123 Ideas for Character Flaws
  1. Absent-minded - Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious, forgetful.
  2. Abusive - Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another.
  3. Addict - One who is addicted to a compulsive activity. Examples: gambling, drugs, sex.
  4. Aimless - Devoid of direction or purpose.
  5. Alcoholic - A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess.
  6. Anxious - Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.
  7. Arrogant - Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish.
  8. Audacious - Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient.
  9. Bad Habit - A revolting personal habit. Examples: picks nose, spits tobacco, drools, bad body odour.
  10. Bigmouth - A loud-mouthed or gossipy person.
  11. Bigot - One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
  12. Blunt - Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque.
  13. Bold - In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude; impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious.
  14. Callous - They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold.
  15. Childish - Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile.
  16. Complex - An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. (List specific complex.)
  17. Cruel - Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings.
  18. Cursed - A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune, placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers for it. Damned.
  19. Dependent - Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another.
  20. Deranged - Mentally decayed. Insane. Crazy. Mad. Psychotic.
  21. Dishonest – Given to or using fraud, cheating; deceitful, deceptive, crooked, underhanded.
  22. Disloyal - Lacking loyalty. Unfaithful, perfidious, traitorous, treasonable
  23. Disorder - An ailment that affects the function of mind or body. (List the disorders name if they have one.) See the Mental Disorder List.
  24. Disturbed - Showing some or a few signs or symptoms of mental or emotional illness. Confused, disordered, neurotic, troubled.
  25. Dubious - Fraught with uncertainty or doubt. Undecided, doubtful, unsure.
  26. Dyslexic - Affected by dyslexia, a learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words.
  27. Egotistical - Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance. Boastful, pompous.
  28. Envious - Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; covetous, jealous.
  29. Erratic - Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behaviour. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange.
  30. Fanatical - Fanatic outlook or behaviour especially as exhibited by excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions on some subject.
  31. Fickle – Erratic, changeable, unstable - especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.
  32. Fierce - Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid.
  33. Finicky - Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please; fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy, critical, picky, prissy, pernickety.
  34. Fixated - In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy and manifested in immature or neurotic behaviour that persists throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation.
  35. Flirt -To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease.
  36. Gluttonous - Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable.
  37. Gruff - Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly.
  38. Gullible - Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped.
  39. Hard - A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted.
  40. Hedonistic - Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
  41. Hoity-toity- Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behaviour, flighty.
  42. Humourless - The inability to find humour in things, and most certainly in themselves.
  43. Hypocritical - One who is always contradicting their own beliefs, actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite.
  44. Idealist - One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.
  45. Idiotic - Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless.
  46. Ignorant - Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge.
  47. Illiterate - Unable to read and write.
  48. Immature - Emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish.
  49. Impatient - Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant.
  50. Impious - Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers.
  51. Impish - Naughtily or annoyingly playful.
  52. Incompetent - Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty.
  53. Indecisive - Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure.
  54. Indifferent - The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless.
  55. Infamy - Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act that affects how others view them.
  56. Intolerant - Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions.
  57. Judgemental - Inclined to make and form judgements, especially moral or personal ones, based on one’s own opinions or impressions towards others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation, occupation, etc.
  58. Klutz - Clumsy. Blunderer.
  59. Lazy - Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.
  60. Lewd - Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious.
  61. Liar - Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly.
  62. Lustful - Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires.
  63. Masochist - The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
  64. Meddlesome - Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering.
  65. Meek - Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness.
  66. Megalomaniac - A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
  67. Naïve - Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgement.
  68. Nervous - Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy.
  69. Non-violent - Abstaining from the use of violence.
  70. Nosey - Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive.
  71. Obsessive - An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone.
  72. Oppressor - A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority.
  73. Overambitious - Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement.
  74. Overconfident - Excessively confident; presumptuous.
  75. Overemotional - Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person.
  76. Overprotective - To protect too much; coddle.
  77. Overzealous - Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea.
  78. Pacifist - Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases)
  79. Paranoid - Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others.
  80. Peevish - Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious, discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery.
  81. Perfectionist - A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.
  82. Pessimist - A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable or to take the gloomiest possible view.
  83. Pest - One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag.
  84. Phobic – They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. Examples: Dark, Spiders, Cats
  85. Practical - Level-headed, efficient, and unspeculative. No-nonsense.
  86. Predictable - Easily seen through and assessable, where almost anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or known them even for a short time.
  87. Proud - Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride.
  88. Rebellious - Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.
  89. Reckless - Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences.
  90. Remorseless - Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless.
  91. Rigorous - Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures.
  92. Sadist - The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
  93. Sadomasochist - Both sadist and masochist combined.
  94. Sarcastic - A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely.
  95. Sceptic - One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.
  96. Seducer - To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance.
  97. Selfish - Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.
  98. Self-Martyr - One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and always for a selfish cause or reason.
  99. Self-righteous - Piously sure of one’s own righteousness; moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious.
  100. Senile - Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age or disease.
  101. Shallow - Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious.
  102. Smart Ass - Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times, especially in arguments.
  103. Soft-hearted - Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need, and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing so.
  104. Solemn - Deeply earnest, serious, and sober.
  105. Spineless - Lacking courage. Cowardly, wimp, lily-livered, gutless.
  106. Spiteful - Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for resentment. Vengeful.
  107. Spoiled - Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self-care or money management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention.
  108. Squeamish - Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted.
  109. Stubborn - Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bull-headed. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.
  110. Superstitious - An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome.
  111. Tactless - Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others.
  112. Temperamental - Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional.
  113. Theatrical - Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘centre stage’.
  114. Timid -Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and violence.
  115. Tongue-tied - Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.
  116. Troublemaker - Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally.
  117. Unlucky - Marked by or causing misfortune; ill-fated. Destined for misfortune; doomed.
  118. Unpredictable - Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are so chaotic it’s impossible to know what they are going to do next.
  119. Untrustworthy - Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber.
  120. Vain - Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic, narcissistic.
  121. Weak-willed - Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed.
  122. Withdrawn - Not friendly or Sociable. Aloof.
  123. Zealous - A fanatic.
🌿✨ Finnish Midsummer Juhannus spells ✨🌿

