evenly spread

dex has red hair

i have red hair too, which is pretty awesome. and also horrible, sometimes, because being ginger affects so much more than the just the pigment of your hair. so anyways here are some facts about dex and his hair bc i can relate:

  • he’s so pale
    • he’s so pale
    • even when he kind of manages to get a little darker after a sunburn fades, he’s still paler than everyone else’s normal skin tone
  • he does not tan. ever.
    • yeah sure, he may work on a lobster boat all summer, but buddy, i promise you, he’s not gonna come out of it looking nice and bronze
      • (why do people write fics where he comes back from the summer with a killer tan??? no bro, he probably just looks like a lobster. it sucks)
    • his skin just slowly gets pinker until he has a terrible sunburn, and then sometimes if he’s lucky it will turn out a little tanner when it fades
    • he probably uses at least spf 50, lbr here
      • actually, nah probably higher than that if we’re being honest
      • and he has to apply it like every hour
    • ugh and oh my god, he probably gets splotchy sunburns!!!
      • SPLOTCHY SUNBURNS ARE THE WORST
      • basically you think you’ve put sunscreen everywhere and spread it evenly but NOPE
      • random blotches of your skin will just be bright red while the rest is ridiculously pale and you look like you have some sort of disease-ridden rash
      • it has probably happened on his face and it’s the saddest thing
  • he has freckles for dayssssss (especially after the summer because they come back in full force during that season)
    • freckles everywhere
    • in the most random places
    • some are on his lips and on the back of his knees and his elbows and just very odd places
    • its a never ending cycle of freckles fading while new freckles form
    • he kind of gets a tan through his freckles??? 
      • bc he has so many and as they fade they kind of blotch together and make him look tan, but when you look really close you’re just like, oh, those are just tiny dots bunched together, not the actual pigmentation of your skin
    • he has. SO MANY. freckles on his shoulders
      • if you are of the male specimen, you probably go out shirtless in the summertime, and the sun hits you really hard on your shoulders, and thus, so. many. freckles. there.
      • (this is literally the most prominent place of freckles for redhead boys. please ask my brother and all of my cousins)
  • “does the carpet match the drapes?” ;)
    • why do people ask this
    • he gets this all the time, and it’s not just from people hitting on him
      • PEOPLE JUST GENUINELY WANT TO KNOW FOR SOME REASON???
    • and it’s super awkward
    • especially when they don’t match. bc um. a lot of times they don’t. just so you know.
    • “haha, firecrotch, huh?”
      • will wouldn’t find this funny even if it were accurate
  • back to the sunburn thing, it’s nice in the winter when he doesn’t get fried!! JUST KIDDING BC BLUSHING IS A THING
    • yeah anytime he gets remotely embarrassed or flustered, his face is the color of a tomato okay
    • even if he’s not actually uncomfortable, it still happens
      • “dex, nice shirt, man.” ➝ red face
      • “dude, nice assist!”➝ red face
      • *accidentally bumps into someone* ➝ red face
    • anytime nursey says anything ever, his face is red. i promise you this. i know this to be true
  • HE NEVER WEARS RED
    • or pink or orange, for that matter
    • (but i mean he goes to samwell so the red thing is kind of hard)
    • he unintentionally gravitates towards green and blue clothing bc his mom probably accidentally instilled in him that they compliment his hair as a child
      • this is so real. this is the realest, most relatable thing
    • going to samwell was probably super weird bc he had to start buying spirit wear and stuff and when he did, he realized he didn’t own any other red clothing
  • people always make irish jokes or assume he is irish, especially around st. patricks day
    • dex has no idea if he is irish
  • people always ask if another redhead they know is related to him
    • no
  • he has heard every “ginger” joke under the sun
    • no one has ever actually bullied him for it
    • but everyone makes the same jokes
    • will basically mouths the words as people say them bc he knows them so well at this point
    • he’s not actually bothered or offended, it’s just like… dude. he’s heard this before. you’re not being original
      • it’s very boring and a little irritating
    • but if he gets annoyed or doesn’t laugh people think he is a bad sport, so!!! he laughs them off even though he’s very disinterested and wants to tell them to maybe get some new material so they can actually say something remotely humorous next time
    • and he totally knows its not a big deal at all, bc some people have to deal with racist or homophobic jokes, and this doesn’t remotely compare. it’s just… very eye-roll inducing.
  • he gets horrible bruises for the stupidest shit, and sometimes just randomly and he’s not sure where they came from, bc ya gotta love that sensitive skin!!
  • oh and back to the ginger jokes thing, someone always makes a comment about that redhead temper!!
    • which is kind of unfortunate, bc dex kind of does have some temper issues
    • those jokes do not make him less angry either
      • (dex, seriously man. just chill for a sec)

