by Neko Case, 1.5k)

The next time you say ‘forever’ 

i will punch you in your face

Stiles is mad at him. It’s not that unusual, Derek guesses. They’ve always had a relationship that was built on a certain amount of arguing and bickering, but this time it’s a silent anger. Usually Stiles has no problem letting Derek explicitly know all the ways he’s let Stiles down, but now he’s not talking. He’d spent hours loudly complaining to the FBI agents on the task force and the EMT’s who’d shown up about his shot off toe, and how a change in walking gait now could mess up his hips or his back later, but once Derek and Stiles were alone in Derek’s car together, heading back to Beacon Hills, it was dead silence.

That’s how Derek knows whatever it is eating at Stiles, it’s serious. He’ll tell anyone who’ll listen about every minor gripe and petty complaint he has, but the big stuff he keeps bottled up until he explodes with it. 

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10

#kdramawomensweek: day 8 // age of youth love-fest | happy international women’s day!

So I pretty much put together some of my favorite scenes from Age of Youth. They’re all scenes that really hit me hard emotionally or just personally resonated with me. When Jin Myung, whose feelings have slowly been bubbling underneath the surface, finally overflows with emotion, full of rage and agony. She finally demands the apology she’s been silently asking for. When she fell to the floor in sobs, I cried with her. I felt that grief. When Yi Na realizes she’s been holding herself back and finally lets herself go. Dammit, that scene just hit me. When Eun Jae blows up and just begs for the housemates to be nice to her I could personally relate to her pain and just how nervous she must have felt to finally let that out and tell these almost strangers how alienated they made her feel and how much it had hurt her. That’s not easy.

As you can see, most of my favorite scenes include the girls all together. The relationship that developed between these girls, different in pretty much every way, from being strangers just living in a house together to sisters that loved and protected each other in any way they could was really the main strength of the show. Even that hilarious scene when the girls beat up Eun Jae’s boyfriend because they think he’s some stranger out to hurt her shows just how willing they are to protect each other. I mean, they burst out of the house the second they heard Eun Jae scream. The girls immediately went to comfort Ye Eun when she finally broke up with a boyfriend she loved so much. And when Eun Jae finally comes home after being out all night, the girls just hug her, saying that everything is okay because she’s here and she’s safe. I’m tearing up just thinking of the scene. That love for each other that made them one of the best friendships of 2016 and just in general.

What I love about the girls individual stories is the journey they went through during the drama and where they ended up. They don’t end the drama suddenly complete and whole, but you know they’ve set themselves on that track. They learn to start forgiving and loving themselves. The ghosts they’ve lived with are never completely gone but they’re not held back and tortured by them anymore.

Anyway, what I really want to say is that I love these girls so so so so so much. There’s really nothing I can say that can convey the amount of love I have for this drama and the Belle Epoque girls. It warms my heart when I think of them and I’m just so happy there’s going to be a season 2.

Only You

Jimin x Reader {Panther Hybrid Au!} (s)(f)(p) 

Warnings: Humping, cum play (sorta?), implied masterbation, riding, multiple orgasms, oral 

anonymous asked:

55 - Kyungsoo / 57 - Jimin / 30 - Chanyeol i’m shellfish sCREAMS ily take ur time pls bye ♥

Wordcount: 3.3k+

A/n: This is one out of the three she requested (all will be hybrid per request.) I enjoyed making this, and I hope you enjoyed reading.) 

(Nsfw Prompt #57: “I won’t stop until you pass out.”)

Originally posted by tiffanymth

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How long you had been going like this was beyond you. Sweat covered your body like the blankets you were on top of. Tears were already streaming down your face, more forming with every movement against your walls.

Jimin had slowed down for now, allowing you a small break but still not completely stopping. The feeling from your legs were gone, the numerous positions you had use them in causing for them to go numb. They had served you well, being there for you when you first started riding him, your limbs pushing you up and down until you fell from your first cliff only to climb up and fall over and over again.

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Redemption // Jeon Jungkook

-

the prompt: Jungkook scenario when your pregnant unplan baby he finds the test when you get home he starts yelling, blaming you throwing things,tells you to gtfo of his life with the baby saying fucked up things. So you leave Korea 3 year later you come back with your daughter and you guys see each other again he tries to win you back angst beginning but fluff ending?

words: 8942

category: heavy angst + fluff ending

author note: it’s time to see how good destinee’s character development skills are. also y/n didn’t leave, jungkook did. hope that’s okay. im so proud of myself for writing this?? I didn’t give up and I’m glad i didn’t. anyway, this took forever to write you can literally see my writing improve as you keep reading its kind of funny anyway let’s go!

