even though the water is disgusting

Taehyung takes being mean to you too far. Part.5

[Part.1] [Part.2] [Part.3] [Part.4] [Part.5]

Originally posted by rapnamu

Taehyung’s p.o.v

I woke up to the scent of vanilla hitting my nose, the scent is pleasant and not too strong. Lying there still with my eyes closed, I felt slight movements in my arms, something that was warm and snuggly. I opened my eyes and looked at the figure I held in my arms, Y/N was lying on top of my left arm whilst I had my right arm draped over her waist, in other words - we were basically cuddling. I lifted my arm and froze there for a second to try and gather my thoughts.

Keep reading

AUish Headcanon for Jack Morrison

So I have this old AU Headcanon for Jack Morrison that I have never done much with, that I was inspired to talk about because I read a fic that had something similar.

Most of the canon information we get about Jack is that he was charismatic, inspiring, a real captain America type person. People loved him and respected him and he brought out the best in everyone.

A certain portion of the fandom’s response is to twist that into selfishness and turn those positive traits into negative ones. I.e he is secretly an asshole or something like that. I understand the desire to try to deconstruct this, but I personally took it in a slightly different direction and a step or two further. This is going to be a long one.

People in universe don’t really talk about Jack Morrison like he is a person, they talk about him more like he is a symbol. It is something that people will often do, but I like to think that a part of the reason that they do that is because he is seriously like that when people meet him.

So I have to explain why Jack would act this way and the answe became, because he is incapable of handling emotions and people normally. Most specifically he lacks any real empathy. He understands that other people have wants and desires, that they have agency and are individuals in the same way that he is, but this understanding is intellectual and learned.

Jack had to learn, largely on his own, to understand why other people act like they do and what was expected of him in social situations. As a result his youth was very rough and intensely frustrating for him and those around him. He was brilliant and tenacious though and, over time, he slowly learned how to get people to act the way he wanted them to. He learned how to talk to people, to convince them of things and how to smile to put people at ease and get them to open up and relax.

Going into high school practically nobody would have connected him to the cold and occasionally cruel kid he used to be. He laughed, smiled, flirted, joked around. He had started working out and eventually tried out for sports. He didn’t rest until he was the star quarterback, the most respected member of the most popular sports team in school. He was a social butterfly of the highest order, he even, of course, was prom king.

He didn’t just excel when it came to being social or playing football, no. His grades were impeccable, his test scores practically perfect. He took the highest level courses available to him: calculus, sciences. You name it he took it. He graduated valedictorian.

Over the course of his early life he went from the local trouble child to the kid everyone wished they had. He was the wonder boy. Everyone loved him, he always had time for everyone, managed to keep up with his school work and studies. People called him a superman, amazed that he could manage everything he did with a smile on his face.

The truth of the matter was that he did nothing but all of this, all the time. He had no hobbies, nothing he did for fun or relaxation. All of his energy went into being absolutely perfect in this rather specific way. The few people who understood, to some degree, what he was doing would never understand his motivations.
That motivation had a lot to do with his evolving sense of self. As a relatively natural consequence of the way he thought about people, it was easy to elevate himself over them. They were easy to predict and manipulate and that affected his growing philosophy and relationship to people as a whole.

His personal philosophy has a wide range of influences. It was as he reached his high school graduation that he had begun to get a rather consistent and coherent sense of what that was. To somewhat oversimplify, he has a strong belief in his own superiority over others. He feels a need to show people that he is better than them, but also, to make them love him for it.

The sort of interesting consequence of this is that he holds himself up to a near impossible standard, while at the same time having a hard time blaming people for things that they do wrong. He easily dismisses others’ actions because they don’t know any better, or are incapable of doing better on their own. It’s a weird I can’t be mad at them because they couldn’t do better even if they wanted to thing.

He joins the military at the cusp of the crisis because he knows that he will be able to do something about it better than anyone else and he couldn’t leave his own safety in the hands of others. Even here he manages to say and do the exact right thing. His superiors love him, most of his colleagues do too.

Through his excellence he is offered a chance to join the SEP and he jumps at the opportunity. It was another way to make him better than he already was.

This is where most of my stories with this Headcanon begin, because this is where it all changes. This is where he meets Gabriel Reyes and he is forced to reevaluate his relationship to other people.

A small group of highly qualified soldiers are brought together to undergo experimental procedures to make them better. Jack charms his fellow recruits and the people in charge easily enough, but one person seems to resist his every attempt at manipulation. His bright smiles don’t seem to work, his smooth words fall on deaf ears and even his small town charm and naïveté don’t seem to produce the results he wants. No matter how hard he seems to try he and Gabriel do not get along.

They end up being roommates, much to Gabriel’s annoyance and Jack’s approval. It would give him plenty of time to work on whatever was going on that made Gabriel dislike him. Jack had met other people who were more difficult to work with than most. The most common of these tended to react somewhat contrarily, meaning they needed to be handled differently.

He tried flipping around his tactics, manipulating Gabriel into thinking he wanted one thing while he was after another. No matter what he did it was like the other man anticipated things. He would never react the way Jack expected or wanted and everything he did seemed to make the man dislike him more and more.

That distance only vanished when Jack gave up and eventually stopped trying. He stopped putting on his fake smile and laughing about things. Jack had not intended to do that, but the pain, fever and just plain torture of their treatments often left him out of sorts and eventually they talked.

When they were delirious from pain Jack didn’t have the presence of mind to pretend to be something else. He spoke clinically and precisely, often talking about emotions and reasons for actions in a way that always made people nervous or upset. Jack figured it would end up making things worse, but instead Gabriel started talking to him.

It only seemed to annoy Gabriel when Jack pretended too hard. When he was somewhat relaxed and natural for him, Gabe would smile. He wasn’t sure if Gabe understood just how deep his emotional disconnect ran, but it didn’t seem to drive him away.

Gabriel was the first person in his entire life that he could relax around. When Jack said or did atypical things he never commented unless they caused an actual problem and he was understanding even when they did. It helped as well that Gabriel was brilliant and strong and fast, he was everything Jack thought himself and possibly more.

There is no single moment that he can point to where he fell in love with Gabriel Reyes. It just seemed as natural to him as breathing. Before meeting Gabe he had never considered the possibility of finding someone worthy of his respect, let alone admiration. For everyone else his actions were dictated by their external reactions, but with Gabe he paused to consider how things would make him feel and what the man would want. Considerations that he had never given anyone but himself.

He would worry about impressing the man, constantly striving, not to be the best anymore, but to make Gabriel smile, to meet his approval. Gabriel would wrestle him to the ground, he would knock his ass out in boxing. Gabriel could bench press more, Jack outran him on the track. Before long Jack began actively wanting to spend time with him and lamenting when he could not.

Gabriel made the first move, because of course he did. Jack had no idea how to handle the way he felt. One night, after another intense sparring session, Gabriel grabbed him before he made it to his bed and kissed him. It was a quick chaste kiss, testing the waters. Jack reacted poorly, pulling away, confused by the sudden touching.

The look on Gabriel’s face when he did so was the most distressing thing Jack had ever experienced. He could recognize the pain that the other man felt and before he could do anything, Gabe bolted out the door. Jack had only a few moments to consider his response before he was chasing the other man. He had recoiled because the thought of such physical intimacy, sharing bodily fluids even, had always disgusted him.

He had never meant to hurt Gabriel though and he needed to apologize. Luckily Jack was faster and he managed to tackle him to the floor before he got too far. He didn’t know what to say to fix this, so he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed Gabriel back. Gabriel returned and deepened the kiss and Jack realized that with Gabriel things were different, as long as it was Gabe then he could do this and make him happy.

They spend even more time together talking, often alone so Jack could drop his act. Jack begins learning about Gabriel and how he wants to save the world. He wants to protect people and fight for peace. He learned about altruism from Gabriel like the concept was new, like he had never heard anyone else spout it out like nonsense.

It wasn’t nonsense when Gabriel talked about helping others, about sacrifice and the greater good. Even though Jack did not understand that he was in love with Gabriel at the time he truly admired the slightly older man. He began to question his own beliefs, because if Gabriel Reyes cared for and respected other people, as flawed as they were, who was Jack to dismiss them out of hand?

