even more weird anime shit why did i do this oh god my life

anonymous asked:

I am also a sucker for your top 10 worldbuilding posts so here's another one: top 10 times the media got some TMI on Victor and Yuuri's relationship (and does it include Victor drunkenly revealing they switch to tabloids and Chris' speech at the wedding about where they've done the nasty?)

The wedding was strictly family and friends only so Chris’ speech never got made public (Yuuri would have died if it did!) but there have been several incidents where the media learned a lot more about Viktor and Yuuri than they ever expected.

Top 10 Times The Media Got Some TMI On Victor and Yuuri’s Relationship:

10) Once - when Yuuri was competing in the Four Continents and Viktor was on the side-lines to cheer him on - during the warm up Yuuri was practicing his quad flip over and over to make sure he got it right while Viktor was doing an interview at the side of the rink and the reporter sort of offhandedly mentioned ‘oh, Katsuki has been doing jumps for a while now and he doesn’t even look tired, I guess it must be true that he has really good stamina’ and Viktor just went really dreamy eyed and said ‘yes’ while completely ignoring the interviewer and gazing at Yuuri. And the reporter and the camera man just ended up looking at each other like ‘should we finish the interview or just let him keep daydreaming about his sex life?’

9) During the season after the end of chapter 14 Viktor’s exhibition skate was the Stay Close To Me duet and afterwards one of the reporters asked Yuuri ‘were you ever concerned about doing the lifts during the routine? Were you sure Nikiforov was going to be able to hold your weight or were you worried he might drop you?’. And Yuuri was just like ‘No, I had faith in him and we already knew he could lift me up pretty easily anyway’ which he probably would have gotten away with if he hadn’t proceeded to go bright red afterwards when he realised what he’d said and everyone who watched it was like ‘we kind of really want to know but at the same time we probably really don’t.’

8) After Viktor finally retired he was doing a joint interview with Yuuri and one of the reporters asked him if he was concerned about maintaining his physical condition now that he wasn’t competing anymore because lots of athletes have a hard time adjusting once they stop such vigorous training regimes. And Viktor was just like, ‘I’m sure it won’t be a problem, I’ll still be getting some pretty intense regular exercise even if I’m not training anymore’ and winked at Yuuri and Yuuri started blushing really badly while all the reporters went into minor meltdowns

7) Once they ended up being caught by reporters a few days after Viktor’s birthday when they were out taking the dogs for a walk and it was mostly fine but one of the reporters asked Yuuri what he had given Viktor as a birthday present and they both went bright red and Yuuri sort of mumbled a hurried and fake sounding answer that probably wasn’t even in English and practically sprinted off. No-one ever found out exactly what Viktor’s ‘present’ was but there was a lot of speculation and the general consensus became that Yuuri Katsuki was probably a lot kinkier than anyone ever expected and Viktor Nikiforov was a very lucky guy.  

6) This one came in a series of tweets from a fan who was in an upmarket hotel bar which basically consisted of, ‘oh my god Viktor Nikiforov is in the same bar as I am what should I do?’ ‘He’s sitting alone do you think I should go and talk to him? Would it be weird to ask for his autograph?’ ‘I wonder why Katsuki isn’t with him, it’s the off season I thought they’d be together’ ‘Oh my god I just noticed he isn’t wearing his ring what does this mean?’ ‘He just started to talk to a guy who sat down next to him and he’s being really flirty oh my god.’ ‘Is Viktor Nikiforov having an affair????’ ‘Help, red alert I’ve just seen Viktor Nikiforov in a bar chatting up some random guy without his ring on what do I do?’ ‘Oh wait a minute the guy he was talking to just turned around and it turns out it was actually Katsuki after all. Panic over.’ ‘Wait a minute Katsuki isn’t wearing his ring either, they can’t have both lost them at the same time can they?’ ‘They’re acting really weirdly though and they’re dressed differently too I’m confused but I don’t want to interrupt’ *several minutes pause* ‘Well something I definitely didn’t expect to happen tonight was finding out that Katsuki and Nikiforov are apparently into role play but you learn something new every day.’

5) After being apart for a long time during the skating season they finally reunited at an airport and it was all very dramatic and Viktor ended up kissing Yuuri really passionately for a really long time. And when they broke away Yuuri was like ‘that reminded me of our first kiss, after the competition in Saitama.’ And Viktor was like ‘I did a lot more than just kiss you then solnyshko’ being all sly and flirty and then they both sort of froze as they realised that A) they were in a very public airport which is not a good place to be heavily flirting even if you have been apart for several months and B ) Several people were not so discreetly filming them. And that was how the world learned exactly when and where Viktor and Yuuri got it on for the first time.

4) During the four continents after they first got together Viktor ended up doing the thing in he did in the anime where he tied Yuuri’s laces and kissed his skates while being there to support him. And at that point their public relationship was still only a few months old so while the reaction was mainly positive there were still some assholes who were salty about the whole thing including one trashy tabloid reporter who cornered Yuuri after his skate who was obviously a die-hard Viktor fan and didn’t like him or their relationship at all. And while Yuuri is usually quiet and shy and likes to keep as much about their relationship private as he can because he doesn’t want the world butting in, he also is absolutely savage when he wants to be and after going through so much to finally get together with Viktor he is not willing to take any shit from anyone. So the reporter was being really bitchy and asking questions like ‘don’t you think it’s a bit degrading to make Viktor Nikiforov get down on his knees for you?’ and Yuuri just really calmly said ‘not really, he likes it too much’, smiled and walked away. The video clip of it happening has several million views.

3) At one point Viktor and Yuuri were on the beach at Hasetsu and Viktor took a picture of Yuuri in his boxers (they had forgotten their swimming stuff but got too hot and went to cool off in the sea) and nothing else while laughing on the beach. And while 99.9% of the comments were all along the lines of ‘goddamn’, ‘please step on me’ and ‘Yuuri Katsuki with his shirt off is a gift to humanity’ there were a couple off assholes who were commenting on the stretch marks on Yuuri’s thighs. Because he was a naturally chubby kid with a lot of puppy fat and went from that to a lean athletic teenager in a very short space of time so he has them although they’re not that noticeable. And Viktor doesn’t usually care when people are rude to him online because there are always a few shitty people out there but it really pisses him off when someone insults Yuuri. So when someone tweeted him like ‘you’re really hot, why do you bother with someone with ugly stretch marks like Katsuki?’ he responds with ‘I love every part of my boyfriend including his marks. I especially like to kiss them every night when his thighs are wrapped round my head.’ which pretty much shut all the haters up there and then. Yuuri hit him with a pillow for it afterwards but he was secretly kind of pleased.

