every part of me says go ahead

The signs as letters between Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West
  • Aries: "Do you really love me? Much? Passionately not reasonably?"
  • Taurus: "But I do adore you — every part of you from heel to hair. Never will you shake me off, try as you may."
  • Gemini: "I always have such need to merely talk to you. Even when I have nothing to talk about — with you I just seem to go right ahead and sort of invent it."
  • Cancer: "I wish I didn’t love you so much. No I don’t though; that’s not true. I am glad I do. I don’t know what to say to you except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you."
  • Leo: "Yes, I am glad you miss me, even if it is ‘damned unpleasant.'"
  • Virgo: "You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defenses. And I really don’t resent it."
  • Libra: "The flowers have come and are adorable, dusky, tortured, passionate like you—"
  • Scorpio: "I wish you could live in my brain for a week. It is washed with the most violent waves of emotion."
  • Sagittarius: "You may have discovered entire new countries in your own soul."
  • Capricorn: "I find I get more and more disagreeably solitary; In fact I foresee the day when I shall have gone too far into myself that there will no longer be anything to be seen of me at all. Will you, please, remember to pull away the coverings from time to time?"
  • Aquarius: "I like the unreality of your mind; the whole thing is very splendid and voluptuous and absurd."
  • Pisces: "I suppose it is good for the soul to be hurt and perplexed perpetually. I know at least that I miss you damnably: that is a good fixed star."
Nosy Rosy Big Brother

Originally posted by oldbucksicle

Summary: Dean’s hit with a strong case of curiosity. Pure, uncontrollable curiosity that leads to him finding a treasure trove of nasty little things.
Paring: Sam/Reader, Dean/Reader (kinda), Implied Sam/Reader/Dean at the end
Word Count: ~2.5K
Warnings: FILTH. At this point it’d be easier to name what’s not in this fic, but I’ll name a few that are; smut (obvy), dirty text, nudey pics, sex videos of Sam/Reader, masturbation, anal play, anal sex, vaginal sex, dirty talk, copious amounts of semen, Sam’s a big fan of creampies (both of the butt and vag variety), more masturbation, voyeurism, NSFW gifs just to really mess y'all up :)
a/n: aight don’t judge me but I only have one fic to post today bc school’s got me fucked up and has literally sucked my soul from my body. I’m still working on some of the requests you guys have sent in and other WIP’s as the mood/will to do anything but cry in a corner hits me (lol but I’m fine tho I swear) I hope you guys enjoy my contribution for Smut Appreciation Day 2017!



The first time Dean “snoops"—it’s by total accident. 

Sam had lent him his phone after Dean’s had been compromised on the hunt that they had just finished. Long story short; phone in pocket plus getting pushed into pool by werewolf equals no bueno. Dean pulled up the messaging app to shoot the hunter that been helping them out a text to let him know that everything had been squared away, but when Dean went to tap compose message, his thumb took a sharp left and ended up pulling up the messages between you and Sam. 

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First and Last | 01

Pairing: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope X Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst; Business!AU

Word Count: 7.3K

Warning(s): Min Yoongi; public sex, thigh-fucking, exhibitionism, slight praise kink, clothed sex, dirty talk, slight degradation

Note: This is the first time in a long time that I’ve written a fic, especially one that passes 3k haha. There should be a second (and maybe third) part, to conclude, so look out for that, I guess. I hope you enjoy reading this tho :)

Originally posted by beatriceindre

Even with the light filtering through your window, your apartment looks bleak. Shades of grey coloring every inch of your space, crowding you in when you look for even a sliver of color. Perhaps it’s symbolic of your mood, your worst fears come to life. Perhaps, it’s a sign. A sign that you need to move on, look for a new palette to color your life.

You clutch your blankets closer to yourself, unwilling to part with perhaps the only thing that’s keeping you grounded. Eyes squeezed shut, you inhale deeply, hearing nothing but the sound of your steadily thumping heart. A sign that you’re alive, even after everything that’s happened.

You still remember the day that changed it all. The day that led you down this path…

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Klance- Stronger Then You

This is Klance
Bond forever
And I’m never going down at the hands of the likes of you
Because I’m so much better
And every part of me is saying “Go beat ‘em”
The two of us ain’t gonna bow to your rule
Come at me without any of your Galra tools.
Let’s go, you purple fool
Let’s go, see if you keep your cool

Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.
Can’t you see that our bond is stable?
I can see you hate the way we keep winning
But I think you’re just mad 'cause you’re losing

You’re not gonna stop what we’ve built together.
We are gonna stay bonded forever.
If you break us apart we’ll just come back better
And we’ll always be twice the soldier you are.
I am made o-o-o-o-of their bond
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond

Mm mm mm mm mm.