He never did tell Gabriel about what he thought of other people or why he joined. He did not want the man to think less of him. Instead he internalized Gabriel’s desire to protect and built himself anew around that. He and Gabe were better than everyone else and as such it was their duty to protect and guide them. He would be the hero that Gabriel wanted him to be because he wanted Gabriel to be happy.

This is why he acts the way he does, why people talk about him like he’s something that isn’t human. It’s because he acts like it. He is practically perfect through practice and will. He embodies the values that Gabe distilled into him and like everything in his life, he takes it to its ideological extreme. They treat him like he was a ray of sunshine that could inspire the greatest loyalty in anyone and he was, because he consciously worked every second of every day to be that.

Phew that was long and rather specific. I have more about this AU and where it splits off and about Gabriel and stuff if anyone is interested.

It’s interesting but super hard to write well/super easy to screw up.


Remus x reader

Warnings: Angst I guess dude. Swearing. Always coming at you unedited.

“Remus. Fuck fuck fuck,” You panted, trying to catch your breath.

Blood was pounding in your ears. The darkness made it impossible to see anything in front yourself. A distant howl forced you to run on.

It wouldn’t be long until Remus would catch up. Running away from a werewolf is impossible, especially when it knew your scent so well.

“God fuck,” you whispered to yourself, “Since when do you forget to take your wolfsbane.”

Suddenly the wolf cut you off. He bared his teeth at you, growling his threat.

“Remus, love,” you pleaded, hoping beyond hope to bring back his human side, “This isn’t you. You’re the man I love, come back to me.”

Instead the wolf advanced quickly, claws scratching at your skin. Screams pierced the night, as you struggled against the wolf’s attack. As the attack progressed, you found it impossible to hold on to your consciousness.

It seemed to take forever for the beast to be satisfied with the pain it caused before it left. You’re body felt like lead and the pain was unbearable. Whimpers escaped as you thought about the pain and what Remus would do when he realized what was done while he was the beast. It was too much and your mind just let go.



You felt someone shaking you. /No no, stop it hurts./

“Please, YN, answer me. Please? Love, I need you,” you heard a man crying as he pleaded.

Who was that? Wait…Remus! It had to be!

You opened your eyes, the sun blinding you momentarily. “Re-Remus,” you managed a small, tired smile.

“Love, love, I’m so sorry. I understand if you can’t forgive me,” he cried, pulling you onto his lap, “I could never forgive myself.”

A couple of tears escaped as you started to feel the pain in your body. “Re? It’s not your fault. You weren’t you…. C-can we please go home?”

“Of course it’s my fault, darling,” he rose up with you in his arms, “I didn’t take my wolfsbane. How could I be so stupid and forget?”

“It was a mistake. C'mon love, I’m okay,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Be hap-”

“You want me to be happy?” He asked anger clouding his eyes, “How the hell so you expect me to feel happy after what I did? In control or not. I did this!”

You hid your face between his neck and shoulder. “I’m sorry…”

“And now you’re apologizing to me…” he shook his head, “It’s not right.”

The two of you spent the next couple of hours in silence. Remus spent the better part of the walk in self pity. You had forgiven him, even during the attack. Taking a small peek at him, you checked his own damages from the transformation. He looked pale and ill, more so than usual, a new scar joined the ones on his face.

You wiggled out of his arms, ignoring his complaints. “We’re two streets down,” you held his hand as you limped along, “Anyhow you’re in bad shape too.”

“Love please? As you said, it’s not that far from home and I want to see what happened to your leg before you start walking on it.”

“It’s just a sprain, nothing more,” you winced as you accidentally let your weight on the injured ankle, “I can take it. It’s not as bad as it probably looks.”

He rolled his eyes and started walking off alone towards home. “Since you don’t need me, I’ll just make my way home alone.”

“Love you, too, Remus,” you sighed, completely tired of the situation.

“You shouldn’t.” He left, his strides quickly creating distance between the two of you.

Even though the house wasn’t far off it took you at least thirty minutes to get there. Your ankle felt as if it was on fire. Not to mention your body felt absolutely disgusting.

Once inside you went to the bathroom to clean off the dirt and dried blood, hissing as the water pelted your cuts. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you stepped out of the shower. Maybe a bit of rest would help the both of you.

“Hey, Rem, let’s get some sleep. We’ll feel better. Maybe some chocolate too?” You asked, walking into the room. Taking notice of the suit case on the bed you raised your brows, “What the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like, YN,” he sighed, packing in more clothes, “I’m not staying with you.”

“W-what?” Your vision blurred, “Remus John Lupin, you’re not going anywhere-” he moved past you at the door way, “Why should I be punished for your mistake?”

“If I do it once, more probable than not it will happen again,” he shoved a book into his bag, “Hell be damned if I allow it to happen again.”

Your anger took over. “Fine! Leave, run away from your problems! Here I have a couple of books for you to read! They all leave in these too,” you screamed as you started throwing books at him.

The two of you stayed there for a minute. You shocked and afraid. Remus angry and remorseful. Slowly, Remus sank on to his knees, resting his head on your stomach as he attempted to calm. You stroked his cheek, wishing for him to change his mind.

He stood, wiping tears from his eyes, “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go..”

He pressed a kiss to your cheek before picking up his bag and leaving.

Originally posted by mmoony

Kampos -- Part Two

Second installment of A Thing I’m Writing For @reioka. Gettin into the story guys. Sorry for the cliffhanger (not) also, don’t know when I’m going to be able to update next, because I just started my first job and it’s long hours and takes a lot out of me. I’ll try though!!! 

Part One

It quickly became clear that Steve and Bucky hadn’t really thought this out well. With Pepper tutting in the background they fretted, worrying over the hows and wheres of exactly what they were going to do with Tony. Hill wasn’t happy; Tony didn’t like her, and was very much cowering behind Bucky’s sheepish legs.

“Which idiot broke the tank?” Steve elbowed Bucky, who scowled.

“He’s better out here.” Hill pinched the bridge of her nose.

“He’s an ocean animal. For all you knew he couldn’t breathe air!” Bucky grumbled but had the tact to look properly apologetic and chastised. “How are you planning on moving him? Where are you planning to put him? You do realize seahorses aren’t freshwater animals, right?”

“You could let me go?” Tony tried weakly, his tail curling reflexively.

A gasped “My God” cut off whatever reply he would’ve gotten as a new human entered the room. This one had swirly, driftwood colored hair and bubbles floating in front of his eyes. “When I heard Zola ranting to those soldiers I thought he had finally gone crazy.” The human was staring and Tony didn’t really like that, although he thought he could take the human if it came down to it. The plates of his tail clicked as he curled and uncurled it, reminding himself to use his nose and not his gills. “Look at him. Amazing! And he’s intelligent.”

“He talks,” Pepper said proudly, as if she were the one who taught him human speech.

“I talk,” he echoed weakly, tired of being spoken about like he wasn’t there, curling his tail around Steve’s leg when he stepped too close. Steve grimaced but didn’t move away, smiling shyly down at Tony to encourage the closeness. The driftwood-haired human lit up, rushing forward and kneeling next to Tony, holding out his hand. This was one of those strange human habits that Tony didn’t know how to react to – they all stuck their hands in his face, like they expected him to do something with it. He stared at it, puzzled, before leaning up and nuzzling his cheek against it in affection and greeting, as he would with Natasha or Clint. The humans all got a very strange look on their faces, like they had eaten a jellyfish and it was floating around in their tummies. The driftwood-haired human withdrew his hand, his face blooming.

“I’m Bruce Banner. I’m going to help get you situated and then we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”

“You won’t send me home.” It was more weakness than words, and more statement than question. He was ignored, Steve and Bucky glancing at each other uncomfortably.

“I have a tank” Bruce Banner was saying to Hill, rubbing his bubbles on his shirt, somehow without popping them.

“You mean the one you created that slime monster in?” Hill deadpanned.  

“Maybe,” Bruce answered. “We just need to fill it with water and treat it.”

“How much is this treatment going to cost?”

“A lot.”