2) The day after one of the major competitions Yuuri was giving an interview and the interviewer asked ‘now that the competition is over has the tiredness set in yet and are you ready to go home or are you still riding high on the adrenaline from last night?’ and Chris, who happened to be walking past at that moment, was just like ‘well he was certainly riding something last night but it wasn’t the adrenaline.’ Yuuri’s expression after he said it became a popular reaction picture for when someone looks like they physically want to die of embarrassment.

1) The incident I mentioned in a previous ask where a tipsy Viktor ends up getting interviewed by a tabloid reporter when his tongue is looser than usual so when she asks ‘are you the top or the bottom in your relationship’ aka the question everyone else wanted to ask but was way too polite and respectful to, he just winked and said ‘why pick just one.’ And that was how the world found out that Viktor and Yuuri switch.

Summer Anime 2016

This summer we have so many anime with an all-male cast, I was so happy I decided to to a rec/ranking/review/summary. Note: I only watch anime with mostly males I’m sorry it’s just what I like lol so this list may not match yours. (I cannot stand female leads - except maybe Gintama? - because they will escalate into romantic relationships and they annoy me to no end. It’s like the only purpose of females is romance and I hate that.) And a warning is that I’m kind of shallow so I normally look at the guys’ looks and then their character. But good character and relationship developments are definitely essential to me too.

1. Fukigen na Mononokean

I’ve rec it so many times I feel like I’m part of the official publicity comm but it’s really good :) My favourite character is Abeno cause he’s really adorable and tsundere (?) haha. If you like youkai, friendship and touching moments, do try this out!! It’s a little similar to Natsume Yuujinchou too.

2. Servamp

It looks really interesting so I watched it and when I saw the OP I screamed cause all-male cast! Compared to Spring 2016 this season does look more appealing to me. And I’ve ran out of anime with all bromance (other than sports anime) and no romance. So anyway for Servamp, Kuro was a really cute cat, and the setting seems interesting enough for me to chase. I feel like I might not like the main character as much though but we’ll see. 

3. Fudanshi Kokou Seikatsu

Ahh this is really cute I can relate so much to the main character as a Fujoshi myself :D and I can hardly find friends who can fangirl with me. It’s really sad to be embarrassed for liking gay ships ;n; The only bad thing about the series is that it’s too short each episode haha.

4. D.Gray-man Hallow

I’ve read the manga but didn’t understand most of it. Still, it’s likeable and I like Allen and Kanda. I felt like this season they beautified all the characters and Kanda definitely looks better with his new hairstyle/fringe :DD I hope they can animate most of the manga and I hope we can finally understand what is going on with the 14th.

5. Handa-kun

I just watched the 1st episode today and all I can is that it’s really good and hilarious omg. Only it’s too short with the first 9min trying to break the fourth wall and I couldn’t understand the humor at all. Still, the rest of the episode was worth it! Can’t wait for the rest!

Keep reading

game grumps ask meme.

