every joke is bad

…….i made this as an attempt to make myself laugh what am i doing with my life

7

For fucks sake Miles you were trying to prove her guilty of murder five episodes ago

he has beautiful eyes. never let him forget that. he will deny it time and time again, but don’t stop telling him. he secretly loves it.

he will make jokes to deflect every bad thing that happens to him. laugh at them. it eases the pain. but when you two are lying with each other at night, and you feel him start to shake; do not laugh. tell him it will be okay.

he hates the L word. everyone who has ever loved him has hurt him. let him say it first. it will take him awhile, but when he kisses your knuckles and looks in your eyes, he won’t need to say it.

you will never love him as much as I do. accept that. no one will count his syllables and watch him move the same way I do. but please, try to. he deserves it.

—  how to love the same boy as me 26/7/16
Who is who: 97-line group chat

Jungkook:
Send memes at 3 am
Sends videos of pranks he pulls on jin
Sends audio messages of his singing

Bambam
Sends memes 24/7
Dick jokes
Pics of half naked Yugyeom
More dick jokes

Mingyu
Recipes
Dad jokes
Bad puns
Videos of cats

Minghao
Comes every once in a blue moon to tell Mingyu to shut up
Him and Bambam send dabbing videos
Starts roast sessions ( victim is usually Mingyu)

Yugyeom
Send dance videos
Cat pictures
Food
Naked Bambam

Dk
Surprise savage
Singing competitions with Jungkook
Videos of him screaming

svt’s reactions to jisoo’s bad jokes

every time i watch jisoo make a bad joke i cringe into my hand but suffer through it 12 extra times to see each member’s reaction bc i’m thirsty like that so here are some observations

s.coups, seokmin, mingyu: genuine laughter/affectionate smile

jeonghan, junhui: judging stare followed by a secret smile

soonyoung, minghao, seungkwan, chan: awkward laugh

wonwoo: understands jisoo’s need to become a meme; half-smile, shifting eyes

jihoon, hansol: mouth open in a silent scream of laughter, curling in on themselves bc they’re laughing so hard, clapping like a seal

A (ridiculous) AU: Mabel Falls

A Gravity Falls AU where everything is the same except for literally, every single character is Mabel. (Like a bunch of Mabels not just Mabel playing every part) The story is still 100% the same sad parts and all (just with some silent Mabel moments thrown in like when the Soos-Mabel passes out the other one’s draw on her BEFORE they get into the sad stuff and stuff like that, story is still 100% the same just with silent moments like that added in)

Every character is just Mabel (same height, personality, everything) in different sweaters except for the following:

Dipper- Mabel with the hat (obviously, and with a matching sweater)
Bill- Who is Mabel with a Triangle Cut Out who laughs CONSTANTLY (and is evil obviously, but still has the same personality as every other Mabel so same bad jokes and everything)
Waddles- Who is literally just Mabel in a pig suit
Tad Strange- The ONLY Mabel with a different personality, she’s really really bland and monotone, the other Mabels call her Mabel Strange
Gompers- Just a Mabel wearing Goat horns
Gideon- Mabel in the same ridiculous blue suit
Lazy Susan- Mabel with eyeshadow and a lazy eye, maybe instead of a sweater this Mabel wears the same outfit she wears
Ford- Mabel with six fingers (Again, duh.)
Tambry- This Mabel has a pink streak in her hair
Sheriff Blubs/Deputy Durland- Mabel wearing the cop outfiit
Any character that has glasses, Mabel has the same ones (So Ford-Mabel has the same glasses as ford, Candy- Mabel has Candy’s glasses, etc, etc)
Grenda- Mabel but  like 2x the size of every other Mabel (tallest, biggest Mabel)
Old Man McGucket- Mabel but with his beard + maybe the hat +  a pet racoon 
Blendin Blandin- Mabel with the same outfit as Blendin’s (she’s not bald though)
Robbie- Mabel with super heavy eyeliner
Filbrick Pines- Mabel but in Filbrick Pines’s outfit (hat, suit, everything)
Melody- Mabel with a low ponytail
Xyler and Craz- Mabel in a SUPER BRIGHT outfit and with the same color hair (so like Mabel with the same color blue hair and a Mabel with the same color yellow hair)
Cheekums- Mabel in a hamster suit inside a human sized hamster ball (like the one she was gonna buy in Gobblewonker)
Dippy Fresh- Mabel Fresh basically, do with that what you will
Sevral Times- Mabels in their same outfits

