even my mom knows what shipping is

My Mother is Amazing
  • -I just showed her Moana tonight. After the movie: -
  • Mom: I like that Disney's been doing strong female leads with Brave and Moana.
  • Me: Anna and Elsa were a strong female leads. Elsa didn't even have a love interest.
  • Mom: Well, we all know Elsa is a lesbian.
  • Me: (laughing) What made you come to that conclusion?
  • Mom: The evidence is all there. She doesn't seem very attracted to men.
  • Me: I mean, yeah. But she has maybe three interactions with guys in the entire film.
  • Mom: She just doesn't seem that attracted to them. . .
  • -a beat passes-
  • Mom: Maybe all this shipping you're doing has gotten to my head.
angel au

this contains a mess of ships ok

For whatever reason, imagining an AU where Ethan is a fallen angel really makes me happy? Like Ethan waking up cast down from the sky and he has no idea how to live on Earth, but he bumps into Mark n Amy n Ty n Kat and he ends up just following them around and asking questions about everything?

Ethan with fluffy wings and eyes that glow white when he’s angry? Speaking of wings, Ethan hiding behind his wings when he’s embarrassed or using them to flutter up when Tyler calls him short? Plus everyone automatically finds him beautiful at first sight and Mark has used the “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Line several times because he finds it funny

Angelic Eth not being able to lie? Ever? Which leads to him confessing a lot of things he doesn’t want to, like how he ate the last of the waffles and he doesn’t actually think that hat looks good on Mark and also he’s in love with like everyone on the team, etc.

Plus since it’s really common in mythology for angels to have healing powers? Eth lying in bed with Ty and asking about his kidney, Ty tells him and E just gets really sad and curls up against Ty’s chest? And Ethan is like “you’re okay now” and Tyler doesn’t know what that means but his health has completely improved at his next doctor’s appointment

Or if the first time Eth heals someone is when the rest of the team is super sick and struggling to make videos, Ethan goes to snuggle with them since they’re all sitting in a miserable sick circle on the floor, editing videos. Everyone is immediately like “dude no! We’re gonna get you sick” but Ethan just does it anyways because he’s a cuddle monster and heals them in the process

Bonus if Mark still has red hair when Ethan falls and Eth sees it and get super excited because he wants his hair to look like that! So after a few weeks he finally convinces Mark to take him to the hairstylist but he catches a glimpse of a girl with blue hair and changes his mind? So he comes out of the salon with bright blue hair and angel wings puffed out in happiness, Mark tells him he looks like he’s going to a costume party.

I don’t know why this is specific to this AU but Amy and Kathryn exchanging Eskimo kisses with Ethan? Because they love their blue boy

Plus any time they see a bird in public someone will point to it and say “Look Ethan your mom came back for you”

Everyone’s on twitter. Idjit.

Pairing : Past!JaredxReader, Jensen
Word count : 1,710
Author :Mel
A/N : More parts for @bigdaddymongoose.

Part 13 of ‘My son, Bringer of Storms.’



The first few days of Jared not seeing you at work, he accepted that. He didn’t expect you to to be around him much for a while after what had happened. When it started to hit a week of him not seeing you at work, or anywhere else, he started to wonder. “Jen?”

“Yeah?” Jensen turned from the screen he was re-watching the last scene they shot on.

“Have you seen Y/N?”

Jensen thought for a second. “No, haven’t heard from her since River’s birthday. Why? You haven’t either?”

Jared shook his head. “Not since…”

“Since Gen took you back?” Jared nodded. Jensen knew everything that happened. “I’m sure she’s around. Probably just keeping some distance for a bit. Give her time.”

“Yeah..” Jared nodded. “Yeah, maybe we just need time..” He scanned the area hoping to get a glimpse of you hurrying off somewhere at least.

Keep reading

adopted / fostered kid sentence starters

bc there deserves to be a meme out there for more than just biological families

- parent to other parent
❛ How do you feel about adopting? ❜
❛ How do you feel about fostering? ❜
❛ God I hope they like blue, I spent too long painting that room. ❜
❛ She/he called me “mom/dad” today. ❜
❛ If your mother asks us again if we “really” want to go through with this, I’m taking our children and moving to Alaska. ❜
❛ You had a whole two years to learn their language, what do you mean you’re not fluent yet? ❜
❛ I’m just sick and tired of waiting for the papers to come through so we can adopt our kid already. ❜
❛ Do you want to adopt him/her. ❜
❛ He/she’s our baby, no matter what anyone else says. ❜

