Concept: an immortal who doesn’t shy away from photos or paintings. Draws self portraits on cave walls. Photobombs everything with a pout and a suave pose. Commissions numerous portraits of themself as a literary Romantic before faking their death. Tries to be at least slightly famous every time they have a new identity. Creates a conspiracy blog linking all their past photos together before mysteriously disappearing in mysterious circumstances. Mysteriously. Usually only disappears for 10 to 20 years after “"dying”“ before making another appearance. Everyone else in the immortal community lowkey hates them. “Ah, fuck. You’ll never guess who’s resurfaced again.” “Fucking… Dave?” “Fucking Dave.”
They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:
So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
Guys: It was me.
One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT”
he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
We never saw her in detention again😂
My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao
I hate the “You’ll never make it big” argument as a deterrent for aspiring writers. Look, I’ve done my research, I know how tiny, tiny, tiny of a chance that I or anyone else will “make it big” is. But listen, my guys, that chance isn’t zero. Every famous author started out with the exact same odds, remember that, don’t let people who shove “you can’t make it big” down your throat deter you.
And if you DO fall into the vast majority and your story doesn’t get that movie you dream of, and it doesn’t sell a million copies, is that really so bad? No matter the scale your book is read on, big or small, someone out there will read it, and someone out there will love it just as much as you do. So write, guys, write.
The world will never run out of a need for stories, it needs you.
All he’s ever dreamt of is the freedom to be who he is unapologetically without fear of persecution but never once did Merlin think he’d be caught up in the midst of all the chaos himself. The city has introduced him to a whole network of others just like him: sorcerers & creatures of magic that know him, if not personally then for his prestige. His influence is only beginning to grow– And Merlin is ambitious enough to take it all in stride.
Since I have no shame, yet another smutty story (it’s been a while). It’s not just smut though, there’s a plot, and there’s lots of fluff. @whovianayeshahope you’ll like it and don’t think it’s total shite, because as usual, I feel like it’s pretty bad…maybe I rushed things a bit too much ? I mean, actions gos by too fast and don’t make sense ? EEEEEH I’M ALWAYS SO STRESSED YOU GUYS WON’T LIKE MY WRITING WHENEVER I POST SOMETHING, sorry for being such an annoying angsty woman, I just hope you’ll like :
WARNING NSFW (smut, don’t read if it makes you uncomfortable, go read my other very safe for work stories instead ;)), LANGUAGE. It’s long, sorry.
If someone would have told you a few weeks ago that you’d save the goddamn Batman, you’d probably would have laughed in their faces. It seemed so ridiculous, that a rookie such as you, who literally joined the forces not even a month before, would ever save a man like the Dark Knight.
And yet, it happened. And it was wicked awesome.
He was fighting a bunch of thugs in a back alley, when you came by. You weren’t even gonna intervene, you knew the man, you already saw him roaming Gotham City before you became a cop, he could definitely handle himself…But then, you noticed one of the guy he was fighting take a few steps back, and draw a gun. It was pointed right at the bat’s head and he was going to pull the trigger in a matter of seconds !
You didn’t think, you acted. You jumped in the alley, surprising all of them, and with an expertly done high kick, you got the gun out of the man’s hand, knocking him down with a mean left hook. Damn, you turned into a total badass under the adrenaline !
Batman quickly got rid of the las few thugs, and turned to you. Suddenly, you didn’t feel that excited anymore, the man was impressive. So tall. Large. Muscular. Yeah ok, he was totally sexy.
He turned his weird glowy white gaze on you, and, with a voice too rough and low to be human, asked you :
-Are you alright ? This was very foolish to jump in like that, I didn’t need your help. You could have been very hurt.
-Yeah I’m alright, and like Hell you didn’t need my help, I totally saved your life dude, be more thankful ! Jeez louiiise.
-Wow. Ok. So you’re an ass.
-The ass can give you a ride to the nearest hospital, you’re bleeding.
He pointed to your arm, and…oh. Yeah. You got shot. Damn.
-I didn’t even feel it…
-Must be the rush of epinephrine in your blood. Come on, follow me.
-Wow wait, you’re gonna give me a ride…in the batmobile ?!
