even my dog is a dork

reasons Robert Small is a fucking dork:

  • “I may be bad but you made me glad”
  • if you pick whiskey he says “Man after my own heart”
  • Likes pineapple on pizza (A sin)
  • Says he trusts no one, not even River. Changes his mind and says “Actually I trust you, you’re an old soul ,kiddo.”
  • “I’m working on my relationship with existence”
  • “You ever kill anyone?”
    “Yeah me neither. Or have I?”
  • Loves dogs
  • “You do know when the internet becomes sentient it’s gonna use this information against us right?”
  • Demands you stay for movie credits and literally thanks every single person named onscreen out loud
  • “If you ever call me Bobert again I’ll kick you in the shins”
  • Texts like a 16 year old boy
  • “Come outside. Don’t make me honk. I will honk. Get out here.”
  • Carries around a well-stocked first aid kit in his truck
  • Actually wears a goddamn leather jacket over a red sweater

                                 and all I can do is just wait
                                    for you to come round
                                          and save me

Monsta X as neighbors


•  rolls in on his scooter at like 2 in the morning every night, probably always waking you up
•  you’d think he was all badass, going to parties and staying out and everything…but he babysits dogs when their owners are away
•  and he’d tell you that one morning when you found him trying to get in your apartment bc he mistook it for his “are you sleepwalking lmao”
•  probably offers to cook you breakfast on the weekends if you’re not busy
•  bonus if you actually had a dog, he’ll give you discount and you’d have the pleasure of watching him being all cute and kissy with your pup


•  has knocked at least 17 times on your door, asking if you had any Ramen
•  even if you’re like “no……same answer as the last 16 times” he’s still like “ok well I have some, wanna come over?”
•  but it’s so fun flirting with him tbh he’s hilarious plus he always has expensive ice cream in his fridge that he’s willing to share if you came over
•  one time you found him flirting with your other neighbor when you came down the stairs “gasp, we’re you just hitting on timothy…I thought we had something special”
•  has a new hairstyle every time you see him 


•  introduces himself on like the first day of moving in, with a box of cookies and the whole shebang
•  way too cheerful and loud in the mornings but his energy rubs off on you and you can’t help but smile when you pass him in the hallway or the elevator
•  offers to go jogging with you on weekday mornings and have a late brunch
•  sometimes he comes over without any warning and makes himself a cup of tea while you’re cooking
•  has all the latest gossip on everyone in the building/street so you’re always scandalized


•  you probably heard about him before you even met him
•  “oh my gosh I heard he’s such a player tho” “did u see him blowing kisses at my dog???” “He looks like the type of guy to pour his milk before the cereal” look he’s just a dork
•  you always see him carrying brown paper bags for his groceries
•  retro 70s/80s music can heard from his door every Monday morning but you should probably not ask
•  has way too many plants and cacti in his apartment…..if you’re ever lucky to get invited inside to see


•  people would think he’s some sort of celebrity when he moved in next to you
•  always wearing blacked out shades and long pea coat even when it’s like 90 degrees at night
•  won’t even spare you a glance unless you’re carrying a new issue of his favorite magazine or you just smelled really nice “is that the new dior?”
•  once you have the privilege to step inside his abode, it’s like yall are besties and he’s sharing his favorite non-gluten recipes with you
•  gives everyone a stank look if if they stepped on his ‘welcome, bitch’ mat with their dusty shoes


•  does he even have hair on his head, why he always wearing a snapback ??????
•  brings his homies over every other night and it’s so loud, you can see like 3 or 4 more people sneaking in his door every few minutes
•  when you decide to finally give him a piece of your mind,  he’s like “bro come turn up its lit!!!! I got jello shots :’)))”
•  yeah ngl his parties are always lit and he plays the best music plus no one has any complaints bc they’re always at his place anyway
•  friends with the local pizza shop and has free deliveries if the manager is invited


•  an upstanding citizen, you’ve even seen him helping old people cross the street and save a fat pigeon from being run over by some kid’s skateboard
•  usually has his face buried in a book when the elevator is crowded, but you can bet he’s listening on everyone’s conversations
•  one time you caught him looking at your texts with your friend and it was just full of memes
•  that’s when he introduced himself…..I mean he kinda had to bc he couldn’t stop snorting at your sense of humor
•  has like 10 stray cats and cool lizards in his place “please don’t tell the landowner, I just couldn’t help myself :(”

Originally posted by wonhyu-k

worthless-pride-deactivated2017  asked:

Every time you post something or answer an ask about BSD (specifically Chuuya), I I die a little on the inside~ xD I need more of my petite mafia on my dashboard~ ๐Ÿ˜‚Thank you for being such an amazing blog! ๐Ÿ’–

Thank you for this kind message, my dear! Here a random assortment of my favorite Chuuya gifs to make your dash look better :D

We have disgruntled Chuuya

Originally posted by umbrella-kun

Illegal smirk Chuuya

Originally posted by 34takano

where the fuck is his modeling contract Chuuya

Originally posted by perpendicular-hearts

Corruption Chuuya (one of my personal favorirtes)

Originally posted by nikforovs

Commander on the front lines Chuuya 

Originally posted by 34takano

A gif that always makes me feel a lot Chuuya

Originally posted by val-sivan

Actual definition of breathtaking Chuuya

Originally posted by dailyanimefans

Baby dork Chuuya

Originally posted by 22yukina

I used corruption because I trusted you Chuuya (there goes my heart)

Originally posted by amirn

The bluest eyes that ever blue Chuuya

Originally posted by kunikidaz

A jawline that could cut my whole existence in half Chuuya

Originally posted by dachuuzaiya

And, of course, the most precious of them all: sleeping Chuuya

I hope this was enough, even if we all now that there’s no such thing as enough Chuuya! 