This is who we are.
This is who I am.
And if you think you can break us
Then you need to try again.
'Cause I am a feeling
And I will never end.
And I won’t let you have the lion,
I won’t let you have my friends.

Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.
Can’t you see that my bond is stable?
I know you think I’m not somethin’ you’re afraid of.
'Cause you’ve seen what half of me is made of.

But I am even more than the two of them.
Everything they care about is what I am.
I am their fire
I am their ice
I am a paladin

I am made
O-o-o-o-of theeeeir bond

And it’s stronger than you.
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond

And it’s stronger than you.
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond

And it’s stronger than you.
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond
Bo-o-o-o-ond

  • baby: t... t...
  • parents: his first word! are you trying to say 'train'?
  • baby: t...
  • baby: This is Garnet
  • Back together
  • And I’m never going down at the hands of the likes of you
  • Because I’m so much better
  • And every part of me is saying “Go get ‘er.”
  • The two of us ain’t gonna follow your rules.
  • Come at me without any of your fancy tools.
  • Let’s go, just me and you.
  • Let’s go, just one on two.
  • Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.
  • Can’t you see that my relationship is stable?
  • I can see you hate the way we intermingle.
  • But I think you’re just mad ‘cause you’re single.
  • You’re not gonna stop what we’ve made together.
  • We are gonna stay like this forever.
  • If you break us apart we’ll just come back newer.
  • And we’ll always be twice the gem that you are.
  • I am made of love.
  • Love.
Bite Me (Part 14)

Characters: Reader, Sam, Dean (…a pairing is approaching…I know I’ve said this for a few chapters now…Slow burn, guys.)

Warnings: slight angst (self shaming), mild language

Overview: You were raised in the hunter life. You fell out of it. It wasn’t your choice to get pulled back in.

Word Count: 1,339

A/N: This is the fourteenth installment in my first ever fanfic. Time for a plot twist! Thank you @wheresthekillswitch and @hannahindie for commentating and fangirling with me (as always). These words, like everything else I write, are for me. Feel free to join me in the adventure.

Read (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13)


On the fourth anniversary of Uncle Jay’s death, I took off from work early and found myself curled up in my bed, staring at an empty web browser. I didn’t remember much about the drive home, just that I’d made it miraculously in one piece with a spaced out mind. My hands hovered above the keyboard, fingers twitching as my brain debated whether to proceed with the thoughts that had been plaguing my mind all day. Arlo, feeling my stress, snuggled closer against my legs and rested his head on my calf.

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Thanks a lot, lady

This morning was a typical one at the gym.

Go in.

Count the drawer out.

Clean the bathrooms.

Clean other stuff.

Same as every day.

Had a lady walk in, tell me she doesn’t go here, but asked if I minded if she used the bathroom. Stupidly, I don’t tell her to fuck off. Instead, I say “go ahead.” Because I’m stupid.

Less than 30 seconds later, she’s walking out. She waves at me, tampons in her hand. The same tampons, mind you, that we stock in the ladies room for convenience. She also took the pads we keep in there, the air freshener, and even the goddamn spray-on deodorant we keep for a couple of the members who never seem to remember it otherwise.

I hope each and every one of those products you took are defective, and hopefully cause your armpits and lady parts to break out in a rash.

Now I’m told the bathrooms are only for members - and if it happens again we won’t be stocking this stuff anymore. It’s not really expensive, it’s the principle of the thing.

Way to ruin it for everybody, you fuckin’ hag.

Why can’t we have nice things? Because of people. -J

Stronger Than You (Garnet's Song)
Estelle
Stronger Than You (Garnet's Song)

This is Garnet
Back together
And I’m never going down at the hands of the likes of you
Because I’m so much better
And every part of me is saying “go get ‘er.”
The two of us ain’t gonna follow your rules
Come at me without any of your fancy tools
Let’s go, just me and you
Let’s go, just one on two!