Juhannus was originally a celebration for Ukko the supreme god of weather and harvest. It was also a time for making magic since the spirit world was more active at the time of the white nights. A loud feasting and drinking brought luck in love as well as a good harvest and kept the evil spirits at bay.

1. Roll in dew

If you roll around naked in a field, your future spouse will appear in your life within a year. Dew was believed to have a healing effect and rolling in it was supposed to make you beautiful and healthy. Earlier, dew was even collected in cloths and pressed into bottles for the year to come.

2. Put a spell on a field

Find a four-leafed clover from the yard in the evening. Hide the clover under your shirt, next to your bosom. When the clock strikes midnight, let your hair loose and run to the field. Go around the field three times. When the person of your fancy will eat bread made out of the wheat from that specific field, they will fall in love with you.

3. Collect seven flowers

Collect seven different types of flowers from as many meadows. When going to bed, put the bouquet underneath your pillow. You will see “the one” in your dream. Flowers and plants have an important role in Midsummer celebrations. Previously, it was common to scatter tree leaves on the floors and build tree houses in the yards. Even cows were decorated with garlands, so as to secure a good year for the cattle and milk production.

4. Sweep naked

Sweep your bedroom floor naked, just a red thread tied around your waist, and the ghost of your love will greet you.

5. Tie a sauna whisk, vihta

Vihtas are always made for the Midsummer sauna. They are usually made out of birch as its fresh leaves are soft and have a lovely fragrance. For your magic spell, the Midsummer bath whisk should be made out of eight different tree and flower types. After the sauna, throw the whisk on the roof of the sauna. Climb up after it and see whereto the stem of the whisk points. That is the direction from which your future spouse will come.

6. Make a bonfire

The smoke of the bonfire will turn to the person who will find their spouse next. When the flames start to go out, jump over the bonfire to bring luck in love.

7. Look into a mirror

When you put two mirrors opposite each other on a midsummer night, you can see your future spouse in the reflection of the other.

8. Listen to the first sound

In the wee hours of the night, climb up somewhere high – on a hill, on top of a fell or a big rock. To a place where it is easy to hear surrounding sounds. Your future spouse will come from the same direction as the first sound of the morning. If you hear music, it means an approaching wedding. If you hear a child crying, it is a sign of birth. The number of cuckoo sounds tells how many years you have to wait until you find love.

A Summary of Power Rangers

- Good use of Kanye West songs
- Bumble Bee (transformers reference)
- Original Power Rangers theme
- Altogether good soundtrack
- Alpha the sarcastic droid

Trini - Yellow Ranger (aka unkillable lesbian aka badass dork)
- Hates people
- Casually gay
- Could kill everyone in the room
- Loves with all her heart
- Doesn’t die like wowowow
- Pure
- Loves her new family of misfits
- A real badass angel who deserves kisses from girls

Kimberly - Pink Ranger (aka sinamon roll aka my bi baby)
- Best friends with Yellow
- More than likely bi
- Loyal and friendly
- Awesome hair cutting skills
- Has done bad things but is trying to make up for it
- Cutie pie
- Awesome and brave
- Will fight anyone for her new family (especially Blue)