- parent to kid
❛ If you want to learn more about them, it’s okay. ❜
❛ Don’t talk back to me young man/lady, I’ve still got your receipt. ❜
❛ You’re our baby, now and forever. ❜
❛ Families come in all shapes and sizes, and you’re part of ours. ❜
❛ You’re safe here, you know that, right? ❜
❛ If you don’t do the dishes, I’m shipping you back first class, buddy. ❜
❛ If I’m not your real parent…and you’re not my kid…then who’s flying the plane? ❜

- kid to parent
❛ Who are my birth parents? ❜
❛ You’re not even my real mom/dad! .❜
❛ Can we visit where I’m from? ❜
❛ Why do I look different than you? ❜
❛ Are you gonna get rid of me because I made you mad? ❜
❛ If you keep embarrassing me, I’m gonna say that I don’t know you guys. ❜
❛ Thanks for adopting me / taking me in, this will look great on college applications. ❜
❛ I’m glad you’re honest and told me I was adopted, but you don’t have to tell me every day! ❜
❛ Please stop with the receipt jokes. ❜

Hawaii Five-0 : McDanno


I feel like the writers of this show basically want McDanno to happen but can’t really make it canon so they just give us content where there’s no doubt that these two are together.

I mean, c’mon. The constantly missing girlfriends even though most shows force hetero pairing down our throats when we start to ship same sex couples to exert their heterosexuality.Or the fact that in an episode where it was suppose to be a Valentine’s Day outing,the boys spend more time together than with their girlfriends and in the scenes where they were with their gf’s, there was basically no chemistry at all between them.Or the scenes where almost everyone jokes about them being married or assume they are a couple just like that.Not to mention the super fluffy domestic scenes between Steve and Danny be it with just the 2 of them or with Grace and/or Charlie.

Oh,let’s not forget the fact that Steve not only got pissed and offended when Danny didn’t talk to him and include him in his retirement plan but keeps pushing the idea of them retiring together.Because he can’t imagine NOT being with Danny at all.

When I watched a couple of episodes in the living room one day, my mom kept asking me if they were gay (especially after their ‘I love you’s’),that she didn’t realize they were making  gay cop shows,they don’t seems ‘gay’ despite being a couple (which led to discussions about stereotypes),laughed at their cargument scenes,said she too would donate her organ fr her husband out of love (the relationship kind and not the buddy kind) and when I told her that they’re not,in fact together or gay and were just friends she was like ‘what?but how?they seem like a couple to me!’.

This was coming from my homophobic mom ok? Even she could see it.

So yeah.Totally just bros.Much straight.Very hetero.

anonymous asked:

OT5/Jinki? Please?! 💕

shinee ships shinee ships
pairing: ot5+
genre: humor, crack, band au
rating: pg-13 (droppin’ f bombs)
word count: 1340
summary: shinee’s a little drunk & jonghyun wants to know what’s minho’s favorite ship
a/n: so this is the ot5/jinki i was talking about threeish weeks ago.  since then they’ve literally gotten drunk & hung out as a group so basically i made that happen with my little wip.  you’re welcome.
special thanks to @bpash89​ for trying to help me make this better & wholly succeeding with her suggestion for jinki to give That Response.  #yes

the air is cool & a slight breeze blows against the flames of their campfire where they sit on logs set up up in a ‘u’ shape.  it’s only been an hour but taemin’s already screamed three times, mistaking bits of ash for bugs, his body folded in half with his bottle in one hand & the other on jinki’s arm, head on his shoulder. jonghyun sits next to jinki on a log shared with kibum & minho has his own perch directly across from taemin.

the group began drinking long before they sat down, a day at the beach spent in the sun, sand, & surf culminating with everyone a little drunk around a roaring fire.  jonghyun is the most plastered & jinki the least, everyone else falling somewhere in-between.

“truth or dare.”  jonghyun’s the one who asks, his words a little slurred & his eyes blinking sleepily.  taemin snorts & jinki rolls his eyes, kibum ignores the group & minho sits up a little straighter.

“truth.”

“what’s your favorite ship?”

“ship?”

“pairing.  fandom pairing.  us.” jonghyun gestures at the others with a finger pointed to the sky, looping around three times before it falls limply against his thigh.

minho takes a sip from his log, the one closest to the campfire. the stick in his hand, meant for stoking the flames, pushes against the dirt as he thinks.

“i like all my ships.  i love all of you.  i love shinee.”

