even just sitting down you have to move with the music

A woman let her dog shit on the airport floor. So I shit on her plans.

While walking to my gate at LAX, I noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so I assumed she didn’t notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention.

“Excuse me, miss?” he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. “Your dog,” he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup.

The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed.

“Some people,” she bellowed to her face-time companion with no hint of irony, “are just so damned rude.”

When her dog finished, the woman started walking away, leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman tried to stop her.

“You’re not going to clean that up?” she asked, as shocked as the rest of us were.

“They have people for that,” the offender replied, disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling into their phone can disappear into a crowd.

I stood near the pile and warned people to walk around it while someone else got a maintenance worker’s attention. No one said anything – we were so shocked that anyone could be that horrible.

When I got to my gate, the woman was there, too. Great – we were both going to Tokyo. When I travel abroad, I get embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the floor of an airport. To make it worse, her dog was now barking at everyone who walked by.

I have nothing against people flying with their dogs, I do it often. But it is a privilege I take seriously. My dog is well-trained and behaves better than most people. He certainly behaves better than that a**hole.

Speaking of a**holes, there is a pet relief area inside LAX, past security, just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town. It didn’t matter - she was the type of person to litter three feet from an empty garbage can.

While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved from face-timing with no headphones to listening to music with no headphones. I don’t like to throw around the word “sociopath” but I don’t know how else I could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was. I’d bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child’s bike she hit without leaving a note.

Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else.

I sat down right next to the horrible woman. “Are you going to London on business?” I said.

“I’m going to Tokyo,” she responded gruffly, annoyed that I interrupted her DJing.

“Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London.”

I figured I could give her a little moment of panic as payback for how terribly she was treating everyone. I didn’t predict what would happen next. She grabbed her bags and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without even checking. She was so self-involved, she didn’t notice that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese.

Based on her actions, she believed me that the flight had been moved, so she’s also an asshole for not thanking me. “Some people,” I thought as I watched her rush away from the gate without stopping her, “are just so damned rude.”

The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were on the other side of the next terminal. And I felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C.

I don’t know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not, but I didn’t see her board and I don’t hear her dog. Her missing her flight was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day. Whoops.

Maybe she can re-book on another airline. I hear they have people for that.

Young

Note: HI HI! YAY I ACTUALLY GOT TO WRITE A REQUEST! (take that, writers block!) phew, this one was…wow. I hope you like it! FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!!!! ♥♥♥ .c

Request: Age gap kink! Where reader is significantly younger than Bucky(still legal obviously) daddy kink, reader gets off on him being older maybe calling reader little girl, if you decide a fem reader, jokingly Idk idk, I love your writing thank you for blessing my eyes with it

Originally posted by seredelgi


Being the youngest Avenger was fun for the most part. You were like the team baby, though you weren’t that young. Everyone just treated you like a little kid, but you didn’t mind. You just hated when they would tease you all the time.

Out of everyone, Bucky was definitely your favorite on the team if you had to choose. You warmed up to him rather quickly and you fell for him overtime. You knew he was much older than you, even if you didn’t really count the years he was frozen and an active assassin for HYDRA. There was no chance you’d ever land someone his age, but that didn’t stop you from daydreaming about him.


Natasha smiled as she walked into the room, her white teeth on display. You were brought out of your thoughts by her voice, the tv show you had playing was now background noise. “Y/N! Do you want to go out for drinks with us?” She asked excitedly, Tony joining her just after she asked.

Before you could answer, Tony shook his head. “No. Definitely not.” He said, making you frown. “But, I-” You started only to be silenced as he held up his hand. “Not old enough.” Tony said firmly, his signature “dad” look on his face. Nat rolled her eyes at the man and crossed her arms.

“That’s not fair! I could at least just go for the music!” You exclaimed, trying to reason with Tony. “Go where for what music?” Steve asked as he walked in the room with Bucky by his side.

“Drinks.” Tony answered with a sigh. “I don’t see the issue with her just going to chill out, Tony.” Nat said as she tried to persuade Tony into letting you go.

“Well, it isn’t really a scene for the young ones, Y/N.” Steve said, siding with Tony. You gasped and creased your eyebrows together. “Seriously!? I’m not that young!“ You shouted, getting rather angry with everyone. “I can kill people, but I can’t go to a club?” You snapped, looking at Tony.

Bucky was silent, not wanting to get on your bad side. “You aren’t going. I’ll have someone stay here with you.” Tony said as he checked his watch. You let out a high pitched squeal. “Now I have to have a baby sitter!?” You gaped at Tony, standing from your spot on the couch. Tony sighed. “Yes.” He simply said before leaving the room.

You groaned and fell back onto the couch, stuffing a pillow over your face. “I tried, Y/N.” Nat said sadly as she walked out. Steve joined her and you thought Bucky had too, until he cleared his throat. “I can stay if you want.” He said, sitting down beside you. You moved the pillow and set it down, looking over at Bucky. “You don’t have to.” You sighed.

He smiled and nudged your shoulder. “I want to. I’m not really into the whole nightclub scene.” Bucky explained, his arms crossing over his chest. Your eyes trailed along his muscles and you bit your lip. Maybe staying in wouldn’t be so bad after all. “Uh, yeah sure. That’d be cool.” You said softly, your mind racing with the thought of being alone with Bucky.


The team had finally left to go party and you were ready to start the movie you picked out for the night. You had quickly threw on a tank top with some yoga shorts, wanting to get more comfortable, while Bucky was in the kitchen getting ready to pop some popcorn.

“Are you almost done?” You asked with a smile. Bucky turned to face you and his eyes landed on your exposed legs. “Y-yeah! Um, do you want butter?” Bucky cleared his throat, averting his eyes away from your body. You smirked and walked over to him. “Do you want it?” You asked softly, crossing your arms.

Bucky raised his eyebrows, his eyes falling to your breasts. “W-what?” He asked, his wide eyes meeting yours. “Butter?” You giggled, tilting your head gently. Bucky gasped, “Oh! I don’t mind.” He said with a chuckle. You blushed a little, moving to get some out of the refrigerator.

After popping the popcorn, drizzling melted butter on it, and settling down on the couch, you started the movie. A few moments in, you reached for the bowl and your hand bumped into Bucky’s. You looked over and he smiled, letting you go first.

A giggle fell from your lips when you watched him get a handful, shoving it in his mouth. “You’re gonna choke.” You said with a smile, watching Bucky shake his head. 

“Nah.” He muffled through his food, only causing another loud giggle to sound through you. Bucky jokingly shushed you and you turned your attention back to the movie. You were stuffing your face with popcorn like Bucky had been doing, only because the scene before you was so thrilling. 

“No, don’t go in there!” You yelled out, sitting up in your seat. Bucky was watching you, but you didn’t notice. He chuckled softly as you gasped. “Don’t! No! He’s-WHY DID YOU GO IN THERE!” You shouted, throwing your hands up in the air.

The male screams coming from the movie only frustrated you more. “Idiot.” You pouted, stuffing more popcorn in your mouth. Bucky laughed harder and you turned to look at him. “Stop laughing, that was so bad.” You sighed with a frown. Bucky shook his head and moved the popcorn bowl from in between the two of you.

He scooted closer to you and smiled at you. Your heart started racing and you gulped nervously. “I’m not laughing at that, I’m laughing at the butter on your face.” Bucky chuckled. 

You gasped and your face turned red. “Oh, sorry.” You whispered, moving your hand to wipe it away. Before you could, Bucky’s right hand moved up to wipe it off with his thumb. Your breath hitched in your throat and he was about to pull his hand away, but you softly gripped his wrist. He stopped moving and watched you closely.

Keeping his hand in place, you leaned forward slowly, keeping your eyes on Bucky’s while his remained focused on your mouth. Your lips rubbed against his thumb and you opened your mouth, taking it in and sucking off the butter.

A gasp fell from Bucky’s lips as he watched you suck his thumb clean. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you pulled away with a pop. Bucky gulped and his eyes met yours. 

Winking at him, you turned back to the movie. Bucky cleared his throat and you knew that you had reeled him in. Sure, he’s way older than you, but it’s not like he stopped you while you sucked on his finger.

The movie continued and Bucky kept shifting in his seat, causing you to become distracted. “Are you okay?” You asked, looking over at him. Bucky nervously looked at you and nodded. “I-I’m fine. Excuse me.” He muttered before bolting off the couch and out of the room. You frowned, staring at his empty spot on the couch.

You paused the movie so he wouldn’t miss anything, but as the minutes ticked by, you were worried you had upset Bucky. You left the room and went to find him, hoping your thoughts were incorrect. Deciding you should check his room first, you took the elevator up and continued your search.

