even-though-I-have-no-beard-lol

Hi fucking idiots and mental illness :) Just got back from an all night skiing sesh but I’m not tired, In fact I feel recharged and healthy. I doubt you slob fucks would know anything about that though. Pot smoker idiots. Yes I am proof that it is possible to lead an active lifestyle and be a full time blogger at the same time. Lol. I feel pity whenever I see you fat slobs selfies, because you clearly have never lived a full, active lifestyle for even one week in your life. Fucking heroin junkies… Btw, check out my new beard sculpt. No I didn’t go to a salon, did it myself with a pair of scissors. Same way I shaved my head and I’d never get a haircut any other way. Never cut myself shaving, either, because I always have some form of facial hair. Probably gonna trim my eyelashes tomorrow, not that you fucks would know anything about about that or any form of grooming or personal hygiene. 

Sometimes Dan and Phil talk about nothingness until they fall asleep. They’re laying side by side looking up at the ceiling when Dan asks “Have you seen Joey’s glitter beard on Instagram?” Phil smiles and nods even though Dan can’t see him “Yea. I like it actually. It suits him in an odd way. Should I grow out my beard and glitter it?” Dan laughs. “I wouldn’t love you anymore if you had a glitter beard.” Phil giggles and attempts a serious voice, “You know, I thought you where my true love Daniel but if you can’t accept my future glitter beard I don’t see how this could work.” Dan laughs again, the loud one that seems to come directly from his core, “I’m your true love am I? It sounds like Cinderella.” Phil grabs Dan’s hand “I can be your prince in shining armor.” He says, kind of seriously, maybe. “Ha, my prince in shining armor, as well as a matching shining and glittering beard.” At that they both laugh curling into one another until they eventually fall asleep with huge smiles on their faces, dreaming of princes with glittering beards and of each other.