The tank was large, so large that Tony could’ve let salt escape after being stuck in the prison for so long, but it was still not as nice as the ocean would’ve been. It took Bruce Banner a long time to get it filled. Steve and Bucky, with a very real worry about Tony drying out, took to pouring buckets of water over him. It was fresh water, but it was kind, and Tony wouldn’t die from it like a real seahorse would (at least not immediately), so it was fine.

Most of these SHIELD humans were kind to him. Actually, most of the SHIELD humans avoided or ignored him, which was very nice. Bucky, Steve, Pepper, and Bruce Banner were nice though – he wasn’t yet sure about Hill. Especially because he thought a hill was a mound of something which humans liked to climb, and human Hill was certainly not that.

The water in the tank was perfect, and he gasped in surprise as Bucky and Steve lowered him in. It felt good rushing past his gills, and he actually did leak salt, looking at the humans through the glass (and this glass didn’t distort his vision! How amazing humans were!). He beamed at Bruce Banner, who bloomed and rubbed the back of his neck, tilting his hair down.

“I did some research,” Tony heard him say faintly through the glass and water, and smiled brighter, turning to explore his new (hopefully temporary) home.

His dorsal fin beating, he uncurled out his tail, relishing in the feeling of being able to stretch out and the absence of the heavy weight that came over his body in the air with the humans. He stretched his tail, curling it around one of the fake plants someone had kindly anchored to the bottom of the tank for him underneath the sand, finally feeling safe, and popped his head above the water so he could speak with the humans.

“Thank you Bruce Banner!” he chirped.

The humans wanted to look at him.

He didn’t really want the humans to look at him, because last time humans had ‘looked at’ him it had hurt a lot and they hadn’t done much looking, more prodding. So he told them that his gills hurt and he wanted to be in the water for a few days, surprised when they agreed. They were also as appalled (read: disgusted) as he was that the other humans had fed him dead food instead of live, and graciously provided him with live food to catch and enjoy.

And after they were so kind to him, he had to let them look at him, didn’t he?

Bruce Banner was the one doing the looking. He was surprisingly gentle, explaining everything he did. Bucky and Steve stood by with him, and Tony felt safer, even though he liked Bruce Banner a lot, especially when Bruce Banner brought out the needle because he wanted to take a liquid called blood out of Tony’s body. They all promised that it wouldn’t hurt him and he could live without a little bit of it, because Bruce Banner wouldn’t take it all, so he agreed, but he forced Bucky to hold his hand while the sharp metal went into his arm. Steve stood at his tail, letting him curl around his arm in anxiety, and Tony was grateful for that as well, because it made him feel more safe. When he had his tail around something, the currents couldn’t blow him away, so it was always safer.

It didn’t hurt, and Bruce Banner really did take only a little (Tony had seen more body liquid – blood – in some fish he had eaten), and Tony decided he really liked these humans. His herd was gone anyway (don’t think about it, don’t think about it), so he might as well stay here.

It was awkward when Bruce Banner wanted to see his pouch. There wasn’t much to see, and only his mate was supposed to touch there, but the humans were still being nice to him and he still had his tail wrapped around Steve’s arm even though Steve was making a face now (Bucky kept telling him to breathe) so he let Bruce Banner look, ‘palpitating’ (he guessed it meant gently pressing, from what was happening) his belly where his plates met his skin, and then lower where his pouch was. It wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable – he couldn’t really feel it – but he didn’t really know what Bruce Banner was looking for either. It was the same pouch as any other seahorse, nothing really special about it, but Bruce Banner was fascinated with it.

Later Bucky was going to let him try something called chocolate when Bruce Banner walked up, looking perplexed.

“Tony, you know you’re producing pregnancy hormones, right?”

Part Three ~~ Part Four

All In

I’m hoping people are enjoying this. Please let me know if you are, that would really mean a lot! If you have any feedback or ideas for the future please let me know! Love, Mami x

All In Playlist

Originally posted by mx-scans

One | Chapter Two - The Hunter | Three |

Fresh coffee and metal mixed in the air as you strolled down the market of the streets. Sellers wore dirty clothes, but you could see the passion welling in their eyes, it was like their story was written in them. Guilt crossed you, you didn’t have much, but you knew these people needed what little they could get to feed themselves or their children. You bit the inside of your cheek and took the stabbing wound inside your chest as you ignored a man’s plea to look at his woven blankets.

“We needed medical supplies, didn’t we?” Changkyun asked, tilting his head to the left where a old woman sat behind her stool, a dreamy look in her eye as she looked up at the falling sun as it set by the horizon.

“Yeah, we should get them and leave soon though, it’ll be getting dark.” You responded, and he nodded in agreement is he Put his arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his side. You were like putty in his hands.  

“Don’t sound so worried, you’ve got me to protect you.” He grinned, messily rubbing his palm against your hair, messing it up. You scowled, and punching him in the side, retreating from him, but smiling playfully all the same. It seemed your guilt and sadness had ridden away after being chased by Changkyun’s charm, however cliche.

Once you’d approached the lady, you spoke the list precisely as Kihyun had told you before. A perfect recitation. The wiltering lady, Yewon, smiled. She took care to listen to each word as you spoke like she had all the time in the world.

“Anything for you, {y/n}.” The old lady’s croaky voice spoke in response to the recited list. She looked tired and worn, but the warmth in her eyes was something unlike you’d seen in a long time. If it wasn’t for her, you’d probably have forgotten what such kind eyes looked like by now. She reached out and started putting various corked bottles in a bag.

“Thank you.” You bowed.

“Why the politeness? you must be showing off in front of that striking gentleman with you. Tell me, is he your fella?” She winked as a heated blush coated your cheeks.

“N-no! You’ve met Changkyun before, he’s just a… friend.”

“Well there’s me put in my place.” Changkyun teased, reaching out for the bag of supplies when the lady handed them out. You felt the movement of his fingers opening the zip of your rucksack to slide them in. You pushed your palm into your pocket to hand Yewon the respective amount of money. You felt eyes draw as the coins thrashed in your pocket.

“Don’t be so silly. They’re yours.” Yewon offered, shaking her head in complete stubbornness as you tried to pay her. “Take her, will you Changkyun? I don’t want the money. Tell Kihyun I send my regards.”

Chankyun saluted, “Yes ma’am.” he laughed as he placed his hands on your hips from behind and swerved you away from the stall. You’d protest, but the warmth of his hands against you made it impossible to resist, and you shouldn’t complain really - it’s rare anything free comes by, unless it’s pain. Pain is always handed away free of cost.

You feel the hands on your waist replace with arms, arms that hugged you from behind. You were close to Changkyun’s chest. His lips breathed beside to your ear as he spoke. “Look at that, aren’t they pretty? I’m going to get you one.”

At first, you didn’t register what he meant, but then, he was at a flower stall, pointing at a rose as red as the blood that courses through your veins. He smiled charismatically at the flower stall holder, and you watched him - feeling a little heavy hearted.

He gave out smiles like it didn’t cost him a thing. He’s always been this way - the optimistic of the group. You sometimes wondered if he was ever burdened by that; not that he ever gave you any indication. He just seemed like he wanted to help everyone, to remind them what laughing felt like. You often wondered if he was sad like the rest of you, there must be something, but he conceals it better than a chameleon’s identity in the dead of night.

“Are you there, {y/n}?”

You shook back to reality, nodding at the question. You’d been so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed him come back.

“I got you this.” He portrayed the rose before your face before placing it behind your ear and woven in your hair. “Ah, as I thought. You look pretty.”

Your breath hitched, a blush rising to your cheeks. But there was no time to respond. Heavy footsteps stormed the stalls, bringing all attention on the men in leather boots and depressed gray uniforms. The police.

They held batons as black as their souls, and smirks that gave them the illusion they were above everyone else. They swaggered, one approaching yourself and Changkyun, he was familiar, but you couldn’t place him a name.

“A bit dangerous out here for you, little girl. It’s getting dark soon.” He spoke gruffly, looking at you from head to toe. “You’re almost asking for trouble.” He seemed suggestive as his smirk turned more twisted.

You rose your chin defiantly, swinging your fringe from your face to show your glare more clearly, but you spoke no words, he could have you locked up with the snap of his fingers. He stepped up before you, coming closer than your comfort zone allowed, but you didn’t back up.

