every famous

Concept: an immortal who doesn’t shy away from photos or paintings. Draws self portraits on cave walls. Photobombs everything with a pout and a suave pose. Commissions numerous portraits of themself as a literary Romantic before faking their death. Tries to be at least slightly famous every time they have a new identity. Creates a conspiracy blog linking all their past photos together before mysteriously disappearing in mysterious circumstances. Mysteriously. Usually only disappears for 10 to 20 years after “"dying”“ before making another appearance. Everyone else in the immortal community lowkey hates them. “Ah, fuck. You’ll never guess who’s resurfaced again.” “Fucking… Dave?” “Fucking Dave.

HOW WAS SPY KIDS 3 A MOVIE

Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER

First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ

THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?

Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??

who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly

THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE

WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES

ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP

ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE

Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression

Then we get Antonio Banderas doing this?

AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE

AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON

HOW WAS THIS A MOVIE???

Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws like looking at the trophies in the school. They like seeing the names, and what these people did. They like to speculate if they’re still alive or not. But their favorite section is a whole wall will names of people who have done “Special Services for the School.” Some of the names are obvious, “Harry Potter,” “Neville Longbottom,” “Hermione Granger,” “Ron Weasley.” While others are names that Ravenclaws have heard mixed things about, or haven’t heard of at all. Names like “Colin Creevey,” “Lavender Brown,” “Remus Lupin,” “Nymphadora Tonks,” and “Draco Malfoy.” There was even plaque for those who could not be named. And above all of the names was magical banner that glittered the words, “Thank you for your assistance and dedication on 2 May, 1998.”

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao

every art historian i’ve ever interacted with: i don’t care for rococo

me, flexing: you can just say u hate gay people

It’s 2075. Every famous modern book can be traced back to a prompt from the tumblr writing prompts blog,,,except for one. You’re investigating its origins and you’re shocked to find out that….

Sneaky bastard - Bruce Wayne x Reader (NSFW)

Since I have no shame, yet another smutty story (it’s been a while). It’s not just smut though, there’s a plot, and there’s lots of fluff@whovianayesha hope you’ll like it and don’t think it’s total shite, because as usual, I feel like it’s pretty badmaybe I rushed things a bit too much ? I mean, actions gos by too fast and don’t make sense ? EEEEEH I’M ALWAYS SO STRESSED YOU GUYS WON’T LIKE MY WRITING WHENEVER I POST SOMETHING, sorry for being such an annoying angsty woman, I just hope you’ll like  :

WARNING NSFW (smut, don’t read if it makes you uncomfortable, go read my other very safe for work stories instead ;)), LANGUAGE. It’s long, sorry.

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_____________________________________________________________________

If someone would have told you a few weeks ago that you’d save the goddamn Batman, you’d probably would have laughed in their faces. It seemed so ridiculous, that a rookie such as you, who literally joined the forces not even a month before, would ever save a man like the Dark Knight. 

And yet, it happened. And it was wicked awesome.

*********************

He was fighting a bunch of thugs in a back alley, when you came by. You weren’t even gonna intervene, you knew the man, you already saw him roaming Gotham City before you became a cop, he could definitely handle himself…But then, you noticed one of the guy he was fighting take a few steps back, and draw a gun. It was pointed right at the bat’s head and he was going to pull the trigger in a matter of seconds ! 

You didn’t think, you acted. You jumped in the alley, surprising all of them, and with an expertly done high kick, you got the gun out of the man’s hand, knocking him down with a mean left hook. Damn, you turned into a total badass under the adrenaline ! 

Batman quickly got rid of the las few thugs, and turned to you. Suddenly, you didn’t feel that excited anymore, the man was impressive. So tall. Large. Muscular. Yeah ok, he was totally sexy. 

He turned his weird glowy white gaze on you, and, with a voice too rough and low to be human, asked you : 

-Are you alright ? This was very foolish to jump in like that, I didn’t need your help. You could have been very hurt. 