wow this got really long and i could go on forever and ever but yeah basically this is the gist of it. also i’m aware some of this can apply to lots of people but anyways hooray for redheads!!

Just Add Magic Cake


Yields 2 each 10-inch Pistachio, Strawberry, and Blueberry cakes

The things you’ll need

Ingredients
Blueberry Cake
  • 1 cup frozen blueberries
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • ½ cup unsalted butter at room temperature
  • ¼ cup shortening
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs at room temperature
  • 1 ½ cups flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powderr
  • Pinch of salt
  • ¼ cup milk
  • ¼ cup buttermilk
  • ¼ teaspoon blueberry extract
  • 2 drops fluorescent purple coloring
Pistachio Cake
  • 1 cup unsalted shelled pistachios
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup whole milk
  • ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 4 drops mint green color
  • ½ cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 tablespoons pistachio paste
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3 large eggs
Strawberry Cake
  • 2 eggs
  • ¾ cups strawberry puree
  • ½ teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon strawberry extract
  • 1 ½ cups all purpose flour
  • ¾ cup + 2 tablespoons sugar
  • 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons oil
  • ¼ cup butter at room temperature
Equipment
  • 3 large mixing bowls
  • 3 medium mixing bowls
  • Food processor
  • Whisk
  • Rubber spatula
  • Hand mixer with attachments
  • (3) 10-inch round cake pans
  • 3 cake boards
  • Decorating bags filled with light pink, light green, and light purple buttercream frosting
  • Small offset spatula
  • Large spatula
  • Cake stand

Let’s get started!

Blueberry Cake
  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Cook frozen blueberries and ¼ cup sugar on low until it is a thick jam.
  3. In a small bowl, mix flour, baking powder and salt.
  4. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
  5. Add eggs one at a time and mix until well combined.
  6. Add blueberry extract and mix well.
  7. Add 1/3 of the dry, then the milks, 1/3 of the dry and scrape the bowl down, mixing well between each addition. Mix in the blueberry jam and then the remaining dry ingredients.
  8. Pour batter into a lined cake pan and bake for 35 to 45 minutes.
Pistachio Cake
  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Use a food processor to pulse pistachios until finely ground. Add flour, baking powder and salt and pulse briefly to combine.
  3. In a large bowl, beat together butter, sugar and pistachio paste until light and fluffy.
  4. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating in between and then mix in vanilla extract. Reduce speed to low to add the pistachio mixture and milk mixtures alternately in batches, beginning and ending with pistachio mixture.
  5. Spread batter evenly into a lined 10 inch round cake pan and bake for 40 minutes.
  6. Let cool for 10 minutes in the pan and then remove to cool completely.
Strawberry Cake
  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. In a medium bowl mix eggs, puree and extracts until well combined.
  3. In a large bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.
  4. Add butter and oil and mix until it becomes pebbly.
  5. Add half of the wet ingredients and beat well 1-2 minutes.
  6. Add the rest of the wet ingredients in two parts, beating well between each addition.
  7. Pour batter into a lined 10 inch round cake pan and bake for 35 to 45 minutes.
  8. Let cool for 10 minutes in the pan and then remove to cool completely.