-Do you see any other car ? Climb in, and do not touch anything.
You tried to keep your cool. To act like it was no big deal…but the adrenaline in your veins doubled in volume as you sat in the car you so often dreamt of riding when you were a child. Fuck this was great !
He drove you to the nearest hospital, without saying a word, and almost threw you out of the car. Ass.
Your wound wasn’t deep, a bullet just grazed you and you only needed a few stitches, you were out two hours later. You went home by foot, because walking always cleared your mind, and damn it needed to be clear right now. Anyway, you weren’t living too far away.
You just saved the Batman ! YOU JUST SAVE THE BATMAN !!
Little, tall, of colors, of all religions, big, thin, old, young, disabled, gay, bi, pan, ace, aro, trans, mothers, sisters, orphans, poor, rich… I love you and wish you all a very HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY. ♥
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis jumping for Philippe Halsman in 1951
“Starting in the early 1950s I asked every famous or important person I photographed to jump for me. I was motivated by a genuine curiosity. After all, life has taught us to control and disguise our facial expressions, but it has not taught us to control our jumps. I wanted to see famous people reveal in a jump their ambition or their lack of it, their self-importance or their insecurity, and many other traits.” - Philippe Halsman
“I feel like I’m still so much on the come up and I still have so far to go. What’s next? I don’t even know. I want to be doing a bunch of movies. I want to be in different movies and play different characters and at the same time, I want to be on your TV every week with Famous in Love. I just want people to fall in love with my characters and really grow with them.”
I didn’t plan on doing anything for the briskly made up character but I ended up enjoying the design so much I decided to do a quick sketch of her. She actually gave me a cool idea; in a special edition of the album, she, and any of the celebrities that show up (either by appearance in some form or by name only) on the Road Trip will be included in bonus pages that give short blurbs about the character in question.
So quick blurb about her: Marealyn Monroan is one of Equestria’s biggest stars in the acting business. She’s an acting powerhouse and is said to be able to play nearly any role given to her. The very epitome of a flirt, she’s known to give her fans kisses, but to many fans’ disappointment she’s happily married to a famous Ewetuber (bruh I’m such trash for that pun).
Speaking of though, given the nature of the Road Trip project I might end up doing more spoofs of famous celebrities every now and then. If I do, what celebrity (or celebrities if they’re in something like a band or group) would you like to see a spoof of (living or dead, any occupation not just movies)??
Being such an amazing role model I admire you and your ability to inspire so many people. You have taught me to never give up on things that I want most, and that sometimes it takes pushing through the really difficult times to reach the best ones. You’ve got the biggest heart and you’re constantly giving to people around you, and it’s inspiring to see the genuine acts you do, whether it’s surprising fans, going to visit hospitals, buying packages for fans and personalizing them, or just spending hours online with us. You show us the beauty in the small things and you never let negativity break you. Despite the awful things you’ve experienced, you’ve always remained grounded, mature, and professional.
Sharing your vulnerability through your lyrics Your lyrics show the purity and vulnerability of your experiences. I am so thankful that you open up and trust us with sharing those times with us in the form of music. Not everyone is capable of putting their emotions and feelings into words, but your lyrics help captivate the feelings for us. Despite the backlash you get for being so open about specific experiences, we appreciate the songs you make out of them. Going through heart breaking experiences is painful in it’s self, but to share those stories with the world takes significant amount of courage. Thanks for being so brave.
Recognizing friends and family Showing how important your friends and family are to you is something that is wonderful. I love that you have people that lift you up, support you and have a shoulder to lean on. You’re so caring towards other people and as fans who care so much about you, it makes us feel happy to know that throughout the obstacles you face, that you have people to reassure you of your worth, and to remind you of what you are not. Like you do for us.
Making concerts so special You always go to extra mile to make things special for fans, and we always notice. Between your cute, creative, and beautiful outfits, every tour you always surprise and blow us away. You capture the songs perfectly with the outfit you assign to each. Your backset videos, speeches from friends, random videos and dancers, are all such a special touch. And never mind the uniqueness of always managing to elevate above the crowd in various ways over the years. And lastly, bringing special guests and surprising the crowds beyond everything you already plan. You put so much thought and effort into your performance and tours, and we love it all.