Zack - Black Ranger (aka edgy emo boi aka a real softie who loves his mom)
- Emo af edge lord
- Sarcastic and reckless
- A sweetheart really who’s not afraid to cry
- Loud but kind
- Loves his lesbian bff
- Takes care of his mother and loves her to bits
- Loves innuendos and being the class clown
- Scared to be left alone but finds a place with his new family

Billy - Blue Ranger (aka badass angel aka pure badass angel who blows shit up)
- On the spectrum and very open about it (thank you Power Rangers for doing that)
- Has an inside joke with Red
- Good and pure and wholesome
- Extremely smart and amazing
- Loves country music.. like really loves it
- Thanks people all the time for being his friend
- Cares deeply about everyone (including his mother)
- The actual human representation of all things good in this world

Jason - Red Ranger (aka likes slapping bad guys aka loves and cares about everyone even cows)
- Has a connection with Beefcake the cow
- Not possibly straight
- Loves Twenty One Pilots
- Selfless and honestly does love his dad even if his dad can be a dick
- Actually pure and tries to help his loved ones
- Best friends with Blue
- Slaps people for his new found family
- Protective and won’t take your shit

Altogether Power Rangers was awesome, wholesome and deserves all the awards. They didn’t kill there lesbian and they were respectful with everybody differences. 100/10 would recommend.

V Headcannons

In ode of the upcoming V Route (since in some areas, IT’S AUGUST WOO) I’ve decided to address some V Headcannons that I personally think are completely plausible and holy fuck I love this man here we go

•He loves to cuddle. He’s not used to it, but he sure as hell loves it. Fight me on this I want my boy to be hugged and safe and warm and-

•V probably has sloth merchandise. He likes the way they live and finds them extremely adorable and thank the gods for this pure man and for these pure animals Jesus fucking Christ

•V’s pictures each have #Aesthetic names like, it’s canon one of the names are “Her Shadow” and another “Hope’s Beginning” so fuck yeah he’s aesthetic as hell


•V wears a lot of overalls and sweaters while traveling abroad to take photographs. He likes the feeling and likes how he doesn’t need to wear a belt. I love this man holy shi

•He has a dream journal… if anyone read it they’d be weirded out smh this boy has some weird ass dreams lemme tell you


•Remember how V tried telling Jumin he had terminal cancer in Baehee’s Route? Yeahhh I really hope he faked being sick so he could stay home sometimes during his schooldays. In those days he’d prob take pictures or stare at a wall and think about sloths or smth

•V used to have a cat when he was younger so maybe then he could finally get some pussy
Oh my fucking gods just pour bleach in my eyeballs now fucking hell

•When his sight began to fail, V bought so many sunglasses holy shit he probably has those steampunk sunglasses or even those cheesy five dollar ones with the bright colors and weird shapes. But he probably also has a small collection of fucking expensive as hell sunglasses that are probably worth more than my college tuition jfc

•V tips like a champ like for real he probably tried tipping 200% once and nearly made the waiter faint because it was a multi hundred dollar meal with Jumin who you fucking KNOW eats that expensive good good

•V’s phone battery is probably higher than your stoner cousin rn because he never knows when he doesn’t have his professional camera on him and needs to take a picture of like a flower (or a sloth)

•I stg V probably has read Harry Potter a fuck ton of times no joke and has merchandise and owns all of the movies. If you say a quote, he’ll probably tell you the book, chapter, page, paragraph, and sentence tbh what a dork

•I really hope V had an emo phase and when he first looked at Mint Eye!Saeran was probably thinking “yo what the fuck did Rika show you my old facebook account or what” even tho he’s too nice to say that shit out loud

•V hates chiffon cakes

•I really hope V likes camping for his photography. Like, you won’t hear from him for weeks (lol I bet whenever V goes AWOL the RFA just thinks he’s camping) and once nearly got mauled by a bear trying to take a picture of it (Yoosung’s favorite picture jfc)

•V uses contact lens and one time tore his right lens while swimming and started crying because that was his last right lens fucking hell

•V is such a fucking cutie when it comes to dates like holy shit what a gentleman. Like he’s vanilla af to dating (like do you really think he would date around?) so he tries his best to swoon the MC and it fuCKING WORKS TAKE ME

•He likes to wear eyeliner and once wore sparkly fingernail polish because he’s glitter af

•Doesn’t really watch anime that much, but probably has like a top ten that he likes. He once tried to watch Attack on Titan and nearly cried what a soft boy I love him

•He likes left Twix because Jumin likes right Twix and he thinks it’s funny what a cutie <3

•He likes planting flowers randomly in his house. One time he planted a sunflower next to his head and woke up to a butterfly on his nose aww
Long story short he sneezed -o-