Time to decorate!

  1. Spread a thin layer of green frosting on top of the pistachio cake and then place the strawberry cake on top. Frost the top of the strawberry cake with pink frosting and then place the blueberry cake on top.
  2. Refrigerate the cake for 30 minutes.
  3. Pipe two rows of green frosting on the bottom of the cake and then pink frosting in the middle. Finish the top of the cake off with blue frosting and then smooth with an offset spatula.
  4. Use the spatula to create texture around and on top of the cake.
  5. Sprinkle some silver sugar pearls on top.
Experiment #4 - Request

Requested by: you know the sinners.

Summary: Sherlock and reader hold a Series of Experiments in which they test out several smutty theories with practise. Who thought science would be so fun?

Pairing: Sherlock x reader

Word count: 2,973

Warnings: Rough smut - un-protected, over-stimulation, oral, fingering.

A/N: Dear lord from Heaven, please forgive me.

Enjoy!

Originally posted by estherlune

| One | Two | Three |

“(Y/N),” Sherlock called, “I need you to hand me the silver knife inside of the freezer, please.”

“I’m literally at the other side of London!” She argued through the phone.

“Oh, don’t worry, there’s no hurry.” She hung up and Sherlock breathed out a laugh as he placed his phone at the tiny coffee table by his side.

“You really think she’s coming?”

“Of course she is. She never fails.” Sherlock answered confidently, and then both of them waited patiently for her arrival.

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Chart Shapes

When reading someones chart it is important to look at the general shape of their chart to see their basic nature.

Balanced chart: A balanced chart has an even distribution of planets through the houses. All aspects of this person’s life will be stimulated and while this holds great potential, the energies may be spread too thinly when many goals are pursued at once.

Self-oriented chart: The majority if not all of the planets in a self-oriented chart are in the vertical half of the chart towards the Ascendant. These people usually have a self-directed personality and their energies are focused on self expression and individuality.

Other-oriented chart: This chart is the opposite of the self-oriented chart, the planets will be in the half of the chart towards the Descendant. This chart shape is usually a suggestion that there is a lot of emphasis on the persons relationships in life and that they feel others are more important than the self.

Inward-oriented chart: This is when most of the planets are in the bottom half of the chart, this person’s energies are introverted and focused inwardly.

Outward-oriented chart: Most of the planets are in the top half of the chart and the person’s energy flow is focused towards the world however this person may live in a sort of identity crisis, looking towards an empty centre.

Bowl chart: When all of the planets occupy one half of the chart, it is ideal that if you have a bowl, it is at a slight angle allowing constant replenishment.

Bucket chart: A bowl shaped chart with a planet opposite of the bowl as a handle, seen as a conduit between the sector of the bowl and itself.

Bundle chart: All planets reside in four signs or 120 degrees. Bundles indicate specialists who focuses primarily on those areas in which the planets fall.

See-saw chart: When the planets are in two opposing groups, this indicates that the person may feel pulled in two directions and needs to find a balance.

Locomotive chart: Planets spread evenly across eight signs or 240 degrees, this shape leaves one sector or area of life empty and unexpressed.

Splay chart: Tight bunches of planets in several signs or houses creating a choices for which area of life the person wants to focus on.

Split chart: When the planets are positioned in two unconnected area, the energy flow swings between the two and creates a dual personality.

damn-it-dylan  asked:

How do you publish a book

Book

Cook time: 19-37 months
Serves millions through space and time

Exemple de produits finaux

Ingredients

  • A laptop (pad of paper may be substituted)
  • Several black or blue pens (pencils may be substituted)
  • 60,000 to 130,000 words
  • Several red pens (track changes function on a word processor may be substituted)
  • Life experiences
  • Imagination
  • Patience
  • Non-lethal caffeinated beverages (emphasis on caffeinated)
  • A writing corner or hangout
  • 3 or more beta readers

Instructions

1. Find a suitable location with your laptop or paper, preferably a place outside of your home and/or bedroom (cafes, outdoor patios, etc)

2. Blend life experiences, imagination, non-lethal caffeinated beverages, and patience, and blend on a comfortable setting for 3 to 12 months.