Making eye contact and smiling at fans while performing There is no better feeling to me than making direct eye contact at a concert with someone that means so much to me. It makes us feel so special, valued and important during that moment to have you looking directly at us smiling and singing. I swear that I will never forget the moments that I lived this. It is a moment that filled me with such intense happiness that I will forever relive that moment in my mind.
Saying motivating and inspiring speeches while on stage Sometimes hearing things from your role model directly is the exact push that you need. When addressing friendships, relationships, self worth, you seem to just beautiful express and say exactly what we need to hear. Your words of encouragement help us in ways that you might not ever understand. Hearing you, who we look up to everyday, say that we’re not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know us, or that we’re not going no where just because we haven’t gotten to where we want to go yet, is uplifting and I repeat it to myself so often. When facing hard times it makes it easier knowing that you’ve faced similar situations, and kept pushing through. We don’t feel like you’re talking to thousands of people. We feel it so personally. It’s so reassuring to hear what we are and what we are not, because in a world where so many of us doubt ourselves, it feels nice to have that reminder. Your motive to make the audience feel worthy, appreciate, valued, and loved in a world that is so hateful, is just beautiful.
For being so generous Seeing how generous you are towards so many causes is truly inspiring. Whether it is a fan who is facing a life threatening battle and you’ve donated to their go fund me, or another situations where individuals are in need of financial assistance. You have made a huge impact in so many peoples lives through your donations to schools, hospitals, cancer, etc. You are a giving person and that is one of many beautiful qualities you hold. Alternatively, you’re generous with your time. The amount of time you’ve spent surprising fans and taking time to make it extra special shows how big your heart is, especially on days you could do anything in the world, you chose to go make someones dream come true.
Being our friend when no one else is Whether you know it or not, you manage to give so many of us a sense of comfort and reassurance that we aren’t alone. We all go through experiences and fall out with friends, but despite the fact that we haven’t met, you’ve made me feel like I’m not alone. Your genuine attention to fans and how much you’ve done for us makes me feel appreciated. You have experienced so many things similar to us, so when life is hard, having your speeches and music to turn to, is an escape like no other.
Making your concerts feel like home It’s not everyday that you can go to something and have all your problems and battles put aside/out of your mind for a while. Your concerts feel like a safe place and in that moment nothing else matters, except the focus on the concert. You make the entire night such an incredible experience that it not only makes the moment enjoyable, but it gives memories to continue to look back on and smile about on bad days. You give off such a good and special vibe that lingers on for days, months, and years.
Always showing how much you love and care about fans Through your interactions with us while you’re on stage, following us on social media, liking posts on instagram and Tumblr, and being so sweet and smiley during meet and greets makes us so happy. Taking the time after giving your all on stage for hours, to go and say hello and thank you to ‘decked out’ fans in a post concert meet up is so kind of you. You truly take the time to make it known that you care about your fans and not every famous person does that. We love you and it’s reassuring to know that we are equally as important to you, as you are to us.
For never letting negativity break you You have been the best role model in the world. Yes, the world. You have been through so many challenges throughout your fame. I don’t know why the world can’t appreciate and value you like we do. But despite the fact that so many people have tried to break you, you’re ability to stay true to yourself and keep going is the most inspiring thing in the world. Instead of speaking out and making huge mistakes that could ruin your character, you’ve handled everything so gracefully. The ability to go through the hardest of rainstorms, and keep walking, is what we’ve learned from you. Thank you Taylor.
Donnie practiced for his role in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2.
You know, in China they have a type of fiction called wuxia (武俠 - võ hiệp, just like the name of that Donnie’s movie), where people have really exaggerated kungfu skills and interact with each others within their community called wulin (武林 - võ lâm).
So there is one famous skill every kungfu person has to know that called qinggong (輕功 - khinh công), which basically they “move swiftly and lightly at superhuman speed, and perform gravity-defying moves such as gliding on water surfaces, scaling high walls and mounting trees” (wikipedia).
Yeah that greatly exaggerated, but looking at those photo of Donnie, I can tell you that he is the closest existence to that type of legendary ability though.