Tenka’s official Twitter posted Tanabata wishes from the characters (even NPCs)… 

This isn’t all of them, haha… Sorry…

Nobu [Useless. … If you say you really want to hear it, it’s not like I don’t want to write it]

Hide [Everyone can pass the time with a smile]

Yukkin [Be able to realize Saizo’s tricks/teasing a little faster]

Saizo [A tree that grows dango]

Inu [Everyone would stop treating me like a dog]

Shige [All the taiyaki in the world to have koshian (smooth bean paste) filling]

Mitsunari [Hideyoshi to have an active summer]

Shingen [Wish? I don’t have it. I will make things happen with my own strength]

Yasu [This useless festival to disappear]

Masamune […… zunda-mochi]

Kojuro [Safe family, healthy longevity]

Kiyohiro [……. Please tell me what I should write on this paper]

Fuuma [Saizo-san Saizo-san  Saizo-san  Saizo-san Saizo-san Saizo-san Saizo-san  Saizo-san  Saizo-san Saizo-san turn around!]

Kageie [ (^・ω・^)←Tora ]


Kageie is such a dork even though he looks so cool LOL 

Phan fluff: moving house

This ones kinda short but everyone keeps saying that they’re moving and it inspired me to write sooo

Dan and Phil were sat on the floor in Phil’s room. They were trying (trying being the key word) to sort through their stuff to get it ready and packed. They were running out of time though. Dan had kept nagging Phil to start sorting through his seemingly endless pile of junk, Phil’s argument being that he wanted to keep it all, his room was full of it did he really need that much?Eventually has Dan given up relying on Phil to do it on own and decided to help him, only because he was afraid they wouldn’t be packed in time. After all, they were moving tomorrow!

Hey Dan, do you think I should keep this?’ Phil asked, pulling some form of soft toy out of one of his draws.
‘You should probably throw it away to be honest, do you really need a stuffed walrus plushie?’ Dan questioned, half rolling his eyes.
‘But it’s cuddly and soft’
‘Like me’ Dan joked.
Phil snorted
'Does that mean I should throw you away too?’
'Oh but you wouldn’t want to throw me away would you?’

Dan got up and wrapped his arms around Phil, Phil chuckled and whispered
'Maybe I would’
to which Dan quickly responded by turning the hug into a wrestling match. He squeezed Phil tighter, scrambling as Phil reacted, then both boys tried to push each other to the floor, Dan tried to jump on Phil when he suddenly felt him tickling his neck. His neck was extremely sensitive and his arms and legs were flailing all over the place as Phil mercilessly tickled him, laughter escaping them both. Phil eventually gave up the tickling and gave Dan a cheeky grin before pinning him to the floor.
'Don’t mess with me Howell’ Phil exclaimed proudly as he looked down at Dan.
'Wouldn’t dream of it’ Dan gazed up at Phil innocently.

Phil let out a sigh of content and collapsed, lying on top of Dan on the carpet, he could feel Dan’s heart beating and his stomach moving gently up and down as he breathed. Both boys lay there like that for a moment, though they would have lay there forever if they could. It was Dan who eventually spoke up.
'Phil?’ He whispered.
'Yeah Dan?’
'Im really gonna miss this apartment you know, we have so many memories here’
They both sat up and looked at each other then.

'Like all the times we walked into that goddamn glass door in the kitchen!’ Phil chuckled.
'And remember when you literally broke three mirrors!’
'And all the videos we filmed here, oh Dan you’re making me sad now!’
'Yeah, it is sad but think of it as a new adventure, in mean we’re moving into our very own house! We’re gonna have a garden and our own bedroom…’
'Still don’t know how we’re going to explain to our subscribers that we only need one bed now…’ Phil blushed while he said this.

'Well um… yeah, but I’m sure we can overcome that, anyway maybe we could even get a little puppy since we’d be allowed to now’
'We could get a little shibe, oh my gosh Dan yes!
'Although I’m not sure we’re quite cut out to be parents, even if it is just dog parents’
'Oh come on, we’ve got our own house now! We’re totally adults’
'Says the one holding the walrus plushie’
Phil was in fact now holding the plushie again, having picked it up to fiddle with while they were talking.
'Okay, mabye I’m not 100% adult yet’
Phil smiled, a cute childish little smile that caused Dan to smile back.
'No, you’re just 100% dork’
Dan leaned in closer to him and their lips connected, Phil throwing the walrus plushie to the side and running his hands through Dan’s hair.
'I love you’ Phil breathed against his lips, Dan lips smirked against Phil’s as he replied.
'Now 101% dork’

Random Dialogue Prompts

I had some free time in class so, of course, I spent my time writing these. Feel free to use or send in requests!

