event:florida

LOL I hope they have a massive shootout during church service.

Jesus in Heaven: Why are all y’all here at the same time? Why do you look like swiss cheese?
Pastor: Well. We shot each other.
Jesus: Why’d you do that?
Pastor: We were protecting ourselves!
Jesus: From what?
Pastor: DANGERS!
Jesus: Were you in danger?
Pastor: Well Sharon thought she heard a Mexican rapist –
Sharon: – and I shot at it because it’s my Second Amendment right to shoot at things that scare me –
Pastor: But it was just Joe Nathan –
Jesus: Jonathan?
Joe: Joe Nathan Scruggs, sir, pleased to meet you, I’m a big fan.
Pastor: It was just Joe Nathan coming in late as usual with his bloodhound.
Jesus: And Sharon shot you so you shot her back?
Sharon: No I missed him and got his dog.
Joe: And nobody shoots my dog without consequences because it’s my Second Amendment right to protect my property.
Jesus: So you shot Sharon?
Tabatha: No he shot me, I was trying to push her out of the way.
Jesus: So you shot back at Joe?
Rusty: No I did. Tabatha is my wife and it’s my Second Amendment right to protect my family.
Pastor: Before you know it, Jesus, we were all shootin and well, here we are!
Jesus: Well we don’t have shootouts in Heaven. Did you at least leave your guns down there?
Pastor: No we brought em with us!  It’s our Second Amendment right to protect Heaven!