Bucky’s door was cracked open and you gently knocked on it before stepping inside. You could see Bucky sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. “Bucky?” You asked softly, walking inside of his room. His head shot up and his cheeks turned red. “H-hey.” He choked out, resting his hands on his thighs.

You walked closer and stood in front of him, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” You said softly, watching him closely. He sighed and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. “No, no. You didn’t, I just-you’re-” Bucky stumbled over his words. You nodded as you caught the hint.

“You think I’m too young.” You said with a sad scoff. You sighed and bit your lip. Bucky looked up at you and groaned. “Stop biting your lip, Y/N. Y-You drive me crazy when you do that.” Bucky said lowly, his eyes lifting to meet yours. Slowly releasing your lip, you creased your eyebrows. “I’ll just go.” You breathed before turning to leave Bucky’s room.

You felt his hand grasp onto your wrist, stopping you. “Don’t.” Bucky said, his voice laced with authority and dominance. It sent a shiver down your spine and you turned to face Bucky with wide eyes. He was breathing heavily and he swallowed thickly. “Dammit, I’m sorry. Y/N, you’re just-fuck it.” Bucky said before pulling you closer  to him.

You stumbled over your feet and Bucky pulled you onto his lap, your legs either side of his waist. He looked down at you and let his hands run over your thighs, squeezing you. 

Your heart was racing and you could feel the heat rising up your neck, reaching your cheeks. Bucky looked at you and you held onto his biceps, the muscles flexing as he moved his hands against your skin.

Bucky leaned in slowly, gauging your reaction for what was about to happen. When you didn’t pull away, he kept moving until he closed the space between your lips. 

You let out a soft moan into the kiss and your eyes fluttered shut as your hands moved to rest around Bucky’s neck. Letting your fingers rake through his hair, he groaned against your mouth as you tugged on his long locks. Your tongues danced together, his winning the dominance.

Pulling away for air, you leaned your forehead against Bucky’s. He chuckled deeply and you hummed. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” You whispered, pulling away to look into his eyes. Bucky licked his lips and nodded. “I was afraid you thought I was too old for you.” Bucky admitted, his hands moving under your tank top.

You let out a giggle, the sound making Bucky’s heart flutter. “I was afraid you thought I was too young.” You said softly, watching Bucky’s eyes land on the exposed skin of your stomach. The contrast between his hands made you shiver. “No way, I love it.” Bucky said, leaning in to press his lips to your neck.

You moaned softly and tilted your head to give him more access. His teeth nipped at your sweet spot and you let out a whimper. “Oh, Daddy.” You breathed out, your eyes widening at what you just said. Bucky stopped his movements, his lips ghosting over your skin, his warm breath causing goosebumps to cover your body.

Bucky pulled away from your neck and met your eyes. “What did you just call me?” Bucky asked, his chest rising up and down heavily. You gulped and blushed hard, biting your lip. “Daddy.” You whispered, hoping you didn’t offend him. Bucky growled and stood up, throwing you onto his bed.

You smiled as you bounced, only for the smile to fade as Bucky hovered above you. He gripped your wrists and held them above your head. You gasped as he ground his hips into yours. “Are you gonna be a good little girl for me, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his metal hand grasping both of your wrists as his flesh hand moved underneath your tank top.

He squeezed your breast and you whined, moving your hips against his, doing anything to soothe the ache in between your legs. “Yes, Bucky.” You breathed softly. Bucky pulled his hand away and shook his head. “No, you know what to call me.” Bucky said, kissing your collarbones. You licked your lips, loving how plump and wet his felt against your skin.

“Yes, Daddy.” You corrected yourself, hearing an appreciative groan from Bucky. “Good little girl.” He whispered, both of his hands moving to lift your tank top off of you. The cool air in the room made your nipples harden immediately and Bucky hummed before grasping your breasts in his hands. “You’re so beautiful.” Bucky whispered, leaning down to twirl his tongue around one of your nipples.

Your hand flew to his hair, tangling your fingers in it. “Daddy, please.” You whimpered, tugging on his hair. Bucky smirked and moved to your other breast, giving it the same attention. Your panties became wetter the more Bucky used his tongue on you, and you wanted so desperately to feel it on your pussy.

Bucky kissed his way down your torso, his fingers pulling down your shorts as he got closer to your core. He threw your shorts behind him and pressed his lips against your hip, his fingers softly rubbing down your clothed pussy. Your hips jerked at the contact and Bucky chuckled. “You’re so sensitive, baby.” Bucky said with a smile, his eyes meeting yours.

You blushed and bit your lip as you sat up on your elbows. Bucky kissed along your thighs as he pulled your panties down and off of you. He kissed his way back up and his eyebrows creased as he moaned at the sight of you. “This is the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Oh, Doll.” Bucky said as his fingers dug into your thighs.

He spread your legs further apart and your heart started to race again. Bucky leaned in and stuck his tongue out, licking along your pussy lips. You gasped and watched him closely. Applying more pressure, he teased your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Daddyyy.” You whined, lifting your hips up.

Bucky held your hips down with his metal arm and you huffed. “Be a good little girl.” Bucky scolded you, his eyes meeting yours. You nodded and watched as he leaned back down, licking from your entrance to your clit, circling his tongue around it. “Oh, fuck!” You squealed, falling down onto your back.

Your thighs threatened to close shut around Bucky’s head, only to be stopped by him. He sucked your clit into his mouth, the obscene noises only driving you crazier. Bucky’s tongue was so thick and long, and you could feel his smirk against you as he toyed with your pussy while you turned into a moaning mess beneath him.

You gasped as you felt one of Bucky’s fingers gently slide into you, curling against your g-spot. Your hands found their way into his hair once again, tugging as hard as you could. 

He growled, sending the vibrations right through you. Bucky pulled away and kissed your inner thigh, inserting another finger. “Cum, little girl. Cum for Daddy.” Bucky growled, pumping his fingers in and out of you faster, the wet noises filling the room.

Bucky leaned back down to capture your clit in his mouth and you felt your pussy clench around his long fingers. “Daddy, I’m gonna cum!” You screamed, arching your back and grinding your hips against Bucky’s face. His other hand reached up to grasp your breast and your legs shut around Bucky’s head as you started to cum.

You could hear and feel him moaning against you, his fingers and mouth not faltering in their movements. He rode out your orgasm and you tried to move away, but Bucky held you down even harder than before. 

Your breathing was heavy as you watched him continue making out with your pussy. His hair framed his face and his cheekbones were much more prominent as he sucked all around your pussy, his tongue delving in your lips. The sight of him looking up at you was all too much and you felt another orgasm fast approaching.

As you came down, Bucky stripped himself of his clothes. You smiled as he hovered above you and he pressed his lips to yours again. You looked in between your bodies and saw Bucky’s cock leaking pre-cum, the tip a bright red from him being so hard. It was thick and a tad longer than you would’ve imagined.

Bucky could sense your nervousness and he rubbed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You looked up at him and blushed. “We don’t have to.” Bucky said softly. You quickly shook your head. “Please, I want to…Daddy.” You whispered the last part and that was it for Bucky. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist, gently sliding into you.

You whimpered at the feeling of being stretched so much and Bucky was clearly trying his best to hold back until you adjusted to his size. Your legs tightened around Bucky’s waist and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Aren’t you, little girl?” Bucky cooed, resting his forehead against yours.

A moan fell from your lips as Bucky finally slid all the way in. Bucky’s head fell into the crook of your neck and you urged him to start moving. He pulled his hips back slowly and you bit your lip, the feeling of him sliding in and out of you clouding your mind. “You can go faster.” You breathed, digging your nails into Bucky’s back.

He groaned and started to pick up speed, reaching even deeper as he slid back inside of you. “Such a good little girl.” Bucky choked out, his lips pressing kisses all along your chest. You cried out, feeling his tip brush against your g-spot. “Oh, Daddy! Right there!” You gasped, wanting him to hit it again.

Bucky growled, looking down at you. You watched his face as he slid out and slammed back inside of you, your breath catching in your throat as you watched his face contort with pleasure. 

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he started to pound into you, harder and faster than before. “There?” Bucky asked with a smirk, his hips slamming into yours relentlessly.

You opened your eyes to look at Bucky again and let your eyes fall to his hips. You could see his thick cock glistening with wetness as he entered you and pulled out. 

Bucky moved away from you and sat on his knees, pulling your hips closer to him. His flesh hand rested on your lower belly as he thrust back in. “There I am, fucking shit.” Bucky groaned, his cock reaching so deep.

Bucky hovered above you again and pressed his lips to yours, his tongue licking your bottom lip. You moaned and let his tongue play with yours. You felt the familiar tingle of an orgasm approaching soon after. “Daddy, I’m close!” You squealed as Bucky kept fucking you, the headboard slamming against the wall. “Does Daddy’s little girl want to cum?“ Bucky rasped, his hands gripping the pillow beside your head.