“Dude, just… just pity laugh, at least!”
“I don’t wanna kill anybody, I’m a pacifist. Ooops, killed six people.”
“Six is the number of Def Leppard members, almost.”
“Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke.”
“Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so?”
“Remember kids, if you wanna defeat the evil power, you better fucking find the nearest sharpest sword and run as fast as you can.”
“I don’t judge you when you steal children, so I’ll thank you to show me that same courtesy.”
“Having a great time being in immeasurable pain.”
“Yes, have you ever heard of brapnel? That’s baby shrapnel.”
“Wait, mechanical bird is plane. I just realized.”
“Crazy how dead you are, I mean like, wow.”
“I didn’t have any problem at all after I died twice.”
“Such a nice man we ripped off there.”
“I’ll never put on pants.”
“Checkers would be better with badgers.”
“HEY LADIES. I’M TOM JONES. LEADER OF THE TOM JONES CULT. MY NAME’S TOM JONES. GIMME THIRTY APPLES. …TWENTY-FIVE APPLES”
“She’s adorable! Until she turns into a hideous undead monster creature, then ya gotta hit her with the lead pipe.”
“Stop dancing at me!”
“I have some very important masturbating to do.”
“You make me have to pee, always.”
“Whales are just Earth’s way of taking a shit.”
“I like it when Luigi’s happy. It makes me smile.”
“You know when you get high, and you start floating five feet off the ground, and gain a Spanish accent?”
“Whenever you talk about being high, it always just shows how much you’ve clearly never gotten high before.”
“Dude, what if hell was up?!”
“I will raise that chicken as if it were my own daughter… who I turned into chicken fingers.”
“‘Becky with the good hair’ sounds too much like ‘caramel corn’?”
“I! WANT! MURDER!”
“Even 90s rock won’t make me feel good about this!”
“This might be the drugs talking, but I love drugs.”
“That’s one boopity you shouldn’t have shmoopled.”
“Am I nude right now?”
“It’d be weird to sleep amongst your dead friends.”
“Are you here to repent for your chins?”
“Why am I not eating ice cream for every meal?”
“This taxi is bae.”
“The world is full of magic. Horrible, horrible magic.”
“Jesus is my drug.”
“I don’t know anything about memes.”
“You would say that, no matter what, me from another dimension that runs a porn ring.”
“I’m a milk-based life form.”
“I fucked a cantaloupe once.”
“Awww babe, look at us, we have our own cam girl operation.”
“Everyone who works for us gradually becomes more gay in their interactions because… we are always getting… weirdly gay with each other.”
“Shut up, ya tweezer!”
“And Half-Life 3, I don’t know anything about Half-Life 3, other than that everyone says it’s confirmed.”
“Good thing you’ve got fingers and wrists of steel, from that straight jacking.”
“I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.”
“Hi, I’m a musician with a huge penis. Do you know where I can find guitars and Magnum condoms?”
“Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.”
“Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.”
“We’ve broken several laws.”
“What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!”
“I’M READY TO BREED!”
“‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’”
“These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’”
“As I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.”
“When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?”
“If there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.”
“Just get abducted! We are your saviors, we’re flying in the sky- treat us as your new gods.”
“If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst!”
“Water is just… air juice.”
“Uh… Doctor, could you put tits on my thumbs?”
“We hang out… we touch each other…”
“Does anyone have a paper bag I can hyperventilate into?”
“2016 is the year of the butt.”
“If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else.”
“You make another joke like that, and I’m gonna have to beat you to death with your own shoes.”
“Whoa, look at this trapezoid-headed Funyon ring!”
“I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.”
“He died as he lived: covered in mayonnaise.”
“Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.”
“What took you so long, you butt plug?!”
“Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’”
“Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.””
“As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.”
“Like I would kill a friend… without watching.”
“With your Phd and my also being here, we can solve any problem.”
“I love watching you guys suffer.”
“Man, the void of nothingness is kinda lame.”
“Sometimes you gotta take time and smell the roses. And sometimes you’re gonna be a guy jacking yourself off while you’re rubbing a girl in a video game.”
“I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian.”
“Oh my god, do we have to kill him while he’s asleep?”
“I feel dead inside, but at least I had pie.”
“This is nice. We’re all bathing in the warm glow of murder.”
“The tears are bittersweet but the pie is delicious.”
“Murder is a spectator sport.”
“Today’s been a day. A day full of tasty, tasty murder.”
“Man, I wish anime was human history.”
“99 red balloons… Something- something- German song.”
“If you wanna have sex you don’t have to make a little song about it, like just come right out and ask.”
“If only I could have sex with my own brain. That would be a mind-fuck.”
“I am not nature. I am nurture.”
“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if they died?”
“Tell me what you’re gonna do to me.”
“Taco Bell cures diabetes.”
“Rule number one of babysitting? DON’T STEP ON THE BABY!”
“Play for my amusement, child.”
“How does a ghost enter a skeleton? And I don’t mean that in a sexy way.”
“You’re locked the closet with the dildo!”
“Yeah, I’ve been drunk on pot before. What of it?”
“You are the worst son ever.”
“Shut up, this is my moment of time shine!”
“Bro, can I be honest with you guys right now? I love defiling things.”
“I wanna touch everything with my boner, including my boner!”
“When you’re married, you can announce your boners everywhere.”
“I am enjoying my pot! Take that out of context.”
“Dude, what if you were next to a supernova when it supernovaed?”
“…and she’s like COVERED in butter.”
“I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified.”
“What are the animals crossing, exactly?”
“I’m a firm believer in ‘if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly.’”
“And you know what? We’re tied right now, like brothers… only one brother is significantly smarter and more handsome than the other and has like 15 years more life experience.”
“Frick to the 30th power!”
“My eyebrows are slippery and slimy. I grease them.”
“This is literally just elementary hydrodynamics, I can’t believe you can’t grasp this.”
“Well look the important thing that I’m having fun and other people aren’t.”
“I would fuck everything on the screen including the animals and the bicycle.”
“How dare you know stuff about things. I’m gonna beat you up with my fists… that are made of stuff and things.”
“Spyyyder Loops™ cereal…. made with… spiders.”
“I’m a bottom kind of guy.”
“Can you see my labia in this fucking costume?”
“Just bros bein’ bros…”
“I never feel quite as alone as I do when I play Burger Time.”
“If you do this… I’m gonna be mildly impressed with you.”
“I don’t know how to be interesting, could you give me advice?”
“I BIRTHED YOU FROM MY BRAIN VAGINA.”
“I’m kind of amazing at everything I do.”
“I’LL FUCKING STAB YOUR PARENTS!”
“I would get a photo-realistic tattoo of your face on my inner thigh.”
“Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?!”
“Follow your stupid fucking dreams.”
“Everyone does crack at some point in their lives. It’s pretty much a rite of passage.”
“I wanna know where Luigi is!”
“Nothin’ wrong with that. Get clean, get clean with the lord.”
“You’re on page 2, and I’m on page…uh, furiously concentrating on not throwing up from this Nutella situation.”
“I wish you could jump inside my skin and know what I know, and feel what I feel.”
“I’m feeling fly for a caucasian man.”
“I will actually strangle you with my bare hands and feet.”
“Don’t call me “bro” in an accusatory tone!”
“This is a good yiff right here.”
“My friends! I love killing my friends.”
“Now I am the one who is bitch.”
“He died as he lived: eating chicken McNuggets.”
“Well, thank you so much, that’s so nice of you to say, but I don’t believe you and you’re a liar.”
“DIE! DIE YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!”
“I could tell by his briefly angry eyebrows that he’s someone we should be stabbing.”
“A blunt is a maridujuana.”
“If you can’t beat em, Shoot ‘em with a gun!”
“Getting kicked in the nuts is not an event, it’s a process.”
“My goal is to pee in every major body of water on earth.”
“Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird.”
“Aw jimminey-jillakers. Gee-whiz Batman. Aw frick. Oh jeezum.”
“And you have ten thousand and seven hundred grams of mardujuana.”
“My style is old, nasty t-shirt and rapidly disintegrating pants.”
“If you ever run into me in the wild, we’ll hug it out.”
“I think the noodles are going to kill me!”
“I’m sorry, your son is an anthropomorphic cheese melt.”
“Wait, but, also shut up.”

HEADS UP MOTHER FUCKERS CAUSE THIS IS A FUCKING APPRECIATION POST

TODAY I’MMA TELL YOU ABOUT SOMEBODY NOBODY CARES ABOUT. NOT EVEN CAPCOM. NOT EVEN ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS IN A GAME WE’RE PROBABLY NEVER GONNA GET BECAUSE JAPAN DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US.

(i.e., This game. This game right here. See him? That’s right, you DON’T. BECAUSE HE AIN’T EVEN THERE.)

SEE THIS DETERMINED FELLA? HIS NAME IS SATORU HOSONAGA AND HE IS THE MOST UNDERRATED LITTLE SHIT IN THE ENTIRE DAMN SERIES (and no, I’m not biased at all-DON’T LOOK AT MY USERNAME). HE DESERVES EVERYTHING NICE IN THE WORLD. WANNA KNOW WHY?

Is it because he’s dying a slow and painful and completely-preventable-in-the-21st-century death?

THAT TOO. BUT THAT DOES NOT GET THIS GUY DOWN. HE KEEPS ON TRUCKIN LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER.

LOOK AT THIS MAN. LOOK AT THAT SMILE. YOU’RE PROBABLY ALL LIKE, “BUT JAAAAY, WHY’S HE ALL BEAT UP?” AND I’MMA TELL YOU SO SIT YO ASS THE FUCK DOWN.

SO WHEN WE FIRST MEET THIS GUY, IT’S BECAUSE HE’S A WAITER AT THIS RITZY ASS RESTAURANT WHERE A GUY GOT MURDERED. AND NOW THE DEFENDANT IS THIS NERD.

HE’S THE PROTAGONIST, EVERYBODY WHO PLAYS THE GAME KNOWS HIM AND LOVES HIM, YADDA YADDA YADDA. I CAN’T BLAME THEM. HE’S AN ADORABLE LIL FUCKER. 

BUT YEAH. THEY DRAG IN THE WAITER AS A WITNESS AND PRETTY MUCH RIGHT AWAY YOU NOTICE THERE’S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS GUY. 

AND WHAT DOES HE SAY? 

“Oh, this is completely normal for me. There is no issue at all.”

WHAT THE FUCK. WHO SAYS THAT. THAT IS NOT NORMAL.

