even when you're dead

6

You’re beyond reason.

Sometimes I forget that for other people, James Potter and Lily Evans are just some dudes who gave birth to the ‘chosen one’. 

Sometimes I forget that for other people, James was just Harry’s dead father. 

Sometimes I forget that other people don’t give a shit about whom Lily should have chosen. 

Sometimes I forget that other people can even think and ship Snape and Lily together. 

Sometimes I forget that 'Nah she didn’t’ is just another English sentence for some people. 

Sometimes I forget that for some people 'Limes’ is either just a fruit or yet another lame dirty joke.

Sometimes I forget that Jily means nothing to some people. 

And that they don’t even care how Harry’s mum and dad got together. 

Because they’re dead anyway. 

The Midnight Beast - Fun Writing/RP Starters
  • "It's just a booty call, even if you're beautiful."
  • "You're showing me a bit of skin."
  • "We wanna do things we'll regret the next day."
  • "I wake up, different girl/boy each time."
  • "They call me Grandad, 'cause it's written all over my face."
  • "You're getting me obsessed."
  • "What's the point in having fun?"
  • "I'm dead. Just kidding!"
  • "Oh my god, they're at it again."
  • "Don't need a magic pill to medicate."
  • "I'm your butter, you're my toast."
  • "Life's not pretty, it's actually grim."
  • "Will you tell me what you think of?"
  • "Staying up to watch you sleep."
  • "I could put you in the obituaries."
  • "Go fuck yourself, and I quit."
  • "Life has always told me I was weak."
  • "Not counting candles on my birthday cake."
  • "My name is pogo, you wanna jump on my stick?"
  • "How's it going? It seems you've let yourself in."
  • "I need to tell you something that I don't know how to say."
  • "We could keep beating 'round the bush about this but it's pretty simple."
  • "You need me more than a junkie needs crack."
  • "Let's go wherever our legs take us."
  • "You're economy, I'm first class."
  • "It doesn't matter 'cause everybody loves you when you're dead."
  • "I even got your name tattooed."
  • "SLEEPING? AT 1 IN THE AFTERNOON?"
  • "Please stop, 'cause you make me ill."
  • "You make me happy, but that's not better than sex."
  • "Baby, we should make a sextape."
  • "YOU'RE RUINING OUR PLANS!"
  • "Bitch, you should get deported."
5

to protect (prə-ˈtekt), v. | to defend or guard from attack, invasion, loss, annoyance, insult, etc.; cover or shield from injury or danger

anonymous asked:

Carmilla wakes up one afternoon and finds Laura curled up at her side, head on her chest, even though they've been keeping their distance. Laura is awake, but it takes Carmilla a minute to get her attention. Laura looks at her with a funny look on her face and says "You look really really dead when you're asleep. I can't even feel your heartbeat most of the time." Carmilla immediately pulls Laura's hand over her heart and holds it there, swearing to herself Laura will never almost lose her again

These idiots. I love them.

I will never be able to grasp how people watch The L Word in it’s entirety and still manage to maintain this intense, virulent, obsessive hatred for Jenny Schecter. No one is saying you have to love her, but if that’s the way you respond to people like her, I’m going to need you to get extremely far away from me. 

THE SIGNS WHILST SLEEPING:
  • Aries: you're fighting when you're awake and when you're dreaming, you ferocious freak.
  • Taurus: so chilled, all the time.
  • Gemini: you sleep talk so much, even when you're unconscious you don't shut the fuck up.
  • Cancer: peaceful, crying angel
  • Leo: you do that one leg out of the covers thing...it's weird.
  • Virgo: you-you don't even sleep.
  • Libra: you look like you're dead when you're asleep, it's frightening. Nothing wakes you.
  • Scorpio: you snore so loudly and it's fucking annoying.
  • Sagittarius: you sleep with your socks on...you loser.
  • Capricorn: you splay yourself all over the place, you just don't care.
  • Aquarius: you hog the bed and the covers like the annoying hoarder you are.
  • Pisces: you fidget so much oh my GOD keep still for one bloody second.

Last time I checked, John Green wrote several successful novels and took personal interest in his own movie so that his dedicated readers would get what they read and not some Hollywood butt-munch. Yeah he made an absolutely stupid comment, but what are you all doing with your lives?

Last time I checked: 

Go out and be useful or something, none of you are funny.