Go ahead and try and hit me if you’re able!
Can’t you see that my relationship is stable?
I can see you hate the way we intermingle
But I think you’re just mad cause you’re single

And you’re not gonna stop what we’ve made together
We are gonna stay like this forever
If you break us apart we’ll just come back newer
And we’ll always be twice the gem that you are

I am made
O-o-o-o-of, lo-o-o-o-ove, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove
Mm-m-m-m-mm,Mm-m-m-m-mm,Mm-m-m-m-mm

This is who we are
This is who I am
And if you think you can stop me
Then you need to think again
‘Cause I am a feeling
And I will never end
And I won’t let you hurt my planet
And I won’t let you hurt my friends

Go ahead and try and hit me if you’re able!
Can’t you see that my relationship is stable?
I know you think I’m not something you’re afraid of
Cause you think that you’ve seen what I’m made of

Well I am even more than the two of them!
Everything they care about is what I am!
I am their fury, I am their patience
I am a conversation
I am made
O-o-o-o-of, Lo-o-o-o-ove, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
And it’s stronger than you
Lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove
And it’s stronger than you
Lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove
And it’s stronger than you
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Secrets Pt2

Word Count: 1773

    A/N: it took awhile but I finally wrote the second part to Secrets! The song I linked ( Tame Impala- Feels Like We Only Go Backwards ) to this story is the one I used for this story, and it’s been my favourite song for the past few days! I will be writing the third part quicker this time!


Originally posted by riverdales-daily

Masterlist 

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Because I now have 229 followers (WTF is happening) here is a celebration post of two excerpts from my extremely long fics, which are currently being written/edited by hand.

WARNINGS: Dirty talk (seriously, I’m nasty sometimes, like wow), swearing, feels

This first one is from Diablerie. Currently it is a Chase Collins x Reader fic. Depending on how long it is, it might get an actual character, because that’s what happened with my other fic, too. But so far, the reader is in a really bad spot in her life and meets a mysterious man who promises her everything she’s ever wanted; because she is desperate, she promises to pay an unknown price and begins to deal with forces she cannot understand.

Originally posted by loveviral


The second one is from Cherchez La Femme (title is French, it means “look for the woman”) and it’s a Bucky x OFC fic. It’s currently in the editing stages and has gotten completely out of my control, so right now, I hate it with every fiber of my being, but hey. It follows the story of two girls, named Lydia and Alexandria, who exist in our world and somehow randomly end up in the world of the MCU. Unfortunately for them, they run right into the two boys they didn’t want to meet, and are immediately faced with the dilemma of, “To tell or not to tell?”

Originally posted by xavierstea


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Give What You Like - Part. 2

Originally posted by trentsevenss

Here it is! The second part of my Pete Dunne imagine series. Just warning that all the members of BSS will receive their due attention ‘cause I’m really thinking about making it into a fic. I don’t know but I hope you enjoy it. As I said in the first part, english is not my birth language so I apologize for any possible mistakes. 

(Part 1)                                                              

Words: 3600 (perhaps I’ve exaggerated a little, sorry)

Inspirational song: (x)

Warning: Slight sex mention and, maybe, a bit of heartbreak

Tagging: @littledeadrootinghood @cam0flug3 @bolieve-that @jenapad @alafairftw @maleficentcheekbones @mrs-storm @wrestlingandwriting  (Please let me know if you want to be tagged in the next parts)

Credit goes to the gif owner.


{…}

“You’re an idiot, Dunne.” I said, coming down from the box on which I sat beside him.

He was looking at me with mockery, and not even my apparent annoyance would change that. I stood in front of him, crossing my arms. "What’s the point of this, anyway?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do not pretend, Dunne! I’m talking about your much-touted promo, belittling Tyler.”

"That’s the role of a heel, isn’t it?” He frowned. “I didn’t see anything much in what I said”

"It’s okay that you’re heel, but you didn’t have to exaggerate …” I pursed my lips in annoyance, then snorted at the realization that he wouldn’t listen. “He is your friend, if not your best friend.”

He laughed very briefly, shrugging with a grimace that made his neck throb. I knew the meaning of it; he would soon try to escape the subject. “So on. Now, let’s face it, ya owe me a commemoration for my conquest.”

I rolled my eyes. “I owe you nothing.”

“Yep …” His left hand was already resting on my waist, sliding to the butt. I took it off with a cover.

“Not into it.” I said firmly, watching him move one hand over the other to ease the lid.

“I can make ya change your mind …” I felt his touch again. Before I could push him away, he pulled me against him. His legs held me and his right hand just above my butt prevented me from leaving.

“Pete-”, I pronounced his name as a warning to let me go. We were backstage, the NXT recordings rolled out. Anyone who passed by here, even if it was a half-hidden area, could see us … And receive a Regal rubbish was not in my plans. But Pete did not seem to care much; especially as his lips moved closer and I felt his breath on my neck. “I’m serious…” I held a sigh, trying to hold myself.

“I’m serious, too.” He grunted, just before tooking my neck with a kiss followed by not very soft bites. "This will leave a mark”, I thought, biting my lower lip at every sensation that made it harder to resist. I had to push him away … Quick.