You moaned even louder, tugging on Bucky’s hair tightly. “Oh, yes please!” You screamed, your pussy clenching around his cock again. “Look at me when you cum, Y/N.” Bucky moaned, his metal hand wrapping around your throat. He added a little pressure and that’s all it took for you to come undone beneath him.

Moans and squeals fell from your lips as your eyes struggled to focus on Bucky’s. “Oh, Daddy yes!” You moaned, gripping onto his arm. You could feel hot spurts of his cum shooting inside of you, coating your fucked walls. “Fuuuck!” Bucky growled, his thrusts deep and hard as he rode out his orgasm.

Your legs trembled around his waist and your pussy was so full, you could feel your mixed cum running down onto the bed beneath you. Bucky pulled out of you slowly and collapsed beside you, a chuckle leaving his lips. “Such a good little girl.” Bucky mumbled as he wrapped his arm over your waist.

You blushed again and turned to look at Bucky with a smile. “Yeah?” You asked shyly, biting your lip. Bucky nodded and kissed your cheek. “Mm, so good. Let me clean you up, okay?” Bucky said before leaving the bed and disappearing into his bathroom.

After Bucky cleaned you both up and changed his sheets, he gave you his shirt to put on while slipping on a clean pair of boxers. You yawned and got underneath his blankets, watching Bucky join you shortly after. He pulled you into his warm chest and you pressed a kiss to his neck. 

“Bucky?” You whispered after a few moments of silence. He looked down at you, his thumb tracing circles on your waist. “Yes, Y/N?” He asked, kissing your forehead. 

“So, I’m not too young for you?” You asked, nervously looking up at him. Bucky smiled and pulled you closer, draping your leg over his waist. “Definitely not. It’s a turn on for me, but I do like you a lot, Y/N.” Bucky said softly, his eyes on yours.

You smiled widely and leaned in to kiss him, your hand moving to rest in his hair. You could feel his cock twitch against your thigh and you giggled. “No way. Not yet.” You said, watching Bucky blush. “I know, I’m sorry.” He chuckled, pulling you in for another kiss.

Note: I seriously hope this doesn’t disappoint :( .c

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Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
PROPOSALS

▹ pairing: Jeongguk x reader
▹ words: 18,102 I’m so sorry 
▹ genre: smut, fluff, light angst, friends to lovers

You and Jeongguk propose at restaurants to get free food, but somewhere along the way you start to fall for him.


You never thought Jeongguk would actually take you up on the whole fake proposals thing. When you had suggested the idea to him, he’d just laughed and said “yeah”, then continued playing Fallout 4. You hadn’t actually meant it; the idea was one of those you vaguely imagine it happening, but not really, which is why when he brought it up weeks later suggesting you try it out, you thought he was kidding. 

He wasn’t, and this is how you end up in one of the city’s nicer restaurants on a fake date with your best friend. 

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27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

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FUTURE HEARTS | PT.6 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | pt6 | (6/?)

pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader

genre: smut, angst / punk!jikook

word count: 17,335

note: inspired by the anime/manga “Nana” / music playlist

description: It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.

cr.


The slight tremble in Jimin’s fingertips developed into a full-blown tremor as he closed the door to his studio, effectively leaving you behind — but it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that simple because he wasn’t just leaving you behind. He was leaving you behind with a guy that you were completely in love with… Which kind of blowed considering he was starting to fall for you himself.

The music from the party was reverberating inside of his chest and he knew that his ears should be ringing with anger, but instead he just felt numb. It was like he couldn’t hear anything; no music, no crowd, nothing. It was all one giant blur that didn’t seem to make sense to him, and all because his mind was screaming that nothing else mattered right now — nothing except for you.

Jimin knew very well what leaving you in that room with Jungkook meant. It meant every single feeling that the two of you had ever had for each other would inevitably rekindle, and compared to what Jimin had with you, even if he did consider it one of most amazing stints of time of his entire life, it didn’t hold a candle to what you and Jungkook had, and probably always would have.

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Too Soon - Jeff Atkins Imagine

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: Hi i was wondering if i could request 13 reasons why imagine where the reader and Jeff have been dating for a couple months or an year…maybe have smut like they made love and then where Jeff passes away and maybe have the reader visit the grave with clay and tony to tell Jeff..that he was a dad.

WARNINGS: Fluff, smut, small swearing


“Atkins!” I scream when I see my boyfriend in the hallway. I jump in his arms wrap my legs around his torso and kiss him as if I didn’t see him in months when in reality is was literally two periods ago. I’m cheesy like that. We’ve been dating for over a year now, but everyday feels like we started dating yesterday. He never seizes to amaze me. He surprises me with flowers and I still get anxious and excited like a little girl when we go out on dates. He still does things like climb through my window even though my parents basically forced a key on him. He even does things like come over at 2am when I joke about being scared. He’s just the best boyfriend in the world.

“Hey baby” he laughs as he kisses me back. “You ready to go”

“Yes, it’s Friday and I’ve never been happier” I slide my hand in his as we walk out the school building earning a ‘bye’ or ‘what up’ from people.

As we walked to my house, Jeff kept telling me corny jokes and pick-up lines he found online last night trying to make me laugh.

“Babe, knock knock?”

“Not another one J.”

“Baaabe knock knock, come on last one I promise.”

“You said that three jokes ago” I whine.

“Oh. Knock knock?”

“Who’s there?” I sigh.

“A broken pencil” he smiles.

“A broken pencil who” I sigh, already knowing the joke.

“Never mind it’s poin-”

“Pointless” I say as I laugh dramatically. He looks at me seriously for interrupting his corny joke. 

“Sorry baby, love you!” I try to kiss him the rest of the way home as he pretends to be mad at me.  

As we walk in, he stills pretend to be mad when he stomps into my room and close the door. He closes me out my room. My room.

“Babe really” I laugh.

“Do a knock knock joke then you can come in.”

“No”

“Yes”

“Noo babe”

“Well then I’m going to go take a nap”

“No!” I roll my eyes as if he can see it. “Fine babe…knock knock”

“Who’s there” he cooed.

“Al.” I smirk.

“Al who?” 

“Al strip for you if you open this door” I smirk biting my lip. As soon as I said that, the door swung open and I’m met with Jeff’s lips as he pulls me inside. He shuts the door and pushes me up against it. 

“No need to do that” he whispers in my ear. He starts kissing and sucking on my neck and pulls up the dress I’m wearing. He slides his hands under my underwear to my butt and pulls me to him.

“J-Jeff” I moan. He looks at me and bit his lip as he throws the dress off, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He scans my body as I turn my head, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He moves my head to face him and I see such admiration in his eyes.

“You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” When he said that I wanted nothing more than to feel him on me. I throw my arms around his neck and hungrily kiss him. He grabs my legs and I jump on him as he moves us to the bed. He hovers over me as he deepens the kiss. He puts his hand behind my neck to pull me closer to him. He rubs my thigh up and down as he slowly peppers kisses all over my neck and chest. He’s painfully teasing and I can’t take it.

“Jeff” I whisper.

“Yes y/n?”

“I need you” he looks at me and simply smiles.

He continues to kiss my neck as he unclasp my bra. He starts sucking my breast and massaging the other as I run my hands through his hair. He does the same to the other and I’m a moaning mess.

“Jeff please” I moan.

“We’re almost there baby” he whispers.

He kisses down my stomach and thigh slowly, never breaking his stare from me. I whine again as he comes back and goes back to sweetly kissing me. I groan from the friction of my almost bare core against his jeans and wiggle for him to get the idea. He does and pulls off his jeans and I hastily pull off his shirt.

“Someone is ready” he giggles. I roll my eyes and roughly palm his member through his boxers making him grunt.

“Someone is hard” I mimic smirking. He tries to keep his groans in until I full on grab him and he does a full moan. Now he’s the frantic one as he rips my underwear off of me. Literally.

“Jeff!” I scream.

“Sorry baby, I’ll get you another one” he smirks. He slides his hands all over my body, making me shiver.

“You like that?” he asks. I nod as he slips a finger in me and goes back to kissing. I  whimper from his touch and go for his underwear. I push them down and his member springs out. He kicks them off and slides two fingers in this time. I moan into his mouth as he goes at a fast pace. I let out more moans as I start to get close.

“Jeff baby, I’m abou-” when I said that, Jeff pulled his fingers away and I frown. 

“I want to feel you cum, not with my fingers” he smirks.