Keep reading

I tried to explain what shipping is to my mom today for the third time and at last I was like, “You know all those pictures I draw? Of Lance and Pidge? I draw them together bc i see their friendship and I think it’s cute and i think it’d be even MORE cute if they LIKED EACH OTHER” and she’s like “…okay I think I get it.”

And then she was like, “What show are Lance and Pidge from again? Legend of Zelda?”

Holy ship guys. The apartment complex down the street from mine is on fire. And it is spreading.

My mom is on the way to pick up Eda. But she won’t be able to take Avarice. I get off work in half an hour.

I could super use all kinds of good thoughts and prayers and whatnot.

If we have to leave, I don’t know what I’ll do with Avarice. I can’t carry his tank and he doesn’t have a spare enclosure anymore.

my mom vs. cockles jib panel

So, today I was forcing my mom to watch at least one Supernatural panel because she watches the show but barely knows something about actors’ lives or about anything outside the camera shot. Long story short, after a long, loud conversation I won and let her choose the panel. I wasn’t looking at her, so I, obviously, couldn’t see which one she chose. And when she turned the video on, I heard the beginning of the Cockles panel and started screaming inside. And then my mom goes, “Are they married?” Try to imagine what I looked like: wide opened eyes, jaw’s laying somewhere on the floor, I’m standing perfectly still and trying to find an anwer to this very difficult question while my mouth slowly goes Oh yeaaah… but my brain understands I can’t say that, so I immediately scream out No! and my mom says, “I always knew they were a couple.” And now I have no idea what to do, because my mom’s into it, not even thinking they could be not married. I fully respect actors’ personal lives, their beautiful wives, and amazing children; I know that my ship is only a thing in my head and that I might be imagining it. But my mom is fucking into it and I have no fucking idea what to do.

i hate anti shalad¡ns so much at this point i cant even be nice about it anymore. no one here fucking ships a baby with a 25 yr old, y'all. No one ships a 15 year old with a 25 yr old. No one ships any minors with a 25 yr old at all. no one saw shiro and keith on the screen and thought anything gross like “look. an adult and a minor. i’m gonna purposely ship those two bc that’s cool.”

i didn’t even consider the ages when i first watched the show. i just assumed they were all around the same age as me, so 18-19.

anyways i’m not gonna fight about that since it’s not the point of this post, but y'all cant even open yr minds half an inch. i thought the anti jayt¡ms and anti rey|os were annoying and ik sometimes it’s the same ppl but honestly. no one’s ever gonna beat the anti sha|adins at being the biggest assholes on this site. how can anyone know anything about what anti shaladins do and then think “yeah. i’m gonna put anti shalad¡n in my descrip”

also like? y'all ditching friends over them liking a shiro ship is honestly the shallowest thing ever lol. like if your mom asked u why you stopped being friends w someone would you really tell her “yeah they’re a p*dophile bc of their fictional ship between shiro and one of the paladins”

anonymous asked:

My mom is not only an incest survivor but also survived that family member giving her to a cult. She knows I ship Wincest, I was very open about that when she started watching the show. She is fine and even ships it what makes her sad to hear is people using what she and others have gone through as away to bully and harass those who enjoy it. She can't understand why people don't avoid, surviving doesn't give the right to bully.

A gentle hug for your Mom.  ♥

Because the special snowflakes on tumblr think they run the place and think they can tell everybody what they can and cannot post. It truly sucks to be them. 

Much love to you and your Mom. ♥

that song about  piña coladas.

So hopefully this will turn into a series but i still love the Guardians Of The Galaxy soundtrack and really want to write stories with the songs.  First one uploaded but not part one in the series.

Let me know what you think xxx

Peter Quill/Reader

Warning: language and sexual references 

Hello, daddy. Hello, mom. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!

Why the fuck was the music so loud! It boomed through the ship and straight into my skull. My head squeezed tighter and tighter, the throbbing pain increasing with each vibrating base of the drum and pluck of the bass guitar.  Even though the door was closed and I was one floor above the common area, I could hear it crystal clear as though it were right next to me.

By the second chorus, I gave up. He knew I would be hungover from last night but it didn’t stop him from being a dick and paying me back for last time I woke him up. An elaborate set up that cost me a lot more that it should of.

Pulling on my boots, I made my way down ship, making sure he could hear each step I was taking. I didn’t bother to put more clothes on, the rest of the team were out, and a t shirt and underwear seemed decent. Once successfully off the ladder and in the main control room, I saw him standing, still shirtless and in leather pants from last night. Stood in front of some shelves tapping and dancing along to the song. He must of been working on something that was really complicated because he wasn’t answering and only responded when I turned the music down

“Hey that was the best part” Peter exclaimed, dropping what he was doing and reached over to put it back up.