-Yeah I’m alright, and like Hell you didn’t need my help, I totally saved your life dude, be more thankful ! Jeez louiiise. 

-…

-Wow. Ok. So you’re an ass. 

-The ass can give you a ride to the nearest hospital, you’re bleeding. 

-What ? 

He pointed to your arm, and…oh. Yeah. You got shot. Damn. 

-I didn’t even feel it…

-Must be the rush of epinephrine in your blood. Come on, follow me. 

-Wow wait, you’re gonna give me a ride…in the batmobile ?! 

-Do you see any other car ? Climb in, and do not touch anything. 

You tried to keep your cool. To act like it was no big deal…but the adrenaline in your veins doubled in volume as you sat in the car you so often dreamt of riding when you were a child. Fuck this was great ! 

He drove you to the nearest hospital, without saying a word, and almost threw you out of the car. Ass. 

Your wound wasn’t deep, a bullet just grazed you and you only needed a few stitches, you were out two hours later. You went home by foot, because walking always cleared your mind, and damn it needed to be clear right now. Anyway, you weren’t living too far away. 

You just saved the Batman ! YOU JUST SAVE THE BATMAN !! 

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MERLIN AESTHETICS
                 ↪ instagram (7/∞)

All he’s ever dreamt of is the freedom to be who he is unapologetically without fear of persecution but never once did Merlin think he’d be caught up in the midst of all the chaos himself. The city has introduced him to a whole network of others just like him: sorcerers & creatures of magic that know him, if not personally then for his prestige. His influence is only beginning to grow– And Merlin is ambitious enough to take it all in stride.

“If you have such a problem with lack of diversity in ya books why don’t you write your own” because none of you want to read a book with anyone besides a white male/female lead and a heterosexual subplot

19 reasons why I’m grateful to Shawn ❤️

You showed us that hard work and dedication pays off and to never give up on our dreams

Thanks to you I got to meet the most amazing people and make friends from all around the world


I got to travel to other countries to be at your shows and also to explore their culture 

You made me never doubt the person you truly are and feel like you’re my friend because this is a person to person relationship

 I’ve never connected to anyone’s music like with yours before and this is something I’m very very grateful 

Experiencing the shows, being part of the Shawn Mendes World Tour and Illuminate World Tour made me believe in magic 

 You being the cute dork and the kindest, funniest person ever put a smile on my face even when I wasn’t happy at all   


I got to meet you a couple of times and every time I felt like I was meeting a friend after a long time and you give the best hugs #fact

Not only you make the best kind of music but your taste in music is amazing too & I love that you share the songs you love with us

You never miss a chance to let us know how much you love us and how our support means the world to you

You always give your best, at every single show, no matter if there are 2000 people watching or 20,000 and that is extremely admirable 

Even tho a lot of people in the fandom are problematic, you handle every situation very maturely 

Your love and passion for music makes me fall in love with everything you do more and more every time if that’s even possible

  You are so mature for your age, you have such a beautiful mind and a pure heart 

You showed us how even tho you get more and more famous every day, you’re still that humble and kind guy we fell in love with years ago  

Your songs are so special to me that it’s the hardest thing to pick one favourite & I literally get offended when someone asks me to choose 

  Never thought someone would sound EVEN BETTER live than recorded but you proved me wrong and I’m so glad you did 


 I’m SO grateful that you’re a literal meme, I can’t tell you how much I love using memes of you #sorrynotsorry (also here’s one of many)     

Thank you for all the amazing memories that I made thanks to supporting you, I’m looking forward to making many more in the future    

Happy Birthday Shawn  ❤️

8

“I feel like I’m still so much on the come up and I still have so far to go. What’s next? I don’t even know. I want to be doing a bunch of movies. I want to be in different movies and play different characters and at the same time, I want to be on your TV every week with Famous in Love. I just want people to fall in love with my characters and really grow with them.”