even though he'll probably kill me for this

anonymous asked:

H/C that Tsuna doesn't even respond to people trying to kill him anymore he just goes about his business. And the assassins are so confused?? Like we're trying to kill you?? and Tsuna's just "look you weren't the first ones to try this and by know it's lost the impact". But sometimes he'll be like "Yeah so, its my brothers birthday and i prefer if you not ruin it? like you can stay for the cake and stuff and try to kill me tomorrow though"-Kes

XDD Headcanon accepted. Funny enough, sometimes the assassins do accept the offer to stay for whoever’s birthday party it is, and no one even questions it anymore. If Tsuna isn’t kicking up a fuss, then he knows who they are and he’s accepted it so things will probably work out fine.

Everyone treats the guest with such hospitality that by the time tomorrow comes around and Tsuna’s like “okay, you can try to kill me now” the assassin’s just like fidgety and looking at him shyly and is like “If I promise not to kill you, will you let me stay forever?”

Tsuna huffs and rolls his eyes because this happens every time, but he accepts them with an exasperated smile (and later he quietly sends his own assassin to make a deal with his new famiglia member’s previous boss and make sure they know he’s with the Vongola now and that if they ever try to do anything to him they’ll regret it for the rest of their lives because Tsuna looks after his own, even if they had maybe tried to kill him once upon a time…most of his famiglia members had by this point).

Eventually, other famiglias just stop sending hitmen after Tsuna in the first place, because Tsuna always performs some kinda fucking sorcery and they end up becoming his loyal lapdogs. Tsuna acquires a lot of powerful hitmen this way, and people are just like okay you know what we don’t need the Vongola to have any more talented assassins lets just stop sending them to him.

Red Dragon, from Lecter's point of view
  • LECTER: Will Graham caught me.
  • LECTER: Will Graham caught me.
  • LECTER: He's like the goody-goody version of me!
  • LECTER: With a dark side
  • LECTER: So clever, so tragic
  • LECTER: I am so bored in this cell
  • LECTER: He'll probably understand why I almost killed him, right?
  • LECTER: We should be buddies
  • LECTER: Friends forgive friends. Yes.
  • LECTER: Maybe we'll even kill people together
  • LECTER: I'm going to send him a Christmas card
  • WILL: No.
  • LECTER: We're just alike!
  • WILL: Goodbye, Doctor Lecter
  • LECTER: Fine, if he doesn't want to play with me I'm just going to have to almost get him killed
  • LECTER: Oh, he didn't die. He'll probs still be my buddy, though. My clever, tragic buddy. Totes.
  • WILL: nonononono
  • LECTER: He should really understand that he brought it upon himself.
  • LECTER: I hope your face isn't too ugly, Will
  • WILL: adjglhalghrilahglahgilahglhealghali
  • LECTER: Nailed it