even when I have no internet I might just.

NOTICE!!

So I’ve arrived in Germany. It’s really nice. I should’ve brought more pants.

But because I am in Germany there will be less opportunities to be on tumblr bc I won’t have internet as much. So, initiating a 1-year semi-hiatus. Ofc I’ll still post and queue, so it might not even be much of a difference. But if you send me an ask or reply, there’s a high chance I won’t see it for a while, so be aware!

Also this isn’t an excuse to unfollow me, people always unfollow me when I don’t post and that just doesn’t make any sense…

anonymous asked:

Okay so for awhile now I've known/thought I'm genderfluid and I'm starting to think maybe I'm trans but I don't know I'm just so confused

I know that you might feel pressured to find a label for yourself or might want a label for personal comfort, but don’t rush yourself. If you can, spend some time figuring yourself out and just keep an open mind. You’re a wonderful person regardless of who you end up, but allow your identity to come together when you’re ready.

That being said, you don’t have to figure your identity out on your own. Try to find someone (even an internet friend) to open up and don’t go it alone. You don’t have to have a label to come out to a friend about these issues <333 Good luck love

Submission: Septum ring feels loose, Help!

“Okay so I got my septum done about three days ago and It is still loose in my nose. When I shake my head side to side it jiggles and when I move my head up and down It will move to touch the tip of my nose or rest back on my lip. My piercer said I had a really nice septum and their were no complications that I knew of. When he had finished I even asked him why it had felt so loose and he told me that It would tighten up as it heals. Maybe I am just impatient but do you know why this could be happening? Is there anyone that has dealt with this before? It seems like everyone I have talked to hasn’t understood what I meant by it feeling loose and the internet doesn’t seem to have many answers for me either. Please help? Also, just in case it might be helpful I have a 14G horseshoe in, that’s what the piercer used on me.”

Anyone have experience with this? #xxsickgrinxx 

Dear Elizabeth
— 

Dear Elizabeth
I do not use your name in my poems
because your name leaves the taste of
bitten through tongues and broken teeth
spoiled meat and maggots
dried up blood
clinging to the roof of my mouth

When you
say I handed you the scissors
I did no just hand them to you
I thrust them into your open and waiting
your dirty and pleading
your child’s hands

You needed
an excuse to cut me off
and I guess that you found one
though both of those reasons are untrue
I mean you didn’t even talk to me enough
in that last month
to know how I was doing
let alone how manipulative and insensitive I might have been

I still
check your blog because hell
your username is saved in my internet history
and I’m not quite sure how to delete it
not sure if I want to
I wish that we had ended on better terms
but I am not sorry that you let me go

I was
too much of a coward to tell you
that I had barely managed to tolerate you
during those two or three years that we
were friends

If anything
you were the manipulative and insensitive one
holding and lording your very life over me
you told me that I couldn’t stop you from killing yourself
that I probably wouldn’t even make it to you
funeral

Your little
boy toy told me how you used
your self harm as an anchor to keep him there
and threatened your life when he wouldn’t
give you the time of day
and that’s not cool man

You are
two pathetic human beings
a child and an immature teen
blaming your problems on anyone that gets
too close to your flames
but I braved them for so long
because I  cared dammit
I cared to fucking much

Now I
only check your blogs to laugh
at how pathetic you both are
even when you ignored my break downs
which I admit I had quite often
I was always lurking in the shadows
waiting for my chance to strike and make myself of use
I made you my everything
I wanted to fucking marry you

Your name
leaves a bad taste
in the back of my mouth
though I still see posts I want to tag you in
but I made myself block both of you
on everything
it was easier that way
and it still is

My anxiety
level and depression have lessened
though my blogs tell a different tale
but you must have been checking my blog
because you saw the poem I wrote
so ha ha
I’m still on your mind
I never really leave

Maybe if
we had met each other at different times
when I was more pitying
and you were more mature
maybe things would have worked out
but dammit
now I am so glad that you left

A friend
shouldn’t give you anxiety
seeing your name pop up on my
phone screen set my teeth to chattering
and my heart to racing
you made me want to die
so fuck you anyway
fuck you both
or as my autocorrect would say
duck you both
to hell

I no
longer have to worry about the fact
that my having emotions and
god forbid that I act like a human
and express my feelings
may cause something to crack
it is not my fault that you were abused
and I still think that my anger was justified
I deserve more than friends that only
talk to me when it’s convenient
I am NOT expendable