“Stop!” I put my hand against his chest, pulling him away from me, receiving in return a questioning look from one who didn’t know what he had done wrong.

He looked at me in a mixture of confusion and a slight spark of irritation, I could already discern this by the time of coexistence. His blue irises were darker than usual, accompanied by a slight twist in his upper lip, which revealed his probable thoughts as he looked at me.

Pete had never been out of many words, leaving everything to his facial expressions. In time, I learned to read them. “No”, I said again, realizing that he would keep silent. “If you did not notice; we’re in the corridor of an arena, my match is soon … Need more reasons?!”

“… You talk too much.” He said after a while and, before I could fight back, I was even closer to his body and with his lips sealed in mine, in search of a kiss that I wasn’t late to correspond.

Addiction. I liked that savagery of his kiss, I liked the bites, I liked how he always seemed more eager for me as he ran his hands over my body. I didn’t need to look to know where he was playing, I already felt it and allowed it. One certainty: I was not thinking straight.

How long was I without him? I think from the eve of his fight against Tyler for the United Kingdom Championship. Enough to miss, while part of me vehemently repressed the fact that I wanted him. So far, this part was losing by a nice disadvantage; greater than the sum of my fingers.

One of his hands was on the back of my head while the other felt my butt on the verge of squeezing it. I had grabbed part of his shirt at a time and pulled him close to me, while the kiss alternated between savagery and brief pauses to catch breath. I knew he’d find a way to get us out of here so we could go somewhere else. The locker room, maybe.

"What do you think you’re doing, Dunne?!?!” Regal’s voice was scare enough for me to shove Pete and get rid of his grip, breathing unevenly and nervously.

“Kissing. Can’t you see!?” I should have foreseen it. The arrival of Regal, Dunne’s runaway reply, and I staring at the floor, so nervous and embarrassed. I didn’t have to look at them to know the tension between; they never got along, this would be just one more episode added to the list.

"Get out, Dunne.” Regal snorted, but made a point of not showing all his anger. Maybe because I’m involved in the situation.

I lifted my gaze a bit to see the exit from the Bruiserweight, watched by Regal at every step, which did not make it impossible for him to make certain motions with his jaw as he grunted. Despite that, I still recognized sarcasm in his own way. He never gave a damn, I did.

“(Y/N).” I heard my name being uttered by the only remaining english man, forcing me to look up and swallow. I was expecting the worst. "Your fight is in five minutes, go.”

I nodded, not giving myself much chance to look at him or hesitate, and went on to fight. I know it’d be nice to apologize later, but now wasn’t the time for that. Regal was impatient; I was nervous; and Pete … He probably didn’t even care.

{…}

"How long does a girl take to change her clothes?” The question was shouted from outside the small locker room where I was arranging some last details of my hair before leaving.

“Quite so!” I replied, rolling my eyes, but with a certain laugh on my lips.

“Oh come on, (Y/N)! It’s just a little confraternization, you don’t have to pack up so much …”

“I know … But anyway!” I said, looking at myself in the mirror and noticing something I had missed: the marks on my neck. I clenched my lips, trying to think of some way to disguise them.

The makeup was lighter than the skin tone of the area so it would have no effect; My top much less. The way would be putting on a jacket, a scarf maybe (luckily, it was cold outside), and hope nobody notice. I sighed, looking at the reflection in the mirror and reminding myself of every detail. He would be at the party, that is, “confraternization”. Who knows the possibilities … “(Y/N), if ya don’t answer me, I’ll think ya died in there!” I’d been so distracted that I probably had ignored some of Tyler’s lines. Enough to make the blonde agonize.

I left the dressing room without further ado thanks to that, finding Bate all dressed up in a white social shirt tucked into the navy blue linen trousers; I was duly impressed and made sure to express it, making faces. “Wow! And you still tell me it’s a ‘little confraternization’ “, I paraphrased him, putting a hand on my waist as I watch him laugh as if my astonishment were an exaggeration.

"Don’t come with that, look at yourself!” He motioned to me. “It looks like you’re coming out of a fashion show.”

I rolled my eyes, feigning disgust. “Fashion show? Okay, if that’s the case, I won’t go.” I crossed my arms, beak; enough for him to pull one of them, undoing the act, and bring me close with a laughter sketched on the lips.

"I just meant ya look more beautiful than ya should.”

“Hmm … I don’t know! I’m not convinced.”