“Maybe you should get back to the bedroom, that’s all your kind is good for. I could give you that honour-”

You jumped. It happened in a flash of a second. His face pushed to the left forcefully by Changkyun’s fist. The clash from flesh to flesh was loud, a snap that collected attention of other officers. Some laughed, others reached for their belts where guns would be loaded and ready.

But the punched officer was quick to respond, striking Changkyun with a painful crack to the face. You lurched in front of Changkyun, who was hissing curse words as he clutched his eye. You grabbed the officer at the wrist as he tried for a second hit.

“Don’t. Please. My friend is reckless, spare him some leeway.” You tried to reason.

“Why should I? He just attacked a police official.”

“I never said he had any brain cells.” You responded. “I apologise for his-”

The officer ripped the rose from your hair and threw it to the ground before pressing his thick boots against it. You watched in horror, looking up when words spluttered from his mouth again.

“Just get out of here, will you? Before you get a strike as well. Go on!” He cried in aggression, but you didn’t take a moment to hesitate. Spinning on your heal, you paced quickly away from the stalls, pulling Changkyun by his free arm with the other was still raised as he nursed his eye.

Neither of you spoke until you reached pebbled beach side. You climbed to a high rock, where waves crashed and sent mists of water. You sunk, sat crossed legged and lent back against a larger rock. It was moments like these that you felt slightly thankful to the world that you lived at a coastline.

Changkyun sank next to you, turning to look at you. You sighed at the redness of his eye, it would surely have a bruise of black and blue by the morning. You moved your palm to his cheek, gently stroking your thumb at the sensitive skin. He took a sharp breath, but never winced under your touch even though it clearly hurt.

“You’re an idiot.” You told him.

“He was disgusting.”

“And so will you be with that bruise tomorrow.” You teased, but he clearly wasn’t in the joking mood. He sighed.

“I don’t care how I look, he shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I would have decked him if you hadn’t jumped in front of me.”

Your rose lips curved at their edges, you couldn’t help it. The way his lips pouted like a child’s sulk, the way his eyes burned so fiercely and passionately. It somehow sparked hope within you. His act of defiance was stupid and idiotic, but maybe a little reckless is what you needed.

“I’m sure you would have decked him” You let a laugh slip past your lips, and that was it, a smile appeared on his face too. Finally, you loved him best when he was smiling.

“I would have, have you seen these guns? I could take on three at once, just you watch me.” He bantered, flexing his arm, letting the creases of his strength poke through his shirt. You pushed his chest lightheartedly, still radiating amusement.

“He even crushed that flower I got you, that bastard. I’ll get you another one sometime.” He looked out at the waves, looking more serious now.

You nodded, letting your head fall against his shoulder. “I’d like that.”

How to rescape fish tanks, pt 1

Step 1: Remove all driftwood while fish freak out.

Step 2: Remove all plants while fish panic and start spinning in circles.

Step 3: Spend half an hour swearing and yelling while trying to gently catch fish. Get upset because the cory cats you thought were going to be easy to catch ended up being the most difficult. Stir up substrate, make face at disgusting water, drain, fill, and repeat.

Step 4: Cry out in dismay when the log that you had soaking for two weeks suddenly decides it doesn’t want to sink anymore.

Step 5: Fix log sinking issue with bags of rocks. And bowls of rocks.

Step 6: Allow log to sink by putting lid and light back on the tank. Sit on bed and admire beautiful log. Realize you’re fucking weird because you’re admiring a log. Keep admiring log anyways.

Step 7: Keep admiring log even though your boyfriend makes fun of you. Go upstairs, shower, and get ready for date while waiting for log to sink. Don’t tell your boyfriend that as soon as you get home you’re going right back to playing in the fish tank rather than sexytimes. Wait for him to log onto tumblr and see this post. Apologize profusely while not really being sorry. Go on date while waiting for log to sink.

Admire log more.

One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I love you’ - 9. “I saved a piece for you.”

This was a prompt from the amazing @justkillingtimewhileiwait . Sorry it took so long to write and post, but thank you so much for getting me started. Hoping to get your next prompt done soon :)

Thank you to everyone who is reading too! Please let me know what you think, and if you have any prompts of this list you’d like me to write, just message me!

This was all Jay’s fault. It was usually him who ended up in large bodies of water when chasing after a suspect, so evidently, it had rubbed off on her. He had once told her that she had made him a better cop, and after that morning, she was definitely going to let him know that he made her a much more impulsive one.

Erin also blamed the fact that they had been split up that morning on Jay too, Hank having partnered her with Antonio whilst her boyfriend was sent out with Atwater. There had been no explanation as to why, and there definitely hadn’t been anything personal coming into work to mess with the dynamics. It was probably just Hank’s way of keeping them on their toes and making sure they worked well as a team, but as Erin peeled off the sopping wet layers off her body in the female shower room back at the precinct, she blamed Jay a little. God knows he didn’t have to do much to rile up their boss on the wrong day. For someone who was so adamant about keeping personal and professional apart, Hank sure sucked at it.

The steam rising from the shower began to warm her before Erin had gotten the last layers off. It was a mild October day, meaning that she had shrugged on a cardigan under her light jacket before heading out with Antonio to locate a perp. Not much of her remained dry after tackling the teen into the waters of Lake Michigan, even if they had been by the shore. The icy waters had penetrated far more than just her clothes, and as she left them all in one heap on the floor, Erin simply hoped the slightly scalding shower would chase away the cold that had seemed to have seeped into her bones.

She wasn’t sure how long she had stood under the spray for before there was a knock on the door, barely audible over the pounding water. But Jay’s voice rang loud and clear.

“Er? You in there?” he asked softly, and she could hear the door rattle as he tried the handle. Unfortunately for him, she had locked it out of habit. They were at work, after all, and the 21st employed more than just the two of them.

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We don’t like each other tag || Danisnotonfire

A/N: So this is an idea I had some time ago. I decided to write it and upload it today. I think it’s the longest imagine I have ever written. I hope you don’t mind.

Word count: 1,8 K

Summery: Dan and Y/N are both youtubers who meet again for a very special video. Love/Hate 

“Hey lovelies” I smiled and waved towards the camera that I had set up in front of my bed. It was my usual filming location but something was different today. I still wasn’t sure if my idea was a terrible or an incredibly good one.

“Today I have a little different video for you.” I excitedly exclaimed although my stomach was twisting and turning. I was so nervous I thought I’d throw up right onto the lens of my Canon.

“I have a special guest here. It’s someone who you would have never expected to see on this channel. Believe me, I’m kinda shocked, too. Anyways please welcome Dan Howell aka danisnotonfire” I announced to my viewers.

Dan suddenly jumped into the picture frame, smiling towards the camera.

“Hello Internet.” he said, trying hard not to cringe.

Stupid nostalgic signature phrase. Dan sat down on the bed next to me, careful to not let our bodies touch while doing so. I took a quick glance at him. He was wearing a jumper with zippers on his shoulders. What a dump invention. It seemed like he got even taller since the last time I had seen him, but that was impossible. Freaking giant.

“So the reason for our surprising collaboration is that I came up with a new Youtube video idea.

It’s called the ‘We don’t like each other tag'”

Dan couldn’t hide a slight smile as I said that.

“Great idea.” Dan sarcastically whispered under his breath, knowing well enough that I could hear him. Loud and clear. Asshole.

I shot him a warning look before I continued talking to the camera.

“What you don’t know is that me and Dan have known each other for a really long time. We actually went to the same kindergarten, primary school and high school.” I told my viewers.

Dan nodded. “Yeah, we have sadly known each other for that long.”

I snorted through my nose, enraged. He just sat there and cockily grinned.

“Right. So during all those years Dan got taller and even more arrogant but one thing didn’t change.

We never liked each other.” I explained.

Although that wasn’t entirely true. There was a time when we could stand each other quite well. That moment lasted for 10 seconds.

“Didn’t like is such an understatement. We hated each other.” Dan added, like the know-it-all he has always been.

For the split of a second I felt hurt sting in my chest, like a mean bee had made it’s way to my heart.

I shook it off and reminded myself that I had hated him too. I still do.

