even though this isn't for me!

  • fanfic writer: *writing* Oh wow, they are going to love this. This is by far my best work!
  • fic: *witty lines* *perfect love making* *fluffy enough to kill us all* *a dash of angst, a smidgen of hurt/comfort*
  • fanfic writer: Oh man. This is it. This will be my legacy! *sweats into fic* *bleeds into fic* *cries into fic* *spends days perfecting the grammar and verbage and sex scenes* *has 15 betas look over it*
  • fanfic writer: Okay. It is finally time to release my baby on the world. Here you go fandom. You're welcome.
  • fandom: Ha, cute. *like* *kudos*
  • fanfic writer: :/
  • * * *
  • same fanfic writer: *writing* Whatever. This is shit, I don't even care right now. A singing squirrel? Sure, let's do it. Haha, cheesy lines that make no sense, sure. Grammatical errors out the wazoo? Why not. No one's going to read this piece of crap anyway, I literally wrote it on a scrap of 1 ply toilet paper with a broken yellow crayon.
  • fanfic writer: LOL *post*
  • fanfic writer: *sigh*
  • My mom: I'd be more okay with it if his name wasn't 'Doomguy'
  • Me: he's a good guy though! He fights demons and even voluntarily stayed in Hell to make sure demons will never invade earth again.
  • My mom: Isn't doomguy a demon though?
  • Me: Nah, he's a human space marine and he hates demons.
  • My mom: oh.
  • Me: so can I put him in the nativity scene?
  • My mom: No.
Let’s Talk About Sora’s Necklace

Sora’s necklace is particularly interesting to me, despite the fact that there has never been a single explanation of it or reference to it in the series (even though the crown symbol is EVERYWHERE in the series).  However, I do have reason to believe it may have some significance outside of mere aesthetics and the obvious symbolic reference to KINGdom Hearts-  the significance either being with lore or character, or both.

Let me start by saying I understand that the necklace could entirely be a design choice meant to connect Sora visually with the Kingdom Key, his iconic keyblade, and has no real lore or character significance.  In fact, I would argue that this is likely what it started out as when the character was first designed.  But as any writer or artist knows, ideas and previously insignificant details can develop into happy accidents that spark new ideas that transform them into something more significant.  I have at least some reason to believe this may be the case.

Now let’s just roll with the idea that the necklace does actually have significance.  There are two questions here; how did Sora get the necklace and does it have lore significance (such as magical properties or a literal connection to Kingdom Hearts or the Kingdom Key)? 

The first question actually has some canon clues as to the answer.  I submit to you that Sora may have gotten his necklace from Riku, which doesn’t explain where Riku got it, but does give some emotional weight to the object. As we know, the Oathkeeper and Oblivion keyblades are symbolic of Sora’s relationships with and/or memories of Kairi and Riku, respectively (and each are given to Sora after significant story events regarding these characters in both kh1 and kh2);  “The precious “Oathkeeper”, which Sora received from Kairi. The jet-black Keyblade, symbolic of Riku. The Oblivion, at first, was called Riku’s Keyblade.” - Nomura, Famitsu interview.  (Interestingly, Riku can actually wield Oblivion in 358/2 Days, briefly wields it in his fight against Roxas in KH2, and in the cinematic opening of DDD, Riku’s Way to Dawn keyblade is replaced by Oblivion in the fight against Xemnas, again reinforcing its significance in relation to Riku)

Now about the design of these two keyblades (don’t worry, I’ll get to the point).  Let’s have a look at Oathkeeper:

Two hearts, symbolic of Kairi’s status as a Princess of Heart and also perhaps Sora’s love for Kairi.  The teeth resembling the kanji for “light” and angel wings on the hilt , referencing Kairi’s heart of pure light.  The keychain made up of a braided cord and the thalasa shell wayfinder-esque charm given to Sora by Kairi, a reminder of his promise to return to her.  So, the blade’s design represents Kairi herself and perhaps Sora’s love for her, while the keychain itself is a significant object given to Sora by Kairi.