•Alongside his sunglasses collection, you fucking bet your left titty that he has a flower crown collection. Rika tried getting rid of them while they dated, but he hid them and wears them while he goes camping. Smol flower boy uwu

•When he was younger he wanted a fantasy-like wedding but now our smol boy just wants to be loved by someone who won’t FUCKING SCRATCH HIS EYES OUT UHHH

•Used to be a crybaby when he was younger, now he knows how to cry on the inside more 
Someone please pet this boy’s cotton candy hair and tell him it’s gonna be alright ;-;

•You know those kids who would wake up hella early to watch cartoons?
V wasn’t one of them bye

•V wore reading glasses when he was little fight me on this

•V has a blog to help aspiring photographers and totally gives them #1 tips and is uber sweet abt it and holy fuck take my soul

•Once confused a fox and a cat while his eyesight was shit. He brought it in his house and everything. Jumin visited the next day and guess what he thought it was a cat too. It took a surprisingly long time for them to realize cats don’t look like foxes.
Hint he took the fox to the vet and found out after the secretary screamed

•Hates killing bugs but hates bugs

•V’s the kind of person who’s always buying lip balm but always losing them too like if you look under his couch he probably has like twenty down there

•Probably doesn’t take a lot of selfies, but when he does he looks bomb af and makes Zen reconsider his entire life

•Wanna bet my college savings that V has a really cute back tattoo?

•Once milked a cow. He asked permission and was uber polite to the cow, even apologized to it because he thought he was hurting it. Pet its baby and hugged the smol cow. V thinks cows are pretty.

•Once he came home after visiting Jumin and took a shower. Somehow his drain was filled with white cat hair.

•Once gave Saeyoung a kazoo. He regrets it.

•V is probably the type of person who leaves the empty cereal box in the panty and an empty carton of milk in the fridge. He means well but sometimes he just stares at it and decides somehow it’ll be easier to put it back instead of in the trash bin. He lives alone so it’s not like he’s being mean to anyone lol

•Cut his thumb with a spoon once (actually happened to me once, to this day I wonder how the fuck did I manage that) so V only has nineteen spoons now.

•Has a weird scar on his head from a shelf breaking while he was under it. Jumin had a professional interior designer plan out a “safer” living room for him. V was too nice to tell Jumin that it was silly and too embarrassed to admit that he’s just bad at installing things.

•Not a headcannon, just wondering. Do you think V has blue armpit hair?

•Has flower pillowcases but otherwise has plain sheets. Flower boy -3-

•Has a hobby of photoshopping Jumin’s face onto cats. He once accidentally sent it in a chatroom with Zen in it. Freaked the hell out of Zen and apologized, even though he found it kinda funny.

•Every once in awhile, he likes making cool shapes with his smoking pipe and shows them to Zen, smoking bros.

•He doesn’t play video games, but used to indulge himself in a few of Yoosung’s talks about LOLOL. What a sweetie

•Likes crunchy things, probably has like a lot of crunchy, dried fruits and vegetables in his pantry. Him and Zen snack between V using Zen as a model for photos. ZEN has V recommend him brands and his favorites.

•V tried chewing gum a few times, but always ended up swallowing it by accident so he decides he’d rather not. He also doesn’t like how sweet a lot of the brands are.

•A total dork and probably has a lot of movie dates with MC. They probably eat some of his crunchy fruits I mentioned above and drink champagne out of mugs. Once V got scared during a movie and spilled his drink on MC (and in the fruit but he doesn’t care about that) and offered to let her wear some of his pajamas. Nearly had a nosebleed when he saw (ha…) her

•Kinda wimpy when it comes to horror movies, but likes watching them in a big theatre so he knows he isn’t alone.

•Did I already say he is a cuddlebug? Yeah? Too bad, I love this dork and he needs cuddles -^-

That’s basically all I can manage rn if I have any typos it’s because I’m too lazy to proofread.

I learned something while writing these headcannons. It takes a special talent to write them, a talent I do not have but whatever they’re fun to write.


176. We are not allowed to put a cow on the roof of Hogwarts.

“Explain to me again how you got the cow on the roof,” Professor McGonagall ordered, staring up at the top of the school from the balcony they were standing on.

“It was pretty simple, actually,” Sirius explained, “We just got some hay and lured it into the school, through the corridors, and up the stairs until we reached the balcony we’re standing on currently and it hopped up onto the roof. Simple.”

“How did you get it through the castle without anyone noticing?” The professor asked bewildered.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure several students noticed,” Peter answered, yelping when James kicked his ankles, but finishing determinedly, “I just don’t think they cared.”