3. Set mixture aside for 1 month and distract yourself doing other things.

4. While consuming non-lethal caffeinated beverages, spread mixture evenly and chop out any lumps, inconsistencies, and deformities that detract from the overall quality of the mixture until satisfactory consistency is achieved (Wait Time: 6-12 months).

5. Package mixture and give it to beta readers for taste testing (Wait Time: 6-12 months).

6. While consuming even more non-lethal caffeinated beverages, blend all beta reader comments and edits, slowly adding more imagination and life experiences while removing any deformities that rise to the surface (Wait Time: 3-6 months).

7. Spread evenly, adding graphic, titular, and miscellaneous decor for aesthetic purposes.

8. Find publisher, or upload to self-publishing website.

9. Deliver product to party-goers, gain reviewers, and market to an audience.

10. While consuming more non-lethal caffeinated beverages to remain on the edge of sanity, rinse and repeat to create the sequel!

Ingredients and instructions may be personalized to individual tastes.

How classes affect their session

Every class alters the parameters of the session in some unique way

Lord- the aspect is aggressive and pushing against the session
Witch- their aspect must change or the session is screwed. They find a massive loophole
Princes- there is too much of their aspect in the session and it has to be cut down
Thieves- their aspect is fragmented and scattered, having no focal point
Knight- there isn’t enough of the aspect. They have to utilize what little there is
Maids- their aspect will soon die without them. They have to create more before that happens
Mage- an aspect disaster is coming down the line

Seer- their aspect’s machinations are so vast that they affect most actions in the session, but nobody knows it (their aspect is the illuminati)
Sylph- the aspect is so horribly low it’s no longer a vital part of the session
Page- their session isn’t aware of how important their aspect really is, being neglected even though it’s secretly valuable
Rogue- their aspect is not evenly spread
Bard- they and their session are aspect timebombs, but nobody wants to admit it
Heir- their aspect is begging to help them, but it is shackled
Muse- the aspect is distant and lost, bordering useless to the session

9

@hpqueernet | introduction event - @ginnyweaslcy, gay albus potter

Albus Potter knew from the beginning his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and beyond that he had been deemed “Harry Potter’s disappointing son” by the media. After growing up in a home where everyone had been filled with so much love and adoration for each other, Albus has never considered for one minute that his parents would have been disappointed in him for being different. But the media was a powerful tool that helped instill the “Harry Potter’s disappointing son” mantra into the heads of thousands, including Albus himself. 

So when the end of his third year rolled around, and Albus had finally admitted to himself that, yeah, he was pretty gay, his first thought was great, another adjective to add to my “Harry Potter’s disappointing son” list. Along with stupid, slytherin, and doesn’t like quidditch he could now add g a y

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White Chocolate Kisses

Summary: Sometimes Phil needs to be taken care of.

Warnings: Smut/// Tags: sub!Phil, top!Phil, powerbottom!Dan, NSFW, cock cage, edging, fleshlight, praise, all that jazz

Beta: @emywright-funpics

Masterlist

Send in prompts


Normally, Dan and Phil don’t do anything special for Valentine’s Day. Going out to dinner just isn’t them, and they can get discount chocolates the next day. This year though, Dan has plans. Lately he’s seen the way the exhaustion and stress is weighing down Phil’s shoulders. For the first time in forever, Dan gets up first and runs out of the flat to get some things for the day. He makes pancakes and wakes Phil up with a kiss on the nose and the plate, alongside of roses.

“Dan, I thought we weren’t doing anything,” Phil complains sleepily, fumbling for his glasses.

Smiling, Dan cuts up a piece of pancake and feeds it to Phil. “Yeah, but it’s okay. I’ve got plans for you tonight, sweetheart.”

