even my fingers are tired of typing

Just A Cover

Anonymous request for a reader who goes undercover as Morgan’s girlfriend, and Spencer gets jealous.

Derek Morgan wrapped his arm around my shoulders snugly and pulled me close. I adjusted my little black dress and smiled up at him.
“Baby girl, you know I love it when you wear that dress,” he purred and I laughed.
“Why do you think I wore it, handsome?” I asked, cringing internally at my own sappy tone of voice.
“Mmm,” Morgan hummed. He leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear. What he was saying was actually something related to the position of our target, but I giggled like it was a dirty little secret, slapping him playfully.
“Save it for later, hot chocolate,” I teased, and Morgan laughed. On the inside, we were both gagging a little bit, because Morgan is just a friend, but undercover, he was my sappy lover.
Not for long, though. We took the target down and he walked out in Derek’s handcuffs. I approached the real object of my affection, Spencer Reid, and ruffled his curls. He tensed under my touch and I appraised him with concern.
“Spencer, are you okay?” I asked.
“Fine,” he replied shortly, turning to walk away from me. I reached out to tug him back, but he shook me off and kept walking. I didn’t hesitate to follow him, jumping in front of him and forcing him to stop walking.
“Spencer, what is wrong with you?” I asked. “Talk to me. Please?”
“Fine,"he said. "Fine. My problem is you and Morgan!”
“What?” I asked. “What about us?”
“I don’t like watching him…handle you and act all possessive and…I don’t like that he gets to be the one to act like you’re his,” he exclaimed.
“Spencer, what are you trying to say? You know that was all a cover up.”
“Well, that’s why I’m so angry with myself for being jealous.”
“Jealous?” I repeated. “Oh.”
“Yeah, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now,” he sighed, as he sat down on the concrete steps. I smoothed my dress under me and sat next to him.
“Spencer?” I said after a moment. “Are you alright?”
“I’m just…” he took a shuddering breath and looked away. “I’m tired of Morgan always getting the girl. He doesn’t even try, and women fall at his feet, even when that woman happens to be one that I love.”
“I didn’t fall at his feet,” I said. “Spence, look at me.” He did, and I reached out to card my fingers through his hair.
“Morgan isn’t my type, and there’s no reason why you can’t get the girl. At least, not this girl,” I added shyly.
“You like me?” He asked. I nodded.
“Always have. No need to be jealous over Morgan when it’s your feet I’m falling at.”
“I…never knew,” he said.
“Well…now you do.”
“Will you…go out with me?” He asked tentatively. I smiled and reached out to hug him.
“I’m yours,” I whispered, and I felt him smile into me, feeling like a very lucky girl, indeed.

Reunion Coffees~Sebcam

Cameron sent a message to Sebastian, the moment his plane landed. It didn’t take many hours for his mom and him to return to his house, where Lisa was waiting for them. His mom didn’t stop talking about meeting Sebastian, even if it wasn’t something official. They didn’t even get to unpack anything and his fingers were already typing on a new message to Sebastian. “I’m going to coffee-want to come? If you are in New York…”, he blinked, sending that. “Because I’m tired and I can’t stand my sis and mom for much longer”, he sent again. “I’ll be at that coffee shop close to my house”, he sent yet another message. He slipped away from his family, after he changed his clothes and headed to the coffee shop, he told Sebastian to come. It hit him really hard that Sebastian may not even come-maybe he wouldn’t. He frowned, as he sat down and looked out of the window, as people kept passing by.

I'm so disturbed.

So I decided to finally read up about this Lammily, seeing as so many people were either excited about her or unsure about her, and it lead me to many websites talking about how Barbie is a bad influence on kids. I admit I sighed and rolled my eyes when I saw that old line again. But it wasn’t until I watched a clip from Good Morning America where Robin Roberts saw one of Barbie’s pictures from her Sports Illustrated spread and said Barbie needed to basically go have a snack. That really rubbed me the wrong way. I’m all for making a more “curvier” doll to represent different types of woman, but all this talk about “normal” Barbie is just a big slap in the face to those women who are just normally thin and get tired of the whole “go eat a sandwich” line.

I don’t know, maybe it’s my lack of sleep, but I am just tired of reading or hearing that Barbie is the cause of little girls getting anorexia. Instead of society taking blame for it’s role in eating disorders and poor self image and even worse self esteem issues, everyone wants to point fingers at inanimate dolls. I’m a full-figured gal and I always played with Barbie as a child and not once did I say I want to go on a diet because of Barbie. I wanted to go on a diet because kids teased me at school for being bigger than them. I wanted to lose weight because clothes on the racks were made for smaller people. I wanted to be slimmer because you seldom saw a successful bigger person on tv and if you did they were always the sidekick or the comedy relief. But it was never Barbie who had me skipping meals, and I am pretty sure it’s not Barbie who has girls skipping meals now.

Meh, like I said, I’m going on lack of sleep. I’ll probably delete this later. I just had to rant a bit because everyone keeps saying that Lammily is an “ideal” body when really she just represents another shaped body. Naturally thin bodies are just as beautiful as fuller bodies and I don’t think people realize that sizeism goes both ways. And society needs to start taking more responsibility in it’s role that it plays in unhealthy self image.