Professor McGonagall ignored the two of them, “Where did you even get the cow in the first place?”

“The barman over at the Hogs Head has a few,” James answered.

Professor McGonagall paused for a few moments, digesting the information in her mind before simply asking, “Why?”

“Sometimes I find it best not to ask that question and simply accept the facts as they are presented to you,” Remus answered honestly.

The annoyed professor sighed and pointed to the cow, “Just get it off of the roof. Now.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sirius said with a cheeky salute, before turning to the cow on the roof, “Come here Rufus.”

The cow ignored him.

“Pretty sure his name isn’t Rufus,” James commented.

“Pretty sure it was,” Sirius argued.

“Wasn’t Rufus the one with the weird spotting on its back?” Peter asked.

“No, that was Paxton,” Remus answered, “Remember? Because Sirius made that awful Pox joke right after?”

“Awful?” Sirius asked in mock offense, “I think the word you were looking for was brilliant.”

“Gentlemen! Please!” McGonagall interupted, rubbing her temples, “Focus on the task at hand.”

“Of course, Professor,” James answered, “Come here cow. You can come off the roof now.”

The cow turned to James and moo’d.

“Come on boy,” Sirius added, motioning for the cow to step forward.

The cow took a step forward before mooing in distress and taking a step back.

“Huh,” Sirius said, scratching his head.

“Well, that was weird,” James added.

“It almost seems like the cow can’t…get down,” Remus observed.

“I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that cows can’t climb down things like stairs. This probably applies to that too,” Peter stated matter-of-factly.

The other three boys turned to him.

“What?” Remus said dumbly.

“You didn’t think to tell us this information before we put the cow on the roof?” James asked incrediously.

“You read something and remembered it?” Sirius added.

Peter ignored Sirius, “I didn’t think about it at the time. It’s not one of those facts that you normally talk about in normal conversation.”

“Since when do we have normal conversations?” James asked, gesturing to the four of them.

“Fair point,” Peter conceeded.

Remus sighed, “Next time you have an obscure fact in your mind that may be in regards to something we’re doing, please speak up.”

“Normally when I speak up, Sirius tells me to shut up and stop poking logic holes into his plan,” Peter pointed out.

“Boys!” McGonagall shouted, “I don’t care how you do it, but get the cow off the roof. Now.”

She walked swiftly down the stairs, calling up behind her, “I will be in my office waiting. I expect you boys to be there in the next half an hour.”

“Will do!” James shouted behind her, waiting until she faded from sight before asking, “How the hell are we supposed to get this cow off the roof?”

Sirius shrugged, “Beats me. I say we leave it.”

“And get into worse trouble than we’re already in?” Peter shook his head nervously, “No thank you.”

“We could always try levitating it,” Remus suggested.

“And risk hurting the cow?” Peter shouted, startling the other three.

“It’s not gonna hurt the cow,” Remus assured him.

“You don’t know that!” Peter argued.

“Well, that sounds like the best plan we’ve got,” James pointed out, “So, Pete, you’re gonna go downstairs and let us do what we need to do.”

“But - ”


Peter huffed before heading down the stairs.

“Alright, Remus, you’re probably best at Charms, so why don’t you try -,”

“What about me?” Sirius interupted.

“What about you?” James asked.

“I’m also pretty good at Charms,” he insisted.

James rolled his eyes, “Fine. Sirius, why don’t you try levitating the cow. Just from the ledge to the balcony.”

“Right-o,” Sirius saluted, raising his wand and shouting, “Wingardium Leviosa.”

Nothing happened.

“Remus?” James turned, indicating that he take a shot.

“Wingardium Leviosa,” Remus said swishing and flicking his wand in the cow’s direction.


“Ha!” Sirius spoke triumphantly, “So it wasn’t me that was the problem!”

“Perhaps if the three of us try the spell together,” Remus suggested.

James shrugged, “Worth a shot.”

THe three of them pointed their wands at the unsuspecting cow signaling to eachother before speaking in unison, “Wingardium Leviosa.”

The cow moo’d as it was lifted from the roof tiles.

“Brilliant!” James shouted, “Now, onto the balcony!”

“Why not just drop it down over the edge?” Sirius asked, pointing out, “It’d be less time.”

“And risk killing the thing?” James shouted, “Neither the barman nor Pete would be happy with us. Just set it down here.”

“Ugh, fine,” SIrius agreed, following James’ lead and setting the cow onto the ground.

“Alright,” James said with a sigh, glancing down the stairs behind them, “Now we just gotta do that for eight more floors and we’ll be solid.”

Two Hours Later

“I thought I told you to be here an hour and a half ago,” Professor McGonagall spoke crossly, looking down the top of her glasses as she spoke to each boy.