THINGS ONLY GET HARDER FOR THIS GUY BECAUSE AS THE TRIAL GOES ON, YOU FIGURE OUT THERE’S SOMETHING ELSE OFF ABOUT HIM THAT HE’S HIDING. AND YOU’RE LIKE, ‘HOLY SHIT, IS THIS GUY THE ONE WHO DID IT, ‘CAUSE HE’S ACTIN MIGHTY SKETCHY.’

(I mean, look. He even does the Anime Villain Glasses Thing™ ).

WELL YOU’RE WRONG, YOU.

TURNS OUT HE’S NOT JUST ANY WAITER AT A FANCY PANTS RESTAURANT, HE’S AN UNDERCOVER DETECTIVE POSING AS A WAITER AT A FANCY PANTS RESTAURANT. 

(”In order to investigate [the thing he was investigating, duh], I had taken on the appearance of a waiter and infiltrated the establishment.”)

(n.b., He loves saying he’s ‘infiltrated’ places. Nerd.)

THE REASON HE DIDN’T REVEAL THAT SHIT RIGHT AWAY WAS BECAUSE HE’S UNDER PRESSURE FROM BOTH THE JAPANESE AND THE BRITISH GOVERNMENTS TO KEEP THINGS UNDER WRAPS BECAUSE THE GUY WHO WAS MURDERED WAS A BRITISH PROFESSOR AND THEY DIDN’T WANT THIS TO CAUSE ANY CONFLICT BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES. ALL THAT PRESSURE ON THIS POOR GUY WHO WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY ALL THESE RICH PEOPLE SAID THEY GOT ROBBED AT THIS RESTAURANT.

BUT IT GETS BETTER.

THIS GUY, THIS FUCKER, HE KNOWS THE INVESTIGATION SYSTEM IN JAPAN IS FUCKED. FUCKED. SO HE’S TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO PERFECT IT LIKE THE DWEEB HE IS. HOW DOES HE DO THIS, YOU ASK? BY STEALING SHIT FROM THE CRIME SCENE TO PRESERVE IT. HE LITERALLY COMMITS CRIMES WITH THE INTENT OF SOLVING OTHER CRIMES JIMINY CHRISTMAS WHAT A DORK.

SO LONG STORY SHORT THEY SOLVE THE CASE AND RYUU ISN’T A MURDERER, YAY, GO TEAM. 

(n.b., but not before some weird shit happens.)


                             BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE


SO OUR TWO LADS RYUU AND ASOUGI ARE ON THEIR MERRY WAY TO THE DANK ASS BRITISH EMPIRE WHEN (SPOILER ALERT) THIS HAPPENS

WHO’S TO BLAME, AGAIN? 

YOU GUESSED IT.

EARLY ON YOU SEE SOMEBODY IN THE BACKGROUND AND YOU’RE LIKE. NO WAY

IT’S HIM. AND HE SAD.

‘CAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE’S TO BLAME IN ALL THIS BECAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING ASOUGI FROM ACTUAL LITERAL ASSASSINS.

(Also, he’s ‘infiltrated’ the ship. Jeezum.)

SO HE’S UPSET WITH HIMSELF AND HE DECIDES IT’S ON HIM TO MAKE IT UP TO RYUU BECAUSE WELL HE KINDA GOT ACCUSED OF MURDER HERE AND OUR DETECTIVE FRIEND JUST KINDA. KNOWS IT WASN’T HIM AND BELIEVES IN HIM AND IT MAKES ME REALLY EMOTIONAL.

RYUU AND OUR OTHER LAD SUSATO NEED TO INVESTIGATE THE NEXT ROOM OVER. BUT THEY DON’T HAVE PERMISSION TO DO THAT. SO HE DECIDES HE’S GONNA PERSUADE THE CAPTAIN TO LET THEM INTO THAT ROOM AND HE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW HE’S GONNA PUT HIS LIFE ON THE LINE AND YOU’RE LIKE ‘PLEASE, MY GUY, DON’T BE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.’

BUT THEN HE SHOWS UP LIKE THIS LATER.

(“This is a scratch,” he says. A FUCKING SCRATCH.)

APPARENTLY A BUNCH OF ANGRY RUSSIAN SAILORS DECIDED THEY WERE GONNA BEAT HIM UP AND THEN THROW HIM OFF THE BOAT JUST FOR. Y’KNOW. EXISTING. I DUNNO WHAT CHANGED THEIR MINDS ABOUT THROWING HIM OVERBOARD BUT LET’S NOT LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.

(n.b., this is what the sailors look like.)

THE THING IS, HE’S STILL READY TO DO STUFF. HE’S FUCKING RARING TO GO BECAUSE HE’S A GODDAMN CHAMP. HONESTLY. YOU WILL NOT FIND SOMEBODY MORE DETERMINED THAN THIS GUY. NOT EVEN IN UNDERTALE. 

AGAIN, THE CASE IS EVENTUALLY SOLVED, NO ONE’S HAPPY BUT AT LEAST THEY KNOW WHODUNIT. THE THING IS, THERE’S A QUESTION: NOW THAT ASOUGI’S DEAD, WHO THE FUCK IS GONNA GO TO BRITAIN? RYUU WAS A STOWAWAY, AND HE’S NOT A LAW STUDENT. AND THAT WAS KINDA THE SETUP, THAT JAPAN WAS GONNA SEND A LAW STUDENT AND A LEGAL ASSISTANT THERE TO, Y’KNOW, STUDY LAW. AND THEN RYUU IS ALL LIKE ‘WHAT IF I GO INSTEAD’ AND WHAT IS THIS MOTHER FUCKER’S FIRST REACTION?

HE JUST RUNS OFF TO TALK TO THE CAPTAIN ABOUT LETTING HIM GO.

EVEN AFTER WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME HE TRIED TO ASK THE CAPTAIN FOR ANYTHING. HE’S JUST GONNA FUCKING DO IT.

Disclaimer: that isn’t his first reaction. His first reaction goes more like this:

(At least in the translation) He calls it codswallop. I’m not even making that up.

AND THAT’S THE LAST WE SEE OF OUR FRIEND. HE DISAPPEARS TO GO TALK TO THE CAPTAIN ABOUT GETTING THE TWO OF THEM TO BRITAIN AND THEN HE’S GONE. LIKE. FOREVER. HE’S JUST FORGOTTEN ABOUT.

HE LITERALLY GOT THEM TO BRITAIN HIMSELF BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE NEEDED TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING THERE TO PROTECT ASOUGI. AND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS. AND THAT’S WHY I’M MAKING THIS POST. BECAUSE I’M ONE ANGRY MOTHER FUCKER AT THE GAME FOR FORGETTING HIM LIKE THIS WHEN HE’S THE HERO OF THE ENTIRE DAMN THING.