And as for Lammily, she’s an interesting concept, but I see nothing glamorous about her, and it she makes playline level she is going to need more than just being a “normal” size to keep her appeal. If she doesn’t have much clothing or variety in clothing or her own world to live in and interact with she will become boring and live at the bottom of many toy boxes.

*yawns and gets off soapbox*


Derek looked at me with a smile and I sat down. We were on the jet. I fell asleep, leaning on the window. This case was the toughest I’ve dealt with yet and it really tired me out. As I was enjoying a lovely dream about Channing Tatum (don’t judge me) , I was interrupted by a familiar voice , in the middle of a fact rant. I mumbled,
“Gosh, really, Spencer?” He looked at me with a frown, his eyes gleaming through his glasses. He smiled and switched seats, sitting across from me. He leaned forward and rested his hand on my knee. “I’m not even tired anymore. Jeez, can’t I nap in peace?” I pleaded.
“You know, napping is very important for your mind and body. There are several types of naps and it is said that a 60 minute nap improves alertness for up to 10 ho-” I cut him off with a finger to his lips. He tried to mumble the last few words through but they sounded like garble. I finally closed my eyes and rested my arm back down at my side. After about 20 minutes, I hear Derek, Rossi, and Hotch laughing. I feel someone poking my arm. I open my eyes and, suddenly, feel two lips against my cheek.
“What the-” I say turning my head toward the face next to me, but am cut off by those same lips, crashing into mine. My eyes go wide. Hotch smiles and makes eye contact with me but quickly looks away. Garcia and Emily are behind us, giggling. Of course, Derek is slowly clapping, as if the young grasshopper has learned the ways of the master mantis. JJ and Rossi are talking in the corner, smiling, occasionally looking up at us from the case files. But there’s someone missing from this scene. Reid. I try to focus on the blurred face in front of me. Once I realize who it is, I am shocked at first. But soon my body gives in and my eyes slowly close and I grab at his arms. He cups my face and after a few more seconds, I pull away. His face is bright red as he looks at me. I look around as Derek comes up behind Reid and pats him on the back.
“Hey, (y/n), I taught him everything he knows. But what you don’t know is he’s been wanting to do that for years.” He winks.
“Shut up.” Reid snaps back. “I didn’t ask for help.” He said, mostly directed at me. A light blush spreads across my cheeks.
“He never stops talking about it; how he wants to hold you close, give you his sweaters, read to you, and my personal favorite; for you to “spend all of eternity in his arms”. He’s was top of his class in Romance, taught by yours truly.“ These thoughts surprised me, because they were some of the things I wanted in a relationship.
“Shut up, Morgan.” Reid snaps again. He is looking at his hands, trying to avoid eye contact. “I don’t obsess like that,” he stated, obviously embarrassed.
“Hey, Reid, tell her about that dream you had about her. The one where she-”
“Morgan!” Derek chuckled and claimed, with his hands up,
“Only trying to break the ice for you, man.” He walked back the his seat and put on his headphones, smiling. I looked at Reid, who was still blushing.
“Spen-” I started.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m sorry.” My smile slightly faded.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He looked up at me and his eyes brightened.
“I-I don’t? But I don’t understand. This scheme was out of no where and badly planned and I could’ve braced for the rejectio-” I interrupted him with a another kiss. This time, his eyes went wide. His cheeks turned tomato red. I could hear Garcia squealing.
“(Y/N) AND REID SITTING IN A TREE-” Everyone else joined along and sang, until we pulled apart. I rested my head on his shoulder and he draped his arm around me, pulling me closer.
“Wow. That turned out better than I thought.” He sounded shocked.
“I told you!” Morgan chimed in with an “I told you so”. I looked up at him and smiled,
“Now, tell me about this dream.” He laughed and covered his face.

She's Obsessed with Me Dude: Part 1

Part ½



“Sooooo you will never believe who I ran into today.” My best-friend, Katie, said setting the groceries on the counter.

“Who?” I said cutting up vegetables for tonights dinner.

“Calum.” I rolled my eyes, “Don’t be like that. Mikey fucked up. Not the whole band. They miss you. Especially Calum.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“If I remember correctly he fucks groupies too.” It felt like lava in my mouth saying groupie. Those too eager whores ruined my relationship.

“I’m not saying date him! Just give him call and hangout. You guys were friends is all I’m saying.” She stole a piece of carrot off my cutting board. “When’s dinner going to be done?”

“An hour or so. Did you get any food that was on this list? This is all junk and booze.” I searched through the bags of ‘groceries’.

“Well you see what had happened was-”

“Stop beating around the bush. What is this for?” I snapped at her.

“A party…”

“You planning on drinking this much at someone’s party?” I asked scared for her health.

“No silly. I picked up what the boys wanted. I even got your favorite!” Her small hands pulled out a huge bottle of Greg Goose.

“Where is this party, Katherine?” I growls knowing the answer.

“Here. But listen-”

“Dammit Katie! No I don’t want to be around anyone today. Cancel it.”

“Bullshit. Today is your birthday! I refuse to let Michael squander it.” She tilted her pointed nose in the air.

“Fuck you.” I grabbed the bottle from her hand and headed to my room.

She clapped at my defeat, “Love you! Do something with that hair! And would it kill you to wear something other than sweat pants?” She yelled after I headed up the stairs.