“Well, it took us a lot longer than we thought it would,” James tried explaining.

“No excuses,” Professor McGonagall interjected, “I will be taking five points off of Gryffindor from each of you and you will all serve detention tomorrow night.”

“But we got the cow off the roof like you asked,” Sirius tried arguing.

“And hopefully taking twenty points from Gryffindor and giving you all detention will help incentivize you to use your heads before you come up with another stupid and rash plan.”

“Doubtful,” Sirius muttered under his breath as he was dragged out by the other three.

“Of course Professor,” James answered placatingly.

Remus added, “Have a good night. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

As the boys left Professor McGonagall rubbed her temples once again, muttering in disbelief, “A cow. On the roof,” before returning back to the work on her desk.

How about this one?

I feel so productive today and very proud of myself! I said I was going to go through at least 5-6 requests and I went through at least 5 requests and this sixth one isn’t really a request but something I have been working on last night and only just finished! I got distracted by baking today but I am happy with myself. Thank you for giving me a chance and thank you for following this blog!

Almost everyone knows about Damian’s unconditional love for animals. He is always seen taking his dog – Titus -, his cat – Alfred – and occasionally batcow out for walks. Yes, even the cow leaves the cave sometime. Though most of the time, batcow only ever goes as far as walking around the Garden because it is a little bit hard having to explain why he keeps a cow around as a pet. Even Goliath gets to leave every now and then but Goliath always manages to find his way home whenever he leaves so Damian doesn’t worry about him as much. But minor things aside, almost everyone in Gotham City and its neighboring cities know that Damian Wayne loves taking care of animals and appreciates the love he receives in return from the animals.

What they did not know is Damian’s love of saving and bringing stray animals back home. Not just stray animals he finds at the street but stray animals he manages to save while running about the city while doing his patrols or missions. You like to think that Gotham City will definitely see your little boy in a whole new light if they ever happen to stumble upon him in that particular situation. Though lately, this is starting to become a problem. You don’t even remember how many times you have to reject your son and made sure the strays he saved finds a good home instead. All you know at that moment is that Damian needs to stop bringing home strays.

You recall the moment where Damian had found a liger once.

(Damian wraps his arms around the little body in his cloak. The little liger had been one of the animals that had been experimented on when he had busted in to the research faculty earlier. Damian would have missed the liger entirely if his sharp ears had not caught the small mewl – the liger had been trapped in its cage under a few debris so it definitely had taken his father and him to remove those debris for Damian to rescue the liger.

“Do you think Mother would oppose to me adopting this liger?” Damian asks his father the moment Bruce parks the batmobile in the batcave.

Bruce looks at Damian before turning off the engine. He opens the door and steps out, causing Damian to follow suit. He is about to answer Damian’s question when he spies you sitting in front of the monitor. “Why don’t you ask your mother?” Bruce points you out and upon hearing your husband’s name, you turn around.

“Hi, love.” You greet your husband and son. Bruce gives you a small smile as he pads over to you, pressing a kiss on your temple. You look away from him to look at Damian who is looking at you guiltily. Your eyes land on his arms. “Dami, what do you have in your arms?” You ask him.

Instead of answering you, Damian pulls off the cloak, revealing the liger cub and you almost choke on your own saliva when your eyes fell on the hybrid. “Do you think we can keep him? He can keep batcow, Alfred and Titus company too!” He tells you excitedly and as much as you would love to agree to him, you definitely know you can’t keep the cub as a house-pet.

You reach to place your palm on your son’s cheek. “My sweet darling, you know as much as I do that ligers are not meant for being house-pet.” You glance at Bruce for help but Bruce merely pats your back and you resist rolling your eyes. He knows as much as you do that once you agree to Damian’s request, the next thing you know he will be bringing every single animal he can rescue.

Damian frowns and looks at the liger. The liger is currently resting in his arms and he really does not want to part with the cub – he thinks the liger would have been really good friends with Titus and Alfred. Goliath might think the liger as a plaything though and batcow might even be food material for the liger. “Tt.” He nods his head curtly and you rub your thumb over the apple of his cheek multiple times.

“Maybe we can go to the zoo this weekend?” You try to compromise and Damian ponders for a bit before nodding his head.).

Or that time when Damian had marched turkeys in to your backyard after a mission.

{“DAMIAN WAYNE WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?” You exclaim, horrified over the state of your flower beds. The flowers you have worked hard, tending and watering are not no longer looking healthy and instead look like they have been stepped on multiple times. Which is most likely the case seeing as your son is still parading around playing the trumpet – when did he learn how to play the trumpet!? – and the moment he hears your loud, sharp voice, Damian freezes.