“So I have prepared a few question that we are going to ask each other. I thought they’d be fun or hard to do. It’s basically like the ‘Best friend tag’ just played with your biggest enemy.”

I had written questions on slips of paper and put them all into bowl. I gulped hard as I took the first slip out.

“What’s your favourite physical feature about each other ?” I read out loud.

Why I’m a doing this ?! That’s such a stupid question. Why did I write that down. Oh yeah, because I wanted to know his answer to it.

I eyed him up and down as if I had to search for something decent looking about him. I had spent my whole childhood with him. His chocolate brown eyes, his fluffy hair, or his damn dimples, yes I was well acquainted with those features.

“I guess your face is alright.” I answered nonchalantly, although I was actually sitting on needles. My hands were sweaty and my heart racing. Alright was such an understatement.

“Thanks.” Dan smirked and started to check me out.

I felt his streaking eyes travel over my body. His gaze made me feel vulnerable and insure, just like the shy me back in high school. Dan’s eyes landed on my chest. Although I wasn’t showing a lot of cleavage his eyes were glued to my breasts.

He cheekily grinned.

“I guess my favourite physical feature of yours have to be your boobs.” he told me completely unashamed.

Dan took a last glance at my chest before he said. “Boobs, yeah definitely.”

I rolled my eyes, totally infuriated.

Now it was his turn to reach into the bowl and pick a question.

“We don’t you like each other ?” He read out loud,with his posh British accent that reminded me of our home town.

Well that sounded like a question that could simply be answered, right ? Wrong.

I breathed in deeply.

“Your oh so sweet danisnotonfire ripped all my doll’s heads off in kindergarten.”

I stated jokingly, knowing that it wasn’t a legit argument.

Dan couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the memory. His laugh sounded through my Londoner apartment, it hadn’t changed a single bit.

“Your revenge was to push me into some bushes on the way home, remember?” Dan asked still laughing and I couldn’t help but join in. But things got way too serious way too soon again.

“In primary school Dan told everyone I had a contagious disease and nobody talked to me for a week.” I hissed, remembering all the pointing fingers and disgusted faces my friends made. He has always been mean and I never knew why.

“Wow, I was a genius even back then.” Dan said with a smirk. “Let’s not forget that you poured water onto my lap and told everyone I had wet myself a week after.” His voice sounded hurt. I bet his week wasn’t really amusing either, having everyone thing he still wets his pants.

Well, looks like I wasn’t the nicest little girl either. My actions where always based on revenge though. Never had I ever started one of our fights. I just made sure that Dan wouldn’t run over me completely. Compared to high school those years where the easy ones. Our biggest rivalry hadn’t even started yet.

As soon as we touched the topic we started shouting all of the things we did to each other in high school into each others faces. That list was long and I still hadn’t forgiven him for some of his actions.

We were both in wild rage. If we were not in our twenties I bet we would have already picked a physical fight.

“You embarrassed me in front of my crush.” I shouted, my cheeks flustered.

“He never talked to me again.”

“Oh really ? Because I heard you blew him in the bathroom stall two days later.” Dan spat into my face.

My eyes widened in shock. Sudden disgust filled my veins. Blood was rushing to my cheeks. I evilly glared at Dan who was sitting opposite me now.

“How dare you accuse me of that, you stupid prick. Who the fuck even told you that ?” I hissed,my eyes were formed to slits by now.

“You didn’t ?!” Dan suddenly asked completely surprised and dumbfounded.

I shook my head in disbelief.

“Of course not. You were the one who always told me that I’m a lame prude !” I shouted on top of my lungs. Anger was pulsing through my veins. I should have really named it 'The we hate each other tag’  Yes, I did hate Dan Howell, everybody’s favourite Youtuber.

Dan had grown silent, although I wasn’t done yet. I was way to mad to notice that the camera was still recording. I didn’t notice that the way he looked at me had changed either.

“Do you actually know what hurt me most ? Do you even realize why I actually hated you in high school, Daniel Howell ? It fucking hurt when you kissed me behind the bike shed but invited my best friend to prom.” I wasn’t even screaming anymore. My voice was low and reproachful. Tears were welling in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that I actually, after all those years, opened up and told him.

“It was such a dick move of yours and it hurt so bad.” I whispered tears streaming down my face.

Dan stared at me like a lightning had hit him. His mouth was slightly opened, as if he was searching for the right words to say.

“Wait, you liked me ?!” Dan asked plain panic written all over his face.

“You idiot ! Of course I did, why else would I push you into the freaking bushes?!” I shouted between sobs.

“That doesn’t make sense at all !” He exclaimed, his eyes worriedly flickering to the salty tears that rolled down my cheeks.

“Wait again, so when I kissed you behind the bike shed you actually.. like wanted me to ?” he asked confused. As my hot tears had reached my chin I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

“I had waited for you to kiss me since I knew what kissing was. What for god’s sake made you think I didn’t ?” I confessed for the first time in my life. Damn, yes. I wanted him to kiss me so bad.

Dan started shaking his head. He ran his huge hands through his fluffy brown hair.

“No, no, no. You can’t be telling me that you liked me ?! I still remember when I finally found all the courage to kiss you that day. You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach my face and it was our first kiss ever. I was shaking so hard that I nearly missed your mouth. Afterwards I was so scared. I thought you hated me for kissing you ! I’m sorry, I should have never asked your friend out. I just thought you were way out of my league.”

Dan was totally devastated when he realized what he had done and what future he had destroyed. He buried his head into his hands, whispering “I am such an ass.” again and again.

“Daniel, I would very much enjoy kissing you.” I heard myself say. Seconds later Dan’s head shot up and he looked at me with wide eyes. I shot him an assuring smile before he carefully cupped my cheeks with his large palms. My eyes shot close and then finally he crashed his lips onto mine and set fireworks off in my body. They exploded in my chest and the pit of my stomach, sending a tingly feeling through my inside. I had seen and felt that overwhelming firework before. About 8 years ago, when we kissed for the first time behind the bike shed. Since then I have waited for that sensation to return. It finally did.


Fic title: Voice of an Angel, by tfw_cas

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Dean singing in the shower is the most beautiful thing Castiel has ever heard, and he cannot stop himself from listening and fantasising every time. When he gets caught their relationship changes for ever.


Written for the Destiel & Cockles Sentence Monthly Challenge 

Part 1 of the Voice of an Angel? series

Prompt: Cas discovers Dean’s penchant for singing in the shower. 

As he walked down the hallway in the bunker Cas heard music coming from the direction of the shower room. Well… it wasn’t music, so much as singing and, yes, it was Dean’s voice. He would recognise it anywhere. He was singing a song Cas knew well; The Battle of Evermore, by Led Zeppelin. It was one of those on the repeatedly-listened-to mixtape belonging to the angel, with a label bearing the legend ‘Dean’s top 13 Zepp traxx’. It was also absolutely the most cherished possession he owned - even more so since the hunter had made its significance clear by refusing to take it back, saying ‘it’s a gift. You keep those.’

He stopped walking and revelled in the sweet melody; letting it wash over him, allowing it to cause an interesting reaction through his body. What he wouldn’t give to be under the water with Dean right now, holding him, caressing him, helping to wash that beautiful body… Oh, this is so wrong. Cas rushed away to his room, to deal with his situation hurriedly and messily. Whispering the most important word he knew - Dean - he achieved satisfaction. Panting, he lamented - not for the first time - that his sexual encounters with Dean were merely fantasies and that they could never be real.

Without even realising it, Cas started to find himself lurking near the shower room every time Dean was inside. It was a different song each time and he would listen to that wonderful voice, then rush back to his room with images in his mind. Images that he would store away for later; for his pleasure. Cas knew he should not keep doing this, but he could not help himself, and what harm was it doing, anyway?

The fourth time this happened, Sam appeared in front of him in the hallway. It was too late for Cas to hide, or invent an explanation for why he was just standing there, so he smiled as innocently as he could manage. “Hello Sam.”

“Hey Cas. What’s up?” The younger Winchester looked at him curiously.

Does he know why I’m here? Cas was alarmed at the thought that Sam might know what he had been doing. What if he tells Dean? “Nothing. I was… listening to the music.”