“Please”, he said. Just to see, I already suspected what lay ahead; he would try to convince me in every way to go. Not that it was difficult, in fact, I would go even if I had been irritated. It was a “pre-trip” farewell and losing it was not part of the plans. “Ya know I said that ‘cause I’m ashamed to go out with someone as beautiful as ya!”

Needless to say, after such compliment, any resistance of mine went down the drain and a certain blush washed over my face. I stared at him in surprise until he laughed and extended my arm to accompany him. I frowned at that and watched him withered with an impatient expression. “I swear if you don’t accept, I’ll pull you out.”

My turn to burst into laughter and finally hold onto his arm. Nothing strange, after all, Tyler sometimes came up with these strange ideas and I, as a good sister, was forced to compact. To the others, we probably looked like idiots; for me, we were just happy on this point … Even if, internally, I didn’t have such happiness.

{…}

“It means that our little girl is going to spend three weeks without us… !” Trent practically screamed, already a little affected by the drink apparently.

“Hey! Little girl, no!” I complained, pouting as he hugged me by the shoulders, bringing me closer. He, in turn, only laugh and motivate the other two to laugh too.

Despite that, I was amused by the situation as well. Oh really. I could hardly imagine how my weeks would be without the presence of these three english men, and thinking that I could hardly go with them. Reason? At the last moment, WWE chose to take only its main female wrestlers … Yeah, I sure was a nothing in the company. I was expecting a chance at the Mae Young Classic, honestly.

“How do I stand you, eh?” I asked, being squeezed further by Trent while Pete was practically lying in the upholstered seat and Ty was singing, out of tune, the music that reverberated through the room.

“We are irresistible”, Seven was the first to respond, looking at me as if this were obvious; without taking a certain giggle out of his face, of course.

“Badass”, Pete added, forcing a short mocking laugh as Trent straightened his mustache as usual.

“All of the best, overall.” It was Tyler’s turn to sum up, stopping singing to stare at me with a lightly tossed smile.

“And we can’t forget that you love us.” Pete got the dose, more and more mocking and stunned to look at me; enough for me to roll my eyes and go out of Trent’s embrace, crossing my arms against the far corner of the couch.

Even Dunne straightened to look at me, next to the other two, wondering mentally what had hit me. I sounded annoyed but, internally, it was just strange that this was enough to catch the attention of the three. Apparently, they worried about the possibility of irritating me. I ended up giving up the annoyance, relaxing my muscles and laughing, I don’t know if by commotion or pity. Worst choice.

"You should have seen your face, you seemed to have seen a ghost!” I said, laughing, then infecting the three newly frightened.

“Never give me such a scare again, okay?” Tyler said, then came over to place a light kiss on my temple. I smiled sheepishly at this, seeing with the corner of my eyes as Pete rolled his eyes.

After all, I never understood why my closeness to Tyler always bothered him. Part of me wanted to believe that this revealed any kind of feeling, but reality warned otherwise. Before I began to ramble or lose my gaze on him, I shook my head and focused on something else. “I don’t know how you can stand me”, I said, still looking at the blond with greenish-brown eyes.

Before anyone else, Pete took the lead in responding. “Simple, you’re hot.” He snapped, making me frown and look at him, just like Ty and Trent. “What’s it? Did I lie, by any chance?” He asked, strangely.

Seven shook his head in disapproval, Bate shot him without apology; while I, in turn, just got up and left. "Where are ya going, baby?” I heard the latter ask behind me as I walked away from the bar.

“Get a drink.” I snapped, snorting. My best friend didn’t deserve this, I know, neither he nor Trent; but I was far from being able to take another second near that …

I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want to see Pete Dunne’s face, probably questioning others what got into me. “Spare me …!” I growled, clenching my teeth. Yes, I was angry; but most of all, I was disappointed. I never expected too much from him. Really. But knowing that the reason for him to “stand me" was just because I was hot… That was the crux! My mind confusion wanted to make me cry, although giving him such a “taste” was out of question.

I leaned against the bar counter, breathing deeply to contain any stubborn tears as I watched the room. Everyone was having fun, apparently, but me. I could no longer see the three english men. It was better that way, though deep down I still wanted some of them to come after me. “He, preferably”, I completed it mentally, knowing that this would not happen.

But perhaps foreseeing that I expect someone to come, Tyler appeared. I forced a small corner smile as I watched him, noting him doing the same as he approached. “Did you order your drink?” He asked, knowing the answer.

“You know I don’t.” I said, turning to face him.

“I know, but ya must admit this was a great way to break the ice!” He said, making me laugh a little.

“Goof!” - “It was not!” I rolled my eyes.