  1. “Whoa, take it easy there.”
  2. “You really think you can handle this?”
  3. “Wow, you look, uh…interesting.”
  4. “Oh, come on, you’ll be fine.”
  5. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
  6. “Why would you go to all this trouble?”
  7. “You’re incredibly persistent, I’ll give you that.”
  8. “You don’t deserve this.”
  9. “Close your eyes.”
  10. “What are you doing under there?”
  11. “You need to stop before someone gets hurt.”
  12. “Where the fuck am I?”
  13. “You look like you could use some help.”
  14. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
  15. “Hey, quit laughing!”
  16. “Nope, no way, not a chance.”
  17. “I’m fine, just tired.”
  18. “Why did I even try?”
  19. “You don’t scare me.”
  20. “Hey there, sleepyhead.”
  21. “I’d rather jump out a window, thanks.”
  22. “You’re such a dork.”
  23. “I can’t believe you!”
  24. “Oh my god, your hands are freezing.”
  25. “What did you expect?”
  26. “Any chance I could get you to stop staring at me?”
  27. “Can I pet your dog?”
  28. “Holy shit.”
  29. “Dude, it’s like three in the morning.”
  30. “Hey, slow down!”
  31. “Are you feeling alright?”
  32. “It’s not my fault!”
  33. “Dance with me.”
  34. “Listen, I’m running on two hours of sleep here.”
  35. “I can’t feel my toes.”
  36. “You look absolutely stunning.”
  37. “You sure you’re okay?”
  38. “How are you so perfect?”
  39. “I’ve never seen snow before.”
  40. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
  41. “Are you— are you afraid of thunder?”
  42. “How did I get so lucky?”
  43. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
  44. “Would a hug help?”
  45. “You’re safe, I promise.”
  46. “Goddamn, that’s strong.”
  47. “Babe, you’re shaking.”
  48. “Okay, I know this looks bad…”
  49. “Listen, don’t freak out, but there’s something moving on your arm.”
  50. “I don’t want to go.”

Dirk loves social media, even though he’s new to it. His favourite is Instagram because of the aesthetic and tries to be aesthetic himself but is just kind of a mess of memes, dogs, cats and Todd. anyway, he and Todd have been engaged for a year and every month, Dirk would make a post saying ‘i’m marrying my best buddy in x amount of months’. Todd sees this and smiles to himself every time because his fiancé is a dork but he loves him. anyway, on the day they get married, Todd posts a picture of them kissing with the caption 'i finally got married to my best buddy’ and has the ridiculous love-sick teenager tags like #blessed #solucky and Dirk would see it and cry a little because neither of them have ever been this happy

bonus : they keep their surnames but Todd refers to Dirk as Mr Brotzman and Dirk calls Todd Mr Gently

anonymous asked:

Top 5 most attractive anime characters? (one for each anime, don't cheat)

I won’t cheat my love, even if picking one for each it’s gonna be damn hard

1. Rin Matuoka (Free!). My one and only, among all the anime boys, he’ll forever be my favorite. I don’t even know how to describe him, he’s just…perfect (and his ponytail makes my soul leave my body and ascend every single time)

Originally posted by leicestermaycraft


2. Kuroo Tetsurou (Haikyuu!!). You’ll have to rip the idea that he was made to be the sexiest character of the series from my cold dead hands. He might be a gigantic dork, but his bad boy aura does things to all of us, don’t lie to me. 

Originally posted by odd-ballduo

3. Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs). Listen. L i s t e n. I could talk about Chuuya forever and I’ve been irrationally attracted to him and to his personality from the very first time I saw him. With his androgynous look he’s the definition of “the best of both worlds”, I bet he made almost everyone question their life choices. He’s simply a character like no one else…he’s just Chuuya <3

Originally posted by okami-fr

4. Seishuu Handa (Barakamon). He is probably the most canonically stunning male character ever designed. He’s so delicate, almost royal in everything he does and in the way he carries himself. He’s the kind of guy you could just sit down and admire how’s like. A walking work of art. 

5. Haruka Tenoh (Sailor Moon). Let’s end this with my very first anime crush. I’m glad that you kept your request gender neutral so I could put here my beloved Haru. No matter how many years have passed, she still makes my heart go !!!!! every time I see her

Originally posted by sairenji

- bonus: special mention to one of my favorite heroes, the very much beautiful Todoroki Shouto from Boku No Hero Academia!

Originally posted by xkarmas

Thank you for your messages!

Ask me my top 5 things!

old friends

okay so last night i got this really cute prompt for a blurb but i really loved it so now it’s a full story!

i hope this isn’t as inconsistent as i think it is

anyway! here it is!