He grabs a condom out his wallet from his pocket and slide it on. He gives me a look for confirmation and I nod, just wanting to feel him already. He pushes his length into me. At first it hurt, but it always does when we have sex because of his huge size. The longer he’s in me, the more I get used to it. He pushes in slowly and draws out a little. I start to moan as I connect my lips with his. As he picks up his pace, I dig my nails into his back. He hooks my legs over his shoulder and I scream a little.

“Je-OH My fuck!” he’s directly hitting my g-spot and I can’t even think. I moan louder as I grab the pillow under my head, arching my back. 

“Fuck princess! you feel good” he moans. 

“H-harder J-Jeff!” He goes harder and I start almost full on screaming. As we both are climaxing, Jeff pulls out and puts me on all fours. He pushes back in and grabs my breast from behind. I lean back as he kisses my neck while pounding into me. He moans into my ear as I hold the back of his neck. I can’t control my moans and screams and neither can he. They come out louder as he hits the right spot over and over again. As we get closer, I fall onto my hands and Jeff holds my waist. He roughly rubs me with his fingers as I scream to let go of my release.

“J-JEFF!” I scream.

He cums shortly after I do and collapse next to me. We lay there in a comfortable silence while I rest my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. Both still out of breath, he looks over to me.

“Knock knock?”

“Who’s there” I laugh. 

“I love”

“I love who?” I say, letting him finish it this time for his sake.

“I love you” He smiles as he kisses me.

“My corny boyfriend” I laugh.


*Tomorrow Night*

“You guys have been inseparable all night my gosh” Jessica drunkenly laughs. Me and Jeff look at each other and chuckle, knowing exactly why. We have been at Jessica’s party for a while now and have been sitting on the couch with Jessica, Bryce, and Zach.

“Leave them alone babe, that’s how we are” Justin laughs.

“Oh, you get me flowers?” when Justin doesn’t answer, all of us start cracking up. 

“Well I’m going to get a beer, you guys want one?” Zach asks as he gets up. 

“Nah no thanks man, my girl will kill me cause I’m the driver tonight” I smile when he said that, happy that he cares about his well being. We continue talking to our group of friends and have a pretty good time.

“Where is Clay and Hannah” I whisper in his ear.

“Somewhere around here, probably upstairs, I did my meddling for the night and got them together.”

“Aw how noble of you” I giggle, pinching his cheeks. “Thank you ma’am”.

“See! look at them, they are perfect” Jessica playfully whines.

“Shut up!” Justin say as he grabs her face and start full on making out. Everyone starts ewing and shooing them off the couch.

“Get a room!”

“Jess, your room is upstairs!”

“Get it Foley!”

Justin flips us all off, never breaking their kiss and we all laugh. Monty taps Jeff on the shoulder and screams over the loud music.

“Yo bro you still doing the beer run!?”

Jeff got up and nodded his head, “Yeah shit I almost forgot”

I got up with him, frowning and grab his arm before he could go anywhere, “Babe do you have to go? I’m pretty sure there is enough beer, just not enough for every single person to get ass faced drunk.”

He kissed my forehead and smiled, “I’ll be right back babe I promise”. I pick up my bag and turn towards him, “Okay then I’m coming with you”.

“Baby, you have to watch out for Clay and Hannah remember, I’ll be back in 15 minutes then we can leave right after.”

I sigh still not liking this. I know he didn’t drink anything, but I’m still nervous for him to be out this late. What if someone else out there is drunk driving? I tell myself its fine and nod my head.

“Okay fine, just be careful J.”

“I will baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.” he gives me a peck on the lips and I hold onto his hand and let it slide out once he got to far to reach it. I watch him walk out the door and sit back down onto the couch, waiting for his return.


*4 Weeks Later*

Life is unfair. Life is so unfair. Why him? Why Jeff? Why my boyfriend. Such an amazing boyfriend. Is the best. Was the best. I stare down at his tombstone and couldn’t stop my tears from falling. So many tears. I found myself screaming at night. If I wasn’t screaming I was just silent. Completely silent. I mean was there for me to say? He’s gone. Jeff Atkins is gone. Never to hold me again, never to make me feel better, never to get me the flowers, never to throw rocks outside my window. I bend down and touch his stone. 

“I-I m-miss you so much” my voice cracks. “Why d-did you h-have to leave m-me?” I start crying harder. This is my first time being at his grave, due to the fear of seeing him. The fear of seeing reality of this situation. 

“Y-you would b-be so happy right now” I hiccup as I touch my stomach. I felt the little bump and smile through my tears.

“Y-you would have told him knock knock jokes” I laugh to myself, “or her”.

“Y-you would have t-taught baseball terms” I smile.

“You would h-have been the perfect dad” I cried looking down at him, “the best”.

I put the roses he always got me onto his grave and wiped my tears, even though they kept coming down. I kissed my finger and touched them against his stone that read 

Jeff Atkins

World’s greatest son 

world’s best companion

Even a better dad

Gone but never forgotten.

“I love you Jeff”I got up and continued crying as both Tony and Clay stood there respectfully and silent, waiting for me to finish. I smile lazily at them and hooked my arm into both of theirs as we walked out of the graveyard. I look back one more time and thought to myself ‘the love of my life might be gone, but he will forever live on in my heart’


A/N - Omgg!! I cried making this ending. It was so sad to me. I hope you guys liked it and love you guys for all your support. Your imagines are not forgotten.

exchanges (m)

Summary: In which Jeon Jungkook is that friendly neighborhood superhero, you’re the face in the hallway that saved his high school career, and he can’t ever seem to get a grip around you. Even when he makes you scream after a fated accident—not for the reason you may be thinking; get the thought out of your head! 
Pairing: Jungkook | Reader 
Genre: Fluff/Smut; Spiderman AU 
Word Count: 14,838
Author’s Note: Honestly though, it was only a matter of time before I got around to writing a story like this. I am obsessed with Spiderman, so this might just be the foundational guideline for many future Jungkook Spiderman AU drabbles to come in the future. 

The story was also heavily inspired by this photo that made me cry for seven days and seven nights. +photo credit !!!!!!!

.

(the present)

If Jeon Jungkook is against anything in his life, it’s one’s ability to exaggerate certain situations or problems to make those things seem much bigger than they probably were. Well, actually, take that back. It’s not that he’s against it per say, it’s just that his peer’s daily struggles of pop quizzes and missing the morning bus aren’t exactly headliner news—especially in comparison to what he has to go through.

Jeon Jungkook is against exaggeration, probably because he can’t get away with it himself. It’s not that he doesn’t like to exchange his fair share of embellished stories or fabricated events weaved into true experiences, it’s that he can’t afford to do so. Sharing stories of his nightly routines and dashing superhero adventures may seem great, but only if he could manage the burden of a personal life and a masked life intertwining.

As an 18-year-old boy, he can probably say it’s safe to assume that he cannot. Manage the overwhelming, opposite pressure both of his lives take him, that is. It’s difficult enough being a college freshman, a tiny fish in an ocean of whales and sharks, but throw in his late night Spiderman facade would be too much of a tale to share with other people and peers who probably ask too many questions and know too much about him. He’s never liked the exposure that comes with being in the spotlight, and he can’t hide behind his mask if people knew who he was.

Oh. Right. Speaking of his Spiderman facade, that’s who is he. Haven’t heard of him? You know, the dashing hero of Seoul, red and blue spandex attire with a web shooter, fine tuned senses and amazingly quick reflexes? The boy who swings around the city, volunteering for trouble and always coming out right on top? The boy who constantly maintains that casual, slightly amused tone throughout a majority of his rescues?

Yeah, well, that’s Jungkook.