“But you laughed.” He put a finger to my cheek, laughing my way. I undid my beak, feeling obligated to this, still not giving up. “Come on, (Y/N), admit it…”

I sighed. “Okay, you win.” I said, finally making him give a little smile that soon vanished after all I was not in my normal mood. He remained silent because of that, I had no idea why but I let the silence reign until I noticed his eyes on me. “Why did you come here?”

“I came to see how you were.”

“And… ?” I forced him to speak.

“And convince you to come back”.  “I knew!” I thought, giving a very forced laugh and shaking my head. I wouldn’t go back.

“I’m sorry, but you know I won’t.” I said, turning my back to Ty before I felt him grip my wrist.

“Please…”

"No.” I fixed my gaze on his so he would understand.

“Please, (Y/N).” He didn’t let go of my wrist even though I forced it. “Trent and I already gave a fine moral lesson to that asshole … He’ll even apologize!”

I paused for a moment, seriously considering if I should go back. Dunne never apologizes, this was a unique opportunity. I had to see it, taste what it is like to have someone like Pete Dunne apologizing to me. ” Seriously …“ Tyler tightened, releasing my wrist slowly as he held me in front of him.

"Is he really going to apologize?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“He will, otherwise Trent and I will beat him until he does.”

I laughed, dismissing the possibility. “Don’t exaggerate!”

“Don’t doubt me, I’m quite capable of killing him.”

“I know, but you don’t have to.

"For ya, I do.” I blushed, watching him smile affectionately as he adjusted the collar of my jacket with one hand. This had always been his normal but for the moment, it only made the redness on my face worse.

I don’t know why but his gesture only made me more nervous. There was something different about him … As he straightened up my jacket, the part of my neck where Pete’s mark lay was discovered. I knew he had seen it, and I was even more sure when the tip of his fingers brushed it lightly. I looked for a way to explain myself. “I…”

“You don’t have to explain.” He interrupted me, forcing a corner smile which I had no doubt about the falseness. There was a certain annoyance in his gaze, it was easy to notice, so much so that he soon tried to cover the mark with the collar of his jacket. “I think I know why ya came with this jacket now”, he tried to laugh, but the reality was already explicit.

“Ty, I …” I tried to explain again, I could not. Honestly, it would be better if he understood my lack of words.

“It’s all right, don’t worry.” The forced smile continued on his lips, but I could not blame him, he was trying to reassure me.

I felt the tip of his fingers on my cheek, giving a faint affection. I forced myself to watch, holding up his gaze that was strangest. "Did I mention that ya look beautiful?” He asked, not ceasing his caress.

“Yep, but I think you can say it again.” I forced a chuckle. On the bright side, he had made him laugh too; on the bad side, the situation made me uncomfortable.

The exchange of looks, the affection on my cheek, his way … At the moment, it did not seem to be who I considered as brother. Ahead was a well-known stranger whose gaze hung over my lips. “I’m sorry …” I heard him mutter. And before I could say anything, he joined our lips.

I didn’t know what to do. One of his hands kept on my face as the other slowly tried to rest on my waist to join our bodies. At first, he was incapable of sketching a reaction; but soon I fell into the real. Kissing who I considered as brother ?! Never. Thinking like that, I tried to push him away. “What…”

“I’m sorry.” He interrupted me once more, taking his hand from my face and moving further away. His face was filled with confusion, and mine was certainly worse.

“Why did you-” I tried to stammer, watching him run his hand over his face in some kind of regret. “You don’t…”

“I know.” His gaze revealed confusion, guilt perhaps, and something else I could not distinguish. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

I frowned, not understanding. “Tyler …” I sighed. “… Tyler, are you drunk?”

The question was a thump to him. I could see when his eyes opened and they blinked repeatedly, in surprise, while his mouth twitched and his face assumed a feature of … Grief ?! Seeing this, I soon tried to explain myself. “I mean, I do not …”

“No, you’re right.” He said, unable to disguise the hurt in his tone. I should never have asked that question. "I’m not thinking straight, it must be drink effect.”

I bit my lower lip, worried. It hurt me to see him like this, mostly because I knew I had some of the blame. “Tyler… I’m sorry, I …”

“You’re right, I told ya.” Maybe it was my impression but it sounded harsh. "It’s my fault, (Y/N).”

I didn’t open my mouth after that. I could no longer look at him, and the images of his wounded features hammered my mind with guilt. I had experienced such a reaction, but what mattered to me now was the possibility of hurting my best friend. "Let’s go back.” He cut off the silence, making me look up at him and see that he wasn’t looking at me anymore. The cluster for my sadness.

