eventually idk

I had a dream where there was a reality TV-show called Chuck vs the Alt-Right where this random Chuck would mess with bad guys and protect immigrants and stuff (my dreams are getting way too political lol), but the thing is we never see Chuck. He’s really good at evading cameras or something, idk.

Eventually the TV crew winds up at a Milo Yamsweetpotato event with a whole bunch of protestors and Milo comes out and everyone is yelling, but then bird shit drops on his head! And we all look up to see the bird, and it’s a weird toucan with a floating eye but for some reason holy moly, that’s Chuck! and everyone goes wild as this big Picasso-looking toucan flies around dive-bombing the alt-right.

realizing you’re on the ace spectrum like

“I’d hit that.” “You… you don’t even know them though??”

“Oh come on, everyone has a list of celebrities they’d totally have sex with if they had a chance.” “Haha yeah ok” *internally* what

"Ya so like for the past few years I’ve felt zero attraction to people I wasn’t friends with first?? Lol what’s up with that”

Why did you have to have sex with them?? Couldn’t you just hold it?? Like pee??

“You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like that someday, don’t worry” “……sounds fake but ok”

“Sex is an important part of a relationship! Everyone has sexual needs!” “….sounds fake but ok”

“Dude that girl is so hot” “I know right?? Look at her fucking eyeliner. Goals. The fuck.” “No I meant like… look at that ass” “Are we looking at the same person are you really focussing on her ass look at how visually appealing her outfit is and dont you dare fuckin tell me that eyeliner isnt fierce as hell

“Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things” *puzzle pieces vERY RAPIDLY FALLING INTO PLACE*

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning* i could die a virgin and i would regret absolutely nothing

“What’s your ideal girl like?” “Uh… my best friend?” “Oh cute, you want your girlfriend to be the one who knows you best!” “No I meant I am literally only attracted to my best friend she is my ideal girl please help I am dying”

“We’ve been dating for six months and we still haven’t had sex!!” “Have you marathoned Star Wars together yet?” “Yeah we did that like two weeks ago” “Well what more do you want

*thinking about an attractive woman* *dissecting my entire personality and sexuality to figure out why I’m attracted to her this time* is it the muscles. Oh my god is this a sex thing. Oh my god what the hell is this. Oh my god what the fuck is the wtf the fuck the fUCK

*Next day* Zarya could punch me in the face while eating me out and I’d let her but only because she’s a fictional character and therefore could literally never do that

*writing fanfic* ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS HAVE SEX BC ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE TO ME

(why is that tho. maybe i should look into that *doesnt look into it*)

“What do you find most attractive in a girl?” “Gotta love those strong emotional bonds” “No I meant like what’s a turn-on for you?” “DID I McFUCKING STUTTER”

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning again* sexual attraction should be added to the cryptid wikia

“Yeah sex sounds like a great stress reliever and a nice way to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner(s)” “Well there’s more to it than that…” *The Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know starts playing in my head* “Haha ok buddy”

"There’s more to being ace than just not being interested in having sex or not feeling sexual attraction. In fact there’s a whole spectrum. You may even feel sexual attraction sometimes but still be ace. You can also be gay and ace at the same time.” “…bro.” “Also it’s totally normal.” *sobbing* “…bro. Bro there are words for it there’s an entire list oh my god-”

“-finally.”

2

I don’t draw her too often, since I have a bit of a hard time with her, but I do still enjoy her design! So here she is!

Sooo I was short on time/motivation this past week and basically all I was really able to do was a more seasonally appropriate sidebar image for the ol’ side blog ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Messy doodle of creek for valentine’s day

not to be rude™ but adding to the pining keith hc, do u think that once he finally had lance and was loved by someone he pined after for so long, he’d be terrified to lose him?
bc okay, he was orphaned at a young age, and he lost shiro, who was probably his closest thing to family, for a year, and he was kicked out of the garrison which may have been one of the first times he felt like he belonged somewhere and we saw how he reacted when team voltron almost disbanded
so can you imagine how scared he would be of losing something he wanted for so long? like he will just be laying next to lance and despite being in his arms, he still can’t fall asleep bc he can’t get rid of this awful feeling that he’s going to lose him, so he feels overly protective during missions and he’ll question himself and his relationship and whether or not lance actually cares for him
OR you can look at the other side of it where maybe he just accepts that lance will leave him and so he cherishes every single moment he has with him and is adamant about recording what they do together by writing it down and taking pictures and he feels like he can’t ever get too attached, but then realizes how much he loves lance and starts to panic bc he cares too much and he loves him too much for this to go away and the second that lance seems a bit distant from him, keith will start acting a but more reckless and physically exhausting himself through training to keep his mind off of the imminent breakup that never actually happens
and in either scenario, when lance finds keith back in his own bed and asks why he doesn’t want to sleep with him (lance just assumes he doesn’t feel well or maybe he just needs some alone time), he’s a bit surprised by the look of shock and relief that washes over keith’s face and if those were really just tears that keith was wiping off of his cheeks, well then lance will bring it up in the morning

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College Help Desk (where my answers probably make 0.0001 sense im so sorry) ♥

Answered a few asks! If you need more info or tips just shoot me a message and I’ll do my best to make sense or something ahaha ;;

College me was the worst though – lazy && incompetent && sleep deprived HAHA im glad that’s over. i think. idk. lllloooollll

The Things She Carries, Part 5

Part 1 
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 

All this time later, alone under the light of a nearly-full moon on the front porch of an outbuilding of a B&B called Comanche Ranch — glum, pissed off, and wishing forlornly that her recall of that night were less detailed — she’s just about to say the hell with it and go to bed when she hears what has to be Mulder’s heavy footfall coming around the side of the building.

Sure enough, there he is. What a sight — completely bedraggled, sweat-drenched T-shirt and shorts, wet hair, breathing like he’s just run ten miles. Which, being Mulder, he might actually have done. He sees her standing at the top of the steps and slows to a walk, going from a neutral expression to a sneer as she watches.

“How was your date?” he huffs, one soaked forearm wiping ineffectively at the rivers of sweat on his face.

Fuck you, she thinks, and he looks like he heard her say it out loud.

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I wanted to add the full version of Kii deeply thinking. For a parasite, he turned out super cute in this–