Sam looked very confused then. “Music? The only ‘music’ I can hear is Dean singing.” Yes, Sam did do the air quotes.

“Yes, isn’t it beautiful?” Cas had a blissful expression on his face, as Sam shook his head in disagreement.

“Dude. Dean is tone deaf. His singing is awful, man.”

“Sam, you are wrong. He has the voice of an angel. It touches me inside.”

“Ew, that’s gross Cas. I did not want to know that.” Sam looked truly disgusted at the thought and started to leave. Before he could get away, though, they heard Dean call from the showers.

“Hey. What’s going on out there? Are you two arguing?”

Before Cas could even open his mouth Sam shouted back. “Yeah. Cas thinks you have the voice of an angel, and I told him your singing sucks.”

Cas was frozen to the spot, as Sam laughed heartily. “I’m leaving before he dumps a bucket of water over me.” He tossed his hair and walked away, leaving Cas to deal with the consequences of Dean’s discovery.

A moment later, Dean came out from the shower room with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Water dripped down his face, over his body, and onto the floor. Cas was completely transfixed by the vision in front of him and he was unaware that his eyes had widened or that his breath was coming out in short pants. The hunter noticed immediately, however, and walked quickly over to him; invading his personal space.

“So Cas… you like my singing, huh?” Unable to speak, the angel nodded and swallowed thickly.

Gently mimicking him, Dean nodded back, and smiled shyly. “Do-do you think you might need a shower, Cas? I think you’re a little dirty.”

Cas blinked a couple of times as his brain tried to register what Dean had just said. Did he mean what I think he meant? “Is that a flirtation?”

“Do… you want it to be?”

What, were they only speaking in questions now? Cas decided that it was time for him to act. Grabbing hold of Dean’s towel, he pulled him forwards, until their chests were touching. Looking Dean straight in the eyes he growled. “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Before the hunter could reply, Castiel crushed their lips together. The kiss was hard and passionate; all teeth and tongues, and gorgeous lips that moved against his perfectly. The hunter made a kind of purring sound and - oh Chuck - Cas’s body responded in a way he had not experienced before. He found himself grinding his hips into Dean’s, Dean gasped, and the angel took the opportunity to plunge his tongue into the man’s mouth. Tasting him, feeling him - it was almost too much - especially as he was grinding right back, with just as much enthusiasm.

“D-Dean, I think I am going to-”

“No no, not yet.” Dean drew back slightly, panting. “C’mon Cas, shower.”  

Fuck the shower. Cas tried to pull the man back towards him and finish what they had started right there. But Dean was insistent. “Sam won’t disturb us in there.”

Taking hold of his hand, Dean led Castiel into the steam-filled room. He was just as impatient as the angel, grabbing roughly at the trench coat before throwing it in a corner. Dean made quick work of the rest of the clothes too, until Cas stood in front of him naked and a little shy. He paused to take in the glorious sight before him.

“Cas… god.” He drew in a shaky breath and Castiel captured his mouth again; smashing their lips together with hunger and want. As they kissed, he backed Dean up against the shower wall and pinned him against the tiles with his body, then began to slowly roll their hips together. Dean tried to switch the shower on, but it was difficult when Cas was all over him like that. Eventually, he managed to reach over far enough and the water began to beat down on them relentlessly. As they explored each other in wonder, Cas started pulling Dean’s hair softly before running his hands down the sides of his neck and onto his chest. He was a work of art and Cas wanted to admire every inch of him. When his hands wandered lower, Dean broke off the kiss and groaned.

“Fuck Cas. Where’d you learn how to do that?”

Cas’s hand had reached Dean’s cock, and he had begun to stroke it. “You mean this?”

“Y-yeah. Ahhhh… all of it. The kiss-“ Dean trailed off as the strokes sped up. Cas planted little kisses over his neck and chest; then moved down to his nipple and flicked it with his tongue.

Dean bucked his hips forward and cried out. “Jesus. Fuck, Cas… I’m-” The rest of what he said turned into incoherent babbling, as Cas - somehow expertly - brought him to the best goddam orgasm he had ever had. The hot liquid spilled over Cas’s hand, as the angel continued to jerk him until he was spent. As his eyes came back into focus, Dean found that Castiel was watching him intently and he suddenly felt very exposed.

“What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I wanted to watch you in your most intimate moment. You are so beautiful, Dean.”

Sap. Dean became aware that Cas was still in need of release - despite the constant grinding - and he flipped their positions so that the angel was now against the wall. He dropped to his knees and kissed the tip of Cas’ dick, before he gave it a little lick. The noise Castiel made at this was positively sinful, and very encouraging, so he moved forward slightly and took it into his mouth.

“Dean!” Cas cried out, and this just spurred the man on. He reached around and placed his hands on Cas’ ass cheeks, then started to bob his head - taking as much of the cock into his mouth as he could; swirling his tongue along the shaft and around the head.

“DeanDean… fuck.” The angel’s cries were getting louder and Dean could see him scrabbling his hands on the tiles, trying to grab hold of something. The hunter took the angel’s hands and placed them on his head. As Castiel pulled at Dean’s hair, their eyes locked again and the hunter realised now why Cas wanted to look at him while he came. Watching your lover’s face as they fell apart was a fucking big turn-on.

Castiel continued to cry out - Jesus, he’s loud - and his breathing became ragged as he approached his release. The pulls on Dean’s hair became rougher and the angel couldn’t help thrusting into that warm, velvety mouth. But Dean carried on and was rewarded with the salty, bitter liquid spilling down his throat as Cas came with a shout. “Dean! Shitfuck!” Dear Lord - Cas screaming obscenities as he orgasmed was hot as fuck.

They stayed like that until Cas started to become over-sensitive, then he pulled Dean back to his feet and kissed him softly. When they broke apart, Dean shook his head with an incredulous look on his face.

“You’ve got a filthy mouth, Cas. You know that? I kinda like it though.”

Cas chuckled. “I think it is you who has the filthy mouth, Dean. What you just did…” He looked earnestly into Dean’s face. “I-I hope we can do it again.”

“Yeah. That, and… other stuff. I wanna make you sing for me again.” Dean’s voice became breathy at the thought of what they might do.

“That was not singing Dean.” Cas looked very confused.

“Well, it was music to my ears.” Now who’s the sap?

Whatever happened, it was guaranteed that they would be making sweet music together again.

Three times and one (Part II)

Being an ordinary human girl among a group of extraordinary people with peculiar abilities on an entirely different planet can be much of a challenge, more so that you have taken quite a liking into a certain God of Mischief, with whom you oddly seem to get along with very well. Sounds like trouble? Well, you kind of asked for it.

Read it on AO3!

Part I

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Crushed by Karma

Day II: Honey/Tomato (prev.)

ao3 (notes included)

Out of all the ways they could punish her, they chose to give her kitchen duty.

Well, alright, she was cleaning the home ec. kitchen but still.

Chloe Bourgeois, cleaning up after someone? Ugh. Cleaning up after the underclassmen? Double ugh.

“I don’t remember our class being this messy,” she remarked, face screwing up in disgust as she examined the counters. “They were just making salsa.”

They even called in Sabrina to tutor some kids so she couldn’t come clean up in place of Chloe. Well, she would give them credit for getting smarter after all these years. As much as Sabrina adored her best friend, she would never risk her perfect student reputation.

Chloe picked up a rag with her fingernails, holding it as far away from her face as possible.

“Utterly disgusting. Me, cleaning?” She dropped the rag onto the counter. “They didn’t even give me gloves.”

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The Night Visitor ( Credence Barebone x Reader)

Summary: Reader, an Auror employed by MACUSA, falls ill with flu. As she stays home and tries to manage the sickness on her own, she wakes up in the dead of night to find an unexpected visitor in her kitchen.

Pairing: Credence Barebone x Reader

Word Count: 5234 (what is brevity?)

Warnings: mentions of abuse, possibly angsty themes like loneliness (?) etc.

Comment: Comments/thoughts VERY WELCOME. I don’t know, this one doesn’t have much of a plot and it’s simply TOO long without much fluff, but I do have an idea for the sequel with much more Credence in it. Also, I apologise if you find the English weird. I’m not a native speaker and I often struggle to express myself correctly. 