“Probably!” I said taking a long swig of the burning alcohol.


Loud music bellowed from downstairs. All the way dressed and quarter of the way trough my bottle. I hadn’t begun to feel anything except a little warm. Katie had just text me to come down stairs and greet 'our’ her guest.

I put a dark gray Cobain tank on with a black lace under thingy to cover my bra, black skinny jeans, and my black Toms(Toms are the ugliest cutest shoes ever. Fuck you). My hair fell straight between my shoulder blades and parts sat on my chest. I grabbed the bottle and descended down to my own personal hell. There must have been over a hundred people staring at me as I took the last step off the stairs.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They all shouted at me. I cringed at the noises.

“Y/n come see everyone!” Katie pulled my wrist towards the back door.

Calum, Luke, Ashton, and…Michael stood by our fire pit talking amongst themselves. While Katie had a death grip on my arm. She must’ve known I would b-line it straight into the middle of traffic rather than talk to any of them, especially him.

“Found her!” Katie chirped grabbing their attention.

They all looked at me with huge smiles, except Michael who just tilted his drink up and down his throat. His dark red hair was tucked under a black snapback. He knows I love it when he wears those. And he didn’t fucking shave, I love his stuble. Dammit to hell Michael! Fuck. I’m supposed to hate him for what he did to me.

“Happy Birthday Y/n!” Ashton gripped me into one of his Australian bear hugs.

“Thanks Ash. I can’t breathe.” I choked. He released me.

“I brought a bottle of goose, but apparently you’ve got enough.” Calum smirked.

“Maybe not.” I turned the bottle upside down glaring at Michael. He shifted under my glare and started typing away on his phone. Pussy.

“Eyes here.” Calum snapped his fingers at me.

“I’m sorry, but why is he even here?” No one answered me so I turned to Michael, “Why are you here?” I sneered.

“My groupie is on tour with another band.” He quiped.

“She get tired of you being a faded out, washed up, two pump chump?” Everyone was silent.

“Actually she began acting like you; a bitter cunt.” Before he could even smile at his words I chunked the bottle at him. He dodged it earning a shattering noise as it hit the fence. “You crazy bitch!”

“That’s enough! You promised you would behave of we let you come.” Luke yelled.

“She started it!” Michael defended.

“I’m going to need that other bottle Cal.” I scoffed taking his hand in mine leading us back inside. I heard Michael’s faint cursing as I closed the door.


The remainder of the party was uneventful. People had begun to thin out, and the state of the house became more apparent. I said my good-byes to Calum, Luke, and Ashton. Apparently Michael left a long time ago. I don’t fucking care. My body felt heavy as I drug it up the stairs. Missing a step and falling, I mentally cursed myself for drinking too much. Animalistic noises were coming from Katie’s room. I didn’t know whether to gag or congratulate her.

I could see the light from my room under the door, which is weird because I turned it off before I left. People better have not fucked or are fucking in there. The police would be arresting me for murder at this point, well at least assault with a deadly weapon: my fist. That was lame. I’ve never even been in a fight.

I opened my door and about shit myself at what I saw. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. There’s no way I’m drunk enough to hallucinate. Michael “Cheat on his Girlfriend” Clifford laid cuddled up to a bear he had gotten me for our anniversary. Guess I forgot to burn it with the other shit he got me. His hat had fallen off his head, and the red spikes sprawled out in every direction. He looked so innocent and peaceful. Maybe for a second I could pretend he didn’t completely fuck me over.

I sat on the bed and ran my fingers threw his soft hair. Honestly it always reminded me of cotten candy. His lips were so plump and red, I just wanted to kiss them until his soul came out(I watch too much Harry Potter). His green eyes fluttered open at my movements.

I instinctively retracted my hand, “Sorry.” I mumbled.

“You don’t ever need to apologize to me.” He mumbled groggily sitting up.

“Michael what are you doing in my room?” I slurred a bit.

Blackwood Academy - Chapter 18

A/N: Okay well… :O I hope you like this! Things will start to pick up pace in the next chapter, I promise. There are some things I’d like to introduce.

Summary: Dan has been thrown into a completely new environment as he joins a popular boarding school, Blackwood Academy, as a new student. But what will happen when he accidentally befriends Phil, a ringleader of the meanest group of students in the school? 

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real.


School was verging on being completely empty. The only other students apart from Phil and I who didn’t manage to go on the Ski trip, were a few of James’s crew, in the corner of the dining room playing a battle of Super Mario on their collection of 3DS’s, about five teachers who, to be honest, didn’t give a shit about what we did and didn’t do, and a small crowd of the ‘’inbetweeners’ of our school, who looked a lot more engaged in the pizza company they were prank calling than what Phil and I were doing. But it was still way too risky to even do so much as smile at each other.

My phone suddenly vibrated with Phil’s name. “Ha, one of them lost the Golden Mushroom. What a loser.”

Keep reading

Much Ado About Nothing (A Miraculous Ladybug fanfic)

A/N: Just another Ladybug fanfic that’s been bumping around my head for the past couple of weeks.  Again, it’s written using mainly headcanons but hopefully as each week passes I will have more canon stuff to work with.  As always, this means that more than likely this story is probably going to be horribly OOC and AU in another few weeks.  I had fun writing it though.  I will defend Adrien/Chat (Cat) Noir the book lover until I am proven wrong lol!