You see the theme here right? Like Most of the Mabels are just Mabel in different sweaters but any animal is Mabel dressed as that animal, Anyone with glasses Mabel has them, Anyone with a hat Mabel has the hat, etc, etc, but you basically change as little as possible unless that character has a very SPECIFIC outfit (like Lazy Susan, Blendin Blandin, the Sherrif and Deputy)

up next on: shit i’m so fucking tired of seeing on this site

someone: *shares a positive/cute story involving someone with a mental illness*

“stop romanticizing it”

someone: *tells a joke about terrorism, rape or some tragic occurrence*

“it’s not a joke”


here’s a thought: not every single mention of a bad thing has to be bad.
we know it’s bad. mental illness is bad. terrorism is bad. rape is bad.
we know the existence of these things is not inherently funny. or cute.

stop getting mad at people for sharing experiences that aren’t 100% miserable. if someone has a story about how their physical ailment ended up connecting them to their soulmate, it’s fine to find it cute, but if it’s a mental ailment, it’s not allowed to lead to something good. everything has to be sad always. no

and if you can’t make jokes about controversial topics, all that’s left is debate and anger and sad memories. fuck that.

  • Kamui: Marx, I have a question.
  • Marx: Alright.
  • Kamui: What does a little sister ride?
  • Marx: ...
  • Kamui: ...
  • Marx: .....What?
  • Kamui: A niisan ≖‿≖
  • Marx: ...
  • Marx: .........Why are we married again?
Being Jeonghan’s girlfriend means
  • having the most attentive boyfriend on the planet like you could’ve bought a new lipstick the day before and tried it and he would be like “is that new? it looks beautiful”
  • and of course he thinks you look beautiful in everything but he’d have like favorite outfits saved in his mind so if you were ever like “what should i wear today?” he’d be like “well, i really liked that sweater you wore the other day because it brought out your eyes”
  • treats you like you’re a delicate flower and cups your face in his hands when he kisses you 
  • nap time together and when you’re away you text each other when you’re about to fall asleep so you can still pretend you’re napping together
  • snapchats you selcas of him about to fall asleep and asks you to do something to wake him up
  • so you send every bad/hilarious/dirty joke you know and videos of you going off to mansae and screeching the lyrics
  • and he snapchats you back just blurry pictures of him dying of laughter
  • you taking care of him when he’s sick and him loving every minute of it because you give him whatever he wants and cook for him
  • meanwhile he’s in bed wearing his blanket like a cape and calling your name because he wants to snuggle
  • even though he’s sick
  • and you love him so much that you suck it up and cuddle with him anyway
  • he buys you guys matching outfits
  • “but we can only wear on the same days, okay? otherwise my outfit will be lonely”
  • “your outfit but not you?”
  • “well obviously i will be too”
  • him taking note of little things that you love and buying them whenever he can
  • because it’s his way of saying thank you for taking care of him all the time
  • and reminding you that he loves you

PEACHES

  • Drug and mushroom dealer
  • Real name is actually Rulio 
  • He calls everyone Peaches and thanks to that, his street name changed to Peaches
  • Die hard alcoholic and will drink nonstop if possible
  • Scared of fire thanks to his house and parents burning down when he was a child
  • Lost an eye and a leg thanks to some drug deals gone wrong
  • Speaks in a hoarse voice and tends to laugh at every single bad joke
  • Obtained his stand due to a weird af LSD trip
  • Sleepy child

CRAZY LA PAINT

  • Long range stand
  • Turns an area in a certain radius into different colour, mostly over and undersaturated colours. 
  • Also reverses all actions except for those of the users
  • Range: 50-90m 
  • Blends into the background while activated to make it harder to find
  • As fragile as its owner
On Cursed Child (SPOILERS AHEAD)