For a moment he stopped at looked me up and down. His eyes stopping at the edge of his shirt before he smiled and looked back up. He flicked his fingers, somehow turning the volume up higher.

I whined, throwing my head back and yelling about how he was an inconsiderate asshole. He didn’t care, blaming me for drinking so much. He hadn’t gone back to what he was doing but chose to try to pinch me thinking it would get my mind of the headache.

It worked! 


He got the skin on the back of my thigh after I had tried to escape from his grip.

Holy fuck that hurt!

“Quill! That hurt so much!” I whined, gripping my leg and trying not to cry. .

“Thats what she said” he quipped, jumping out of the way of a slap.

Cherrybomb hit it’s final notes before changing to Esacpe (the piña colada song). Lifting my head, I watched as Peter reached out to me trying to get me to dance with him. Every time this song came on he felt it necessary to dance and sing like we were drunk college graduates on vacation in Hawaii.

I shook my head, still holding my thigh, rubbing the now red skin.

“Come on baby you love this song” He grabbed onto my arms, pulling me up so i was standing with my chest against his. His hands were on mine, wrapping them around his waist.

We swayed from side to side with him singing quietly off key. Peter moved his hands to my hips, trying to get me to dance. Starting to hum the tune, i got a kiss on the nose.

“Thats its babygirl” He laughed, throwing his head back preparing to sing the next line

We both shouted the lyrics at the top of our lungs.
If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain

I felt his hands further down, cupping my bum.
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain

Peter pushed his hips forward, grinding into me to the words of the song. He has his bottom lip between his teeth and was smiling cheekily at me.
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape

Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape.

Peter leaned down pressing a kiss against my lips. He still tasted  of the alien alcohol we had drank last night and smelt like a mix of my perfume, his aftershave and sweat. He defiantly needed to shower soon.  Reaching my hands up from his waist to his cheeks, my fingers brushed against his stubble before moving to his hair.

“You did good baby” he spoke against my lips, biting down playfully.

He made a noise deep in his chest as I pulled on his hair, pushing up against him to keep up close back still dancing, well not so much dancing more so making out. He had his hands on my butt, squeezing as he swayed us to and fro to the beat of the classic hit. His barley there beard brushed against my neck as he moved to kiss wherever he wanted, and right now was just above my collarbone. I felt his lips move and heard mumbled words come from him.

“Hmmm?” It was a mix between a questioning noise and moan at his continuous sucking on my skin.  

Pulling away from my skin, Peter looked up at me, his hands now slipping under the band on my underwear and onto my bare skin.

“Can’t we just do it on the table” he pulled my crotch against his. “I mean, we’ve never done it there. First time for everything right?” It sounded more like he was trying to reason with himself rather than me.

“Ohh where haven’t you done it?” Rocket’s voice came from behind me.

Peter quickly removed his hands and pulled my shirt back down so I was covered up.  He spun me around so i was facing the Guardians as they all filed in.  

“I don’t know Rocket, go get a black light and we’ll find out” i shot back.

Rocket opened his mouth and pointed his finger at me but shut it and turned away to sit on one of the chairs"She’s perfect for you Quill, you know that right"

“Yeah i do” Peter kissed me lightly on his cheek. “And so does that chair”

Rocket shot up, wiping himself off. “Ohh for fucks sake Quill!”

Sit down ladies, gentlemen, agenders, non-binaries, etc

I have a story to tell you about my Voltron fandom experience. It’s not a lancelot one, no, it is a sheith one.

When I first entered the fandom I shipped klance immediately, mostly cause it was the first ship I saw before even watching the show. I later found out about sheith, which at the time was my notp.

I avoided sheith fanfics, but I adored shidge, though I don’t read shidge fics that much due to me once trying to read one and it instantly throwing the characters into gender roles.

One day, I tried to find content in the shidge tag on tumblr…you guys can probably guess what I found. Anti-ShiroxAnyone that isn’t Allura, I found that sheith took most of the hate.

I looked through the anti-sheith tag, anti-sheith blogs, and I was disgusted of how these people were acting. Pedophilia accusations, call-out posts, spamming tags.

I was aware of antis, since I’m from the Osomatsu-san fandom and I ship matsucest, and let me tell you that antis spammed those tags like crazy. But, I just didn’t expect to find them here.