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A certain someone wanted to know how I did my craft foam fabric stamps for Moana, so I wrote up a tutorial!

How to Make Custom Stamps

1. You will need craft foam 6mm, cardboard or foamboard, a drawing thing, a cutting thing, a painting thing, a gluing thing, and paint suitable for whatever it is you’re stamping (in my case, fabric). You can use 3mm craft foam, but I like the 6mm, because it’s more forgiving when I press down on the stamp (in case I accidentally put paint on the cardboard backing and press down hard). But 6mm is pretty hard to cut, so up to you.

2. Cut your design out of the craft foam. You may need to draw a template on a separate piece of paper or cardstock and then trace it on. Remember that if your image isn’t symmetrical, you need to reverse the image, or you will have a backwards stamp! On cutting 6mm craft foam for small pieces, you only need the top edge to look nice, so if you’re having trouble cutting all the way through 6mm foam, you can actually just rip out the design like a perforated edge if you’ve cut deep enough. If the jagged edge on the bottom bothers you, you can trim it down with scissors or sand it. For more detailed designs, (like the mouth on this design), you can make deep cuts and then heat it up with a heatgun or over the stovetop for a few seconds; that will make the foam contract, and it will open up your lovely details.

3. Cut out a suitably sized piece of your cardboard or foamboard. You want something sturdy and flat for your stamp back, since you’ll be pressing down on this, and you want the pressure to be pretty evenly spread. Don’t make it too big, though, or you won’t really know where your stamp is going.

4. Glue the foam to the cardboard backing. Make sure to press down on it flat, like with a book, so you don’t have any weird lumps from clumped glue (this is mostly just applicable to 3mm craft foam designs).

5. Use your painting thing to apply a light coat of paint onto the stamp. Don’t put too much, or it gets pretty sloppy. Technically, you should use a brayer, which is a little rolling instrument thing you can find at craft stores, but I am cheap, and I prefer the splotchy distressed look of using a sponge brush.

6. Go out and stamp all the things! Get used to how much paint you actually need and how much pressure you need to apply BEFORE applying it to your finished project, because ain’t no way you want to try to fix a bad stamp.

Chill » Conor Maynard

Requests: Can you do an imagine where you’re dating Conor and get on well with the boys. You’re all round Conor’s, the boys are watching footie and you’re feet are up on the couch and up over jacks lap as you’re leaned up against Conor with his arm wrapped around you. And you’re all screaming at the game and eating pop corn. Fluff. Fluffy sheet.

Can you write something about Conor fracturing his ankle and y/n looking after him?


You had been seeing Conor for around six months now, and his friends and family had only found out two months ago, as the both of you had decided to keep your relationship a secret for a while. Gradually, you were introduced to his brother, his friends, his parents and his sister but you had yet to be introduced to his fans. You were so glad that you got on well with the people Conor had chosen to surround himself with, albeit not getting along with his brother at first because it meant that you could hang out whenever you wanted.

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anonymous asked:

Where do you think someone who knows maybe 5 words/phrases in French should start if they're going to France in two months (i.e. I am) ? I really don't want to just be speaking Spanish and English in France haha

Wow that is quite the predicament you’ve got there. I would say use some language learning apps like Duolingo and Memrise (my personal favourite). Remember to use them every day, and that the best way to learn is to spread it evenly not do one massive learning session once a week. A little bit every day goes a long way.

Here is a list of a whole bunch of PDFs of English books in French eg Harry Potter and The Hunger Games series’. If you’ve previously read the books then you’ll be able to focus more on the language learning part rather than the actual plot and getting lost when trying to figure out what’s going on. Here is also a website where you can read and listen to books in French with the English on the other side, so if you get lost then it’s there to help you learn. Write down new words that you find and look them up after you have finished that chapter, that way you focus more on the book and don’t get confused with sentence structure.