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School AU Prompts

- “ I accidentally grabbed your notebook and I found a crap ton of gay writings/doodles and they’re amazing. Wait, are those combinations of our names all over the pages?” AU

- “I have no one to sit with at lunch so I sat at your table and now your friends are not-so subtly kicking you under the table. Now they’re very loudly whispering that your crush has shown up and oh my god. I have never seen you this red by the way.” AU

- “I’m much taller than you but you have the locker above my mine. Now I have to awkwardly crouch underneath you twice a day and I almost headbutted you in the crotch, I’m sorry.” AU

- “It’s the middle of a class but I had to go to the bathroom and I can hear you scream singing Broadway musicals from one of the stalls.“ AU

- “It’s finals week and you forgot you had a math exam today. Now you’re screaming into into your hands while laying on the ground and I’m laughing hysterically while trying to read equations to you.” AU

- “There is a lockdown drill that’s lasting a really long time so we’re stuck in a dark room crammed under a desk together. Wanna talk about our feelings now?” AU

- “I forgot my gym shirt and no one is letting me borrow theirs so can I have yours, even though it’s several sizes too large? Thanks, but you can stop telling me I look really cute in your clothing because I can’t stop blushing.” AU

- “Our teacher is really boring so I zoned out while accidentally staring at you. Now, instead of being mad you’re just making weirder and weirder poses until I realize what’s happening.” AU

- “I didn’t know that this desk I sat down at was yours so instead of telling me to move you just sat on my lap and started taking notes. Also, I kinda don’t want you to move because you’re really cute.” AU

- “The substitute legit doesn’t care about this class so we’re doing increasingly worse and weirder things to see if he calls us out. And now you’re basically straddling me while a group of kids is singing happy birthday and honestly this is the most romantic thing to ever happen to me.” AU

- “We were forced to go outside due to a fire drill and I forgot my jacket, which sucks because it’s super cold. Thanks for lending me this jacket but you’re my crush and I almost screamed when you gave it to me. Just know, you’re never getting this back.” AU

Jack Zimmermann was accustomed to dealing with difficult situations; he was captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team after all, but this? This was never in the job description.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Bitty whispered into the side of Jack’s neck, breath hot and sweet against his skin. The kegster ended a while ago but Bitty was still feeling the effects. When he fell off the coffee table attempting to dance to All the Single Ladies, Jack swept in ready to piggyback him to bed.

“Alright,” Jack said, mouthing I got this in Lardo’s direction before heading to the stairs.

“I don’t wanna be a single lady anymore,” His voice faltered and Jack became acutely aware of Bitty’s thighs around his hips. “I want a person. Everybody else has got a person.”

“With moves like that I don’t think you’ll have to wait long,” Jack said, supressing a chuckle.

“Mmhmm,” Bitty mumbled, fighting a losing war against sleep. Jack pushed open the door to Bitty’s room with his foot and ducked inside.

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Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♪♫ beautiful ♫♪.
In the year negative a billion, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative forty thousand, it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island, and now there’s lots of ♫ trees ♫. Because it’s warmer.
So now there’s people on the island; they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls.
Ding dong, it’s the outside world, and they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and ♪ crazy rice farms ♪. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, then you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survvvvive. So that makes you king.
Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread all across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here (Hi), here (Chikushi), here (Izumo), here (Kibi), here (Yamato), here (Koshi), and here (Kenu). But this one (Yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly superperson, or emperor for short.
Knock knock, get the door, it’s religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion 🎺🎺🎺 (Buddhism) from Baekje.
“Please try this religion,” he said.
“No,” said everybody.
“Try iiiiit,” he said.
“no,” said everybody again, quieter this time.
And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it.
Then, the government was taken over by another clique (Taika). And they made some reforms , like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China’s government, which is a government that governs more.
“Hi China,” they said.
“Hi dipshit (wa, dwarf),” said China.
“Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?” said Japan.
“Like what?” said China.
♫♪"How about sunrise laaand?“♪♫ said Japan.
And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves! And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.
Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while, right here (Kyoto, Heian Palace). And they conquered the north finally, get that squared away.
A rich hipster named Kūkai is bored with modern Buddhism and visits China, learns a better version which is more ♫♪ spiritual ♪♫, comes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫♪ great ♪♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dreamworld of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country.
So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals? ♫♪ Hire a samurai. ♪♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government, right here. They let the emperor still be emperor, but the shogun was actually in control.
Breaking news, the Mongols have invaded China.
"W̛e҉’ve i͟nv̕aded ̵Chi͠na̸,” said the Mongols, “Pl͘e̶a̷se̵ ͝res͢p̛ȩc̷t u͢s҉,͜ or͜ el̕se w͞e ͟m̛igh͟t ͠i͝nvade͡ ̕y͜o̕u̕ ͡a͡s̕ ̡well̀.̢”
“Okay,” said Japan.
So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornadotyphoon. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornadotyphoon.
Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to Kyoto, and makes a new shogunate. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine.
♫♪ Now there’s more art. ♪♫
Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers.
It’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun. Usually it’s the shogun’s kid, but the shogun doesn’t have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay. But then the shogun has a kid. So now who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn’t care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game.
Knock knock, it’s Europe. No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks, and guns, and ♫♪ Jesus ♪♫. So that’s cool. But everyone’s still fighting each other for control. Now with guns! And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? This clan (Imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (Oda) which is in the way. Surprise, smaller clan wins! And the leader of that clan (Oda Nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well.
He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him (Toyotomi Hideyoshi) kills them, and that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords. And he made some rules.
“Ąnd͟ n͟ow I'̛m̶ goińg̡ to ͘inva͞d̨e ͝Kor͟e͡a,̵ an͝d͢ ̶the̴n h͜op̷ef̕ull͏y ̵Chin͢a̛,” he said, and failed, and also died.
But before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said yeah right, it’s not gonna be this kid, it’s gonna be one of us. ‘Cause we’re grownups. And it’s probably gonna be this guy (Tokugawa Ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others.
A lot of people support him, but a lot of people (Ishida Mitsunari) support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins. And starts a new government, right here. ♫♪ Edo ♫♪ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this (Tokugawa family) is the new government. And they are very strict, so strict they close the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (Dejima).
Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published. There was poetry (haiku), plays (kabuki), sexytimes, puppet shows (bunraku), and Dutch studies. People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.
Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do-
*impending doom music*
Knock knock. It’s the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats.
“O͜pe͡ņ,̨ t͡he͏ ͘c̷o̷ưntry. ͠S̛t͜o̡p̛,̵ ҉ha͠v̀in͜g̷ i͝t̀ ͝be̴ ́clo͞sed.̢” said the United States.
*music ends*
There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want.
Chōshu and Satsuma hated this. “That sucks!” they said. “This sucks!!!”
And with almost very little outside help, (from Britain) they overthrew the shogunate. And somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed eastern capital (Tokyo). They made a new government, which was a lot more Western. And they made a new constitution, which was.. pretty Western. And a military that was… pretty Western (large).
And do you know what else is Western? That’s right, it’s conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further (Liaodong Peninsula).
And Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, “Stop no you can’t do that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shitton of soldiers. Then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuckton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade.
And Japan says, “Can you maybe chill?”
And Russia says, “How 'bout maybe you chill?”
Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You’ll never guess who's alsokind of scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, but just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop.
♫♪ It’s time for World War I ♪♫
The world is about to have a war. Because it’s the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̵͡͝͝o͏̨̨̢͢o͏͏̵̧̕ơ̢̢͜͜o͠͏͢ó͘o̶̢̧ó̷͝͠o͝͡o̧͘r̨̢̕ȩ̸ and the next thing on their list is this part of China (Qingdao) and lots of tiny islands.
All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, who was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France was friends with Russia who was getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass. Err, actually, he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan. So you know what that means, duhhh.
♫♪ Japan should take the islands. ♪♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they sort of called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know, and then they did it! And they also helped Britain here and there with some errands and stuff. *bell rings*
Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan, you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (Paris Peace Conference), with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. And you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫♪ the League of Nations ♪♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world.
The Great Depression is bad, and Japan’s economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria. And the League of Nations is like ♪"No don’t do that if you’re in the League of Nations you’re not supposed to try to take over the world.“♪
And Japan said, ♫♪ How bout I do, anyway? ♪♫ And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
You’ve got mail.
It’s from Germany, the new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common.
♫♪ It’s time for World War II ♪♫
Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors’ neighbors, then, the neighbor’s neighbors’ neighbors, who happen to be Britain, said "Holy shiiit” and the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫♪ good friends ♪♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫♪" Their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they’re planning on invaaading the entire ocean.“♪♫
The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb. Bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case (Germany). But they still haven’t joined the war, war looks bad on TV, and the United States is really starting to care about their image.
But then Japan spits on them, in Hawai'i, and challenges them to war. And they say yes! And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also chase Japan back into Japan. And they haven’t used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on Japan.
They actually drop two.
(You win.)
The United States installed a new government, inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫♪ post-war economic miracle ♪♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. But then the miracle wears off, but everything’s still pretty cool I guess. ♪♫ Bye. ♫♪

amour

pairing: jeff atkins / reader

genre: smut (lol someone needs to tape my hands in prayer form bc I NEED IT)

description: jeff wins the championship game and as the great girlfriend that u are… u know..u do some cool tricks…HAHAHAHA

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FOOL4U

Jughead x Reader

Wordcount: 1,635

A/N: Leave me requests in my DM’s 

Summery: Jughead and y/n get caught up in a heated moment by the lake

Y/N POV -

The heat radiated off my skin as I stepped out of the water onto the riverbank. There was a warm subtle breeze hitting my face as I join the others sat on a large rock, beer cans and food around us. The gang had decided to start off the new term at school on a high note so we all met up by the river for the day and had a couple of drinks. The group consisted of Archie, Betty, Kevin, Veronica, Jughead and myself.