Title: Much Ado About Nothing
Words: nearly 1300
Summary: It’s a quiet evening so Ladybug has cracked out some homework to help kill time.  Unfortunately, Shakespeare has never been her favorite.  It does, however, appear to be Chat Noir’s favorite though.

Originally posted by aka-s-mel

Ladybug scrunched her nose up in irritation as she looked down at the jumble of words on paper.  How could anyone stand to just sit there and try to decipher them?  Life was too short to try and make heads or tails of Shakespeare… in English no less!  She had no idea how Adrien actually managed to enjoy reading these long, convoluted, old English plays for fun.  Ladybug was having trouble just making it through a single passage.  She had no idea how she was going to read and understand the entire play before her assignment was due.

“Whatcha readin’” Chat Noir’s bubbly voice called out to her.

Ladybug screamed in surprise and jumped about five feet in the air.  She managed to hit poor Chat in the chin because he’d been hovering over her shoulder without her realizing it. Okay, so that one was probably his own fault seeing as how he’d sneaked up on her.  Just the same though.  His jawbone was hard.  "Ow!“ whined Ladybug as she rubbed the top of her head.

"You’re telling me.” Chat Noir complained right back.  He was massaging his chin.  "I always knew you were hard headed but I didn’t realize just how much so.“

"Ha ha ha… you are so funny.” Ladybug told him as she rolled her eyes.

“So I’ve been told.” he shrugged.  Chat Noir dropped his hand and once more glanced over her shoulder.  "So what are you reading tonight?“

Ladybug pursed her lips and held up the book for him to see.  "Some Shakespeare play for class.  We had to chose one to do an independent reading project on.”

Chat Noir’s face lit up.  A smile stretched from ear to ear.  "No way!  You’re reading Shakespeare too?  I love Shakespeare!“

"I don’t.” grumbled Ladybug.  "I hate reading.“

"And here I thought you were my perfect woman.” Chat Noir teased lightly.  He said it so offhandedly which made her think that he hadn’t really thought before speaking.  Chat Noir did that sometimes, especially when he got excited.  Ladybug knew that he had a giant crush on her.  He hadn’t exactly been subtle about it.  She had firmly but kindly told him that she didn’t reciprocate his feelings and Chat Noir had promptly, and willingly, backed off.  He still made a few flirty remarks here or there but that was just who he was.  He never meant anything by them and he went out of his way to make sure she never felt uncomfortable.  Ladybug appreciated that.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone else who’s more up to your standards.” she told him with an eyeroll.

Chat Noir shrugged, “My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.  And yet by Heaven, I think my love as rare, as any she belied with false compare.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ladybug asked in slight irritation.  Cats.

“Shakespeare’s sonnet 130.” he said simply and leaving it at that.  Ladybug suppressed a sigh.  She should’ve known better than to ask a cat for a straight answer.  Sometimes she felt like she should be calling Chat Noir the chesire cat instead.  She didn’t have time to press it though because Chat Noir had plopped down beside her and was leaning at an odd angle to read the cover of her book.  "What play are you reading?“

"I don’t know… Much Ado About Nothing I think.” answered Ladybug.  Chat Noir let out something that kind of sounded like an excited squawk.

“Really!  That’s one of my favorites!  That one and Twelfth Night are two of the best comedies ever written.” he said.  He was speaking so fast that his words ran together.  

“It isn’t even remotely funny.” Ladybug told him in exasperation.  How could anyone find this old stuffy play funny?  

“What part are you at?” Chat Noir demanded.  He held out his hand and flexed his fingers in a “gimme, gimme” type way.  Ladybug handed over her book with a long and tired sigh.  

“I haven’t even made it past act one, scene one yet.” she told him as he flipped through the pages like a cat possessed.

“Oh so you haven’t reached any of the really fun stuff where like Benedict straight up acts like a love struck fourteen year old boy and runs off to get what equates to Beatrice’s school picture.” Chat Noir said.

Ladybug shook her head, “No, but does that really happen?”

“Oh yeah that happens after Claudio, the Prince, and Hero’s dad basically make up some giant lie to convince Benedict that Beatrice is in love with him.

"Okay, I know I didn’t understand much but I got the impression that neither Benedict nor Beatrice liked each other.” Ladybug pointed out.  She was seriously beginning to doubt her partner’s comprehension of the story.

“They don’t in the beginning which is why Beatrice basically calls Benedict the Black Plague and Benedict acts all surprised that Beatrice is still alive.  There!  'You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her.’” Chat Noir pointed to a line on the page.

“Okay, so how do these two become a couple if they can’t stand each other?  That makes no sense.” Ladybug asked as she waved her hand in the direction of the book.  "And how do you even understand this?“

"I like reading.  Understanding this just takes time and practice.  Sometimes seeing it acted out on stage helps too.  When I first read it, I watched a couple of productions on the internet and read along.”

“I guess that makes sense.  All the same, do you mind explaining exactly how these two go from throwing out insults every time they see each other to one of them acting like some crazy school boy and wanting his own picture of her.”

Chat Noir smirked, “Well I don’t think that they actually hate each other.  I think they’re just so caught up in teasing and making fun of one another that everyone around them is literally yelling ‘just kiss already.’”