“I’m gonna miss you.” You said, wiping your eyes on the sleeve of Dylan’s jacket that he had given you.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” Dylan had always liked to be the brave one. He was the stronger one out of the two of you. He always did his best to make you feel safe. But now he had tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat making his already cracking, changing voice even more uneven.

“Me neither. But you’ll always be my best friend, okay? No matter what happens, even if we never talk again.”

Dylan pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight against his thin body. A single, quiet sob escaped your mouth, making him pull you even closer.

“Love you,” he murmured into your hair. “Always will.”

Your voice hitched when returning the sentiment.

“Come on, sweetie,” your mother called from the family car, filled to the brim with personal belongings. “We have to get there before the movers.”

With that he reluctantly let you go and you climbed into the backseat.

At twelve years old, the hardest thing you’d ever had to do was wave to your best friend through the rear window until he disappeared from sight. You sighed, leaning your head against the back window and trying to will the tears away and preparing yourself from the hours of driving to your new home.

Dylan sat in his seat, the very last in the row, slouched back and drumming his pencil against the desk, waiting for class to start. The warning bell rang and students began filing in, quickly finding their seats. He thought he caught a glimpse of someone new but wasn’t quite sure. Besides, he didn’t actually know most of the kids in this class anyway.

The teacher stood at the board in the front of the room waiting for everyone to quiet down.

Once silence had settled in the room she spoke.

“We’ve got a new student joining us today. Say hello to y/n, everyone.”

Dylan didn’t look up instead staring down at his desk, fondly remembering his best friend from childhood by the same name. It was common enough, but he still thought of her every time he heard it.

Monotonous greetings from the other students filled the room as the teacher rolled out the projector and placed a transparent plastic sheet on it to display on the whiteboard.

Dylan mindlessly copied the notes down, paying little attention to his surroundings. That is, until he heard the teacher say something he almost didn’t believe;

“Did you go over this at your old school, Ms. y/l/n?”

His head snapped up to look at the girl in the front row.

No fucking way.

The girl shifted uncomfortably. He remembered how she hated being called out.

“Yes ma’am.” she said in an accent slightly different than the one she had as a kid.

The teacher nodded in approval and turned back to the lesson.

He couldn’t help but notice how different she was. She’d gotten her braces off and her frizzy, tangled hair was now soft and smooth, styled in a very flattering cut.

She had also… evened out, so to say.

The baby fat she had when she was young was gone, giving way to soft curves. Her boyish chest was gone, replaced by that of a young woman. On her chest rested a silver locket. He tried to convince himself that was what he was staring at.

Yeah, a locket. Of course. It’s just.. So interesting. Who wouldn’t be compelled to stare at it?

Dylan spent the rest of the class staring at the girl, completely unbeknownst to her.

He decided to wait after the bell rang to talk to her.

You checked the clock on the wall and then your schedule. Class was almost over. Next was lunch, and anxiety rose in your stomach thinking of standing alone in the crowded cafeteria searching for a place to sit. You swallowed, glancing to the brown paper bag beside you and thinking you probably wouldn’t be eating today. You were just too nervous.

You gathered up your things and stood up as the bell rung, making your way to the door to follow behind your classmates to the lunchroom.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when a large hand landed on your shoulder.

“Oh shit, sorry,” the boy said, leaning down to pick up the books you’d dropped. He handed them back, standing up to full height. Your eyes traveled upwards in awe of just how fucking tall this kid was. When your eyes landed on his face. You recognized him immediately by the large nose he had hated so much as a child.

“Dylan?!” you dropped your books all over again, instead standing on your tiptoes and wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

He stiffened in surprise for only a moment before wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you just as tight as he had the last time you saw him five years ago.

“Oh my god, Dylan,” you let go of him to pick your books up yourself this time. “You haven’t changed a bit.” you were positively beaming.

“I uh,” his hand went absentmindedly to the back of his neck. An old habit. “I can’t exactly say the same about you.”

You let out a small laugh. “Yeah, puberty really did a number on me, huh?”

Dylan blushed, bashful as ever, and ignored your comment.

“Hey listen, do you wanna sit at my table at lunch? Since you don’t really know anyone yet, I mean.”

You smiled wide and linked arms with him, exiting the room. “Even if I knew everyone in the whole damn school I’d still wanna sit with you, Dyl.”

Everyone was staring at him. Dylan just knew it. He knew for a fact that every person he passed was wondering what the fuck a freak like him was doing with such a hot girl on his arm.

As soon as she figures out what they say about me she’ll want nothing to do with me. he thought to himself. He shook the thought from his head and tried to enjoy your company while it lasted.

Dylan led you through the bustling cafeteria to a table near the far end, full of kids who, to be honest, didn’t look like the people you would usually hang out with. But if Dylan liked them they had to be nice people.

As you got closer one of the boys nudged the guy beside him, gesturing his head in your direction. The other guy looked almost shocked and leaned across the table to talk to a few others, who all turned their heads to look at you. You couldn’t help but feel a bit self conscious at all the attention.