- destinee

Originally posted by sugutie

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1. For months and months and months, you will debate if you should try harder or just give up on the past three years of your life
2. You know you deserve better but think, “Maybe I won’t find it, maybe I don’t deserve better”
3. You do
4. You were not happy, just comfortable
5. You should have left
6. When your feelings were made invalid- you should have left
7. When he poked fun at your insecurities day after day until you didn’t find yourself beautiful anymore- you should have left
8. When he condescendingly told you over and over to “Maybe pick a healthier choice” at the market- you should have left
9. When you were upset with him for something he said or did, yet somehow it was always your fault- you should have left
10. When you put his happiness before your own, but so did he- you should have left
11. When you exhausted all of your efforts into making him happy, and got little in return- you should have left
12. When he did not make an effort with your family or friends- you should have left
13. When he only found you beautiful with the lights off- you should have left
14. When you even thought you might be settling- you should have left
15. Everyone will tell you to leave, you will even tell yourself to leave, but it is so much harder than you ever thought it could be
16. Because you know you should leave
17. But you will not be able to go through with it the first time
18. You will get to his house and he will look so good and it will get to you- like always
19. The apologies and the “I promise I’ll try harder” ‘s will get to you – like always
20. The look on his face knowing you might actually leave this time, you might actually walk away, will get to you- like always
21. You will suddenly remember all of the amazing memories that you have shared and you will think “Am I really making the right decision?” – like always
22. You will hug him so tight and your heart will break when you realize this could be it
during
23. But this time you stop
24. And this time you leave
25. And this time you don’t go back, you don’t turn around, you don’t call him when you get home and say, “Hey, I’m really sorry, I made a mistake. Come back.” – like always
26. And this time, this last time, you will feel like you left a piece of yourself at his house in his basement; the same basement where you shared so many firsts and so many laughs and so many memories
27. And you will walk in your front door, right past where he first told you that he loved you and you will feel empty inside
28. And you will tell your parents and they will look at you like you could burst at any second because this time it’s different and this time it’s real and this time it happened
29. And your friends and family will be shocked that “you are taking it so well”
30. But they won’t know how nauseous you get every time he is brought up
31. They won’t know that your heart physically aches
32. They won’t know that you will cry on the bathroom floor until you can’t breathe anymore
33. And they won’t know that you will break down when his brother posts a video with his voice in it
34. The voice that convinced you so many times to stay
35. The voice that you aren’t even sure you recognize anymore
36. You were finally strong enough to say enough is enough, you don’t deserve this. But was it the right choice? Did you mess up?
37. You can’t imagine him with anyone else
38. You will be forced to put everything he gave you into a box because you can’t bear to look at in anymore
39. But you can’t get rid of it
40. You can’t just throw away three years
41. Like he did
42. You will text him a month later and he won’t want to talk to you and it will make you not want to be here anymore
43. You will laugh with your friends, but that night you will cry yourself to sleep
44. You will breakdown in the middle of Target because someone is wearing the same cologne as him
45. You won’t be able to drive past his house for months without crying
46. You will search for a distraction, in any place you can, because feeling nothing is better than feeling this
47. You will delete his number from your phone so he doesn’t hate you when you accidentally drunk text him
48. You will wait until four in the morning to go to sleep when you are dead tired because you won’t want to be left alone with your mind
49. You will feel like you are on the verge of tears for months at a time
50. You will look at old pictures months later and not recognize them or yourself; everything is different
51. “I wanted it to me you and me”
52. You will feel like this is never going to end
53. Because no one ever tells you how to leave
—  Anonymous, ​What no one told me about leaving
okay but