Look up French music and when you find a song that you like, go and look at the lyrics and see what you can translate for yourself, then find an actual translation and see how close you were. Write down words that you don’t know/understand/recognise and look them up. Write down new words so you can look back at them later. Do the same with some French YouTubers. Some have English subtitles and are actually there to help you learn french whilst still being like normal English vloggers. I really like Antastesia as she makes videos in English too.

In terms of translating stuff, I find WordReference really helpful. It’s a website and an app where you can look up words in English and French (and other languages). It’s much better than Google Translate, as it gives you possible translations of words, and what they mean. So if you wanted to know what something meant in a specific context then it would give you different options and you choose the one that best fits the situation you need it for. I don’t know anything other than Google Translate for phrases (other than Memrise or Duolingo), so if you have specific phrases then I think Google Translate would be the best, but make sure to double check the words in the sentences with WordReference before you use it as some can be wildly wrong. And, of course, you can just google it and see what comes up. 

For help with conjugating verbs, I recently found these two sites (x) (x) to be really useful. 

Write down any questions you have about the language and then if you have a teacher or someone who knows French either online or in real life, then ask them.

Practice speaking/writing as much as you can. Find someone to help you with the language and use them as a language buddy. If you can find someone online, even better. You most likely won’t know them so you can use all of the basic small talk that you will use in France. 

For learning the words for objects around the house try writing the names on sticky notes and placing it on the object, this way you’ll remember the word when you see the object.

Learn how to ask for tickets/directions/suggestions for places to eat. These are very important if you are new to a place and doesn’t just apply to France. Also, when learning how to ask for things, remember to learn some possible answers to these questions, as when you ask, you probably want to understand their answer, right?

Read articles or things in french out loud to practice pronunciation. Do the same with writing. Say the sentence you want to write in French out loud. Speak each word as you write it down, and when you’ve finished writing it down, say the sentence out loud again. 

Mnemonics and puns are your bet friends for remembering certain words. For example, when remembering ou (or) from où (where), I remember it by the phrase where is the graveyard, as the accent on the u is called Accent Grave and où means where. 

For a brief rundown of uses of accents and how to pronounce them, I have a post here of my notes from a French class where we did just that.

In terms of writing accents online, French.typeit.org is really good. Basically, it just lets you add accents to letter then you copy and paste it to wherever you need it. Woo.

Learn the grammar rules. I know it’s boring, hard, and confusing, but trust me, once you learn it your life will be a whole lot easier. Speaking of, grammar books are better than phrase books in this sense as with grammar books you can actually learn the structure of sentences and learn how to make them yourself where as with phrase books you’re more spoon fed.

Finally, there’s a whole lot of French blogs with lots of vocab words and grammar posts to look at and learn from. One of my personal favourites is @frenchaise . They were the first blog I came upon when starting out in the French Tumblr community and all of their posts are top notch. Highly recommend you check them out.

There are a ton more resources on the web (as the kool kidz say) that you can find but these are just a few that I use. These are just a few tips to hopefully help you survive on your trip. Bonne chance!

You Have a Daughter? » Joe Sugg

Request: Could you do 10 and 17 for Joe please? :)x


You were just 7-years-old when you met Joe Sugg for the first time; you had just moved to the small village of Lacock with your mum after her and your dad’s messy divorce. You and Joe immediately became best friends, bonding over your weirdness and love of the outdoors, and you would be each other’s confidants for years to come. Joe was always there when you needed him and in return, you would be there for him. His family became yours and yours’ his and after six years of thinking of the boy as your brother, your feelings began developing and becoming more romantic.

You were 14 when you shared your first kiss with the youngest Sugg in an empty classroom on the last day of Year 9 and you were so embarrassed that you had kissed him that you ran off, avoiding him for all of summer. The Saturday before you went back to school in Year 10, your mum forced you to go over the Sugg’s house for a BBQ. You were greeted at the door by the oldest Sugg sibling, who immediately engulfed you in her embrace.

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