Okay it’s been a whole day and I’m still angry about that hobbit casting thing, so let’s lay down some Tolkien canon here.
Fact 1: Per Tolkien, there were originally three races of hobbit. The Stoors were a small group, they were broad and stocky, they grew facial hair, they liked rivers, and their skin color is not specified, so Tolkien probably meant them to be white (but there’s no reason they have to be, since again, not specified). The Fallohides were a tiny group, they were thin, pale and tall, they were bold and good with languages, and they like trees. The Harfoots were the distinct majority, they lived in holes, they had hairy feet, and they were brown. Tolkien is super clear on this. He explicitly calls out Harfoots as having browner skin than other hobbits when describing the races and he uses phrases like “nut-brown skin” and “long brown fingers” when describing specific hobbits to back it up.
Fact 2: Britain planted its ravenous imperial flag firmly in the soil of India three centuries before Tolkien wrote The Hobbit. He knew what a brown person looked like. He would know he was not evoking a slightly darker shade of Caucasian when he said a person had brown skin.
Fact 3: Bilbo, Frodo, and all of their friends are aristocracy. Sam is the only hobbit we ever meet who is an actual laborer. In Tolkien’s time, laborers worked in the sun and middle class and aristocracy stayed inside where there was something resembling temperature control. Apart from Sam and Aragorn, no one in the Fellowship (or Company) ever voluntarily got a sunburn. If Tolkien talks about brown skin he’s talking about brown skin, not a farmer’s tan.
Where does this leave us?
Well, Tolkien says that after colonizing the Shire, the three hobbit races mingled more closely and became one. This leaves us with two options.
Option A: He’s talking about that thing that sci-fi writers sometimes do where “everyone is mixed race.” So all three races would have smeared together into a single uniform color. What color? Mostly Harfoot, aka brown. The “strong strain of Fallohide” in the Tookish and Brandybuck lines means maybe they’re white-passing, but in this scenario all hobbits are brown.
Option B: He’s talking about a more melting-pot scenario where visual racial distinctions still exist but everyone lives side-by-side in a fairly uniform culure. The Tooks/Brandybucks having a “strong strain of Fallohide” means that they are themselves remaining strains of Fallohide, and are straight-up white. Merry, half Took and half Brandybuck, is thus white (possibly part Stoor, given Brandybuck comfort with water); Pippin, half Took and half Banks, is either white or biracial. The Baggins family, sensible owners of the oldest and most venerable hobbit-hole anyone knows of, are blatantly Harfoot, making Bilbo and Frodo (half Took and half Brandybuck respectively) also biracial. Fallohides being exclusively adventurous high-class types, and the Gamgees being staid low-class homebodies with a distrust of moving water, Sam is obviously Harfoot and thus completely brown. (Smeagol, a Stoor, is probably white, but as discussed above, doesn’t have to be.) In this scenario, a minimum of three of five heroic hobbits are various shades of brown, four out of five of them could be, and most background hobbits are brown.
In conclusion, if you think all hobbits are white, you are canonically wrong. If you geek out over Aragorn wearing the Ring of Barahir, rage about Faramir trying to take the Ring, and do not even notice, much less complain, that Sam, Bilbo and Frodo are being erroneously portrayed by white guys, you need to reexamine the focus of your nerdery.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m loving Kane’s ever expanding brood of problematic children, but I’m also TOTALLY here for Abby adopting Murphy as her Trash Son alongside her existing Precious Cinnamon Roll Son Jackson
story time: so as a kid my bff and I were absolutely obsessed with her ouija board. honestly like we were already the weird kids who could spout mythology and urban myths on cue and stuff (which isn’t very weird, I know, but for our very small whitebread town it was) and she dug this old 80s glow-in-the-dark ouija board out of her basement one day and for like a month that is all we did
I know for a fact we annoyed the bajeebus out of her parents with it since we would set up and just ask all these dead people really boring questions because hey, we were like twelve, and didn’t really put much thought into it
highlights include (but are not limited to): getting Merlin pissed off at us, having two different gods tell us blatantly contradicting prophecies, annoying several dead relatives by temporarily bedazzling our planchette, and completely misreading everything the devil told us because it was the ass crack of dawn and we refused to turn a light on because the ouija board glows in the dark!!
moral of the story is that being dead, a god, and/or the devil will not save you from the horror that is two preteen girls
so i was like “guys, i finally did it. i mean, i love you all, but i picked a bias,” and they all just gathered around and was looking at me like “ok bitch so who is it?”:
“well, damn. okay then. it’s hoshi.“ i look over and see him all happy and shit but the others look pissed tbh:
i try to explain that i needed a bias because 13 was just too much even though i still had love for all of them, but they weren’t having it at all.:
so jun was like “okay girl, you got it. i mean you was saying that i did the best body rolls, but it’s cool. i wish y’all the best.”:
then the8 was like “oh, true? damn, that’s wild. i remember you saying something different, but imma let you rock.”:
dino don’t even say nothing. he just look at me like, ‘i’m not finna put you out on front street but you know what you said.’:
mingyu just like “i mean i guess if you like short guys. you told me tall was your type, but you do you.”
s. coups look kinda confused, but he’s clearly still upset. “so it was all a lie, then?” i try to comfort him and he just like “nah, nah. ion fuck with liars.”
wonwoo just looking at me like he hope my first born dies and i get the clap or something.:
vernon looks disappointed but deep down he saw this coming because he knew i don’t fw guys that young. he low key feel bad that dino ain’t know.:
woozi checked out of the conversation as soon as he heard mingyu say something about tall guys. and joshua just judging me mad hard bc he remembered me sliding in his dms not too long ago.
seungkwan is offended af but he try to laugh it off and crack jokes. “ByE gUrL! are you kidding?!”:
dk look like he trying not to cry and it makes me feel some type of way because i never meant to hurt him.:
i finally look at jeonghan and this mf is tying up his hair. he’s heard enough of the lies and he’s ready to fight. if he wasn’t already mad because of me, now he’s mad bc he got a stingy ass pony tail since they cut his hair.:
so before i can even react, he the first one to start throwing punches. then the others join in and these mfs jump me.:
i call out to hoshi for help, but he’s mad bc he ain’t know i was spitting game to the other members. so he just sitting there like:
so, seventeen beat my ass and then wrote a song about it. you may have heard the tune. the original title was “cheatin’ ass hoe”, but pledis wouldn’t let them release it without a different name, so now it’s called “don’t wanna cry”. to this day, my bias list and my wig are still fucked up.