even-as-it-makes-me-miss-mine

I feel kinda embarrassed about it, but “What If” is a song that I still find comforting, after quite a few years, even. Always liked to say that I don’t care what people say, but it did hurt a lot every time I got called weird, and listening to “What If” makes me feel like it’s the other people who are missing out. Kind of melodramatic, I know, and thus it’s a guilty pleasure of mine.

It's five in the morning and I'm writing about:

You.

You were the cause of all my heartaches. All of you - your perfect eyes, your perfect hair, your perfect smile. Sadness would overwhelm me every time I think of how much I miss you. It would pain me to think about the sound of your voice or how your eyes would light up every time I try to open a topic about your favorite things. It would make me suffer a little bit if I remember all the efforts that I made. It would be torture to remember the sound of your voice on the phone without breaking down. It would hurt to even try to remember how your hand fit in mine perfectly. Agony and despair would take control of my mind if I would let myself wander around the indefinite - our what ifs.

I try to control my feelings, but I can’t. Nothing prepared me to the reality of losing what we had. Not even you.

So allow me to hold on for a little while longer. Allow me to treasure the last moments of your randomness, your weirdness, your confusion, and your uncertainty. Give me permission to hold on to you, to us, for just a minute or two.

Let me take care of you one last time, please.
Before I let you go completely.
Just like how you want me to.

Hey guys! Lately i’ve hit some pretty cool goals thank you guys so much and i’ve this blog for nearing two year now so i wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone on my dash who always makes me smile&laugh and keeps me company during the day/night. Even though i don’t interact with many of you, i hope you know how much i adore you all.

Mutuals in italics, faves in bold (sorry if i missed anyone) ♡

@awsugg | @ayetroyler | @ayyee-tyleroakley | @casparleetho | @chaitroye | @consivanqueen @crazytronnor | @curlflop | @fairytroye@fangirl-shipper | @flashlester | @frantasworld | @happytroyesivan | @hellatronnor@i3troyler@itstronnor@jasmineyes@joesuggies@kateypops@lghtside@linxtte@lookingfortronler@lvnaticlil@messtroye@moonlightmemo@mylifeistroyler@mythatcher@nutella-plus-ranchdressing@oakleysheart@oakleyft17@ohhhsivan@okaytroyler@ostentatiousoakley | @planetphil@positiveoakley@preemie-fetus | @queenzoesugg@rosegoldtyler@smilingoakley@smolderingtroyler | @sooakley | @sparkleoakley@spoiledwhiteperson @suggletwife@thiswillbringuscloser@topnotchtroyler@thatsgrace@themeganjade@thirstyfortroyler@too-young-too-wild@truthsoloudyoucantignore@troyeboyish@t-r-o-y-l-e-r-e-l-l-a@tronlerfivever | @troylermelletoakley@troylermeetsworld@troylertime | @troyeroye@troye-ing@troyegang | @troyesbooty | @tyleroakley@ughoakley@vinyltroye

I have something to say

I believe artists, all kinds of artists, should be given credit for their creations. I respect your art - be it fanart, fanfiction, expressed opinion even - as I expect you to respect mine. 

However, it has happened in the past that I miss to see that a post has no credit or do something equally silly because I get overly excited about the art or whatever. If I do that, please do not assume I’ve done that on purpose. Just let me know and I’ll make amends. Don’t be mean to me because of my stupid absentmindedness. I’m trying. 

I know not giving credit sucks and I’m against that! So if I incidentally do something stupid like not giving credit to the creator, tell me gently. Don’t assume I’m some kind of a villain because it really upsets me when you do that. I’m here to relax and calm myself from real life so I really don’t need this drama. I mean no offense to anyone. 

anonymous asked:

The way Frisk an Asriel interact really really reminds me of what my ex-bestfriend, Ryan, and i used to have. He and I were together all the time and had sleepovers and everyone thought we'd make a cute couple and blah blah.. Hell, I even gave him--

–little shoulder massages when he was super stressed out and when he was tired he would rest his head on mine since he was so much taller than me. I’m not gonna lie, this chapter made me really emotional..–

–I miss my friendship with him tremendously, but he wound up not being a very good friend in the end by betraying and belittling me. I really hope that Frisk and Asriel never have that problem. *small sigh then smirks a bit* At the same time though~

I’m sorry to hear your relationship with your friend didn’t work out, but if he wasn’t good for you then I’m sure it was for the best.

But yeah, Frisk and Asriel’s friendship is like that childhood best friend relationship, just like… MORE. They give me some nostalgic feelings for my best friend when I was a little kid.