I was
never your love
though I did call you mine
and when you walked away
with that last encounter being so
fucking unpleasant
I breathed a sigh of relief
I don’t want you back
I don’t need you back
I have better friends
I deserve more

And now
I nothing you
like so many other before you
I have been left before
and it will happen again
I just wish that I had
gotten the last word

And even
though writing angry poetry
back and forth between each other
it is so nice being able to say I hate your writing
without any repercussions
this is the last poem I will write about you two
neither of you deserve my time or my writing
this is goodbye
and fuck you

anonymous asked:

giving a heroin addict cocaine won't help either and isn't that what ur doing when u try to help them from afar, if u new them irl this way might help but over the internet that's just not something we can do,and the way i write my fics isn't with sugar coated words it is the hard truth just spoken through someone they know even if they're not real, wouldn't u rather ur family or a friend to help u stop then some stranger? i try to speak through the characters, and if they want it I'll talk too

Like the anon before you said, sometimes they don’t have friends and family.

Look, the point is that it’s unhealthy and won’t help in the long run. I don’t want to explain this over and over if you’re not getting the point. Real people help, fake characters do not. I don’t know how else to explain this to you. Sure, people feel a little bit better for an hour, maybe a day, but after that they’re just going to cut again. Because that character from an hour ago isn’t truly there to stop them. I really don’t want to keep fighting this, seriously. Either take my words and ponder them or don’t, idk what to tell you.

anonymous asked:

Yo, I just had to say that sometimes when I'm feeling like absolute shit I just go to ur blog and it most likely makes me laugh so many times I can't even be so sad anymore. So plz never give up, u like rly mean a lot 4 other ppl and I'm just so proud that even if sometimes it might be 'hard u still haven't given up nliterally u have lived so many years that now some weird anon internet stranges is thanking you that you still are here among us reading this pretty freaky ask so keep it up m8 ily

omg thank you so much im like on the verge of tears thank you so much

anonymous asked:

I think you are so cool and brave and it's great how you don't keep quiet when you have an opinion. I wish i could be more like you. Or at least your friend. I hope that doesn't sound creepy... i think you're blog is great, too! Even some people don't think you 'knowledgeable' enough. I hope everything works out with M. and that thing with that horrible trainer. also, i love your url :D have a lovely day!

Aww, thank you so much! ^_^

But unfortunately I’m only cool and brave on the internet where I can hide easily ;) And if you come off anon and talk to me for a bit we might just become friends, or at least become closer cause it takes a while until I call someone a friend :)

It doesn’t sound creepy at all :) And the lack of knowledge wasn’t directed at me yet (to my knowledge), so let’s not make a drama of it while there is none. I love Led Zep but I’ve always been terrible when it comes to dates and times and years and stuff. For example, I’ve been a Linkin Park fan for almost 10 years now, I have an LP tattoo and I could tell you what the guitarist sang at his college graduation or what the singer’s tattoos mean, but I even tend to forget the years when their albums came out. I think I know the years by now, but the next time I think about I’ll most likely be wrong by one year again :D

Have a lovely day yourself! :)

anonymous asked:

You never know when something on your blog might just impact someone's life. Send this message to 10 people whose blogs have positively influenced you to let them know of your appreciation.

Thank you so much!! This truly means a lot. I’m glad that I can help, even if it’s through the internet.

anonymous asked:

It's 11:50am, and I'm thinking about how I probably won't get a job for another month, and how it probably won't pay enough to cover my bills anyway.

i’m so so sorry to hear that! i imagine you must be feeling awful right now but please don’t despair! have you tried reaching out to people who might be willing to help you out? maybe even on tumblr? and also there are sites on the internet that might help you gain some money, yeah? and about the job thing, i don’t know how it works where you live, but sometimes when i really need money i apply to do some translations or private tutorings! which isn’t much, frankly, but still! and i don’t even know if this is encouraging, but just don’t be discouraged yet, bc something new always comes along every day and i’m sure things will find a way of working themselves out! best of luck to you!x

ANONYMOUSLY TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS THERE AND WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT.