The table was quiet as you sat down. No one said anything for what felt like an eternity. Finally, a boy with short brown hair spoke up. “So, who’s this, V? You get a girlfriend?” the kid was smirking, clearly enjoying the slight embarrassment from his friend.

“Uh, this is y/n.” you gave a small wave to the table.

The other boy raised his eyebrows, “You mean the one whose picture you have in your room?”

He turned a bright shade of red and some of the boys snickered.

“You kept it?” you asked, feeling touched that he still kept it out after all these years.

He nodded sheepishly.

“I kept yours, too.” you told him, taking off the locket and opening it up.

Inside were pictures of your two best friends from childhood. One side held a photo of your first dog, the other the picture you’d traded with Dylan the day you left.

You didn’t think it was possible, but he turned even deeper red, despite the wide grin spreading across his lips.

“Oh my god,” the brown haired boy said, grabbing the locket from you, “You look like such a fucking dork, V.”

Dylan promptly snatched the pendant away and handed it back to you.

The conversation soon drifted to something else, but you couldn’t help but notice the way the other guys were smirking at Dylan, and how he would mouth shut the fuck up to them.

They all exchanged looks when you leaned your head against your friend’s shoulder, taking in the smell of cigarette smoke and clean laundry. A strange combination, you thought. But, by the looks of things, so were you and Dylan.

Sanvers Week Day 5 – Domestic

A/N: as always, no beta, english isn’t my first language, blah blah, hope you enjoy anyway this slice of life that is day 5!

This morning, as most mornings went, Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer were awaken by an excited big puppy. No, not Kara Danvers, but their actual, newly adopted dog Gertrude. An half asleep Maggie poked Alex until she grumbled and reluctantly got up. The DEO agent changed out of her pajamas and into her running outfit.

“Yeah, yeah, Gertie, we’re going,” she said to the dog as she put the leash on her collar, and with a kiss to her girlfriend she was out of the door.

It was their morning routine now; Alex was going for a run with their energic pup while Maggie was doing breakfast (a task she claimed after the third time Alex burnt the food). This morning though, Alex decided to break the habit a little with a romantic gesture.

“You bought me flowers, Danvers? What did you do?”

It wasn’t the reaction Alex was hoping for when she bought the bouquet of red roses on her way back.

“Nothing.” She shrugged.

“You want to ask me something then.” Maggie squinted her eyes, examining Alex’s reaction.

“No, why? I can’t buy flowers to my lovely fiancee without having a hidden motive?”

“Mmh, of course you can. Thank you. They smell wonderful.” The petite cop pecked Alex’s lips gently.

“Yeah, something else smell good here. Is that blueberry pancakes?” Alex asked, hugging Maggie from behind and looking at the food over her shoulder.

“Yeah, I know they’re your favorite.”

“They are. But Kara’s favorite is chocolate chips, so I rarely have the chance to eat them. Did someone tell you you’re amazing?”

“Yeah my fiancee tell me so all the time.”

“Smart woman.”

“Yeah, she is.” Maggie confirmed and drew Alex for another chaste kiss. “Come on, let’s eat before it goes cold. Set the table while I take care of the flowers, okay?”

“Yes ma'am.” Alex replied cheekily. Maggie roled her eyes at that but didn’t comment.

They ate mostly in companionable silence, simply enjoying each other presence. Gertrude was dozing at their feet under the table, seemingly exhausted after her run with Alex earlier. All three of them were basking in this simple moment of domesticity; Alex and Maggie especially were reveling in the fact they found a person to enjoy all these little moments with. No, not just a person, but the right person. 

And even Gertie, in her own dog way, was probably thanking her lucky star for having been found by these two humans after having spent so much time at the shelter.

All three were a familly now, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stanning Kim Namjoon can be bittersweet. He gets a lot of hate and people are unwilling to forgive him or give him a chance to redeem himself. Even though heโ€™s the leader, the member who can speak fluent English, addresses international fans at every opportunity and helps write songs for Bangtan (and now Homme), some still mock his accent (when he taught himself English), still disregard him, and he has very few active fansites.

Heโ€™s an intelligent guy, thoughtful (late night musings on the fancafe) and a complete dork. My references? His excitement catching that damn crab, befriending a frog and a dragonfly, his immeasurable love for Ryan and forever being rejected by his dog (which he named Rapmon, bless his pure heart).

Keep reading

Coffee Shop Rescue III

Paring: Pater Parker x (Female) Reader

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 1520

Summary: You wake up the morning after the attempted mugging and plan on doing nothing, then you remember that youโ€™re supposed to go out.

Part 1 ย Part 2ย  Part 4

Saturday morning you woke up and stared at your ceiling, arms behind your head, under your pillow, sheets pushed down to your waist. You were wide awake, watching how the sun coming in around the edges of your curtains created patterns on the ceiling as the light reflected off the mirror. The gauze wrapped around your neck rubbed just enough when you shifted to remind you of the night before, and force the realisation that it wasnโ€™t just a bad dream.

Should I report it to the police? Would I have to testify? Was it worth it?