I ship sheith now, I might not ship it as much as shidge or heith(i ship heith bc i read a heith fanfic once and i just like how the dynamic of their relationship would work) But, I don’t get that notp pang in my chest anymore and I reblog quite a considerate amount on my main blog now.

That’s right folks, I was powered by spite to the point that I now ship something that formerly I wanted nothing to do with. And, when I saw antis starting to turn on lancelot, I knew something needed to be done.

I took this url because of how many anti urls I had seen. I wanted to take it and give the fandom the positivity it deserved. So, I created a fic rec page on this blog too of the lancelot fics I like.

I thought about making a wall of shame page listing the trollfics, but…I didn’t want anyone to get harassed, specially since most antis are minors.

Basically, I wanted to create a safe space for lancelot shippers, and I’ve even been thinking about making a shaladin one. I want you all to know I’m on your side, because nobody deserves harassment based on shipping.

Like, what societal impact does it have? I’m so confused. Like, I know there is a child pornography claim the antis make, but like…the characters don’t look like children? And child predators are more likely to use actual child pornography to trick children.(not to mention most pedophiles need professional help or that most of them were molested or groomed as children which has led to their illness. Seriously, my mom worked in a mental hospital, every pedophile there had been molested as a child. It’s really sad.)

But, I digress. Sorry for that rant there. Anyways, I’m on your side.

Anti-lancelot, out

Peace

is it me or has jungkook been cheating on tae with jimin and yoongi has been cheating on jimin with hoseok and hoseok doesnt even fucking know what the fuck is going on and jimin has been cheating on both jungkook and yoongi with jin and jin is totally going with it and tae is going back to jhope fo’ lil bit and namjoon is just WATCHING ALL THIS

my family’s been in a bit of a tight situation regarding money since last year so i was kinda scared to pre-order the new yugioh movie and i was just hoping my mom wouldn’t get mad at me (even though she’s told me that the money i earn editing is my money and i have no obligation to give her anything) but i just told her about it and i told her i was also gonna order a book so i could get free shipping

and she was like, good for you, i know how excited you were about that movie!! you should definitely take advantage of the free shipping, ‘cause sometimes the shipping costs more than what you’re actually ordering. i’m so happy for you, sweetie!

and i was just like moooooom ;_____;

My Mom Has No Idea

Mom: I have lots of ships.

Me: I have more, you don’t even know. Like, me and Harry were talking about Altair earlier-

Mom: Who’s that?

Me: An AssCreed character. Malik got decapitated and his head was sent to Altair.

Mom: And you ship his head with Altair?

Me: No, most of the rest of him though.

Mom: What does that even mean? Like, you ship him except for his left arm?

Me: *Looks into the camera like in The Office*

anonymous asked:

I say we wear Blue, Red, And Black when the new Star Wars movie comes out. This year we steal 3 colors rather than one.

Also anon- “In fact you know what! Purple necklace made of ribbon or purple bracelet, black pants, Red and Blue Shirt and maybe a scarf of red or blue. Take all the colors from 🐜 Reylo”

I like the way you think anon. I wonder would antis rid colors we “stole” that be kinda funny.
“ mom!Dad! We need to burn anything that’s red,blue, black, and purple.”
“Why?”
“ cause those nasty reylos ruin the colors for me! I can’t even enjoy my favorite color now!”
“ is this about what you call it ‘ships’?”
“Kate relax its not real.”
“ IT IS REAL omg reylos are ruining my family too”

anonymous asked:

Could I get a ship with one of the guys from The 100? I have dyed red hair, hazel eyes, freckles, and two tattoos. I'm fairly shy, but I tend to do what I want whenever I want to. I'm sort of impulsive. I am very family orientated, very protective over my mom and brother because they're all I really have. Sometimes, I prefer to be alone with a book. Thank you! :)

I totally ship you with John Murphy!

Originally posted by hvproductions

You would start as FWB, and you would never expect to be more than this to him, but you would be very, very wrong.He would like every inch of you and would make sure you know it even if he dont say it with words. He would take care of you and would want to kill every guy who try to flirt wit you. He would admire your love to your family and would wish you feel the same way about him.

“You are my family now, John” And he wouldn’t answer because he alredy would be with his lips into yours.

And between us, he would love your tattoos.

Crack Theory

okay so as far as i know midoriya is blood type O and todoroki is type O too even though Endeavor is blood type AB and it’s practically impossible for his son to not be either type A or B or AB. midoriya looks just like his mom right and we have no clue what his dad looks like and the only thing we know about his dad is that he has FIRE breath. todoroki shouto and midoriya izuku are half brothers #confirmed