You wobbled your way through the city to your apartment. People you were passing by on the streets were giving you weird looks. A young, pretty woman like you, stumbling across the street dead-drunk? Preposterous! Little they knew your state had nothing to do with alcohol intoxication.

Just when you noted that the crowds around you grew thicker, you realised you ran into one of the infamous Second Salemers’ rallies. Before you knew it, one of the kids that the crazy preacher-woman had distribute propaganda leaflets all across the city handed you a piece of paper. You looked up the rather tall figure - this was no child, was it?

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  • Bender: I bang so many hot chicks its unbelievable. Only robobabes though, and they gotta be a certain type of girl. No men, no humans, and ESPECIALLY no human men! That would be utterly disgusting. And don't even get me started on L-O-V-E. Don't even know the meaning of the word. I'm a manbot. Tough and secure. No need for such petty human feelings. It's always get screwed and get out when it comes to MY bed.
  • Fry: Hey Bender if I knock myself out with this crowbar, do you think I could hold my breath under water longer?
  • Bender: Wow he's perfect. He must be mine. I love him so much. A unique and beautiful object...

strifesodos week 2k17 - rain (prompt fill)

anyway uhhhhhh strifescloud machine broke and i have practically been living and sleeping at work these last few days but even though it is like……approaching midnight i managed to smash out a quick fill that was floating around in my head for my favourite boys to celebrate a Good Week before i go to sleep for real

i am also hoping to finally finish that oneshot i was doing for this week…pray 4 me my friends


Genesis gently eased open the door to the back porch, the wood creaking in protest as he stepped gingerly outside. The rain was coming down in thick sheets, drumming loudly as it impacted with the roof until it had forced Genesis to give up on his book in sheer irritation at the noise. Cloud was nowhere to be found within the house and Genesis had reluctantly chosen to search outside, though it was beyond him why anyone would willingly go out in this weather.

Sure enough, Cloud was out in the open, seemingly unbothered by the steady fall of rain as he leaned against the outer railing.

Foolish man, Genesis thought to himself fondly.

He quietly moved towards the edge of the mostly-dry porch, though he was sure Cloud knew he was there. There was little that escaped enhanced hearing, even beneath the sound of the rain, but something in the air made his steps almost reverent, as though the peaceful atmosphere of the day could be shattered by any sudden noise.

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TalesFromYourServer: Cutting company waste: A heroic tale of poop

She was in the bathroom for way too long, and we all knew it. When the door finally opened, the woman immediately exited the building. Straight out the door. Didn’t dare look any of us in the eye.

This is never good.

Nobody was in the restaurant anymore except for us three workers. One of them went in to clean the bathroom, because it’s 4:00 p.m. and I guess that’s what you do. She came out after about five seconds, yelling something with indignant disgust. Apparently the woman had left us… a present!

I FUCKING knew it.

I went in to look, because why not. I still cringe a little thinking about it as I write this, a decade later. Huge, huge, HUGE dump in the toilet. Easily the biggest I’ve ever seen, ever ever ever. It was disgusting, and it smelled like witchcraft, but that wasn’t even the prime issue. The toilet wouldn’t flush. This shit was now a permanent fixture of the [redacted name of taco restaurant].

Something had to be done, and soon. The bathrooms have to be cleaned, there’s other work to do, and a customer is eventually going to need this toilet. There is only one of each gender. None of the others wanted to even think about it long enough to formulate a plan, let alone go near it.

A home-schooled, immune-deficient eight-year-old child has more constitution than I do for these things, but my unfortunate condition of being born with a penis sometimes requires me to step up and take charge of a situation. And people say chivalry is dead.

Let me introduce myself: My name is Adam, and I suppose I have what you might refer to as “a weak stomach. I could never watch the surgery scenes in Nip/Tuck, and would have skipped them entirely if they didn’t always play such great music. I’ve had so many blood draws and plasma donations that I can feel internally when the needle is too far in my arm, even just off by a tiny bit… but I can NEVER watch, ever, under any circumstances. I have passed out at the sight of my own blood before. It was barely more than a papercut. The mere thought of maggots or lampreys makes my skin crawl for an hour. I’m so terrified of mold that I cannot even look at a picture of it without screaming — a fact that some friends, and my mother, delightfully take advantage of by occasionally posting random pictures on my Facebook. Thanks, mom.

But there’s something about being in a situation with a bunch of terrified women that awakens some primal-or-perhaps-primordial heroism inside of me. I’m also terrified of spiders, but when it’s my girlfriend that gets scared by one, the “bravery” section of my brain takes the “fear” section into an unofficial jail cell in the back of my head and holds it there indefinitely without a lawyer. Some ancient caveman warrior instinct in me awakens, and I go out to slay the beast threatening the tribe.

So I tried the obvious stuff first. Flushed the toilet a few times, but it wouldn’t budge. Of course. There wasn’t even that much toilet paper in the bowl; the log itself was just so long and huge that it wouldn’t flush down. At least half of the log was out of the water. It was that gigantic; the length of about half of my arm. It was pale brown, smooth, and had the consistency of thick peanut butter. It looked like something that science accidentally created in an evil laboratory, gone madly out of control with evil research grants. Evil.

So I tried a plunger, even though it makes the plunger get all gross, and I HATE that. Cleaning a plunger is always awkward and equally as disgusting as whatever you were using it for.

It didn’t help, and because of the way this demonic abomination was settled in with the toilet paper, I couldn’t even use the plunger to move it or really do anything at all that would bring me closer to anything resembling victory.

Nothing was working.

There was only one plan of attack left in my arsenal.

I had never done it or thought of it before, so it puzzles me as to why or how I thought of doing this.

I washed my hands thoroughly, and went back into the kitchen. I grabbed four latex gloves, a plastic knife, a plastic fork, a large garbage bag, and industrial grade cleaner with either ammonia, bleach, or formaldehyde in it.

I gloved up — two on each hand — and went back in. I sprayed the cleaner all over the toilet, so much so that all I smelled was my nostrils burning up and my olfactory senses blissfully committing suicide. If this piece of shit was going to kill me, I might as well get high from making the entire room a sterile environment.

I took the plastic fork, and I stabbed it.

I took the plastic knife, and I began to cut the poop. I cut a log of shit from an actual human butthole like a fucking Christmas sausage.

I cut it into several smaller pieces, and then over a series of a few flushes, managed to start getting the water to go down and gurgle. Several minutes of this, which, when you’re physically interacting with gigantic poops, feels like an eternity. Probably for my own psychiatric protection, I did not have a single thought about what I was doing at the time. My mind was perfectly blank. I was a surgeon. Scalpel.

With the help of the earlier-friended-yet-grossed-up plunger, I eventually got the shitsubmarine to begin the journey to its rightful home on the far seas.

Threw the knife, fork, and both gloves in the garbage bag, and immediately went outside to throw the whole thing in the dumpster, being sure not to touch anything with my hands before I was able to scrub them as if I had just… well actually I HAD just cut a piece of human poop in half.

Immediately after the crisis was over, reality set in. I realized what had just happened, and what I had done. With my own two hands. I cannot live with this memory. I ran outside around to the back of the building and threw up. Kind of a lot. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to maintain an erection ever again. I thought my very soul might have pinkeye. Yea, I say unto thee, it was so gross.

By: SixHourBoner

Being Captain Boomerang’s daugther would include:

Originally posted by gaybuckybarnes

Requested by Anon.

Request:  Can you do what being captain boomerangs daughter would be like? Like a HC? Idk but ya

A/N: I included the Squad a little bit because we all know that some of them are totally into having their own sweet little kids. 


  • Him being always super careful with you.
    • Digger holding you as if you could break any second. 
  • Him almost crying when you don’t want to stop crying.
    • Him at least starting crying once a month because you’re a scream Queen
  • Him making baby noises and funny faces while feeding you.
  • Digger letting you play with his boomerangs and Pinky.
  • Your first word being ‘Boomerang’
  • Him teaching you how to walk.
  • Digger being the dad who films everything you do. 
    • Showing all the cute videos the squad. 
    • Harley cooing.
    • Deadshot and El Diablo giving him dad-tips.
    • Deadshot being your baby sitter. 
    • Harley buying you flashy baby clothes.
    • Too many pictures and videos with the squad.


