even though i don't have school tomorrow

anonymous asked:

My ex-boyfriend (who broke up with me) is mad because I don't want to be friends, My best friend bailed on me even tho I haven't seen him in 2 months, I failed a chem test, an ASL test and an English Socratic Seminar today and I have to go to school tomorrow. It's been a hectic day. If you have the time (and energy def don't feel pressured!!) I'd love a hurt/comfort Stucky or Stony fic please (or Bucky/Steve/Tony)

that is a huge pile of shitty anon, i’m sorry!

“All right, Iron Man, back in the air,” Steve calls and Tony does a silly salute even though he doesn’t think Steve can see him from where he is.

“Upsie daisy,” he calls in return. He’s barely lifted off when something hits him in the right thigh with a loud crunch. Pain spikes all the way down to his toes and up into his hip. The shock knocks him off kilter. He cries out, but it’s more out of shock than anything.

“Tony?!” he hears someone yell, but the view on the HUD is spinning and that’s more important than whoever’s yelling at him.

“Sir, you’ve taken a hit—”

No shit!” Tony yells back breathlessly.

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Overheard around campus 2
  • "Yeah, I'm like 'Ba-ha-ha' high..."
  • ***
  • Girl 1: "I wish there was a real-life 'chill pill'. That way you can just take it and chill."
  • Girl 2: "I think that's called pot."
  • ***
  • In Microbiology building: "I would rather drink my own urine than eat a placenta, without question."
  • ***
  • In General Biology lab: "I am a kick-butt predator!"
  • ***
  • "I always use sound logic when having dildo-related arguments."
  • ***
  • "Sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out like nothing happened."
  • ***
  • Professor: "You've got to know how to play on people's guilt."
  • ***
  • "The watermelon is a selfish lover!"
  • ***
  • Professor: "Venus. So it's hot... smells like sulfur... high pressure... gaseous... what does it remind you of?"
  • Student: "Detroit!"
  • ***
  • "I want to have a tea party. Crumpets, though, not conservatives."
  • ***
  • Professor: "I hope you weren't drinking on a Monday night. Not until grad school, at least."
  • ***
  • Guy 1: "So you actually looked up what constitutes statutory rape? That's kind of creepy."
  • Guy 2: "Well me and my sister got bored one night and we looked it up."
  • Guy 1: "The fact that you did it with your sister is even creepier."
  • ***
  • "I don't buy groceries, I buy alcohol."
  • ***
  • "Using Internet Explorer when going to a website you've never been to is like having unprotected sex with a stranger."
  • ***
  • Guy 1: "What?! It says tomorrow's high is supposed to be -4 degrees!"
  • Guy 2: "Um, dude -- you're in metric."
  • ***
  • "Sex in the bathroom is unsanitary. I hope they had their shoes on."
  • ***
  • Physics TA: "Does anyone know what Benjamin Franklin's greatest sin was?"
  • Student: "Porn?"
  • ***
  • "Well, I can try to get an exponential boner if you want."
  • ***
  • Multivariable Calculus professor: "I had a classmate who got killed by the old street cars from St Paul in Mexico City. He wasn't a nice guy."
  • ***
  • "SpongeBob is the good kind of creepy. I would love for SpongeBob to call me at 3 am."
  • ***
  • "I don't know his name, so I just call him Aladdin."
me writing essays; a summary

INTRODUCTION: “PLEASE I HAVE A WIFE AND THREE KIDS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE ALL FICTIONAL BUT THEY ARE STILL VALID”


PARAGRAPH 2: “WE NEED A GOOD JOB TO SUPPORT OUR PET BIRB”


PARAGRAPH 3: “SHE CAN’T SPEAK BUT SINGS LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW”


PARAGRAPH 4: “PLEASE”


PARAGRAPH 5: “WE NEED YOUR HELP”


CLOSING: “THE TITANIC IS SINKING”

so

anonymous asked:

Oh my gosh it's midnight and what am I doing not sleeping even though I have school tomorrow no I'm just refreshing your blog because I don't want to be alone with my feelings

we are on the same time zone and i have school tomorrow. Im going to bed.

You should too.