6 reasons Ghostface may have delivered the greatest Hip-Hop diss ever

6 reasons Ghostface may have delivered the greatest Hip-Hop diss ever

Source: Johnny Nunez / Getty

I am not joking even a little bit when I tell you, the video of Ghostface Killah checking Action Bronson that hit the Internet today just might be the greatest hip-hop diss ever. It’s definitely top five at bare minimum: funny, true, stern and embarrassing.

To give backstory, Action Bronson appeared on SportsNation, hosted by Michelle Beadle, Max Kellerman and…

View On WordPress

i’m pretty dispensable. i’m not saying this outta bitterness or anything, really. i never have anything to do once i am able to be online, and i haven’t for a long time actually. i might take a hiatus of sorts, for the days when i do have internet and all. i dunno. i’m not losing my muse for satake or anything, but i’m growing stagnant–with everything, really. with roleplaying i guess it’s just because i’ve been away for so long that the whole obsession part has just worn away and i consider other things coming first? like i said, i dunno. i’m not even sure what i’m saying, haha.

I only get internet in my computer a limited amount of hours a day(my dad is always on the computer and turns on the wifi for me whenever he chooses to so my life is in his hands)
so when i get wifi i have to go on the Internet no matter what
Even if i don’t really want to or i have more important things to do i just have to be using the internet the best i can bc my dad might get mad at me and never turn on the wifi again
IT’S SO MUCH GOD DAMN PRESSURE I ACTUALLY GET ANXIETY ATTACKS AND HAVE TO GO DO STH ELSE
So basically i end up wasting my time on the Internet by trying to make the best out of it

Stop telling me what to eat

God these “(insert food item) gives you (insert disease)” headlines annoy me. Who cares? I mean really, I’ll die early if I eat donuts - who cares? We’re all popping our clogs at some point anyway, and if you manage to achieve immortality and hang around long enough then you might even be there to witness the Earth crashing into the sun and have a brief moment to think: “Well, that was pointless” before the human race is annihilated. Is it really worth caring if you’ll get an extra couple of years when you’re so old you just want to be dead anyway? No. No it isn’t.

Before we had the Internet, we didn’t hear these (probably made up or exaggerated for effect) horror stories and - shock - none of us ever wondered if we could’ve lived a month longer if we hadn’t eaten donuts. When I die, I die. I’d rather spend the intervening time eating things I like and enjoying myself rather than, you know, being a sheep that believes everything I ever read and bases my life around bollocks that would definitely be on the 6 o'clock news if it was even remotely provable in any way.

Rant over.

anonymous asked:

I'll be honest, I misread one of your messages and thought you were going to sleep. Oops....I think I'll head to bed now, I might need the good night's rest. (And to talk about the strangers over the internet thing, I myself have been helped out by people over the internet that I've never met in real life. I know that it helps a lot even when people just say kind words and stand by you. You're a wonderful person going through a tough time and I just want to help) you through it as best as I can.

Goodnight 💚

So my boyfriend went to drill (he’s in the reserves/national guard) at a base about an hour away from the town we live in. He goes about once every four weeks and always in the past he’s been home hours before now. The latest he was ever home was 5:30 and that was when he was at the base that’s less than 15 minutes away. Anyway, I was expecting him home a long time ago. His phone has been really screwy lately so he can’t receive or send texts or calls and he can only use the internet on wifi, so I have no way to get a hold of him. I also can’t call the base because even if I got to the right people they wouldn’t legally be allowed to tell me if he’s there or not or when he left or anything.

I keep saying “I’ll wait until midnight” but I don’t know what I’m waiting for. There is literally NOTHING I can do because he might have just gotten stuck there late for some weird reason. But at the same time, I’m freaking out because in that hour between there and here something terrible could have happened to him.

I cleaned, I made dinner, I made dessert, I’ve spent hours watching Cupcake Wars even though I could care less about it after a couple episodes (I mean, damn, it’s just the same thing every episode)… there’s nothing I can do, but I can’t not do anything.