THAT IS ALL THANK YOU HAVE ONE LAST PICTURE BECAUSE JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE

(n.b., Thanks to this lovely person I was able to understand the game at all since I don’t know a lick of Japanese (written, anyway). You should all watch the game because GOD BLESS AMERICA IS IT GOOD.)

anonymous asked:

"To be quite frank, I could write a whole other post about how funny it would be for Saeran to flip-flop between trying to convince you that you’re a good person, denying that he likes you, and then also getting mad that you can beat him in a fight while trying to challenge you to duels and pissing-contest-esque debates of who can do cooler shit, all the while living with you." ...If you could you totally should just sayin

just twist my arm why don’t you. This is a continuation of Saeran’s portion from this post.


An Ex-Hitman Smooches a Cultist: A Story of Lust, Love, and Wholly Unnecessary Violence Told in Four Acts.

Act 1: Fuck Off You Edgelord, That’s My Goddamn Pudding You’re Eating

  • It was your pudding, and seeing Saeran chowing down on it was pretty much the last fucking straw.
  • To give some context into your relationship with Saeran, let us state three points. One, on that awful day where everything with Mint Eye exploded, you stopped Saeran from shooting V by oh-so-cleverly getting shot instead. Recovering from those injuries will take months and a decent amount of surgery, so you’re just generally irritable about not being in top form.
  • Two, you are now living in the ex-murderer edition of the Breakfast Club, since you, Vanderwood, and Saeran are all crashing at Seven’s place while he recovers emotionally from years of lies and betrayal and helps the lot of you evade your prior employers (and the law.)
  • Three, you are completely oblivious to Saeran’s huge crush on you, developed from a week straight of basically stalking you on the internet and from seeing your heroism at Mint Eye, and therefore you don’t understand why he is being So Fucking Weird about things.
  • Saeran is enormously erratic around you. He responds to the guilt of having shot you and his desperate desire to hold your hand by verbally belittling you, acting sulky and surly, and trying to prove he’s better than you at Everything On the Planet. This is unfortunate, because he is not in fact better than you at Everything On the Planet, but your skillset is a predominately active one that your doctors have banned you from engaging in. Even more unfortunately, you’re competitive as shit, so no, you’re not going to let him say that “oh, if you want your pudding back so bad, fight me for it” because god fucking damn it you’ve kicked this little shit’s ass you will do it again.
  • [Cue ambulance sirens.]
  • Is being sent to the hospital again only a week after being discharged a new personal best? Probably.
  • Anyway, Saeran shows up to visit you with flowers, saying that he didn’t want to but Seven made him. When you ask your pal Saeyoung why the fuck he made his idiot brother buy you flowers, you just get long series of question marks in return. That, in essence, characterizes the next few months of your life - spats of mockery and violence followed by weird gestures of affection from your local sweater wearing loser.
  • Like, for instance - the time he said your hair looked like a rats nest and maybe you should comb it sometime, you said that his hair looked like something out of Santa’s Workshop and maybe he should go back to the Christmas Elf Parade, and then the next day he got you a really pretty hair clip “so you can look less ugly” but, funnily enough, it was something you’d been fiddling with in the department store when you’d taken him clothes shopping.
  • Or the time that he was staring at you, and you were like the fuck is your problem, mate? and he just looks away and says you have a really ugly zit and he was just horrified. 
  • or the time when you were five shots into a bottle of whiskey and you started trashing yourself - god, you’re shit, you’re a garbage person why did you get to live when so many others died - and he grabs onto your hands. “you’re not a bad person,” he says, weirdly serious - and anxious, too, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. “you’re nice, and kind, and you help people like it’s no trouble to you at all.”
  • (you tell him that doesn’t make you a good person, and he tells you to shut up.)
  • Over time, you kind of… get used to him. Oh, you still argue over dumb shit - like who’s taste in television is better, who can get more kills in a shooter you both play, or in a sword-fight between the two of you, who would be the victor (spoiler alert: it’s you)
  • (cue ambulance sirens)
  • but there’s… other stuff, too. Deep, late night conversations where he talks about how angry he is all the time. Moments where he tells you about his nightmares, and you’re like get over here you dumb shit as you pull in into a hug. You talk about that filthy feeling the two of you share - of having killed, of knowing what you’re done - and you talk about what it’s like to…

  • …Not be loved. And how you both want to be better people.
  • In the morning, of course, you’re back to fighting… but when Saeran is about to break, it’s you he comes to, because you understand. And when you are falling into the pits of alcoholism and despair…
  • It’s Saeran who sits with you, says you’re not as bad as everyone else, he guesses, and runs his fingers through your hair.

(more under the cut!)

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Gifted Prisoners Group Chat Episode 3: Edgy Backstory Hell

yeah uh oops i forgot to submit it here bc this blog isnt active much,,, im gomen

enjoy this……..thing??

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mokoiiiiiii  asked:

19 and 44!! pls talk about chichiro

I’m sorry it takes 17,000 years for saku to reply m(_ _)m I have no chill and made a wall of text.

19. If you can relate to any of the characters, who is it and why?

I can relate on a level of mole placement, birthday and being an emo with Himuro Tatsuya. 

Just kidding, no one is as emo as Tatsuya.

44. Opinion about Mayuzumi Chihiro

Tsundere

*shot*

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I’ve debated whether or not to send this in for a while, since it happened so long ago, and I’ve mostly put it behind me.  But then I decided “screw it”—I’ve never really talked to anyone about it, and I figure that if anyone could relate, it would be you guys.  Sorry, this is pretty long. Names have been changed (though it was so long ago, it probably doesn’t matter anymore)

Just before fifth grade, my family had moved to a new school district (shortly after having moved from a different state).  I was painfully shy, and had social problems that made it difficult for me to talk to strangers.  Being the awkwardly tall and skinny girl with braces didn’t help, and I was quickly targeted by bullies.  I was pretty much without friends, until I met a girl who shall be called Misa.  She was kind of a goofy nerd, too, completely non-judgmental, and really nice.  We hit it off pretty well, and became best friends.  The bullying from other kids didn’t stop, but having one friend made it more bearable.  In time, a boy (Will) joined our group, and then another boy, Marlin.  Marlin was the weird kid, who wouldn’t talk to anyone, wore the same clothes every day, didn’t seem to bathe often, and spent most of his time in the library reading manga.  He was another prime bully-target, which was why we went out of our way to include him in our little group (most of us knew how it felt to be bullied, and it sucked).  The teachers encouraged our efforts, because apparently he came from a really neglectful/abusive home, and they were glad that he finally had some friends.