“Mother.” Damian greets you weakly and the turkeys start to peck him against causing Damian to chuckle as he tries to dodge their beaks. “Jerry, stop it – ha ha ha ha!”

You are torn between wanting to coo at how adorable your little bird is being but at the same time you are still torn up over your destroyed flowers. “My flowers, Damian.” You also cannot believe Damian even named one of the Turkeys.

Damian pulls himself away from the Turkeys. “My apologies, mother.” He grimaces at the sight of your beloved flowers. “Do you think we can keep the turkey though? As soon as I play the trumpet, they will start to listen.” Damian is about to blow the trumpet once more when you snatch it away from him, surprising him at your sleight of hands.

“No, Damian – we are going to return this to where they came from or so God help me.” You shake your head – you can’t imagine listening to the trumpet every single hour of the day. “Let’s go to the batcave.” You take a step forward but the Turkeys start to head towards you, wanting to peck you too so you throw the trumpet back at your son. “March your way to the batcave, Damian.”

“Alright, mother.”)

Or that time where Damian keeps saving all the stray cats and dogs he finds and nurses them to health.

(“How many has he nursed, Alfred?” You stand beside Alfred, looking out of the window. Damian is currently diligently putting on bandages on one of the injured dogs.

With a smile on his face, Alfred replies, “about forty, Madam.”

You almost choke on your saliva (again) and you cough a couple of times before staring at Alfred in disbelief. “F-forty!?”

“I have run out of patience to feel surprise at how many animals Master Damian have rescued and nursed, Madam. Do you think it is time to put a stop to it?” He glances at you and you sputter out something intangible before heading out of the dining room to go outside.

The moment Damian spies you, he grins brightly at you and your steps falter. Your resolve almost breaks by the time you finally approach him but the last time you gave in, Damian managed to keep Jerry the Turkey and that turkey still manages to ruin most of your flowers too.

“Where are you going to house any of these animals, love?” You ask as you drape your arm over his shoulders, pulling you to him. Damian leans against you momentarily before picking up one of the cutest cats of the bunch and all but shoves it up your face. You had to lean away just so Damian doesn’t hit you in the face with the cat.

“Can we at least keep one so Alfred the Cat has a companion?” Damian asks you with almost a pout on his face. You know he never begs you for anything so this is really a surprise for you. You glance at the several different dogs and cats around the backyard and you know for sure if you said yes to this cat, Damian’s going to want another companion for Titus too.

“Sorry, darling – how about we choose a shelter that you like and we can bring them there? You can always visit them.” You run your hand through Damian’s hair and he sighs before nodding his head.


Which brings you to your current predicament.

“Before you can even say ‘no’ mother, I have acquired this hedgehog from the shelter and –“

You had not even let Damian finish his sentence before you gently take the sleeping hedgehog from his hand and coo at the adorable little animal. Damian is staring at you in surprise – a little bit surprised that you would want a hedgehog instead of all the animals he had been trying to convince you to take. “This is so adorable, Damian. Have you named it? Is it a male or female?”

“Tt.” Damian smirks at your barrage of questions before answering all of them and he grins at you after that. “So this means we can keep it then?”

You glance at the hedgehog before looking at Damian and back at the hedgehog. “Your father told you I have always wanted a hedgehog didn’t he?” You ask him flatly and Damian grins wider. You roll your eyes but nod your head instead. “Okay, you have won me over.”

“Yes, thank you, Mother!”

before he sells the beans to jack, he is born in a house that smells of ceder.

his name is Tiffany. a bold bright name. a stardust name. a girl name. but he is not a girl. he knows this, even if others don’t. his mother puts him in dresses, teaches him how to sew, chastises him when he lets his voice get low.

“my great-aunt’s friend’s sister,” says his mother, with her red lips tight, “once knew these girls that spoke and diamonds came out of their mouths. you know what happened to the nasty one? she got toads. that’s your future if you don’t figure out how to be a nice little girl.”

so he speaks gently. but the whole time he is wondering: who gave them the language of gems. who gave them the language that rolled out of them. it must be magic. and if there is magic, maybe there is hope for him.

he takes off in a dark night. a sad night. one where the fire was too low and he was sick of mirrors. he leaves his mother a note: gone to find where the gems grow. 

in the black woods, he cuts off his hair. wears his father’s clothes. feels, at last, whole. runs and runs and runs until his air comes out in a wheeze. walks for weeks and weeks.

he finds the old woman carrying water. she is ugly, her mouth all twisted angry. but she carries the water alone. 

the boy does not have much. but he has shoulders. a good back. hands that work. when he takes her burden, she says, “thank you, young man.” and he smiles at her, but doesn’t say anything.