Throwing the covers the rest of the way off, you got up and shuffled to the bathroom. The blue and teal decor was relaxing, but not enough to quiet your mind.

Keep reading

  • โ Uh, do whatever you want, I'm super dead! โž
  • โ You have a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important. โž
  • โ Ring ring, hello? Oh, hold on, it's for you - it's second place. โž
  • โ You know that I ain't bragging. โž
  • โ I'm reading this from Wikipedia, so it has to be true. โž
  • โ Let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot. โž
  • โ I bet I've got til lunch at least before everyone sees I'm a spaz! โž
  • โ I'm not very hungry - just gimme a double Polar Burger with everything and a cherry soda with chocolate ice cream. โž
  • โ Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo! โž
  • โ Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits. โž
  • โ Is that unfair? -- Oh wait, I don't care. โž
  • โ The truth is that you're such a dork, you kinda make it cool. โž
  • โ We got more balls than the team we cheer for! โž
  • โ Miss Goody Two Shoes makes me wanna barf. โž
  • โ Even mocking cheerleaders cannot hide the emptiness in my soul. โž
  • โ They're dogs! No! Lower than that, they're fleas on dogs! โž
  • โ I'm a trust fund baby, you can trust me. โž
  • โ The dinosaurs choked on the dust, they died because God said they must. โž
  • โ Happy kitties, sleepy puppies, tiny duckies, sparkly ponies... โž
  • โ My teen angst bullshit has a body count. โž
  • โ Give my love to the leprechauns. โž
  • โ I thought you were a spoiled, rich, uptight little white bitch now I think you're just white. โž
  • โ I am tired of living alone with my cat! โž
  • โ You drink a lot of Red Bull, don't you? โž
  • โ If I get blood on the carpet my mother will kill me. โž
  • โ Some say that I'm a pompous creep - somehow I don't lose that much sleep. โž
  • โ Such a blunder. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder. โž
  • โ Shakin' at the high school hop. โž
  • โ I've got lots of experience with not fitting in. Do you need some pointers? โž
  • โ Ugh. You've got a left hand, use it. โž
  • โ Showing up here took some guts, time to rip 'em out. โž
  • โ Keep that pelvis far from me! โž
  • โ Thanks, but I don't need voices in my head today. โž
  • โ You don't wanna hear all the horny details. โž
  • โ I gotta go get my asthma spray... โž
  • โ Your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. โž
  • โ Does your mommy know you eat all this crap? โž
  • โ Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply. โž
  • โ Language, honey child, please. โž
  • โ Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. โž
  • โ I don't rat my hair! โž
  • โ My dog speaks more eloquently than thee. โž
  • โ Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in. โž
  • โ You're my last meal on death row. โž
  • โ I've got a big butt, well so what? It's good as any other! โž
  • โ I led a protest march against insensitive cartoons! โž
  • โ Some people are SO touchy. โž
  • โ Mama gave birth to the hand-jive. โž
  • โ It's hot in here and kinda smells like someone wet the bed... โž
  • โ Oh... I wanted to answer the puppy question? โž
  • โ You're absolutely right - should have shot him in the mouth, that would've shut him up. โž
  • โ I haven't slept since 1992. โž
  • โ Malum in se is an action evil in itself. Assault, murder, white shoes after labor day. โž
  • โ You need a cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of all these years of diagreements. โž
  • โ Donate my car to crippled kids, or to those ghetto moms on crack. โž
  • โ I'm, like, gonna cry - I got tears comin' outta my nose! โž
  • โ Keep your filthy paws off of my silky drawers. โž
  • โ Color me stoked. โž
  • โ Yo, who the f is this? โž
  • โ You've got the best friggin shoes! โž
  • โ Keep it positive as you slap her to the floor! โž
  • โ Come on! Let's go krunkin' in the parking lot! โž
  • โ I've come of age to be a raging castrating bitch! โž
  • โ I'll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities. โž
  • โ Really stick it to the phallocentric war machine! โž
  • โ Must we all descend into madness? โž
  • โ It's a work of genius. I couldn't undo it if I tried.... and I tried. โž
  • โ Dear God... it's scented. โž
  • โ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. โž
  • โ So go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock. โž
  • โ I want a devil in skin tight leather. โž
  • โ You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick? โž
  • โ You know, for a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. โž
  • โ You ain't never caught a rabbit. โž
  • โ Honestly, it's kind of draining... โž
  • โ I just did what you wished you could but you don't have the balls. โž
  • โ I'm dazzling! Magnificent! I am the one percent! โž
  • โ Now what I'm going to say may seem indelicate... โž
  • โ I'm gonna French kiss with tongue like I dreamed I'd do - and not just with my pillow! โž
  • โ It's like hearing a ticking sound coming from unmarked packages! โž
  • โ Someone's had their morning coffee... โž
  • โ We're what killed the dinosaurs! โž
  • โ I don't know what you heard, but whatever it is, they started it. โž
  • โ Fine, okay, I'm gay! โž
  • โ You can set my bones and I know CPR. โž
  • โ Immigrants - we get the job done. โž
  • โ Man. What rich, romantic planet are you from? โž
  • โ Whaaaaaaat. โž
  • โ What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending. โž
  • โ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. โž
  • โ Awesome... wow. โž
  • โ I'm bigger than John Lennon! โž
  • โ I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. โž
  • โ If you're going for mediocre, you've done great! โž
  • โ Alright, we can't break out of here, but we sure can break a sweat! โž
  • โ Gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky. โž
  • โ It's got groove! It's got meaning! โž
  • โ When I fight I make the other side panicky! โž
  • โ That is a metro hetero jerk! โž
  • โ Love is like forever this is no time to economize! โž
  • โ Their thinkin' is stinkin' and a little outdated. โž
  • โ I'm probably too cool for you, so friend request denied. โž
  • โ You're on Jiffy Pop detail. โž
  • โ I don't have to always be right - when I'm with you, I just am. โž
  • โ I'm raisin' hell and I'm a felon in a four foot frame. โž
  • โ Guys who wear that get beat up on my street. โž
  • โ It's like making love to you all night, NO WAIT! It feels so much better! โž
  • โ No sleep for you, better chug that Mountain Dew. โž
  • โ All I got was a running nose and Asiatic flu. โž
  • โ You ain't no friend of mine. โž
  • โ We have fought on like, seventy-five different fronts. โž
  • โ I'm not freaking out, I'm really okay, I'm totally chill. โž
  • โ If your Irish boy tires of you, you're allowed to shoot him in the knees. โž
  • โ You ever see somebody ruin their own life? โž
  • โ The more you jump around and scream, the sexier you seem. โž
  • โ Peachy keen, jellybean. โž
  • โ Both your hair and shoes are flat. โž
  • โ Lookin' hot, Cream of Mushroom! โž