when rowan finally gets to aelin, and she’s probably locked inside the coffin without any hope of ever getting out, so completely battered and broken physically but content because she knows she did everything possible to give her people, her court, her family a chance, 
and then suddenly she hears some kind of inhuman roar through the iron box that muffles almost all noise, but somehow this sound is loud enough to still hurt her ears even through the box,
and screeching as someone physically rips open the box, and she can smell copious amounts of blood in the air and the entire cadre is there, summoned by Rowan for the break in a day earlier and using all of their strength to save the queen they want to serve from the one they deplore,
and they shakily lift her out of the coffin but she can’t even be grateful because Rowan’s not  t h e r e, and if he’s not with them he must be hurt and oh  g o d s what if he’s dead, and she’s starting to lose it because she can handle whippings and beatings and torture but she can’t handle her mate being gone, not having been able to save him–
and then there’s a shriek nearby and suddenly he’s there, her mate is there, in the same room as her, cut and bruised and limping but alive, and with him is Maeve, but something is different and–oh gods, her neck is broken, her mate killed the woman who has starred in every one of her nightmares for the last year, the ones that didn’t end when she woke up, when the pain from the bone deep injuries pulled her out of brief unconsciousness, her magic unable to heal so many extensive injuries, and not in an iron box, iron shavings sprinkled onto her tattered skin after her session every day before she could be returned to the coffin, Maeve is DEAD she’s finally gone, and aelin lets out the smallest sound of relief,
and then rowan is next to her, snatching her out of his brothers’ arms quickly, but so carefully, tears building up in his eyes at the sight of her in so much pain, shaking with rage at quite how much blood and muscle is visible,
and her mouth starts to move, and she wants to apologize for not telling him about the mating bond and for sacrificing herself and not telling him, but he can see it in her face and cocks his head in the way she knows means don’t you dare apologize, Fireheart and gods she has missed this effortless communication, and Rowan, everything about Rowan, her husband and consort and mate,
and they’re both grasping each other tightly to assure that they’re real, because Rowan has seen his mate’s face day in and day out in battle strategy discussions next to Aedion and in the nightmares that never seem to end, and Aelin never thought this suffering would end but he’s here, he came for her even though they both knew he shouldn’t have, and she can’t stop looking at him, at that face she loves, and then he turns to face her directly and for a moment she thinks she’s seeing double–but no, there’s that scar above his left eyebrow, so the only thing that makes sense is–
“You got a new tattoo.” her voice is quiet and hoarse, but still so unequivocally Aelin, and he wants to both laugh and sob into her because of course, of course that’s the first thing she notices, the first thing she says to him, the first thing his mate says to him after being apart for a year, so he nods and clears his throat,
“I–our story needed to be represented there too. I mentioned the idea to Fenrys the morning you–the morning after our ceremony. And then you were gone, and…” his throat felt swollen shut, but he continued speaking. “and then it seemed only right that you had a place next to Lyria’s, even though I hadn’t learned my lesson and…” he trails off, but she can read the “failed you, failed you both but here again Maeve went right by me and I failed you
“Buzzard,” she says, and she could tell him all the same with her eyes and her face but after so long of nothing escaping her mouth but screams, it feels so good to talk, “I can’t have you taking credit for my abduction when we both know I’m simply too clever of a mastermind for you to have realized what was happening. And you’re here now, and that…I could never have asked it of anyone. You came.”
“Of course I came,” he can’t stop looking at her, hands still wrapped gingerly around her emaciated frame, and if he hadn’t already rutting killed Maeve and Carn he would lose it right now at feeling her ribs poking at skin where there used to be layers of muscle. “I’m not just anyone.” his voice cracks, and he so so hates displays of emotion and mushiness but he needs her to hear it, to know. “I love you, Fireheart. You’re going to have to get used to the idea that I’m never going to let you go if we’re going to be mated for the rest of both of our fae lifespans.”
and she’s laughing and crying, because of course she is, and this arrogant, territorial male is hers for all of that time, and she wants to ask after Aedion and Lysandra and Elide and Dorian and Chaol and Nesryn and the thirteen, but she knows he wouldn’t leave them defenseless for anything, and her mate is here and he knows he’s her mate and gods is she so glad to have the ridiculous buzzard in her life.
He gets her out of the dungeon, out of the palace and she can feel him tense when they get into the sunlight and the iron in her wounds is visible, and he starts to growl but restrains himself when the sound makes her cower the tiniest bit, and he presses his lips to her temple but she can feel the wind delicately removing the tiny metal bits from her back, and her magic slowly, slowly starts to knit the skin back together, cell by cell, and then she’s in a featherbed sleeping finally because she knows there’s no way in hell he will take his eyes off of her for the next century, and a few hours later she opens her eyes because something thumps onto the deck of the ship, and she startles and clenches her fists because they must have found her, but then her door is thrown open and Lysandra is there, running to her with tremendous sobs, and she can smell the cadre in the hallway, and Chaol runs in too, but they’re both thrown out of the way by a volatile Aedion, and she knows something must be wrong because Dorian and Manon and Elide aren’t there, oh gods not Dorian, and she knows well enough that war comes with sacrifices, but it was supposed to be her, not her book loving best friend, and of her a moment they’re all crying together before Lysandra pulls a sealed envelope from her pocket, addressed to her in that regal script, and she bursts out laughing because of course he left her a note, of course he’s going to tell her he chose this, it’s so very Dorian, 
and she spends days like this, crying and laughing and healing and trying not to flinch at every noise and voice, wrapped in Rowan’s arms and catching up on hundreds of hours of sleep deprivation, until one morning he’s shaking her and she groans in opposition, but he pulls her to her feet and helps her to the deck, and her breath catches because she can smell it already–pine and snow and love and happiness and oh gods, they’re finally–
“Home,” Rowan breathes in her ear. “We’re home, Fireheart.”