  • Me:Hello, can you hear me now?
  • Her:Yes, now I can.
  • Me:Can you stand in a place with network so that you don't keep cutting off.
  • Her:I haven't moved since I received this call. Maybe it's your network that is the problem.
  • Me:Heh, trust me, my internet is more than fine. Maybe it's this Whatsapp call. We should have not switched from Viber.
  • Her:We'll use that next time.
  • Me:So, anyway, I was saying that I might be going to Macedonia. Weuuuweeee.
  • Her:Weeuweee. When?
  • Me:I am not even sure, I just got excited when I read the email subject and called you. Which country is Macedonia by the way?
  • Her:Macedonia.
  • Me:Yeah, where is it?
  • Her:Macedonia
  • Me:Hallo?, network imepotea tena. I am asking which country is Macedonia in?
  • Her:And I am saying Macedonia IS a country. You mean you didn't know that?
  • Me:What? Well, I knew that. What I meant is I got excited cos I am going to South America. I have always wanted to go there.
  • Her:What!? Macedonia is not in South America. Why would you think that? Which map are you using?
  • Me:What, where is Macedonia?
  • Her:I dunno, somewhere in Europe, but definitely not in South America, why would you even think that?
  • Me:Well, it sounds like it is next to Barcelona or something I dunno. They sound like they have a football team that is popular and the South American are good in those football things.
  • Her:Wow. You don't know football. You don't know geography. What do you know?
  • Me:I know this call is about to end.
  • Her:Haha, you are a sad sad man. Which remind me, I didn't tell you what happened to me in the office the other day....
Trauma of betrayal

I wish someone could tell me what to do. I feel that this must be similar to what people feel like when they’ve been cheated on. Engulfed by the betrayal.

Humans are incredibly intuitive. Of course there’s the hindsight bias, or confirmation bias, or whatever heuristic that might be coming into play when you think “I had a hunch all along” about your partner betraying you. But I did have a hunch. We met on the Internet and even his internet profile was complete and utter fiction, come to find out. How many times did I obsess over his stories? He never gave me enough information so it made it hard to spot inconsistencies. But I asked him point blank about getting a master’s. He just became angry with me and actually broke up with me on the spot. He went in the office and made a bed on the floor. That was the night I bent one of his discs because I was so pissed off.

When you worry something is true, but can’t verify it, and are punished for thinking it, you are hard on yourself. I mean, fuck, questioning whether your partner *really* had cancer? That’ll make you feel like a complete dick. But I scoured his Facebook and his mother’s Facebook. He had one post about it, after which he deactivated it for months. Sneaky bastard. His mother had nothing about it. But Justin knew this and prepared for it by painting his mother to be cold, detached, and unconcerned with him. Like, what in the actual fuck? What in the what-fuck? WHAT IN THE WHOLE GOD DAMN ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK?

It’s actually quite terrifying. What if he blew up my car? What if he poisoned my sweet baby kitty and that’s why she died? It’s good I can’t know that last one. I swear, I would quit school and life and dedicate my whole existence to locking that lunatic up. this shit fuck stole things from me, too. It’s just unimaginable to me, how someone could do this.

I can understand cheating once or even a few times. I can understand how people lose their cool and become physically aggressive. These things CAN BE single mistakes. They might be a character flaw of course and be fucked up people like justin. But I would leave someone who did those things even once.
And sure, cheating leads to lying. But the type of lying Justin does…it’s truly pathological. He lies about significant things, insignificant things, everything in between. He lies to gain things, and he lies for seemingly no reason at all. He’s lying over and over and over and over. And then verbally abusing me and threatening to leave me when I told him I didn’t trust him. I mean…what

I wish I believed in anything though.

anonymous asked:

Just my personal opinion (based on what I've seen about them on the internet, and rumors so, yes, I might be wrong) but I do belive the rumors about Emilie and Robert. Personally, that's why I can't really like them ever since season 2/ early season 3. I can't look at them and see professional actors when, I think they only use OUAT to get some money, while having fun behind the scenes. Especially when Carlyle hates the press and cons and even went to the S4 premire in jeans. It's like his whole

attitude screams ‘I don’t care, I’m too good for this show, just give me my money and leave me alone so I can do whatever I want’

If he really is biting the hand that feeds him (and his family), so very nicely, then I agree. Ironically, his career’s a lot more lackluster than I think he’d like to believe.

It’s interesting that his favorite film (and director) was Trainspotting, because while I kinda thought he was good in it (playing once again an over the top, murderous psycho), the movie itself is, IMHO, the most absurd, grossly, madly, wildly overrated, Emperor Has No Clothes, piece of crap (I can’t even call it pseudo-intellectual or pretentious, because it doesn’t ascribe to that, it largely alternates between dull and gross—without even offering a realistic depiction of addiction) I have EVER seen.