THINGS I LIKED ABOUT CURSED CHILD:

• Albus and Scorpius being best friends 

• Albus and Scorpius both being in Slytherin

• Scorpius being a total Cinnamon Roll, and the biggest possible nerd

• Draco being a good father
 and being able to set his ideas and problems aside in an attempt to understand his son

• Draco going to the Potter’s house to confront Harry about his terrible decision to keep the kids apart

• There being a conversation involving Draco and Ginny about how feeling lonely and misunderstood can take you to really bad places

• Engorgimpressed

• Literally every joke actually

• Getting to see the kind side of Draco

• Ron asking Hermione to renew their vows because he loves her too much and he can’t believe they weren’t married in other realities

• Ronmione being ‘constantly surprised’ by their love but always in the most positive and adorable way
• Draco slowly and reluctantly becoming friends with them almost exclusively because of their parenting problems

• HERMIONE AS MINISTER FOR MAGIC YAS QUEEN

• Ron running the joke shop and sending everyone stupid gifts for Hogwarts

• Ginny being sarcastic and badass while still being a total sweetheart and good mom

• Ron’s dad jokes

• Wizard nursing homes being the best thing ever

• McGonagall still being principal

• Fred and George / the Marauders trying to get out of the Hogwarts Express and having their asses kicked by the fucking trolley witch

• Harry naming his kid Albus Severus not because he thought these men were perfect but as a way of acknowledging their flaws, the fact that they were great people regardless of them and to remind both Albus and himself that people are imperfect and you should never expect them to be more than human

• Harry being zero anti Slytherin

• Hagrid meeting baby Harry for the first time and being the sweetest thing

• The fact that even though she wasn’t the only one involved in the writing I could still see JK’s hand in there

• The way time-traveling is described

• The fact that I didn’t find the script format annoying at all

• Harry being afraid of Pigeons

• Dudley sending Harry the blanket

• Harry doing most of the cooking

• Ginny writing about sports for the Daily Prophet

THINGS I DID NOT LIKE ABOUT CURSED CHILD

• Voldemort and Bellatrix??? I literally have so many questions about this, how was it possible for them to do it? Was Bellatrix even pregnant?

• HETERONORMATIVITY: why have these two characters who are so obviously in love with each other and work so well together flirt through the entire book only to brush it off with some mediocre awkward straight crushes. I literally see no problem in having those two end up together and it kills me that LGBTQ+ kids like myself will once again get no representation at all in the wizarding world.

• Rose being so close-minded, arrogant and reluctant to accept Scorpius. I feel that considering who her parents are she should have known better…

• LITERALLY EVERYONE BEING ANTI-SLYTHERIN like I thought we were over this. JKR confirmed herself that Slytherins aren’t evil and the fact that a (kind of) canon story has the entirety of Hogwarts shaming Albus for being in this house that I personally consider to be wonderful bothers me.

• Harry being a terrible father

• Harry not considering Sirius, Arthur, Hagrid, etc. to be father figures and role models for him

• Hermione being lonely and unsuccessful in a reality in which she didn’t marry Ron

• All the time-traveling mess

• Cedric becoming evil just because he lost the tournament like what the hell? We’re talking about the purest, most generous hufflepuff to ever exist, it has to take more to bring him down

• The rumors about Scorpius being Voldemort’s son, they were so awkward and off topic and I can’t really find a reason for them to be there
• Amos being so mean and blaming Harry for Cedric’s death (I understand he’s old and lonely and everything but still)

• Where on earth is Teddy Lupin????

• The way most of the characters from the past were portrayed

• That Harry had to watch his parents die

• James and Lilly Jr. not doing anything to make his brother’s life less miserable

• James and Lilly Jr. actually not being important at all (?)

• The fact that even though this was supposed to be our chance to return to Hogwarts we didn’t get to see a lot of regular life at the school or anything of the sort

• Snape suddenly being so nice

• Double casting in cases like Amos / Dumbledore, Snape / Voldemort, Myrtle / Lilly, Cedric / both James or Trolley Witch / McGonagall