“You sure about that?  That isn’t what I got from it.” Ladybug commented dubiously.

“Non, non!  It’s how the challenge starts.”

“What challenge?”

“Claudio has issues with patience.  He meets a girl, asks her to marry her the same day, but then can’t hitched the next.  He has to wait a week.  Thankfully his good buddy the Prince, Don Pedro, comes to his rescue and says ‘gee wouldn’t it be fun to make Benedict and Beatrice an item?  I bet we can do it in a week if we all work together!’” explained Chat Noir.  There was a wide smile on his face as he threw more enthusiasm into his synopsis than any literature teacher she’d ever had.  Wow, he hadn’t been joking when he’d told her liked to read.  Something about the story still didn’t add up though.

“Wait!  When does Claudio ask a girl to marry him?  Which girl?  Hero?” Ladybug asked in exasperation.  “I don’t remember even seeing something like that!”

“You’re not there yet.  You’ll have to read on in order to find out.” Chat Noir teased as he offered her book back to her.

“Help a girl out Chat.” begged Ladybug.  “Please!”

“Well, when you ask so nicely…” Chat Noir grinned.  He opened the book back to the start of the scene.  “So like with any good Shakespearean drama it starts with love and misunderstanding.”

It was a quiet Parisian evening.  There were no akumas to fight or villains to track down so Ladybug settled back on to her rooftop perch and listened to Chat Noir turn a stuffy, old, Shakespeare play into something that was genuinely funny.  Thank goodness for partners.

Why isn’t anyone...

…freaking out about the scene in the sauna? Poor Lucifer meant it all when he said that he hurts those closes to him, and that the world would be a better place without him.

I saw someone on here say that it was obviously fake, but it definitely wasn’t. You could see the whole way he was holding himself to be really rigid. His voice took on a different tone, as in the genuine-Luci tone, rather than the what’s-you-deepest desire tone. Even the way his fingers curl up. Bloody hell, I’m emotional again. 

anonymous asked:

I do envision Jon/Sansa in adjacent rooms. Jon alerted by Ghost when Sansa is having nightmares. One time his shirt open and hanging off him, he hears Sansa cry out and Jon rushes into her room, taking her into his arms as she cries. However, Sansa notices the scars on his chest/abdomen and, either too tired or too emotionally wrung-out to care, gently runs her fingers over his scars. She buries her face in his neck, laying her palm flat on his chest over his heart. They fall asleep that way

Oh, my God. Thank you for sending me this. I have definitely imagined a scenario where Sansa notices the scars and takes a particular interest in them, and that is one version I can get behind. And falling asleep together while embracing!? 

anonymous asked:

hi there! can you pls make a scenario where you and kai are very close you sleep wth the same bed and lives in one apartment you almost do that couples do. and one tine your friend visits you and she saw you wearing kai's shirt and kai is topless while you let her in and ask some random questions until you realize everything. somethinf like that ^^

i don’t know if i got your request right. but still i really hope you will like it :)

i decided to start to post my requested scenarios from today on, because this time i’ll try to finish my current to do list as fast as possible to fullfill your wishes :)

- nabi ❤

♠ ♠ ♠

Will you be mine? - Kai Scenario

♠ ♠ ♠

An ordinary day. Just like all the others before.
Just like all those days for the last two years now…

I yawned as I flipped through the magazine, waiting for him to finish his everyday routine in the morning. Brushing his teeth, taking a shower, doing something with his hair - It really was something. Because his hair would also stay the same when he would attack it with a hair dryer or not - shaving and then brushing his teeth again, after he had some snacks in the morning. It wasn’t in his intention to have a proper meal or only brush his teeth only once after he had eaten. He was strange. But I could live with it. On those days, he wasn’t here, I missed his somehow strange behaviour and started to act the same.

It was one of those friendships… How could I even think about those? I absolutely had no idea if other best friends were acting like this as well. But I guess, it was different with Jongin and me. I met him as we were still little kids, and after all that time we grew closer to each other, with every day that passed by. Even after his debut - Nothing changed! Lucky me, right? It got even better; After he was tired to live together with eleven other boys (he said they were noisy whenever he wanted to sleep), he decided to move into my apartement. This was two years ago. Nothing had changed until today. Lucky me, right?

My fingers heaved over the page for another time. Jongin was smiling from down there, a interview he just recently had given. About his ideal type of girl. About his beliefs of love. About his relationship No go’s. I’ve never read any of his interviews before. I’ve never watched one of those varities he was in. Because I only liked the Jongin I knew since I was little. And besides that I knew everything about him, and some things in those glamorous magazines weren’t the truth because they made him to tell it like this. I was about to turn to the next page as the doorbell interrupted my thoughts. Aish, I really wanted to read about Baekhyun’s definitions though… And I did not even waited for someone to visit me.

I groaned as I closed the magazine and threw it back onto the little table in front of the sofa. “I’ll open the door!”, I heard Jongin shouting as he came out of the bathroom, only dressed in sweetpants, some waterdrops still glitstening on his slightly tanned skin. One of my favourite pictures.
Not that I was in love with Jongin, no. But I still had to admit that he was attractive and since he was the only guy in my life (next to my dad and my grandfather) he was my ideal type. Because he was real, he was within my reach, he had all those characteristics I wished for my future boyfriend.