I don’t know when I became
“Don’t matter”.
I don’t know how it happened or why,
But believe me when I say I understand and I know it’s no mistake.
I may be naive…
Fuck that!
I am naive but stupid I am not and
I know within my soul that I won’t ever see you again,
There’s no closure to be had.
I can’t help that I miss you,
The way you can make me smile no matter what,
The calm the comes from the sound of your voice, and the joy your name brings upon my life
I hide it.
Fuck.
I buried it.
I made myself believe it never really even existed.
I don’t expect anything spectacular nor do I want anything from you.
Your heart is no longer mine to hold and that’s okay because your happiness is worth it all.
I just wanted to say a proper goodbye and wash away from my memory that day when I drove away.
There’s so much I want to talk about and for some reason I always have the urge to tell you.
I’m sitting here thinking and I know in my heart that I won’t ever get my final farewell for
I’m not worth the two hours .
I now belong to the “don’t matter” so you don’t have the time,
Time to put me at ease and let me go,
Time to make me smile one last time before out of my life you stroll.
I guess you didn’t know or maybe you just don’t care but all I want to do is sit down with you and clear the air.
I loved you so I set you free knowing all the while that you will never fly back to me.
It’s okay, I am strong and you only made me stronger.
Just please when you see the sunset over the water or the stars shining bright… remember that I loved you,
Remember the times we shared and I will stare at the same worldly wonders and take in a deep breath of “She doesn’t fucking care.”
—  6/28/16 12:34/CT
I miss me. I miss caring, and loving until I burst. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have never felt so lost, so detached from reality. opening up like a book for people, letting them in when I haven’t even let myself in. I’m not hurting, I’m not sad. I’m okay, just lost. I want to know what makes me, me. I drink, almost every weekend to erase any problems I have to face. and I listen to my friends complain about there life so I don’t focus on mine. I listen to sad songs to reassure myself that someone out there feels the way I do. what makes up every little piece of me? what makes me love, makes me happy, smile, live? who the fuck am I. I’m a girl, named katie, five letter name. each letter could be some cute little thing about me. I’m Kind, Alive, Tasteful, Invigorating, and Elaborate. lost is a feeling that makes you do crazy things to feel something besides that. being lost, becomes never wanting to be found.

We have had them or will have them, difficult teachers make their class very frustrating, here are some tips for dealing with them.

The information on the test isn’t in line with the class work

1. Ask what will be on the test. They might not tell you but it doesn’t hurt to ask. You can even just ask the test format (multiple choice, matching, essay, short answers) and that can help you direct your studying. 

2. Ask others in the same class if they mentioned something you might have missed. This actually saved me a couple times with a certain teacher. When taking notes you can get caught up and miss them hinting that something might be on the test.

3. Study everything. It is so annoying but it is much better to cover all your bases instead of being sitting in a test and very close to a meltdown. Review every note, worksheet, textbook, etc. It will seriously pay off once you sit down to write the test. I even watch youtube videos on the topic so I am sure I know absolutely everything. 

Inconsistent or unfair marking 

1. Write the assignment for the teacher. I had a teacher who would make his views on history very clear and I would write the assignment based off that. It seriously sucks because you aren’t able to argue your views, but as soon as I did this, my marks started to increase. School is really just about gaming the system.

2. Ask to see the rubric. This can help so you know how they are marking you. If you feel like you deserve better you can compare to the rubric and explain why you deserved it. This has bumped me up a couple times and is really helpful.

3. Having the same or very similar answer as someone else but getting it wrong is my biggest pet peeve. Talk to the teacher and ask for the same mark or for a half mark at least. Explain why you think you are right and they should give you the mark. If not, you win some and you lose some. It is not always fair.

Unclear lessons and unwilling to help

1. Look in places like Khan Academy, Crash Course, Sci Show, Spark Notes for for the same material. I watch an equivalent video for every lesson in my science/ math classes even if I understand it because it really is helpful being able to go back and relisten to the material and can find other methods that may work better for you.

 2. Get a tutor or visit your school’s equivalent of a resource room/tutoring club. Often older students are willing to help and some may have already had the same teacher and understand the material. I really recommend this tip, it saved one of friend’s math mark.

3. Make a study group! You and all your classmates are all in this together, and should support and work together so you all understand the material. It does help if you have someone who understands it who studies with you, that way you can make sure you are on the right track.

Playing favorites 

1. Don’t be angry with the student, it is not their fault that the teacher favors them. Just to keep a level head and just get your work done. Hopefully, your effort will be shown in your work and the teacher will see that.

2.Figure out if it is an isolated incident or if this happens all the time. Sometimes you can’t change the teacher, you just have to keep working your butt off. They can’t ignore you if your work is superb.

3. Talk to the teacher, have an interest in the classwork. If they get to know you they may not turn a blind eye to you and start to like you. Even if that doesn’t work, getting the extra help doesn’t hurt anyone, of course!

Taking forever to grade work, and not telling you your class mark

1. Be really annoying and keep asking. It might seem a little bit uncomfortable but honestly, someone has to keep teachers accountable. If you are uncomfortable with doing this in person, send an email and ask. It often will get the same point across.

2. Keep track of the day you hand everything in and when you get it back. Then you can start to see a pattern and know when to expect work back. 

3. This is the last resort, but I once got my mom to email a teacher to find out my mark because they were refusing to tell me. They told her right away. It really sucks to have to involve your parents but some teachers don’t see students on the same level as them. 

However, if the teacher at any point makes sexual, racist or any comment which makes you feel unsafe in the classroom alert your counselor or principal. It is not alright and should be dealt with in an appropriate manner.

GOOD LUCK!

~Liv