We all sat round on the rock sharing laughs and making plans for our future summer together. Although some moments weren’t as perfect as others due to there still being tension between some members of the group. There was an ominous feeling about the day as we’d all pushed aside the Jason Blossom case to free our minds of the stress for one weekend.

I sigh and take in a deep breath of fresh air, feeling cold, refreshing water droplets spin down my back from my wet hair. I run my fingers through it to untangle the knots that had appeared. I look to my left to see Jughead awkwardly looking around unsure of what to do with himself. A look of slight discomfort contorted onto his features.

“You okay Juggie?” I ask him quietly not wanting to draw the attention of others. He just looks at me and shrugs, a solemn look about him.

“You gonna strip those clothes off for us Juggie” Veronica cheekily flirted towards the only one still fully dressed at the time. Jughead just scoffed and looked away biting back  “Are you gonna learn to keep your clothes on Veronica?” gaining awkward hisses and coughs from the others.

“That’s a little harsh isn’t Jug, considering it’s still basically summer, are you not planning on getting in the water with the rest of us later on then?” I ask him discreetly smirking his way.

“If it gets too hot then sure i’ll come in, but it’s not necessary for me to sit here half naked and be even more uncomfortable” he passive aggressively comments throwing his arms into the air.

We all just let out breathy laughs and go back to coordinating normal conversation. Not that any of us could really have a normal conversation as our minds had been constantly filled with the conspiracies towards Jason’s death.

“So Archie, how’s your music coming along?” Betty questions the red headed boy sat opposite us. “Yeah it’s good, I’m just really trying to throw myself into writing really, right enough of this sitting around, who wants to get in the water with me?” Archie suggests standing up, Betty, V and Kevin all stand up and follow Archie into the water, all smiles and laughs. I really did love my friends.

“You don’t have to sit here with me because you feel sorry for me you know?” Jughead suddenly snaps looking towards me. “I’m not staying with you because I feel sorry for you, I’m staying here because I enjoy your company dumb ass” I laugh and playfully shove the raven haired boy. He chuckles and grabs my hands to stop me from pushing him. Goose bumps travel up my arms as his hands come into contact with mine. I lean in towards him and let myself collapse in his lap, my head looking up at him, while our hands were still intertwined he fiddled with my fingers.

“I love the way you act around me, you’re just more free” I say looking up at his beautiful face. His green eyes catch mine and he smiles, Not something many people got to see very often, but I had always had the ability to bring it onto his face.

“Well that’s because I’m comfortable with you, I don’t have to pretend to like you it just comes naturally” there was a few minutes silence after his confession, where we just sat enjoying each others company listening to the sounds of our surroundings. You could hear the water splashing and our friends laughs were heard over the buzzing of the nature. It was a truly breathtaking moment in time.

“Do you think we should tell them?” I ask him quietly not wanting to spoil the atmosphere.

“Tell them what?” He replies dumbly knowing exactly what i was talking about, just then he let go of one of my hands and brushed it through my hair, making loops around his fingers with the locks.

“About us” I retort flatly, not taking his sarcasm to heart.

“meh, why do they need to know right now, I don’t care just as long as you’re happy, but not everyone has to know our business, let them just sit and ship us for a while longer” he breaths out.

“yeah it is kinda fun watching them freak out over the little things isn’t it” I giggle and look down at our still intertwined hands. Jug just smiles and nods down at me.

“Right” I sigh standing up and pulling him with me, “take your clothes off we’re going for a swim” He groans in distaste pulling a face but still he shrugs his shirt over his head, kicking off his shoes. I couldn’t help but stare at his body as he removed the layers of clothes. His slightly indented stomach sort of gleamed as the sun hit his skin. He was perfect to me, not completely ripped like Archie, he had a slightly toned lanky figure which suited him well. Once he was ready I lightly pushed him back yelling over my shoulder.

“Race you to the water” I giggle running ahead. It didn’t take long for him to catch up and we joined the others in the water.

“well look who decided to show up” V commented splashing water up at me. I let out a small screech as the cold water splashed up at my body, I just laughed and splashed her back. Bad move. We had started a splashing war between the group, everyone screaming and laughing kicked and thrashing in the water to get everyone wet.

Even Jughead joined in and genuinely looked happy, something that goes a long way in my eyes, I loved to see him happy and smiling, a nice difference from his usual grumpy disposition.

We all carried on messing around in the water for a matter of time, when Betty suggested taking a swim around the lake, Her and Archie swam off and Veronica and Kevin were heavily enthused in competing on ‘who can do the better handstand’

“You wanna take a walk?” Jughead nudges me, his arm comes up to my waist and he tugs me towards the river bank again. I ring out the water from my hair as we walk towards the rock where his clothes were. He just shimmies on his jeans and hands me his flannel shirt, I look up at him and smile, putting the flannel on over my body.

We walk through the forest into a more secluded area, talking about nothing in general. I stop to look at the scenery before us. You could still see the lake peaking through the trees, and sunlight streaking through the gaps of branches. Jughead pulls me towards him by my waist and presses his lips against mine briefly. he pushes his forehead onto mine and breathes out “Beautiful” raising a hand to my face he strokes my cheek, his rough thumb stroking over my bottom lip, I look up into his eyes and notice the contentment in them.

He leans down pressing his lips to mine again, harder than before, his grip around my waist subconsciously tightens. My arms sling around his neck, one hand coming into contact with his face the other falling to the back of his head grasping the wavy raven locks in between my dainty fingers.

He slowly starts to walk me backwards not breaking the kiss until my back hits a tree. Both of his hands now resided on my waist tugging at the shirt he had so graciously handed to me. Our lips moved roughly against each others, both of us pouring our passion into the other person. My hands slipped down from his neck and rested on his smooth chest. Jughead pressed himself closer against me our chests now flush together. I could feel the rough bark from the tree behind me digging into my back. Giving me a slight sensation while our lips were meshed together.

I captured his bottom lip in between my teeth and lightly sucked on it before returning my lips to his. His hands slid round my waist to my lower back where he pulls me closer into his, if that’s even possible. The closeness between us right now was why we enjoyed being with one another, the raw connection we both felt never hesitated to send shivers down my spine.

“Woah! what’s going on here then guys” We hear the smug comment from Veronica, causing us to pull away from each other in shock. she just laughs and shakes her head. “I knew something was going on between you two” and walks away yelling to the others that she had some “big news”

“Well i guess the cats out of the bag then” Jug smiled and looked down at me, still holding onto my waist.

“Do you want me to go and tell her not to say anything?” I enquire looking up to him shyly, not really caring we were caught.

“Nah, let them all see I’m a fool for you” he replies pressing his forehead to mine smiling down at me. I just smile and lean up to press my lips to his once more. This really couldn’t have been a more perfect day.

Self Care

It’s Mental Health Month. May 1st. The beginning of it. I just want to post some tips on what I find useful when I feel anxious, depressed or lonely. Some tips on how to care for yourself mixed in here too. I know what it’s like to feel like nothing is going to work out and you feel like there is no point anymore. I still get sad from time to time but here is what I try to do to lower those horrible feelings. 


  1. Music 
    When I feel down I put on my chill playlist and listen to the songs. Not just recognize that the song is playing. I listen to every word, every beat, every instrument that makes a sound. I listen so hard that I forget everything else around me and forget everything that is going on in my head for a while. This actually really helps and especially if it’s a slow song, something that matches my mood. 
  2. Reading 
    Reading is one of my favourite things to do. I’m in love with words. And getting deep into one of my favourite books helps me forget for a while. Grab something to drink and maybe a snack, find a quiet and comfy place to relax and let yourself fall into a book. 
  3. Eat 
    When I feel depressed my appetite can go away pretty quickly. But if you don’t eat, you’ll feel even more tired and low. And that’s not good. So eat. Not junk food. Maybe a treat every now and again but make sure to eat healthy too. Fruit or vegetables. Maybe make some type of sandwhich or maybe eat a bowl of porridge. Whatever you want to make. But remember, not always junk food. And drink lot’s and lot’s of water. 
  4. Shower or bath 
    If you feel all ugh, and ew take a long warm shower or a bath full of bubbles. Taking a shower or bath might help you feel more relaxed and feel more taken care of. And keeping yourself fresh and clean will help help boost your system. 
  5. Fresh air 
    When I’m down, I get lazy. So the whole ‘take a long walk’ thing doesn’t go with me. What I like to do instead is open a window and stand there or take a chair and sit near there. I’m getting fresh air into my lungs which is good and I don’t need to get up and go outside to do it. Now getting exercise is a good thing to do too because it’ll boost your system also. But when you really can’t get up and walk far, just go to a window and read or listen to music.
  6. Cry 
    Yes crying is on this list. When you really need to let those tears out, just do it. If you’re in a place you feel comfortable enough to do it. Let it all out, for however long you need to. Crying doesn’t make you weak or a loser or whatever you think it makes you. It helps you. Instead of holding all those feelings in, you can let them out by crying. So just do it because a cry every now and again, will make you feel a little better. Hopefully. 
  7. Decorate and change it up
    This may be an odd one but it helps me. When I’m sad I’ll look up some quotes that I really like, write them on some paper and decorate the paper and stick it on my wall. Or sometimes I sift things around. If I think something in my room would look better in a different position then I’ll move it. I’ll maybe take some things down and hang something new up instead. Tidy my room too if it needs it. This helps because I’m focusing on other things. Where will this go? Does this look good on this wall? Things like that. Try it and see. 
  8.  Breathe 
    When I feel like I can’t breathe, I remember that I just need to take a minute. Look at my surroundings. What’s the colour of the walls? Breathe. What’s in the room? Breathe. What’s the weather like outside? Breathe. What’s my favourite food? Breathe. Do I have any plans this week? Breathe. Ask yourself some questions. Answer them and breathe. Breathe, breathe and breathe. Don’t let you make yourself small. Think bigger than what that stupid annoying voice in your head is telling you. Breathe. Because you’re worth it.