  • Knowing all the swear words. 
    • Him trying to convince everyone that it’s not his fault.
  • Having your own boomerangs. 
  • Digger teaching you how to throw them, and how to defend yourself.
  • Pinky sleeping in your bed.
  • Him being very patience with you. 
    • Digger actually throwing a fit with you when you’re behaving like a ‘brat’.
  • Cuddling. 
    • You both being cuddler.
  • Digger learning how to braid your hair because he wants to make you happy.
  • Him letting you play with his hair/beard. 
  • You using make up on your dad.


  • Him being very protective. 
  • Him hating too revealing clothes.
  • Him hating all your boyfriends/girlfriends.
    • Not because of the “They are not good enough for my little baby” but because they are not aussies.
  • Him giving you ‘The Talk’ when you ask if you could go buy some bras.
    • It’s awkward so he calls for Harley’s help. 
  • Him being unable to cope with you getting your period for the first time. 
    • Calling Harley and Katana for help.
    • Him googling what to do and buying everything a girl needs during her period - including Tampons and pads (all sizes), sweets, tissues, a hot-water-bag and a few movies.
    • Him trying to be calm and cool with it even thought he doesn’t want you to grow up so fast.
  • Him teaching you how to fight with boomerangs. 
    • You sneaking out to help the squad during a dangerous mission.
    • Digger grounding you for 3 whole months even though you saved their asses.
  • Him getting angry when you start drinking and smoking and doing drugs.
    • Even though he’s pissed he never yells at you but tries to explain everything because you’re like best friends.
    • Him being disgusted that you don’t like the same beer as him.
  • Digger and the squad comming lowkey to your prom and graduation.
    • Harley and Katana heling you with all the make up, hair and so on.

Grown up:

  • Him behaving like you’re still in your teen years.
  • Digger being proud of you if you marry an aussie. 
  • Him being very proud of you when you kick asses. 
    • Especially when strangers try to hit on you or touch you.

anonymous asked:

like i respect american laws, u guys have different mentality, different laws that depend on your country's history etc etc, but when someone decided to tell me, a russian woman, that our laws for age of consent are morally wrong & pedophilic, i, a russian woman who has been banging since i turned 16 years old , got pretty fucking defensive about it. like? yurka is russian so he is ours & u bet ur ass he will not stand for this bullshit господи прости как заебало-то

Bless this ask like do antis realize exactly how prejudice they are when they blatantly disrespect another culture’s norms like that.

Someone tried to tell me that my Nana was a whore because she had two kids before she was 18 even though it was more than legal for Chaldeans to marry and have children when someone is 14 in Iraq in the 1970s.

My friends had to literally catch me and drag me to a bathroom to pour cold water over my neck to stop me from killing the guy.

It’s actually disgusting how disrespectful some Americans are with other cultures and I apologize on behalf of them. They’re fucking idiots.


Today, I got my TABINOF. Best day ever.

We got to know each other, even though he was really shy.

Then I learnt that he LOVES to draw, so why not a drawing competition?! I hate to admit, he won; even tho my drawing was prize-worthy.

So I challenged him in chess, in which I am, not to brag, really good, but DAMN.

Then it was about time to show him his masters. He liked their hair. Who the heck doesn’t?!

But then he spotted my MCR wallpaper, which he cried over…

… And over 20 mins of existential crisis.

After that, some fun online. (And yes that is my Pinterest account #spoon)

And some fangirling. A lot of fangirling.

I suggested playing Dress Up. He wasn’t amused.

Not at all.


Everything was going really well!

He was kinda disgusted by my diary, tho…  

We played catch, even though he was horrible at it. And he dreams to be a basketball pro…

After that, we got classy with a glass of white wine (water in my case)…

… And more reading.

After that, it was bedtime. It was a really fun day, and I look forward to it again. For now the story ends.


I’m Gonna Stay Right Here - Warren Worthington III x Reader Imagine

I’m Gonna Stay Right Here - Warren Worthington III x Reader Imagine

Word Count: 451

Warnings: None

Originally posted by xmendaily

Warren was walked into the lobby of the x-mansion where all the other x-men were sitting around playing games and eating food. “Hey, has anyone seen (y/n)?”

“She is in her room. She said she wasn’t feeling good.” Jubilee replied. “You should probably go check on her.”

Warren quickly made his way to his girlfriends room and knocked on the door. “Hey (y/n), you in here?” Warren heard you cough and your small yell saying go away. He opened the door and saw hundred of balled up used tissues all around on the ground and a bunch of medicine bottles on the table next to the bed you were laying on balled up.

“Ugh. Warren, please go aw-“ You tried to finish you sentence but ended up sneezing.

“Aw (y/n), are you sick?” Warren smiled. Even though you nose was red and your eyes were watery, he still thought you were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

“Yes and I think I’m dying.” You blew your nose and threw it. Warren came around the bed and put his hand on your head. “Geez baby, you’re burning.”

“I told you I was dying, ugh!” You tried to sit up. “Oh no, no, no. Why is the mansion so freaking cold? Did Kurt put the temperature down again?” You went back under the sheet.

“No, he didn’t. It’s actually pretty warm. Everyone is in shorts and a tank. Here take these.” Warren gave you some pills and water and you slowly swallowed them down and made a face at the disgusting taste and Warren laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“Even though you’re sick, you still find a way to be the most adorable person ever.”

Warren go in the bed next to you. “Oh uh-huh. I will not make you sick. Get out.”

“I don’t care. I gotta take care of my girl and get her back on her feet feeling better.” He pulled you close. “Damn, your freezing.”

“Told ya.” You said covering your mouth as you coughed.

Warren sat back and pulled you on top of him so you were completely laying on top of his chest and he wrapped his arms around you, softly rubbing your back up and down. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and tried your hardest to breathe in his scent through your stuffed nose. You relaxed as Warren brought his wings around your body warming you up.

Warren kissed the top of your head and said, “I’m gonna stay right here and take care of you.”

You smiled as you felt yourself falling asleep as Warren rocked you slowly and hummed your favorite song. 

This is my first Warren imagine. I hope y’all liked it because I seriously love Warren!!

Newt Scamander x Reader- Taking Care of You When You're Sick/Not Feeling Well Headcanons

Newt taking care of you Headcanons

-you insisting that you were fine when in reality it felt like your insides were revolting against you

-You trying to help Newt prepare food for the creatures, but you begin to feel light headed

-Newt catching you in panic as you tart to fall to the floor, him mumbling “Love are you okay? Love! Love can you hear me!?”

-Newt carrying you upstairs on his back so you wouldn’t get tired.

-him putting you in bed, kissing your forehead, and putting a damp cloth on you

-him making sure you ate and drank water, because he knew sometimes you didn’t

-Newt trying to get you to take your medicine, even though you say it’s disgusting

-“Y/n please it will make you better love, I’ll promise you a kiss if you do it”

-“then you’ll get sick Newt.”

-“Shh that doesn’t matter love.”

-Newt getting you anything you needed, and you jokingly saying impossible requests, but then having to stop newt from sprinting to throw on his coat to go get it

-you getting extremely desperate for cuddles

-Him getting his creatures to cuddle and snuggle with you

-him then getting jealous that the creatures get to have all the snuggling

-Newt deciding to crawl into bed next to you despite your protests

-“I’ll get you sick”

-“I don’t care y/n you need cuddles”

-when you have a headache, he kisses your head to make you better

-Newt cooking, or at least trying to

-Newt then going to get baked
goods from Jacob since he almost burnt the house down

-“I didn’t know what you wanted so I got almost all of it, oh and Queenie and Jacob say to get well”

-cuddling as he tells you stories and sings to get you to sleep

-rubbing your tummy if you feel sick there, reassuring you that everything would be okay

-Newt referring to you as his
“Beautiful Darling” when you say you look gross

-“no darling you’re lovely”

-“Don’t worry darling, I’ll help you be better soon”

-You falling asleep wrapped in his arms protectively with the Niffler, Dougal, and Pickett across the two of you

-Newt catching your sickness a few days later, earning him an ‘I told you so’

-You doing everything you could for him just as he did for you because you loved your sick little cinnamon roll