Now let’s look at Oblivion:

On the handle, demon-like wings and teeth that resemble the kanji for “darkness”, referencing Riku’s fall into darkness.  The purple diamond being a reference to Hollow Bastion, where many significant events took place between Sora and Riku, and where Riku lived during the events of kh1.  The chains that run the length of the keyblade may or may not be a symbolic reference to Riku’s possession by Ansem.  Now the keychain.  Hold on…what on earth could the crown have have to do with Riku?  Surely they could have found a more relevant symbol of Riku, perhaps the eye from his Soul Eater blade, or another variation of the heartless symbol, or more demon wings.  Unless…unless it IS a relevant symbol of Riku.  Just as the Oathkeeper keychain became a symbol of the relationship between Sora and Kairi after she gave it to him, could it be that the Oblivion keychain is a symbol of Sora’s relationship with Riku because Riku gave Sora the crown necklace?!  Even the chain is the same.  The only difference is the color, again denoting Riku’s fall into darkness.

Now the question of whether the necklace has lore significance remains.  This is where speculation gets more uncertain.  While the crown symbol shows up many times, there are some places that I feel may hint at it being more significant.  The outline of the crown can be seen on the teeth of both the Kingdom Key and Kingdom Key D.  The crown symbol can also be seen in KH2 on the floor whenever Sora unlocks a new gummi route with his keyblade.

The Kingdom Key:

I can’t understand why such a significant lore related keyblade would have a hidden mickey keychain of all things.  After all, we know that these specific keyblades, Kingdom Key and Kingdom Key D, are necessary for locking the Door to Darkness on both sides, and the light Kingdom Key is the basis for the design of the X-Blade itself.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a crown keychain? This lends to the idea that the crown symbol in this case has no lore significance and is just a symbolic reference to Kingdom Hearts.  However, we all know how Nomura likes to take minute details that were in all likelihood not originally intended to be significant and make them significant in later games.  This is just wild speculation, but could it be that Sora’s necklace was in fact originally a keychain?  Could it be THE keychain of Kingdom Hearts?  There is barely any evidence to go on here, except one very small thing: the logo of the Keyblade Graveyard.

Notice how the letters K, E, and G are all designed to resemble the default keyblades of Terra, Ventus, and Aqua.  But what about the letter D?  One would expect this to be a reference to Mickey, seeing as he was there at the graveyard as well- and on one level it might be.  But for one thing, Mickey didn’t even have Kingdom Key D yet, and secondly, the  keychain is wrong.  Even though the design of the handle is the Kingdom Key, the keychain is Sora’s necklace.  What would be the purpose of referencing Sora or the Kingdom Key here?  I suppose it could just a case of the crown being a reference to Kingdom Hearts, which was the focus of the Keyblade wars and was summoned by Xehanort here.  But why a keychain, and why on the Kingdom Key?  What would happen if Sora actually used his necklace as a keychain?  Could there be another version of the Kingdom Key we haven’t seen yet?  I don’t have any answers here, but it does spark a lot of fun speculation.

Phantom of the Opera explained, song by song
  • Prologue: Once upon a time...
  • Overture: If this song played at your funeral, you'd rise from the dead
  • Think of Me: Musical theatre version of the Eye of the Tiger montage
  • Angel of Music: Yeah it's totally my dead dad
  • Little Lotte: Friendzoned
  • The Mirror: Friendzoned part 2
  • Title Song: This isn't my dead dad
  • Music of the Night: This organ isn't the only thing I can use my fingers on
  • Stranger Than You Dreamt It: U G L Y u ain't got no alibi u ugly
  • Magical Lasso: Bitch shut up
  • Notes: This is just about the only comic relief you get in this damn show
  • Prima Donna: What's the worst that can happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Poor Fool: 🐸
  • Why Have You Brought Me Here: There's like one redeeming trait in Erik and I'm holding onto it sorry Raoul the music is too bomb (still hella scared though)
  • All I Ask of You: The first happy moment of the show
  • All I Ask of You Reprise: Betrayal, anger, falling chandeliers, and this isn't even the worst that can happen yet
  • Masquerade: The second and final happy moment of the show
  • Why So Silent: Happy time is over
  • Notes: The fuck?
  • Twisted Every Way: Terrible idea. Let's do it.
  • Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again: Time to be a strong independent woman
  • Wandering Child: Not falling for the dead dad thing this time, wait maybe...
  • Bravo Monsieur: Imma fite everyone, let my damn opera start
  • The Point of No Return: If sex was a song
  • Final Lair: Great googly moogly it's all gone to shit
the foxes as things i've overheard at art camp
  • neil: i haven't slept in two days but i can still hold this pencil [pencil is shaking in hand]
  • andrew: i'm gay and i like this knife
  • kevin: my son has abandoned us for soccer— he's dead to me now
  • aaron: do you think this white pastel is actually just powdered pills solidified again
  • nicky: 'someone called me straight yesterday' <i>'i'm so sorry'</i>
  • matt: not all heroes wear capes, bro
  • dan: <i>'yeah i'm a feminist, i'm wearing pink even though i'm a guy'</i> 'that's not feminism, bitch'
  • renee: everyone is beautiful...
  • allison: ...but some people are more beautiful than others
  • seth: <i>'there's a lot of hostility going on in here, isn't there?'</i> 'oh yes, there is'
  • wymack: i used to avoid them, but then i realized something— i don't give a shit what they think of me
  • abby: do not poison your body with expired plastic and chemical juice or i'll have to hold your hand all day
  • bee: aw, look at you guys with all the life crushed out of you, come chat with me about that if you want
  • jean: my goal today is to be as edgy as possible
  • jeremy: all my professors were like 'ugh, no one uses bright color in serious artwork,' and i was like 'SCREW THAT!' and used Lisa Frank colors in everything
  • riko: i want to use a dead body in my art, like in the horror movies