“You’re waiting for something?”, I asked and grabbed for the magazine again. Jongin beamed at me before laying one of his hands onto the doorknob, about to open the door. His hair was still wet and framed his face perfectly. “Hmm, I ordered chicken”, he smiled brightly and I raised my eyebrows. Before I could say anything in response he threw the door open and began to chuckle embarrassed. “It’s nine in the morning, how could someone eat chicken so early?”, I whispered to myself, sure he wasn’t able to understand it. “No, it’s okay. I thought you were the delivery boy”, Jongin chuckled quietly and caused me to lift my head in order to see who was standing right in front of him.

It was Mi Ra! My other best friend.
She was inspecting his naked upper body, a gently pink painted her cheeks and she smiled. I began to wonder if she maybe was counting all those remaining waterdrops on his skin, but then she lifted her head to meet his eyes for another time. Gladly he was one of those confused types of guys, so he didn’t noticed her checking him out. I bit my lower lip and forced myself not to smile while shaking my head. “I would bring you everything. You just need to ask”, Mi Ra responded while trying to smile as suggestive as she could. That was absolutely her. I knew her for about six years now, we’ve met as we were still in school and shared the same obsession, DBSK.

Well, she liked EXO now, what a surprise.

Jongin laughed out still embarrassed and rubbed the back of his neck before he stepped to the side to let Mi Ra enter our apartement. “I may take you up on that later”, he said with a mischievous tone in his voice, a voice I never liked. He ever used this voice before we began to argue or just to tease me in front of his friends. Jongin turned around while waving with one of his hands. “I’ll be back in some minutes”, he said while turning only his head to look over his shoulder in order to wink at Mi Ra. And then he disappeared in the bedroom. Mi Ra leaned herself against the frame of the door and sighed, one of his hands pressed to her chest. I rolled my eyes. I knew she had a thing for him even though she never could imagine herself dating him. Her ideal type was looking differently, maybe just like Tao. But she grabbed every chance she could get.

“Are you okay?”, I asked and acted like I was worried about her well being. I was not to be honest. She did this almost everytime and then she envied me for the great opportunity to live with Kai. Yeah, she never dared to use his real name. Even back then, some years ago, when she began to call him Nurejew. Just because she heard about him doing ballet.
“I think I saw an angel”, she answered, her hand still flatly pressed against her chest. Mi Ra sighed for another time before she entered the apartement and closed the door behind her back.

“Maybe you just got the flu”, I snorted instead of laughing out loud as she plopped down right next to me. I closed the magazine, once more. What a pity. I wasn’t supposed to read the interview with Baekhyun, huh? Mi Ra looked at me with questioning eyes and opened her mouth, tilting her head slightly to the side. “Why?”
I giggled and played with the corners of the magazine. “You’re cheeks are red, you’re acting dumb and your eyes are watery.”
“Just because he is so beautiful.” The living room was filled with our laughter until she suddenly stopped, observing me this time.

I raised my eyebrows and waited for her to say something. And I didn’t had to wait long. “Is this his shirt?”, she asked while pointing at the thin fabric which was laying lightly on my skin. I nodded. “How do you know?”
“Because he wore it some weeks ago, you know, when he did those incredible eureureong eureureong eureureong-moves for that special stage.” Her whole upper body was moving like she was dancing. Obsessed fangirl! “So how was it?”

"How was what?”, I asked curious, not knowing what she was talking about. Mi Ra shot me an don’t-try-to-fool-me-I-know-everything-look and rubbed her hands promising. “Ah, you really don’t want to tell me? Aish, ___-ah, when will you finally admit it?”
"Admit what?”
Mi Ra sighed and shook her head before resting it on the backrest of the sofa. “Do you still share the bed?”, she asked another question, confusing me even more. I cleared my throat and shrugged my shoulders. For me it wasn’t anything untypical. We were close and there was only one bedroom in my apartement and none of us wanted to stay on the sofa because it was too uncomfortable for night rests.
"Don’t you want to date someone already?”
“I didn’t thought about that yet.”
Some seconds of silence were laying in between us before another question crossed her mind. “But aren’t you lonely sometimes? I mean, he is away most of the times. You would have enough time to date another guy and to bring him over.”
“I don’t think I am lonely. He calls me whenever he is free. And if he can’t call me he will message me. I am not lonely, he is still here even if he is overseas”, I answered and decided to open the magazine for the third time now. Again I looked at the smiling Kai, not Jongin. For me it wasn’t real. “Oh, did you read his interview by now? It was really interesting. And Tao is so cute!”
As fast as I could I flipped through the pages until I saw Baekhyun’s face. Even though he wasn’t my ideal type of guy, he still was my favourite member. Even more after I got to know him. “I didn’t read it.”
“Will you?”, Mi Ra asked. Something was different today. She was different. It wasn’t her way to ask so many questions, not when it was so early in the morning. I shook my head and handed her the magazine, giving up finally. I knew she already had it but she was a collector so she wouldn’t mind to have a second one.
“Kai said he wants to date a girl who is just like you, isn’t that funny?” I looked up at her, a strange feeling inside my stomach, also in my throat. She was joking, right? Mocking me?