Without a word, I followed him to where Trent and Pete were. Seven was the first to be surprised by the mood between us, addressing me with a silent question. “What happened between you two?” I’d like to be able to answer this question but, like the proper idiot I was, I just kept quiet and avoided any looks. Dunne didn’t seem to care. I don’t know if I should be grateful for it, or simply regret my insignificance.

The rest of the party went on as it should. I force myself laughing and drinking one dose at a time, Tyler doing almost the same, Trent still intrigued by our strangement but disguising it, and Pete … Being Pete as always. Carefree, debauched and silent when he wanted to. After all, he didn’t apologize as promised and I made a point of charging it.

Near three in the morning, it was farewell hour. They made a point of leaving me in my apartment, which allowed some last moments with the three of them. The first to say goodbye, with a hug, was Tyler; a gesture full of coldness and quite different from what I was accustomed to. Pete also hugged me, entitled to the silly hand next to my butt and, surprisingly, an apology for the situation before.

I could be content and consider the night, in parts, as well finished. But Trent had the dislike of whispering in my ear that he knew why Tyler and I were like that as he held me in his arms. I left him with a perfect poker face. I didn’t see the three of them go away, I rushed up to my floor on the excuse of being very tired. The most ragged possible but who cared?

I locked the door behind me as soon as I arrived, breathing uneasily as I dragged my body into the bedroom, throwing myself on the bed. Tears ran down my cheeks. I was crying. Why?

Why was I such an idiot?

Why did Tyler act like that?

Why didn’t I want to admit that I liked the kiss?

Why, even in those hours, didn’t Pete leave my thoughts?

I don’t know, I’d probably only have the answer in three weeks. Only one thing I knew for sure: I had just lost my best friend/brother.


I sincerely hope you like it. Please let me know if you have any critics or just a opinion.

Anxiety

‘Are you awake?’ Sent 2:37 A.M.

‘Yeah, what is it?’ Sent 2:52 A.M.

‘Can you come and get me?’ Sent 2:54 A.M.

‘Are you at home?’ Sent 2:59 A.M.

‘Yes. I’ll wait outside.’ Sent 3:02 A.M.

‘I’m on my way now.’ Sent 3:05 A.M.

When he picks me up, he’s quiet. He doesn’t ask me if I know what time it is. He doesn’t ask me if I care that he has to be up at six tomorrow morning. He doesn’t even ask me if I’m alright, probably because he knows the answer. I didn’t have to tell him ‘I can’t breath’ or ‘I need out’, all I had to do was ask him to come and get me, and here we are.

We drive in silence, his radio off. Usually I’d hate that, but right now, it’s comforting. I don’t ask him where we’re going, and I wonder if he even knows himself. We just keep driving, houses and trees passing us. He turns off onto one of the dirt roads and we make our way up to the lake. He pulls up next to a tree and shuts the car off, looking over at me. He’d been doing that a lot the entire drive here, looking at me. He seemed concerned, the way he would glance over at me as we went.

Endearing.

“You wanna talk about it?” His voice is quiet and hoarse, and looking at him now, I don’t believe he was awake when I’d text him. To me, it looks like my text woke him up and he’s now bleary eyed and half asleep trying to make sense of anything. I let out a sharp laugh, covering my mouth as my lips start to tremble. I don’t think I can talk without busting into hysterics. He keeps his eyes on me though, patiently waiting for an answer.

“Jesus fuck dude, I don’t know.” My voice shakes and he sighs, leaning back in his seat.

“Alright.” And suddenly I’ve never felt more comfortable in my life. My hands are trembling and I can’t catch my breath, but just having him here like this makes it seem like everything is fucking dandy. It feels like a total joke, but I don’t care, I’m just so glad to have him here with me.

How wild is that? I could’ve text anyone. Anyone else would’ve been a better option than this asshole, but in the back of my mind, I start to think he’s the only one who would’ve shown up. How pathetic is that? Stan wouldn’t have woken up. Stan would’ve come up with an excuse. How fuckin’ lame. I know my best friend has a hard time dealing with me like this, really, I do, but Christ, I don’t think he would even try and help me through this shit. And I mean,  Ken’s got enough problems on his own, man, I don’t want to annoy him with mine…

“Thank you.” I say suddenly, picking at the peeling skin from my fingernails, keeping my eyes to my lap. He swats the back of my head, clucking his tongue.

“Don’t you dare say that.” I look up to meet his stare. He looks serious, eyebrows narrowed. I give a little smile.