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K Missing Kings Final (Review)

( ´ ▽ ` )ノ !!!!!!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!! + long post

Usually I wouldn’t be doing this but I just have to!!!

First of all…. Few less people died than I expected.

Munakata, Sukuna, Yukari, Shiro all survived!! So for me it was basically reducing number of dead characters instead of adding, and I’m so so happy!!

At the very beginning we get to see Neko fighting the green clansmen. Like WOW our cute silly Neko-chan got some epic moves! \ ( * o * ) / 

Even Shiro was surprised and I’m just jealous like hell…. Can human even be that flexible?! 

Oh yes, the confrontation! Much to Nagare’s surprise, they finally reached him and slates. And yes, he keeps his cool literially welcoming them (/^▽^)/

But hey, first let’s get a glimpse at Kuroh’s and Yukari’s fight.This time would be different. No one is to stop Yukari and that equals someone will have to loose… Kuroh probably gonna get super strong from all motivation and seriousness and kill (please don’t, Jungle already lost 2 members…) defeat his senior…. or just the opposite, it’s Kuroh who loses to make it more dramatic. GORA wouldn’t do that to us, would they? (*/ω\*)

And there’s the Red Queen Kushina Anna. She has so much faith in Misaki… It gave me so many feels (。’▽’。)♡

Damn you Munakata!! Poor Seri-chan… She was so sad… How can you even ask that of her?! Of anyone?! You ain’t gonna die!!! No one is letting you cuz Shiro’s gonna save the day ╭( ・ㅂ・)و ̑̑

Yes! Thanks to our villain we finally we get a glimpse at his and Neko’s past! Just… how does he even know that? (‘◇’)? 

(.=^・ェ・^=) Nyann~~

Is it just me or is it an irony that the antagonist is questioning the protagonist about faith in humanity? ( ・◇・)?

(omg still can’t get over the fact Nagare is so pretty   (。♥‿♥。)

(.=^・ェ・^=) Neko shines again with her unexpected, emotional speech that would melt your heart. Even Nagare was sort off moved  reached by her words in some way. ω(=^・^=)ω 

But Neko, WE, FANS, CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT NEXT SEASON!!!!!!!! 

Shiro, thanks to Neko Neko, finally reached his conclusion as Silver King 

*saluting the silver king* c(>ω<)ゞ

Nagareeeeeee why why did you have to say that?! and with all that confidence?! Don’t you watch movies? They always die loose after saying these words!!! Baka Nagare!!! (I still love you)   They’re there to destroy slates which your life depends on…. 

Pff…. at this point his faith has been decided .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. 

Oh we get some pretty frame of Munakata (*^▽^*) 

Don’t you all underestimate the power of RED Clan ¡¡¡( •̀ ᴗ •́ )و!!! 

Anna is being a BADASS QUEEN (ง’̀-‘́)ง

Look!!!! Just LOOK at how beautiful these things are!!! (*’∀’人)♥

All kings gathered yet again! Most likely for the last time…..

Yes Munakata. Mikoto is still there, watching over his little princess queen “Burn Them…! 

 Burn Them…!

 Burn Them!!!”

Last glimpse on that beautiful Red (๑´╹‸╹`๑)

Surprise bitch!!! (just kidding, I still love you!)

That’s what you get for excluding ladies team (ノ>▽<。)ノ

Nagare Nagare Nagare, you keep feeling disappointed, yet keep underestimating the power of being the main character hihi 

“The path has been cleared!”

Oh yes, he WILL!!! (ノ・ェ・)ノ

“I can… and will surpass you!”

Guess who’s got some power-up! 

“In fields and mountains, Though our color may differ, We’re Ichigen’s seeds.”

Yay!!!! Yukari officially survived the final episode!!!! (ノ^ヮ^)ノ*:・゚✧

(told ya Kuro would win…)

Looks like he still got some attachement to Ichigen 

Awww…. and he’s going to find Sukuna too!!! (Could he be still alive? Probably…)

Silver Sword of Damocles is falling!!!!! NOOOoooo!!!!!! It’s so pretty… 

Close up look, and wow it’s HUGE!!!!!

Can I hug this giant thing? Why do I feel like hugging everyone and everything?!

again Seri’s butt in the spotlight

Kurosuke Appears and BLOCKS Nagare??? 

“How? Why?” I know right! I mean, villain or not, he’s a KING for God’s sake! Kuroh could hold him off for a moment, but completely? I’m not buying that…. 

The memories…. 

(somehow got me feels I’ve gotta appreciate family more…)

Nagare finally gets it… Typically when it’s already point of no return… (ノ#-_-)ノ

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of slates… and Kings… and powers…and series….

Yes Baka Reisi!!! What else did you expect?! *hugs* ───==≡≡ΣΣ(> ^_^ )>

He was curious if she could slay him? I appreciate your efforts? Are you freaky kidding me?! How is this something to joke about? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“Your gratitude alone will not enough.”

“Huh?” (look at the precious kawaii face he just made!! I swear can he be even more adorable?) ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

“ Forgive me.”  (Serves you right! and you know you deserve it)

Nagare-chaaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!!!! ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

at least he’s smiling… not sure how’s that supposed to make me feel better… 

Guess who’s NOT DEAD… Yet… Iwa-san aka Gray king suddenly appears.

He came all the way and in his condition just for Nagare,..  。゚・(>﹏<)・゚。

He even evacuated everyone… 

Still curious what he’s said at that last moment…  

Nagare, let me hug you you cute poor little baby!… is it weird to wanna hug a dead person, who’s technically been dead for years now? 

Did you see? Did you see? How Munakata was worried about Fushimi as he looked down there but Fushimi wasn’t in sight? (゜▽゜;)

Guess who made it back? Safe and sound (ノ^o^)ノ

btw… Slates were destroyed and powers were fading away anytime, WHAT IF, her powers disappeared right at this moment? Would they like get stuck or what? 「(゚ペ)

I would have been really disappointed if they didn’t give me a chance to look at my baby’s precious face for the last time ♡^▽^♡ I love Saru so so so much!!!

More screen-time for him and Misaki wouldn’t hurt…

“Mission cleared, sir…” 

Yes. That’s the face of relief!!! Happy Ending for Scepter 4 (*^▽^*)

Secretly wished for Fushimi to ask Reisi what’s happened to his face lol

he also didn’t pick up his glasses… does that mean that oh-so-deserved-awashima-punch broke it?

Wait what? Why are they crying? Why not thinking of possibility he may just go back to his original body? Nobody’s dying here!!

See, guy’s alive. And we still have no clue who he is. Did they even explain what has happened? Dude just lost like two years of his life you know!!

That’s the part you should start CRYING!! If you haven’t yet…

Yukari saying farewell to Nagare and Iwa san…. the simple speech and the flowers…. I am emotional mess right now… .・゜゜・(/。\)・゜゜・.