daffodylsims  asked:

Hey Lee Lee! I just wanted to say how much I ADORE your CC and just you in general. Your hairs just make my Sims SOO CUTE! Your easily my favorite Tumblr and look forward to your posts everyday. Even though the whole community's freaking out about cats and dogs, I'm freaking out about what you going to do with the cats and dogs hairs. You make me really happy and I fan girl Everytime you answer an ask of mine! I wish I could meet you IRL, and just talk Sims๐Ÿ˜Š!

Originally posted by charnellecatastrophe

Thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful, adorable, incredibly sweet message.  I’m seriously about to cry.

I’m legit just a dork in her room making CC, but ya’ll always are just so sweet to me and make me smile so much.  Thank you liking and using my stuff, and sending me super sweet messages. ♥♥♥♥♥

Dance With Devils character reviews according to me (spoilers up to episode 7)


- Practically has only one facial expression.
- England with thin eyebrows and seriousness up to eleven.
- His name’s Arlond but plays shogi rather than chess.
- Saito Soma being the coolest he’s ever been.
- “Begone, you vulgar fellas.”
- Nice mansion.
- Uses helicopters, limos, and princely walk even tough I’m sure he could teleport between the halls.
- I’m sorry but you can’t just control those punks. Poor you.
- Loves her.
- Dodged as hell at first. Then he’s the one doing the dodging after she’s creeped by her bro.
- “Notice me Rem-senpai!” “You’re just my pawn.” “That sounds fake but okay…”
- Everyone and everything’s punching bag.
- I wanna pat him.


- Hot Exorcist.
- Great hair.
- Okumura Rin’s schoolmate.
- I don’t need to say that he has chronic siscon right.
- Frilly apron.
- Totally not her brother.
- Forbidden relationship between siblings which is hot. Then it’s not really forbidden afterall, but still hot.
- Already found his purpose in life at 17.
- Vampire.
- Biggest creeper and the most horny.
- Hot.
- Hot voice.
- Hot.


- Token casanova with roses.
- Orange hair.
- Too pretty to be human.
- Why is his uniform white??? Biggest mystery.
- Hates butterflies.
- Holyshit his fangirls.
- Stop this guy.
- Rem’s homodachi.
- No sense of personal space, which is shared with his peers, but he’s a level above.
- Thorny whip.
- I dunno what to say about him anymore.


- I don’t understand how he keeps his jacket like that it must be demon magic.
- Token hip hop guy in the boyband.
- His smile could kill.
- Oresama.
- Doesn’t know how doors and windows work.
- THE MOST FABULOUS PUNK I’VE EVER SEEN oh my god I laughed so hard at his song and the MV and through his episode.
- Cool car.
- Loves sightseeing.
- FALLS HARD (It won’t kill him tough so he doesn’t mind).
- Dork.
- How’s this guy function in society I can’t comprehend.
- Eats babies.
- Dork.


- Probably loves bondage too if the ending means something.
- Wings.
- Has cute horns which disguised as hair. They’re move.
- Horny 24/7.
- Horny blushing.
- Pouts.
- Throws tantrum.
- Hates the dog.
- Hates flowers.
- Hates everything especially himself.
- More evil than any demons.
- Has more affinity to blood than any vampires.
- Creep-mode Daisuke Hirakawa.
- Even his breathing is like erotic gasping.
- Something’s wrong with this kid. Many things.
- Someone hug him.
- Or stab him. He’ll love it too.