“Say what?” I ask, just to be cheeky, my smile spreading into a big, dumb grin.

“The ‘T’ word!” He hisses and I laugh. Thank you. That fucking asshole doesn’t want me to say thank you.

“Why not?” I know why not. He doesn’t want me to thank him because he doesn’t want me to acknowledge that he of all people is doing me a favor. It’s a pride thing. He sighs, the air about him feeling heavy suddenly, and he says something I’m not expecting,

“Kyle, this isn’t the kind of shit you should thank someone for. I’m your fuckin’ friend for Christ sake. You thank someone for going out of their way. For giving you something, for complimenting you. Jesus, you don’t Thank them for being there for you when you need it. As your friend, that’s my fuckin’ duty. To make sure you’re okay. To make sure you’re not hurting or afraid or alone, alright? So don’t thank me like this is a chore, God damn it.”

My mouth suddenly feels like cotton and I don’t know what to say. I part my lips but no sentences form. I can’t think clearly. How can someone like him calm me down? How can someone like him make every scream in my head just stop?

“I don’t know what you’re anxious about, and fuck, you probably don’t either, but just, if you want to ramble about something until you feel better, just go ahead, okay? We can get Steak ‘n Shake after or something, alright?”

Before I can control myself, the words are out of my mouth.

“Thank you.” I manage, my voice broken.

“God fuckin’ damn it, Kyle.”

And all I can do is cry.

anonymous asked:

What's your view on Ouma and Saihara's relationship?

Oh my god, thank you so much for asking this. This is actually one of the things I’ve wanted to write about the most lately!

I’m going to reference some of Ouma’s FTEs in my answer, so I’d like to thank @kaibutsushidousha for translating them all to English! Those FTEs gave me a lot of insight on things, and were incredibly fun to read, so if anyone hasn’t checked them out already, I’d say go take a look!

My explanation’s probably gonna get long, and it WILL include spoilers for pretty much every part of the game, so anyone who wants to avoid spoilers shouldn’t read past this part!

Keep reading

Things I learned my first year of grad school

1. Trust yourself. Let’s face it: anyone in grad school is all too familiar with impostor syndrome (and anyone who says they aren’t might be lying haha). This year has been an exercise is trusting myself with knowing that I worked my ass off to be where I am and I’m just as smart as the people sitting next to me. My awesome cohort has become a bunch of people who have motivated me to push myself this year, harder than I have before, to step out of my comfort zone/personal boundaries. 

2. Find (a) community. Grad school will be one of the most isolating undertakings (especially if you’re moving alone). It’s important to find people outside of your department that you can hang out with. Everyday will be a mental exercise so it’s important to have normal conversations with people outside of your own field. 

3. “You should never not be reading.” Yup. Just keep reading. This is one of the easiest years you’ll have (and believe it or not– the most free time you’ll have).

4. “Work is never done. It’s just turned in.” The papers you write right now are essentially building the foundation for your thesis or dissertation. Take advantage of every course and use them to build a framework for the larger undertakings looming just ahead. 

5. Keep a space that is a work-free zone. Have a place that is dedicated to just lounging or relaxing. For me this was my apartment. I made sure that my apartment was, for the most part, a place where I could go to escape the craziness of everyday work and grading. 

6. It’s okay to say no. You’re probably going to have ten events happening on the same day/in the same week. It’s perfectly fine to say you can’t make it to some of them. You really can’t be in six places at once and mentally even more so! 

7. Remember to have fun. Whether it be nights in binge watching a tv show (big ups to Bobs Burgers) or a night out on the town. Remember to do something, anything fun for yourself. 

Stronger Than You (Music Box)
Original: Rebecca Sugar and Estelle; Edit: wan4life
Stronger Than You (Music Box)

Stronger Than You

This is Garnet.
Back together.
And I’m never goin’ down at the hands of the likes of you, because I’m so much better.
And every part of me is saying “Go get her.”
The two of us ain’t gonna follow your rules.
Come at me without any of your fancy tools.
Let’s go, just me and you.
Let’s go, just one on two.
Go ahead and try and hit me if you’re able.
Can’t you see that my relationship is stable?
I can see you hate the way we intermingle,
But I think you’re just mad ‘cause you’re single,
And you’re not gonna stop what we made together.
We are gonna stay like this forever.
If you break us apart, we’ll just come back newer.
And we’ll always be twice the gem that you are.
I am made
O-o-o-o-of
Lo-o-o-o-ove.
O-o-o-o-of
Lo-o-o-o-ove.
Lo-o-o-o-ove.
Lo-o-o-o-ove.