No, No don’t… 。:゚(;´∩`;)゚:。

really…. that face…. why… ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

Rest in Peace Nagare-chan… Iwa-san…  (๑◕︵◕๑)

srsly don’t just leave their bodies down there…

Munakata hanging out at Homra with Kusanagi 

Yukari stayed and is taking care of Sukuna and Baka Parrot 

KUSANAGI and AWASHIMA ARE DATING!!!!!

SARUMI back friends!!! (they better animate this shit for me!!!)

Anna and Sukuna? I wonder how that will turn out ;D

The last group pictures are so pretty…. 

HAPPY ENDING for HOMRA and SCEPTER 4, 

but what about Silver clan?

Neko transfered to school island, her “Relative” transfered too, as a teacher!!! Now who may that be….

No one but: Adolf K Weismann ( ^∇^)

Why, just why did he cut his hair? I mean, it’s not bad, pretty actually, but long was so fabulous and vampire like~ 

Tell me, if that’s not a happy ending?? ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

I am, I really am satisfied. The ending was perfect. Deep down my consciousness still anticipates new episode next week haha oh God, I have no Idea what I will do next week… right gotta study for exams   

It would be nice if they did animate the novels as some Special episode or movie or at least OVA of the after story,  That would be great to see SARUMI’s past animated…

Anyway…. Watched episode 3 times so now can have a peace of mind.

Bye bye the best handsome-guys-only anime of the year~~

Post turned out REALLY LONG… Sorry not sorry 

random Genderfluid!Dan hc (some of these hc apply to just cis boy dan too tbh but yeah hEADCANONS) these are all over the place so yeah, keep that in mind.

- poking himself in the eye a million times when learning how to do eyeliner
- LACE SO MUCH LACE AND PRETTY LINGERIE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
- also that pretty transparenty clothing where you can sort of see skin (he loves it bc he knows he looks hot af and it drives phil mad)
- ALSO large cute sweaters that like the ones he wears now (w paws omg please) and above the knee stockings and lingerie (imagine phil coming home to that yes please)
- dan loves painting his nails. sometimes it’ll just be black but he’s a pretty artistic person (as well as a perfectionist) so he’ll probably want to do designs sometimes and phil loves how into it he is so he learns how to paint (solid color only) nails and sometimes indulges dan and lets the boy paint his as well and he ends up liking the pretty colors (he sometimes wants to do crazy colors though and dan’s like oh god no what have i done)
- this leads to them having a v large nail polish collection
- EYELINER AND BLACK NAIL POLISH PLEASE I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE
- some days when he feels like a boy he’ll wear ‘’’’’boy’’’’’’ clothes (what he wears now irl) but sometimes he’ll be a boy and still wear skirts and do his makeup and some people are assholes and call him out on it saying why he calls himself a boy when he’s dressing like a girl would but phil is just like fuck that fucking piece of shit and defends dan to no end and tells him he’s a beautiful boy and everything’s ok again
- sometimes the same thing happens but vice versa (dan is a girl and she wears what would usually be called boy clothes and phil is rlly just super protective)
- phil is really just very protective over dan and takes no bullshit he will kill whoever makes his dan feel bad
- v pretty dresses (omg backless dresses yes????? fuck yes) and cute skirts (and this is just gr8 for phil bc he loves his legs)
- phil uses dan’s chosen dan of the day as much as he can without sounding weird (like breaking it like he did with orange) bc he knows how good and happy it makes the other feel
- they start the day w phil making coffee for them and dan preparing the anime and phil always asks ‘how’re you feeling, love?’ or something like that and if dan replies normally he’s neutral that day and yeah they have things like that so phil can always know and address him properly
- dan’s super shy about correcting new people so sometimes phil has to butt in (once he knows that dan’s not opposed to them knowing bc while dan is in fact out, he doesn’t feel inclined to feel like he should tell every single person they meet unless he’s comfortable w that)
- at first phil made the mistake of telling people the correct pronouns and they’d fight about it bc he would do it without dan letting him know that he was comfortable w these people
- phil learned pretty quickly though and wouldn’t do it unless he knew one hundred percent dan was comfortable
- phil plays around w gender neutral dating partner names and always wants to make it rhyme and dan rolls his eyes at him but he’s secretly v happy and wonderstruck by his boyfriend’s dedication and love
- they do the ‘boyfriend does my make up’ tag and for the first time ever phil actually tries to do it right and he tries so so so hard but ofc he makes mistakes so he pouts and gets adorable frustrated and dan’s in hysterics but he still kissed the frown right off
- some times (before dan’s out) they have to go to public things and dan doesn’t feel like a guy but she needs to act normal and dress accordingly and phil can see her getting so frustrated and upset by people using the wrong pronouns so when that happens he comes up with an excuse or an illness or something so they can leave and dan’s sad that she “ruined” phil’s evening and she feels guilty about being relieved about leaving but it’s only for two seconds before they get home bc phil assures her everything’s perfect and he’d rather spend the night with her happily than uncomfortable and frustrated w everyone and he tells her to put on something she likes or get in her pjs and they cuddle while phil continues to waffle about what a beautiful girlfriend he has


trans-dan thIS IS EVERYTHING I HAVE WRITTEN IF YOU HAVE MORE FEEL FREE TO ADD

happy kent/snowy headcanons because i love these idiots so much

  • kent is constantly stealing snowy’s clothes and while snowy isn’t that much bigger than him, his clothes still fit different on kent bc snowy is very buff and his torso does the dorito thing so his shirts are a little loose on kent and kent’s hoe ass loves it
  • they can literally make each other laugh with one (1) look. it’s so infuriating and no one ever knows what they’re laughing about it’s terrible
    • they have a lot of inside jokes but they’re all stupid shit like “egg butt” and if one of them says the phrase they’re both doubled over in laughter for at least 10 minutes
  • constantly showing memes to each other
    • when they’re visiting each other they spend hours on their phones with the occasional “haha look at this post” “pft nice”
    • this is what they call “hanging out” and no one else gets it– “interact with each other! talk to each other!!” bitty rants at jack one night after a double date. jack doesn’t get it either. 
  • more hcs under the cut this is way too long aahhahha

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Yuri!!! on Ice Episode 10 (feat. my shameless fangirling)

Okay, since our crappy internet connection isn’t cooperating (and I can’t make any gifsets) with me again, I’m just gonna dump all my fangirling feels here. I need a fucking outlet for all the feels this episode had given me. I’M NOT SORRY

Brace yourselves, because this is going to be one long-ass post full of my nonsensical nonsense.