I hope these tips helped. I really do. And please, please REMEMBER… you are beautiful. You are so amazing and this world needs you in it. Maybe you feel like no one cares. But I guarantee you there is somebody out there who thinks the world of you. You are somebody’s moon. You’re that person who lights up the darkness for them. Don’t let your light go out. Stay strong and remember to love yourself and take care of yourself. You guys are more than welcome to ask me something if you need any advice or have any questions. The door is open and you are welcome. 

2

Stay  ~Jeff Atkins x Reader~

There’s something beautiful about the summer- they way it creates a new version of reality where music sounds better and happiness feels sweeter. Parties can give the same kind of feeling where nothing feels real, but all of it feels great. Well, until the next morning.

This makes an end of the summer party the pinnacle of a new reality. Inhibitions run low and everything else is on overdrive. In a week they will all be students again, studying to ensure the best future possible. But for tonight they are 60% alcohol and 40% bad decisions.

“Y/N!” Jess squeals with excitement, running towards the girl who just entered the room. She had been away visiting family abroad for the majority of the summer, and while the beaches had given a whole new meaning to the word ‘paradise’, this was where she was truly happiest.

“Jess!” she returns the enthusiasm, hugging her best friend tightly. The warm breezes that blew in through her window every morning this past summer brought her comfort, but this was home.

“I want in,” Justin grins, approaching the two and enveloping them between his arms.

“God I’ve missed you guys,” she sighs contentedly.

“You have so much third wheeling to catch up on,” Jess teases light heartedly.

Her face twists up unpleasantly at the thought. She loves both Jess and Justin dearly, but she does not love the thought of third wheeling. “With all due respect, I think I’ll pass.”

“Is that Y/N Y/L/N?!” a fourth voice enters the picture, causing the trio to part and turn towards the person walking towards them.

Jeff Atkins. Baseball star and literal ray of sunshine with the face of an angel and the body of a Greek God.

“Hey, Jeff,” she laughs, walking away from Jess and Justin to meet him halfway.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” Jeff grins warmly, brushing her arm with his hand. It’s a sweet gesture. He’s always been so sweet.

“It’s only been like two months,” she mirrors his grin. It’s impossible not to smile back at someone who radiates warmth the way he does.

“Feels like forever though. Especially since I was used to seeing you everyday at school. You look nice by the way,” he bumps her shoulder.

“I missed you, too,” she chuckles, “I look like I always do.”

“Exactly.”

She bites her lips together before looking down shyly and letting them fall apart into a smile. Jeff Atkins was so genuinely good in a way that was uniquely him.

“Jeff!” Troy yells from the outside patio, “Beer pong, now, c’mon man!”

“Coming!” Jeff yells back to Troy, but turns back to her before walking away. “Come watch us play? You can practice cheering me on for baseball season,” his mouth twists into a smirk.

“Who says I’m gonna come to your baseball games?” She challenges playfully, using quick wit to redeem herself from the shy smile.

“Don’t break my heart, Y/N,” he pouts childishly, walking backward to join the boys for a game of beer pong but not breaking eye contact with her. He finally turns away from her to exit the house and join those outside, but not before mouthing a “pleaasssseeee” and sticking out his bottom lip.

“I’ll be there in a second!” she yells so he can hear her over the music.

His pout transforms into a grin before he disappears through the threshold, indicating that he heard her.

“So how about a double date instead of third wheeling?” Justin and Jess approach her with Justin wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh shut up,” her face heats up at the thought, “He’s a nice guy. He’s friendly with everyone.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t flirt with everyone,” Jess interjects, crossing her arms over her chest vindictively.

“He didn’t ask me to cheer for him,” Justin fakes offense, “Honestly I’m a little hurt.”

“Fuck off, Justin,” she laughs loudly, putting her hands over her face.

“You better get out there,” Justin presses, gesturing to the sliding door, “After all, it’s mine and Jess’s two month anniversary so an intense make-out session could happen at anytime.”

“Bye!” she turns on her heels quickly, running away from her friends before they could make things awkward, or more awkward.

***
Five cups of jungle juice and two games of beer pong later she’s sitting on a folding lawn chair watching Jeff singlehandedly win a third game of beer pong since Troy had wandered off and was bothering Hannah and Clay.

After sinking another shot, Jeff notices where Troy had gone. A brief look of panic flashes across his face before he mutters a quick, “be right back!”, making a beeline for Troy. Jeff was just about as invested in Clay and Hannah as Clay was in Hannah. She wondered just how much better off the world would be if everyone had the same heart as Jeff.

“Did you save the day?” she asks upon Jeff’s return. She’s quite drunk and seeing two of everything, including two Jeffs. How wonderful would that be? A world with two Jeff Atkins. Incredible.

“I don’t know about that,” he chuckles modestly, “It’s up to Clay.”

“Meanwhile that beer run is up to you, buddy” Troy points out, his words slurring together.

“Later man,” Jeff replies, picking up a ping pong ball.

“Because you definitely need more alcohol,” she rolls her eyes at Troy, a sick feeling blossoming in her stomach.

“Don’t be a buzzkill, Y/N,” Troy retorts.

“Hey, relax,” Jeff snaps at Troy, “you’ll get your beer.”

The sick feeling in her stomach intensifies tenfold. She doesn’t want him to go, but she can’t beg him to stay. He’s not drunk, he would never jeopardize his life or anyone else’s so recklessly. But something about it still doesn’t feel right. He shouldn’t go.

She stands up, wobbling slightly. She grabs the back of her lawn chair to steady herself before heading back for the house. The twisting in her stomach is ominous in a way that refuses to be ignored.

“Where’re you going?” Jeff asks, his eyebrows knitting together.

“I need another drink,” she mumbles, brushing past him.

***
Three shots and a game of suck and blow later she’s feeling light and airy. All the anxiety from earlier has been replaced with a tingling feeling that reaches her feet. She’s quite hammered, and all the slip ups in suck and blow have her laughing and her sides aching. She’s starting to get lightheaded.

“I’m gonna go get some air,” she gasps in-between fits of laughter.

“Can you even walk?” Jess giggles.

“I’ll crawl if I have to,” she shrugs, stumbling her way out the door.

***
There’s nothing like the refreshing sensation of cool air hitting your skin after being cooped up in a house full of drunks, especially when you’re drunk yourself. The feeling of a breeze on her face is intoxicating in its own right, so she continues to walk around the outside of the house until she reaches the front.

There’s someone else at the front of the house, too. She can only see their back as they walk towards the row of cars, but she knows who it is. Suddenly she remembers why she felt the need to down three shots of vodka.

“Atkins,” she calls out, stumbling a bit as she walks forward.

He turns around at the sound of his name, smiling when he sees who it is. “Hey, you. Looks like you got that drink you wanted,” he laughs lightheartedly at her shaky balance.

“You making that beer run?” she asks, wringing her hands together nervously.

“Yeah. I’m not even a little buzzed, don’t worry,” he says soothingly.

“Stay,” she says softly.

“Huh?” he tilts his head to the side.

She continues to walk forward until she’s standing right in front of him, her weight falling to the side enough to make her falter. He reaches out to steady her, keeping a firm grasp on her side. She places her hands on his chest to steady herself before locking her eyes on his.

“Stay,” she repeats.

“Y/N, it’s okay I’m completely fine I promise. I only had two beers like two hours ago,” he assures, his voice gentle.