- You can fuck the dog, I know it from the very start.
- But he’s cute, dog or not, so it’s fine.
- This pomeranian watches hell’s door. The demons are hot. What kind of hell is this.
- The most evil of all probably.
- Creates clones with shitty facial expressions.
- Those unlockable characters you can date after you beat the other’s endings.
- Probably has the most fucked-up bad endings available. Bonus point if they’re two.
- Suzuki Tatsuhisa’s sweet voice being yandere. Instant fangirls.
- He also gasps.
- Info dump.
- Groper.
- Jerk.
- No longer Rem’s pooch.


- Nice skirt.
- Cute.
- She’s the Grimoire I know it.
- Human being with a heart.
- Harry Potter in a girl form.
- The differences is that she’s kept being muggle.
- Some Not-human’s daughter probably.
- Her smell turns people on.
- “Rem-san.”
- Has more guts than most, but this is the world where it’s not a good thing.
- Poor girl.


- Pretty.
- Stalk her friend.
- Her life’s so hard.
- Lindo’s underling.
- Yet not as useful.
- Totally an exorcist because she’s hot.
- Lindo #2.
- Protective mama.
- Her life’s hard.

Final words: Somebody hold these dysfunctional creeps. They surely hates each other’s guts, so either it’s just a friendly banter among wolves by biting each other to death or they’re certified tsundere towards each other, how could they stay in the same room all day is beyond me. Also, how come those dorks are student councils also beyond me. I love this.

Special mention: I may or may not be looping the OSTs (I totally am), especially the ending and Eve of Revolution. Their voices are pretty. I cannot stop and I won’t.

To the girls who may date my little brother.

I bet you’re wondering the exact same thing
I did when I first met my little brother.
“Oh my fucking god, what a dork.”

No, no - I’m joking.ย 
I meant “how did I get so lucky?”

I can only tell you that it is a secretย 
recipe passed down through our family,
a code I will never decipher that canย 
make even the toughest men look like puppies.

I bet you’re thinking -
“gosh, he’s so sweet.”
“his dog is so nice.”
“thank god there’s no one out to get me.”

Au contraire. You forgot that there is me, sweetpea.

Yes, I may be a little stupid, a little short, a little too
little for everything, and yeah, my brother
may also be some of these things too, but this secret
recipe - that our grandmother has yet to write down -
also breeds unholy protectiveness.

My mother fought for our lives, my grandmotherย 
fought for our rights and I am the next generation
of fighting women.
I am the next one ready to push you down into the
ground to take a seat at the foot of the throne of hell
and I’ll say hello from my seat if you ever touch my baby brother.

I’m not threatening - I make bad jokes, puns when I look
at the moon - “no time like the crescent” - but I will not
I swear,
I will not joke about this.

The night my brother comes home, in tears or fear or
god forbid that anger he is known for, yes,
I promise you, I will try to understand. I will try to help
you both but if it comes out that you are the reason -
god save your soul.

if my brother comes home in tears, saying you made him
do things, you scared him, you did something that
would make even grown men shake in fear, I will not
hesitate to lace up my boots and stamp all over
your porch until you pay attention to what you did.

I will remain a pacifist until I have to drag you by your hair,
violent, I know, but I’m desperate,
but I will send you crawling along cobblestones,
scraping up the stairs and dropping at the end of this
tiring journey.

I will hear his screams when you terrify the living shit out of him,
because ‘double standards don’t exist’ for boys,ย 
with the ears that have remained open since his birthday, years ago.

I will feel his heart pulse under the palm I pressed
to his forehead when he had a fever, to his heart
when he was scared of the dark.ย 

I’ll feel his blood pick up, synonymous with my own,
when you make him skitter back like a frightenedย 
little child. He is not a child, and neither are you.

There is no big brother coming for you.
but there is me.

To the boys who might one day date my brother,
(or boys turned girls, or girls to boys, or they, or them, or whatever)

my mother hides a gun under her pillow.

—  OH MY GOD, WHAT A DORK // sophie green
Daisuga Week Day 6

Prompt: Old/New

Summary: Suga is ready for the date of his life, but Daichiโ€™s dinosaur of a car has different ideas.


Suga splashes cold water on his face for the fifth time that night, hoping that this attempt will actually wash away the nervousness pulling at his chest. It doesnโ€™t, and he sighs, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror.

โ€œYouโ€™ve got this, Koushi. Youโ€™re going to go out, youโ€™re going to have a good time, and you might even smooch a cute boy,โ€ he tells himself, checking again to make sure his collar is flat against the neck of his navy blue sweater and straightening his bow tie. His older sister had told him he looked like a clown with the tie and his red sneakers when he showed her his outfit, but his little sister insisted he looked cute, so he figures โ€˜ambiguous middle groundโ€™ is an okay place to be on the fashion scale.

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