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katzedecradle  asked:

Hi, A newbie in durarara's world here ! Just simple questions; do you think izaya has god complex ? or a megalomaniac ? And what's your opinion about Shizuo's relationship with Izaya, is it pure hatred ? Or something like twisted unrequited love ?

Welcome to the fandom! I hope you enjoy your stay, and that you don’t cry too much!

I’m not sure if you’ve just watched the anime, or just read the manga, or LN, or everything combined, so I’ll come at this from all angles (since the anime leaves out HEAPS of Izaya’s character development and personality, because they leave out Tsukumoya Shinichi, the worlds greatest everything).

Disclaimer: I’m REALLY EXCITED THAT SOMEONE WANTS MY OPINIONS. Thank you so much for asking! I love this! <3

  • Do you think Izaya has god complex ? Or a megalomaniac ? 

I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I really don’t think that Izaya has a God Complex, and I don’t think that he’s a megalomaniac either. It really does look like he is (especially in the anime), but honestly, I think he’s just incredibly intelligent and bored.

He’s sort of like… a kid with a magnifying glass. He doesn’t have many friends (no conventional ones anyway), and he really is very smart. He knows that the one issue that people in Ikebukuro (and in general) have is their honesty, or lack of it. 

I was actually talking to @lemoninasin​ about this the other day. Honesty is Izaya’s Kryptonite. It’s why he can’t stand Shizuo, has issues with his sisters, and the few other people he’s unable to get a read on. Brutal honesty will thwart every plan of his, because humanity is supposed to be dishonest (most of the arcs could have been settled in under an episode if the characters had just been honest and open with each other).

But that’s off point. 

The thing that people need to remember about Izaya is that he loves humanity, and that he loves being human. He doesn’t believe himself to be a God, but an observer. Someone who is self aware enough to take a step away from humans to watch them, whilst also keeping his humanity in tact. Ah! Actually, the best way to describe it would be with an excerpt from Volume 9 (which I highly recommend reading (if you haven’t already) if you want to get a handle on Izaya, as the anime left heaps out about him).

  Orihara Izaya fell into deep thought.  

  Outside of the mosquito curtain. Isn’t that just an ideal place to be

  Mosquitoes outside the curtain cannot sting the humans sleeping inside it. 

  All I will do is make some annoying sounds when I flutter my wings.  

  Slowly, but persistently, until I drive the humans inside the curtain crazy.

Translation of DRRRx5 by anni-fiesta

There are a few other quotes I could put in, but they’d technically be spoilers and I think that this one describes him perfectly. He really is just a bored kid with a lot of potential, who has a really weird interest. He pokes and prods because he enjoys reactions, and honestly, truly, and deeply loves humanity.

More than that, he loves it when humanity defies his expectations. He doesn’t want to always be right, he just wants to watch. Sort of like someone making a documentary on bears. It’s always more fun to make discoveries than it is to witness what you already know about.

  • What’s your opinion about Shizuo’s relationship with Izaya, is it pure hatred ? Or something like twisted unrequited love ? 

-cracks knuckles-

I’ll try to come at this from a non-shipping angle, which is going to be really hard because I ship the shit out of this, but I’ll try!

Shizuo hates Izaya, and Izaya hates Shizuo. They aren’t rivals, they really do just hate each other.

Vorona, the Caucasian woman, asked in an even tone as she heard Shizuo’s words, “There exists a case about which I have been concerned since previously. Is the living being called Orihara Izaya a sworn enemy or something resembling the sort for Shizuo-sempai?”  

“No, Orihara Izaya is kind of like a flea. He’ll get close to you before you know it, and he’ll have sucked your blood when you realize that he’s here. He’s just a noxious insect like that, so make sure to never ever let him get close to you.”

Translation of DRRRx9 by anni-fiesta

(Also see this translation by @lemoninasin​ for the kenka CD)

BUT.

But but but.

I do think that they’re best friends.

Now, before anyone jumps on me because of this, I want to remind you all that the theme of DRRR!! is twisted love. Love can be romantic, but it can also be platonic. I don’t want to shove my ship down anyone’s throat, which is why I’m not going to talk about just how thirsty I think Izaya is for Shizuo. What I will instead say is that they are totally best friends.

Best friends who hate each other, but that still counts.

I don’t really have anything to back this up, nothing on hand anyway, so take what I say with a grain of salt (it’s only my opinion). Maybe I should dot point my reasons?

  • Izaya, who has no interest in anything for more than five minutes, has spent the last ten years annoying Shizuo.
  • Shizuo has, in canon, chosen not to beat/kill Izaya when he’s had the chance.
  • When talking about his friends (or about how Shinra mistreats his friends), Izaya will bring up Shizuo as if he’s speaking for him as well. 
  • They both look like they’re having fun, not just doing the chase thing out of spite or duty.

There’s more but that’s what I can think of off the top of my head. I actually do think, personally, that there is some love there. A lot of it, actually, but there are several reasons why it will never happen. 

There’s a lot of shame for both of them, as they’ve spent the last decade telling everyone they can (even strangers!) that they hate each other. On top of that, they’re both dudes. Japan does not look too kindly on homosexuality, despite the popularity of yaoi, and I honestly think that even if they are totally gay, they’d never admit it.

So, I sort of picture it like this. You’re a dude, you meet someone who seems to fit you, only you can’t have them. You try to kill each other repeatedly, and have fun doing it, but that’s… it. You can’t really do anything else, because society won’t allow it and you’re already ostracised as it is. You’re doomed to a life of pain, and you hate the person who makes you feel this way (a.k.a, the person you want to bang but cannot bang).

Even in SH (which comes after Volume 13 of the original LN, which is what Ketsu will be finishing with), Shizuo still thinks about Izaya, and in Sunset, Izaya still thinks about Shizuo. It’s really hard to read, and as more translations come out, the more my little shipping heart is going to break.

So, essentially, they’d hate each other even if they love each other. The jealousy they feel toward the other only amplifies all of those negative feelings as well, so it’s truly awful.

It’s a sad, depressing ship, one full of pain and suffering, but it’s still floating and that’s all that really matters. 

Oh! And there’s actually a great post by @zephyrsus​ that talks about Izaya being in unrequited love with Shizuo. There are spoilers for Ketsu in it, but if you’re okay with that then I totally recommend it. It’s this post here.

SO, BECAUSE I WROTE AN ESSAY (I tried to keep it short! I really did!), I’ll put the TL;DR here:

- Izaya doesn’t have a God Complex, he’s just curious. (as a buddy of mine @russianoshigotonin just summed up, “Izaya loves his puppets.”)

- Izaya and Shizuo are reluctant best friends at best, and in impossible love at worst. They’d both be so heavily in denial that they’d never make a move on the other. They’re destined for a life of agony, and that really breaks my heart.