“I really need to ask you something. I have this question in my mind for quiet a while now…”
I hummed to signalise her to continue speaking, or maybe rather continue to interview me. “Do you think he has a girlfriend? Because, you know… Tao… He does not want to date me. Maybe I could ask Kai instead…”
“You don’t even know Tao!”, I interrupted her fastly. I did not wanted her to continue speaking now. Mi Ra already knew that Jongin hadn’t a girlfriend. He would have told me and I would have told her. There was this strange feeling again. It felt like my whole stomach was about to cramp together while my face began to heat up, like a fever was about to come.
“Yeah but Kai seems so calm and I think I need someone like this”, Mi Ra added as I looked away, acting like I was observing some books on the little side table, my fingers brushing over the backs of the books, titles of love novels. And suddenly I knew why she was asking all those questions. Mi Ra knew me better than I knew myself, she wasn’t attracted to Jongin, at least not like this. I took a deep breath as it almost seemed impossible to breathe properly. I somehow felt dizzy as I nervously bit my lower lip. I never thought about this before. Or maybe I did and didn’t realized it, surpressed those feelings.

I did not wanted to share him!
Jongin was my best friend and now he seemed to be so much more. After all that time living together with him, we acted like one of those couples - We were sharing one bed, we had breakfast together every morning, often we both were standing in the bathroom, brushing our teeth while smiling at the other one every now and then. We even fought like couples do. Maybe that’s why most of our friends thought we were acting strange, not normally. Maybe I was feeling jealousy . But I really did not wanted to share Jongin, with no one, not even with a girl he liked. I started to play with the hem of his shirt, ignoring the fact that I wanted to cry. Being best friends for over fifteen years wasn’t a good reason to start a relationship. I didn’t even knew if he would want this as well.

It only needed some words of my best friend to let me notice what I wanted. Of course I was feeling lonely whenever Jongin wasn’t here. But I never wanted to find another guy. I thought it was okay for me to always gulp down a heavy lump in my throat whenever he was talking to another femal idol. Wasn’t it just because I wanted to protect him? I wasn’t jealous, at least I thought so, But now reality seemed to hit me hard.

”___, are you there?”, I heard Mi Ra’s voice without reaching my mind properly. I nodded, not being able to answer. “Do you think he would say yes when I ask him out?” That was the moment my heart broke. Only imagining my two best friends could date each other hurted so much that I wanted to die. But he was Jongin - The guy I shared everything with. Not only my apartement, but also all of my thoughts. So was I supposed to tell him?
“Hmm?”, I turned around to look at Mi Ra again. A gentle smile was plastered on her face, her eyes were filled with worry. What was wrong with her?
“You really need to tell him!”
“What?” I blinked for several times, trying to force those tears to fade away.
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t date Kai, even if he would be the last human being on earth. He is yours. And he was all the time”, she still smiled, tried to encourage me as she patted one of my hands which was still laying in my lap. And then she jumped back to her feet, causing me to look up at her. “Tell him! And if it will work out then you will introduce me to Tao finally, hmm?” Mi Ra did not even waited for me to answer. She turned around and as soon as she closed the door behind her back Jongin entered the room, dressed in nice clothes just like he was about to go out on a date.

♠ ♠ ♠

I never felt like this before, so fragile, so sick. I never was in love before. Well, I was. I was only too stupid to recognize it. After Jongin had left I was laying in bed, the whole day. Hours were passing by slowly and everytime I heard a noise I lifted my head, hoping he was back at home. It only took me three hours to start crying and only two more to finally stop my tears. How could I even not realize that I was in love with my best friend? And even more important how would I be able to talk with him about my feelings? I was confused. Only some hours ago everything was okay. It was an ordinary day. Just like all the others before.
Just like all those days for the last two years now.

I turned around, facing his side of the bed. Jongin’s favourite hoodie was still laying on the pillow and it was the first time that I wanted to press my nose into the fabric, that I wanted to smell his scent while he wasn’t here. Oh God! How could this be even possible? I groaned frustrated and turned around for another time. Maybe I needed to only kick him out, to tell him to leave. And then we wouldn’t see each other for a long time, I would get over it and then I would find a guy who wasn’t my best friend, who would return my feelings.

My breath got stucked in my throat as I heard the door to our apartement got opened and closed a second after. He was back! What should I do? I decided for the only strategy that seemed to make sense. I curled myself up into a ball, my knees were almost touching my chin, and pulled the blanket until it was covering my whole body. My eyes were filling themselves with tears. Since when was I acting like this? “___?”, I heard his voice through the thick wood of the door to the bedroom, and it still sounded clearly even with the blanket over my head. “___, are you still a…”, he stopped talking and his voice seemed to be so near now. I held my breath. Maybe I could just act like I was already sleeping. He would leave me alone then, right? I clenched my teeth in order not to sob out loud. I felt a weight shifting on the bed and opened my eyes widely. No, he wouldn’t do that!

The blanket got lifted and a sudden cold breeze brushed the skin of my face before Jongin dared to place his own body right next to me, chuckling quietly. He slightly pulled at the blanket so it could cover his body up as well. “What are you doing?”, he laughed quietly, his breath hitting my face, making me even more dizzy than I was feeling before. I could hear my own heart beating, a sound I’ve never liked. “Hiding?”, I answered, not sure if I really should talk with him or not.