me, trying to come up with all the personal reasons I wasn’t invited to a SS even though I know it had absolutely nothing to do with me: maybe its because I didnt put LA in my bio, maybe it’s because I changed my url, maybe it’s because I made it known that i hate dogs and taylor decided she likes dogs again, maybe it’s because I don’t post selfies, maybe i haven’t reblogged enough of those “reblog for good luck” posts, maybe my invite got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much, maybe this thing was a masterpiece until y

Originally posted by goverload

  • Me: having a structured life is exhausting!
  • Therapist: I understand. Let's say just get up in the morning, get some breakfast, go for a walk...and that's it for a start.
  • Me: *internally: sounds reasonable, but that means first fighting against my will to just stay in bed and act as if I'm not existing. Getting up either way and facing my face and body in the mirror. There's an 80% chance that it's one of those days and I hate myself just so fucking much I could scream. But there's also a chance I look in the mirror and find a person that does not seem to be familiar to me looking back at me. Still, now you want me to shower and wash this body I find really disgusting. I have to see every single scar I have and maybe feel the burn of fresh cuts. Then I have to put on cloth, brush my teeth and my hair and do my makeup, as I can't go outside without hiding my ugly face under layers of primers and foundations and powders and highlighters and fake lashes and a perfect contour and a big nude fake smile. I spend money I don't have to make myself look good enough for myself to endure my own appearance. I remember to take my meds. Now I'm dressed (in clothes that hopefully say 'i don't care' when really I care a lot) and can go to the kitchen to prepare food that I know I won't be able to eat in 50% of the cases. There's also a good chance that I eat it and then find myself throwing up and ruining my makeup feeling every single disgusting cell of fat on my body vibrate while trying to breathe. Well either way let's say I might redo my make-up, brush my teeth again and step outside. I maybe take my horse with me and walk through the neighbourhood. I have to see people. I feel anxious. I would love to just turn around and go back home. But I keep on walking, trying to seem selfconfident so my horse and neighbours can't see or feel my insecurity. I'll try to be friendly and act normal even though I'm sure they hate me and laugh about me. Still if the communication between my horse and me isn't perfect today I'll probably cry and if a neighbour just looks at me in a way that i interpret to be unfriendly or cold or annoyed I'll probably cry too. Let's say I'm back home. Now it's like 11 in the morning. What do I do? By now I'm an emotional wreck, tired as hell, probably planing on how to harm myself with one half of my brain while the other half bundles it's last energy to prevent exactly this from happening. How do I survive the rest?*
  • Me: I'll try.


Who am I now in this world without her? 
Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her.
What does it matter, it’s already done. 
Now I’ve got to be there for her son.

Then and Now | Waldemar Edition

bonus: some things never change

anonymous asked:

jd, don't you ever feel even a little bit guilty about the fact that this is all hard on veronica? there has to be some part of you that knows this isn't whats best for both of you. are you really happy, or just hiding your feelings?

I don’t really get the whole “making other people feel bad” thing.  I mean I’m doing a good thing here!  But the whole topic on “repression” is sorta speaking to me though.  Damn, I’m craving a slushie.