her house is damp. she feeds him stew, apologizes. says she used to make lovely foods but the price of milk and eggs got far too high. she says: if you carry my water for five weeks, i will give you something special. and he agrees.

she talks for him. spends a lot of time telling him of people he never met. girls with lips blood red. girls with white fairy dresses. boys who fell in love with swans. 

the boy says little. just nods. sleeps on the floor of her empty barn. when she’s not looking, he darns her clothes for her, keeps the floors swept, fills the lanterns with oil, makes her a blanket for the coming winter. 

on the end of the fifth week, she gives him the beans. tells him that they have been passed down in her family, that this was her portion. she says that she is too old now for such adventures. that she hears the beans will bring treasure. fortune. all the things of greed. she says: i will give them to you, for what you have done to me.

in the morning, he takes off. he feels the weight of them in his pocket. he thinks of the old woman and the stories and the sight of her tired hands. he stands in the market for a long time, unspeaking, simply staring at the cobblestones beneath him.

jack’s voice is the last call in the evening. a beautiful cow, young and thick and healthy. 

the boy has no money. he bounces the magic bean in his pocket, and thinks of treasures. 

“wait,” he says. 

jack turns. 

transaction complete: one cow for a handful of magic beans. the boy walks the cow home to the old woman, gets there in the morning. they are both very tired. he falls asleep beside the beast in the hay. dreams of the foods the old woman can cook now that she can get milk.

when he wakes up, he is changed. it is as if he simply turned into who he was made to be. not a new body. familiar. the body he could always see.

the old woman stands at the door of his barn. she says, “good morning,” and then she says a new word. a word he’s never heard. a name. his name. a boy name. 

he repeats it. it is a jewel in his mouth, so he says it again. another diamond.

“time to fetch water,” she says, winking. the whole way, he whispers his name. it never quite tastes the same, always beautiful, always a fine thing, always his. the something special he was lacking.

in the back of his pocket, there is one last magic bean. he will fetch the water and plant it. and he will carry that old woman to the castles she has never seen.

“If you were really pro-life you’d be vegan!” has got to be the worst argument ever. 

See, there’s a huge difference between human life and animal life. 

The real hypocrisy is being vegan and claiming to support all life and not wanting to protect the unborn of your own species. To place more importance on an insect or an oyster or even a pig or cow than a living member of your own species. 

anonymous asked:

Maybe a fic where Lance is coming down with the space flu or something with all of the crappy symptoms (nausea/vomiting, fever, headache,) but he doesn't want to let the team down so he tries to go practice anyways. Cue Lance passing out during training and Keith being a flurry of frustrated and worried and at first Lance is freaking out but eventually Keith just tries to take care of him.

The Blues

A/N: A lot of notes on this one, sorry.

So halfway through writing this, I got a fever. I also don’t feel like I’ve gotten used to writing Lance yet. So take it with a grain of salt.

I always pictured that unless it was a simple cold, Lance would be really bad at handling illnesses. They sap his energy and his charm, and he hates being incapacitated like that. So when he’s hit with all these things, along with the loneliness of being away from Earth, and feeling like a seventh wheel, his emotions just go down. I kind of drifted from the prompt, I’m sorry. But I really like the way it turned out!

Finally, I had to take a sharp turn when THIS POPPED UP so it took longer than normal but I really wanted to incorporate this beautiful thing that has graced the Voltron fandom.

The paladins could live without some earth commodities. They adjusted to the Altean food, they accepted wearing their armor while they washed their one pair of clothes, and they tolerated the strange music that Coran and Allura would play over the entire ship when they missed Altea. But for the humans, there was one thing they couldn’t tolerate.

“We’re going back to the space mall and getting toothpaste.” Shiro decided, leaving no room for argument.

Within an hour, the paladins compiled a list of necessities they would purchase. Toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, razors, new clothes, different types of food, all the things on Earth they always took for granted. Coran insisted that they had the equivalent of some of those things on the ship, but everyone rallied to get Earth deodorant. Pidge threatened to take the wheel herself if Allura didn’t turn the ship around.

As the castleship grew closer to the space mall, the paladins began to get excited. The shopping list grew from necessities to the things they started to missed as well. But the Red Paladin noticed that something was off. Lance was being oddly quiet. He threw out only basic suggestions, like fingernail clippers and combs. Keith scoffed at his lack of participation.

“What, you don’t want a friend for Kaltenecker?”

Lance shrugged and muttered that getting a cow - even if it was free - was probably a bad idea because they had little means to feed it. Even though the Blue Paladin’s alarmingly realistic comment surprised everyone, they continued to make the list. But Keith was left with suspicion. Something was definitely wrong with Lance.

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