“Omo, did you saw a ghost?”, Jongin asked while stroking a strand of my hair behind my ear. I began to shiver even though I was already sweating a little bit. I wanted to slap his hand away, but he still was my Jongin, my best friend. And no matter what happens he would stay by my side, as my best friend. I sighed merely audible, my breath shaky. “Or did someone tried to break into our apartement?” Again his breath brushed my skin and strangely I felt safe.

“Hmm?”, he hummed as he closed his eyes, absentmindedly stroking my cheek with his thumb.
“Would you move out when I ask you?”, I held my breath as he threw his eyes open again. And even though it was already dark I could see his questioning eyes in front of my inner eye. My heart was beating so fast that I almost thought it would rip into two halfs. I never thought we would have a conversation like this. “Wh-what?”, he asked, his voice shaky just like my breath some minutes ago. “W-What are y-you talking about? DId I do something wrong?” I shook my head, knowing he was able to feel it when he couldn’t see it as well. “No, nothing! It’s just… Would you give me some time?”
“Time for what?”
“When I tell you something and you don’t like it, would you give me some time then?”
”___, what are you talking about?” And now I also was able to hear the beat of his heart. It was beating fast, in a unsteady rhythym. I was afraid of his reaction. Maybe he would laugh at me, think that I was only joking. But this wasn’t something you would joke about, right?
”___-ah, what’s wrong?”, his soft voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I wanted to scold myself for liking its sound so much. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Somehow I wasn’t able to look at him while telling him about my feelings. But now or never. I really needed to do this in order to live peacefully after. I heard Jongin inhaling some air as well in order to ask me about my well being for another time.

Time stopped as I cleared my mind and opened my mouth. Jongin stopped stroking my cheek, his hand now resting on the back of my neck. It was a familiar feeling, but still it was new, just because it was different now. “___-ah…”
“Will you be mine?”, I asked the question I had in mind, almost spilling everything out at once. And then there was silence. Nothing else. Jongin seemed to think about my words. Maybe he wasn’t able to understand me because I was talking so fast. He cleared his throat after a few more moments and then he laughed quietly. His breath was stroking my face in steady intervals. “___… what? You know, I am yours. I am your best friend.”
I sighed. Maybe it would help if I would hit his head. Just for two times. Really, only two times. Jongin grabbed one of my hands, holding it tightly, almost intertwining his fingers with mine while pressing it against his chest, not knowing that he made it only more worse. I wanted to run away, to leave the apartement, maybe also leave the country. I couldn’t control my actions anymore - I couldn’t control the tears which were filling my eyes. And I couldn’t control the ugly sob escaping my mouth as I opened it. “But… I…” I tried to get rid of the lump in my throat. But it didn’t worked. “I… I… I want you to be mine!”
”___-ah…”, his voice broke and he swallowed hard. “I…”
I smiled weakly. Of course he would react like this. He liked me, but he didn’t liked me the way I did. Just like he said some moments ago, he was my best friend, nothing more than that.

“I am yours, ___. I am!”
I shook my head. But this wasn’t enough. Not for me. I needed more, I guess I needed everything. More tears were escaping my eyes and I forced myself not to sob for another time. “No”, I let out in between heavy breaths, about to get some more space in between our bodies. “No… I want you to be mine. But not as my best friend. I want you to…”

I opened my eyes, wide and in shock. I wasn’t able to think properly anymore as Jongin pressed his lips against mine. They were so soft, so gentle that I almost forgot how to breathe properly. Why was this happening? What was he doing? Maybe he… I fully lost the ability to think as Jongin deepened the kiss, his hand on the back of my neck forcing me to come closer, to prevent me from pulling away. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t. I would never be able to break that breathtaking kiss, even if there were thousands of reasons not to kiss him. But too soon for my liking Jongin was the one to pull away. My head felt heavy and I felt like I could collapse if I wasn’t laying down already. He rested his forehead against mine, his hand still laying in my neck.
“What… I…”, I tried to ask a proper question but my thoughts were such a mess that it caused Jongin to chuckle again. Sweetly his deep voice reached my ears as I let out a heavy breath.
“Mi Ra told me to wait for you to finally say it. But no one knew it would take you three years”, he laughed quietly before planting a soft kiss at my forehead. I was dreaming, right? Because this couldn’t be true. Wait! What?
“Three years?”, I asked, my voice higher than usual, maybe about two octaves. “Three years?”, I repeated the question before sitting up in the bed, shivering because of the sudden loss of warmth. Jongin looked up at me, his eyes were asking me thousands of questions I had no answers to. He only nodded before also sitting up, facing me. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I made a tight fist while grabbing some of the fabric of his pillow.
”___, I… Mi Ra said you like me, but you did not know about it yourself. And so she said I should wait for you to tell me and…” Before he could say anything else I lifted the pillow and hit his head with it. I didn’t knew what I was feeling - Maybe I was a little bit frustrated, maybe a little angry. But as I was about to lift the pillow for another time, Jongin held up his arms to protect his pretty face from being attacked again. So I just dropped it back onto the bed before threwing my arms around his neck, trying to stop my tears from falling down endlessly. Stupid Jongin!~~