“I know, but it’s not like anybody needs anymore alcohol. I’m one of the more sober ones right now and that says a lot. Honestly I don’t even know how I made it out here on my own,” she sighs, “Just stay, please. ”

He looks at her softly, his eyes studying the worry etched onto her face. She feels so delicate in his grasp, like a porcelain doll that could shatter with too much pressure. He has always been enamored with her.

“Okay,” he moves his hands to hold her face, “I’ll stay.”

She lets out a heavy breath, letting her forehead rest against his chest and wrapping her arms around him. Maybe she was worrying over nothing, maybe she wasn’t, but she’s unexplainably relieved at those words.

“You gotta promise to watch me play baseball though,” he teases.

“I’ll be there every game with a sign that has your name on it,” she laughs, tilting her chin up to look at him.

“You gotta stop looking at me like that,” he shakes his head,“I might just fall in love with you.”

“Don’t get my hopes up.”

“Don’t leave for two months at a time,” he counters, grinning boyishly.

“I’d stay right here forever if I could,” she tightens her arms around him.

“I’d kiss you if you weren’t like 10 drinks deep right now,” he laughs, rubbing her back gingerly.

“Let’s go inside. I need to get sober. Right now. Immediately,” she pulls away, grabbing his hand to tow him behind her. Their laughter echoes down the empty street as they run around to the back of the house.

There’s something beautiful about the end of summer- the way things begin to feel more permanent. A simple request can change so much. All he had to do was stay. And he did.


Masterlist

Gifs (X) (X)

Praise Kink

In which Harry is incredibly nervous and y/n knows just how to calm him down.

A/N: WELL I did it. Barely.  I managed to get this finished before Harry’s single dropped so that I’ll be able to freak out in peace tonight.  I hope you enjoy because this is… kinda filthy.  LOVE YA BUY SIGN OF THE TIMES ON ITUNES!

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At Last (m)

“Baby…” you murmur against his lips, hands snaking under his pesky tee. “I need you so bad.”

Jimin chuckles, inching away from you. “Do you?” he questions, eyebrow cocking upwards.

You frantically nod your head, the heat in your thighs unbearable along with the arousal that pools in your panties.

“Then beg for me.”

Originally posted by bangtaninspired

Pairing: Jimin x Reader // gaming au, long distance lovers au

Genre: Smut, a lil’ fluff

Word Count: 7.5k

Trilogy: Until Next TimeMaybe Next Time ↣ At Last

Includes: roadhead, oral, spanking, dom jimin, multiple orgasms, nipple play

A/N: i know i said this would be out next week but the thirst became too strong; anyway, enjoy the last part! ^^


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anonymous asked:

Hey Emma, could you give me some productivity tips?

Hello! Here are a few:

  • clear desk, clear mind - I like to organise things before I start working. If things are messy, I get a little preoccupied and procrastinate even more. My suggestion is clear your desk, sort everything you’ll need to study and get on!
  • the two-minute rule - if a task that needs to be done takes less than two minutes, just do it. My dad has often suggested that this is a great way to sort out your priorities and so far it has worked for me. Things like checking my emails, cross off events from my planner, file something away don’t take long but get you in the mood for productivity. As they say “object in motion, stay in motion”.
  • break your time up - schedule your study time and any breaks you need to take. This helps structure your day and acts as a motivation to get things done. Especially if you can reward yourself at the end! Check out my printables for organising your time!
  • leave your phone alone - Like most people, I use my phone constantly but when I’m trying to work, it is best to leave it alone. Out of sight, out of mind. Try leaving it on silent and behind you so you aren’t tempted to pick it up after every beep. Use your break times to check it.
  • find your top three to five priorities - seeing a long list of things to do is usually, for some people, kind of counterproductive. Figure out the main things that need to be done and work on those. If you’re able to complete those main things, you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished the day’s necessities and may even want to complete some more.
  • try using a mindmap instead of a to-do list - apparently using a mindmap layout instead of a traditional list can help boost productivity. It is a little more funky way to see all your outstanding tasks and might not look as overwhelming as a super long list.
  • wear headphones - you don’t have to always listen to things but it can help block out any noise that can distract you. If you’re someone that likes some music, try songs with little or no words. This is a great playlist by Spotify.
  • don’t multitask - as much as you think you can do it, trying to multitask usually ends up in a confused mess and takes twice the time. Stick to one task at a time. If you think of something you need to do, write it down and do it later.
  • change things up - doing the same things in the same place can get boring. Make the effort every now and then to change where you’re studying or how you’re studying. This can include moving your studying from the desk to the kitchen table for a change of scenery or making flash cards instead of annotating your notes. Studying with a family member or friends is a fun way to get some work done!
  • be positive - most people have times when they just don’t want to study or anything, it is natural. However, it is not worth sitting staring at your books in an unmotivated mood just waiting to feel inspired. If you’re not feeling it, do something else for a while. Come back to it a bit later and have another go. Usually walking away and coming back is all you need to feel more productive.
  • focus on 20-30 minute periods - generally, we lose focus after a while so taking regular breaks can help give you chance to relax and refocus. Apps like Forest allow you to set a timer and will give you off your phone at the same time. Obviously, if you’re being productive, don’t suddenly cut that off because it is “time for a break”.
  • divide and conquer - figure out what is the overall task that you need to do and split it into manageable parts. For instance, with an essay the aim is to write it! Divide it into planning out what you want to write, any references you need, summarising a final draft and then writing each paragraph. By dividing bigger tasks into actionable parts you can reduce the obstacles and get through each part in a more timely manner.
  • make the effort to refocus - if you’re finding something boring and you’re unfocused, walk away for 5 minutes, get a drink and come back. If you’re really struggling, change topics for a while. Find a point where you can finish and start doing something else that is productive. 

Hope that helps :-)

Amends

For the following request: “Could you please do a blurb where harry and the reader get into an argument?” 

This one is rather long, and angsty… Hope you all enjoy :) x



“What do you mean you can’t come? We’re in the bridal party, Harry..” you trail off meekly, staring at him with wide eyes over the top of your laptop.

He’s leaning against the doorway of your shared room with his arms crossed against the chest of the white t shirt he has on, tattooed arms glowing in the light of the sunset that’s streaming through the parted curtains, “Christ, love.. I kno’. But there’s nothin’ I can do… yeh kno’ I’d be there if I could.”

You blink at him in disbelief over your screen before you lower it to a close, sitting up on the bed and curling your legs towards you as you set the computer aside. You’re at a loss for words and the silence in between you two is deafening. He’s talking about missing your sister’s wedding this weekend, a wedding that has been planned months in advance.

“Say somethin,” he commands with a rasping voice, causing you to look up at him from your shocked reviere.

“Can’t you talk to Jeff? Harry everyone’s expecting us…” you try again with a weak voice, tilting your head at him. All your extended relatives were excited to meet Harry, but most especially your grandparents.

He sighs deeply and pushes off the doorway, making his way towards you and sitting on the bed next to you. He covers your knee with a hand, giving it a loving squeeze as he looks you carefully in the eye, “Tried, my love. S’just something ‘ve got t’do. S’fo m’job innit?”

His last statement makes the dropping sense of disappointment in your stomach pause for a moment.  He has a point. In all your time with Harry, you hadn’t often resented his career. It was a lot to handle, yes. From the hate, to the never ending flashes of cameras, to the overwhelming feeling of him being gone time and time again. His career was something he worked so hard for  and he made you so proud.  He handled as much as he personally could with charm and a careful heart, and even if you weren’t dating him- you know you’d admire him. Especially with his upcoming album, one that he’s worked so tirelessly for, one that you had convinced him was golden time and time again, you know this last minute nuisance of a event is crucial. And although the overwhelming part of you wants to throw a fit, you know you won’t.

His eyes are sincere and his brows are furrowed as he watches every inch of your face closely. You can tell he feels guilty, and you shake your head boldly before clearing your throat, “Y-yeah You’re right. It’s okay, Harry.”

Harry sighs with relief, giving you a boyish grin before he leans forward and presses a puckering kiss to your cheek in appreciation, “S’my girl. Knew yeh would understand fo’ me.”

That had been 4 days ago, and you thought you would understand. Because you had time and time again, but now, sitting with your hair pinned up in two dozen different places and aching feet to accompany your sour mood- you think otherwise. It had been a succession of events that had led you to feeling so… damn sorry for yourself. From your cousin having to step in to accompany you in the bridal festivities, to answering the question of Harry’s whereabouts from countless relatives, to Harry not even sending you a text throughout the day, and to now- watching the couples of all types dancing away: daddy/daughter, bride and groom, old aunts and uncles, and your parents. You feel completely alone in a room full of people, and slightly humiliated too.

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